Episode 1 Sam & Mark's Total Wind-Ups

MUSIC: "Jerk It Out" by Caesars

# Wind me up, put me down Start me up and watch me go

# It's easy once you know how it's done

# You can't stop now It's already begun. #

Sam And Mark's Total Wind-Ups - boom!

If you like hidden camera shenanigans...

You're in the right place, my friend.

Sit back and feast your eyes on some of our favourite pranks

-from Big Friday Wind-Up.

-Let's kick things off in Kingston.

Welcome to another round of In Yer Face.

And today, we have wound things up a notch.

Because this challenge is quite possibly our toughest yet.

I'm taking Beth...

And I'm taking Kate.

The aim of the game is not to get recognised.

And we've got loads of costumes and cunning disguises to help.

And whoever gets away with it the longest is the winner.

But if they uncover our true identity

and make a positive ID right in our faces, then it's game over.

OK, let's kick things off with Round One - Lost Clown.

Can these two jokers avoid getting recognised

whilst clowning around in a town? First up, Sam.

OK, Sam. May I say you look fantastic as a clown? Nice glasses.

-Thanks, mate!

-Here are the rules. You need to be a lost clown.

-You need to ask her for directions to a house of your choosing.

-OK.

What accent are you going to do?

Clowns are pretty stupid, aren't they?

So I might be from Wolverhampton.

MARK GASPS Ooh, ho-ho-ho-hoo!

How dare you!

ALARM SOUNDS

(Oh, it's exciting!)

Morning. I don't suppose you know where house number 22 is, do you?

-22?

-Yeah. I'm trying to find it here on the map, but I can't find it.

-Oh, she's looking. She's so looking.

-Down here?

-Yeah.

-OK.

-There's 22 on our road, yeah.

Oh, my glasses are coming off, sorry.

MARK LAUGHS

Cool, thank you very much, thank you, cheers, thank you.

Do you want a balloon?

-No, I'm fine.

-OK, bye. Bye.

(I've dropped my nose, dropped my nose!)

She didn't even take a balloon off you.

-SAM LAUGHS

-No, it's a hollow victory.

-Why?

-She didn't take a balloon and you lost your nose.

-Hang on, though.

That should make it even better. I lost my nose,

she still didn't recognise me

-and I offered her a balloon, but she didn't want one.

-Ridiculous.

So, Sam takes an early lead. Next up, Mark.

PARTY BLOWER SOUNDS

OK, Mark. It's your turn, how are you feeling?

-A little bit nervous, after your...

-Victory.

-Well...

OK, you know the rules.

-And I tell you something.

-Yeah?

-If she takes a balloon off you,

I will give you a pat on the back.

Oh, well, there's incentive for you(!)

ALARM SOUNDS

Oh, here she comes. Good luck.

She's coming with her dad, mate. Don't mess it up.

Excuse me, I don't suppose you know where number 22 is, do you?

I'm a bit lost. Do you know 22?

-You go down a bit.

-All right.

Oh, she's suspicious!

-Say it, say it!

-Sorry.

'Say it!'

-Do you know, do you know?

-Say it!

-Do you want a balloon?

-I've got loads in my back pocket for you.

-Yeah.

-Lovely.

-Thank you.

-Nicely done.

-All right, then. Well, thank you.

-Oh!

-Well, good luck, mate.

-Thanks very much, I'll need it.

That was risky.

That, my friend, was a close one.

Yeah, I have never been so scared in my entire life.

Why didn't she say it? I could have won on the first round.

No, it's fine, it's 1-1.

So, with the scores one apiece,

let's move on to Round Two - Scuba Diver.

Will the lads be able to pass themselves off as deep sea divers,

-without making a splash? First up, Scuba Sam.

-Oh, Sam.

-Sam, Sam, Sam.

-I look like my dad.

-You do, actually! Lovely 'tache.

OK, here are the rules.

When Beth comes in, you need to strike up a conversation with her.

-OK.

-But you must include the word in the conversation of...

In fact, I won't tell you now, I'll tell you when Beth comes in.

Oh, cheeky!

ALARM SOUNDS

-All right, well, good luck.

-Don't make it a silly word.

MARK LAUGHS

G'day, guys. If you need any help with anything, just give us a holler.

The word I want you to get into the conversation is "gravy."

Do you guys need any help, or are you all gravy?

-Um, do you have different sizes?

-She has no clue.

-How's that feeling, yeah?

-Yeah.

-Yeah? Good.

-Thank you.

-Thanks.

-Oh, man!

That was all gravy, mate! 2-1, mate. You must be so nervous now.

-I'm so nervous.

-So, Sam leads, 2-1.

Next to take the plunge, it's Mark.

-What will your accent be?

-(DUTCH ACCENT) I'll speak like this.

Oh, dear!

ALARM SOUNDS

-Good luck!

-Hello, there.

-Your word is "moustache".

-You like scuba?

-Yeah.

-Yeah, you like scuba?

-Yeah.

If you want to check the size of the goggles,

-you have to put them on your face and then suck in.

-OK.

To make sure that they're the right size.

You get them caught in your moustache.

-There, he said it, "moustache".

-Very good, very good.

Breathe in through the nose and it sucks on the face

-and then you'll know...

-SAM LAUGHS

-Have you done it?

-"Sucks on the face"!

-Enjoy your holiday.

-Man!

-Yes, back in the game, methinks.

-Can't believe that.

My favourite bit of that was,

"You have to breathe through your nose to suck it on the face."

BOTH LAUGH

-I thought my moustache was coming off!

-You were good, man.

BOTH SCREAM Woo!

So, that's 2-2. In Yer Face, Round Three...

Birdwatcher.

Will Sam and Marks' binoculars leave their targets seeing double?

First up, Sam.

You are a birdwatcher and you are looking for a rare species of bird.

It doesn't matter which one.

-Yeah.

-But what you do need to do is play on the old bird whistle.

-Yeah.

-Best of luck.

-Thanks, mate.

ALARM SOUNDS

Here she comes, mate.

QUACKING SOUND

(IRISH ACCENT) Excuse me? I wondered if you could help me.

I'm looking for this rare bird here. It's called a hobby.

It reacts to a certain bird call. It's a...

QUACKING SOUND

I have a spare whistle, if you'd like to help.

-OK. OK. Thank you.

-Oh!

-I'll move on to somewhere else.

QUACKING SOUND

Oh, hold your horses.

Oh, she's got you.

'Say it, say it! Say it!'

Come on, come on, just say it, say it, say it, say it!

QUACKING SOUND

Oh! Oh, you're joking.

QUACKING

-All right!

-No.

# I am through to the final! #

No, what happened was she said to her mum, "That's Sam, isn't it?"

-But she didn't say it to you.

-Exactly.

-Look at your 'tache!

It's awful!

Absolutely fan-'tache-tic. 3-2 to Sam. Can Mark level it up?

Mark, this is the big one for you. I'm already through to the final.

-Game on, bring it.

-Here they come, dude. Good luck.

ALARM SOUNDS

QUACKING SOUND

She's laughing already.

Hello, there. I wonder if you could help me.

I'm looking for a rather rare bird in this neck of the woods.

It's called a dipper. I don't know whether you've seen it at all.

-Um...

-Say it, come on. Say it!

I'm not too sure, I don't think so.

No, well it's a rather interesting call that they... Look.

RHYTHMIC QUACKING SOUND

She's just laughing at you!

Would you like a go? I've got a spare one here if you'd like one.

-Thank you.

-Say it, say it!

I think you're supposed to just go...

RASPING SOUND

QUACKING SOUND

SHE BLOWS

-Yes, yes. Not too bad.

-You look really familiar.

-Ooh, hang about!

-Do I? Do I? Oh, that's interesting.

-Say it, actually say it!

-Well, it's lovely to meet you.

Don't you get out of this!

-You look just like...

-What, sorry?

-Surely, come on!

-You look just like Mark off...what's it,

TMi with Sam.

-Good-looking chap, yes?

-He's all right.

SAM LAUGHS Ha ha, in your face!

HE SIGHS

OK, you win!

Me and Sam have been playing a little game called In Yer Face.

Now, I had you. And Sam had Beth. You'll never guess what.

-Oh, my God, he had Beth!

-Yeah, exactly.

-QUACKING SOUND

-Here he is.

-Hello.

-Oh, my God!

-You all right?

-It's you two!

-Yeah, yeah!

You've rumbled us completely, because I've lost, he's won.

-Yeah!

-He's won.

-Oh, man!

So, Sam's the winner, but is he feeling lucky? Let's find out.

Round Four, Lucky Dip.

So...

-# I am in the final

-Yeah, yes!

-# You didn't make it to the final. #

-All right, all right!

-I've won.

-Yes, OK. Let's see how far we can take it.

-OK.

-Because this, my friend...

-Oooh!

-..is called the Big Friday Wind-Up Lucky Dip.

-Agh, my eyes!

-I know.

What you need to do is put your hand in here and that is

the only disguise that you're going to get.

-OK.

-All right? Put your hand in, have a look.

-Glasses.

-Brilliant.

Look at that. Put them on.

That really isn't a very good disguise, is it?

You look like Clark Kent.

All right, basically what you've got to do is go over there,

sit on that wall next to Beth.

-I can enjoy this cos I've already won it.

-Shut up.

-I'm going to enjoy it.

-Get out of the car.

-Enjoy yourself.

I will. I'm the winner, see you later.

'You've only got your glasses to disguise you.

'Go on, go and sit down by her. She's looking at you.

'She's looking straight at you.

'She's smiling. She's smiling and pointing.'

Excuse me. You're Sam.

How are you doing, nice to see you? Are you all right?

We've been playing a little game with you called In Yer Face,

which I know you've seen before, haven't you?

-And Mark was playing with Kate. Come in, guys.

-Hello, how are you doing?

-Hello.

-You remember earlier on this morning, you went into a scuba shop?

-Was that you?

-That was me!

-I didn't...

-Did you have no clue?

-No.

Another classic game of In Your Face.

Now for something completely different.

Take a lift with some random members of the public,

add one wind-up trumper and this is what you get.

BLOWS RASPBERRIES

BLOWS RASPBERRIES

BLOWS RASPBERRIES

BLOWS RASPBERRIES

BLOWS RASPBERRIES

BLOWS RASPBERRIES

WOMAN LAUGHS

Remind me never to get in a lift with that guy.

Next up in our favourite hidden camera pranks of all time, JLS join

the Wind-Up team, as they help us prank three of their biggest fans.

Over to our wind-up actor, Barry, who's posing as JLS's security.

-Are you all right?

-Cheers for sorting this out.

'And there they are, our massive JLS fans,

'Jess, Molly and Rebecca, along with Jess's dad, Jamie.

'He is in on the wind-up and he is pretending that

'he and Barry are old friends.'

-Look, you look like you've swallowed a rugby ball.

-Don't. I'm on a diet.

I've got a surprise for you. Girls, you sit down.

Which one of you is a JLS fan?

All three?

I've got you access-all-areas tickets.

SAM: 'I think those faces mean that the girls are pretty excited.

'So now, Barry gets them

'to put on special backstage fleeces, for security purposes.'

'Actually, they contain hidden microphones

'so we can hear everything they say, but the girls don't know that.'

Ladies and gentlemen, please stand by, the tour is about to begin.

The JLS secret tour.

This is exclusive to you, we don't do it for anybody else, so follow me.

'First, Barry shows the girls

'the huge concert stage, before taking them

'where no-one else gets to go, it's JLS's dressing room.

'Actually, it's their fake dressing room, but the girls don't know that.'

Sit down on the JLS sofa.

This is the sofa that goes everywhere with them.

THE GIRLS GIGGLE AND SQUEAL

HE MIMICS THE GIRLS

So welcome to our inner sanctum, what do you think?

-HIGH-PITCHED:

-Wow.

-Eh? What was that?

-It's amazing.

-Who is the biggest fan of the three of you?

-Why are you a fan of JLS?

-I just love them.

-But why?

-Because their music is really cool.

-That's a good answer.

-They're fit.

-They're what?

-They're fit.

-They're fit?

-Yeah.

-I see. What about you?

-Both.

-Both of them?

-Yeah.

-Good songs and fit. I see.

-Can we put their clothes on?

-What?

-No.

-Can we put their clothes on and we'll look like JLS.

-Yeah.

-Do you know what colour's whose?

-Yes.

-Which colour is Aston?

-Blue.

-You're right. Who wants to be Aston?

-Me!

-Me!

-You can be Aston.

-Right, who's green?

-Marvin.

-Well done, that was quick.

-You really do know. Put that on. Can you get it on over your jacket?

-Yeah.

-Who's red?

-Oritse.

-Very good.

-That's JB.

-Yeah, that's obvious.

-Are they actually going to wear this?

-Yes, tonight.

Don't tell them, don't worry.

'The girls actually think they're wearing the clothes JLS

'will perform in tonight, so let's crank things up a notch.

'Anyone for some JLS pants?' Here, put them on.

-Go on, I'll take a photograph of them.

-I'm wearing Marvin's T-shirt.

I'm going to get it sweaty.

'The girls are falling for this hook, line and sinker, brilliant.'

There's JB's. I'll take a picture with your camera.

Stand in a line here, you can be the new JLS. Boy-band acting.

'We've got the girls looking pretty silly, in what

'they think is JLS's underwear, so now it's time to show them

'some of the band's pre-concert rituals

'that we have obviously made up.'

-Do you know what a rider is?

-No.

-It's a wish list.

Artists can have whatever you want in the dressing room.

-If you were a big star, what would you want in your dressing room?

-JLS.

THEY LAUGH

-What would you want?

-Sweets.

-That is just what they want.

They eat chocolate like there's no tomorrow.

It's not any old chocolate, it's special chocolate,

it's made by a Swiss chef and flown in specially for JLS.

'Whatever you say, Barry.'

They have this, then they do their warm up, crazy guys.

Have one of these, see if you can taste the difference.

'Are you suggesting they eat JLS's chocolate?

-'Is that really a good idea?'

-I haven't got one.

So they have their chocolate, then they do this.

Do you know... SINGS: # You make me wanna...

-GIRLS:

-# Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-oh

# You make me wanna...

-GIRLS:

-# Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-oh. #

-Do you know the moves?

-No.

-The whole...

You go to the front, Jess.

-I can't.

-You just did it then.

You stand there and you stand there, and we're a boy band, right?

'That's one pretty strange looking boy band.'

-GIRLS:

-# Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-oh. #

'Check out those moves.'

-GIRLS:

-# Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-oh.

# She makes me want to...

-GIRLS:

-# Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-oh. #

'Now they've mastered the moves,

'it's time for JLS's pre-gig warm up routine.

-'It's totally fake, of course.'

-Stop.

You make me wanna bounce, bounce, bounce, stop.

# You make me wanna... #

'What do they look like?

'But they seem to be buying it, so let's crank it up a notch.

'Barry, please introduce them to the infamous JLS vase.'

There's a story behind this, on the night they went to the X Factor,

they were nervous, they didn't know what was going to happen

and Aston's mum went out and bought them some flowers.

They didn't have a vase, so she went back out and found this vase.

-They did so well that night, they came...

-Second.

Second. Then they made a record

and Aston just happened to have this in his bag

when they made that record and that record went to number one.

Every concert they do, the concerts you've been to before,

this has been in their dressing room.

It's now priceless to JLS. Have a feel of it, be careful.

It's a very nice vase.

Come and have a look at some of the other stuff.

The show has changed a little bit from last time.

'Keep an eye on dad.

'Remember, he's in on this.'

SMASH!

-What have you done? Man, oh, man.

-I just tripped.

-Dear me.

We'll have to go and get a dustpan and brush or something.

Don't go anywhere near it, you'll cut yourself. I'll be back in a minute.

-Did you really just do that?

-You've broken their precious vase.

-Dad!

-I stubbed my toe. I think I've broken my toe.

-I feel so bad.

'You should feel bad, you're wearing JLS's clothes,

'you've eaten their special chocolate,

'and now their precious vase has smashed

'and there is worse to come.'

Um, right, I've got some good news and bad news.

The good news is that JLS are here,

and they're going to come in here now.

Listen, the trouble is I don't have permission to be in here.

I'm sorry, I've lied to you. I think we should hide or something.

If they come in here I'll lose my job. Just hide, quick, quick.

Hide behind the table or something.

Don't make a noise, my job's on the line.

Please. Jamie, I'm so sorry.

'Here come JLS. Remember, they're in on the wind up too.'

-That journey was so long, man.

-I'm so tired. Tired, man.

Where is the chocolates at?

Who's been eating my chocolate?

Someone's been trying on our clothes.

-Who smashed the vase?

-Oh, man.

-Where's the security guard.

Someone's been in this room, who...

'Come out, come out, wherever you are.'

Listen, I'm not a security guard,

but I came in because I saw these four people in here

and they've been trying your clothes on, the guy smashed your vase.

They're down here.

Do you think that's funny?

One of them's the daughter and I've got photographs of them.

-I've got photographic evidence it was them.

-That's not fair.

-This is my favourite vase.

-I know.

-Someone's taken all of our underwear for the show.

-They're wearing it.

-'I think this has gone far enough.'

-We're only joking, girls.

-This is all a wind up.

-Sam and Mark's Friday Wind-Up.

You guys have just been Smarked!

'Jess, Molly and Rebecca have been well and truly Smarked.

'Thanks, JLS.'

Time now for a quick hit.

Take one fake photo booth and a rubber snake

and this is what you get.

SHE SCREAMS

THEY SCREAM

THEY SCREAM

THEY SCREAM

THEY SCREAM

THEY SCREAM AND LAUGH

-We are mean.

-We are, indeed.

There's just time for one more of our favourite hidden camera pranks,

so it's over to Liverpool, for another game of In Yer Face.

-Let's see if Mark can level the scores.

-Probably not.

-I'm taking Ellie.

-And I'm taking Abi.

Let's get ready to rumble.

Round One, Gas Man.

Can these two stinkers pretend they're working

for a completely made up gas company? First up, Sam.

Gas man, gas man, gas man. Yay!

It's one of my favourite ones. This will be brilliant.

-You smell gas, you know who to call.

-OK, here are the rules.

You're a gas man investigating a gas leak

that's been reported in the area.

I want you to knock on Abi's door.

When Abi answers, ask her if she has smelt any gas

and you must say the word gas five times during the conversation.

-Do you reckon you can do that?

-I'll try my best.

If Abi does say, "Are you Sam from Sam and Mark,"

it is a very early bath for you, my friend.

Do your thing, gas man. What's your accent going to be?

-I think I'm going to go for Welsh.

-Oh, interesting.

Hello, there, I'm from Gas Gas Ltd.

-We've had reports of a gas leak in the area. Have you smelt any gas?

-No.

You haven't. Well, if you do smell any gas,

-please get in touch with Gas Gas Ltd.

-OK.

Thank you very much.

I now work for Gas Gas Ltd.

Well, I'm going to work for Gas Gas Gas Gas Gas Ltd.

Your turn, what's your accent going to be?

-LIVERPUDLIAN ACCENT:

-Eh, have you smelt any gas?

-Right.

So, Sam leads one, nowt. Next up, Mark.

OK, Mark, I'm 1-0 up.

I'm through to the next round if she says,

"You're Mark from Sam and Mark," you are out of there.

You watch me do this, this is going to be TV gold.

Remember, you have to say the word gas at least five times.

-Here we go, here we go.

-Excuse me, love.

I'm the gas man from the gas company.

There's been reports of a gas leak in the area recently.

-Have you smelt any gas?

-No.

You've not smelt any gas recently? No, OK.

If you do smell any gas, get on the website.

My website, it's called I've Got Gas, all right?

It's in the phone book, as well. All right?

Are you Mark?

-Who's that?

-Mark from Sam and Mark.

Yes, I am.

-No!

-HE WAILS

-Not in the first go.

-First round. What a fool.

That's the first time anybody has ever got it first one.

-How are you doing? High-five.

-All right, Mum.

-How are you doing?

I'll high-five you, as well.

That is the shortest day for me, ever.

-Wow, you are rubbish.

-Did you not like me Scouse accent?

Unbelievable scenes. So Sam's the winner.

Let's see how far he can push it in Round Two, Artist.

Can Monsieur Nixon draw a picture of his target without getting caught?

I cannot believe I'm saying this after round number one,

-but well done.

-Thanks, mate.

This is lovely for me now, because I've won.

I can just bask in the glory and enjoy this.

-I'm going to see how far I can take it.

-Lovely, look at you.

-Sorry.

-You look ridiculous.

-Oh, I heard you, I'm just sorry.

Here are the rules.

You are an artist, painting in the park.

But as Abi comes towards you, you need to paint a picture of her

and give it to her.

I'm just so in love with painting, I'm so in love,

-I've done a little picture of you, Mark.

-What's that?

It's you holding up your hands and saying, "I'm rubbish at In Yer Face."

You are the worst artist ever, I hope she gets you on this one.

FRENCH SONG PLAYS

She's looking at you.

Ah, bonjour. Picture?

-OK.

-Bonjour, bonjour.

Tres bien, tres bien.

Stop saying bonjour.

Do it quicker, mate. She's going to suss you out in a second.

Come on.

Come on, Abi, come on.

Tres bien, tres bien.

Surely, surely, you've got to get him.

-Bonjour, you like?

-Yeah.

Ah, tres bien.

"Bonjour, you like."

Thank you.

Oh, yeah. By the way, that was the worst drawing ever.

It really looked bad.

Oh, I am just so good at this.

It's the worst drawing ever.

I genuinely don't know if she knows. I don't think she does.

So, Sam makes it 2-0.

Can he now give an Oscar-winning performance as a female usher?

I'm not talking about the pop star Usher,

I'm talking about people who work in cinema.

Oh, forget it. Let's move on.

-Sam Nixon, you're looking absolutely foxy, may I say.

-Thanks.

-I'm loving the pigtails.

-Are you eating popcorn?

-No.

-You are, aren't you?

-A little bit.

-Brilliant. Enjoy it.

Sam, when Abi comes in, I want you to obviously take her ticket.

Tell her which cinema she needs to go to and I also want you to

get in a certain word that I will give to you at the appropriate time.

-OK.

-Good luck.

-Thank you.

-I'll eat my popcorn now.

-Mate, how are you feeling?

-A bit nervous.

You should do, you look ridiculous.

You're the loser here. Here they come.

Hiya, you all right? How are you doing?

Can I see your tickets, please?

Thank you very much. And it's screen one, OK?

-That's brilliant.

-We need our 3-D glasses, as well.

-Of course, yes.

No worries, no worries.

'The word I want you to get in is potato.'

Oh, potato. I dropped it.

-There's your 3-D glasses.

-Thank you.

And it's the first one on the right, just down there.

-Off you go, there's your ticket. Thank you very much.

-Thanks.

Bye, enjoy the film. Bye.

"Potato, I've dropped it." Are you kidding?

She's coming back, she's coming back.

You look quite familiar, like someone.

Say it, say it, say it.

-Do I? Who's that?

-Somebody off CBBC.

-CBBC, I love CBBC. Really?

I get that a lot. Is it Helen Skelton?

-No, it's Sam, from Sam and Mark.

-Finally!

I've been playing a little game with you all day.

And Mark's been playing the same game with your friend Ellie.

I am so glad you didn't say anything

because that means that I'm the winner!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd