Day Four Secret Life of Boys


Day Four

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Thank you for not telling Mum. You can have anything you want.

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I want you to spend Christmas with us.

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Except that.

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Do you know Father Christmas's mobile?

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No, sorry.

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Fine, then. I want you to take me to the cinema.

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-And I want popcorn.

-That's it?

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You just want me to take you to the cinema?

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I miss you, Matt.

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OK, buddy, cinema and a popcorn.

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A big one, and a fizzy drink.

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You've got it. Remember, you can't tell Mum about Christmas.

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Mm-mmf.

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So, the ginger snaps didn't work,

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Aunt Corey still hasn't un-cancelled the trip,

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so I have to be way more annoying.

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"Hi, I'm Eunice the elf.

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"What are you doing? What are you doing now?

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"Now? Now? Now? Now? What about now? Now? Now?

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"I'm Eunice the elf."

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They'll fly here just to rip her out of my hand.

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Hey, Ethan, wanted to introduce you to someone.

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Is it another girl?

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Haven't you done enough already, bringing Penny into my life?

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RECORDER TOOTS

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"Hey, what are you up to, huh? What are you doing?"

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Ginger, can you put that monster down?

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I'm trying to learn this instrument and it's already enough of a pain.

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"Is that a recorder?

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"Oh, I can play the recorder, listen."

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SHE SCREECHES

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Ginger, can we talk later? I'm prepping for my next Robbie Live.

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"No, no, don't hang up, I have

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"so many more annoying things to say."

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-See ya.

-No...

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Right, come on.

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RECORDER TOOTS TUNELESSLY

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Ugh! This sounds worse than Ginger's monster. This is hopeless.

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Last chance.

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So you're skipping Christmas, eh? Wish I could skip it.

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You didn't tell anyone, did you?

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Not yet, but how bad do you want to keep Mum from finding out?

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HE GROANS

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Ethan, mate, are you seriously blackmailing me during Christmas?

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That's what you get for spending it with Tabitha's family.

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She'll probably break up with you in front of her nan.

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I have a sousaphone. Get in.

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Now I have to get in.

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Erm...

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Argh!

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CRASHING AND HONKING

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Fine, Ethan, what do you want?

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I need cupcakes, red velvet with pink icing, dozens of them.

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Like the one I made you for Penny's birthday? I thought you two...

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-Just get me the cupcakes.

-I'm not making dozens. I'll make one.

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OK, but put it in a nice box.

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No problem. Secret handshake?

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Such a goblin.

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Hard part done.

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Now to play the beast.

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SOUSAPHONE HONKS TUNELESSLY

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Just a moment.

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IT HONKS

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I know what it is, I know what it is.

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This is heavy.

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Sousa time.

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IT HONKS TUNELESSLY

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Argh!

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I think I need a break.

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"What are you up to, Matty?

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"Cooking something you learned to cook out your cooking school

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"for people who cook?"

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-"How's Tabitha?"

-Ginger, it's almost midnight.

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What is going on with you right now?

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I'm mad you guys cancelled your trip.

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I'm trying to annoy you until you change your minds.

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-Ginger, that plan is awful.

-Yeah, and it hasn't been working too well.

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OK, I need to go before you pick that doll up again.

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She might be in my nightmares tonight.

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Wait, can I ask you for some advice? I'm having a bit of boy trouble.

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You're making it sound like you have a boyfriend.

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-Well, I do.

-What?!

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-"His name is Noah."

-Argh!

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