Team Clan Do The Dare Devil

How far would you dare to go to win a prize for your family?

Would you do this?

This?

Or even this?

I'm the Dare Devil and it's time to push another team to their limits.

SCREAMS

# A family I find they dream of a prize

# On courage they draw with hope in their eyes

# All they need do is face each of my dares

# There's revulsion, embarrassment and heart-pounding scares

# So of wishes, wants and temptation beware

# For the Dare Devil waits with a devilish dare. #

HE CACKLES

HE GROWLS

Ah, at last, who has the mirror delivered today?

An all-girl set-up, how gross. Who is they?

What a peculiar way of walking, Aimee.

And who's this tying their shoelaces?

Ah, it's Isla.

Safety first, eh, Isla? I'd hate for you to have a trip.

All right, let's see what grown-up-lings we have.

Aimee's mum, Claire.

And who's this on the phone?

Ah, it's Isla's mum.

What's that, she doesn't like heights?

I'll bear that in mind.

And finally, godmother Marie.

She's a bit of a live one.

Very well, it's dare time.

Ah, yes, here they come.

Bah!

Hello, Celts! Did you like my surprise?

-No, who are you?

-You may well ask.

Round these parts I'm known as the Lothian Lizard, but you can call me

T to the H, to the E, to the D, to the A, to the R, to the...

-I'm called The Dare Devil.

-The Dare Devil?

-The very same.

I'm here to offer you the chance to win an accolade of untold riches.

Want to see?

This is my precious medal of championes,

forged in the fires of Kingston upon Hull.

You want it?

Hey, get your filthy paws off.

If you want the gold - it's not gold -

then all you must do is complete a few harmless, devilish dares.

Now, listen closely.

There are three devilish dares and three doubloons to be won.

Isla and Aimee must decide which grown-up-ling does which dare.

-BOTH:

-Dare devil, dare devil, we dare...

I'll give them one doubloon to get them started

because if someone is too scared to carry out a dare,

they can use a doubloon to buy their way out,

but someone must always take their place.

The more doubloons won means more time for Isla and Aimee

when they face my dreaded Chambers of Bravery in a bid to tip

the Scales of Destiny and claim their prize.

So, Isla and Aimee, by what insipid name shall your team be known?

Team Clan Do!

Now it's time for dare number one. What will it be?

Let us consult the Scroll of Secrets.

THEY GASP

This ancient scroll holds the clue to what the first dare might be.

Aimee, you read it loud and clear, but remember,

the devil is in the detail.

What could that mean?

Climbing or pulling something?

Definitely something up high when there's ropes.

It could be going down as well, though.

All right, then, Aimee and Isla, it's time for you to decide

which of your grown-up-lings will undertake our first devilish dare.

Will they choose the mum,

the godmother

or will the other mum be first? Let's see.

-BOTH:

-Dare Devil, Dare Devil, we dare...

-ISLA:

-My mum!

The other mum, you have been chosen for our first challenge.

What's that? Oh, very well, make it quick.

Now, come on, we must depart.

THEY GASP

Ah yes, the industrial trappings of a former shipyard.

It's this heavy-duty lifting system that dominates the skyline

that has inspired our first dare, a dare I like to call

No Crane, No Pain.

So, the other mum,

for this dare you'll be taking part in a lovely wordsearch.

The letters you'll need are hanging from a rope attached to this crane.

If it's all a bit too scary, you can play your doubloon

and wriggle out of trouble.

-No, I'll give it a go.

-You'll give it a go, jolly good.

Then, here's what you need to know.

To pass this dare, the other mum must confront a terrifying abseil

from the top of this crane.

15 storeys high.

There are five letter clues on offer, stashed in these tubes.

The more she collects,

the better her chance of cracking my puzzle, if she makes it down.

Terrified. I don't even want to look down.

-THEY WHOOP

-Go on, Mum!

-Go on, Claire!

A 40-metre drop stands between the other mum and success.

Can she overcome her nerves?

Well, it looks like the other mum is ready on top of the crane.

Three, two, one, go!

-Go on, Claire!

-Come on, Claire!

-Go on, Mum!

-And she's off.

-That's it.

-THEY CHEER

Oh, this isn't great.

THEY CHEER

The other mum's made it to the first capsule, 30 metres up.

OK, I've got it.

She must now free the clue without dropping it.

-Has she got it?

-THEY CHEER

-Right, next one, here I come.

-Come on, Claire.

-Come on.

Oh, I can't look down. Oh!

The other mum is looking nervy, but she's made it to capsule number two.

Oh, oh!

That's two letters down and three to go.

Ah! ah, oh!

The other mum's on a roll, collecting capsule three.

Got it!

That's three down.

Oh, it's windy!

And in blustery conditions, number four.

-Yeah!

-THEY CHEER

Just one more needed for the set.

-Oh, oh.

-That's you, that's you!

THEY CHEER

Well, that's the last of the five letters.

Get me on the ground, get me on the ground!

Very impressive, the other mum.

You will now have one minute to open the letters and use them

to complete this word puzzle.

-Are you ready?

-Yep.

-Then, let's go.

-D, I've got D, I've got D.

-No, no, D there, D there.

-I can't get it out.

-Yes, there's a V.

-I can't get this one out.

-Devilish Dare.

-Quick, put the other one in.

-Devilish Dare!

-Devilish Dare!

Well, that's it, but let's see if you've got the right one.

Yes, you have.

That means that you have passed the dare and won yourself a doubloon.

-Bah!

-Yeah!

It was really, really scary.

The first bit, when I went over the edge, was the worst

but then once we got into it, it got much better.

I thought she did a really good job of getting all the letters.

And it was really cool cos it was really high

and really scary-looking.

They now have...

All right, Team Clan Do,

the time has come for our second dastardly dare

but what could it be? Let us consult the Scroll of Secrets.

Isla, you read aloud these words of wisdom

but do remember,

the devil is in the detail.

What could that mean?

It's water, isn't it?

Oh, it might be sharks.

Very well, then, Aimee and Isla, it's time for you to announce

which of your grown-up-lings will undertake this devilish dare.

Will they choose the mum this time,

the other mum again or is it the godmother's turn?

-BOTH:

-Dare Devil, Dare Devil, we dare...

-AIMEE:

-My mum.

The mum, you are the chosen one this time.

Come on, there's no time to lose, we... Oh, one minute.

Well, welcome back, good trip?

Yes? Oh, yes.

Anyway, we must depart.

Ah, smell that crisp morning air,

perfect weather for a breakfast stroll, don't you find?

In fact, it's this locale that has inspired our next dare,

a dare I like to call

Goldishocks and the Three Scares!

Hello, Goldishocks, nice hair.

My friends, the three bears, have gone for a walk and left us

their delicious bowls of porridge.

You'll have to eat them all up.

I should warn you, the three bears like to add

special ingredients to their porridge.

Get your spoon ready, woman, here are the deets.

To pass this dare, the mum must face three bowls of porridge, each

with a mysteriously devilish topping - one too hot, one too cold

and one just about right.

And there'll be no nibbling,

I need to see a good mouthful or the doubloon stays put.

All right, the mum,

are you ready to take a gulp of our first delightful dish?

-Yes.

-All right, then. Voila!

This is Daddy Bear's porridge with an eye-watering chunk

of Scotch Bonnet chilli in the middle.

Spoon at the ready, the mum.

Let's see if the porridge is too hot for you.

That's it, grasp the nettle.

Just that cheeky little fella in the middle.

That'll do for us, to pass this dare.

Yes, with or without porridge, it's up to you.

There we go.

Chompety-chomp.

Yes, some signs of distress beginning to appear on her face.

Yes, yes, if only that were enough, that waggle of the hand,

to reduce the burning fires in your gums.

-Well, let's see, empty mouth? Very good! She's done it.

-Yeah!

Well done. Are you ready to move on to bowl number two? Excellent.

-Voila. Yes, how delicious.

-Oh, no!

It's Mummy Bear's porridge, nice and chilly.

What she's done, you see,

she's gone to the chilly depths of the ocean to get a fish-eye garnish.

No porridge, just eyeball.

Dig in.

All eyes are on you, the mum.

I have to turn it up the other way.

SHE CRINGES

Yes, it's like half a grape, go on, pop it down.

You can do it, Claire, go on.

-It's fine, it's fine, it's fine.

-It's a grape.

I'm trying, I'm trying.

I'm ready.

-Mmm, yum-yum.

-Get the water, get the water.

-That's it, wash it down.

-Wash it down.

-Take your medicine, that's the thing.

You're doing really, really well.

I hate to think what that eye's going to see.

-THEY CHEER

-Well done.

Congratulations, that's two bowls of porridge down and only one left.

How about that?

Winning the doubloon now rests on this final dastardly dish.

I think it's time to raid the porridge of one Master Baby Bear.

You'll be relieved to hear he likes it just right.

Voila! Yum.

That's right, Baby Bear achieves a certain crunch to his oats

by adding a sprinkling of dung beetles.

Many people add raisins,

but Baby Bear has grown accustomed to the finer things in life.

Come on.

THEY LAUGH

Come on, Claire, you can do it.

Nothing compared to the fish eye.

I think this is worse.

Come on, Claire, come on, you've done the hardest part.

In it goes, it's the Dung Beetle Express. Choo-choo!

Stop saying dung beetle, stop saying dung beetle.

I won't mention dung beetle.

Go, Claire, amazing. That's fantastic!

Crunchy, crunchy, crunchy!

Just swallow it.

Well done, the mum, you've completed this delicious meal

and you've won another doubloon for your team.

THEY CHEER

The fish eye was disgusting...

and the dung beetle is still in my teeth.

I could never have eaten dung beetles, ever,

it's just way too disgusting.

Bah, they've done it again and that means they have...

All right, Clan Dos, it's time for our third dastardly dare.

Let us consult once again the Scroll of Secrets.

Aimee, it's for you to take control once again.

Read it loud and proud but do remember,

the devil is in the detail.

What could that mean?

I think it might be, you've to catch something.

Maybe there's something in the gloop that you need to try and catch

when it's coming down, like, within the gloop.

All right, Isla and Aimee, the time has come for you to announce

which of your grown-up-lings will take on our third dastardly dare.

-BOTH:

-Dare Devil, Dare Devil, we dare Marie.

-Yes!

-The godmother, well, it is your turn after all.

Anyway, it's time to depart.

Ah, yes, the door has brought us to the Scottish castle

of a distant cousin of mine, Dare McDevil,

and it's his castle cleaning habits that have inspired our next dare,

a dare I like to call

Tower Shower.

Now, the godmother, we've arrived here on the very day Dare McDevil

undertakes his kitchen clear out.

Very shortly, he will jettison his unwanted kitchen scraps

from the top of that tower.

I want you to catch as much of the slop that comes over the wall

-as possible.

-I can handle it.

That's what we want to hear. Here's the deets.

Dare McDevil will be releasing

three bucket-loads of gut-wrenching kitchen waste

and the godmother's job is to catch as much of it as possible.

If she can collect enough from three downpours to fill my bucket,

then the team will snare another doubloon.

Well, the godmother, you seem suitably attired.

First up, a rather large bucket of fish slop.

Let's begin.

McDevil, you old dog, time to jettison that fishy goodness!

SCREAMS AND SHOUTS

Yes, I'd say she's being a tad reactive.

My goodness me, that's it, catch as much as you can.

Are you all right, the godmother?

-I'm peachy.

-Peachy, well, that's good.

Let's put what you've got into my bucket and we'll go again.

Not exactly the best start.

Well, the godmother, this time, it's rancid milk.

-Oh.

-Yes, that will make a lovely cocktail. Are you ready?

-Mm-hm.

Then drop that downpour!

-Here it comes.

-THEY SHOUT

Yes, I can't say her technique has changed very much.

That's it. That's it, good woman.

Yes... Lots of expression of the feelings,

but I wonder if there's much catching of the goop?

There's not even enough for tea.

Remember, she needs a full bucket if she is to pass this dare.

OK, the godmother, for this round

it's everyone's favourite kitchen stink - bin juice.

McDevil, drop your slop.

THEY SHOUT ENCOURAGEMENT

Here it comes. That's it, be bold, woman.

That's it.

Well, it's impossible to tell how she did there.

She was dancing around like a mad thing.

Now, if you will tip your final offering into my bucket

we'll see if you make it past the fill line, off you go.

Well, I think we can all see you've fallen woefully short.

No doubloon for you, Team Clan Phew.

This dare was just terrible.

The smell was horrendous and the milk was the worst.

I think Marie did really, really well because it was a very

hard challenge and all the stuff that was coming out was disgusting.

That's it for the grown-ups, let's see how they've done.

Team Clan Do have passed two of their dares.

Add that to the doubloon I gave them

means they have three doubloons,

giving Aimee and Isla 180 seconds as they head back to my castle.

Come on.

Ah, yes, my wonderful castle. We're about to head down to my dungeon.

Are you ready to descend?

-ALL:

-Yes.

Well, that's good to hear because you're about to come face to face

with my Chambers of Bravery 3.0. Come on.

To win the prize and escape my dungeon,

Team Clan Do must try to open all of the Treasure Tanks

by playing my devilish games.

-In a moment of weakness...

-HE GROWLS

..I opened the first tank to give them a head start.

The more tanks they open,

the easier it will be in the final pitch-black chamber

to grab enough doubloons to tip the Scales Of Destiny

and claim the glory.

Yeah, welcome to my dungeon, Team Clan Do.

Now, listen closely.

If one of you doesn't want to do a dare or it all gets a bit too much,

then you must shout, "Stop", and someone can take your place

although you will lose ten seconds off the clock. Comprende?

-BOTH:

-Uh-huh.

-Very good.

Now, it's time for you, Isla and Aimee,

to face our first terrifying chamber,

the awful Organ of Halvor.

To open the tank,

the tangled notes of the Organ of Halvor must be solved.

Whilst one plays the notes written on my music sheet,

the other must confront terrifying beasts

as they struggle to find the same tune on their keys.

All right, who of you will face the beasts?

-Me.

-You, Isla, your time will start when you take off the cloth.

-In you go.

-THEY SHOUT ENCOURAGEMENT

What creatures await Team Clan Do?

It's the creepy giant millipedes.

Start the clock.

Are you ready, Isla?

SHE PLAYS CHORDS

Aimee has played the tune written on my music sheet.

This is the sequence Isla has to find on her mixed up notes.

Do the first one again.

-Ooh!

-BOTH:

-That's it.

That one, so it's that one.

They've found the first note.

-Oh, no, sorry.

-Oh, it's difficult. It's difficult, isn't it?

So it's that one, that one.

Isla's found the second note.

Here's where the others are.

No, other one, other one.

I can't get to it.

Just put your hand in, Isla.

Right, right, do it, do it, do it.

It looks like they've found the sequence.

Other one.

-Out you come.

-THEY CHEER

Well, Isla, how was that,

fiddling around with all those giant millipedes?

-Scary.

-Scary, I'll bet.

You've got two Tanks of Treachery open

and 135 seconds left on the clock.

That's a very good position as we go to our second terrifying chamber,

the awful Circles of Solocles.

The final tank will open

when the Circles of Solocles are correctly aligned,

but the code to the sequence is hidden in my Dome of Doom.

To reveal the symbols, the lights must be illuminated

and the terrifying creatures must be faced.

Well, Aimee and Isla, both of you must enter chamber number two,

but only one of you can volunteer to face the Dome of Doom.

Who will it be?

-Me.

-You, Aimee. Very well.

And what ghastly guardians do you think are awaiting you in the dome?

-Something like frogs or snakes.

-Something like frogs or snakes.

Snakes it is.

You have 135 seconds left on the clock.

Your time will start when your head enters the dome.

-In you go.

-THEY SHOUT ENCOURAGEMENT

-Come on, Aimee, it's OK.

-That's it, she's through. Time starts now.

-Right, OK.

-It's an upside-down skull.

-OK. Wait a minute, wait,

upside-down skull. There is no upside-down skull.

There is, there is, there is, Isla.

My snakes have Aimee all in a dither.

Quickly, Isla, please.

-I can't-I can't find it, Aimee.

-It's an upside-down skull with a bone.

-Right, Aimee, there's no upside-down one.

-No, no, it's not upside-down.

-What is it?

-It's got a bone.

-OK.

But the bone is the wrong way round.

-Right, OK, second one.

-It's a snake with two heads,

-a snake with two heads.

-A snake with two heads, OK.

-A head on either side?

-Uh-huh.

-OK, next one.

-And then the triangle with the eye...

-That's one minute remaining.

Is it just a normal triangle with a point at the top

-and the eye in the middle?

-Uh-huh.

-I think I've got it.

-No, it can't be.

-Right, OK.

That's not right, Aimee and Isla. Keep going.

It's a triangle and it's... It's an upside-down triangle...

-Upside-down triangle.

-..with an eye through it.

With an eye in it, Isla.

The middle and bottom circles are right

but the top symbol is still wrong.

-What is the skull like?

-It's got a bone underneath it,

horizontal bone underneath it.

Aimee has got her horizontal mixed up with her vertical.

-Five, four...

-I don't know what else you can do.

-..three, two...

-I don't know.

-..one. Time's up, out you come.

Well done, Aimee. Well done, girls.

Aimee and Isla failed to align the Circles of Solocles,

which means they only have two Treasure Tanks to plunder

and only the minimum of 60 seconds to do it in

as they end their quest at the Tanks of Treachery.

Well, Team Clan Do, we stand before our final chamber,

but only one of you may enter, who will it be?

-Me.

-You, Aimee, very well.

You have 60 seconds on the clock to find enough doubloons and remember,

you can shout, "Stop" at any time.

-In you go.

-THEY SHOUT ENCOURAGEMENT

All right, Aimee, your time starts in three, two, one, go!

-Go on, Aimee!

-Get your hands in.

-Hands right in, hands right in.

-Get as many as you can.

-Eurgh, eurgh!

-Never mind the goo.

Remember, Aimee can't see a thing

as she plunges her hands into the unknown.

-Well done, Aimee, you're doing brilliantly.

-Keep going, keep going.

Just, like, feel out the coin shape.

-Right towards you.

-That was another one.

-Brilliant, Aimee, well done.

Yes, she's doing rather well. That's 30 seconds, Aimee.

-Go, go, go, go, go, scoop up as much as you can.

-Scoop up, like, loads.

Get your hands right in, right in.

THEY SHOUT ENCOURAGEMENT

That's it.

That's ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one.

-Time's up, out you come.

-THEY CHEER

Welcome back, Aimee. Well, tell us, how did you enjoy yourself in the

total darkness of the Tanks of Treachery?

It was really dark.

Yes, as the phrase "total darkness" very strongly suggests.

All right, then, it's time to face the scales.

EVIL LAUGHTER

Hand over your doubloons.

Yes, that's it, quite a crop there.

-One... Shall we continue? Why not.

-THEY LAUGH

Couple more, maybe a few more.

There's a flicker of movement.

Aimee, you've done it, you have defeated me,

and that means I must give you your medals of championes.

Well, get out of my sight. Go on, I never want to see you again.

This is a bleak day.

-BOTH:

-Dare Devil, you've been Clan done!

THEY CHEER

I'm losing my touch. I need a holiday. What's that?

Caravanning? M62 on a Bank Holiday Monday?

Well, all right, but we'll share the driving.

I'll take the wheel, you do the pedals.

Anywho, fearless children and adults beware,

for the Dare Devil waits with a devilish dare.