Amba's Army The Dare Devil


Amba's Army

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How far would you dare to go to win a prize for your family?

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Would you do this?

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This?

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Or even this?

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SCREAMING

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I'm the Dare Devil, and it's time to push another team to their limits.

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SCREAMING

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Do not try this at home.

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# A family I find They dream of a prize

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# On courage they draw with hope in their eyes

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# All they need do is face each of my dares

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# There's revulsion, embarrassment and heart-pounding scares

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# So of wishes, wants and temptation beware

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# For the Dare Devil waits

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# With a devilish dare. #

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Ah, some humans to dare!

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What on Earth are they doing?

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What's that, the dad?

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A film, Daredevil: The Movie?

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Excellent idea!

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And who's next?

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Ah, Amba. What's that?

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Yes, I hope she's scared of the dark too.

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Who's next?

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Big sister, Riana.

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Scared of creepy crawlies?

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Interesting.

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And what adult-lings do we have?

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Ah, the mum.

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Well, yes, I will talk to the hand.

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And who else have we got?

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Aunty Amisha.

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This lot'll do nicely. To Croydon!

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Shoo, shoo! Go away!

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THEY GASP

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Gone With The Wind!

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Who are you?

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Good question. Some call me the Fourth Chipmunk.

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Others know me as the Delicate Eye Area.

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But you can call me the Dare Devil.

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I'm here to offer you the chance to win an accolade of untold riches.

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This is my precious Medal Of Championes,

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forged in the fires of Kingston-upon-Hull.

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Wanty? Uh-uh!

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If you want the gold - it's, er, not gold -

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then all you must do is complete a few harmless, devilish dares.

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Listen carefully.

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There are three devilish dares and three doubloons to be won.

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Amba and Riana must decide which grown-up-ling does which dare.

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BOTH: Dare Devil, Dare Devil, we dare...

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I'll give them one doubloon to get them started,

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because if someone is too scared to carry out a dare,

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they can use a doubloon to buy their way out.

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But someone must always take their place.

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The more doubloons won means more time for Amba and Riana

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when they face my dreaded Chambers Of Bravery in a bid to tip

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the scales of destiny and claim their prize.

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Now, tell me, when brave people cry out in terror

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for your team to come and help them, what name shall they cry?

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ALL: Amba's Army!

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All right. Time for devilish dare number one.

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Let us consult the Scroll Of Secrets.

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This ancient scroll holds the clue to what the first dare might be.

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Amba, read it loud and clear, but remember,

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the devil is in the detail!

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What could that possibly mean?

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I'm thinking a glass...

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-Glass box.

-Maybe, yeah. Somewhere where you can't escape.

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All right.

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Amba and Riana, the time has come for you to decide which

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of your grown-up-lings will undertake our first devilish dare.

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Will they choose the mum, the dad,

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or maybe Aunty Amisha's first in line?

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Both: Dare Devil, Dare Devil, we dare Dad.

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Dad! You are the first to be chosen.

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It's time to depart.

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Ah, yes.

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The door has brought us

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to one of your gilded temples of consumption, a shopping centre.

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It's got escalators, alligators, and elevators.

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Well, maybe not alligators.

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But it's the elevators that have inspired our next dare,

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a dare I like to call Oops And Downs.

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Well, the dad,

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you're going to be travelling in this glass-fronted lift.

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I've got a series of embarrassing antics for you to complete

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to win the doubloon for your team.

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-You don't want to play the doubloon and wriggle out of trouble?

-Nah.

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-You'll do the dare?

-Yeah, yeah.

-Excellent!

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Then here's what you need to know.

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The dad must face three cringeworthy assignments

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whilst travelling up and down in this lift.

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To pass the dare, he must keep a straight face each time

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and convince his unsuspecting targets that he's for real.

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OK, Riana, time to let rip with this first dare.

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OK, Dad.

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You have to let off a trump machine and say, "I'm really, really sorry.

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"It must be the beans."

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-LAUGHTER

-Oh! OK.

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Time to get dad into position.

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All right, the doors are closing and up he goes.

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Now he just needs a punter.

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Third, please.

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Lift: Doors closing.

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That's it. He's got some victims in there with him.

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Trump machine ready!

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PHRRT!

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Oh, I'm really sorry. It must be the beans.

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Go on, the dad! One more blast.

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PHRRRT!

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Oh, dear. Sorry.

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She's heard the noise.

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She's not waiting for the smell to catch up with her.

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Well, he's passed wind and he's passed the first one!

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ALL: Yay!

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All right, Amba, it's time for you to handle the next one.

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You need to sing You Raise Me Up in an opera style.

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OK.

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Hope you've brought your singing voice, the dad.

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-Come on, Dad, you can do this.

-Come on.

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AMBA GIGGLES

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# You raise me up

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# So I could stand on mountains... #

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I wonder what his companion makes of it all.

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# You raise me up

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# So I can walk on stormy seas... #

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Oh, no!

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# You raise me up... #

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All right, the dad. You can stop now. You've passed!

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All right, Riana, over to you.

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OK, Dad, you've got to fall asleep and snore loudly.

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He can do that, definitely.

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Excellent.

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The dad needs to hold his nerve on this final embarrassing

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challenge to land his team a doubloon.

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ALL: Come on, Dad! You can do it!

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There he goes, his head is lolling.

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HE SNORTS

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HE SNORES

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-He's really snoring!

-He's nodding off!

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HE SNORES

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Has the shopper smelt a rat?

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No, the dad's got away with!

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Excellent!

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Well, the dad, you've passed all your challenges

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-and won a doubloon for your team!

-ALL: Yay!

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Curses!

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I'm never going in a lift again. That was nerve-racking.

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# You raise me up... #

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The funniest bit was when the people were looking at him

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and laughing at him and thought that he was weird.

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They now have two doubloons!

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All right, Amba's Army, it's time for us

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to undertake our second dastardly dare!

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Let us once again consult the Scroll Of Secrets.

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Riana, it's your turn to bring

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your word pipe into action this time,

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but remember the devil is in the detail!

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What could that mean?

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Something going up your arms? I think slithery snails.

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All right, Amba and Riana, it's time for you to decide

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which of your grown-up-lings will undertake our second devilish dare.

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Will they choose the mum, Aunty Amisha, or the dad again?

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Let's see!

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BOTH: Daredevil, daredevil, we dare Aunty Amisha.

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Aunty Amisha, you have been chosen for this slithery dare.

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All right then, it's time to depart.

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Ah, yes, the door has brought us to a large,

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harmless-looking tepee in south-east England.

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Tepees were the traditional habitat of the South East Englandian tribe

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and it's their bath time that has inspired our next dare,

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a dare I like to call Tub O' Snakes.

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Tell me, Aunty Amisha, are you a fan of bath time?

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-Oh, yes.

-Yes, yes, lovely and relaxing, eh?

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Well, it shouldn't be!

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Where I'm from, we fill it with snakes. How does that sound?

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-Terrifying!

-Terrifying. Here's what you need to know.

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The Aunty's heart-pounding challenge

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is to face a dreadful dip in my bathtub

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whilst a series of increasingly large

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and slithery snakes are placed on her!

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During three 30-second rounds,

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she must keep these ink pointers

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touching the middle of these two targets.

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If she accumulates more than 20 fail points in total

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by losing control of the pointers, then the doubloon is mine!

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This is my old friend, Smiley Bobs.

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He's been reading Snake-Handling For Beginners

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and thought he'd give it a go.

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You made it past the front cover, didn't you? Did you?

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Oh, well, we've got to get on.

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OK, Aunty Amisha, markers on the marks.

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Smiley Bobs, let's begin filling that bath.

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Lovely! First up, we've got a couple of corn snakes.

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-Come on!

-Come on, Amisha.

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And a couple of milk snakes.

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All right, start the time!

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That's it. The sand is slipping away.

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Yes, that milk snake is very curious.

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It's gone right around your arm.

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Go on, you can do it.

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There's one burrowing just under your other armpit there.

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Ah, those steady markers mean she's not dropping points.

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-Five, four...

-Come on!

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-You're doing really well!

-..three, two, one.

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That's the 30 seconds. Well done!

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The Aunty's only picked up two fail points,

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meaning she still has 18 in the bank.

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All right, Aunty Amisha, our next guests,

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two medium-sized pythons.

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Smiley Bobs, if you will.

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-Stay still.

-Yeah, stay still.

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-Stay still!

-Yes, my goodness me!

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Stay really still.

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I wouldn't like to see the big fellas.

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Come on, you can do this!

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OK, Aunty Amisha, markers on the marks. Time starts now!

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-Oh!

-Stay there, Amisha.

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-Think nice thoughts.

-The seconds are ticking by.

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-Come on!

-Yes, they seem to have settled down.

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What do they feel like?

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A ton of weight on me.

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Yes, there's quite a lot of weight to a python, eh?

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Despite the best efforts of my snakes,

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still hardly a flicker on those targets.

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-Are they slimy?

-They're not near you.

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-Five, four, three...

-Just stay there.

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..two, one. That's it! 30 seconds. Well done!

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Aunty Amisha's picked up just one more fail point,

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leaving her with 17 still to play with.

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Smiley Bobs, time for the biggest snake you've got!

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Well, Aunty Amisha, be assured,

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we've saved the beast till last!

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-This is a reticulated python.

-Stay still, Amisha!

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-Really still!

-You're doing really well!

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No, no, no, no, don't move, don't move!

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OK, Aunty Amisha, markers on the marks, time starts now!

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-Stay still!

-Stay really still!

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Try and stay still if you possibly can.

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-Come on!

-Don't move!

-That's it.

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-Come on!

-That's it. Despite your family's excited cries...

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This is more like it! It's snake spaghetti!

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Yes, he's very curious about you, isn't he?

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All right, five, four, three, two, one.

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-Yes, she's done it! Well done!

-THEY CHEER

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Well done!

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Those targets are covered in scribbling this time.

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But how many fail points does this mess give the Aunty?

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Your limit was 20 points and I hate to say it, but you got 17.

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That's well within and means you passed the dare!

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Oh, Smiley Bobs, don't be like that. We'll get them next time.

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I'm quite happy with myself that I managed to get through that.

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At the beginning, I didn't think I would.

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We're really proud of Aunty Amisha.

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We didn't know she would pass. She's really scared of snakes.

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She did really well and we got a doubloon, so yay!

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Ah! They've done it again!

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That means they have three doubloons!

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Right, Amba's Army,

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let us, for the last time, consult the Scroll Of Secrets.

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Amba, you read this one out one more time,

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but remember, the devil is in the detail.

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What could that possibly mean?

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-You'll have some balloons and maybe...

-Some kind of outfit.

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-Armour?

-Maybe you've got to protect the balloons from popping?

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The time has come, Riana and Amba,

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for you to decide which of your grown-up-lings

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will undertake our final dastardly dare.

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BOTH: Dare Devil, Dare Devil, we dare Mum.

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Mum, it is your turn after all and fair's fair.

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Time for us to make like a bread truck and get our buns out of here.

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Ah, the door has brought us to my old medieval playground.

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I used to frolic here as a lad with a young King Arthur.

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It's this sort of medieval shenanigan

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that has inspired our final dare.

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A dare I like to call Fright Knight.

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The mum, you're probably wondering what we're doing in this field.

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-Yeah.

-Yeah. Well, this turf ain't made for walking,

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it's made for jousting.

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And that's just what you're going to do!

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This is all you need to know.

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The mum is going to be taking part in a fearsome jousting contest

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against wicked Sir Tin Head

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and his ferocious steed, Robert.

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-Bring it on!

-I'm entrusting her with 10 of my party balloons

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which Sir Tin will target during a series of medieval jousts.

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To pass the dare, the mum must have

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at least three balloons left at the end.

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Oh, and if Sir Tin Head should pop my black balloon,

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then it's an automatic fail.

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Time for round one!

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Let the games begin!

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-Go, go, go, go!

-Come on, Mum!

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SHOUTS OF ENCOURAGEMENT

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Excellent! That's one balloon popped.

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If any of you do have a suit of armour

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and a medieval lance knocking about, don't try this at home.

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Round two!

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Have at thee!

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-Come on!

-There he goes.

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A good turn. That's it.

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Yes! She managed to evade his thrust.

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The mum's doing annoyingly well.

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All right, here we go with round three!

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SHOUTS OF ENCOURAGEMENT

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Come on! Come on!

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That's it. Well, he's got another one.

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Sir Tin Head's aim was true and it's another balloon burst!

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Argh!

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Brave Sir Tin Head has popped two of the mum's balloons so far,

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but she's protected that all-important black one.

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Atchoo! Sorry, everyone. Bit of a mess.

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Round four!

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-Protect that balloon!

-Come on!

-Come on!

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SHOUTS OF ENCOURAGEMENT

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Ah, he touched her, but he didn't pop anything.

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Well done again, the mum.

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The mum's guarded her balloons well so far,

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but can she survive one final duel?

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We've got to keep that black balloon intact!

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R-a-a-a-ar!

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SHOUTS OF ENCOURAGEMENT

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Yes, that's it.

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THEY GROAN

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Well, we didn't see that coming,

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but he managed to pop the black balloon.

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I'm sorry, Amba's Army,

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but you've lost the dare and the doubloon is mine.

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Ah-ha-ha-ha!

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I'm gutted. I really wanted to win that for my team

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and I really thought I got it there.

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He swept it right from under me.

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We thought she had it, we really did. Oh!

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Good day, good knight(!)

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That's it for the grown-ups, let's see how they've done!

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Amba's Army have passed two of their three dares,

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earning them two doubloons to add to the one I gave them.

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CHEERING

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That gives Amba and Riana 180 seconds on the clock

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as they head back to my castle!

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Come on!

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Ah, here we are, back at my old castle.

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Now we'll go down to my dark and dismal dungeon.

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Riana and Amba, it's time for you to face up to

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my terrifying Chambers Of Bravery 3.0! Come on!

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To win the prize and escape my dungeon,

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Amba's Army must try and open all of the Treasure Tanks

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by playing my devilish games.

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THEY GROAN

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-Help, please!

-I can't find it!

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In a moment of weakness, I opened the first tank

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-to give them a head start.

-Yes!

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The more tanks they open,

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the easier it will be in the final pitch-black chamber...

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-Argh!

-..to grab enough doubloons to tip the Scales Of Destiny

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and claim the glory!

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Welcome to my dungeon, Amba's Army.

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-Drippy, isn't it?

-It's horrible!

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Listen closely, if one of you doesn't wish to do a challenge,

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or it all gets a bit much, shout, "Stop,"

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and someone can take your place,

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though you will lose 10 seconds off the clock. You understand?

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Very good! All right, Riana and Amba,

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time for you to face our first terrifying chamber,

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The Organ Of Halvor!

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To open the tank, the tangled notes

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of the Organ Of Halvor must be solved.

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Whilst one plays the notes written on my music sheet,

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the other must confront terrifying beasts

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as they struggle to find the same tune on their keys.

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Tell me, Amba and Riana,

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which of you is going to take on this creepy-crawly fiend?

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-I will.

-You will? Brave choice, Riana. All right, in you go.

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-Good luck, girls!

-Come on!

-Come on, Amba!

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What creatures await Amba's Army?

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It's the rats!

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Here we go, time's ticking.

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-Good luck, Riana.

-OK.

-Start playing.

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MUSICAL NOTES

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Amba has played the tune written on my music sheet.

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This is the sequence Riana has to find on her mixed-up notes.

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Do the first one.

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MUSICAL NOTES

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OK.

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Play it again.

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MUSICAL NOTES

0:22:050:22:07

-OK.

-They've found two of the notes.

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Next one.

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MUSICAL NOTES

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And another one.

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MUSICAL NOTES

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-Play them in sequence, let's see if you're right.

-OK.

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MUSICAL NOTES

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It doesn't like me.

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CHEERING

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Well done!

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That's it, you've done it. Stop the clock. Out you come!

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Well done!

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Well, Riana, how was that with the rats nibbling at your fingertips?

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-It was OK.

-It was OK.

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You've got two Tanks Of Treachery open

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and a very respectable 118 seconds left on the clock.

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Plenty of time to confront our next chamber,

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the horrifying Circles Of Solocles!

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The final tank will open

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when the Circles Of Solocles are correctly aligned.

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But the code to the sequence is hidden in my Dome Of Doom.

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To reveal the symbols, the lights must be illuminated

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and the terrifying creatures must be faced!

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All right, Amba and Riana, we're about to enter chamber two.

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One of you and only one must face the creatures

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that guard the dome. Who will it be?

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-Me.

-You, Riana!

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And what creatures do you imagine are waiting for you?

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-Snails?

-Wrong! It's locusts!

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Your time starts when your head pops up into the locust kingdom.

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All right, in you go!

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That's it, Riana, take them in.

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My beasts are giving Riana the shivers.

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Remember, she can swap in an adult,

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but it will cost her 10 seconds off the clock.

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Stop!

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Dare Devil, Dare Devil, I dare Mum.

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The mum, Riana has chosen you to swap in for her. In you go!

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Riana, welcome back.

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I'm curious to see how your mum fares

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as her head enters the Dome Of Doom.

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LAUGHTER

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Start the clock!

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Come on, Mum!

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-Right, Amba, the first one is a triangle.

-OK.

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It's a triangle with, like, an eye shape in the middle.

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-Anything else in it?

-No, just an eye, like an eyeball.

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Has it got dots in it, or...? Is it upside down?

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Yeah. It's a triangle with an eye shape with a dot, yeah. Argh!

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Is it upside down?

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The triangle is upside down.

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That's 30 seconds!

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-OK, the second one is...

-Wait!

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Got it?

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Got it, Amba?

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-OK, a triangle...

-15 seconds remain.

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..with an eye shape. Yeah?

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-Yeah, yeah.

-Next one is a skull with a bone.

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-A skull and a bone.

-OK, skull...

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-Five, four...

-Second one, a skull and a bone.

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-Skull and a bone!

-..three...

-OK, third one is a key!

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-..two...

-Third one is a key?

-Key!

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-..one.

-Just put anything in!

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That's it, your time's up. Out you come, the mum.

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Amba's Army failed to align the Circles Of Solocles,

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so they have just two treasure tanks to plunder

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and only the minimum of 60 seconds

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as they end their quest at the dreaded Tanks Of Treachery!

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Amba, Riana, only one may enter.

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-Who will it be?

-Me.

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Amba, you have 60 seconds left to collect enough doubloons

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to tip the Scales Of Destiny in your favour. In you go!

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All right, Amba, your time starts

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in three, two, one, hunt those doubloons!

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-Go on, Amba!

-You can do it!

0:26:200:26:22

-Put your hands in there!

-Come on!

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-Come on, you can do it!

-I've found two! I think I've found two!

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-Yeah! Good girl!

-Put them in your pouch!

-Go faster!

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Amba can't see anything in the pitch dark,

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so she has no idea what she's putting her hands into.

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I can feel another one, I think!

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All right, well done! Keep going!

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Amba, that's 30 seconds remaining!

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-Ooo, come on!

-You've got 30 seconds!

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Put your hands in there, Amba!

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-I can't find...!

-Any more?

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-Can you find any more?

-I've found one!

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That's ten, nine, eight,

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seven, six, five,

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four, three, two, one.

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-Time's up, Amba, out you come!

-Well done!

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Welcome back to the light, Amba.

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You've come a long way, but will you be heading to freedom with my prize?

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It's time to face the scales.

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EVIL CACKLE

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Tip your doubloons onto the Scale Of Destiny.

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Any more in there? Any more down the back of the sofa?

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Is that it?

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Well, I think we can all see

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that you have failed to defeat me!

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What does that mean you're going to be doing?

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Cleaning your dungeon.

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Cleaning my dungeon for all eternity!

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Off you go, that way!

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Grab a mop on the way, you horrible lot!

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That's it, put a bit of effort into it.

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I want this place clean by dawn, then move onto the east wing.

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What's that? Yes, good idea.

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You crank up the Macarena on the castle sound system

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and I'll prepare a selection of dips.

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Meanwhile, fearless children and adults beware,

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for the Dare Devil awaits with a devilish dare!

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