Amba's Army The Dare Devil

How far would you dare to go to win a prize for your family?

Would you do this?

This?

Or even this?

SCREAMING

I'm the Dare Devil, and it's time to push another team to their limits.

SCREAMING

Do not try this at home.

# A family I find They dream of a prize

# On courage they draw with hope in their eyes

# All they need do is face each of my dares

# There's revulsion, embarrassment and heart-pounding scares

# So of wishes, wants and temptation beware

# For the Dare Devil waits

# With a devilish dare. #

Ah, some humans to dare!

What on Earth are they doing?

What's that, the dad?

A film, Daredevil: The Movie?

Excellent idea!

And who's next?

Ah, Amba. What's that?

Yes, I hope she's scared of the dark too.

Who's next?

Big sister, Riana.

Scared of creepy crawlies?

Interesting.

And what adult-lings do we have?

Ah, the mum.

Well, yes, I will talk to the hand.

And who else have we got?

Aunty Amisha.

This lot'll do nicely. To Croydon!

Shoo, shoo! Go away!

THEY GASP

Gone With The Wind!

Who are you?

Good question. Some call me the Fourth Chipmunk.

Others know me as the Delicate Eye Area.

But you can call me the Dare Devil.

I'm here to offer you the chance to win an accolade of untold riches.

This is my precious Medal Of Championes,

forged in the fires of Kingston-upon-Hull.

Wanty? Uh-uh!

If you want the gold - it's, er, not gold -

then all you must do is complete a few harmless, devilish dares.

Listen carefully.

There are three devilish dares and three doubloons to be won.

Amba and Riana must decide which grown-up-ling does which dare.

BOTH: Dare Devil, Dare Devil, we dare...

I'll give them one doubloon to get them started,

because if someone is too scared to carry out a dare,

they can use a doubloon to buy their way out.

But someone must always take their place.

The more doubloons won means more time for Amba and Riana

when they face my dreaded Chambers Of Bravery in a bid to tip

the scales of destiny and claim their prize.

Now, tell me, when brave people cry out in terror

for your team to come and help them, what name shall they cry?

ALL: Amba's Army!

All right. Time for devilish dare number one.

Let us consult the Scroll Of Secrets.

This ancient scroll holds the clue to what the first dare might be.

Amba, read it loud and clear, but remember,

the devil is in the detail!

What could that possibly mean?

I'm thinking a glass...

-Glass box.

-Maybe, yeah. Somewhere where you can't escape.

All right.

Amba and Riana, the time has come for you to decide which

of your grown-up-lings will undertake our first devilish dare.

Will they choose the mum, the dad,

or maybe Aunty Amisha's first in line?

Both: Dare Devil, Dare Devil, we dare Dad.

Dad! You are the first to be chosen.

It's time to depart.

Ah, yes.

The door has brought us

to one of your gilded temples of consumption, a shopping centre.

It's got escalators, alligators, and elevators.

Well, maybe not alligators.

But it's the elevators that have inspired our next dare,

a dare I like to call Oops And Downs.

Well, the dad,

you're going to be travelling in this glass-fronted lift.

I've got a series of embarrassing antics for you to complete

to win the doubloon for your team.

-You don't want to play the doubloon and wriggle out of trouble?

-Nah.

-You'll do the dare?

-Yeah, yeah.

-Excellent!

Then here's what you need to know.

The dad must face three cringeworthy assignments

whilst travelling up and down in this lift.

To pass the dare, he must keep a straight face each time

and convince his unsuspecting targets that he's for real.

OK, Riana, time to let rip with this first dare.

OK, Dad.

You have to let off a trump machine and say, "I'm really, really sorry.

"It must be the beans."

-LAUGHTER

-Oh! OK.

Time to get dad into position.

All right, the doors are closing and up he goes.

Now he just needs a punter.

Third, please.

Lift: Doors closing.

That's it. He's got some victims in there with him.

Trump machine ready!

PHRRT!

Oh, I'm really sorry. It must be the beans.

Go on, the dad! One more blast.

PHRRRT!

Oh, dear. Sorry.

She's heard the noise.

She's not waiting for the smell to catch up with her.

Well, he's passed wind and he's passed the first one!

ALL: Yay!

All right, Amba, it's time for you to handle the next one.

You need to sing You Raise Me Up in an opera style.

OK.

Hope you've brought your singing voice, the dad.

-Come on, Dad, you can do this.

-Come on.

AMBA GIGGLES

# You raise me up

# So I could stand on mountains... #

I wonder what his companion makes of it all.

# You raise me up

# So I can walk on stormy seas... #

Oh, no!

# You raise me up... #

All right, the dad. You can stop now. You've passed!

All right, Riana, over to you.

OK, Dad, you've got to fall asleep and snore loudly.

He can do that, definitely.

Excellent.

The dad needs to hold his nerve on this final embarrassing

challenge to land his team a doubloon.

ALL: Come on, Dad! You can do it!

There he goes, his head is lolling.

HE SNORTS

HE SNORES

-He's really snoring!

-He's nodding off!

HE SNORES

Has the shopper smelt a rat?

No, the dad's got away with!

Excellent!

Well, the dad, you've passed all your challenges

-and won a doubloon for your team!

-ALL: Yay!

Curses!

I'm never going in a lift again. That was nerve-racking.

# You raise me up... #

The funniest bit was when the people were looking at him

and laughing at him and thought that he was weird.

They now have two doubloons!

All right, Amba's Army, it's time for us

to undertake our second dastardly dare!

Let us once again consult the Scroll Of Secrets.

Riana, it's your turn to bring

your word pipe into action this time,

but remember the devil is in the detail!

What could that mean?

Something going up your arms? I think slithery snails.

All right, Amba and Riana, it's time for you to decide

which of your grown-up-lings will undertake our second devilish dare.

Will they choose the mum, Aunty Amisha, or the dad again?

Let's see!

BOTH: Daredevil, daredevil, we dare Aunty Amisha.

Aunty Amisha, you have been chosen for this slithery dare.

All right then, it's time to depart.

Ah, yes, the door has brought us to a large,

harmless-looking tepee in south-east England.

Tepees were the traditional habitat of the South East Englandian tribe

and it's their bath time that has inspired our next dare,

a dare I like to call Tub O' Snakes.

Tell me, Aunty Amisha, are you a fan of bath time?

-Oh, yes.

-Yes, yes, lovely and relaxing, eh?

Well, it shouldn't be!

Where I'm from, we fill it with snakes. How does that sound?

-Terrifying!

-Terrifying. Here's what you need to know.

The Aunty's heart-pounding challenge

is to face a dreadful dip in my bathtub

whilst a series of increasingly large

and slithery snakes are placed on her!

During three 30-second rounds,

she must keep these ink pointers

touching the middle of these two targets.

If she accumulates more than 20 fail points in total

by losing control of the pointers, then the doubloon is mine!

This is my old friend, Smiley Bobs.

He's been reading Snake-Handling For Beginners

and thought he'd give it a go.

You made it past the front cover, didn't you? Did you?

Oh, well, we've got to get on.

OK, Aunty Amisha, markers on the marks.

Smiley Bobs, let's begin filling that bath.

Lovely! First up, we've got a couple of corn snakes.

-Come on!

-Come on, Amisha.

And a couple of milk snakes.

All right, start the time!

That's it. The sand is slipping away.

Yes, that milk snake is very curious.

It's gone right around your arm.

Go on, you can do it.

There's one burrowing just under your other armpit there.

Ah, those steady markers mean she's not dropping points.

-Five, four...

-Come on!

-You're doing really well!

-..three, two, one.

That's the 30 seconds. Well done!

The Aunty's only picked up two fail points,

meaning she still has 18 in the bank.

All right, Aunty Amisha, our next guests,

two medium-sized pythons.

Smiley Bobs, if you will.

-Stay still.

-Yeah, stay still.

-Stay still!

-Yes, my goodness me!

Stay really still.

I wouldn't like to see the big fellas.

Come on, you can do this!

OK, Aunty Amisha, markers on the marks. Time starts now!

-Oh!

-Stay there, Amisha.

-Think nice thoughts.

-The seconds are ticking by.

-Come on!

-Yes, they seem to have settled down.

What do they feel like?

A ton of weight on me.

Yes, there's quite a lot of weight to a python, eh?

Despite the best efforts of my snakes,

still hardly a flicker on those targets.

-Are they slimy?

-They're not near you.

-Five, four, three...

-Just stay there.

..two, one. That's it! 30 seconds. Well done!

Aunty Amisha's picked up just one more fail point,

leaving her with 17 still to play with.

Smiley Bobs, time for the biggest snake you've got!

Well, Aunty Amisha, be assured,

we've saved the beast till last!

-This is a reticulated python.

-Stay still, Amisha!

-Really still!

-You're doing really well!

No, no, no, no, don't move, don't move!

OK, Aunty Amisha, markers on the marks, time starts now!

-Stay still!

-Stay really still!

Try and stay still if you possibly can.

-Come on!

-Don't move!

-That's it.

-Come on!

-That's it. Despite your family's excited cries...

This is more like it! It's snake spaghetti!

Yes, he's very curious about you, isn't he?

All right, five, four, three, two, one.

-Yes, she's done it! Well done!

-THEY CHEER

Well done!

Those targets are covered in scribbling this time.

But how many fail points does this mess give the Aunty?

Your limit was 20 points and I hate to say it, but you got 17.

That's well within and means you passed the dare!

Oh, Smiley Bobs, don't be like that. We'll get them next time.

I'm quite happy with myself that I managed to get through that.

At the beginning, I didn't think I would.

We're really proud of Aunty Amisha.

We didn't know she would pass. She's really scared of snakes.

She did really well and we got a doubloon, so yay!

Ah! They've done it again!

That means they have three doubloons!

Right, Amba's Army,

let us, for the last time, consult the Scroll Of Secrets.

Amba, you read this one out one more time,

but remember, the devil is in the detail.

What could that possibly mean?

-You'll have some balloons and maybe...

-Some kind of outfit.

-Armour?

-Maybe you've got to protect the balloons from popping?

The time has come, Riana and Amba,

for you to decide which of your grown-up-lings

will undertake our final dastardly dare.

BOTH: Dare Devil, Dare Devil, we dare Mum.

Mum, it is your turn after all and fair's fair.

Time for us to make like a bread truck and get our buns out of here.

Ah, the door has brought us to my old medieval playground.

I used to frolic here as a lad with a young King Arthur.

It's this sort of medieval shenanigan

that has inspired our final dare.

A dare I like to call Fright Knight.

The mum, you're probably wondering what we're doing in this field.

-Yeah.

-Yeah. Well, this turf ain't made for walking,

it's made for jousting.

And that's just what you're going to do!

This is all you need to know.

The mum is going to be taking part in a fearsome jousting contest

against wicked Sir Tin Head

and his ferocious steed, Robert.

-Bring it on!

-I'm entrusting her with 10 of my party balloons

which Sir Tin will target during a series of medieval jousts.

To pass the dare, the mum must have

at least three balloons left at the end.

Oh, and if Sir Tin Head should pop my black balloon,

then it's an automatic fail.

Time for round one!

Let the games begin!

-Go, go, go, go!

-Come on, Mum!

SHOUTS OF ENCOURAGEMENT

Excellent! That's one balloon popped.

If any of you do have a suit of armour

and a medieval lance knocking about, don't try this at home.

Round two!

Have at thee!

-Come on!

-There he goes.

A good turn. That's it.

Yes! She managed to evade his thrust.

The mum's doing annoyingly well.

All right, here we go with round three!

SHOUTS OF ENCOURAGEMENT

Come on! Come on!

That's it. Well, he's got another one.

Sir Tin Head's aim was true and it's another balloon burst!

Argh!

Brave Sir Tin Head has popped two of the mum's balloons so far,

but she's protected that all-important black one.

Atchoo! Sorry, everyone. Bit of a mess.

Round four!

-Protect that balloon!

-Come on!

-Come on!

SHOUTS OF ENCOURAGEMENT

Ah, he touched her, but he didn't pop anything.

Well done again, the mum.

The mum's guarded her balloons well so far,

but can she survive one final duel?

We've got to keep that black balloon intact!

R-a-a-a-ar!

SHOUTS OF ENCOURAGEMENT

Yes, that's it.

THEY GROAN

Well, we didn't see that coming,

but he managed to pop the black balloon.

I'm sorry, Amba's Army,

but you've lost the dare and the doubloon is mine.

Ah-ha-ha-ha!

I'm gutted. I really wanted to win that for my team

and I really thought I got it there.

He swept it right from under me.

We thought she had it, we really did. Oh!

Good day, good knight(!)

That's it for the grown-ups, let's see how they've done!

Amba's Army have passed two of their three dares,

earning them two doubloons to add to the one I gave them.

CHEERING

That gives Amba and Riana 180 seconds on the clock

as they head back to my castle!

Come on!

Ah, here we are, back at my old castle.

Now we'll go down to my dark and dismal dungeon.

Riana and Amba, it's time for you to face up to

my terrifying Chambers Of Bravery 3.0! Come on!

To win the prize and escape my dungeon,

Amba's Army must try and open all of the Treasure Tanks

by playing my devilish games.

THEY GROAN

-Help, please!

-I can't find it!

In a moment of weakness, I opened the first tank

-to give them a head start.

-Yes!

The more tanks they open,

the easier it will be in the final pitch-black chamber...

-Argh!

-..to grab enough doubloons to tip the Scales Of Destiny

and claim the glory!

Welcome to my dungeon, Amba's Army.

-Drippy, isn't it?

-It's horrible!

Listen closely, if one of you doesn't wish to do a challenge,

or it all gets a bit much, shout, "Stop,"

and someone can take your place,

though you will lose 10 seconds off the clock. You understand?

Very good! All right, Riana and Amba,

time for you to face our first terrifying chamber,

The Organ Of Halvor!

To open the tank, the tangled notes

of the Organ Of Halvor must be solved.

Whilst one plays the notes written on my music sheet,

the other must confront terrifying beasts

as they struggle to find the same tune on their keys.

Tell me, Amba and Riana,

which of you is going to take on this creepy-crawly fiend?

-I will.

-You will? Brave choice, Riana. All right, in you go.

-Good luck, girls!

-Come on!

-Come on, Amba!

What creatures await Amba's Army?

It's the rats!

Here we go, time's ticking.

-Good luck, Riana.

-OK.

-Start playing.

MUSICAL NOTES

Amba has played the tune written on my music sheet.

This is the sequence Riana has to find on her mixed-up notes.

Do the first one.

MUSICAL NOTES

OK.

Play it again.

MUSICAL NOTES

-OK.

-They've found two of the notes.

Next one.

MUSICAL NOTES

And another one.

MUSICAL NOTES

-Play them in sequence, let's see if you're right.

-OK.

MUSICAL NOTES

It doesn't like me.

CHEERING

Well done!

That's it, you've done it. Stop the clock. Out you come!

Well done!

Well, Riana, how was that with the rats nibbling at your fingertips?

-It was OK.

-It was OK.

You've got two Tanks Of Treachery open

and a very respectable 118 seconds left on the clock.

Plenty of time to confront our next chamber,

the horrifying Circles Of Solocles!

The final tank will open

when the Circles Of Solocles are correctly aligned.

But the code to the sequence is hidden in my Dome Of Doom.

To reveal the symbols, the lights must be illuminated

and the terrifying creatures must be faced!

All right, Amba and Riana, we're about to enter chamber two.

One of you and only one must face the creatures

that guard the dome. Who will it be?

-Me.

-You, Riana!

And what creatures do you imagine are waiting for you?

-Snails?

-Wrong! It's locusts!

Your time starts when your head pops up into the locust kingdom.

All right, in you go!

That's it, Riana, take them in.

My beasts are giving Riana the shivers.

Remember, she can swap in an adult,

but it will cost her 10 seconds off the clock.

Stop!

Dare Devil, Dare Devil, I dare Mum.

The mum, Riana has chosen you to swap in for her. In you go!

Riana, welcome back.

I'm curious to see how your mum fares

as her head enters the Dome Of Doom.

LAUGHTER

Start the clock!

Come on, Mum!

-Right, Amba, the first one is a triangle.

-OK.

It's a triangle with, like, an eye shape in the middle.

-Anything else in it?

-No, just an eye, like an eyeball.

Has it got dots in it, or...? Is it upside down?

Yeah. It's a triangle with an eye shape with a dot, yeah. Argh!

Is it upside down?

The triangle is upside down.

That's 30 seconds!

-OK, the second one is...

-Wait!

Got it?

Got it, Amba?

-OK, a triangle...

-15 seconds remain.

..with an eye shape. Yeah?

-Yeah, yeah.

-Next one is a skull with a bone.

-A skull and a bone.

-OK, skull...

-Five, four...

-Second one, a skull and a bone.

-Skull and a bone!

-..three...

-OK, third one is a key!

-..two...

-Third one is a key?

-Key!

-..one.

-Just put anything in!

That's it, your time's up. Out you come, the mum.

Amba's Army failed to align the Circles Of Solocles,

so they have just two treasure tanks to plunder

and only the minimum of 60 seconds

as they end their quest at the dreaded Tanks Of Treachery!

Amba, Riana, only one may enter.

-Who will it be?

-Me.

Amba, you have 60 seconds left to collect enough doubloons

to tip the Scales Of Destiny in your favour. In you go!

All right, Amba, your time starts

in three, two, one, hunt those doubloons!

-Go on, Amba!

-You can do it!

-Put your hands in there!

-Come on!

-Come on, you can do it!

-I've found two! I think I've found two!

-Yeah! Good girl!

-Put them in your pouch!

-Go faster!

Amba can't see anything in the pitch dark,

so she has no idea what she's putting her hands into.

I can feel another one, I think!

All right, well done! Keep going!

Amba, that's 30 seconds remaining!

-Ooo, come on!

-You've got 30 seconds!

Put your hands in there, Amba!

-I can't find...!

-Any more?

-Can you find any more?

-I've found one!

That's ten, nine, eight,

seven, six, five,

four, three, two, one.

-Time's up, Amba, out you come!

-Well done!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Welcome back to the light, Amba.

You've come a long way, but will you be heading to freedom with my prize?

It's time to face the scales.

EVIL CACKLE

Tip your doubloons onto the Scale Of Destiny.

Any more in there? Any more down the back of the sofa?

Is that it?

Well, I think we can all see

that you have failed to defeat me!

What does that mean you're going to be doing?

Cleaning your dungeon.

Cleaning my dungeon for all eternity!

Off you go, that way!

Grab a mop on the way, you horrible lot!

That's it, put a bit of effort into it.

I want this place clean by dawn, then move onto the east wing.

What's that? Yes, good idea.

You crank up the Macarena on the castle sound system

and I'll prepare a selection of dips.

Meanwhile, fearless children and adults beware,

for the Dare Devil awaits with a devilish dare!