Episode 1 The Dog Ate My Homework


Episode 1

Two teams fight it out to dodge detention. The team captains are joined by Jack Carroll, DNN's Sam Fletcher and comedians Bec Hill and Romesh Ranganathan.


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Transcript


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Hello, and welcome to The Dog Ate My Homework,

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CBBC's best excuse for a panel show.

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I'm Iain Stirling

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and I'm here to put good times back on the timetable.

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So let's kick things off with the school announcements.

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Congratulations to our biology club,

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who have successfully managed

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to cross a guinea pig with Harry Styles.

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LAUGHTER

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After a number of complaints,

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the new IT teacher strongly denies being an attention seeker.

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LAUGHTER

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And due to a typing error in today's religious education class,

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children will be learning about the importance of cod.

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LAUGHTER

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Enough mucking about,

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let's take the register to find out who's getting an A-star today.

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-On my left we have Roma...

-Here.

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..and on Roma's team we have teacher turned comedian Romesh Ranganathan.

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Here, sir.

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He's got specs, he's got funny, no, it's not me, it's Sam Fletcher.

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Here.

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Squeeze them all together into a super-student,

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we get Rosam Rangarom.

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That looks better than me, which is upsetting.

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BEC HILL: That looks like if you made a shark into a person.

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-That's what it would look like.

-There you have it.

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And on my right-hand side we have Jamie.

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-Here, miss, I mean Iain. Sorry.

-Unbelievable.

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-And in Jamie's team we have Australia's very own Bec Hill.

-Here.

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And joining them, Britain's Got Talent comedy king,

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it's Jack Carroll.

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-Here.

-Nice.

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Put them together and we get Jambecarol.

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Otherwise known as the ugliest human being ever created.

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It's mainly me!

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That's what Bec's twin brother looks like.

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-Yeah.

-That's it, so please big up both the teams today.

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OK, this is how we do it -

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every time you win a round you get to hand in some of this homework.

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The team that hands in the most wins the whole game.

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However, the team of - for want of a better word - losers,

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get put straight into detention

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with a man fiercer than a football stadium full of Beyonces,

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and, believe me, that is...

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fierce.

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It's Mr Smash.

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Aargh!

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Hi, Smashy, what you doing, mate?

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HE GRUNTS

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I'm quite busy, mate, I'm presenting a telly show...

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HE GRUNTS

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What you doing?

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You'll make them angry, mate.

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I'm warning you, they'll turn on you, mate.

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First rule of comedy - never provoke the audience.

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So that's who's in charge of detention,

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and remember, as far as the points go, it's Iain's school so it's...

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AUDIENCE: Iain's rules.

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Who's got two thumbs and a catch phrase? This guy!

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Right, enough shirking, let's get working.

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OK, this round is called Shedloads,

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the round with more back and forth than a selfish kid on a swing.

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I'll ask you a question that has shedloads of right answers.

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You have to give me as many of

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those correct answers as humanly possible.

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When I want to move on, I'll switch to another question,

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and when the bell goes,

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the team that I think has done the best can hand in their homework.

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-Everybody on board?

-ALL: Yes.

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Roma's team, your first question is geography.

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Name places that finish with the word "land". Go!

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-Iceland.

-Go.

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-Scotland.

-Yes.

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-England.

-Yes.

-Donald Sutherland.

-Nice.

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-Poundland.

-Yes.

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-BUZZER

-You've had it. Moving on...

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-Thailand.

-Nice.

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-Greenland.

-Yeah.

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-Poland.

-Poland.

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-Sunderland!

-Sunderland, yes!

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-Yeah!

-Birdland.

-Birdland?

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It's a theme park.

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They have loads of birds and stuff. It does exist.

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Fine then. Next one.

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-Deutschland.

-Deutschland?

-Yeah.

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Like it - two points for using foreign language.

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Winter wonderland.

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Oh! Romesh!

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Ha-ha!

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Music - an instrument that you can blow.

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-Didgeridoo.

-Yes.

-Flute.

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-Yes.

-Piano with a hole in it.

-Oh!

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A tin can that you can sort of...

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That is the most northern answer I've ever seen.

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The clarinet. I played the clarinet.

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You play the clarinet?

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Can you do a little air clarinet now for us?

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Is that the face that you pull?

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I can verify - that is actually a perfect clarinet face.

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-Balloon.

-Yes.

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Comb with a bit of paper on it.

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What noise does that make, Romesh?

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Doo-doo-doo-doo.

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APPLAUSE

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It is that easy. Next one.

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-My grandma.

-Your grandma?

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When you blow on my grandma she makes this sounds - ooh!

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If you line up like five grandmas, you can go

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ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh.

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Don't line up grandmas and blow on them.

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Next subject is things you'd find in your lunchbox.

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A drinks bottle.

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Apples.

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-A rotten sandwich.

-Oh!

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I left it there overnight.

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Is Jamie's parents in...?

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I think we need to have a talk.

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-A note from your mum.

-Saying what?

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I always get that and my mum's like, "Roma, I love you. Love mum."

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Or my dad sends me them.

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I used to get a note going, "I forgot to put sandwiches in this."

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"IOU a sandwich."

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-BELL RINGS

-Oh, that's time up.

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OK. I've had a think about it

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and because I'm worried about his sandwiches,

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I'm going to give the points there to Jamie's team -

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you can hand in your homework.

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-Next up is the round where we...

-KNOCK ON DOOR

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-Hello, who is it?

-It's Eve from class 4B.

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Oh, come in, Eve from class 4B.

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Oh, hello, Eve.

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That's a nice hat, is it cold outside?

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-No.

-You've been entertaining the pre-schoolers?

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Nope.

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-Why you wearing it then?

-I've just come back from the careers fair,

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I'm going to be a tiger.

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Raar!

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-Here you go, Iain.

-Thanks, Eve.

-Bye.

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Eve from class 4B, everyone.

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Don't eat anyone on the way out.

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OK. Oh, it's time for a school announcement.

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It's an announcement regarding the foreign exchange students.

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We've managed to exchange them for a new climbing frame!

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Don't tell their parents.

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And now it is time for everyone's highlight of the show,

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it is time for Who Do You Think I Am?

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-Oh, no.

-This is so rubbish.

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This is where I will truly dazzle you with my acting prowess

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and bring to life famous characters from the past.

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It's your easy, laughable job to guess which historical figure

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I have become.

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Do we have to do this?

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Genuinely, some of the worst acting I've ever seen from you, mate.

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He's very keen for this.

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We've got my box of dramatic ingredients,

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let's make a history quiche.

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-I don't like quiche.

-OK. Here we go.

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As well as my exciting acting, I've got some no-expense-spared props.

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Is that real medical equipment?

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If anyone is in trouble, I am qualified to deal with your woes.

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You look like you're stuck in a wind storm.

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OK. Here is your first clue.

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I'll just get into character - this is very serious stuff,

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so if you could just give it the respect it deserves.

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-OK.

-HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

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-NORTHERN IRISH ACCENT:

-I am an English medical lady,

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who was named after an Italian city.

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Are you sure you're English?

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I'm English, yes, this is my English accent.

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It's very aggressive.

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What do you mean aggressive?!

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I'm not going to intrude any further

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cos you're scaring me a little bit.

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Time for clue number two.

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-That was a clue?

-Yeah.

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-Eh?

-It was a clue!

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I'm in the character!

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-IN NORTHERN IRISH ACCENT:

-I was so brilliant

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at caring for people,

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I inspired lots of others to do what I did.

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-BEC:

-You're my grandma!

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Hold on. Wait, there's a test.

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-Ooh!

-Grandma!

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I'm not from Australia, you can tell from the accent. Hello!

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-Are you Doctor Who?

-No!

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Lady!

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OK, time for clue number three.

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I had the same surname as a bird.

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Ooh-ooh.

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I was known as the lady with the lamp.

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Lamp-torch, lamp-torch, lamp-torch.

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-We've got it.

-Who am I?

-Florence Nightingale.

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Is it Florence Nightingale?

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It's the correct answer!

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Yes, Florence Nightingale, mega-nurse of the Crimean War.

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Congratulations, Jamie, now let's go over to Roma's team...

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ANNOUNCEMENT: School disco!

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School disco!

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MUSIC: We No Speak Americano by Yolanda Be Cool & DCUP

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So, Roma's team, this is your one now.

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Do we really have to do this?

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-Romesh...

-What you did to that team was one of the most pathetic things

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I've seen in my life.

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OK, here we go.

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HE MUMBLES IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE

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This looks like a documentary about...

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I am trying to get into character!

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Sorry, Dumbledore.

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I've got it, right.

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It is Father Christmas on his day off.

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OK, here we go.

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I am an English man

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of royal blood.

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Brian Blessed.

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No!

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Royal blood - not in a cup, in me.

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Bit weird.

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Clue number two.

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I am a big fan

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of weddings and funerals.

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Hugh Grant.

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Now, to all the people under 15 that got that joke - well done!

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This is shameful.

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-MIMICS ROMA'S ACCENT:

-Absolutely shameful.

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That's Florence Nightingale.

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OK, clue number three.

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I also wrote loads of songs.

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I also like chopping off the heads of my many wives.

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People think I like throwing chickens over my shoulder.

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Have a chicken.

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Have a chicken.

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Have a chicken.

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Have a chicken.

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-So...

-Colonel Sanders.

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NO!

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Are you Henry VIII?

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I am Henry VIII, correct!

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Yes, the infamous axe fan

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and 16th-century King of England.

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-Well done, Roma's...

-PHONE RINGS

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Oh, hang on a minute,

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I've just had a phone call.

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Hello? Is that the BBC Drama Department?

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-Hello, Iain.

-Oh, yeah, mate.

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You're rubbish.

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You are welcome.

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OK, so Roma and Jamie both got the correct answer,

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so you both get to hand in your homework.

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We are rattling through things,

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so let's check in with Smash for the scores.

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Smashy, what have Roma's team got so far?

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Raargh, raargh, raargh.

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And what about Jamie's team?

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Raargh, raargh, raargh.

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Jamie's team, not too shabby.

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Roma's team, get your thinking caps on

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or you'll be in detention with Smash,

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and believe me, he has got questionable hygiene.

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He hasn't even taken his shoes off, they got eaten away by the smell.

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Right, let's get on with the next round.

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So, this is the round where, more often than not,

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things go a little bit pear-shaped.

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Yes, it's the off-the-wall art round.

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Today showing us what they can doodle are Bec and Sam,

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so please, Bec and Sam, join me at the art board.

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Let's go.

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So here's what we're going to do -

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I'll give each of you a list of animals to draw - kapow.

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Every time someone in your team guesses the animal,

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we'll move on to the next one,

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but you have to add the picture to the picture you've already drawn

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to create an enormous mutant mega-beast.

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And the team that guesses the most correct animals

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gets to hand in their homework.

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-Are you guys ready?

-Yes.

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OK, you have got until the bell rings,

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so start your mega-beasts now!

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First animal, here we go.

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ROMA: Sheep!

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Correct - one point, Roma's team, let's move on.

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-Dragon. Dinosaur.

-What is that?

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-Crocodile.

-Crocodile.

-Yeah!

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One point to Jamie's team. Move on.

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-Hurry up!

-Wolf! Wolf!

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-Elephant.

-Elephant, yes.

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One point to Roma's team. Let's move on.

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Come on, Bec. Talk more.

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-Deer. Deer.

-What is that?

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Not quite a deer, think more Christmassy.

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-Reindeer.

-Yes!

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Point to Roma's team. Move onto the next animal.

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-Raar!

-ROMA: Tiger...

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-What's spotty?

-Hurry up!

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-Leopard.

-Leopard.

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One point to Roma's team. Let's move on.

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ROMA: Hedgehog.

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Oh, what do you call it?

0:14:290:14:31

Peacock.

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Another point to Roma's team. Let's move on.

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ROMA: Hurry up, draw it faster! JAMIE: A unicorn.

0:14:370:14:39

-Yes.

-A what?

-A unicorn.

0:14:390:14:41

Point to Jamie's team. Let's move on.

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-ROMESH:

-Goldfish. Snail.

-What is it?

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-Kangaroo.

-A kangaroo?

0:14:480:14:50

Yes, point to Roma's team. Let's move on.

0:14:500:14:53

Draw faster.

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JAMIE: A snake.

0:14:550:14:57

Yes. Point to Jamie's team.

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BELL RINGS

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OK, put your pens down, we'll have a look at Bec's.

0:15:070:15:10

Let's talk me through this masterpiece.

0:15:100:15:12

This is an amalgamation of animals, this is its own animal.

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What's it called?

0:15:150:15:17

Peeweehumperdink.

0:15:170:15:20

-There's only five left in the wild.

-I've drawn that too!

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And do you know, if you give £1 every day,

0:15:240:15:27

you can save this animal.

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Yeah, if you give Bec £1 a day,

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she will save the Peeweepumpernickle and she will not...

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-Peeweehumperdink.

-Sorry.

-Come on.

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-It's as if you made it up.

-Get the name right.

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Give it up for Bec Hill's picture, everybody, it's wonderful.

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APPLAUSE

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-Sam Fletcher.

-Can I just say,

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my mum and dad both went to art school.

0:15:480:15:50

And you clearly didn't!

0:15:500:15:53

Sorry, Mum and Dad.

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What are you going to call this species of mega-beast?

0:15:540:15:57

The Latin name for it is...

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Of course, the Latin name.

0:15:590:16:01

..Completeous Rubbishneous.

0:16:010:16:03

Yeah, and the common name for it is Total Rubbish.

0:16:050:16:10

Smash, can you think of a good name for Sam's species of animal?

0:16:100:16:14

Raaargh!

0:16:140:16:17

Oh, he's went with Clive.

0:16:170:16:20

I like the fact that it's not got any eyes.

0:16:200:16:22

It does, it has one eye.

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It looks like a spot.

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Iain, if you looked like that, you do not want eyes.

0:16:250:16:28

It's lovely, mate.

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And I can also reveal that at the end of that round

0:16:290:16:33

the team that gave the most correct answers was Roma's team.

0:16:330:16:39

Roma, hand in your homework! Let's go!

0:16:410:16:44

OK, it's time for What Happened Was,

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the round where our teams have to come up with an outrageous excuse

0:16:500:16:54

for not handing in their homework.

0:16:540:16:56

And to give them something to work with,

0:16:560:16:58

I'm going to grab some words from the studio audience.

0:16:580:17:00

All right, guys, let's see what you've got. Come on!

0:17:000:17:03

Look how nervous everyone looks...

0:17:070:17:09

Surprise mum attack!

0:17:090:17:11

What's your word?

0:17:110:17:12

-Apricot.

-Apricot, ooh, very posh.

0:17:120:17:15

Is that your dad?

0:17:160:17:18

-Can I sit on him?

-Yeah.

0:17:180:17:19

Don't cuddle me. Aargh!

0:17:220:17:24

-What's your name, my man?

-Jack.

0:17:240:17:26

-What's your word, Jack?

-Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

0:17:260:17:29

He's gone left-field!

0:17:290:17:31

He's gone for a big 'un.

0:17:310:17:33

Surprise dad attack.

0:17:330:17:35

Zombie.

0:17:350:17:37

Is that your dad?

0:17:370:17:39

Keep an eye on him for me.

0:17:390:17:40

OK, what about you, what's your name, young lady?

0:17:400:17:43

-Nadine.

-Nadine, I just hit you with the microphone.

0:17:430:17:46

What's your word, Nadine?

0:17:460:17:47

-Leprechaun.

-Leprechaun, lovely.

0:17:470:17:50

OK. Jamie, your words are...

0:17:500:17:52

I can't even say it! OK.

0:17:590:18:01

-What's your name, buddy?

-James.

0:18:010:18:03

-Where are you from, James?

-Newcastle.

0:18:030:18:05

Oh, wow, you've travelled all the way here today?

0:18:050:18:07

-No, yesterday.

-Whoa!

0:18:070:18:10

Do you regret that decision?

0:18:100:18:12

-Yes.

-Yeah, I would.

0:18:120:18:15

Right, so what's your word?

0:18:150:18:16

-Explosion.

-Explosion.

0:18:160:18:18

HE MIMICS A SMALL EXPLOSION

0:18:180:18:20

Oh, look at you.

0:18:200:18:21

What's your name?

0:18:210:18:23

-Samantha.

-And what's your word, Samantha?

0:18:230:18:25

-Coinkydink.

-Coinkydink?

0:18:250:18:27

That's totes a coinkydink!

0:18:270:18:30

I'm wearing that jumper as well, what a coinkydink.

0:18:300:18:33

What's your name?

0:18:340:18:36

-May.

-May?

0:18:360:18:37

What's your word, May?

0:18:370:18:39

-Disobedient.

-Disobedient?

0:18:390:18:42

-Is she disobedient?

-Yes.

0:18:420:18:43

-No.

-Look at that.

0:18:430:18:44

Her dad went, "Yes, she is."

0:18:440:18:46

Kapow, what's your word?

0:18:460:18:48

-Gobbledygook.

-Gobbledygook.

0:18:480:18:50

What's your word?

0:18:500:18:51

-Frog.

-What's your word?

0:18:510:18:52

-Pigeon.

-OK.

0:18:520:18:54

Roma, your words are...

0:18:540:18:56

OK, we've got our words,

0:19:010:19:02

let's talk some drivel.

0:19:020:19:04

Come on, let's go!

0:19:040:19:05

Jamie, young man,

0:19:110:19:12

you know the rules, mate, you do your homework,

0:19:120:19:16

you hand it in, so just pass me the homework,

0:19:160:19:18

I'll have a look at it now.

0:19:180:19:19

Eh, well, I haven't got it with me, Iain.

0:19:190:19:22

You haven't...?

0:19:220:19:23

What do you mean?

0:19:230:19:25

Well, what happened was, I saw a leprechaun, and he asked me for...

0:19:250:19:29

Where was this? Where did you see it?

0:19:290:19:31

-Oh, at the park.

-Oh, there's loads in the park.

0:19:310:19:34

He was playing on the swings and he was like, "Hello."

0:19:340:19:37

They do that.

0:19:370:19:39

And he asked me if I was hungry,

0:19:390:19:41

because he had lots of apricots that he'd bought off a mutant zombie.

0:19:410:19:46

Oh, one of them apricot-selling mutant zombies?

0:19:460:19:49

So, I had some apricots and they were supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

0:19:490:19:54

That's how I would describe them.

0:19:540:19:56

If you say it loud enough, it almost sounds precocious.

0:19:560:19:59

Oh!

0:19:590:20:00

But the leprechaun wanted something in return.

0:20:000:20:04

Of course he did.

0:20:040:20:05

He's not handing out free apricots, he's a businessman.

0:20:050:20:08

I wasn't sure what to give him,

0:20:080:20:10

but he just stole my homework immediately

0:20:100:20:13

and he laughed at me in a strange, evil way, like...

0:20:130:20:17

HE DOES A SILLY LAUGH

0:20:170:20:19

There you go.

0:20:200:20:22

It's fine though, Jamie, don't worry about it.

0:20:230:20:26

It's not a day wasted, cos Roma is going to hand in her homework

0:20:260:20:30

and we can... Come on, Roma.

0:20:300:20:32

-I don't have it.

-What do you mean?

0:20:320:20:35

Well, what happened was, I was walking to school...

0:20:350:20:38

That's a good place to walk to.

0:20:380:20:40

..and I heard an explosion,

0:20:400:20:42

and this pigeon flew right over me,

0:20:420:20:45

just as there was an explosion.

0:20:450:20:47

I thought,

0:20:470:20:49

"That's a coinkydink."

0:20:490:20:52

It is, what a coinkydink.

0:20:520:20:54

And the pigeon landed on my head.

0:20:540:20:57

No way!

0:20:570:20:58

Was it one of them head-landing pigeons?

0:20:580:21:00

Yeah.

0:21:000:21:01

Oh, they're a nightmare at the minute, aren't they, Rom?

0:21:010:21:04

You can't move for 'em, head-landers.

0:21:040:21:06

Head-landers, I hate them.

0:21:060:21:07

Carry on.

0:21:070:21:09

And it took my homework, and then...

0:21:090:21:11

-Cos you keep your homework on your head, don't you?

-Yeah.

0:21:110:21:14

Of course you do.

0:21:140:21:15

-Good place to store it.

-Best place.

0:21:150:21:18

And then I went to run after it,

0:21:180:21:21

but then I found out it was a certain type of breed of pigeon,

0:21:210:21:25

and this is what the French call a "disobediont peegion".

0:21:250:21:30

What's that in English.

0:21:300:21:31

-Disobedient pigeon.

-Oh, no.

0:21:310:21:33

It wasn't a head-lander.

0:21:330:21:35

It's a disobedient head-lander.

0:21:350:21:37

-It's the worst combination.

-The worst type.

0:21:370:21:39

But I went to get the homework back and I met a policeman

0:21:390:21:43

and he told me that this certain type of pigeon was wanted

0:21:430:21:47

and illegal in certain countries

0:21:470:21:49

and it was extremely dangerous to confront it.

0:21:490:21:52

So, I made a judgment call -

0:21:520:21:55

either be killed by a pigeon or go to school, so I went to school.

0:21:550:21:58

Right, guys, well, I like both of them -

0:21:580:22:01

they're both good excuses, but whose was the best?

0:22:010:22:04

There is only one way to find out - using the audience.

0:22:040:22:06

So if you like Jamie's leprechaun, let's hear you scream now.

0:22:060:22:10

SCREAMING

0:22:100:22:13

Louder.

0:22:130:22:15

Or if you were a fan of

0:22:150:22:17

Roma's disobedient pigeon, scream now.

0:22:170:22:22

LOUD SCREAMING

0:22:220:22:24

Wow!

0:22:280:22:29

That was unbelievable.

0:22:290:22:31

I'm going to have to call that...a draw.

0:22:310:22:35

Both teams, hand in their homework.

0:22:350:22:37

OK, it's time to hotfoot it to the finish,

0:22:440:22:46

it is time for All Kinds Of Wrong.

0:22:460:22:48

I'll be throwing heaps of questions at each team.

0:22:480:22:51

When you feel the scorch of the spotlight,

0:22:510:22:54

I want you to give me the first incorrect answer

0:22:540:22:57

that springs to mind.

0:22:570:22:59

Every wrong answer means a piece of bonus homework in the bank.

0:22:590:23:03

Roma's team, you guys are up first,

0:23:030:23:05

so, please, make your way to The Wrong Ray.

0:23:050:23:07

OK, guys, when the light stops on you, you have to give me

0:23:140:23:17

an incorrect answer, do you understand?

0:23:170:23:20

-ALL: No.

-Correct.

0:23:200:23:21

Well done.

0:23:210:23:22

Here we go, your time starts in three, two, one...

0:23:220:23:25

KLAXON

0:23:250:23:27

There's no place like...?

0:23:270:23:29

A large tortoise's backside.

0:23:290:23:31

What do you use to cut the grass?

0:23:330:23:35

Cheese.

0:23:350:23:36

Nice to see you, to see you...?

0:23:360:23:40

Really nice.

0:23:400:23:42

No, nice, I'm not going to take that.

0:23:420:23:44

ET, phone...?

0:23:440:23:47

Monkfish.

0:23:470:23:48

Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou...?

0:23:490:23:51

I'm at IKEA.

0:23:510:23:53

Correct.

0:23:550:23:56

Brits are famous for eating fish and...?

0:23:560:23:59

Dinosaurs.

0:23:590:24:00

A, B, C, D, E, F...?

0:24:000:24:03

12.

0:24:030:24:04

Is this a rhetorical question?

0:24:060:24:09

Orange.

0:24:090:24:10

Correct. X marks the...?

0:24:110:24:14

-BELL RINGS

-Oh, time up.

0:24:140:24:16

You lot were totally barking up the wrong tree there, well done.

0:24:190:24:22

Now back to your seats!

0:24:220:24:23

OK, same again for you guys. Your time start in three, two, one...

0:24:300:24:35

KLAXON

0:24:350:24:36

To be or not to be - that is the...?

0:24:360:24:39

Answer.

0:24:390:24:40

The Eiffel Tower is in the city of...?

0:24:400:24:43

My back garden.

0:24:430:24:45

The dictionary contains lots of different...?

0:24:450:24:48

-Waffles.

-Correct.

0:24:480:24:50

If you're embarrassed, you eat humble...?

0:24:500:24:53

I just eat pie anyway.

0:24:530:24:56

What colour is an orange?

0:24:560:24:57

-Seven.

-Correct.

0:24:590:25:00

Every cloud has a silver...?

0:25:000:25:03

-Dress.

-Correct.

0:25:030:25:06

What isn't your name?

0:25:060:25:07

Macklin.

0:25:090:25:10

Incorrect.

0:25:100:25:11

That is not your name.

0:25:110:25:13

What planet do we live on?

0:25:130:25:15

I don't know sometimes.

0:25:170:25:18

Correct.

0:25:180:25:20

BELL RINGS

0:25:200:25:21

Well done there, so many incorrect answers,

0:25:270:25:30

but I've got genuinely no idea

0:25:300:25:31

if you were wrong enough to win the round,

0:25:310:25:33

so head back to your seats and let's find out who scored top marks.

0:25:330:25:37

Teams, it's promotion to prefects for the winners,

0:25:420:25:44

but it's detention for the losers.

0:25:440:25:46

So have you smashed it enough to avoid...Mr Smash?

0:25:460:25:50

HE GRUNTS

0:25:500:25:53

He does do a lot of good work for charity.

0:25:590:26:02

Anyway, here we go - let's find out which team are swotty

0:26:020:26:05

and which team are...

0:26:050:26:07

AUDIENCE: Naughty!

0:26:070:26:08

DRUM ROLL

0:26:100:26:11

And the winner is...

0:26:160:26:18

-Roma's team!

-CHEERING

0:26:180:26:21

Well done, Roma's team,

0:26:250:26:26

but, Jamie, Jamie, Jamie, I don't want to say this to you, mate...

0:26:260:26:31

But, sadly, your team are going to have to take the walk of shame.

0:26:310:26:34

Off you go.

0:26:340:26:36

# La, la, la, la-la-la, losers

0:26:360:26:37

# La, la, la, la-la-la, losers

0:26:370:26:39

# La, la, la, la-la-la, losers. #

0:26:390:26:42

All right, guys,

0:26:420:26:44

what has happened today

0:26:440:26:45

is that Smash has lost his whistle in the shower this morning,

0:26:450:26:48

so if you could just have a look through

0:26:480:26:50

those bowls of plughole hair.

0:26:500:26:52

In you get, Jamie, right in.

0:26:530:26:57

While they're doing that,

0:26:570:26:58

please, give it up for the three people in detention -

0:26:580:27:01

it is Bec, Jamie and Jack, everyone.

0:27:010:27:03

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:27:030:27:06

Also, give it up for our star pupils today, Roma, Romesh and Sam.

0:27:060:27:10

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:27:100:27:11

Thank you all for watching, and remember,

0:27:110:27:14

we didn't learn much, but it was fun trying.

0:27:140:27:16

See you all next time on...

0:27:160:27:18

AUDIENCE: The Dog Ate My Homework.

0:27:180:27:21

Sees ya!

0:27:210:27:23

Two teams fight it out to dodge detention and put the cool back into school in a mischievous mix of tongue-in-cheek comedy, off-the-wall questions, nonsensical studio games and slapstick challenges.

The super-student team captains are joined by Britain's Got Talent star Jack Carroll, DNN's Sam Fletcher and comedians Bec Hill and Romesh Ranganathan.


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