Episode 10 The Dog Ate My Homework
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Transcript
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|---|---|---|---|
Get off of me! I don't care if you've had a bad romance, | 0:00:42 | 0:00:45 | |
I don't want to go out with you, Lady Gaga! | 0:00:45 | 0:00:47 | |
Oh, hello! Come on! | 0:00:47 | 0:00:50 | |
Yes! | 0:00:52 | 0:00:54 | |
Hello, I'm Iain Stirling. | 0:00:54 | 0:00:55 | |
Welcome to the panel show, The Dog Ate My Homework - | 0:00:55 | 0:00:58 | |
all about school. | 0:00:58 | 0:00:59 | |
Got any Sports Day fans in? Cheer if you're a fan of Sports Day. | 0:00:59 | 0:01:03 | |
CHEERING | 0:01:03 | 0:01:05 | |
It's better now than it was in your parents' day. | 0:01:05 | 0:01:08 | |
Listen to what your mum and dad had to do | 0:01:08 | 0:01:10 | |
if they forgot their PE stuff for Sports Day. | 0:01:10 | 0:01:13 | |
They had to do it in their underwear. | 0:01:13 | 0:01:16 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:01:16 | 0:01:17 | |
Imagine that - your dad running the 100m in his little Y-fronts, | 0:01:17 | 0:01:22 | |
doing his dad running... | 0:01:22 | 0:01:23 | |
..with just pants on. | 0:01:24 | 0:01:25 | |
Ridiculous! | 0:01:25 | 0:01:27 | |
Also, speaking of parents, you'll have this - | 0:01:27 | 0:01:29 | |
there's always one parent at Sports Day | 0:01:29 | 0:01:31 | |
that takes the whole thing far too seriously. | 0:01:31 | 0:01:33 | |
That one angry dad on the side of the pitch, going... | 0:01:35 | 0:01:38 | |
"Rrrrrr! | 0:01:38 | 0:01:40 | |
"Come on, Gary, don't let the team down!" | 0:01:40 | 0:01:42 | |
There you go, people, that's Sports Day. | 0:01:44 | 0:01:46 | |
So, let's start things off with the school bell. | 0:01:51 | 0:01:54 | |
SHIP'S HORN HONKS | 0:01:54 | 0:01:55 | |
Yeah - going to have to get that fixed. | 0:01:55 | 0:01:58 | |
Let's meet the teams. | 0:01:58 | 0:02:00 | |
On my left - her drama teacher says she's ready for the big time, | 0:02:04 | 0:02:08 | |
so we bought her a giant clock. | 0:02:08 | 0:02:10 | |
-It's Harley. -Here! | 0:02:10 | 0:02:12 | |
And on Harley's team, from CBBC's Absolute Genius, it's Fran Scott. | 0:02:15 | 0:02:18 | |
Here! | 0:02:18 | 0:02:20 | |
His report card says, "There's something funny about him." | 0:02:20 | 0:02:23 | |
They were right - he's got his own sitcom. | 0:02:23 | 0:02:25 | |
It's Mr Khan from Citizen Khan - Adil Ray, everybody! | 0:02:25 | 0:02:28 | |
Here. | 0:02:28 | 0:02:30 | |
That's Harley's team. | 0:02:30 | 0:02:32 | |
And moving right along to my right - | 0:02:32 | 0:02:35 | |
"He talks proper funny an' that, and he's dead good at fings." | 0:02:35 | 0:02:38 | |
I think he might have written that on his own report card. | 0:02:38 | 0:02:41 | |
It's my mortal enemy, Jamie - all right, mate? | 0:02:41 | 0:02:43 | |
-Oh, yeah, I'm here, yeah. -Good. | 0:02:43 | 0:02:45 | |
On Jamie's team - he proved that Simon Cowell | 0:02:46 | 0:02:48 | |
isn't the only comedian in Britain's Got Talent. | 0:02:48 | 0:02:50 | |
It's Jack Carroll. | 0:02:50 | 0:02:52 | |
This guy's got the WRIGHT stuff, but the wrong hairstyle. | 0:02:54 | 0:02:58 | |
From The 4 O'Clock Club, it's Dan Wright. | 0:02:58 | 0:03:00 | |
Yes, miss. | 0:03:00 | 0:03:02 | |
Make some noise for today's teams! | 0:03:03 | 0:03:06 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:03:06 | 0:03:09 | |
Right, teams - here's how it works. | 0:03:11 | 0:03:13 | |
For every game you win, you get a gold star. | 0:03:13 | 0:03:17 | |
AUDIENCE: Oooooh! | 0:03:17 | 0:03:20 | |
Easily impressed! And if you really impress me, | 0:03:20 | 0:03:22 | |
I might even award you a bonus gold star. | 0:03:22 | 0:03:25 | |
But make sure you stay on my good side | 0:03:25 | 0:03:27 | |
cos I can just take them away. | 0:03:27 | 0:03:28 | |
Why? Because as far as things go, it's Iain's School, so it's... | 0:03:30 | 0:03:33 | |
AUDIENCE: IAIN'S RULES! | 0:03:33 | 0:03:36 | |
The team with the most gold stars at the end of the show | 0:03:36 | 0:03:38 | |
gets to hand in their homework. | 0:03:38 | 0:03:40 | |
But not the losers - all their hard work on their assignments | 0:03:40 | 0:03:43 | |
will be lightly seasoned and fed to the dog. | 0:03:43 | 0:03:46 | |
And on top of that, we'll give the losers | 0:03:46 | 0:03:48 | |
detention with our terrifying PE teacher, | 0:03:48 | 0:03:50 | |
a man so big we use him as a roundabout - | 0:03:50 | 0:03:53 | |
it's Mr Smash. | 0:03:53 | 0:03:54 | |
Rrraaarrrggghhh! | 0:03:54 | 0:03:57 | |
Rrrr-arrgghh! Rrr... | 0:03:57 | 0:04:01 | |
DOG WHIMPERS | 0:04:01 | 0:04:04 | |
I think they make a lovely couple, | 0:04:04 | 0:04:06 | |
Enough of this - let's get on with this thing already! | 0:04:06 | 0:04:10 | |
Time now for Weird Science - | 0:04:15 | 0:04:18 | |
I'll show you some scientific facts, but with bits blanked out. | 0:04:18 | 0:04:21 | |
All you guys have to do is fill in the missing words. | 0:04:21 | 0:04:24 | |
OK, here's your first science fact. | 0:04:24 | 0:04:26 | |
Please buzz in if you think you know the correct answer, | 0:04:26 | 0:04:29 | |
or a funny answer. | 0:04:29 | 0:04:31 | |
Women BLANK twice as much as BLANK. | 0:04:31 | 0:04:34 | |
HORN HONKS | 0:04:34 | 0:04:35 | |
Women fancy ginger people twice as much as regular people. | 0:04:35 | 0:04:39 | |
Oh! | 0:04:39 | 0:04:40 | |
Yes. | 0:04:41 | 0:04:43 | |
BELL RINGS | 0:04:44 | 0:04:45 | |
Women fancy Asian people twice as much as ginger people. | 0:04:45 | 0:04:49 | |
-Oh! -No way, mate. | 0:04:49 | 0:04:52 | |
BELL CLANGS | 0:04:53 | 0:04:54 | |
Women fancy popular Scottish TV presenters | 0:04:54 | 0:04:58 | |
twice as much as everyone else. | 0:04:58 | 0:05:00 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:05:02 | 0:05:04 | |
Thank you. | 0:05:06 | 0:05:07 | |
Right, it involves your eyeballs. It involves your eyeballs. | 0:05:07 | 0:05:10 | |
HORN HONKS | 0:05:10 | 0:05:11 | |
Women have twice as many eyes in the back of their head... | 0:05:11 | 0:05:15 | |
Twice as many eyeballs in their face. | 0:05:17 | 0:05:18 | |
Know when your mum used to say she's got eyes in the back of her head? | 0:05:18 | 0:05:21 | |
-Yeah? -That was a lie. -Oh, no! | 0:05:21 | 0:05:24 | |
I'm going to give you the answer... | 0:05:24 | 0:05:26 | |
BELL RINGS | 0:05:26 | 0:05:28 | |
-It's one of two. -Oh, look at... | 0:05:28 | 0:05:30 | |
Look at Mrs Neuroscience! | 0:05:30 | 0:05:33 | |
"Oh, it could be one of many of my options I've got in my brain." | 0:05:33 | 0:05:37 | |
-What is it? -Cry twice as much as men. | 0:05:37 | 0:05:41 | |
No, it is quite... So near. | 0:05:41 | 0:05:44 | |
I'll give you a clue. | 0:05:44 | 0:05:46 | |
-Hey, Fran. -That was the other... | 0:05:46 | 0:05:48 | |
HORN HONKS | 0:05:48 | 0:05:49 | |
No! You didn't buzz... | 0:05:49 | 0:05:50 | |
BELL RINGS | 0:05:50 | 0:05:52 | |
Women blink twice as much as men. | 0:05:52 | 0:05:54 | |
-Correct! -Yes! | 0:05:54 | 0:05:56 | |
OK, next clue. BLANKS have 32 brains. | 0:06:00 | 0:06:05 | |
HORN HONKS | 0:06:05 | 0:06:06 | |
-Jack? -32 people have 32 brains. | 0:06:06 | 0:06:09 | |
I mean, that is true - that is correct. | 0:06:09 | 0:06:13 | |
That should be on here. But it isn't. | 0:06:13 | 0:06:15 | |
Tell you what, Jack, you can have a gold star for that, cos it is right. | 0:06:15 | 0:06:19 | |
-Yeah! -Anyone else? | 0:06:19 | 0:06:20 | |
AUDIENCE: Ooh! | 0:06:20 | 0:06:22 | |
BELL RINGS | 0:06:22 | 0:06:24 | |
16 twins have 32 brains. | 0:06:24 | 0:06:26 | |
I'm going to give you a gold star. | 0:06:26 | 0:06:28 | |
APPLAUSE, HORN HONKS | 0:06:28 | 0:06:30 | |
I'm not very good at maths, so can we stop this now? | 0:06:30 | 0:06:34 | |
Let's move on - anyone else? It's an insect. | 0:06:34 | 0:06:36 | |
HORN HONKS Iain doesn't have 32 brains. | 0:06:36 | 0:06:40 | |
In fact, he doesn't even have one. | 0:06:40 | 0:06:42 | |
-We're trying to get points here! -Jamie, Jamie... | 0:06:43 | 0:06:46 | |
Remember that gold star that Jack got earlier on? | 0:06:46 | 0:06:48 | |
-It's gone. Mate. -Oh...! | 0:06:48 | 0:06:50 | |
BELL RINGS | 0:06:50 | 0:06:52 | |
-Adil! -I know it! -What is it? | 0:06:52 | 0:06:54 | |
Leeches, or a leech, has 32 brains. | 0:06:54 | 0:06:57 | |
Is correct! | 0:06:57 | 0:06:58 | |
Right, we'll go to the next one. | 0:07:03 | 0:07:05 | |
If you put BLANK in water, it would BLANK. | 0:07:05 | 0:07:09 | |
-BELL RINGS -Yes, Adil? | 0:07:09 | 0:07:11 | |
If you put an "I" in "water", | 0:07:11 | 0:07:14 | |
it would spell "waiter". | 0:07:14 | 0:07:16 | |
I mean, I like that a lot. I'll give you a gold star for that. | 0:07:16 | 0:07:19 | |
BELL RINGS | 0:07:21 | 0:07:23 | |
-Yes. -If you put a solid in water, it would sink, | 0:07:23 | 0:07:26 | |
but if you put a non-solid in water, | 0:07:26 | 0:07:29 | |
it would...go on top of the water. | 0:07:29 | 0:07:33 | |
You're onto something now! I think the answer is... | 0:07:33 | 0:07:35 | |
FRAN WHISPERS | 0:07:35 | 0:07:37 | |
HORN HONKS If you put Saturn in water... | 0:07:37 | 0:07:40 | |
SHE LAUGHS | 0:07:40 | 0:07:41 | |
-If you put Saturn in water, it would... -Float. -Float! | 0:07:41 | 0:07:45 | |
If you put Saturn in water, it would float - | 0:07:45 | 0:07:47 | |
correct! | 0:07:47 | 0:07:48 | |
-Yeah! -Yes! | 0:07:48 | 0:07:50 | |
SCHOOL BELL RINGS | 0:07:54 | 0:07:56 | |
Time up - well done. | 0:07:56 | 0:07:57 | |
So let's find out who's on a roll and who's in a black hole. | 0:07:57 | 0:08:01 | |
I'll have to give it to Harley's team, everybody - well done. | 0:08:01 | 0:08:05 | |
Nee-naw! Nee-naw! Nee-naw! Nee-naw! | 0:08:09 | 0:08:12 | |
Oh, it's the school nurse. What are you doing here? | 0:08:12 | 0:08:15 | |
Oh, I can't keep a lid on it any more - | 0:08:15 | 0:08:17 | |
there's a flea infestation at the school. | 0:08:17 | 0:08:21 | |
My goodness me - look at the encrustation under those nails! | 0:08:21 | 0:08:25 | |
There's fleas here, and I will find them. | 0:08:25 | 0:08:30 | |
Now, this is what I like to see. You see this? Look at this. | 0:08:30 | 0:08:34 | |
These ears are impeccably clean. | 0:08:34 | 0:08:37 | |
You can see daylight right through them. | 0:08:37 | 0:08:40 | |
In fact, there's nothing in this wee boy's head at all. | 0:08:40 | 0:08:43 | |
That's quite remarkable. | 0:08:43 | 0:08:44 | |
I...should...have...guessed. | 0:08:44 | 0:08:48 | |
You dirty wee monkey! | 0:08:48 | 0:08:51 | |
MR SMASH SPLUTTERS | 0:08:52 | 0:08:55 | |
Nee-naw! Nee-naw! | 0:08:56 | 0:08:59 | |
It's time now for...I've Arted. | 0:09:05 | 0:09:08 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:09:08 | 0:09:10 | |
So, the most-talented artist from each team | 0:09:10 | 0:09:13 | |
will use their drawing skills to sketch the well-known phrase | 0:09:13 | 0:09:16 | |
on these here cards - hiya - | 0:09:16 | 0:09:19 | |
while the rest of you work out what the heck it is. | 0:09:19 | 0:09:22 | |
Every correct guess gets you a gold star. Easy peasy. | 0:09:22 | 0:09:25 | |
Jamie, who do you think is the most talented artist in your team? | 0:09:25 | 0:09:29 | |
-Dan. -Dan. | 0:09:29 | 0:09:31 | |
And Harley - who is the most talented artist on your team? | 0:09:31 | 0:09:35 | |
-What do you think? -I'm going to choose Adil. | 0:09:35 | 0:09:38 | |
I like your logic. | 0:09:38 | 0:09:39 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:09:39 | 0:09:41 | |
Everyone join me down at the boards. Come on, let's go! | 0:09:41 | 0:09:44 | |
All right, guys. | 0:09:50 | 0:09:51 | |
I've got what you need to draw on this card, OK? | 0:09:51 | 0:09:55 | |
But hang on a second - there's a bit missing in this board. | 0:09:55 | 0:09:58 | |
We need to fill it in. I think we need something thick... | 0:09:58 | 0:10:01 | |
Perfect - Mr Smash and the school nurse. | 0:10:03 | 0:10:05 | |
All right, guys. Have a quick look before we start. | 0:10:05 | 0:10:08 | |
That's what you're drawing first. It's there... | 0:10:08 | 0:10:11 | |
Right. And...go, go, go! | 0:10:11 | 0:10:14 | |
SHOUTS OF ENCOURAGEMENT | 0:10:14 | 0:10:16 | |
-FRAN: -A devil! A cow! A cat! | 0:10:16 | 0:10:18 | |
-A devil?! -Raining cats and dogs! | 0:10:18 | 0:10:20 | |
-A dog! A cat! -Cat! | 0:10:20 | 0:10:22 | |
-Guys, come on! -Oh! | 0:10:25 | 0:10:27 | |
THEY SHOUT SUGGESTIONS | 0:10:27 | 0:10:30 | |
What is it? Where's it going...? | 0:10:32 | 0:10:33 | |
QUIET AS A MOUSE! | 0:10:36 | 0:10:38 | |
-Yes! -Come on! | 0:10:38 | 0:10:40 | |
Take these ones down - it was quiet as a mouse. | 0:10:40 | 0:10:44 | |
Yes, yes. | 0:10:44 | 0:10:46 | |
Get it down, get it down, get it down! | 0:10:46 | 0:10:48 | |
Do it... | 0:10:52 | 0:10:54 | |
Three, two, one, go! | 0:10:56 | 0:10:59 | |
JAMIE: Elephant, elephant! | 0:11:00 | 0:11:02 | |
-Dog ears... -All ears! | 0:11:03 | 0:11:04 | |
CHEERING | 0:11:04 | 0:11:07 | |
Quick! That was all ears. Well done, Dan. | 0:11:07 | 0:11:10 | |
Yes! | 0:11:10 | 0:11:12 | |
Get 'em down, get 'em down. | 0:11:12 | 0:11:13 | |
All we did was three ears. | 0:11:15 | 0:11:18 | |
Adil, you're doing not bad, man. There you go, buddy. | 0:11:18 | 0:11:20 | |
Dan, Dan, Dan. | 0:11:20 | 0:11:22 | |
There you go. Here we go - three, two, one, go again! | 0:11:22 | 0:11:26 | |
- The sun! The sun! - Sun is shining! | 0:11:31 | 0:11:34 | |
I don't know, this is not a good start. | 0:11:36 | 0:11:38 | |
No idea. Em... | 0:11:40 | 0:11:43 | |
TV? Light? | 0:11:43 | 0:11:45 | |
-I don't know... -What is that? | 0:11:45 | 0:11:47 | |
Er... | 0:11:49 | 0:11:51 | |
You're right with that. | 0:11:53 | 0:11:54 | |
It's more you'd have it in front of the fire... | 0:11:54 | 0:11:57 | |
-A rug! -A rug - that's a rug, we've got rug! | 0:11:57 | 0:12:01 | |
-They got it! -Snug as a bug in a rug! | 0:12:01 | 0:12:04 | |
-Snug as a bug in a rug! -Yes! | 0:12:04 | 0:12:06 | |
Right, guys, next one... | 0:12:09 | 0:12:11 | |
Three, two, one... Oh... | 0:12:14 | 0:12:17 | |
Oh, he means business now! | 0:12:17 | 0:12:19 | |
Three, two, one, go! | 0:12:19 | 0:12:21 | |
JAMIE: Smiley face... | 0:12:21 | 0:12:23 | |
Friends! | 0:12:23 | 0:12:25 | |
Friends, no... | 0:12:25 | 0:12:27 | |
Two heads are better than one! | 0:12:27 | 0:12:29 | |
Yeah! Jamie! | 0:12:29 | 0:12:32 | |
Very good! | 0:12:33 | 0:12:34 | |
But Mr Smash, no! | 0:12:34 | 0:12:37 | |
Two heads, yeah. Mr Smash, no... | 0:12:37 | 0:12:40 | |
Oh! | 0:12:40 | 0:12:42 | |
Let's move on, take 'em down. | 0:12:42 | 0:12:45 | |
I didn't get that. | 0:12:45 | 0:12:47 | |
Last one, last one. This... | 0:12:47 | 0:12:50 | |
-Last one. This. -OK. | 0:12:50 | 0:12:54 | |
OK, here we go. Three, two, one, go! | 0:12:54 | 0:12:58 | |
JAMIE: Um...it's a dress. | 0:12:58 | 0:13:02 | |
Oh, that's not bad at all! | 0:13:02 | 0:13:05 | |
- It's a dress! - Hat! | 0:13:05 | 0:13:08 | |
THEY SHOUT SUGGESTIONS | 0:13:08 | 0:13:10 | |
No...no. | 0:13:10 | 0:13:12 | |
-New egg! New egg! -You're close with egg... | 0:13:12 | 0:13:15 | |
Egg what? Egg what? | 0:13:16 | 0:13:19 | |
-Smile egg! -Egg head! | 0:13:21 | 0:13:22 | |
Yes! Fran got it! | 0:13:22 | 0:13:25 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:13:28 | 0:13:31 | |
We've got the unhappiest egg in the whole wide world. | 0:13:32 | 0:13:34 | |
-SCHOOL BELL RINGS -That's your time up. | 0:13:34 | 0:13:37 | |
I can tell you that the team that got the most right there, | 0:13:37 | 0:13:40 | |
and getting the gold star, | 0:13:40 | 0:13:41 | |
is Harley's team! | 0:13:41 | 0:13:44 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:13:44 | 0:13:46 | |
It's time for Wot Happened Woz, the round where our teams | 0:13:51 | 0:13:54 | |
have to invent a belter of an excuse for not handing in their homework. | 0:13:54 | 0:13:58 | |
Let's get some words right now from our studio audience! | 0:13:58 | 0:14:03 | |
Let's do this! Come on! | 0:14:03 | 0:14:05 | |
Oh...oh, hands are up. | 0:14:10 | 0:14:12 | |
Sir, do you know any? | 0:14:14 | 0:14:17 | |
-Doughnuts. -Doughnuts. That's a good word. | 0:14:17 | 0:14:20 | |
All right, mate? What's your name? | 0:14:20 | 0:14:22 | |
-Marcelis. -Marcelis? -Yeah. | 0:14:22 | 0:14:24 | |
Wow! That's amazing. Are you an international football player? | 0:14:24 | 0:14:28 | |
-Yeah. -Good. | 0:14:28 | 0:14:30 | |
Glad we've got a celebrity on the show. What's your word? | 0:14:30 | 0:14:34 | |
-Pineapples. -Pineapples - plural. Greedy. I like it. There you go. | 0:14:34 | 0:14:40 | |
I can't be bother going any further. Come down here. | 0:14:40 | 0:14:43 | |
-What happened to the rest of your T-shirt? -I don't know. | 0:14:43 | 0:14:47 | |
-You don't know? It got nicked! What's your name, buddy? -Joshua. | 0:14:47 | 0:14:50 | |
-And what's your word, Joshua? -B-B-Bonkers. | 0:14:50 | 0:14:53 | |
B-B-Bonkers. | 0:14:53 | 0:14:54 | |
Oh - my bum's right in your face, there, sorry about that. | 0:14:54 | 0:14:57 | |
We're going to go down a bit further. | 0:14:57 | 0:15:00 | |
Going to go over here a bit... | 0:15:00 | 0:15:02 | |
This man here's got an interesting T-shirt on. I like you, sir. | 0:15:02 | 0:15:05 | |
-What's your name, buddy? -Gregor. | 0:15:05 | 0:15:07 | |
-And what's your word, pal? -Objection. | 0:15:07 | 0:15:09 | |
Objection - I object to that answer, young man! | 0:15:09 | 0:15:12 | |
Surprise Mum attack - pee-ow! | 0:15:12 | 0:15:15 | |
-What's your word? -I'm using Lucy's, which is chinchilla. | 0:15:17 | 0:15:20 | |
Chinchilla - oh, Lucy, you're going to have to think fast! | 0:15:20 | 0:15:24 | |
-Cat. -Cat. It's just like a big chinchilla. | 0:15:24 | 0:15:27 | |
That's what you've done there. | 0:15:27 | 0:15:29 | |
If I go down here...oh, I like your glasses. Both of you have glasses. | 0:15:29 | 0:15:34 | |
I'll go in the middle of the two - look at this. | 0:15:34 | 0:15:37 | |
Look over there, the three of us... | 0:15:37 | 0:15:41 | |
THEY LAUGH | 0:15:41 | 0:15:44 | |
We are the glass triplets. | 0:15:44 | 0:15:47 | |
What's your name, glass triplet number one? | 0:15:47 | 0:15:49 | |
-Eilidh. -Eilidh. | 0:15:49 | 0:15:51 | |
What's yours, glass triplet number three? | 0:15:51 | 0:15:53 | |
-Freya. -Freya. | 0:15:53 | 0:15:56 | |
Never put an "R" in a Scottish person's name. Spit. | 0:15:56 | 0:15:59 | |
Rrrr...! | 0:15:59 | 0:16:00 | |
-What's your word? -Perpendicular. -Perpendicular. | 0:16:00 | 0:16:04 | |
We can go further over - one last one, last one... | 0:16:04 | 0:16:09 | |
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh, me! Me! | 0:16:09 | 0:16:12 | |
If you can give me a high five, you can ask a... | 0:16:12 | 0:16:14 | |
High five. High five. High five, you give me the word. | 0:16:14 | 0:16:19 | |
All I'm wanting, the high five. | 0:16:19 | 0:16:21 | |
Right - three of you, think of a word together. | 0:16:21 | 0:16:24 | |
Pick one. Don't let me hear it. | 0:16:24 | 0:16:26 | |
Right, get in line, get in line. | 0:16:26 | 0:16:29 | |
On the count of three, say a word - one, two, three... | 0:16:29 | 0:16:31 | |
ALL: Bazooka! | 0:16:31 | 0:16:33 | |
I think we've got enough words. | 0:16:33 | 0:16:34 | |
Let's go back down and play the game, come on! | 0:16:34 | 0:16:37 | |
OK! So...here, I've got eight words. I also have a bell. | 0:16:41 | 0:16:46 | |
CLANG! | 0:16:46 | 0:16:47 | |
-AUDIENCE MEMBER: -Whoo! -I'm...ooh, thank you! | 0:16:47 | 0:16:49 | |
I'm going to give you a word | 0:16:49 | 0:16:51 | |
and you'll have to use it in your excuse. | 0:16:51 | 0:16:53 | |
When I get bored, I'll use my bell again... | 0:16:53 | 0:16:55 | |
CLANG! | 0:16:55 | 0:16:57 | |
..and your team-mate will carry on the story with a new word. | 0:16:57 | 0:17:00 | |
Harley's team, you're up first, we'll start with you, Harley. | 0:17:00 | 0:17:04 | |
Your word, to start with, is "doughnut". | 0:17:04 | 0:17:07 | |
-So - hi, Harley. You well? -Um, I... | 0:17:07 | 0:17:10 | |
Where's my homework? You haven't handed in the homework? | 0:17:10 | 0:17:12 | |
-See, I've got something to say. -Oh, dear. | 0:17:12 | 0:17:15 | |
I was at home and I was eating my breakfast | 0:17:15 | 0:17:19 | |
and then my hamster, called Mr Doughnut... | 0:17:19 | 0:17:23 | |
Mr Doughnut? | 0:17:23 | 0:17:25 | |
Yes, his name is Mr Doughnut. Basically... | 0:17:25 | 0:17:27 | |
You keep saying "doughnut", we're moving on. | 0:17:27 | 0:17:30 | |
OK. Our next word is "b-b-bonkers". | 0:17:30 | 0:17:34 | |
Well, basically, I was about to come to school | 0:17:34 | 0:17:36 | |
and then the hamster, Mr Doughnut, got called to the circus | 0:17:36 | 0:17:39 | |
and I had to take Mr Doughnut to the circus | 0:17:39 | 0:17:41 | |
and at the circus, they were doing trapeze acts, and they were like... | 0:17:41 | 0:17:44 | |
CLANG! | 0:17:44 | 0:17:45 | |
I wonder what else they were doing, Fran. | 0:17:45 | 0:17:47 | |
Your word is objection. | 0:17:47 | 0:17:50 | |
Erm, and they were doing a lot of trapeze acts, | 0:17:50 | 0:17:52 | |
but the thing is, they were doing trapeze acts in a school hall, | 0:17:52 | 0:17:56 | |
which the caretaker had great objection to... | 0:17:56 | 0:17:59 | |
-Oh - health and safety in those places, nightmare. -Nightmare. | 0:17:59 | 0:18:03 | |
Why was it a nightmare, Harley? Your word is "chinchilla". | 0:18:03 | 0:18:06 | |
Because it's just these stupid chinchillas! | 0:18:06 | 0:18:10 | |
They just run everywhere and just poo everywhere! | 0:18:10 | 0:18:15 | |
-It is very disgusting. -So why didn't you hand in your homework? | 0:18:15 | 0:18:19 | |
Because... | 0:18:19 | 0:18:22 | |
ADIL WHISPERS Shh! No. | 0:18:22 | 0:18:24 | |
-Because my hamster, Mr Doughnut... -Yeah... | 0:18:24 | 0:18:28 | |
-..ate my homework... -No... | 0:18:28 | 0:18:30 | |
..then the chinchillas ate Mr Doughnut. | 0:18:30 | 0:18:34 | |
Oh, no! | 0:18:34 | 0:18:36 | |
So I cannot hand in my homework. | 0:18:36 | 0:18:38 | |
And I would like everybody to attend Mr Doughnut's funeral... | 0:18:38 | 0:18:42 | |
IAIN LAUGHS | 0:18:42 | 0:18:43 | |
Give it up for Harley's team, everybody! | 0:18:43 | 0:18:45 | |
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING | 0:18:45 | 0:18:47 | |
All right, so we're over to Jamie's team. | 0:18:52 | 0:18:56 | |
-Jamie, your word is "pineapple". -"S"! | 0:18:56 | 0:18:59 | |
Jamie, just going to ask you, where's...? | 0:18:59 | 0:19:02 | |
-ANNOUNCER: -SCHOOL DISCO! | 0:19:02 | 0:19:05 | |
School disco! | 0:19:05 | 0:19:06 | |
MUSIC: Best Day Of My Life by American Authors | 0:19:06 | 0:19:09 | |
# This is gonna be the best day of my life | 0:19:09 | 0:19:13 | |
# My li-i-i-fe | 0:19:13 | 0:19:16 | |
# Oo-o-o-o-ooh | 0:19:16 | 0:19:18 | |
# This is gonna be the best day of my life | 0:19:18 | 0:19:23 | |
# My li-i-i... # | 0:19:23 | 0:19:24 | |
RECORD SCRATCHES | 0:19:24 | 0:19:26 | |
So, Jamie, where's your homework, mate? | 0:19:28 | 0:19:30 | |
Well, I was walking to school, and I came across this rather | 0:19:30 | 0:19:35 | |
quite large, pineapple. | 0:19:35 | 0:19:37 | |
-No. How big are we talking? Use Dan as an example. -Massive! | 0:19:37 | 0:19:42 | |
No, bigger than that, Dan. | 0:19:42 | 0:19:45 | |
-Yeah, that's it. -That big? | 0:19:45 | 0:19:47 | |
And apparently, there was this old guy, | 0:19:47 | 0:19:50 | |
and he was selling this pineapple. | 0:19:50 | 0:19:53 | |
He said that it was magic and it could create homework. | 0:19:53 | 0:19:57 | |
I wonder why it was magic... | 0:19:57 | 0:19:59 | |
-CLANG! -..Dan - your word is "cat". | 0:19:59 | 0:20:01 | |
It was magic, because the homework, all of a sudden, | 0:20:01 | 0:20:07 | |
started to attract cats from the nearest neighbourhoods. | 0:20:07 | 0:20:09 | |
And as all the cats gathered around the homework, they all started... | 0:20:09 | 0:20:13 | |
-CLANG! -They all started what, Jack? | 0:20:13 | 0:20:15 | |
Your word is "perpendicular". | 0:20:15 | 0:20:18 | |
They all started forming a line, two lines, | 0:20:18 | 0:20:21 | |
one of which was perpendicular to the other one. | 0:20:21 | 0:20:24 | |
-APPLAUSE -Yeah! Yeah! | 0:20:24 | 0:20:28 | |
Wait, wait, wait - | 0:20:28 | 0:20:29 | |
-you're getting a gold star for that. -Great, great. | 0:20:29 | 0:20:32 | |
AUDIENCE: Ooh! | 0:20:32 | 0:20:35 | |
But then, it turns out this pineapple... | 0:20:35 | 0:20:37 | |
CLANG! | 0:20:37 | 0:20:38 | |
This pineapple was what, Jamie? Your word's "bazooka". | 0:20:38 | 0:20:41 | |
This pineapple had also other magic powers - it could fire out, | 0:20:41 | 0:20:46 | |
like, bazooka-like...pineapple rings. | 0:20:46 | 0:20:49 | |
It was so weird, it was going all over the place. | 0:20:49 | 0:20:53 | |
Everything was covered. Gammon had pineapple on it... | 0:20:53 | 0:20:57 | |
It was fending off all the cats cos it didn't want them | 0:20:57 | 0:21:00 | |
to rip up the homework, but sadly and unfortunately, | 0:21:00 | 0:21:04 | |
a cat ripped up my homework, | 0:21:04 | 0:21:06 | |
so that's why I don't have it today. | 0:21:06 | 0:21:09 | |
You're saying, "The cat ate my homework"? | 0:21:09 | 0:21:13 | |
-Yes. -Well, there you go. Give it up for Jamie's team, everybody. | 0:21:13 | 0:21:16 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:21:16 | 0:21:18 | |
Please make some noise if you're a fan of Harley's. | 0:21:19 | 0:21:22 | |
Give me a cheer... | 0:21:22 | 0:21:23 | |
CHEERING | 0:21:23 | 0:21:26 | |
Oh, it's loud. Oh, it's loud. | 0:21:26 | 0:21:29 | |
Oh, it's loud. | 0:21:29 | 0:21:32 | |
OK, OK, OK - or, if you're more a fan of the bazooka pineapple, | 0:21:32 | 0:21:36 | |
make some noise for Jamie's team. | 0:21:36 | 0:21:38 | |
LOUDER CHEERS | 0:21:38 | 0:21:41 | |
There you go - the gold star goes to Jamie's team! | 0:21:47 | 0:21:50 | |
OK, OK...let's calm down for a bit. | 0:21:56 | 0:22:00 | |
Imagine we're back in merrie ye olde England, | 0:22:00 | 0:22:03 | |
where brave knights would mount trusty steeds | 0:22:03 | 0:22:06 | |
and do battle for the heart of a proud maidens. | 0:22:06 | 0:22:09 | |
Now, come out of that dream and imagine two idiots | 0:22:09 | 0:22:11 | |
with spikes on their heads attacking lots of balloons. | 0:22:11 | 0:22:14 | |
Yes it's Pop-A-Lot, the game they would have played in the olden days | 0:22:14 | 0:22:18 | |
if only they discovered rubber. | 0:22:18 | 0:22:20 | |
One grown-up from each team will go head to head - literally - | 0:22:21 | 0:22:24 | |
using these balloon jousting helmets. | 0:22:24 | 0:22:28 | |
They must compete to see who can pop the most balloons before the bell. | 0:22:28 | 0:22:33 | |
Jamie, can you pick your Pop-A-Lotter? | 0:22:33 | 0:22:36 | |
I'm going to have to pick Dan for this one. | 0:22:36 | 0:22:38 | |
Yes, I will, I will take this on. | 0:22:38 | 0:22:40 | |
What about you, Harley? Who are you going to go with? | 0:22:40 | 0:22:43 | |
-I'm going to give Fran a go. -OK, guys, get your helmets | 0:22:43 | 0:22:47 | |
and make your way to the jousting area. | 0:22:47 | 0:22:50 | |
FANFARE | 0:22:50 | 0:22:52 | |
MUSIC PLAYS | 0:22:56 | 0:23:00 | |
Lords and ladies, please welcome Sir Dan and Sir Fran! | 0:23:00 | 0:23:05 | |
Get in there. Be careful - those horses are wild, aren't they, Dan? | 0:23:08 | 0:23:12 | |
They are! | 0:23:12 | 0:23:15 | |
WHINNYING, HOOVES CLATTER | 0:23:15 | 0:23:18 | |
OK - lords and ye olde ladies, | 0:23:23 | 0:23:26 | |
I now declare this tourney beguneth! | 0:23:26 | 0:23:29 | |
Three, two, one...go! | 0:23:29 | 0:23:32 | |
DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS | 0:23:32 | 0:23:34 | |
SHOUTS OF ENCOURAGEMENT | 0:23:34 | 0:23:37 | |
Get your head right in there! | 0:23:38 | 0:23:40 | |
Go on, Dan! Go on, Dan! Whoa! | 0:23:40 | 0:23:44 | |
Get your head lower! | 0:23:44 | 0:23:46 | |
Get the ones on top! Get the ones on top! | 0:23:46 | 0:23:49 | |
Get your head lower, Dan! | 0:23:49 | 0:23:51 | |
Dan! | 0:23:52 | 0:23:54 | |
Sir Fran is dominating! | 0:23:55 | 0:23:56 | |
Get it! | 0:23:58 | 0:23:59 | |
Go! | 0:24:01 | 0:24:02 | |
Go on! Keep going, keep going! | 0:24:04 | 0:24:07 | |
Don't sit on your horse, Dan! | 0:24:10 | 0:24:12 | |
Come on, Fran! | 0:24:14 | 0:24:16 | |
Dan, that was a shocker! | 0:24:21 | 0:24:23 | |
-SCHOOL BELL RINGS -That's it! Stop! Stop! Stop! | 0:24:23 | 0:24:27 | |
Well, I was worried this game was going to be a difficult decision... | 0:24:27 | 0:24:32 | |
-LAUGHTER -It's not my fault! It's this horse! | 0:24:32 | 0:24:35 | |
-What did he do? -He wouldn't...take me in the right direction. | 0:24:35 | 0:24:39 | |
-IAIN LAUGHS -Did you burst any? -Excuse me! | 0:24:39 | 0:24:43 | |
I've done at least six! | 0:24:43 | 0:24:45 | |
Well, you don't have to be a scientist like Fran | 0:24:45 | 0:24:47 | |
to know that Fran won there, so the gold star goes to Harley's team! | 0:24:47 | 0:24:51 | |
Well, I've taught you all I can. | 0:25:02 | 0:25:04 | |
It's time to find out who are our top dogs, | 0:25:04 | 0:25:06 | |
and who are our bottom badgers. | 0:25:06 | 0:25:08 | |
Who will be facing detention with Mr Smash? | 0:25:08 | 0:25:12 | |
MR SMASH MUNCHES | 0:25:12 | 0:25:15 | |
MR SMASH BREAKS WIND | 0:25:21 | 0:25:23 | |
AUDIENCE: Ugh! | 0:25:23 | 0:25:24 | |
I'll...yeah, I'll keep that. | 0:25:25 | 0:25:27 | |
Oh, dear - it's time to find out which team are swotty, | 0:25:29 | 0:25:32 | |
and which team are... | 0:25:32 | 0:25:33 | |
AUDIENCE: NOT-TY! | 0:25:33 | 0:25:36 | |
AUDIENCE: Ooh... | 0:25:36 | 0:25:38 | |
Congratulations to... | 0:25:42 | 0:25:44 | |
Harley's team! | 0:25:44 | 0:25:46 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:25:46 | 0:25:49 | |
Well done, guys. You're a shining example to us all. | 0:25:53 | 0:25:57 | |
Unlucky, Jamie's team - you're the losers, | 0:25:57 | 0:25:59 | |
which means you need to hand your homework over | 0:25:59 | 0:26:02 | |
to a dog...more specifically, this dog. | 0:26:02 | 0:26:04 | |
Here he is. | 0:26:04 | 0:26:06 | |
And guys, it's time to take the walk of shame. | 0:26:09 | 0:26:13 | |
# La-la-la, la-la-la, losers | 0:26:13 | 0:26:15 | |
# La-la-la, la-la-la, losers | 0:26:15 | 0:26:17 | |
# La-la-la, la-la-la, losers | 0:26:17 | 0:26:19 | |
# La-la-la, la-la-la, losers | 0:26:19 | 0:26:21 | |
# La-la-la, la-la-la, losers | 0:26:21 | 0:26:24 | |
# Losers! # | 0:26:24 | 0:26:25 | |
OK - well done to the winners, Fran, Harley and Adil! | 0:26:25 | 0:26:30 | |
You do get to hand in your homework. | 0:26:33 | 0:26:35 | |
Hand over your homework, hand it over. | 0:26:35 | 0:26:38 | |
# La-la-la, la-la-la-la | 0:26:38 | 0:26:39 | |
# You are the winners! # | 0:26:39 | 0:26:41 | |
Thank you very much, cheers. | 0:26:41 | 0:26:44 | |
OK, let's have the losers back in for detention with Mr Smash! | 0:26:44 | 0:26:48 | |
Mr Smash, take it away! | 0:26:48 | 0:26:50 | |
# La-la-la, la-la-la, losers | 0:26:50 | 0:26:52 | |
# La-la-la, la-la-la, losers | 0:26:52 | 0:26:54 | |
# La-la-la, la-la-la, losers | 0:26:54 | 0:26:55 | |
# La-la-la, la-la-la, losers | 0:26:55 | 0:26:58 | |
# Losers. # | 0:26:58 | 0:26:59 | |
MR SMASH BREAKS WIND | 0:26:59 | 0:27:03 | |
Oh-ho-ho! | 0:27:07 | 0:27:09 | |
All right. Well, tell you what, we didn't learn much, | 0:27:09 | 0:27:12 | |
but we had fun trying. | 0:27:12 | 0:27:14 | |
See you next time on... | 0:27:14 | 0:27:16 | |
AUDIENCE: ..THE DOG ATE MY HOMEWORK! | 0:27:16 | 0:27:19 | |
See ya! | 0:27:19 | 0:27:21 | |
BURPING | 0:27:21 | 0:27:24 |
