Episode 1 The Dog Ate My Homework
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Transcript
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Hi, guys. Just came in to wish you all the best of luck. | 0:00:02 | 0:00:04 | |
Mr Smash, no scaring the children, please. | 0:00:04 | 0:00:05 | |
That'd be really appreciated. | 0:00:05 | 0:00:07 | |
And Dog, no practical jokes, OK, mate? | 0:00:07 | 0:00:10 | |
No practical jokes before the show. Good luck, everyone! | 0:00:10 | 0:00:13 | |
HE SCREAMS | 0:00:19 | 0:00:22 | |
BELL RINGS | 0:00:22 | 0:00:24 | |
TEACHER SHOUTS | 0:00:24 | 0:00:25 | |
DINOSAUR SCREECHES | 0:00:28 | 0:00:30 | |
SHARK GROWLS | 0:00:32 | 0:00:33 | |
MONSTER ROARS | 0:00:38 | 0:00:40 | |
PHONE RINGS | 0:00:40 | 0:00:43 | |
OCTOPUS ROARS | 0:00:44 | 0:00:46 | |
DOG BARKS | 0:00:49 | 0:00:51 | |
Hola, amigos! | 0:01:02 | 0:01:04 | |
I'm Ian Stirling. And welcome to The Dog Ate My Homework. | 0:01:04 | 0:01:07 | |
Yes. Let me be your captain on the good ship Entertainment. | 0:01:07 | 0:01:12 | |
HIGH-PITCHED: Honk, honk! Next stop, Laughterville. | 0:01:12 | 0:01:16 | |
So, let's take the register. | 0:01:16 | 0:01:19 | |
On my right, a girl who says she's great at making decisions. | 0:01:19 | 0:01:23 | |
No, no, wait. She says she's not good at making decisions. | 0:01:23 | 0:01:26 | |
No, no - she's good at making decisions. | 0:01:26 | 0:01:28 | |
She's changed her mind again. Ladies and gentlemen, it is Tiah! | 0:01:28 | 0:01:32 | |
Here, sir! | 0:01:32 | 0:01:34 | |
And on Tiah's team, a man who's burst onto the comedy scene. | 0:01:34 | 0:01:38 | |
Basically, he's terrible at making balloon animals | 0:01:38 | 0:01:40 | |
but, luckily, brilliant at school-based panel shows. | 0:01:40 | 0:01:43 | |
It's Matthew Crosby! | 0:01:43 | 0:01:45 | |
Here, sir. | 0:01:45 | 0:01:47 | |
Also on Tiah's team, | 0:01:47 | 0:01:49 | |
someone who became an actress so she didn't have a job that involved her | 0:01:49 | 0:01:52 | |
spending all day sat behind a desk. | 0:01:52 | 0:01:55 | |
That's her there, sat behind a desk. | 0:01:55 | 0:01:57 | |
-It's Dominique Moore! -Here, sir! | 0:01:57 | 0:02:02 | |
And to my left, the boy whose ambition is to live at Number 10. | 0:02:02 | 0:02:07 | |
He currently lives at number eight. | 0:02:07 | 0:02:09 | |
But Number 10 is just a little bit nearer the sweet shop. | 0:02:09 | 0:02:11 | |
-It's Noah! -Here, sir. | 0:02:11 | 0:02:14 | |
And on Noah's team, | 0:02:15 | 0:02:17 | |
a CBBC presenter who has been described as much better than that | 0:02:17 | 0:02:20 | |
Scottish bloke who used to blether on to a stuffed dog all day - | 0:02:20 | 0:02:24 | |
I have no idea who they're talking about. | 0:02:24 | 0:02:26 | |
-It's Lauren Layfield! -Here, sir. | 0:02:26 | 0:02:30 | |
And finally, on Noah's team, | 0:02:30 | 0:02:32 | |
a fashion blogger who once set up a business selling origami clothing. | 0:02:32 | 0:02:36 | |
Not surprisingly, it folded! | 0:02:36 | 0:02:39 | |
She's actually very successful. It's Saima Chowdhury, everybody! | 0:02:39 | 0:02:42 | |
Here, sir. | 0:02:42 | 0:02:44 | |
Please give it up for both today's teams! | 0:02:44 | 0:02:49 | |
So what's it all about, then? | 0:02:52 | 0:02:55 | |
Thanks for asking. | 0:02:55 | 0:02:56 | |
Our teams are going to battle it out to see who cuts the mustard, | 0:02:56 | 0:02:59 | |
and whose brains are like custard. | 0:02:59 | 0:03:01 | |
And what they're all after are these gold stars made of actual gold. | 0:03:01 | 0:03:06 | |
AUDIENCE: OOH! | 0:03:06 | 0:03:08 | |
A very camp audience today, I like it. | 0:03:08 | 0:03:11 | |
As ever, I'll award bonus stars if you do something amazing | 0:03:11 | 0:03:15 | |
and I get a little tickle in my tummy. | 0:03:15 | 0:03:16 | |
Although sometimes that might just be wind. | 0:03:16 | 0:03:19 | |
HE PASSES WIND | 0:03:19 | 0:03:20 | |
Sorry about that. But any cheek and I can send them right back again. | 0:03:20 | 0:03:25 | |
AUDIENCE: AW! | 0:03:25 | 0:03:27 | |
I know it's harsh, but, hey, I don't make the rules. | 0:03:27 | 0:03:30 | |
No, wait, I do make the rules. | 0:03:30 | 0:03:31 | |
Otherwise I wouldn't have my awesome catchphrase - | 0:03:31 | 0:03:33 | |
because it's Ian's school, so it's... | 0:03:33 | 0:03:35 | |
ALL: Ian's rules! | 0:03:35 | 0:03:38 | |
The team with the most stars at the end of the show | 0:03:38 | 0:03:40 | |
are crowned the winners while the losers face detention with a man | 0:03:40 | 0:03:43 | |
so dense that even when he wears ten rubber rings, he still sinks. | 0:03:43 | 0:03:47 | |
It's Mr Smash! | 0:03:47 | 0:03:49 | |
HE ROARS | 0:03:49 | 0:03:51 | |
AUDIENCE BOOS | 0:03:51 | 0:03:52 | |
Smashy, if you're ready, mate, | 0:03:52 | 0:03:55 | |
because we got an e-mail earlier from a top telly magazine. | 0:03:55 | 0:03:58 | |
They want you to be on the front cover of their magazine, | 0:03:58 | 0:04:00 | |
they love you so much. MR SMASH LAUGHS BASHFULLY | 0:04:00 | 0:04:03 | |
Yeah. | 0:04:03 | 0:04:04 | |
Wait, wait. Wait, stop, stop, stop. Stop. Smash? Smash! | 0:04:11 | 0:04:15 | |
They're saying they've just seen you in action, | 0:04:15 | 0:04:17 | |
and they want to revoke the offer. | 0:04:17 | 0:04:19 | |
Yeah, they've changed their mind and they want £50 for the cleaning bill. | 0:04:19 | 0:04:23 | |
You just made them throw up on their shoes. | 0:04:23 | 0:04:25 | |
HE SHOUTS AND SCREAMS | 0:04:25 | 0:04:26 | |
That's a real camera. | 0:04:33 | 0:04:35 | |
Let's get on with the show! | 0:04:35 | 0:04:39 | |
Time now for Stick To The Point. | 0:04:42 | 0:04:44 | |
-VOICEOVER: -Stick To The Point! | 0:04:44 | 0:04:47 | |
I'll ask questions and if the teams are too slow, | 0:04:47 | 0:04:49 | |
repeat an answer or just go "ah-bleh-blah-blah-bleh", | 0:04:49 | 0:04:53 | |
I'll put them in the shush position. | 0:04:53 | 0:04:55 | |
Please show me your shush positions, guys! | 0:04:55 | 0:04:57 | |
Shushy positions. Shush position, Noah. | 0:04:57 | 0:05:01 | |
Thank you. But first, I need my stick of Pointiness. | 0:05:01 | 0:05:05 | |
Stick of Pointiness, reveal yourself! | 0:05:05 | 0:05:09 | |
DRAMATIC MUSIC | 0:05:09 | 0:05:11 | |
HE CACKLES | 0:05:20 | 0:05:22 | |
HE COUGHS | 0:05:22 | 0:05:24 | |
I mean, there was a lot more smoke than anyone was anticipating. | 0:05:28 | 0:05:32 | |
There's been a fire, everyone evacuate! | 0:05:32 | 0:05:35 | |
Hang on. That's not even the right stick. | 0:05:35 | 0:05:39 | |
This is the right stick. | 0:05:39 | 0:05:41 | |
OK, guys. The last team speaking wins. | 0:05:41 | 0:05:45 | |
Subject one is things you can pick. | 0:05:45 | 0:05:49 | |
-Saima! -Nose. | 0:05:49 | 0:05:50 | |
-Matthew. -Strawberries. | 0:05:50 | 0:05:52 | |
-Lauren. -Toenails. | 0:05:52 | 0:05:54 | |
Pick your toenails? | 0:05:54 | 0:05:56 | |
Yeah, because sometimes it gets a bit | 0:05:56 | 0:05:58 | |
-of your sock material stuck under the nail. -Ew! -It does! | 0:05:58 | 0:06:01 | |
And then you just tie them all together | 0:06:01 | 0:06:03 | |
and you make yourself a fetching shirt! | 0:06:03 | 0:06:05 | |
-Dominique! -A team name, | 0:06:07 | 0:06:09 | |
because wait, listen for it, our team name is... | 0:06:09 | 0:06:13 | |
-The Winning Team! -Yeah! | 0:06:13 | 0:06:16 | |
We've decided to call ourselves The Winning Team, so even if we lose, | 0:06:16 | 0:06:19 | |
we can still say, "Yes, we were on The Winning Team." | 0:06:19 | 0:06:22 | |
-Yeah, and I'm feeling really confident about this team. -Yeah. | 0:06:22 | 0:06:24 | |
For the first time, I think I might be on a winning team. | 0:06:24 | 0:06:27 | |
Oh, yeah. I should mention to Tiah at this point that Dominique | 0:06:27 | 0:06:30 | |
has been on four series of Dog Ate My Homework | 0:06:30 | 0:06:32 | |
and how many times have you won? | 0:06:32 | 0:06:33 | |
Well, I haven't actually won yet, so that's what I'm saying, is... | 0:06:33 | 0:06:36 | |
Tiah, Tiah, we're shifting teams. | 0:06:36 | 0:06:38 | |
-We're going over there. -No, no, because I feel really positive | 0:06:38 | 0:06:40 | |
about this team, and I've got tactics... | 0:06:40 | 0:06:42 | |
-We're off, we're. Sorry, we're off. -..up my sleeves! -We're leaving. | 0:06:42 | 0:06:45 | |
-Guys! -We're going. -We'll do one round. Come this side, actually. | 0:06:45 | 0:06:48 | |
We'll do five on one and see how Dominique does. | 0:06:48 | 0:06:50 | |
Yeah! Yeah, let's do it. | 0:06:50 | 0:06:52 | |
-Here we go. -All right. -Things you can pick. | 0:06:52 | 0:06:55 | |
-How are you feeling, Dominique? -I feel lonely. | 0:06:55 | 0:06:58 | |
Right here we go, Matthew! | 0:06:58 | 0:07:00 | |
-Your nose. -BUZZER | 0:07:00 | 0:07:02 | |
You've already had that, shush position! | 0:07:02 | 0:07:04 | |
Dominique, it's looking good. | 0:07:04 | 0:07:06 | |
-Back to the other team. -Noah! Noah! | 0:07:06 | 0:07:08 | |
-Um... -Hesitation, shush position. -OH! -Dominique! | 0:07:08 | 0:07:11 | |
-Yeah? -Dominique. -Handwriting styles, because I've been doodling. | 0:07:11 | 0:07:15 | |
Here, I've written doodle, "doodle, doodle, doodle" | 0:07:15 | 0:07:18 | |
and I've chosen different handwriting styles | 0:07:18 | 0:07:21 | |
-for each time I've written doodle. -Lauren! | 0:07:21 | 0:07:24 | |
-Good, that's good. -Hesitation, shush position! | 0:07:24 | 0:07:27 | |
It's two on one! Dominique might do this! | 0:07:27 | 0:07:29 | |
-Saima! -Ears. | 0:07:29 | 0:07:31 | |
-Dominique? -A husband. | 0:07:31 | 0:07:34 | |
I mean, you can pick one of them. | 0:07:36 | 0:07:38 | |
You must get consent first when picking a husband. | 0:07:38 | 0:07:40 | |
Oh, OK, OK! | 0:07:40 | 0:07:42 | |
-Tiah. -Birds pick seeds! | 0:07:42 | 0:07:45 | |
Birds pick seeds? | 0:07:45 | 0:07:47 | |
It's things YOU can pick, shush position! | 0:07:47 | 0:07:50 | |
BUZZER | 0:07:50 | 0:07:51 | |
We might have a five on one victory here! | 0:07:51 | 0:07:54 | |
-Saima... -Come on, Saima! -..Versus Dominique. | 0:07:54 | 0:07:56 | |
-Here we go. -Let's do it, let's do it. -Saima! | 0:07:56 | 0:07:58 | |
-Pizza toppings. -Yes. | 0:07:58 | 0:08:00 | |
-Dominique! -Places to go on holiday! | 0:08:00 | 0:08:02 | |
-Saima! -My favourite actor. | 0:08:02 | 0:08:04 | |
-Saima. -What? | 0:08:04 | 0:08:07 | |
-Oh, no! -Hesitation, Dominique wins! | 0:08:07 | 0:08:10 | |
Come on over. Come back over! | 0:08:14 | 0:08:16 | |
SAIMA: This is unfair! | 0:08:16 | 0:08:18 | |
-Thank you. -A gold star to Tiah's team. | 0:08:18 | 0:08:20 | |
-Thank you. -And Dominique, | 0:08:20 | 0:08:22 | |
I'm giving you a bonus gold star for your first ever five-on-one victory! | 0:08:22 | 0:08:26 | |
Time now for some general knowledge with... | 0:08:33 | 0:08:36 | |
-VOICEOVER: -Watch Your Mouth. | 0:08:36 | 0:08:37 | |
-Yes. It's time for Watch Your Mouth. VOICEOVER: -Watch Your Mouth. | 0:08:37 | 0:08:41 | |
Where our teams have to try and talk properly while they've got one of | 0:08:41 | 0:08:44 | |
these in their gobs. | 0:08:44 | 0:08:46 | |
It is a Mr Smash growl maker. | 0:08:46 | 0:08:51 | |
So, teams, can you please insert your Mr Smash growl makers. | 0:08:51 | 0:08:56 | |
Lovely. That looks very handsome. | 0:08:56 | 0:08:59 | |
OK, it's very simple, I'm going to | 0:08:59 | 0:09:01 | |
ask some general knowledge questions. | 0:09:01 | 0:09:03 | |
All you have to do is buzz in and give me the answer. | 0:09:03 | 0:09:05 | |
If I understand your answer, you get yourself a gold star. | 0:09:05 | 0:09:08 | |
Are you guys ready? Fingers on the buzzers. | 0:09:08 | 0:09:10 | |
What word beginning with B is used to describe a large rock? | 0:09:10 | 0:09:15 | |
-VOICEOVER: -Tiah. -Tiah's team. | 0:09:15 | 0:09:16 | |
OW! | 0:09:16 | 0:09:18 | |
SHE MUMBLES | 0:09:18 | 0:09:20 | |
What? | 0:09:20 | 0:09:22 | |
A boulder. | 0:09:22 | 0:09:24 | |
-Boulder, I'll give you that! -Yeah! Yeah! | 0:09:24 | 0:09:26 | |
Now, all you have to do now is name the three things | 0:09:26 | 0:09:28 | |
bigger than a boulder. | 0:09:28 | 0:09:30 | |
-The Statue of Liberty. -Good. | 0:09:30 | 0:09:33 | |
-The Statue of Liberty's bigger than a boulder. What else? -A mountain? | 0:09:33 | 0:09:36 | |
A mountain! | 0:09:36 | 0:09:37 | |
The mountain, she looks so stupid! | 0:09:37 | 0:09:39 | |
-Mount Everest! -Huh? | 0:09:39 | 0:09:41 | |
-Mount Everest! -Mount Everest! | 0:09:41 | 0:09:44 | |
This is the most mad thing that's ever happened to me! | 0:09:45 | 0:09:48 | |
OK, I'll give you that. I'll give you that as well. | 0:09:48 | 0:09:50 | |
Yay! But fingers back on the buzzers. | 0:09:50 | 0:09:52 | |
Name the Little Mix song... | 0:09:52 | 0:09:54 | |
-VOICEOVER: -Tiah, Tiah. | 0:09:54 | 0:09:56 | |
-Oh, no. -Right, wait, wait. | 0:09:56 | 0:09:59 | |
Name the Little Mix song title to these lyrics. | 0:09:59 | 0:10:03 | |
-"Take a sip of a..." VOICEOVER: -Noah. | 0:10:03 | 0:10:05 | |
-A sweet sensation! -Black Magic. -Black Magic's correct! | 0:10:05 | 0:10:08 | |
# Take a sip of a secret... # | 0:10:10 | 0:10:12 | |
And for a bonus point, can you sing the song to me? | 0:10:12 | 0:10:16 | |
-Yes, OK. -Go. | 0:10:16 | 0:10:18 | |
# Take a sip of my secret potion, I'll make you fall in love | 0:10:18 | 0:10:22 | |
# For a spell that can't be broken, one sip will be enough. | 0:10:22 | 0:10:26 | |
# You belong to me, I've got the recipe, it's called black magic, | 0:10:26 | 0:10:31 | |
# It's called black magic, yeah! # | 0:10:31 | 0:10:34 | |
Lauren looks like the girl band member | 0:10:34 | 0:10:36 | |
that they just sort of keep at the back. | 0:10:36 | 0:10:39 | |
She's just there dribbling. | 0:10:39 | 0:10:42 | |
Lauren, what would your girl band be called? | 0:10:42 | 0:10:44 | |
-Dribble Mix! -Dribble Mix, is that right? | 0:10:44 | 0:10:48 | |
OK. You're insane. | 0:10:48 | 0:10:51 | |
Next one. Fingers on buzzers. | 0:10:51 | 0:10:53 | |
What happens to ice when heated above 0 Celsius? | 0:10:53 | 0:10:56 | |
-VOICEOVER: -Tiah. -Water. | 0:10:56 | 0:10:59 | |
-Huh? -It turns to water. -It tastes like water? | 0:10:59 | 0:11:02 | |
-No! It melts. It melts, into water. -It melts. | 0:11:02 | 0:11:06 | |
OK. For a bonus point, have a little drink of water for a gold star. | 0:11:06 | 0:11:10 | |
-Oh, dear. -Oh. Go. -Everyone. | 0:11:10 | 0:11:12 | |
All three of you, drink of water for a gold star. | 0:11:12 | 0:11:15 | |
Here we go. Little drink of water. | 0:11:15 | 0:11:17 | |
Oh, no! It looks like she's weed herself! | 0:11:20 | 0:11:24 | |
-It looks like she's weed herself! -Matthew's weed his pants! | 0:11:26 | 0:11:31 | |
-Can I take it out? -Have a little sit down, everyone. | 0:11:33 | 0:11:37 | |
You all get yourself three bonus gold stars for drinking the water. | 0:11:37 | 0:11:40 | |
-Well done. -Three? -Three. | 0:11:40 | 0:11:42 | |
OK. Fingers on buzzers, we've still got more questions! | 0:11:46 | 0:11:50 | |
What small, flightless bird is native to New Zealand, | 0:11:50 | 0:11:53 | |
-where it is... VOICEOVER: -Noah. | 0:11:53 | 0:11:55 | |
-Yes? -The kiwi. Is it the kiwi? -Kiwi! | 0:11:55 | 0:12:02 | |
Ki... | 0:12:02 | 0:12:05 | |
Kiwi. | 0:12:06 | 0:12:08 | |
THEY LAUGH | 0:12:08 | 0:12:09 | |
Say it again! Say it again! Say "kiwi"! | 0:12:12 | 0:12:17 | |
Say it again! Lauren's trying to say "kiwi"! | 0:12:17 | 0:12:22 | |
-Say "kiwi" again. -It's the ki... | 0:12:22 | 0:12:26 | |
THEY LAUGH | 0:12:26 | 0:12:28 | |
Give you a gold... | 0:12:30 | 0:12:32 | |
I mean, a bonus gold star for that as well. | 0:12:32 | 0:12:35 | |
The kiwi is a bird. | 0:12:35 | 0:12:36 | |
So for three bonus stars, | 0:12:36 | 0:12:38 | |
name me three animals beginning with the letter B. | 0:12:38 | 0:12:42 | |
-VOICEOVER: -Noah. | 0:12:42 | 0:12:43 | |
-A bee. -A bee, correct. | 0:12:43 | 0:12:46 | |
Baboon. Baboon! | 0:12:46 | 0:12:48 | |
A what? | 0:12:48 | 0:12:50 | |
A baboon. | 0:12:50 | 0:12:52 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:12:52 | 0:12:54 | |
-Baboon! -A Baboon, I'll give you that one! And finally... | 0:13:00 | 0:13:03 | |
Lauren's lost it! She's absolutely lost it! Lauren. | 0:13:03 | 0:13:09 | |
One more animal beginning with B. | 0:13:09 | 0:13:10 | |
For the gold star, Lauren. | 0:13:10 | 0:13:13 | |
-Quick! -Go ahead! -Lauren, go. | 0:13:13 | 0:13:15 | |
Bear. | 0:13:15 | 0:13:16 | |
-Bear. -Bear! -She's crying! | 0:13:16 | 0:13:21 | |
Are you upset or enjoying yourself? | 0:13:23 | 0:13:25 | |
-I'm really happy right now! -Right, I'll give you... | 0:13:25 | 0:13:28 | |
BUZZER RINGS | 0:13:28 | 0:13:29 | |
Oh, that's the end of the round, everyone! | 0:13:29 | 0:13:31 | |
CHEERING | 0:13:31 | 0:13:34 | |
You can take them out. You can take them out. | 0:13:34 | 0:13:37 | |
And I can reveal that at the end of that round, | 0:13:37 | 0:13:40 | |
the gold star for winning the round goes to... | 0:13:40 | 0:13:42 | |
Tiah's team, everybody! | 0:13:42 | 0:13:45 | |
This next round is flan-tastic! | 0:13:52 | 0:13:55 | |
It's only Pie the Supply. | 0:13:55 | 0:13:58 | |
-VOICEOVER: -Pie the Supply. School disco! | 0:13:58 | 0:14:03 | |
School disco! | 0:14:03 | 0:14:05 | |
# Oh, oh, oh | 0:14:05 | 0:14:07 | |
# I was a king under your control | 0:14:07 | 0:14:11 | |
# Oh, oh, oh | 0:14:11 | 0:14:15 | |
# I want to feel like you've let me go | 0:14:15 | 0:14:19 | |
# So let me go... # | 0:14:19 | 0:14:21 | |
OK. As you can see, | 0:14:23 | 0:14:25 | |
waiting nervously over yonder are four people all claiming to be | 0:14:25 | 0:14:29 | |
geography teachers, but only one is the real deal. | 0:14:29 | 0:14:33 | |
The other three I just grabbed off the street! | 0:14:33 | 0:14:37 | |
All our teams have to do is identify and then Pie The Supply. | 0:14:37 | 0:14:42 | |
So here are our geography teachers. | 0:14:42 | 0:14:45 | |
Teacher one, Mrs March, | 0:14:45 | 0:14:48 | |
teacher two, Mr Wilson, | 0:14:48 | 0:14:50 | |
teacher three, Miss McCall, | 0:14:50 | 0:14:53 | |
and teacher four, Mr Gralanda. | 0:14:53 | 0:14:56 | |
OK. Tiah's team, first impressions. | 0:14:56 | 0:15:00 | |
You're looking at them. Who has a whiff of teacher about them? | 0:15:00 | 0:15:04 | |
Well, I'll say Mr Gralanda. He's got a brand-new shirt. | 0:15:04 | 0:15:07 | |
You can still see the folds from where he's taken it out the packet. | 0:15:07 | 0:15:10 | |
That is a nice new shirt. | 0:15:10 | 0:15:12 | |
So he's certainly dressed up for the occasion. | 0:15:12 | 0:15:14 | |
Tiah, you're still at school. | 0:15:14 | 0:15:17 | |
Any of these lot, can you imagine walking in, | 0:15:17 | 0:15:19 | |
seeing them writing their name on their interactive whiteboard. | 0:15:19 | 0:15:22 | |
Hi, 2016, how are you? | 0:15:22 | 0:15:24 | |
Teacher number two looks like a teacher | 0:15:24 | 0:15:27 | |
I've been taught by in school. | 0:15:27 | 0:15:28 | |
Really? | 0:15:28 | 0:15:30 | |
-Oh. -Is that your teacher? -No. -That's cheating. | 0:15:30 | 0:15:33 | |
-Well, it's fine because you're on my team. -No. -That's fine, we can... | 0:15:33 | 0:15:36 | |
-Yeah. -Dominique wants to win so bad, it's hilarious! | 0:15:36 | 0:15:39 | |
So you're thinking two or four. What about Noah's team? | 0:15:39 | 0:15:42 | |
Three's giving me quite evil vibes. Like she might put me in detention. | 0:15:42 | 0:15:49 | |
Like you've been colouring in and you've gone over the lines. | 0:15:49 | 0:15:52 | |
I've gone over them lines! She's noticed. | 0:15:52 | 0:15:54 | |
-She's heading over. -So we've got a few options here. | 0:15:54 | 0:15:57 | |
We're going to get to the question section now. | 0:15:57 | 0:15:59 | |
So Tiah's team, what sort of questions do you want to ask? | 0:15:59 | 0:16:03 | |
I didn't get to do geography at my school. | 0:16:03 | 0:16:06 | |
-Right. -So I'm not 100% sure, you know, what you cover | 0:16:06 | 0:16:11 | |
but can any of you tell me where I live? | 0:16:11 | 0:16:15 | |
Oh, good question! | 0:16:15 | 0:16:17 | |
Matthew, you can go through the teachers in a random order, please. | 0:16:17 | 0:16:20 | |
OK, so let's start with... | 0:16:20 | 0:16:22 | |
We'll start with our favourite, number two. | 0:16:22 | 0:16:24 | |
OK. Where does Dominique live, number two? | 0:16:24 | 0:16:27 | |
Dominique sounds as if she lives in London. | 0:16:27 | 0:16:29 | |
-Oh. -That's cheating! | 0:16:29 | 0:16:32 | |
-Why? -Because that's obvious. | 0:16:32 | 0:16:34 | |
You need to be more specific. | 0:16:34 | 0:16:35 | |
-If you're a geography teacher... -We want a postcode. | 0:16:35 | 0:16:38 | |
Yeah, don't you use those compass things? | 0:16:38 | 0:16:40 | |
Where you... they have to... On the map? | 0:16:40 | 0:16:43 | |
Dominique, you really didn't do geography, did you? | 0:16:43 | 0:16:45 | |
-No. No. -Right, next teacher. -Next teacher? | 0:16:45 | 0:16:48 | |
We'll go with number one. Where do you think, | 0:16:48 | 0:16:50 | |
more specifically than London, Dominique leaves? | 0:16:50 | 0:16:52 | |
OK, what about the west side of London? | 0:16:52 | 0:16:55 | |
-West side? -The west side! | 0:16:55 | 0:16:57 | |
-Is it west side? -Dominique's getting freaked out! | 0:16:57 | 0:16:59 | |
-Oh! -She's good, number one! | 0:16:59 | 0:17:01 | |
Number three. We've gone as far as west side. | 0:17:01 | 0:17:03 | |
Can you be more specific than that? | 0:17:03 | 0:17:05 | |
I would say the west of the west. | 0:17:05 | 0:17:07 | |
-Oh! -West the best in the west of the west. | 0:17:07 | 0:17:10 | |
West west side. | 0:17:10 | 0:17:12 | |
Number four, where does Dominique live? | 0:17:12 | 0:17:14 | |
I would say East End. | 0:17:14 | 0:17:16 | |
East End. | 0:17:16 | 0:17:18 | |
No, OK! What about Noah's team? | 0:17:18 | 0:17:20 | |
Any questions for our geography teachers? | 0:17:20 | 0:17:22 | |
-Any question. -We have a riddle. -OK, a riddle. -Yes. | 0:17:22 | 0:17:25 | |
So, what was the highest mountain before Mount Everest was discovered? | 0:17:25 | 0:17:30 | |
I mean, wow. That's a good question! | 0:17:30 | 0:17:32 | |
I don't know if you think they're geography teachers | 0:17:32 | 0:17:35 | |
or actual geniuses! | 0:17:35 | 0:17:36 | |
Highest mountain before | 0:17:36 | 0:17:38 | |
Mount Everest was discovered, number three? | 0:17:38 | 0:17:41 | |
I'm far too young to know the answer to that. | 0:17:41 | 0:17:43 | |
Can't even be bothered. Doesn't get paid enough. | 0:17:43 | 0:17:45 | |
-OK, number four. -I would say Mount Kilimanjaro. | 0:17:45 | 0:17:49 | |
Oh! OK, and number one? | 0:17:49 | 0:17:51 | |
I would say Mauna Kea, | 0:17:51 | 0:17:53 | |
because below sea level, it's actually the highest mountain. | 0:17:53 | 0:17:57 | |
THEY GASP | 0:17:57 | 0:17:58 | |
Number one is back in the running! | 0:17:58 | 0:18:01 | |
-Number two. -It was Mount Everest, it just hadn't been discovered. | 0:18:01 | 0:18:05 | |
Oh! No, he didn't! | 0:18:05 | 0:18:09 | |
What? | 0:18:09 | 0:18:11 | |
Unbelievably, that's a bonus gold star to number two! | 0:18:11 | 0:18:17 | |
He is now ahead of Noah's team. | 0:18:17 | 0:18:20 | |
Any more questions? Lauren, you seem like you were a naughty kid. | 0:18:20 | 0:18:24 | |
What about any questions for, like, if someone's misbehaving? | 0:18:24 | 0:18:28 | |
I would like to know if, hypothetically, | 0:18:28 | 0:18:30 | |
I took this glass of water and I just poured it straight over Noah. | 0:18:30 | 0:18:35 | |
-Yeah? -What would you say to stop me? Because I'm going to do it. -OK. | 0:18:35 | 0:18:39 | |
-Quick, number one! -I'll say numbers at random. | 0:18:39 | 0:18:41 | |
-Number four! -Don't do it! | 0:18:41 | 0:18:43 | |
I would so disobey that! | 0:18:43 | 0:18:46 | |
-Number one! -Lauren, put that glass down right now! | 0:18:46 | 0:18:50 | |
Number two! Quick, number two! | 0:18:52 | 0:18:54 | |
Lauren, I'm laughing so much that I can't tell you to stop, | 0:18:54 | 0:18:57 | |
so you might as well do it. | 0:18:57 | 0:18:58 | |
We're getting burned by number two constantly. | 0:18:58 | 0:19:02 | |
Number two doesn't teach geography, he teaches bants! | 0:19:02 | 0:19:06 | |
"All right, kids, today we're going to learn how to trip someone up | 0:19:06 | 0:19:10 | |
"when they're running down the corridor!" | 0:19:10 | 0:19:13 | |
-And finally, number three? -Whoa! Whoa! | 0:19:13 | 0:19:15 | |
I would just give you my evil look and say, | 0:19:15 | 0:19:17 | |
"Remember what happened the last time you did that, Lauren." | 0:19:17 | 0:19:20 | |
I do remember. Oh, it was bad. I'll just put that down. | 0:19:20 | 0:19:23 | |
Lauren went to the shops afterwards and bought that shirt. | 0:19:23 | 0:19:26 | |
What do our audience think? This is very important, guys. | 0:19:28 | 0:19:31 | |
You can vote now using your voices. | 0:19:31 | 0:19:34 | |
One, two, three or four. Vote now! | 0:19:34 | 0:19:37 | |
AUDIENCE SHOUT NUMBERS | 0:19:37 | 0:19:40 | |
OK. OK. | 0:19:47 | 0:19:49 | |
A lot of ones, a lot of threes and some twos and fours. | 0:19:49 | 0:19:53 | |
It's a split decision by the audience. | 0:19:53 | 0:19:55 | |
But what do our teams think? | 0:19:55 | 0:19:56 | |
Tiah, you're about to get a real honour. | 0:19:56 | 0:19:59 | |
You're about to pie a teacher in the face. | 0:19:59 | 0:20:02 | |
-It's time for you to Pie The Supply! VOICEOVER: -Pie The Supply. | 0:20:02 | 0:20:08 | |
-Off you go, Tiah. Come on. -OK. -Go on, do it! | 0:20:08 | 0:20:11 | |
-Here we go. -Go on, Tiah. | 0:20:11 | 0:20:13 | |
Here we go. Gently, gently, catchy monkey, Tiah. | 0:20:13 | 0:20:17 | |
-Here we go. -Are you going to be tall enough? -Yeah! | 0:20:17 | 0:20:21 | |
Or bend down a bit, maybe. | 0:20:21 | 0:20:23 | |
Yeah! | 0:20:25 | 0:20:26 | |
ALL: Oh! | 0:20:26 | 0:20:28 | |
Well done, Tiah. | 0:20:34 | 0:20:36 | |
OK, Noah. Pie your supply, my friend! | 0:20:38 | 0:20:42 | |
-VOICEOVER: -Pie The Supply. | 0:20:42 | 0:20:45 | |
On you go, mate. Nice and gently. | 0:20:45 | 0:20:47 | |
Right, there's plenty of cream to go around. | 0:20:47 | 0:20:49 | |
-Oh, it's sloppy, isn't it? -Oh, here we go! | 0:20:49 | 0:20:52 | |
Go on. | 0:20:52 | 0:20:54 | |
ALL: OOH! | 0:20:54 | 0:20:56 | |
I said gently! | 0:21:05 | 0:21:07 | |
-And he's licking his fingers! -He flew back about 15 feet! | 0:21:08 | 0:21:11 | |
-That was amazing. -Are you all right, number two? | 0:21:11 | 0:21:14 | |
OK, let's hope it's number two, because you broke the man, Noah. | 0:21:16 | 0:21:21 | |
Please. Honestly, please be number two. | 0:21:21 | 0:21:23 | |
Would the real geography teacher please step forward? | 0:21:23 | 0:21:27 | |
ALL: No! | 0:21:29 | 0:21:31 | |
Ladies and gentlemen, it's the end of the round. | 0:21:34 | 0:21:38 | |
No-one gets a gold star, but two adults got pied in the face! | 0:21:38 | 0:21:42 | |
Our panel are looking lost, | 0:21:47 | 0:21:49 | |
and not just because they've no idea what's going on. | 0:21:49 | 0:21:52 | |
It's time now for Lost Property. | 0:21:52 | 0:21:55 | |
-VOICEOVER: -Lost Property. | 0:21:55 | 0:21:57 | |
Our teams have to rummage around in a lost property, | 0:21:57 | 0:21:59 | |
looking for items I call out. | 0:21:59 | 0:22:02 | |
They then have to run and put the items on our mannequins | 0:22:02 | 0:22:06 | |
which just happen to be their own team-mates. | 0:22:06 | 0:22:09 | |
The team-mate with the most items on their mannequins... | 0:22:09 | 0:22:13 | |
manne-wins. | 0:22:13 | 0:22:16 | |
Thank you. You'll play till the bell manne-rings. | 0:22:16 | 0:22:21 | |
-Oh, my goodness! -That's all I've got left. | 0:22:21 | 0:22:24 | |
OK, it's time to get lost. | 0:22:24 | 0:22:25 | |
Your time starts when I say the first item - | 0:22:25 | 0:22:28 | |
and you are looking for snow trousers, go! | 0:22:28 | 0:22:32 | |
-Quickly. -Snow trousers, come on, get them on your mannequins! | 0:22:32 | 0:22:36 | |
Get them on your mannequins! | 0:22:36 | 0:22:38 | |
Next item is a sombrero! | 0:22:38 | 0:22:40 | |
Sombrero! Sombrero, need a sombrero. Need a sombrero. | 0:22:40 | 0:22:42 | |
I need a sombrero. | 0:22:42 | 0:22:45 | |
I need some armbands, some armbands, some armbands! | 0:22:45 | 0:22:47 | |
I need armbands, I need armbands. Two armbands ideally. | 0:22:47 | 0:22:50 | |
Some armbands. Get in there! Get in amongst it! | 0:22:50 | 0:22:53 | |
Armbands, we need armbands. | 0:22:53 | 0:22:55 | |
OK, next is schoolbag. Schoolbag, schoolbag and armbands, | 0:22:55 | 0:22:58 | |
schoolbag and armbands. Schoolbag. Schoolbag. | 0:22:58 | 0:23:01 | |
Get the schoolbag on. What about a string of onions? | 0:23:01 | 0:23:04 | |
String of onions, have you got a string of onions? | 0:23:04 | 0:23:06 | |
There's an armband, put the armband on. | 0:23:06 | 0:23:08 | |
String of onions. String of onions. | 0:23:08 | 0:23:10 | |
-We're now looking for a string of onions. -What is this? | 0:23:10 | 0:23:12 | |
Right, a foam hand. A foam hand, we need a foam hand. | 0:23:12 | 0:23:15 | |
Foam hand, a foam hand. A foam hand. | 0:23:15 | 0:23:17 | |
OK, a large bone. We only have one, we need a large bone. | 0:23:17 | 0:23:21 | |
Oh, that's it! Vase. | 0:23:21 | 0:23:22 | |
A vase, a vase, we need a vase. | 0:23:22 | 0:23:25 | |
Be careful with the vase! | 0:23:25 | 0:23:26 | |
VASE SMASHES | 0:23:26 | 0:23:28 | |
OK, clogs, clogs, clogs! Clogs! We need clogs. | 0:23:29 | 0:23:35 | |
Clogs? Here's one. | 0:23:35 | 0:23:37 | |
Clogs. Clogs. Clogs, we need clogs. | 0:23:37 | 0:23:40 | |
We also need a globe. A globe, have you got a globe? | 0:23:40 | 0:23:43 | |
Two globes. Let's say two globes. Two globes. | 0:23:43 | 0:23:46 | |
Two globes. Two globes. | 0:23:46 | 0:23:48 | |
A rubber chicken. Get me a rubber chicken. | 0:23:48 | 0:23:51 | |
Get me a rubber chicken. | 0:23:51 | 0:23:53 | |
Get me a rubber chicken, do we have a rubber chicken? | 0:23:53 | 0:23:55 | |
No? A burger! | 0:23:55 | 0:23:57 | |
A burger. There's one burger. | 0:23:57 | 0:23:59 | |
We want a burger. OK, a tutu. | 0:23:59 | 0:24:01 | |
A tutu. We want a tutu on our contestants. | 0:24:01 | 0:24:04 | |
Get a tutu on! Get the tutu on. | 0:24:04 | 0:24:07 | |
A traffic cone! | 0:24:07 | 0:24:08 | |
A traffic cone is next! | 0:24:08 | 0:24:10 | |
Traffic cone, traffic cone. | 0:24:10 | 0:24:13 | |
OK, next, tennis rackets. | 0:24:13 | 0:24:15 | |
We need tennis rackets, we need tennis rackets! | 0:24:15 | 0:24:18 | |
Tennis rackets. Pirate swords! | 0:24:18 | 0:24:20 | |
Pirate swords. | 0:24:20 | 0:24:22 | |
There's some onions, there's some onions! | 0:24:22 | 0:24:25 | |
Saima, get that on. | 0:24:25 | 0:24:26 | |
Get it on. Onions. | 0:24:26 | 0:24:28 | |
OK. A rubber ring. | 0:24:28 | 0:24:30 | |
A rubber ring is next! | 0:24:30 | 0:24:32 | |
A rubber ring. There's one there. Rubber ring, Dominique. | 0:24:32 | 0:24:35 | |
There's a rubber ring, rubber ring. | 0:24:35 | 0:24:37 | |
OK, a bowling pin. There's only one bowling pin. | 0:24:37 | 0:24:40 | |
Bowling pin, we need a bowling pin. | 0:24:40 | 0:24:42 | |
We need a bowling pin. | 0:24:42 | 0:24:44 | |
We need a bowling pin. | 0:24:44 | 0:24:46 | |
OK, a globe, another... | 0:24:46 | 0:24:47 | |
BUZZER | 0:24:47 | 0:24:49 | |
Oh, stop, stop, stop, stop! Put the pin down. | 0:24:49 | 0:24:51 | |
OK. Well done, teams. | 0:24:52 | 0:24:56 | |
Well, it's time to count up the items. | 0:24:56 | 0:24:59 | |
-Lauren... You may kiss the bride! -Huh? | 0:24:59 | 0:25:02 | |
-Hiya! -Oh hey, pal! OK. | 0:25:02 | 0:25:04 | |
So let's see how many items you got. One, two, three, four... | 0:25:04 | 0:25:09 | |
-Oh, you dropped my onions. -I know, I got that. | 0:25:09 | 0:25:11 | |
..five, six, seven, eight.. | 0:25:11 | 0:25:14 | |
-..nine, ten. -Ten, and the clog! -11. | 0:25:14 | 0:25:19 | |
11 items, OK. | 0:25:19 | 0:25:21 | |
-You need to beat 11. Let's see if you can do it. -OK. | 0:25:24 | 0:25:26 | |
One, two, three, four, | 0:25:26 | 0:25:30 | |
five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, | 0:25:30 | 0:25:36 | |
11, 12, 13! | 0:25:36 | 0:25:38 | |
They've won! They've got it! | 0:25:38 | 0:25:40 | |
The gold star goes to Tiah's team! | 0:25:40 | 0:25:45 | |
It's time to add up the scores, so let's bring down the stars! | 0:25:49 | 0:25:54 | |
ALL: OOH! | 0:25:54 | 0:25:58 | |
The winners are... | 0:26:06 | 0:26:08 | |
Tiah's side! Team Teah! | 0:26:08 | 0:26:12 | |
Dominique has won for the first time in four whole series! | 0:26:14 | 0:26:23 | |
Congratulations, you get to run around the entire... | 0:26:26 | 0:26:30 | |
-Dominique... -I'm so happy! | 0:26:30 | 0:26:34 | |
Normally we have to calm the child down, but today... | 0:26:34 | 0:26:38 | |
-Thanks so much, Tiah! -Well done, your side... | 0:26:38 | 0:26:41 | |
She's all right. She's all right. Give it up for Dominique, everyone. | 0:26:41 | 0:26:44 | |
OK. Well done, Tiah's side. | 0:26:44 | 0:26:47 | |
Well done, Dominique, in particular. | 0:26:47 | 0:26:49 | |
Noah's team, unfortunately you have lost, | 0:26:49 | 0:26:51 | |
which means not only does the dog eat your homework, | 0:26:51 | 0:26:53 | |
but you have detention with Mr Smash. | 0:26:53 | 0:26:56 | |
It's time to take the walk of shame. | 0:26:56 | 0:26:58 | |
-# La, la, la, la, la, la -Losers! | 0:26:58 | 0:27:01 | |
-# La, la, la, la, la, la -Losers! | 0:27:01 | 0:27:03 | |
-# La, la, la, la, la, la -Losers! | 0:27:03 | 0:27:05 | |
-# La, la, la, la, la, la -Losers! | 0:27:05 | 0:27:07 | |
-# La, la, la, la, la, la -Losers! | 0:27:07 | 0:27:09 | |
# Losers! # | 0:27:09 | 0:27:11 | |
So, that's your lot. As ever, we didn't learn much, | 0:27:11 | 0:27:14 | |
but it was fun trying. See you next time on... | 0:27:14 | 0:27:17 | |
AUDIENCE: The Dog Ate My Homework! | 0:27:17 | 0:27:21 | |
See ya! | 0:27:21 | 0:27:23 | |
-Dommy! -Yes, yes, yes! | 0:27:28 | 0:27:31 |