May-Li The Dumping Ground: I'm...

-MIKE:

-Attention! The My Life in Care videos are about to receive their

world premiere in the TV room.

Don't miss these personal takes on what life is really life

in Ashdene Ridge.

'Next up, May-Li.'

Come on, guys. Smallest at the front, tallest at the back.

We're watching a video diary, May-Li, not the new Star Wars.

-New Star Wars? Oh, cool!

-Star Wars?

-Yes!

-What, the new one?

-Yeah!

-Star Wars?

-Yeah.

-Yes!

OK, sit where you like. I don't care.

'Hi, there. You all know me -

'May-Li, care worker at Ashdene Ridge.

'I've had to take ten minutes up in the attic to get away from you lot.

'So apart from running the office,

'I am the in-house chef,

'serving up some of the finest cuisine.'

-That for me?

-It's Faith's. Hands off.

Got another pie. 500ml choc chip.

It's...fritter surprise!

'I'm also an expert driver...'

BRAKES SCREECH

Sorry about that, guys.

CAR HONKS HORN

THEY CHATTER

'..and resident picker-upper.

'In fact, I'm a picker-upper of all sorts of things.'

Hey. I just wanted to see if you're OK.

-Why wouldn't I be?

-I don't know.

That's why I'm asking.

I reckon we can fix Jeff.

'So, qualities!

'I like to think I'm full of ideas to provide mental stimulation.

'More importantly, empower you people in my care.'

-You what?

-Oh, er, keep you out of trouble.

-What's this all about?

-The Children in Care Council Forum.

Yeah, all the members are young people in care.

It gives you a voice. Lets you be heard.

'The house election for the Care Council Forum

'was a fantastic way to bring us all together.'

Hey, youse, when did the rules change about May-Li not helping?

Oi! How's that not taking sides?

What? I was just putting a poster up.

So you're doing ours next?

-No, cause you're taller, and...

-Do you want a bet...?

'Bright ideas like that promote an atmosphere

'of compromise and debate.'

Quiet!

'OK, yeah, no, scratch that.

'I feel like I'm at a job interview.'

'No, what I really mean to say is,

'I am full of ideas that mean we can all have fun.'

That's a great idea.

I mean, why don't we make our own newspaper?

A bake-off tomorrow.

-Let's have a picnic. ALL:

-Yeah!

What are you doing?

Sharing the surplus.

We can put it outside for the neighbours to take.

'Yeah, inspiring youngsters - well, you lot -

'that's what I'm all about.'

Wrappers off, labels on.

We're going to make a fortune.

'Although you did end up buying your veg - to sell, not give away.'

BELLS TINKLE

'Yes, occasionally - very occasionally -

'the inspiration goes too far.'

Free vegetables, madam?

'You know, that's when I have to uninspire people.'

Get your refunds here.

Full money back.

We're going to lose all our profits now.

You'll lose more than that if Trading Standards fine you.

'You think I was a bit hard on them, do you?

'Maybe. Toughness is definitely a quality in the job.'

-Chores.

-What about them?

Well, you're all grounded.

Not so fast.

Does this look like a face that's joking?

That's a whole lot of tough.

Oi! I heard that.

'Street smart, some people call it.'

Old people.

Frank?

-Hide.

-Where?

'Not a lot gets past me.

'I've got eyes in the back of me head.'

What's that smell? Perfume?

Oh, yeah, my, um...

new aftershave.

Feminine Mystique, by Belle de l'Amour?

Go, go, go, go, go.

May-Li.

Is something wrong?

You've just wasted a week's worth of food.

And my clean sheets are covered in guano.

-Guano?

-It means bird poo.

So, yes, something's wrong.

SQUELCH

-It got you!

-That's good luck.

'So...Dexter!

-'Stop picking your nose.'

-How did you know that?

Lucky guess.

'See? Never miss a thing.

'What other qualities?

'Ooh! Definitely well organised.

'I think the only thing that gets in the way of the smooth running of

'this place is you lot.'

Do you know what you need?

-BOTH:

-A system.

-Yeah.

We should organise some sort of dress rehearsal.

But it might help to keep busy, yeah?

Cos we have a system,

and you guys can get started by cleaning the kitchen.

-JODY:

-That's not fair.

'Honestly, it's like herding kittens around here.

'And there's one of you that needs more organising

'than the rest of you put together.'

Mm-hm.

'I'm looking at you, Mike Milligan.'

What?

It seems I made a few miscalculations...

Resulting in a few major cash flow issues.

I've got to go. May-Li will sort you out, OK?

-What's going on?

-It's OK, I've got it under control.

-We should have a system in place.

-We did.

Jean and I used to draw straws.

-Bit childish, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-Flip a coin?

-You're on.

'I'm joking, Mike.

'You don't need organising all of the time.

'We're a team.

'And I'm proud to call you...my friend.

'But as work colleagues, that friendship

'can be tested to the limit.

'Like the time I discovered Johnny wanted to join the Army.'

Have you said anything to Mike?

I wanted to speak to you first.

What, to put me off?

To see whether you were serious.

'It put a huge strain on my friendship with Mike.

'We both wanted to do the right thing for Johnny,

'just in different ways.'

Come on. It could be just what Johnny needs.

You know, give him some confidence, build his self-esteem.

Completely destroy him?

Look, I've known Johnny for years.

I think that gives me the edge when it comes to deciding what he needs.

And maybe only knowing him a few months

gives me distance and clarity.

'But moments like that are rare.

'Usually, Mike knows when I'm right.'

Yeah, I'm still waiting for that moment, May-Li.

'So, to sum up, Mike Milligan -

'friend, colleague, dodgy dancer.

-'In that order.'

-Hey!

You missed out "boss".

Boss?

'So when I'm not organising you lot...'

'..what's my thing?

'Well, that would have to be football.

'Hey, I am from Liverpool, what do you expect?'

Well, don't I get a vote?

-You want to vote?

-Yeah, I want to watch the football.

THEY CHEER

Just make sure you get Viv Anderson's autograph.

'Mm-hm, I've had my brushes with football royalty.

'And being the down-to-earth Scouser,

'I treat famous folk exactly the same as everybody else...

'who's won the league and FA Cup and three European Cups.'

Mr Anderson?

Do you want a cup of tea, or anything to drink,

-or something else?

-Tea'd be nice. You must be May-Li.

SHE LAUGHS WEAKLY

You're going to have to forgive her, she doesn't get out very often.

'And it's not just footy.

-'When it comes to sport, I'm a bit of an

-all-rounder.

'All-rounder? Rounders?

'Get it?'

-THEY GROAN

-Make it stop.

Come on, guys.

What's wrong with you? This is comedy gold.

'I'm also into my rugby...'

Gotcha!

'Wrestling?

'Not so much.'

What? Eh? SHE GRUNTS

-ALL:

-One, two, three.

She's out!

'But forget sport.

'There is one thing that matters to me more than

'anything in the world.'

Oh, it's a food parcel from Mum.

No way!

-What is it?

-Cheese!

'Yep - cheese.

'Food of the gods.

'But it turns out I wasn't the only cheese fan in the house.'

Who took my cheese?

Watch out, there's a cheese thief about.

-This isn't funny.

-It's a cheese sandwich.

No. It's a very special cheese sandwich.

It's a very expensive cheese -

my cheese that my mum gave me.

-So, come on, who took it?

-Maybe there's a giant mouse.

'At least some of you took this disgraceful crime seriously.'

Tony's alibi checks out.

The culprit,

the arch-cheese stealer,

the thief in our midst is...

..Mischief.

No way! MISCHIEF BARKS

'OK, so it wasn't just about the cheese for me.

'It was about family.

'The fact that Mum sent me that gift

'was a small gesture, but it meant so much more.

'She hasn't always found it easy to accept that my partner's a woman.

'It's not her fault, I suppose - she gets her attitude from her mum.'

I'm May-Li's grandmother.

But you can call me PoPo.

'Yeah, PoPo.

'My grandmother. She just loves making an entrance.'

You'll have to go. You can see I'm working.

You shouldn't have come.

Is this any way to show children how to treat an old woman?

It would be more appropriate to offer me a cup of tea.

'And looks can be deceiving.

'PoPo is as tough as they come.

'For one thing, she knows her martial arts.'

The smallest mouse can take the fiercest tiger.

'PoPo went down a storm with you guys.

'For me, well, just stormy.'

This is about family.

But you don't accept MY family.

Or have you changed your mind?

I thought you might change yours.

'PoPo is the tiger that looks like a mouse.

'The family business means everything to her.

'She just couldn't understand why I didn't feel the same.'

Have you thought any more about my offer?

There's nothing to think about.

Then maybe I shouldn't come back.

No way. You are not letting these kids down.

Then say you'll think about it.

You want me to run the business - but then what?

Are you going to let my own kids inherit it one day?

But how can they be your children if you did not give birth to them?

They are not MY family, you are.

'I had to do some thinking that day.

'You can't choose your family.

'Or can you?'

-MIKE:

-OK, everybody gather in, gather in.

All right, everybody look at me, please, and say...

May-Li-i-i!

-ALL:

-May-Li!

I don't want your business. I'm happy here.

But I want to give you something.

The chance to meet my children.

This is them.

So it's up to you now.

'I chose my family that day.

'And I chose who I wanted to be.'

It's from PoPo?

What is it?

It's my great-great grandfather's diary.

It's been passed down through the family for years.

I never thought PoPo would give it to me.

So...

..it's good?

It means she has accepted me and MY family.

'She may be set in her ways,

'but I owe a lot to PoPo and her Chinese wisdom.

'Sometimes, I open my mouth and hear her words coming out.'

If you're planning for a year, you sow rice.

Only weak people fight with their fists,

strong people fight with their words.

Friends are like a big box of chocolates, Floss -

best shared.

They say the people that annoy us most remind us most of ourselves.

'I think about that last one when some of you guys annoy me.

-'Which is quite a lot.'

-Even me?

Especially you, Floss.

'So...who is the real me?

'I guess you can only understand who you really are

'when you see yourself through other people's eyes.

'I had my eyes opened

'when I shared one of my pearls of wisdom with Kaz.'

To get adopted...

..you don't have to be perfect for everyone,

just one person in particular.

'Kaz was looking for a solution to her problems

'and, suddenly, I seemed like the perfect person to adopt her,

'if only she could make herself perfect for me.'

We're watching Dirty Dancing.

Oh! My favourite film ever.

Hey, when I was your age,

I was Merseyside under-15s rollerblading champion.

An old family favourite - it's called Scouse.

'What I was into, Kaz was suddenly into.'

CLATTERING

What are you doing?

Rollerblading. It's one of my favourite things

to do in the whole world.

'Pretty soon, everyone was at it.

'The Get Adopted by May-Li Club.'

-What are you doing?

-We're gardening.

-We love it.

-Since when?

Since we found out it was a great way to get a mum.

'It's strange to suddenly see yourself

'through other people's eyes.

'Archie thought rollerblading would impress me,

'Finn went down the Liverpool FC route.

'Basically, I found out I'm a green-fingered Scouser

'who loves rollerblading.'

'And that's it - the real me, May-Li.

'Oh, if you want to try some posh cheese,

'I've hidden the brand-new delivery from Mum somewhere in the garden.'

-Cheese?!

-'No more clues. OK, bye.'

Ooh, your cheese!

Give us a bite.