The Dumping Ground gang make video blogs. Carmen and Kazima team up for a blog about facing up to big challenges, a subject they both know about only too well.
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Are you OK with me doing this blog with you?
Yeah. Mike said so, didn't he? Besides, it'll be fun.
-Is it meant to be fun?
-Well, you know, fun-ish.
-It is a serious topic.
-Yes, of course.
So, we're not going to have fun.
We're going to help people.
Right. OK. Welcome to The Dumping Ground.
A place where no-one has any fun. Will that do you?
I think that was quite negative.
It's not as bad as it sounds.
If you're watching this, you're one of us now.
Relax. You're going to love it here.
You'll meet some amazing new friends.
Get to try exciting new food.
We promise. It's an experience you'll never forget.
But, remember, this is the place
where random chaos can strike at any time.
So you have to be prepared...
For pretty much anything.
-And that's why...
-We've made this video blog.
-We've been through all this...
-So that you don't have to.
This time on The Dumping Ground Survival Files,
facing up to difficult challenges.
Whether it's stuff that's hard to say or things that seem impossible to do,
this blog has the answers.
OK. If you're watching this, then you probably don't need me
to tell you that life's not a bowl of cherries.
Because a bowl of cherries is a portion of fruit.
-No, it's a figure of speech.
-We can help though.
We understand that life is not a portion of fruit.
It might be something you have to do that seems impossible
or a tricky conversation you'd rather not be having.
We've all had to cope with difficult stuff.
But what you'll find here is that most of us don't like
to talk about the tough times.
Just because you've spent your whole childhood in care,
never really had your own room,
been abandoned by your mum and your best friend,
doesn't mean to say you should bang on
about how hard life is all the time.
She's right. Most people don't like to talk about these things.
But the whole reason for this blog
is to look at how people deal with tough challenges,
so we need some people to tell us about their experiences.
And I know just where to start.
-All right, Carms?
Can I ask you some stuff for the new kids blog?
Yeah. Is this the one you doing with Kaz?
Yeah. It's about facing up to tough challenges.
-Lucky you've got her, then.
You know, she's not exactly had the easiest life.
-She'd have a lot to say.
-Oh, and I have had the easiest life?
-No, but she's been through a lot.
Yeah. Abandoned by her mum,
best friend swanned off to the other end of the country.
Oh, no, hang on. That's not her. That's me.
Kaz had to flee from a warzone and then she lived on the streets.
No. Hold on. Carmen, you don't need to...
Johnny, I'm doing a blog on facing up to tough challenges.
Yeah. Well, you've come to the right place then.
OK. First challenge. Putting up with Johnny
in one of his pleased-with-himself moods without throwing up.
Sorry, I didn't catch that.
Oh, nothing. So, Johnny, what's the hardest challenge you've ever faced?
Well, I suppose learning to keep my cool
when being surrounded by this lot here. That's not exactly been easy.
Why does she get all the chances? When's it going to be our turn?
Let go! Right, stop it, you two!
Then, a different kind of challenge.
There was the half marathon that time.
Winners never quit! Winners never quit!
I can do it! I can do it!
Johnny's here! Guys! Guys! Johnny's coming!
Go on, Johnny!
My legs were hurting. My lungs were killing.
And I had a stitch.
But I knew that I couldn't let everyone down.
So, yeah, that was tough too.
-Carmen, are you still listening?
-Oh, yeah. Go on. Fascinated.
All right. Well, then there was the time when the family, the Watsons,
wanted to adopt Tee but not me...
Oh, hang on. I think the battery's low on power.
Really? It looks fine to me. That little light's green.
No, that's bad. It means it's going to run out.
Best go and recharge it, eh? Sorry. Thanks. Yeah. Bye.
A narrow escape from death by boredom.
-Who did you film?
-Tee and Johnny.
-And how did it go?
-Maybe they weren't the right people to ask.
If you want some serious points of view, you should ask some adults.
-You do Mike. I'll do May Li.
May Li, if you have something to do you are really dreading,
what would be your advice?
Well, my policy is,
it's best to face challenging stuff head on and just get on with it.
Delaying and arguing about who does what really gets you nowhere.
-That's very impressive.
-If not exactly true.
Hang on, Kaz. What's that supposed to mean?
Two words. Bailey and Wharton.
Bailey wanted to go home to his dad
and someone had to tell him he couldn't.
I heard all about how you "faced it head on".
He's not going to take it well on top of missing the finals,
so watch how you tell him.
You're the one who told him he was only here for one night,
-so you can do it.
-You've had longer to get to know him than me.
Oh, yeah, a whole 12 hours.
Mike, can I ask you something?
Yeah. Of course you can. As long as you're quick. Stay there.
Say there was this really popular girl who had quite a tough time,
but never complained about it.
We are talking imaginary here, right?
And you were about to randomly make her life a misery
by forcing her to share a room with someone she didn't want to.
-Would I do that?
-How would you go about telling her?
Would you come straight out and do it?
Yeah. Of course I would.
-Not try to fob it off on a more junior member of staff?
-Mike. You OK?
You've been here longer. She'll take it much better from you.
Yeah, but I did last time. And the time before.
You know, if this happens all the time,
-we should have a system in place.
Gina and I used to draw straws.
-Bit childish, isn't it?
The most important thing is to keep calm
and trust your experience and your training
to come up with a practical way of working out what's best.
-Flip a coin?
-Head care worker gets to choose. Heads.
-Are you sure about that?
No. No, I'll go for tails.
No! I'll stick with heads.
Tails! Ha-ha! You lose! Now, get up there and tell her.
-Why me? Why is it always me?
-Believe me, I know how you feel.
Well, then don't make me do it,
because it's just go to be like Jodie all over again.
This girl is different. You know her.
-Who is it?
-Frank's friend. Kazima.
So much for adults. They say one thing and do another.
And if Mike won't bite the bullet and face up to difficult situations,
what hope is there for the rest of us?
What was the difficult situation Mike wouldn't face up to?
-The homeless girl?
You know that she only stole because she had to.
And what if she decides that she has to have my stuff?
-Mike, you're asking me to share my room with a criminal.
I'm asking you to be kind to somebody
who's had a rough deal in life and needs your help.
-Yeah. Slips my mind.
If you don't mind, there is something I would like to say.
OK. No-one's stopping you.
About someone in The Dumping Ground who has been through such a lot.
-Who has always been kind to me and treated me like a sister.
I've got loads of dresses you can borrow.
Are they all pink?
But I'll go and get them from the attic and you can try them on, OK?
-I could give you a makeover.
Yeah, me and Lily used to do them all the time.
-I could do your hair, your nails, your make-up.
-Yeah, if you want to. Let's do it.
-I have a better idea.
What if I make you over?
Don't you want to look like me?
This good friend has let me share a room and always been there for me.
Well, this person's hasn't exactly been perfect,
but they have tried their best.
If you move into my room, then I expect you to follow my rules.
For a start, you need to start washing your clothes
because it stinks around this place.
-All I can smell is your cheap perfume.
-The perfume is fine.
The problem is you.
How do I smell now? Do you like it?
That was a present from my mum.
Get out of my room now!
Yes, it's true that I owe an awful lot to
Only joking. I meant Floss.
Oh, my aching sides.
You're right. Too much fun.
We'll be BFFs. She could, like, totally give me a makeover.
I could be like her, look like her, dress like her.
Well, you do smell like her.
She looks at me like I'm dirt on the ground.
I can't live like that.
But it's got to be better than living on the streets.
Except on the streets I was respected.
I could choose my friends.
Thanks a lot.
Oh, shush. I chose you.
And if it wasn't for you, I would still be back out there.
The great thing about Frank is that he faces challenges,
but he doesn't mope about feeling sorry for himself.
Well, actually, that's not true, is it?
Maybe you don't know Frank as well as you think you do.
What do you mean?
Believe me, Frank can well turn into Mr The World's Got It In For Me
when things don't go right for him.
Like when he messed up in his exams that time.
I got a D in sports science.
OK. A D is OK.
And the rest?
Never mind. It's just exams.
Jim said it was my whole future.
You know, while some people are more suited to academia...
-Oh, you mean I'm thick.
Don't bat your eyes at me.
I'm thick, I'm useless, and this proves it.
Frank, I heard something about you. I need to know if it's true.
What do you mean?
That you felt so sorry for yourself
when your exams went badly you were going to give up.
That's not the Frank I know.
It was just an off day.
And I soon snapped out of it.
So, what are you going to do?
Take control of my destiny.
Go back to school.
Do my resits.
Get on the course that I really want.
And, when you've been through it yourself,
you can see when others are making the same mistakes.
-You'd be surprised.
-Are you going to help me, then, or are you just going to sit there?
-What are you even been doing here, Frank?
-I can sit if I want.
-Well, then put my stupid disc in.
-Do it yourself.
I can't because I'm in this lame contraption.
Doesn't mean you can treat people like slaves.
Oh, I'm sorry, I can't work the machine with my toes.
You don't even try.
Do you think I like being like this? Do you think I like being useless?
Moping about doesn't do any good.
You won't get anywhere like that.
-You're not useless. You're in a wheelchair.
It's my whole track career gone now.
You will get better.
I'm like this every day of my life.
I can't run or win a race.
I have to talk really slowly, so people can understand.
It's different for you.
You were born like that, so you don't know any different.
I don't sit around and moan, you mean.
So, what Frank was saying might not
have been exactly what Faith wanted to hear.
But he was right.
And he was brave enough to speak up and say that stuff,
however difficult it might have been.
So, what have we learnt so far about facing up to tough challenges
to upload into the Survival Files?
Well, challenges can come in lots of different forms.
It could be something really hard that you have to do.
Or something that's difficult to say to someone can be just as tough.
Either way, ignoring the problem gets you nowhere.
It's best to face up to stuff.
But even some adults have trouble putting that into practice.
Sometimes, though, you can find yourself facing a challenge
that doesn't seem hard. It seems impossible.
Faith certainly found it tough being in a wheelchair.
So, she was lucky that she had Frank there to talk things through.
He knows more about tough challenges than most.
You're right, you know.
Sometimes something difficult is just as hard, even harder,
than doing something difficult.
Yeah. Tell me about it.
Although some people can make a right meal out of it.
Like when Lily went off with her dad and Shannay.
Is that your friend who went to live in another part of the country?
-The one who abandoned you?
-Yeah. How did you know about her?
I don't know.
Somebody must have mentioned her.
Anyway, Lily so went about it all the wrong way.
She just made it hard for herself.
It's not like I'm a monster or something.
Have you spoken to Carmen yet?
-Weird, Spud! Look!
-You have to...
Hey, Lily, when did you get here?
What are you two whispering about?
OK, erm, you know that cafe that Sinead's sister has down south?
-By the seaside, yeah.
-Yeah, that one.
Erm, she asked my dad and Sinead to run it.
Won't that mean they have to live there though?
Well, yeah, there's a flat above.
Lily, they cannot just pack you up and move you miles away.
How long does it even take to get there?
And what about your sisters?
Should they just pack everything up and come too?
Poppy and Rosie are settled, they're fine here.
Yeah, but you're best where you are, Lily.
-Have you told your dad this isn't fair?
No, you haven't. Lily, he has messed you around too many times.
-You move here, you live there, the Dumping Ground,
then you live back with him.
When will you tell him it's not fair?
Just tell him that you want to stay!
No, cos I want to go!
Talk about coming out and saying something.
She could have sugared the pill a little bit.
What should this Lily have said then?
Whatever way she put it, you were going to be upset.
What do you mean? I'm a calm person.
I can take it.
Carmen, please don't be angry with me.
I don't mean to be harsh, Carmen.
But if someone is brave enough to break bad news, it's not fair
to just keep making things harder for them.
-I just don't see why you want to go.
-To be with my dad.
To be part of Jonah growing up... Look, I don't know, it's important.
Aren't your sisters important? Me, the Dumping Ground?
Doesn't what's here add up to more than the dad that's let you down
-more than enough times.
-It's a new start for me too.
There's a college not far,
I could sign up for a catering course.
Maybe one day I'll be a professional cook.
What, and there are no colleges here?
It's what happens, isn't it? Everyone leaves.
Now you're just feeling sorry for yourself.
It's you that's pushing people away.
You're saying I pushed my mum away?
No, I didn't mean that.
Look, I've never pushed anyone away and you know that.
People just move on and find something better than me,
which is exactly what you've done.
It's not better, it's just next.
Look, you don't know Lily and you don't know me,
so, don't judge people, right?
But you're talking like you're the only person ever to have to
face up to losing people.
Tell you what, Kaz. Why don't we drop this now?
It's too upsetting.
It's OK. I do understand.
It must have been difficult.
Why don't we change the subject to something a little less sad.
OK. How about Frank losing everything he owned
and ending up on the streets destitute and in lots of danger.
I mean, oh, you know, poor Frank.
I suppose we should have noticed something was up
because even though Frank supposedly had left, he was always here.
-Come on, inside the office now, Frank.
It's hard to imagine why you would want to hang round this place
if you had somewhere better to live.
Actually, that's quite offensive!
Everything is fine. I love living on my own.
What is true is Frank's excuses for turning up
were getting lamer and lamer.
And to what do we owe the pleasure this time?
I borrowed a pound off Rick.
Cheers, mate, it could have waited though.
And my shower's not working.
And then it went completely the other way.
From being always here,
it was like Frank had vanished off the face of the earth.
And when we went looking for him, were we in for a shock!
-Flat's empty, no-one's there.
-Well, he can't have moved out,
-he would have told us.
-Is this the right flat?
-Do you know Frank Matthews?
When you see him, tell him I want my money.
-What money? Where is he?
-Well, that's what I'd like to know.
-Where'd you get that chain?
Frank's in trouble.
Whenever he'd got into a mess before,
Frank has always used the gift of the gab to charm his way out of it.
But this was heavy. He was way out of his depth.
Apparently, Frank hasn't been at college.
He's also missed appointments
with his support worker.
Well, when did she last see him?
Two weeks ago.
We've spoken to the police,
we've filed a missing persons report,
now we need to gather as much information as we can.
-Who saw Frank last?
-Me, but that was weeks ago.
All right, well, what about Jade?
I texted her and she said she hasn't seen him since they broke up.
-They broke up?
And then she saw him in town with another girl.
-She said she didn't know,
but she did say she looked a bit, erm, dodgy.
All right, well, you need to tell the police all this.
They'll probably want to speak to Jade as well. Come on.
Look, don't worry. We'll find him.
-Yeah, all right...
-I hope they find him.
The thing is, though, that Frank was never really in danger
because he had people looking out for him,
who would never have let him come to any harm.
Yeah, I know, you say that but,
let's face it, he was living under a bridge.
There are worse places. Believe me.
You've been living here? Frank, you've got a flat.
Look, Carmen, I can't go back there.
What, cos you owe money?
He played cards with bad people. First he won, then,
he lost... A lot.
How much did he lose?
Take it. It is a gift.
I can't believe you did that!
-Frank, you can't live like this.
I'm going to win my money back.
If you were all looking out for Frank like you say,
how did you let him get into such a mess?
It's not as simple as that.
I think it's very simple.
Frank's gambling habit meant he had lost everything
and all his so-called new friends had let it happen.
You can't bet on another card game.
This one's different.
Is that why you sold your watch? Buying money for a game?
No, I'll win my money back and then I'll stop.
Gambling can be like a disease.
Once someone gets hooked on it, you can't just tell them to stop.
-It's hard for them.
-What a mess though!
I mean, it was hard to know where to start to fix it.
Well, sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.
Give me the watch.
But you said it was a gift.
Not for you to lose at cards. I'll keep it safe for you.
That's all very well but what Frank needed to get him
out of this impossible mess was his real friends.
Leave me alone.
Can you please just tell him to come back to the Dumping Ground?
-Yeah, it's our home. It's better than it sounds, trust me.
Guys, they're here!
What a relief that was, getting Frank safely back to
the Dumping Ground and people who really care.
-Never do that again, OK?
What, like Johnny?
-So, you gambled all your money away, again.
-Well, it's not Frank's fault.
-He was scammed.
-Now you want us to help you commit fraud?
And Bailey. He wasn't exactly desperate to help out either.
You don't know what you're getting yourself into.
These people could be well messed up.
Yeah, we're not asking for anything that risky, you know,
just jewellery. Cheap jewellery, that looks expensive.
Like this, do you mean?
Good to know that there is some point in having
so much tacky jewellery.
I'll pretend I didn't hear that.
This could work.
-So, when do we do it?
-Whoa, whoa... We?
You're going to need a girl to make the scam work.
I'm the oldest, and I've got my crutches, still.
Now I like how she's thinking.
I don't get it, why does she need her crutches?
Because he's going to suspect the poor lame girl...
So, Frank telling Faith to stop moaning
and get on with life ended up helping him.
She even used her injury to help out.
-Frank's not here.
-Can I come in?
Please, I left something here, something really important.
There's nothing here. The place is empty.
Don't worry, Frank's probably looking after it.
Looking after what?
My engagement ring. I'll just die if I don't get it back.
And you think Frank's got it?
I know it's here, I've looked everywhere else.
Call me if you find it. Please.
-Expensive, was it?
To me, I'd pay anything to get it back.
-How did it go?
-Faith was on fire. Where'd you learn to act like that?
Years of lying to social workers.
I was so impressed. All these people cared about Frank.
And we all came together to get him out of this mess.
-What are you doing?
She just picked up something.
Well, what is it?
-Just a ring.
-Faith's engagement ring.
You give me that ring and I'll pay you back everything.
-All the money we ever won off you.
How about that? You can share it with her if you like.
Have I got a deal?
-Come on, let's go.
Do you think they've tried to call me yet?
Who is it you're after, mate?
Faith. I need to speak to Faith.
Wrong number, mate.
I must have the number wrong.
Danny, what happened to your chain?
-That was quicker than I thought...
-Maybe they want this?
-How do you do that?
Who cares? Run!
You must have been relieved when everything got sorted out.
Yeah, I knew my luck had to change.
Luck! That wasn't luck.
That was loads of people going out of their way to help you.
Yeah. Lucky me.
Frank Matthews. You're impossible.
So, what have we learnt about tough challenges to
upload into the Dumping Ground Survival Files?
There are all sorts of challenges life throws at us.
It can be something really hard that you have to do,
like Johnny's half marathon.
It can be something you don't know how to tell someone.
Like Lily when she had to tell me she was moving away.
Or Mike when he had to tell Carmen she had to share a room.
It seems many people have trouble telling Carmen stuff
she doesn't want to hear.
It's best to face up to things you're dreading.
If it's something you're going to have to do eventually,
why not tackle it today?
But that's often easier said than done.
As May Li can tell you.
There are some challenges, though, that are just too big for one person.
And then you need help.
Frank might have been telling Faith stuff
she didn't want to hear at the time
but he helped her face up to the challenge of life after her injury.
And she repaid the favour when we all pulled together to help
Frank get out of what seemed like an impossible situation.
That's the lowdown on facing up to challenges safely
uploaded into the Dumping Ground Survival Files.
Good luck with the tough challenges in your life. And remember...
We've been through all this,
so you don't have to.
The Dumping Ground gang make video blogs as a helpful guide for new arrivals. Carmen and Kazima team up for a video blog about facing up to big challenges, a subject they both know about only too well.