Jody on the Ropes The Dumping Ground

Yeah. All right, I'm coming.

-Lend me three quid for the bus, will you, Tyler?

-Again?

-Where are you going?

-Swimming.

-Without any stuff?

Come on, or I'm going to be late!

-I want that back, yeah?

-Charlie, can I borrow that bag?

-Again?

-Yeah, well it goes with Candi-Rose's jacket.

It's full of my stuff.

Jody!

Candi, I'm borrowing that jacket, OK?

You spilt ice cream down it last time.

Yeah, we need a cleaning fee.

-Shut up! Who asked you?

-Why don't you wear your own jacket?

-Can I take it or not?

-Not.

Always so stroppy.

-Archie, move.

-Ow, watch it!

-Sorry.

Floss, tell Mike I'm going to the library.

DOORBELL

-Who are you?

-Hilde Agnes Hedwig Larsson.

And you are a very frowny girl.

-If the wind changes, you'll get wrinkles.

-Yeah, right.

Who is in charge here?

Miss Larsson, from the planning department. Michael Milligan.

-Tour first or a chat in the office?

-I will show myself around.

I can apply my expert skills much better

without a civilian prattling on.

Someone's got plans for us.

Not again.

-Hi, Mum, I'm home.

-All right, get in.

I'm loving the necklace, babe.

You could do something with your hair, though.

-It could be so pretty.

-I didn't have time!

I can't keep dropping everything at a moment's notice.

KNOCK ON DOOR

He's here.

Welcome to our humble abode.

-Thanks for inviting me.

-Oh!

You don't have to keep giving me flowers every time I see you.

It's the effect that you have on me.

I see a florists, I just want to buy everything.

-Aww!

-You two are so soppy.

Careful! You won't get your present.

Here.

Wicked! Thanks!

Well, you couldn't take your eyes off it in the shop last week.

I thought it would go in your room.

I made some cake.

-Why don't you go and get the nice plates, Jody, out the kitchen?

-Sure.

Thank you.

Mum, where are the plates?

You wouldn't even know that she lives here.

What are teenage girls like, eh?

Hi. Can I get you a tea? Coffee?

Is it freshly ground?

Instant?

-Mike, what's she doing?

-A feasibility study.

A what?

The council have sent her to ensure that we are maximising and utilising

the spatial...

..possibilities.

Hey, Dexter, how's your new house?

Me and Kev are decorating.

-I said pink for your room, Sash.

-You want me to move in or not?

What about Roddy? Will he come and live with you, too?

No. He lives down south with his mum now. Kev sees him there.

Dex? It's starting.

Oh, it's the footy. Got to scoot.

-Right, see you.

-Bye!

Why didn't you go with him, again?

Because the social workers want Mum to do it in stages.

Four kids is a lot.

-Yeah.

-It's going really well.

You know, it just needs me and we'll be a family again.

What are you doing?

Measuring.

-Why?

-I'm an architect.

-Archi-what?

I design new buildings and improve existing ones like this.

I take the ugly, the grey, the dismal and sad...

..and transform it to a place of beauty and elegance.

I'd love to do that.

Can I be your apprentice?

-I work alone.

-Please.

If you don't say yes, I can be quite annoying.

I suppose you could run errands for me.

My coffee is in the glove box.

Dark roasted, special blend.

-And don't touch anything.

-OK.

Your mum said that you spent a month in Venice

on a cultural tour.

Venetia!

My favourite city.

Yeah, it's mine, too.

What did you see?

The...

The Leaning Tower.

Of Pisa?

No. I mean, the clue is in the title.

You're teasing me.

I don't really remember.

It was just all so amazing. I guess I didn't take it all in.

What are you two gossiping about?

Our cultural holiday in Venice.

-Oh, butter fingers.

-Oh, no. Don't worry, I'll get that.

You see, one of the benefits of being single is

I'm very good at washing up.

WHISPERS: Why did you say that about Venice?

Cos he was asking us about our holidays.

It's lying. He's going to suss you out.

No, he won't!

It's been a month. Isn't it time you told him?

What, that my daughter's in care? What sort of mum does that make me?

-An honest one.

-Anyway, I'm not lying.

You are going to come and live with me, real soon.

-Are you all right?

-Yes.

-Have you spoken to my social worker yet?

-No. I'll do it!

-But first, you need to bring some stuff round.

-What?

Cos he's going to want to see this,

so we've got to make you a bedroom.

-I know, but...

-Just some clothes and stuff.

It'll make it easier for when you do move in.

So she's going to make this out of the attic?

A space of elegance and beauty.

Too good for any of you.

A massive bed with a pop-up TV?

-Bubbly bath.

-Two toilets?

It's a bidet, stupid.

What's a bidet?

For washing your feet.

-Who's having it, then?

-Having what?

Why do you need it?

I saw it first and I'm Hilde's apprentice.

Well, I think it should go to the person who's been here the longest.

The oldest. That makes way more sense.

What about the people who are sharing? We should get priority.

-Yeah!

-It's got to go to a girl.

What's a boy going to do with an en-suite bathroom?

What's a girl going to do with a state of the art games console?

Much more since I merked you last week.

We should fight for it. That's the fairest way.

-Fight?

-A competition.

-A contest.

-Who will set the rules?

Me, seeing as I'm leaving soon.

Oh, and me, seeing as I do have my own bathroom.

What's with the meeting?

-That's my jacket!

-My necklace!

Why'd you take it without asking? I would have lent it to you.

Jody, you didn't do the breakfast dishes.

That's the third time this week you've left your chores.

You're a right wannabe, a big, sad faker.

-Who are you trying to impress?

-No-one! Just shut up!

They're disgusting anyway.

Jody, no, no, no! Don't you...!

Dishes done!

How do you do this thing?

Come on, Jody, you're a part of this as well.

Right, this is your challenge to win the luxury bedroom.

Listen to the rules. I'll only say them once.

The winner is the last man or woman standing.

-WHISPERS:

-Woman.

This is all pointless.

That's Floss out.

Tyler has got to get his podcast ready, so he's already out.

You eliminate each other by pulling off the red tag.

There are objects in the middle that you may find helpful.

Work in teams, if you like, but there can only be one winner.

Is everyone ready? Three...

Stupid!

There's another one down.

..two, one.

AIR HORN BLOWS

Out!

-They told me you didn't even try.

-Yeah, I've got a bedroom, ta.

But this one's really cool. It's got a jacuzzi and a foot washer.

I'm not interested!

Look, can you just go? I've got stuff to do.

We need to stay back-to-back to protect ourselves.

You can't stay up there forever. That bedroom's mine.

Hey, hey.

Where do you think you're off to now?

Just...out.

You're not planning your time properly.

-You need to focus...

-Whatever!

And you're not going anywhere till you finish your chores.

What is this, a prison?

Not if you were acting like the senior responsible member

I'd expect at your age.

Oh, blah, blah, blah! You're boring, Mike.

Why doesn't Jody come with me to the gym?

You can burn off some of that attitude.

-No way.

-It's your choice.

Either you go with May-Li, or you're on time out in your room.

WHISPERS: Archie?

Yeah?

We need to get him to move.

Yeah, but how?

HE SCREAMS

-I guess we're team-mates now.

-OK. What if it's the two of us left?

-Then who'll get the bedroom?

-We'll... We'll work that out later.

IN ACCENT: Greetings, underlings.

I'm Floss Guppyson, and I work alone.

Why aren't you in my contest?

Because Hilde's going to give me the luxury bedroom anyway.

-I doubt it.

-Who's her apprentice, me or you?

Hilde? Oh, Hilde?

Boxing? Really?

Yeah. Come on.

I've got to go and fill in some forms for you.

Wait here. Get used to the place.

What's your favourite building?

Tall ones?

Square ones?

Thick ones? Thin ones?

If I was going to architect my own house,

it'd be an underground lair.

That does not surprise me.

-I would design mine to be a perfection of Hygge.

-Hugo?

-Hygge.

-Huga?

-Hygge.

It is how we Scandi people make homes without even trying,

unlike you English, who have no style at all.

I want to do Huga. Teach me.

So, in boxing, it's all about the stance. Yeah?

Evenly balanced, light on your feet.

Come on. That's it, evenly balanced, light on your feet.

Nice.

Kids?

It's lunch.

Where is everyone?

-Oh, I'm starving.

-It's not safe out there!

If I don't have any food, I'll die anyway!

AIR HORN BLOWS

That's OK. It was getting boring.

-Boring?!

-Cos everyone's hiding.

You need something to make them come out into the open.

Forwards and down, forwards and down.

Keep your guard up. Forwards and down. That's the one. Circles.

Forwards and down. Listen to the rhythm.

Ta-ta-ta, ta-ta-ta, ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba...

Circles, that's it. That's it.

-Can I have a word, please?

-Yeah, sure.

PHONE RINGS

What?

Jody? Jody?

-Ballet?

-Yeah! Grant got us tickets for the matinee of Cinderella.

I don't know anything about ballet! I do street dance, Mum.

It's all the same. We've got half an hour to get ready.

I can't. I'm meant to be with May-Li. She'll go ballistic.

Let her. When you're living with me,

-it doesn't matter what your care workers think.

-Yeah, I know, but...

Woohoo!

Gorgeous or what?

-You are going to look like a princess!

-Are you serious?

You have to wear a posh frock to the ballet. It's the rules.

Attention all contestants.

This is a message from your leader.

The house is now out of bounds.

All players must make their way to the garden immediately...

This is our place!

..or they will be disqualified.

She can't do that!

Come on, you slow coaches.

How can I be your apprentice if you won't share?

What's the secret to Huga?

If I tell you, will you go away?

-Candles.

-We're not allowed candles, except at Halloween.

What else?

Fur rugs, spiced wine.

I can't have wine. I'm a child!

They're rubbish things.

Uh...

Food must be treasured.

Every meal time is special.

Say no more.

Oh, my, babes! I never thought I'd see the day!

I feel like a muppet.

Shoes, then you'll look the part.

Oh!

-Go on.

-Ow! They're too small.

-Size four.

-I'm a size six.

You always used to be a size four. Come on, we'll have to push them on.

-Ow!

-That's it.

-Ow!

-Get it in.

All right? Next one.

That's it. Push it down, push it down.

Ow! Why can't I just go as myself?

What, a scruff-bag care kid with no fashion sense?

Don't you want Grant to be proud of us, babe?

IN ACCENT: So, we will be making Hilde a traditional Swedish tea

called smorgasbord.

-Right, OK.

-And it will be the most Hygge smorgasbord she's ever had.

OK, you can stop using that voice now.

But I'm Floss Guppyson!

Isn't it just basically a load of random stuff on bread?

Not random!

Swedish.

Pickled herring.

Smoked eel and cheese roll mops.

-This is our hidey hole. Go away!

-You don't own it.

So? We were here first.

Budge up, Finn.

I like sitting here.

Guess it doesn't matter now.

AIR HORN BLOWS

-Why did you do that?

-Did you think our team was going to last forever?

There's only one winner in this game, and it's not going to be you.

FINN GROWLS ANGRILY

Five left and counting!

Holy flying fish fingers!

-What?

-We're making Hilde a smorgasbord.

Oh. OK, well,

I'm really glad that she's broadening your cultural horizons,

but you do have to do it now?

-Any news?

-I couldn't find her anywhere.

-My feet really hurt.

-Oh, will you stop moaning?

Grant spent hundreds of pounds on those tickets.

-Then why did you let him?

-Oh, you ungrateful brat.

This is your fault for making up random stuff without me.

He's got no idea who I really am.

This is who you are - a sophisticated young woman.

I hate ballet! I can't think of anything I want to do less!

She didn't mean it.

It's fine. It's fine.

Really.

I know it must be difficult for you to accept me.

It's been you and your mum on your own for so long.

But your mum is very special to me.

And I know it's early days, but I'd like us to be a family.

We'd like that too, wouldn't we?

I can't, Mum. Not like this.

You're too nice to be lied to, Grant.

Jody!

AIR HORN BLOWS

AIR HORN BLOWS

I really hate you!

Sasha, I'm really desperate for the loo.

-OK. As I'm in a kind mood.

-Oh, thank you!

What are you doing? I have to get back to work.

It's time to eat. Meals must be treasured, remember?

Ta-dah! Your smorgasbord.

Raw fish?

Roll mops. Pickled, not raw.

We've had them in the cupboard for years.

Oh, but they're still in date, though. We checked.

Go on. It's really Hygge.

Jody! Why didn't you call? Didn't you get my messages?

And what are you wearing?

Nothing.

This is getting ridiculous. I have just reported you missing,

and you turn up in a prom dress and barefoot! What's going on?

Ha-ha! Holy guacamole.

-Please tell me you're wearing that for a bet.

-Shut up!

I'm sick of having to answer to everyone.

Who? Who are you answering to, Jody?

If you don't tell us, we can't help you.

It's my business! Keep your fat noses out!

You're grounded for a week!

-I need to get out of here.

-Archie! Who did this to you?

Look behind you, quick!

You were using Archie as bait.

It worked, didn't it?

-Come on, then. What are you waiting for?

-What are YOU waiting for?

The contest will end in one minute.

What? You can't do that.

59, 58...

-This is stupid. I'm not literally going to fight you.

-Same.

-It should be about skill and strategy.

-..54, 53...

-Have my tag. Here.

-No, that's not the rules.

-..51...

-Well, we tell her we're not doing it.

We're not playing by her rules.

-..48...

-No last man or woman standing.

-What's she going to do?

-..46...

-This isn't a trick, is it?

-..45...

-I will if you will.

-..43, 42, 41...

That's cheating!

No, you first. I insist.

No, you first. You're the guest!

But in Sweden, the host eats first.

But we're not in Sweden.

OK, why don't we flip for it?

-We don't want your bedroom, thanks.

-No, we do. But Mike can decide.

-Decide what?

-Who's getting the luxury bedroom?

In the attic? The one Hilde's making?

I'll show you.

-I'm very sorry.

-Behold Hilde's masterpiece.

The DG's beautiful new attic.

-This isn't for yous lot, ya yampy brained kids!

-Huh?

-What happened to her accent?

-I put it on for the clients.

-Mr Bramovic Danovic thinks it's bosting.

-Who?

The millionaire. This is for his penthouse.

So you pretend to be Swedish?

-Are you even called Hilde?

-Course not! It's Shaz.

Great. What a waste of time.

Speak for yourself. This is my ticket out of the council.

I'm done working in dumps like this with deranged kiddies stalking me.

Floss isn't deranged.

Much.

You're a fake. I can't believe I ever wanted to be like you!

I quit as your apprentice.

-No, no, no!

-I've got to present this tonight!

What am I going to tell Mr Bramovic Danovic?

You've ruined my life!

Aw, I'm sure you'll get over it, Shaz, once you've got your Hygge on!

LAUGHTER AND CHEERS

Well, thanks very much!

Grant bailed on the ballet cos he was worried about you.

I'm sorry if I'm causing trouble.

If? He's virtually asked me to marry him.

I never asked you to lie about me. I'm rubbish at acting.

You are selfish and you are thoughtless.

If Grant really loves you, he'll love you for yourself.

This is me. I'm going to be a good mum.

I'm going to get you out of care. I thought that's what you wanted.

-I do!

-Then you'd better fix this.

Cos if I lose Grant, I'll never forgive you.

You can rot here till they kick you out.

You won't be my daughter any more.