Episode 13 The Johnny & Inel Show

# My alarm wakes me up, I'm ready to rise

# Splash water on my face to get the sleep out my eyes

# The sun's out shining, I'd better stop rhyming

# As Mum's always telling me, "Fix up your timing!"

# Now we've got a show on CBBC

# Sure all of my fans will be out to see me

# Get set, cos the time is here

# Now sit back, relax and get ready to cheer

# We're doing well, as you can tell

# So here comes the show with Johnny...

# And Inel. #

-It was you!

-Oh, my, golly, golly, gosh, sir!

Have you got any evidence of that? Where's the evidence?

If this was in a court of law, could you prove it,

no, you couldn't, no, you couldn't, that's what I'm saying.

I was seriously hyped up for this episode, you know, like,

HYPE, HYPE!

And instead, we've got some guy trying to stick Rastamouse

in our dressing room!

I mean, no crew - this is a shambles!

Not so fast!

I ain't going out like that!

Say hello to my little friend.

Oooh!

JOHNNY: # It's the last show! #

What's happening, Johnny?

Hello, Inel, my man!

-Oh!

-Last show today. Oh, we have got to go out with a bang.

-Boom!

I'm so excited, man. I want to go now. Let's go, let's go.

No, come on, come on. Take a seat.

Seriously, we shouldn't rush.

We are the stars of the show. Let the crew members come and get us.

I mean, they're probably more excited than what we are!

I bet they are planning a big send-off, as well!

Yes, you're right, let them come and get us!

KNOCKING

Oh, that's them now!

You go! You go!

-Can I help you?

-I don't know.

-What?

-What's going on here?

I've been sent down here to change the names on these

dressing rooms.

I am going to put this one on here, and this one next door.

You've got to be having a laugh, ain't you?

We are Johnny and Inel, from Johnny and Inel fame!

These are our dressing rooms. This is where we get dressed.

Look, I'm going to have a word with your boss, mate,

and get this mess sorted out.

Yeah, and then after that, we're going to do OUR show!

And then we're going to be back.

And when we are back...

We want this to be a Rastamouse-free zone.

Huh. And we are going to be back.

CHEERING

Hello and welcome to The Johnny and Inel Show!

CHEERING

Now guys, this is the season finale, you're in for a real treat.

It's going to be a great show.

Oh, yes, it's going to be epic.

We're going to go out with a bang! Boom!

And I've got a wicked "Greet Of The Week", it's going to be mega.

This is how it'll go. First off, you stand like this.

-Inel, where is all the crew?

-What?

-Where've they gone?

-I know what this is. It's like them prank shows,

you know?

The crew are going to hide, and then they're going to jump out on us.

I'm not falling for it. This is so unprofessional.

SIGHS

Have you guys seen the crew?

-ALL:

-No!

I mean, seriously.

I know we've been completely holding this show together,

but this is just ridiculous.

You know what it is?

I know exactly what's happening.

They've probably gone on holiday a week too early.

I don't know what to think, Inel.

You know what, I was seriously hyped up for this episode,

like, HYPE, HYPE!

Yes, and instead, we've got some guy trying to stick Rastamouse

in our dressing room.

I mean, no crew, this is a shambles.

At least we've still got our audience, eh?

Look at them. Look at them now. Hee-heh!

CHILDREN GIGGLE

There they are. Look at that kid!

Yes, we have. Let's have a look at them.

Oi, you! Come up here!

I've just had an idea. The audience can crew the show.

Come here!

Jump on this.

Yes, get your focus like that, no, no, back a bit...

Oh, look, he's improving!

Am I in focus, am I in focus?

All you've got to do is get me in. That's all that really matters.

Do you know what, while we get this sorted, let's just cut to a sketch.

Kids, has your beloved dolly been injured?

Oh, woodgy, woodgy... Whoops!

Lost a few good Lego men to the new puppy?

BARKING

At Toy Hospital Insurance, our team of experts will make sure that

playtime is never interrupted for long.

Our comprehensive insurance includes immediate repair,

a courtesy toy, plus, call now

and receive our bonus Christmas Day cover. Call now!

PHONE RINGS

AMBULANCE SIREN WAILS

-Oh, ha-ha!

-What funny things are you going to do with that, Inel?

Ha-ha! Funny things? I'm taking these home, mate. Souvenirs.

This isn't a gift shop, Inel!

Hold up.

Come on, lads. Give it up.

This isn't even a proper show. It isn't even half a show. It's over.

-Be honest with yourselves.

-Yes?

All right, you might say that, mate, but, I tell you,

you're the only one who thinks like that.

Is there anyone else who wants to leave?

Yeah, don't come back!

-We don't need you.

-Actually, we do need them.

Yeah? Good riddance is what I say.

Who's going to laugh at our jokes?

Hey, why is everyone leaving?

-Are you playing?

-Yes, yes, I'm going to be playing in a minute.

-We'll stay if you're playing.

-Yes.

Well, I am done. I'm not doing it.

Actually, Johnny, I wanted to see Lemar performing.

I think he's kind of wicked, you know.

Yeah, I kind of like Lemar, as well, actually.

Shall we do it, then?

Yes, let's do it.

All right, you, mate, you on the camera. You, this camera.

You, over here on the camera, as well. Let's go, let's go!

# All the lights are green

# Travelling super speed

# Every road is clear

# Heading to nowhere

# But I feel

# I feel so alive for the first time

# Put your hand in mine

# And let's blaze across the sky

# Gypsy runaway

# True anomaly

# Cos it feels

# This feels like us for the first time

# For the first time, first time

# Let your light shine

# For the first time

# No more rules to break

# It's your life to waste

# Everything we need

# On that silver screen

# And it feels, it feels like you're mine

# For the first time

# And no longer feel

# Brighter, brighter let your light shine

# For the first time

# For the first time. #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Ha-ha-ha!

Oooh!

-MAN:

-And cut!

Oh, nice. Cheers, mate. Ooh!

I can't wait to get out of this wig!

These clips are starting to dig.

Aaaagh! This guy is on fire!

Coming up with rhyme after rhyme after rhyme.

See you later.

-Cheers, Lemar.

-Yes, Lemar was good, wasn't he?

-Yes, he was wicked.

-What is going on here?

-Oh! Maybe it is the last episode.

I'm not having this. They're not respecting me enough.

Oh, look what they've done to Blondie!

-Taking the mick.

-No, we have got to do something.

-Come over here, sit down, Inel.

-OK, what are we going to do?

-I'm chaining you up.

-Come on, come on. What are you talking about?

We're going to chain ourselves up until we get a proper ending.

That's absolutely mad, mate. That's a bit too tight.

It's gone a bit tight. Can you just loosen it up on my wrists?

News that we're here gets out, then they send in Dani Harmer

and Hacker the dog to negotiate with us,

then they bring us a sandwich.

Nice. What sort of sandwich?

You get to choose, mate.

There'd better not be any mayo in my one.

Basically, we say we want a big season finale - they make it happen.

-That simple.

-I like Dani Harmer. She's pretty cool.

You couldn't undo these chains, could you?

I just need to go to the toilet. I'll be right back.

-Mate, this is a no key zone.

-You what? I'm bursting.

And I'm hungry and thirsty. What've you done?

-Calm down, mate. She'll be here in a bit.

-All right.

DOOR OPENS

Oh, look!

Hold on, that's not Dani Harmer!

Erm, no?

I can't say I'm not a little disappointed. I was expecting...

Cheryl Cole?

-Well, maybe Cheryl Cole and a sandwich.

-Don't worry, Inel.

I've got it from here. Hello?

These are our list of demands.

Firstly, we want our names put back on our dressing rooms.

Anything else?

And two cans of ginger beer while you're taking orders.

Do not forget the ginger beer.

We want a big season finale.

And we're not going anywhere until we get it.

All right, I'll see what I can do.

I think that went pretty well.

They will cave in.

LOCK TURNING

Oh, no!

I can't see! And I'm bursting for the toilet!

Help! Help!

Once upon a time...

a kid got dumped in the trash!

That kid discovered...

he had powers!

Powers of the waste!

Wasteman!

Omar! Omar Daze!

This ends now! I've got Bearman with me!

And you're going down.

So, you're back for more?!

Well, this time I'm putting you boys down for good.

No, Omar. You're the one that's going to be going down!

The only colouring pens you're going to be using are blue

and black biros.

Rrrraaahh!

I don't get it.

I don't either, mate, to be honest,

I keep telling him not to say these lines, it's very strange.

It's just the blue and black ones...

It doesn't work.

You know, the cheap ones?

It's not really... it's not even funny. Honestly!

Anyway, Omar. Time to pay.

Why don't you make me pay while you're all Dazed up?

You forget, Omar, that I now have protective goggles

made from waste bottles

that protect me from your Dazing powers.

And this time, Bearman has them, too.

Yeah, and I'm not the only one.

Rrrrraaaa!

Ah! And Barry said,

"This time, you're his."

Hurgh!

Argh! Argh!

No, get him off, get him off me!

Get him, Barry!

Come on!

Aargh!

Get him, Barry, get him! Get him, Barry!

He won't be needing these any more.

Come on, Barry, let go. Leave it. Leave it!

He's not worth it. He's not worth it.

I can't believe it! We did it, Bearman.

We finally stopped Omar Daze.

Well done, Bearman.

And well done, Barry.

Not so fast.

I ain't goin' out like that.

Say hello to my little friend.

Aaargh!

Vacuum! I feel myself getting weaker.

Don't worry, Wasteman, you've got me now.

Grrrrrrr!

Aaargh!

Agh! Agh! Agh!

Agh! Agh! Raaarrr!

That should do it.

Aaargh!

My powers are coming back.

You're going down, Omar.

Grrrrr!

Hey, man, I mean, we can be friends.

I like rubbish, I like waste.

Rarrrh!

You don't need to do that. Hey!

Rarrrgh!

Rarrrgh!

Rarrrrgh!

Rarrrgh!

Rarrrrgh!

Raarrrrgh!

Raaaarrrrgh!

Rarrrrgh!

Rarrrrrrgh!

Rarrrrgh!

Raaaarrrrgh!

It's a waste ball knockout!

Wasteman, you did it!

You stopped Omar Daze!

I did, didn't I?

May the waste be with you!

So, mate, do you mind if I grab one on my own?

What, just a single, yeah?

-You make me look bad, that's all.

-Just stand there?

-Yeah.

I've really messed up this time.

-You have.

-But we've got to stay calm.

Oh, gosh, no!

I'm too important to go out like this.

I just want a sandwich and a drink.

And some crisps! I want some crisps.

I think I might have to eat this basketball.

No, Inel! No, Inel!

We've got to keep some kind of dignity, eh?

No, you're right. And besides, I'm not that hungry.

We've got to save the basketball for breakfast.

Look, Inel, I'm filming at the moment, OK?

So let's just wrap up the show with a bit of dignity and style, yeah?

Right, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you're darn right.

Dignity and style, that's what we've got to show them. Yeah.

Dignity and style and speed, cos my phone's about to run out of battery.

-HISSING

-Inel?

-I'm sorry, I'm hungry.

Stop eating the basketball!

# Da-da da-da-da

# Tch! Da-da da-da-da Da-da-da

# Da-da da-da-da... #

Inel, can you just stop it, please, you're doing my head in.

Oh, all right, all right, just trying to stay positive.

You should do the same.

Hey, remember...think of the good times.

Remember the good times we had over the series?

Now, this is my favourite sketch.

10 times 10 is...

HUMMING Sorry, is somebody humming?

Er, it wasn't me.

Right, OK.

HUMMING

I'm sorry, but I think it was you humming then.

Oh, my gosh, sir! It wasn't me! Oh, my gosh!

How did you know it was me? And even if it was, how can you prove it?

You can't! That's what I'm saying. It wasn't even me, sir, it was him!

-Hey!

-Told you.

Right, come on, guys.

All right, so 10 times 10 is...

# Da da da, da da da

-# Da da da!

-Da da da da da da

-# Da da da... #

-That's definitely you drumming.

You lie!

-It was you!

-Oh, my goody-goody gosh, sir! Have you any evidence for that?

Where's the evidence, sir?

If this was a court of law, could you prove it? No, you couldn't.

That's what I'm saying.

This room is just bare echoey

and you're blaming me for all the sounds.

Sounds everywhere. Sounds over there, could have been her.

Could have been him. Well, it wasn't, it was him!

-Hey...

-Told you.

This is your last warning!

I'm about to go mad here.

And you do not want that.

Right, 10 times 10 is...

TROMBONE PLAYS

That's clearly you.

-What was me?

-The trombone. You're holding a trombone.

Oh, my gosh, I'm holding a trombone in my hands. Is this a trombone?

I don't know what a trombone is.

This ain't even a trombone, this is a pencil case. See?

What are you talking about? You have a trombone in your hands.

Give me it here.

PLAYS BADLY

See?

Oh, my gosh, sir! You just did that thing you told us not to do!

-No, I was doing...

-Yes, you did, I saw you, sir.

-Like you were doing because...

-You'll do my ears. Pow, man!

It wasn't even me, it was him.

Oh, my days!

Ohhh! Oh, oh, oh!

ALL CHANT AND BANG

-Yeah, that was amazing.

-It was.

Remember when we were the gamer geeks?

That was my favourite sketch.

Welcome back, guys.

I'm 007, record points score holder on Splat Face 2

at Mr Tom's Arcade.

And I'm Mad Jimbo 28

and I've just completed Munch Man 4

in 52 minutes

and I've checked on the internet, that's a record.

And welcome to another episode of...

BOTH: ..Super Game Reviewers!

Yeah, that's right.

Now, last time, we showed you the last ever Teenager 2

helping Mum carry the shopping.

This time, we'll look at level 2,

which is doing your homework before Mum gets home.

-Right, game on!

-Game on!

Now, it's important to pick your homework in the right order.

I like to start off with English

as my boredom power par is relatively high early on.

See? A, B.

Got to press A and B.

X, Y works as well.

-A, B, please.

-I've done this level before.

Press A and B, please.

-Fine!

-Please press A, B.

You'll notice that Mad Jimbo is using the A, B technique.

This increases his writing rate.

Uh-oh! We've got a bit of trouble.

PHONE RINGS

Right, now Mad Jimbo really has to concentrate

because his phone's ringing.

It will only be your friend

and this will lead to a negative 200 distraction damage.

-Oh!

-And it's very hard to salvage after that.

-It is.

PHONE RINGS

-Oh!

-That was close.

Now that we have English completed,

I'm going to use an orange squash power up

before I start to tackle Maths.

Now, the time at which Mum returns home varies.

We've had anything between two minutes and five minutes.

Do you remember that one time when the mum took six minutes?

Oh, that was a crazy major glitch!

-Major glitch!

-Major glitch!

-Crazy glitch!

-Major glitch!

-Glitch, glitchy!

-Major glitch!

Glitching.

Yeah. Glitch.

Glitchy.

GIGGLING

-Glitch.

-Right...

-So you'll notice that Mad Jimbo...

-Are you up there? >

Nigel, can you hear me? Otherwise I'm coming up. >

No, don't you dare come up here!

Look at the pressure that I'm under!

It's amazing I've got to this level of gaming

with this kind of pressure at home.

She just doesn't get it!

LAUGHING

Oh, I do like that one. But the best one has to be...

Pop sensation, Ginelle.

# Be cool

# Stay in school

# Got to be quiet

# But please don't riot

-# Is that a bird?

-It isn't

-# Is that a plane?

-It isn't

# No, it's darn well driving me insane

# I want some chicken

# From the shop

# And I won't stop eating

# Until my stomach makes me stop

# Help your mom with the shopping

# And if you do that

# Then we don't get it poppin'

# Poppin', poppin', poppin'

# Darn well, darn well

# You made it fine well

# Believe in life

# Believe in li-ife

# Darn well, darn well

# You made it fine well

# Believe in life Believe in li-ife

# Believe in me

# Believe in you

# I don't believe you

# But I believe in us

# I believe, I believe I believe in you, I believe in me

# I believe in us I believe in we

# Believe that Believe me, believe me

# Believe us

# I'm a mad one, I'm a mad one I'm a mad one

# I'm a mad one, I'm a mad one I'm a mad one, I'm a mad one

-# Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

-I'm a mad one

# I'm a mad one

# You're a mad one... #

Oh, good times, good times.

Oh, thank goodness, someone's here!

Johnny, Inel, we're waiting for you outside.

Oh! Must...have...ginger beer.

I've seen this one before.

Well, guys, on behalf of myself and Johnny,

I'd like to thank everyone for watching our show.

I hope you enjoyed it and I hope to see you all soon.

Yeah, thanks again, guys.

We loved every minute of filming this show

and we've loved having you there watching it with us.

# Mind the gap with the bass and drum

# Going around like bom bom bom. #

Hi! Did someone order a superhero?

Got this. Got this.

Yeah, you made that look good.

Welcome to a magazine on What Adults Say.

I'm just gonna let you know what they're on about, innit?

And welcome to another episode of Super Game Reviewers!

# Ba, da da, ba da, ba da

# Da da... #

This just in.

# I want some chicken

# From the shop

# And I won't stop eating Until my stomach makes me stop. #

Hey there, I'm Helen.

Will Johnny and Inel get to their show in time?

It was the way I hit the plate at the right angle.

It was like...doosh!

Ohhh! Crazy rascal!

This is like a dragon spitting fire!

Arrrrgh!

-Who's the best pranker?

-ALL: We are!

# Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny!

# Johnny, Johnny Johnny, Johnny!

# Aaargh, aaargh, aarrgh

# Na-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a

# Na-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a

# Ow-w-w-w-w. #

We're just gonna let him fall asleep? Some of us got work to do.

Oh, I... I swear down!

Until next time, we'll keep making it look good.

The only way Johnny and I know could. Aha!

Hit the music.

-Did someone say fire?

-I did.

Ugh!

LAUGHS

Oh, my gosh, Robbie, I'm...

Sorry. I think I actually dialled someone.

I can't take much more of this!

Whoop!

LAUGHS

And...cut!

Yeah, cheers, guys.

Another top take from me.

-Nice one.

-See you tomorrow.