Episode 50 The Joke Machine
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Transcript
| Line | From | To | |
|---|---|---|---|
Sightings have been reported of a mysterious object in the sky. | 1:03:02 | 1:03:06 | |
-What does it want? -Thousands of children... | 1:03:06 | 1:03:09 | |
Hoping they'll be chosen. | 1:03:09 | 1:03:11 | |
One man is on a mission to find the funniest jokes. | 1:03:11 | 1:03:15 | |
He is... | 1:03:15 | 1:03:17 | |
-..the Joke Master. -Did someone say my name? | 1:03:18 | 1:03:22 | |
And this is The Joke Machine! | 1:03:22 | 1:03:24 | |
Joke Machine, activate. | 1:03:28 | 1:03:31 | |
Oh, sorry, Cupcake. Joke Machine, activate. | 1:03:31 | 1:03:34 | |
Where are we going? | 1:03:38 | 1:03:40 | |
CHEERING | 1:03:41 | 1:03:44 | |
L-L-L-Let's get cracking, jokers. | 1:03:48 | 1:03:52 | |
One, two, three, jokes! | 1:03:54 | 1:03:56 | |
-What did one eye say to the other? -What? | 1:03:56 | 1:03:59 | |
-Something between us smells. -It is good. | 1:03:59 | 1:04:03 | |
-Yeah! -Next. | 1:04:03 | 1:04:05 | |
What do you say when the teacher blames you for not doing homework? | 1:04:05 | 1:04:10 | |
-No idea. -Can't blame me for something I didn't do. | 1:04:10 | 1:04:13 | |
The verdict is in, and on charges of being funny, you've been | 1:04:13 | 1:04:16 | |
-found not guilty. -You know nothing. You're rubbish. | 1:04:16 | 1:04:20 | |
Get out of my courtroom. | 1:04:20 | 1:04:22 | |
Bring in the next one. | 1:04:24 | 1:04:26 | |
-What goes black and white, black and white? -What? | 1:04:26 | 1:04:29 | |
A penguin rolling down the hill. | 1:04:29 | 1:04:31 | |
-What's black and white and laughs? -I don't know. | 1:04:31 | 1:04:34 | |
The penguin that pushed the penguin who is rolling down the hill. | 1:04:34 | 1:04:38 | |
CLACKING | 1:04:38 | 1:04:40 | |
-That is percussion for, "Good joke, my friend." -Yes! | 1:04:40 | 1:04:44 | |
I know. | 1:04:44 | 1:04:46 | |
# Hit me with your joke, yeah. # | 1:04:46 | 1:04:49 | |
How do cats do their shopping? | 1:04:49 | 1:04:51 | |
From a catalogue. | 1:04:51 | 1:04:53 | |
F-U-N-N-EE! | 1:04:53 | 1:04:56 | |
-Funny! -Yay! | 1:04:56 | 1:05:00 | |
Let's keep it going. | 1:05:00 | 1:05:01 | |
-Go on. -How do you make a tissue dance? | 1:05:03 | 1:05:07 | |
Put a little boogie in it. | 1:05:07 | 1:05:10 | |
BOOING I am not having fun anymore. | 1:05:10 | 1:05:13 | |
SCREAMING | 1:05:14 | 1:05:17 | |
Ha-ha, ha-ha! | 1:05:17 | 1:05:19 | |
Next school. | 1:05:23 | 1:05:24 | |
Spring Bank Primary! | 1:05:29 | 1:05:32 | |
All joke systems are go. | 1:05:36 | 1:05:39 | |
Go for it, maestro. | 1:05:40 | 1:05:42 | |
-What did the frog do when his car broke down? -I don't know. | 1:05:42 | 1:05:45 | |
-He got toad away. -Oh! Did you see that fly past? | 1:05:45 | 1:05:49 | |
That was funny and you didn't catch it. | 1:05:49 | 1:05:52 | |
Bring on the joke train! | 1:05:57 | 1:06:00 | |
Tell me your joke. | 1:06:00 | 1:06:02 | |
What's worse than being bitten by Dracula? | 1:06:02 | 1:06:05 | |
Shaking hands with Captain Hook. | 1:06:05 | 1:06:07 | |
That was almost as good as this apple, which means it was good. | 1:06:07 | 1:06:11 | |
-Thank you. Thank you. -Whoo! Next dish, please. | 1:06:11 | 1:06:15 | |
Please tell me your joke. | 1:06:17 | 1:06:19 | |
I've got nine eyes, two mouths and five noses. What am I? | 1:06:19 | 1:06:24 | |
-Sounds like Cupcake's girlfriend. -Ugly. | 1:06:24 | 1:06:26 | |
-How dare you come in here with that rubbish? -Does my face look bothered? | 1:06:27 | 1:06:32 | |
Face, bothered. I ain't bothered. | 1:06:32 | 1:06:35 | |
SCREAMING | 1:06:38 | 1:06:40 | |
Sorry, Cupcake. | 1:06:40 | 1:06:42 | |
Well, this has been tedious. | 1:06:42 | 1:06:45 | |
Did you hear about that movie, Constipation? It never came out. | 1:06:45 | 1:06:48 | |
Huh! No, my laugh doesn't want to come out either. | 1:06:48 | 1:06:52 | |
Do you know who I am? | 1:06:52 | 1:06:53 | |
-Not at all. -Do you actually know who I am? | 1:06:53 | 1:06:56 | |
Seriously, why would I know who you are? | 1:06:56 | 1:06:59 | |
Your school needs this joke to be funny. I need this joke to be funny. | 1:07:05 | 1:07:09 | |
But more importantly, YOU need it to be funny. | 1:07:09 | 1:07:12 | |
Did you hear about the fight in the fish and chip shop? | 1:07:12 | 1:07:15 | |
Two fish got battered. | 1:07:15 | 1:07:18 | |
SIREN | 1:07:18 | 1:07:20 | |
Wait, that's a f... The fish got battered. I like it! Ha-ha. | 1:07:20 | 1:07:25 | |
Oh, yeah. | 1:07:25 | 1:07:27 | |
Whoo! | 1:07:29 | 1:07:31 | |
I wonder who won that one. Hmm. | 1:07:31 | 1:07:34 | |
It was... | 1:07:34 | 1:07:36 | |
Bingo! | 1:07:36 | 1:07:37 | |
Wallacestone. | 1:07:38 | 1:07:40 | |
Turn that frown upside down. | 1:07:41 | 1:07:45 | |
Whoo! We have come to the end of our journey, | 1:07:45 | 1:07:48 | |
and I've heard a lot of good jokes. And a lot of bad ones! | 1:07:48 | 1:07:52 | |
So keep a lookout in the sky, because the Joke Master will be back. | 1:07:52 | 1:07:57 | |
So for the last time, joke you later, jokesters! | 1:07:57 | 1:08:02 |