Episode 49 The Joke Machine


Episode 49

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Across the UK...

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Sightings have been reported of a mysterious object in the sky.

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-What does it want from us?

-Thousands of children...

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Hoping they will be chosen.

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One man is on a mission to find the funniest jokes.

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He is...

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..The Joke Master.

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That's my name, don't wear it out!

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And this is The Joke Machine!

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Joke Machine, activate!

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Argh! Oh!

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HE SIGHS

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Joke Machine, activate...

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Where are we going?

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Birchgrove Primary! We're the stars!

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Crackin' up time, jokesters!

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Joke me up, hotshot.

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What do you call a woman who burns her bills in a fire?

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I don't know.

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-Burn-a-debt.

-BUZZER AND BOOING

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I've just looked up "funny" in the dictionary

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and there's not a picture of you.

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How could you hurt my feelings like this?!

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Eh?

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Argh!

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Do not disappoint me.

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What did the cake say to the knife?

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What?

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You want a piece of me?

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CHEERING 100% funny.

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You're dancing.

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Stop dancing now.

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It's the Joke Machine, not the Dance Machine.

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Don't make me do this.

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What have we got?

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What do you call a sheep on a trampoline?

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I don't know. What?

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A woolly jumper.

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Do I like this joke? No.

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No, I don't like this joke.

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You don't even know how to use a trampoline

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so I don't know why you're saying that!

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I injured myself on a trampoline a while ago

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and I can't go on it for medical reasons.

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Well, the sheep also did and he made it.

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Let's see YOU on the trampoline, then!

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HE SCREAMS

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Next!

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What's the best way to speak to a monster?

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What?

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From a long distance!

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P-too! P-too! Wa-kow! Yahoo!

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Yay!

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Oh, yeah, oh, yeah!

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How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?

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Ten-tickles!

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Eh-eh.

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You obviously don't know anything about jokes.

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You should try one yourself.

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All right, I will.

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A dinosaur walks into...

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Whoa! Is that the time? Got to go! Bye!

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Bring in the next victims!

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I mean, jokers!

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CHEERING

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Let's get cracking, jokesters.

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Joke away.

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What do you give a dog with a temperature?

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What?

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Sauces, ketchup, anything for a hot dog.

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BUZZER AND BOOING

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That is genuinely a bad joke and bad advice.

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If your dog's got a temperature,

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please take it to a trained professional.

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What did the frog order from the takeaway shop?

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I don't know.

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French flies and Diet Croak.

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Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

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Yes!

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HE SPLUTTERS I can't breathe that was so funny.

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What's that on your top?

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Erm, it's a birthday badge.

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Let's hope you got a joke book for your birthday.

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When are doctors angry?

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When?

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When they run out of "patients".

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# Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you

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# Happy birthday That joke was funny

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# Happy birthday to you! #

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Thank you!

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Just blowing out candles.

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Go for it. Good luck.

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Well, there were two cows in a field and one said, "Moo"

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and the other one said,

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"Aw, I was going to say that!"

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I think cows have that problem every day!

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Yay!

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Next joke.

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What do you get if you cross a snowman and a shark?

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A frostbite.

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HE ROLLS HIS TONGUE No!

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Seriously?

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I have never been more serious in my life.

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Aw, come on! Give me a good one!

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What do you call a person with jelly in one ear and custard in the other?

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I don't know.

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A trifle deaf.

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BUZZER Well, that would be...

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a trifle annoying.

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Who could possibly have won that one?

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It was...

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Bingo!

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St Edmund's! CHEERING

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Better luck next time, Birchgrove.

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Thanks, guys. We got some good jokes.

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But me need more! Ha-ha! Yargh!

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Joke ya later!

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