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Many years ago, a terrible plague consumed | 0:00:05 | 0:00:09 | |
the mighty kingdom of Fyredor. | 0:00:09 | 0:00:12 | |
The only hope of a cure rested with one young wizard, sent out to scour | 0:00:12 | 0:00:16 | |
the earth for precious ingredients. | 0:00:16 | 0:00:19 | |
After many years, he returned with an antidote. | 0:00:20 | 0:00:25 | |
The king's sons, Princes Dick and Dom were the first to be cured. | 0:00:26 | 0:00:30 | |
And the last to be cured. | 0:00:30 | 0:00:34 | |
They were banished from the kingdom, with their trusty mage Mannitol, | 0:00:34 | 0:00:38 | |
and light-fingered servant Lutin. | 0:00:38 | 0:00:41 | |
All never to return until they had collected the ingredients | 0:00:41 | 0:00:47 | |
to re-make the antidote. | 0:00:47 | 0:00:49 | |
And so, the Legend of Dick and Dom had begun. | 0:00:49 | 0:00:54 | |
Well, there it is, the final ingredient... The griffin's snort. | 0:01:05 | 0:01:11 | |
-Shame it's so disgusting, really. -No, it's not... | 0:01:12 | 0:01:16 | |
I know it's snot, Mannitol, that's why it's so disgusting! | 0:01:16 | 0:01:19 | |
I just didn't expect the griffin's snort to come from its botty bum, | 0:01:19 | 0:01:24 | |
did you, Dick? | 0:01:24 | 0:01:25 | |
Shall we? | 0:01:27 | 0:01:28 | |
Are you sure it has to be smeared from the hand of a maiden? | 0:01:28 | 0:01:32 | |
-Yes. -Yes. | 0:01:32 | 0:01:33 | |
Yeah! Hooray! | 0:01:56 | 0:01:59 | |
Er, Princes, shouldn't we be heading back to Fyredor to cure the kingdom? | 0:02:21 | 0:02:27 | |
Oh, yeah, good idea, lead the way. | 0:02:27 | 0:02:29 | |
Oh, no, that's fine, don't worry about me, | 0:02:39 | 0:02:42 | |
I'll just, er...get these, yeah? | 0:02:42 | 0:02:46 | |
And so our intrepid adventurers headed back home. | 0:02:46 | 0:02:49 | |
As it was their last journey, they decided to take the scenic route, | 0:02:49 | 0:02:55 | |
which was pretty much like all the other routes, just longer. | 0:02:55 | 0:02:59 | |
Are we nearly there yet? | 0:02:59 | 0:03:01 | |
No. | 0:03:01 | 0:03:03 | |
Are we nearly there yet? | 0:03:05 | 0:03:07 | |
No. | 0:03:07 | 0:03:10 | |
Are we...? | 0:03:10 | 0:03:12 | |
No! | 0:03:12 | 0:03:13 | |
Stop moaning or I'll ram my sausage so far up your hooter, you'll... | 0:03:13 | 0:03:17 | |
Oi, stop fighting! | 0:03:17 | 0:03:19 | |
The quest is over and pretty soon we won't be spending | 0:03:19 | 0:03:22 | |
much time together any more. So really we should be making | 0:03:22 | 0:03:26 | |
the most of the time we've got left. | 0:03:26 | 0:03:28 | |
We have had some good times, eh? | 0:03:28 | 0:03:31 | |
Princes Dick and Dom versus the Slime Ball. | 0:03:31 | 0:03:35 | |
THEY CHEER | 0:03:50 | 0:03:52 | |
It has been an most trying day. Although I didn't lose my temper! | 0:03:52 | 0:03:57 | |
Not for 40 years! | 0:03:57 | 0:03:58 | |
-Boogies! -Argh! | 0:03:58 | 0:04:01 | |
A most ingenious game, it appears to have quite taken off. | 0:04:01 | 0:04:06 | |
Yes, er, these qualities of patience that I have... | 0:04:06 | 0:04:10 | |
-Can I have another biscuit? -Er, yes... | 0:04:10 | 0:04:13 | |
Qualities of patience that over the years... | 0:04:13 | 0:04:16 | |
-Can I have another? -If you must. -What does this do? | 0:04:16 | 0:04:19 | |
That's most precious, I must respectfully ask you leave it alone. | 0:04:19 | 0:04:23 | |
Does the head move? | 0:04:23 | 0:04:25 | |
No, no, it does not, please do not touch it. | 0:04:25 | 0:04:29 | |
Now, I have these qualities... | 0:04:29 | 0:04:31 | |
-Boogies! -Please! | 0:04:31 | 0:04:32 | |
Can I have another biscuit? | 0:04:32 | 0:04:34 | |
I did ask! I did ask you leave that alone, | 0:04:34 | 0:04:38 | |
don't try and mend it now, | 0:04:38 | 0:04:40 | |
-I am concerned... -Can I have another biscuit? | 0:04:40 | 0:04:43 | |
-No... -Boogies! | 0:04:43 | 0:04:45 | |
Right! Enough! Cease this nonsense! | 0:04:45 | 0:04:48 | |
These childish, immature, petty displays! | 0:04:48 | 0:04:52 | |
Pull yourselves together! How old are you? | 0:04:52 | 0:04:55 | |
I've never seen such pathetic members of staff in all my life! | 0:04:55 | 0:05:02 | |
I'll just, er, flip this back a few years. | 0:05:08 | 0:05:13 | |
HE PLAYS "CHOPSTICKS" | 0:05:20 | 0:05:23 | |
-No! You don't do that! -What?! | 0:05:25 | 0:05:26 | |
You do this. | 0:05:26 | 0:05:28 | |
DELICATE MUSIC PLAYS | 0:05:28 | 0:05:30 | |
-Finished? -No! | 0:05:29 | 0:05:30 | |
Finished! | 0:05:30 | 0:05:31 | |
Begin the marriage ceremony. And make it funny. | 0:05:31 | 0:05:34 | |
HE SIGHS | 0:05:34 | 0:05:36 | |
Knock, knock! Guess who's gathered here today? | 0:05:36 | 0:05:42 | |
It's us! | 0:05:42 | 0:05:43 | |
HE LAUGHS | 0:05:43 | 0:05:45 | |
THEY GRUNT | 0:05:45 | 0:05:47 | |
Milky! Milky! | 0:06:02 | 0:06:06 | |
-So you think that'll work then? -Of course. | 0:06:08 | 0:06:11 | |
THUNDER ROLLS | 0:06:11 | 0:06:14 | |
Milk! Milk! | 0:06:17 | 0:06:19 | |
BIRD CAWS OVERHEAD | 0:06:20 | 0:06:22 | |
Not milk! Definitely not milk! | 0:06:23 | 0:06:27 | |
HE CACKLES | 0:06:28 | 0:06:31 | |
This is never going to work. | 0:06:34 | 0:06:36 | |
Trust me. Vampire babies love a good Mummy. | 0:06:36 | 0:06:39 | |
You'll be able to slip in there past them all | 0:06:39 | 0:06:42 | |
and give Alan all your lovely milk. | 0:06:42 | 0:06:45 | |
Yes, and I shall be waiting nearby with the bucket. | 0:06:45 | 0:06:49 | |
As soon as he starts blowing chunks I'll catch some. | 0:06:49 | 0:06:53 | |
Still I don't understand why I have to be the Mummy. | 0:06:53 | 0:06:56 | |
Goo goo, ga ga, goo goo! | 0:06:56 | 0:06:58 | |
Yes, he says it's because you've always looked like a girl. | 0:06:58 | 0:07:02 | |
Shut up! | 0:07:04 | 0:07:05 | |
Now, remember, don't touch anything. | 0:07:06 | 0:07:10 | |
Can I touch the floor?! | 0:07:10 | 0:07:12 | |
I mean, I'm touching it now! | 0:07:12 | 0:07:15 | |
Oh, oh, oh! | 0:07:15 | 0:07:16 | |
Wargh! | 0:07:16 | 0:07:18 | |
CRASHING AND BANGING | 0:07:18 | 0:07:20 | |
MORE CRASHING | 0:07:20 | 0:07:23 | |
CAT MEOWS, GLASS TINKLES | 0:07:23 | 0:07:25 | |
Good times. | 0:07:31 | 0:07:33 | |
Not long till we're greeted like heroes and showered with riches. | 0:07:33 | 0:07:37 | |
Gold, silver... | 0:07:37 | 0:07:39 | |
Cheese! Mmmmm. | 0:07:39 | 0:07:41 | |
Are youse lot in or out? | 0:07:48 | 0:07:51 | |
In! | 0:07:53 | 0:07:54 | |
Yay! | 0:07:54 | 0:07:55 | |
Out. | 0:08:09 | 0:08:11 | |
In. | 0:08:15 | 0:08:16 | |
Out. | 0:08:19 | 0:08:20 | |
In. | 0:08:22 | 0:08:23 | |
Out. | 0:08:24 | 0:08:26 | |
In, out, | 0:08:26 | 0:08:29 | |
in, out, | 0:08:29 | 0:08:31 | |
in, out, | 0:08:31 | 0:08:32 | |
in, out, in, out... | 0:08:32 | 0:08:34 | |
Right, get out of here you wee trouble maker! | 0:08:34 | 0:08:38 | |
And I know where you live! | 0:08:38 | 0:08:39 | |
You know, maybe we should test out the potion first. | 0:08:41 | 0:08:45 | |
What if it's wrong? | 0:08:45 | 0:08:46 | |
We could try it on the guy at the border. | 0:08:46 | 0:08:48 | |
No, no, no, he's busy. | 0:08:48 | 0:08:50 | |
Ah, here comes someone. Ask him. | 0:08:50 | 0:08:53 | |
Good-day plaguey citizen! We are Princes Dick and Dom, | 0:08:53 | 0:08:56 | |
back from our quest and we are here to save you. | 0:08:56 | 0:08:58 | |
Not today, thank you. | 0:08:58 | 0:09:00 | |
No, he said, "We are Princes Dick and Dom, | 0:09:00 | 0:09:02 | |
"we have the cure for the plague!" | 0:09:02 | 0:09:04 | |
Oh, right, yeah. | 0:09:04 | 0:09:06 | |
Hello, my name is Hermann. | 0:09:06 | 0:09:09 | |
Well, how would you like to be cured of the plague? | 0:09:09 | 0:09:13 | |
No, thank you, I'm just going for my swimming lesson. | 0:09:13 | 0:09:18 | |
But wouldn't you like to be rid of those spots and... | 0:09:18 | 0:09:20 | |
HE SNEEZES | 0:09:20 | 0:09:24 | |
..sneezing? | 0:09:21 | 0:09:24 | |
Well, since you mention it, I have had a bit of trouble, | 0:09:24 | 0:09:27 | |
last week I was sick. | 0:09:27 | 0:09:29 | |
All right. | 0:09:30 | 0:09:31 | |
Ah, actually it tastes quite nice, it tastes a little bit like... | 0:09:40 | 0:09:46 | |
Where did he go? | 0:09:46 | 0:09:47 | |
Argh!Argh! | 0:09:48 | 0:09:50 | |
- Eurgh! - What? | 0:09:50 | 0:09:54 | |
Aargh! | 0:09:55 | 0:09:56 | |
This doesn't look good. | 0:09:56 | 0:09:58 | |
Good?! It's vile! It's the nastiest thing I've ever seen! | 0:09:58 | 0:10:03 | |
-Really? -What, nastier than the time we...? | 0:10:03 | 0:10:06 | |
BABY CRIES | 0:10:07 | 0:10:09 | |
-He doesn't look well. -That means he's... | 0:10:09 | 0:10:13 | |
Gonna vom! Mannitol, get the bucket! | 0:10:13 | 0:10:16 | |
Urgh! | 0:10:19 | 0:10:21 | |
Argh! | 0:10:49 | 0:10:51 | |
SHE SNARLS | 0:10:51 | 0:10:53 | |
I haven't seen her that angry since I sat on her hamster. | 0:10:53 | 0:10:57 | |
Oh! | 0:11:08 | 0:11:10 | |
Moo! | 0:11:10 | 0:11:12 | |
Hang on a minute, I think it's working! | 0:11:12 | 0:11:15 | |
Mmmm! | 0:11:40 | 0:11:43 | |
Scones! | 0:11:43 | 0:11:44 | |
Chicken. Mmmmm! | 0:11:47 | 0:11:50 | |
Grapes! | 0:11:50 | 0:11:52 | |
Carrots! Mmm... | 0:11:57 | 0:12:00 | |
Urgh! | 0:12:00 | 0:12:01 | |
Eww, that is gross! | 0:12:14 | 0:12:16 | |
SHE COUGHS | 0:12:16 | 0:12:18 | |
RIBBIT! | 0:12:18 | 0:12:20 | |
MIAOW! | 0:12:30 | 0:12:31 | |
Ah, hello, you little pussy! | 0:12:31 | 0:12:34 | |
CAT HISSES | 0:12:34 | 0:12:36 | |
Call that nasty? How about the time we...? | 0:12:37 | 0:12:40 | |
-Well, we haven't got Dick. -Where is he? | 0:12:40 | 0:12:43 | |
-Over there, behind that bush. -And what's he doing? | 0:12:43 | 0:12:46 | |
OW! > | 0:12:46 | 0:12:47 | |
You know that week-old curried haddock? | 0:12:48 | 0:12:51 | |
The one that smelt 50 foot away? | 0:12:51 | 0:12:53 | |
Dick fancied a midnight snack and it was the only thing available. | 0:12:53 | 0:12:57 | |
Come on, baby! Come on! | 0:12:57 | 0:12:59 | |
FARTING | 0:12:59 | 0:13:00 | |
-Eurgh! -That's definitely the haddock. | 0:13:01 | 0:13:04 | |
Mashed potato is good. | 0:13:04 | 0:13:05 | |
You can... You can... | 0:13:05 | 0:13:07 | |
You can throw it at Dom's face! | 0:13:07 | 0:13:10 | |
Hm, let me try this. | 0:13:10 | 0:13:12 | |
Can I have a go? | 0:13:16 | 0:13:19 | |
Yep, yep! | 0:13:21 | 0:13:23 | |
A bit more, I think... Yep, a bit more. | 0:13:26 | 0:13:29 | |
ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYS | 0:13:41 | 0:13:44 | |
I love a happy ending. | 0:13:53 | 0:13:55 | |
Happy ending?! | 0:13:55 | 0:13:57 | |
All right! All right! | 0:13:57 | 0:13:58 | |
What are we going to do about that? | 0:13:58 | 0:14:00 | |
I have got a name, you know! | 0:14:00 | 0:14:02 | |
We can't give the potion to everyone if it's got side-effects. | 0:14:02 | 0:14:05 | |
We'll be a laughing stock. | 0:14:05 | 0:14:07 | |
All right, even more of a laughing stock. | 0:14:09 | 0:14:12 | |
I could always use my magic. | 0:14:12 | 0:14:15 | |
ALL: No! | 0:14:15 | 0:14:16 | |
Look, there's a PROPER doctor down the road. | 0:14:16 | 0:14:19 | |
He's a professional, not like you unqualified nincompoops. | 0:14:19 | 0:14:23 | |
Fine, we'll go there. | 0:14:23 | 0:14:25 | |
-I'll have you know, I have got certificates! -They're not yours. | 0:14:25 | 0:14:29 | |
So, our heroes along with the now even sicker Hermann | 0:14:29 | 0:14:33 | |
headed back across the border to search for a doctor, | 0:14:33 | 0:14:37 | |
one with GCSEs and stuff. | 0:14:37 | 0:14:39 | |
Go on! Get out and stay out! | 0:14:39 | 0:14:43 | |
I've waited here for ten years! | 0:14:45 | 0:14:47 | |
-Hello? -Doctor Cheese? | 0:14:56 | 0:14:59 | |
I've got a bad feeling, let's just go. | 0:14:59 | 0:15:02 | |
Nonsense, it's going to be fine. | 0:15:02 | 0:15:04 | |
We just need to fix Hermann, sort out the potion | 0:15:04 | 0:15:07 | |
and we'll be out of here before you can say..."Quag". | 0:15:07 | 0:15:12 | |
Quag? | 0:15:12 | 0:15:14 | |
Come on, Lutin, when have I ever, ever let you down before? | 0:15:14 | 0:15:19 | |
RUN!!! | 0:15:20 | 0:15:22 | |
I love dreams like this! | 0:15:22 | 0:15:25 | |
You're not asleep, you idiot! | 0:15:25 | 0:15:27 | |
Like I'd steal a load of fish and shove them down my pants! | 0:15:27 | 0:15:31 | |
Does that sound like something I would do? | 0:15:31 | 0:15:34 | |
Ohhhh! "Come on an heroic quest", you said. | 0:15:39 | 0:15:41 | |
"Riches beyond your wildest dreams", you said. | 0:15:41 | 0:15:45 | |
-Does this look like a dream? -That looks more like a trout. | 0:15:45 | 0:15:48 | |
Wait! The running stops here. | 0:15:51 | 0:15:55 | |
Why? Because we're gonna face the danger? | 0:15:55 | 0:15:57 | |
No. Because of the lake. | 0:15:57 | 0:15:59 | |
Oh, great. So now we're just going to stand here!? | 0:15:59 | 0:16:02 | |
Oh, great. So now I'm just going to get hit by that thing!? | 0:16:04 | 0:16:07 | |
Oh, great. So now I'm going to fall over!? | 0:16:09 | 0:16:13 | |
This is it, this is the end! | 0:16:13 | 0:16:16 | |
You've been like a brother to me, Dom! | 0:16:16 | 0:16:18 | |
-I AM your brother, you twonk! -True. | 0:16:18 | 0:16:21 | |
This better not be my birthday surprise. | 0:16:21 | 0:16:24 | |
This is beneath the dignity of a talented wizard. | 0:16:24 | 0:16:27 | |
You shouldn't have any problems then! | 0:16:27 | 0:16:29 | |
-We're running out of ideas. -We never had any ideas. | 0:16:29 | 0:16:32 | |
Put it on. Put it on. | 0:16:32 | 0:16:33 | |
What's the one thing that's going to attract cows back to a town? | 0:16:33 | 0:16:37 | |
-Bulls! -And this is one handsome bull! | 0:16:37 | 0:16:42 | |
Now run around these fields and you'll have cows | 0:16:42 | 0:16:45 | |
following you back before you can say... | 0:16:45 | 0:16:47 | |
-Moo? -Moo. | 0:16:47 | 0:16:49 | |
(MUFFLED) I suppose it is rather an adventure. | 0:16:49 | 0:16:51 | |
-Shut up. -See you later! | 0:16:51 | 0:16:54 | |
It'll be fine! | 0:16:54 | 0:16:55 | |
It was just one little mistake. | 0:16:55 | 0:16:57 | |
Er, hello? | 0:16:57 | 0:16:59 | |
It was just two little mistakes. | 0:16:59 | 0:17:01 | |
Yes, you set us both on fire. | 0:17:01 | 0:17:04 | |
And then you turn the dragon and his flappy clack into a prune. | 0:17:04 | 0:17:12 | |
I got hurt too, you know. The spell rebounded and hit me on the head. | 0:17:12 | 0:17:17 | |
Yes, that is a rather strangely shaped scar. | 0:17:17 | 0:17:22 | |
-I mean it looks like a... -A big bum? | 0:17:22 | 0:17:25 | |
-A big bum. -Yeah all right, all right, so | 0:17:25 | 0:17:27 | |
I suppose there were a couple of minor issues with the spell. | 0:17:27 | 0:17:30 | |
Minor? Minor? | 0:17:30 | 0:17:33 | |
-Look at me?! -You didn't get burned! | 0:17:33 | 0:17:36 | |
No, but my entire body's vanished! | 0:17:36 | 0:17:40 | |
-Big deal! -I'm just a head! | 0:17:40 | 0:17:42 | |
How am I going to get home? | 0:17:42 | 0:17:45 | |
-Roll! -HE GIGGLES | 0:17:45 | 0:17:48 | |
You've not turned Dick young. | 0:17:48 | 0:17:50 | |
-No, you've turned him into a pile of... -Dung! | 0:17:50 | 0:17:53 | |
Oops. | 0:17:53 | 0:17:55 | |
Oops? | 0:17:55 | 0:17:57 | |
Is that all you can say? | 0:17:57 | 0:17:59 | |
-Oops. -I think you just stood in Dick. | 0:17:59 | 0:18:02 | |
Hello, folks! | 0:18:13 | 0:18:14 | |
I'm Dr Cheese. Cheese to meet you. | 0:18:14 | 0:18:18 | |
Knock out that, knock out. | 0:18:18 | 0:18:19 | |
Don't worry, just a mild concussion, not a problem at all. | 0:18:21 | 0:18:25 | |
Way-hey. Now then, young sir... | 0:18:27 | 0:18:30 | |
..what can I do for you? | 0:18:32 | 0:18:34 | |
Ahem! It's our friend here. He's not very well. | 0:18:34 | 0:18:38 | |
I am not very well. | 0:18:38 | 0:18:40 | |
Mushrooms. | 0:18:40 | 0:18:42 | |
Ah yes, ah yes, he definitely looks a bit peaky. | 0:18:42 | 0:18:46 | |
No, not him, him! | 0:18:46 | 0:18:49 | |
Oh, I see, | 0:18:49 | 0:18:52 | |
Now then, young madam, I'm so sorry I did not see you there. | 0:18:52 | 0:18:56 | |
Stand up when I'm talking... Oh, you are, I beg your pardon. Excuse me. | 0:18:56 | 0:19:00 | |
Now then, sunshine, keep taking the tablets | 0:19:00 | 0:19:03 | |
and come back and see me in two weeks. | 0:19:03 | 0:19:05 | |
Now then, Miss, what seems to be the problem? | 0:19:06 | 0:19:09 | |
I told you this was a bad idea! Let's go. | 0:19:13 | 0:19:15 | |
Give him a chance. | 0:19:15 | 0:19:17 | |
We've met loads of weird people and they've always helped us out. | 0:19:17 | 0:19:21 | |
HE BARKS | 0:19:21 | 0:19:23 | |
I'm actually completely sane. | 0:19:23 | 0:19:26 | |
HE BARKS | 0:19:26 | 0:19:28 | |
I'm just playin' with you. | 0:19:28 | 0:19:30 | |
So why are you out here all alone, wearing nothing but them old rags? | 0:19:30 | 0:19:34 | |
What can I say? I like my own company. | 0:19:34 | 0:19:38 | |
I'm not surprised, smelling like that. | 0:19:38 | 0:19:41 | |
It's an expression of my belief in personal freedom. | 0:19:41 | 0:19:45 | |
I don't get many visitors, so I figure, why not go au naturel? | 0:19:45 | 0:19:49 | |
Don't...go to the dark castle, | 0:19:50 | 0:19:55 | |
it's dangerous! | 0:19:55 | 0:19:57 | |
What? | 0:19:57 | 0:19:58 | |
Don't go there, nobody ever comes back! | 0:19:58 | 0:20:02 | |
Must be great if no-one ever comes back. | 0:20:02 | 0:20:04 | |
Don't talk to the Baroness, she's cursed! | 0:20:04 | 0:20:09 | |
Is he talking to us? Cos he's all over the shop. | 0:20:09 | 0:20:12 | |
Don't stew your apples in March! They'll be tart! | 0:20:12 | 0:20:16 | |
Don't feed a white rabbit Brussels sprouts! It turns green! | 0:20:16 | 0:20:21 | |
And DON'T play the bassoon in the bath! | 0:20:21 | 0:20:26 | |
It's wrong. | 0:20:26 | 0:20:28 | |
Something terrible has driven him beyond mad. | 0:20:28 | 0:20:31 | |
I hope you've both washed yer hands. I can't stand grubbiness! | 0:20:31 | 0:20:37 | |
What have we got here then? | 0:20:37 | 0:20:39 | |
Smells like a potion! | 0:20:41 | 0:20:44 | |
Ding, dong! That is one good-looking filly! | 0:20:49 | 0:20:54 | |
Princess, I've waited my whole life for this moment, | 0:20:55 | 0:20:59 | |
you are more beautiful than I could have ever... | 0:20:59 | 0:21:03 | |
Whoa! | 0:21:03 | 0:21:04 | |
# A volcano erupted - KAPOW! And out came the beast | 0:21:04 | 0:21:10 | |
# Half lion - rrrr! - half-snake | 0:21:10 | 0:21:12 | |
# Oh, no! And 12 foot at least | 0:21:12 | 0:21:16 | |
# It was a fury! # | 0:21:16 | 0:21:18 | |
We need shelter. Shelter! | 0:21:19 | 0:21:21 | |
The sharks are coming? | 0:21:21 | 0:21:25 | |
BOTH: No, SHELTER! | 0:21:25 | 0:21:27 | |
You must be Dick and Dom. | 0:21:31 | 0:21:34 | |
How did you know that? | 0:21:35 | 0:21:36 | |
I am the witch doctor. I know everything. | 0:21:36 | 0:21:39 | |
-Ooh! -Pah! Right. | 0:21:39 | 0:21:42 | |
You are princes. You are on a quest. You...don't like walnuts. | 0:21:42 | 0:21:46 | |
-You...haven't changed your pants for six days. -Now I believe you. | 0:21:46 | 0:21:51 | |
I am Old Moss. Hello. | 0:21:51 | 0:21:53 | |
-That'll explain the beard, then. -Because it's happy hour! | 0:21:53 | 0:21:57 | |
HE WHISTLES | 0:21:57 | 0:22:00 | |
MUSIC: "Rockit" by Herbie Hancock | 0:21:58 | 0:22:00 | |
HE BURPS | 0:22:07 | 0:22:08 | |
This yours, mate? Gonna have to give you a ticket. | 0:22:08 | 0:22:11 | |
Do you want me to cut your nipples off?! Eh? Oi, come ere! | 0:22:11 | 0:22:16 | |
I tell you what, young sir. | 0:22:16 | 0:22:18 | |
It's a good job you and your friends came to me when you did. | 0:22:18 | 0:22:22 | |
Because you are all extremely poorly! | 0:22:22 | 0:22:26 | |
The thing is, we've come to see you about our potion. | 0:22:26 | 0:22:29 | |
There's something's wrong with it. | 0:22:29 | 0:22:32 | |
Arsenal! | 0:22:32 | 0:22:33 | |
Gentlemen - lady - Doctor! | 0:22:33 | 0:22:38 | |
How long's this going to take? I've I've got my swimming lesson soon. | 0:22:38 | 0:22:41 | |
Patience, patients! BELL RINGS | 0:22:41 | 0:22:44 | |
Hey, it's medicine time! | 0:22:44 | 0:22:46 | |
GLUG-GLUG-GLUG! | 0:22:48 | 0:22:50 | |
Way-hey! | 0:22:51 | 0:22:52 | |
You know what, this is even worse than that time we... | 0:22:54 | 0:22:59 | |
THEY SCREAM | 0:23:00 | 0:23:03 | |
I was afraid this might happen. | 0:23:05 | 0:23:08 | |
It's going to go wrong, I'm too stressed, I can't deal with it! | 0:23:08 | 0:23:12 | |
HE CRIES | 0:23:12 | 0:23:13 | |
Pull yourself together, man!! | 0:23:22 | 0:23:25 | |
'The most beautiful girls' | 0:23:25 | 0:23:26 | |
in the village. | 0:23:26 | 0:23:28 | |
-Kylie... -BURP! | 0:23:28 | 0:23:30 | |
..and Kate. | 0:23:31 | 0:23:33 | |
Blimey! Where did you find her? | 0:23:33 | 0:23:36 | |
That's my daughter. Kate Moss. | 0:23:36 | 0:23:38 | |
-Who's this? -That's, er Kylie. | 0:23:39 | 0:23:42 | |
Well, hello! | 0:23:42 | 0:23:43 | |
BURP! | 0:23:43 | 0:23:44 | |
Eurgh! Blimey! | 0:23:44 | 0:23:46 | |
That's what I said. | 0:23:46 | 0:23:49 | |
Who are these two? | 0:23:47 | 0:23:49 | |
They're here for the dating competition. | 0:23:49 | 0:23:51 | |
Now there are a couple of things that don't seem right to me. | 0:23:51 | 0:23:56 | |
-Yep that's one of them. -And that's the other one. | 0:23:56 | 0:23:59 | |
These people are supposed to be living in fear, right? Ow! | 0:23:59 | 0:24:03 | |
And that they do know that these creatures are furries, | 0:24:03 | 0:24:09 | |
not furies, right? | 0:24:09 | 0:24:10 | |
-Ah, yes. -So why's no-one mentioned it? They don't seem bothered. | 0:24:10 | 0:24:14 | |
That's fascinating, Brainiac. | 0:24:14 | 0:24:16 | |
-But how are we going to get out of these? -Magic? | 0:24:16 | 0:24:19 | |
Both: NO! | 0:24:19 | 0:24:22 | |
THEY SCREAM | 0:24:22 | 0:24:23 | |
Nantwich...shyamalan... melamine...spandex... | 0:24:23 | 0:24:27 | |
Wa-hey! I've got it! | 0:24:30 | 0:24:32 | |
I lost that two weeks ago! Wondered where it went. | 0:24:32 | 0:24:35 | |
THEY GROAN | 0:24:35 | 0:24:37 | |
And I've also found the answer to your potion problem. | 0:24:37 | 0:24:41 | |
Well, tell us. | 0:24:44 | 0:24:46 | |
Oh, right, sorry, yes. | 0:24:46 | 0:24:48 | |
Now then, where did you get this potion from? | 0:24:48 | 0:24:51 | |
Well, we have found all the ingredients on the magic scroll. | 0:24:51 | 0:24:55 | |
Yes, I see. | 0:24:55 | 0:24:57 | |
And has any of your magic ever gone wrong before? | 0:24:57 | 0:25:02 | |
-No. -Yes. | 0:25:00 | 0:25:02 | |
I see. | 0:25:03 | 0:25:05 | |
And does this potion contain a dragon's clack? | 0:25:05 | 0:25:09 | |
-Well, yes, it does actually. -I see. | 0:25:09 | 0:25:12 | |
And may I enquire, as to what else is in it? | 0:25:12 | 0:25:16 | |
A pint of milk, the fruit of the Neehi tribe, | 0:25:20 | 0:25:23 | |
a lock of hair from the golden wig of Barnet, | 0:25:23 | 0:25:26 | |
some dandruff from Princess Gladys, a magnofish, | 0:25:26 | 0:25:29 | |
the tears of fury, | 0:25:29 | 0:25:32 | |
hairy bat saliva, | 0:25:32 | 0:25:35 | |
Alan the vampire baby's sick, | 0:25:35 | 0:25:39 | |
the mists of time, | 0:25:39 | 0:25:41 | |
the king's conker, the song of the swamp monster, | 0:25:41 | 0:25:45 | |
and some griffin's snot. | 0:25:45 | 0:25:47 | |
Well, folks, think I can safely say what the problem with your potion is! | 0:25:48 | 0:25:54 | |
You've all been collecting the ingredients | 0:25:54 | 0:25:57 | |
for a particularly strong potion for the treatment of... | 0:25:57 | 0:26:00 | |
athlete's foot! | 0:26:00 | 0:26:01 | |
What?! | 0:26:01 | 0:26:03 | |
But, I don't understand... | 0:26:03 | 0:26:06 | |
Oh, no. | 0:26:09 | 0:26:10 | |
Mannitol, what have you done?! | 0:26:10 | 0:26:14 | |
I... I... | 0:26:14 | 0:26:16 | |
I forgot I had a prescription scroll! | 0:26:16 | 0:26:22 | |
It's for my fungal foot infection. | 0:26:22 | 0:26:24 | |
You idiot! | 0:26:24 | 0:26:27 | |
You mean this whole time we've been traipsing around, | 0:26:27 | 0:26:31 | |
putting ourselves in mortal danger, | 0:26:31 | 0:26:33 | |
just to cure your itchy feet?! | 0:26:33 | 0:26:35 | |
Oh, yes, you've given your friend here such a high dose | 0:26:35 | 0:26:39 | |
he's practically a fungus! What do you think of it so far? | 0:26:39 | 0:26:42 | |
Ruggish! | 0:26:42 | 0:26:43 | |
Knock out, that, knock out! | 0:26:43 | 0:26:46 | |
Come on, let's go. | 0:26:46 | 0:26:48 | |
Yes, we're leaving. | 0:26:48 | 0:26:51 | |
Not you, mushroom face. | 0:26:51 | 0:26:53 | |
Ah... | 0:26:53 | 0:26:55 | |
I can't believe that after everything we've been through... | 0:27:03 | 0:27:07 | |
the near misses, the mishaps... | 0:27:07 | 0:27:09 | |
-The monsters. -The muck-muck. | 0:27:09 | 0:27:11 | |
..we have to start our quest all over again. | 0:27:11 | 0:27:15 | |
Well, it could be worse. | 0:27:15 | 0:27:18 | |
And how could it be worse? | 0:27:18 | 0:27:20 | |
I have my athlete's foot cure. | 0:27:20 | 0:27:23 | |
Now I can stop borrowing your socks whenever mine are flaky. | 0:27:23 | 0:27:28 | |
Oh, and er, I do still have the proper scroll. | 0:27:28 | 0:27:32 | |
Oh-h-h! | 0:27:32 | 0:27:34 | |
Get him! | 0:27:34 | 0:27:35 | |
Come 'ere, you slaphead! | 0:27:37 | 0:27:39 | |
And so, their kingdom still in the grip of plague, | 0:27:39 | 0:27:43 | |
our brave heroes prepare to begin their quest all over again, | 0:27:43 | 0:27:47 | |
more monsters, more madness, more... | 0:27:47 | 0:27:50 | |
HE BLITHERS | 0:27:50 | 0:27:52 | |
Wait! | 0:27:52 | 0:27:53 | |
Can I go now? I've been stuck in here for months | 0:27:56 | 0:28:00 | |
and there's not even decent biscuits. | 0:28:00 | 0:28:02 | |
I used to be in a hit TV comedy, you know? | 0:28:02 | 0:28:05 | |
No, no, you couldn't pay me in cash? | 0:28:05 | 0:28:07 | |
I was told it was twice that amount! | 0:28:07 | 0:28:10 | |
Oh, is this thing still on? Oh! | 0:28:10 | 0:28:12 |