Invasion of the Bane The Sarah Jane Adventures

I saw amazing things, out there in space.

But there's strangeness to be found wherever you turn.

Life on Earth can be an adventure too.

You just need to know where to look.

-Bubbleshock... for maximum performance.

-Oh, she's got the telly working, that's the first priority.

Let's shift!

Plenty more boxes.

-Do us a favour, find the kettle, I'm parched.

-Maria!

Coming!

Pass me that lamp cos it's quite fragile.

Maria, the cutlery's in the boot, go and fetch it.

-Living room, love?

-No, that says "kitchen". Can't you read?

And go round the side. I did say.

-Mind you, not bad.

-Mum! Stop fancying the removal men!

Oh, they love it.

-Besides, they're getting paid!

-Ooh!

Cutlery, go on.

Hiya.

Put it by the window. Thanks.

Thank you, boys!

Come on then.

All done. Congratulations. Our new home.

Ooh! Look at me! It's nearly six, I'd better be off.

Can't you stay for tea, Mum?

I'd love to, but Ivan's cooking me dinner back home.

But you are gonna love it, sweetheart. I promise.

-I liked the old house.

-Your mum wanted the money.

Don't start. This is a much better catchment area, that old place they were holding you back.

They were my friends.

Well, you'll get a better catchment of friends.

You'll settle in, don't worry.

And you.

You still can't make a cup of tea.

Oh, Alan, I nearly forgot, can you give me that cheque?

I don't know where my cheque book is.

Oh, all right. Well, post it - first thing tomorrow, if you could.

-Sure.

-Angel. Bye, bye! Big kiss!

You and me, eh?

Come on.

-ON TELEVISION:

-Bubbleshock!

-For maximum performance!

-No added sugar.

-No concentrates.

Bubbleshock! Contains Bane!

HIGH-PITCHED CHIMING

-ON TELEVISION:

-For maximum performance...

-How would you know if you were going mad?

-Ask your mother, she's the expert.

-I'll tell her you said that!

-ON TELEVISION:

-Contains Bane!

But...what if you see something that you know can't be happening,

only it is happening, only you know it can't be?

DOORBELL CHIMES

-Don't know. Go and ask them.

-That's our first visitors.

If it's Angelina Jolie, tell her I'm not interested.

Go on.

-You moved in yesterday, right?

-Yeah.

Saw ya. I'm Kelsey. Hiya.

-I'm Maria.

-You got broadband?

-Yeah.

-Brilliant.

You haven't got music channels?

What's the point, if you haven't got music channels?

-Dad says it costs.

-Well, nag him.

You'll be dead in school, if you haven't got music channels. D'you want some of this?

No, thanks, I don't like it.

-I love it. D'you want to come into town?

-I haven't got any money.

That's OK. We'll just get the Bubbleshock Bus. It's free, every half hour. Come on, get your stuff.

What, a free bus?

Yeah, it takes you to the Bubbleshock factory.

You go on a tour. Get free samples. Come on.

I wanna show you Darren at the bike shop. He's over buff.

Dad, I'm going out.

-You heading off without me?

-We're going into town.

-Without a proper goodbye?

Dad...!

-I'm so shamed for you.

-Who's your friend?

-This is Kelsey.

-Did they tell you? About the people that used to live here?

-No, what happened?

-Went mad. Ran away, screaming. My mum's friend, Kath Pontin, she lives down there.

She said the bloke kept going on at her about seeing aliens.

-From outer space.

-What sort of aliens?

Like it's real! Shut up! Come on, we're gonna miss it.

-Um... Hi! Er, we just moved in opposite, I'm Maria Jackson.

-Hello.

Hi! Hello there. Nice to meet you, I'm Alan. Alan Jackson.

Er...I hope you're not going to make too much noise.

-It's just, I work from home, and I don't like to be disturbed.

-OK.

-Nice to be made welcome.

-Sorry.

-Sarah Jane Smith.

-See you then!

-Yeah.

-Where are you going, exactly?

-Bubbleshock factory.

-Free bus.

Anyway, I'm sure we'll get on just fine. It's just me and Maria now.

Making a new start of it. Bit of a divorce and that.

Don't worry, it's all been sorted, there's no shouting.

So, what kind of work do you do?

Really?

Really? Well...

Must be fascinating. CAR ENGINE REVS

TYRES SCREECH

Nice to meet you too(!)

There you go, you've got my number. But don't give it to anyone in Year Eight.

That's the mad woman.

Always racing about.

She's a bit glamorous, though. What does she do?

Journalist or something?

My mum's friend Kath Pontin says she never has anyone round.

Never talks to anyone.

This guy, Sakhir, once saw her by the station

and she was talking to this big crystal thing and it moved.

What, like a monster or something?

Here it is!

THEY LAUGH

There you go. All aboard for Bubbleshock.

-I don't get how this Bubbleshock stuff's supposed to work.

-I don't care.

It just makes you feel all wide awake. And tastes fab.

-I think it's disgusting.

-You're one of the 2% then.

It doesn't work on 2% of people. That's a fact, that is.

Anyway, it's organic.

So that makes it all right then, just the magic word "organic"?

Well, it's natural. And that's good. So there.

There it is! Bubbleshock!

CHEERING

TANNOY: Welcome to Bubbleshock.

All visitors must report to Central Processing.

Access beyond the designated area is forbidden.

DIGITAL BEEPING

I knew it.

Right, welcome to the Bubbleshock Experience.

Please step through the archway, one by one.

Just a security scan. One at a time.

Thank you.

Security scan, in a pop factory?

People want to steal the recipe!

Come on, it doesn't hurt.

Today's first lot going through now.

Transmitting data to the Archetype.

In five, four, three, two,

one, and transmit.

Is it working?

Oh, yes.

He's almost fully mature.

I would even say...

..perfect.

Mother will be pleased.

PIPES GURGLE

INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENT OVER TANNOY

DIGITAL WHIRRING

ELECTRONIC UNLOCKING

Oops.

Mrs Wormwood? We have an intruder.

-Well, dispose of them.

-She says her name is Sarah Jane Smith.

Does she indeed?

Well, bring her to my office and make her welcome.

This should be fun.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls!

Welcome to Bubbleshock!

It's huge.

I've seen it loads of times.

Just a quick reminder, if you could turn off your mobile phones.

That means all of you.

We have extremely sensitive equipment here, and the signals can interfere with the machinery, so phones off.

What's a mobile phone gonna do?! Make the bubbles go flat?!

That's enough lip at the back, just do it. Thank you.

-That's a bit rude.

-I don't care.

He's a total muffin.

OK, everyone, this is the main production area!

And before we go any further, I'd like to offer you more free samples.

Help yourselves.

Bubbleshock, revitalises your taste buds and gives you energy morning, noon and night.

Only Bubbleshock contains Bane...

..Et...cetera. OK.

That's it, keep moving thank you.

Don't touch anything.

How many times? Oi.

-No Bubbleshock?

-No ta.

I'm one of the two percent with the wrong taste buds.

Don't worry. We're working on it.

Soon we'll have everyone drinking Bubbleshock.

-The whole world.

-I'd rather have a cup of tea.

Thank you.

That's very kind.

Think of yourself as our guest.

I wasn't breaking in, I was just trying to reach someone in charge.

I phoned about a hundred times, but no-one would talk to me.

Oh, I've seen the list.

Phone calls.

E-mails.

Miss Sarah Jane Smith certainly makes her presence felt.

-Do you mind if I take notes?

-Not at all.

And since you've been so bold,

-let's make this an official interview.

-And it's...

Mrs Wormwood?

-That's correct.

-As a matter of fact, that's in the Bible, Wormwood.

The Book Of Revelations.

At the end of the world, it describes a star, falling to Earth and poisoning the waters.

-A star called Wormwood.

-Fascinating.

Shall we move on to business?

I've got contacts in the City.

They said it was like this company dropped in from nowhere.

And normally, it takes years of tests to get approval from the EU to market a new foodstuff.

You got it in two weeks.

All we're doing is satisfying a need.

-Which is?

-The people are hungry, Miss Smith.

For new food, new drinks, new tastes.

All the western world does is eat.

All day, every day, eating, they gorge and feast and chew and bite,

everything sweet and hot and cold and sticky food and drink,

just food and drink, that's the human race.

They devour.

Who are we to deny them?

-So you invented Bane?

-The Bane isn't new, Miss Smith.

Oh, no, it's very, very old.

Come and see.

For all the hype,

Bane is completely natural. 100% organic.

Yes, but organic what?

Don't be silly. I can't give away our recipe.

I checked with some scientists I know.

Your social circle sounds fascinating.

They tried to analyse a bottle of Bubbleshock.

What's the point?

It's all chemicals and sweeteners and E-numbers.

The test of a drink is in the tasting.

Have you tried it?

Oh, no. Definitely not.

Oh, but you must.

-Lesley!

-Oh, no, really, thanks, I'm fine.

No, no, no, no.

But I insist!

A good journalist

should submit to the complete experience.

Drink Bubbleshock, Miss Smith.

Drink deep.

Bane has received ringing endorsements.

I know we don't advertise, but we'll make an exception for this!

Yep, you have got to try Bubbleshock, it's simply delicious!

-BOTH:

-Drink it!

-Mrs Wormwood, I'd rather die.

-Well...

We can't have that.

Can we?

The scientists say Bane behaves very oddly when they test it.

As if it's resisting the analysis.

And nothing could do that. At least...

-nothing on Earth.

-What exactly are you suggesting, Miss Smith?

That Bane originated in outer space?

Of course not.

That would be ridiculous.

Wouldn't it though?

So the pure spring water and fresh fruit juice ends up here, where Bane is added.

From here it's bottled, all quality controlled, packed up,

and ready to be distributed all over the British Isles.

Listen, we'll be done in 20 minutes,

I'll go and phone Suki, she can meet us in WH Smiths.

-You're not supposed to use your phone.

-What are you, a Girl Guide?

-They'll take it off you.

-He's not gonna see, is he? Two ticks.

Suki's dead rich!

Go ahead and print your story, by all means.

But consider your career. Are you really going to expose this

as some kind of alien plot?

You'll be considered insane.

I don't care what people think of me. Never have.

I just want to find the truth.

But at such a cost. I take it, Miss Smith, you're single?

-Yes, I am.

-No children?

-No.

Such a wasted life.

Miss Smith is leaving. Lesley will show you out.

Oh, and by the way,

what planet do you come from?

Nice try.

Lesley?

Kill her.

Blimey. They don't put this on the tour, do they?

Hiya, Suki?

LOUD BUZZING, SIRENS WAIL

-TANNOY:

-Emergency, emergency.

ROARING

SHE SCREAMS

I'm sorry, we seem to have some kind of emergency.

That's it, keep moving please, thank you.

Get them out! Get everyone out!

SNARLING

Kelsey...

Kelsey?

What is it? What's happening?

Mrs Wormwood, she escaped.

Sarah Jane Smith!

Kelsey...

Find that woman, and this time, kill her properly!

Kelsey!

SCREAMING

What have you done?!

-Get that thing away from me!

-She is not a thing! You are the thing!

She is my mother,

the mother of us all.

-Sir!

-Well, turn it off!

-Oi, that's my phone!

-SNARLING

There's nothing to be scared of, Mother.

Our precious Bane Mother.

Kelsey? You there?

Close off the exits.

Report, D block.

SIREN WAILS

Maintain positions! Section 17 reports...

Er...hello.

-Um...hello.

-Who are you?

-Who are you?

-I'm lost.

-I'm lost.

I'll turn off vat number four. I'll take care of it, don't worry.

Shroud yourself, Mother.

We will find the source and destroy it. Mrs Wormwood?

-We have the situation under control.

-Oh, I don't think so.

The Archetype has escaped. Find him!

And for the Bane Mother's sake, turn off these alarms!

Find the device! B squad! C squad! Maintain perimeter defences!

I'm not with them.

I can help you.

Got to find a place to hide.

Yes! Come on!

We'll be safe in here for a bit.

One place men never go. Sorry for dragging you into the ladies.

Why do men never go to the ladies?

-What are you doing here?

-I could ask you the same!

-Who's he?

-Have you searched?

-It must have left the compound.

Impossible! There are humans here. I can smell it.

And one very particular person. Still alive.

What have they done to you?

I knew I had to get away.

Yeah, well, that goes for all of us.

Did you search in there?

But it's for their females only.

We are males. Their culture says we must never go in.

Oh, you idiot!

-Where does that lead?

-Car park. Only a child could get through.

Or a narrow-hipped female.

Come on. This way.

-Quickly, seal the gates.

-Move, get in!

But my friend's in there! I only just met her, but I can't leave her.

-The bus has gone, maybe she was on the bus. Now get in.

-I can't!

ZAP!

-What's that thing?

-Sonic lipstick. Now get in!

-Search the perimeter!

-Move!

She's freed the Archetype!

She's taken the Archetype. Now we can have even more fun.

Oh, even more.

Now then. Let's find out what you know, little girl.

But who is he? What was he doing in that factory?

-What were they doing in there?

-Leave it. Go home.

I can handle things from now on.

But there's something going on! I saw you last night!

What did you say?

She said she saw you last night.

With that thing in your garden. That alien.

Now listen to me, Maria.

My life is dangerous. And rule one, I don't put anyone else in danger.

-Especially a kid.

-I'm not a kid!

Maria, go home, watch telly, you do whatever it is you do,

you just live your life as normal, you forget any of this happened.

Have you got that? You stay away from me. For your own sake!

Hey, I've worked out the oven. It was on a timer...

Maria?

And I want compensation for that phone.

That was brand new last week!

And FYI, he is a prize mentalist.

He's got this big puppet in his roof, and he thinks it's his mum.

Puppet?

She means Mother.

If that's your mum, you should go on Jeremy Kyle.

I can't understand a word she says.

She's all noise and ignorance,

whereas Miss Smith...

She seems familiar with the concept of alien life.

Far too familiar.

-Look, if we scan her, an average human. Except...

-What is it?

Residual artron energy.

And what's that?

Background radiation.

A result of travels through the space-time vortex.

A while ago, but it's still there.

A time-space traveller?

So it seems.

-We need to find her.

-She lives on Bannerman Road.

I beg your pardon?

Bannerman Road. And she's as loony as you lot.

We must retrieve the Archetype and kill this Smith woman.

I've been aching to kill one ever since we arrived.

This one has information. We can use her.

You can let me go, otherwise I'm phoning the police.

And ChildLine!

I'm going to turn off my image translator.

Try not to scream.

I never scream.

SLOSHING AND BUBBLING

Someone said there's a miserable girl who needs a cup of tea.

But I couldn't find one, so you'll have to do instead.

-Thanks.

-What is it, then?

It's all right. I know.

New house, new school next week. Everything must seem so weird.

You're telling me.

But if there's anything wrong,

you can tell me. You know that, don't you? You can tell me anything.

Oh! It felt so good to be myself.

These clumsy human oxen.

The girl's unconscious.

I'm surprised you didn't kill her.

These miniature versions have parents. Parents ask questions.

-But what did we learn?

-The thoughts of a child are chaos.

Late homework, is she fat, will she ever be kissed?

And she worships something called...

the Holy Oak.

No. Hollyoaks. But her parents fight.

She wishes she were younger, and older.

This world scares her. So very much.

-And Sarah Jane Smith?

-Oh, she knows her.

Bannerman Road.

Number 13. And yes! She lives alone.

No support, no defences.

-Then I can attack!

-Oh, yes.

Have some fun.

And I filleted the memories.

This one will remember nothing.

Oh.

Right. Hiya!

So shamed!

-I'm asleep in your office.

-Oh, we've looked after you.

And don't worry, Davey can take you home.

Off you go, Davey. Bannerman Road.

Enjoy.

But you must have a name.

If I'm Sarah Jane, then you're...?

All I know is I had to run.

But you can talk. Someone must have taught you that.

-Who was it?

-Everyone.

What does that mean, everyone?

I am everyone. And then I had to run.

-The girl came, Maria, and then you.

-Well, think back.

-Before you ran, what can you remember?

-I was born running.

But you must have a home.

-Is this your home?

-Yes, it is.

Can I live here?

No, no, I don't think so. Sorry.

-Help yourself.

-Is this food?

Food and drink.

-Which is which?

-Sarah Jane?

-Who's that?

-Hmm? No-one.

-There was a voice.

-No, there wasn't.

-Sarah Jane?

-Not now!

-I thought you lived alone.

-I do.

You're not to go upstairs, have you got that?

It's private. You don't ever go upstairs unless I say so.

-You don't trust me?

-I don't even know you.

Hold on. Now, don't be afraid...

WATCH WHIRRS AND BLEEPS

Not alien. A normal, healthy lad.

Human, ageing rate normal, but...

This says you were born 360 years ago!

No...

You were born 360 minutes ago.

Is that good or bad?

Bannerman Road.

-Off you go.

-Well, I don't have to be home till six.

We could go for a burger.

Get out. And don't forget...

Drink Bubbleshock.

Here comes trouble...

-Kelsey!

-Thanks for abandoning me! Some friend you are!

-I'm making a snack. Beans on toast?

-Too many carbohydrates.

-Right, you can starve.

-Where were you?

The alarms went off, and I was looking for you.

He's all right, your dad. He's a bit fit.

Oh, shut up! But where'd you get to, Kelsey? Tell me.

The factory. What happened?

-You can read?

-I can now.

-You just learnt?

-It's easy! Letters and words.

If you don't mind, could you just lift up your top?

Just so I can see your stomach.

You've got no belly button.

Is that good or bad?

I don't know, but everyone who's born has got a belly button.

Why not me?

Sorry, but I don't think you were born.

I think you were grown.

I was mortified to wake up in her office.

Then they drove me home.

-Who drove you home?

-The muffin.

What, the man from the tour? He's here?

-Yeah, what about it?

-Dad, I'm going out!

-Eh? What?

SNARLING

Sarah Jane! Open up! It's me, it's Maria!

You are completely shaming me!

I told you, leave me alone!

But it's the man from the factory.

He's on the street. He's here!

Inside! Get in!

What is it? What is that thing? What is it?

Hello Maria, hello screaming girl.

There's a great big alien out there!

-Get upstairs!

-But we're not allowed.

-I'm allowing you! Now go!

-What is that thing?

-Just shut up and move!

CREATURE ROARS

KELSEY SCREAMS

Run! All of you! Just run! Fast as you can!

He's coming up the stairs!

We're gonna die!

What is that thing?!

-Wait here.

-What's up there?

No, you can't go up. I'll be ten seconds, just ten seconds.

You will die, Miss Smith. You and the squealing pigs.

This is not happening.

This is so not happening!

That contradicts the facts.

First the children. And then you, old woman.

Hey! Less of the old!

It's the muffin!

That is a muffin?

Pity.

-That was the last one.

-DOOR SLAMS

-What's going on?

-Maria, don't get involved.

I think it's a little bit too late for that.

Thanks. You saved our lives.

I suppose I did.

Oh, my flipping heck!

No, don't go up there!

Who said you could come up here? Don't touch anything!

These things...are they alien?

Some of them.

-Where did you get them?

-I suppose you've seen too much now.

It's not as if anyone's going to believe you.

Aliens are falling to Earth all the time.

It's not just those stories you hear on the news. All sorts of creatures.

Some have got lost, like the one you saw me sending home last night.

Some of them crash. And some want to invade.

You still believe me?

-Yes.

-Really? How come?

Cos you're bonkers, but I don't think you're a liar.

Oh, well, that's nice to know. No, except about the bonkers bit.

-This place is beautiful.

-Thank you.

-Not so bad yourself, fella.

-What does that mean?

-Oh, he's mine.

-Is that good or bad?

-That's bad, that's very bad.

It's just you, though?

On your own?

The government knows all about aliens.

And there are secret organisations,

dedicated to finding them, but they tend to go in all guns blazing.

-I think there's a better way of doing it.

-But how d'you get started?

I met this man. A very special man.

Called the Doctor.

-And years ago, we travelled together.

-In space?

Space and time.

And then it came to an end,

and suddenly I was back to a normal life.

Electric bills,

-burst pipes, bus tickets and rain.

-She is completely loop-the-loop.

There, d'you see?

Who can I talk to about it?

For years, I tried to forget.

And then I met him again, the Doctor.

We'd both changed, but it's funny, because we were still both the same.

And I learnt that I could carry on,

here on Earth, doing what we always did.

That's when I started this.

I began my life again.

And the Bubbleshock factory?

It's run by aliens?

Oh, everybody's an alien. You, me, the Pope, James Blunt.

Actually, I can believe that one.

But Kelsey, you saw it! That great big alien!

I saw a muffin in a suit! That's all. Like in the films?

-It's pretend!

-SHRILL BEEPING

-What's that?

-He's circled back again!

-Another invasion,

obviously. Little green men!

There was a scientific project in Switzerland.

They created a black hole.

If it gets free, the Earth would be swallowed up.

So K9's sealing it off.

-Greetings, Mistress.

-K9?

-He's my friend.

-K9 as in canine? That is so lame!

He's been in there for a year and a half, plugging the distortion,

and every so often he passes my way.

Your best friend is a metal dog with its bum stuck in a black hole?

I know.

How are you, K9? How do you feel?

Misunderstanding of the functional nature of this unit, Mistress.

I do not feel.

However, all circuits are functioning at full capacity.

-Can you ever come out, K9?

-Oh, K9, this is Maria.

Greetings, young mistress. I cannot emerge until this breach is sealed.

-How long will that take?

-I cannot estimate the duration of this task.

-What does he eat, nuts and bolts?

-The small female is hostile.

Don't listen to her.

Regret I must transfer my coordinates, Mistress.

Bye-bye, K9.

Good dog.

Affection noted, Mistress.

-How long's he gone for?

-I don't know. But I miss him.

-KELSEY GIGGLES

-And don't you laugh, Kelsey Hooper.

He was my dog, my daft little metal dog.

And now...

I'm on my own.

You know the penalty.

Forgive me.

But she had weapons. Terrible weapons.

A hunter that loses his prey is unfit to serve the Bane Mother.

I'll go back. I'll kill her!

I can manage that on my own.

Mother eats the children that fail her. You will become food!

What's this then?

It's some sort of communicator. It was a gift,

from the person you saw last night.

She said if I ever needed help, I could use it to call her.

-Then let's call her!

-She meant help with poetry.

She was a Star Poet from Arcateen 5.

That's not much use. Unless you want to rhyme "trouble"

with "double".

Let me see...

Careful.

He knows nothing about the world.

Everything's new to him. I think he's some sort of experiment.

-Like those aliens created him.

-He's their child.

But he's still human.

If you don't mind?

I don't like people going through my things.

That device on your wrist.

-It detects alien life?

-That's right.

Then what is it detecting now?

How d'you mean? He's right!

There might be another one of those things!

-No, wait a minute...

-WATCH BLEEPS

-What?

-Kelsey!

-You're an alien!

-Oh, you wish.

-No, it's not her, it's...

-Oi! That's mine!

It's the drink. It's that ingredient, Bane.

-Yeah, well, it's organic.

-More than that. It's alive.

Species identified: Bane.

It's not just an ingredient, it's an alien! This is the secretion of...

Oh, I need glasses. A Bane Mother.

There's a piece of living Bane inside every bottle of Bubbleshock.

-That stuff is alien?!

-Thought you didn't believe in aliens.

Shut up! I've got things from space living in my stomach!

-What ya gonna do?

-It's not my fault!

You've got all this stuff, all these gadgets and you sit here,

talking, yapping on all day about planets

and monsters, what good is that? Why don't you do something?

All right, Kelsey.

Just you watch.

-Mr Smith?

-Yes, Sarah Jane?

-I need you!

Mr Smith's a computer.

-An alien computer.

-Mr Smith.

I want a direct visual link to Mrs Wormwood at the Bane Factory.

-Can you get coordinates?

-Accessing.

What, you can just phone her up?

-Mr Smith can hack into anything.

-But why d'you want to talk to them?!

Because I want to be fair.

Coordinates 013457689014 658757562987 032105-5.

-That's like their phone number.

-Visual link connecting.

Mrs Wormwood?

-Oh, very clever.

-Thanks for the assassination attempts.

My pleasure. The next one will involve harpoons.

I know who you are and what you are.

Bane. Now leave this planet!

-Are you declaring war?

-Mrs Wormwood.

The universe is huge. And Earth is so small.

You don't need to do this.

I'm asking you, as one species to another, just leave this world.

Leave us in peace. Please.

-And if I don't?

-Then...

I'll have to do something.

Very well.

In the language of your young ones...

bring it on.

Wow...that didn't go well.

-How're you gonna stop them?

-You tell me.

What? D'you mean you haven't got a plan?

-Nothing?!

-Nope.

The people I fight have plans and weapons, but I don't.

It's what makes me different.

Mother, events have escalated.

We must declare war on mankind.

Open your mind, Mother.

You must convert the humans containing Bane.

They will convert the rest!

Let this become...

Bane World!

Kelsey Hooper! Look!

-Help me!

-Oh, my God. It's beginning.

Kelsey, fight it!

-Drink...it.

-It's the Bane. They're taking people over!

Out! Quickly! Out!

Drink...it...drink...it...

-Keys!

-Drink...it...drink...it.

Got to get to the factory.

-I'm coming with you.

-You are staying here!

Dad!

Stay indoors, there's this stuff happening!

-Drink it.

-Dad! No, Dad...

Mother stirs!

Those who have not taken Bane must be converted!

MOTHER ROARS

Dad, listen to me. It's not you, it's that thing,

-it's the drink, it's the Bane!

-Drink it...drink it...

I'm sorry, we can't help them, we must get to the factory.

-Now get in the car!

-Drink it...

This is bad, yes? I recognise bad.

-What are we gonna do?

-Maria, two types of people in the world.

-People who panic. Then there's us. Got that?

-Got it.

PEOPLE CHANT: Drink it...drink it...

Drink it...drink it!

Mother welcomes her new children.

Come to us, newborn Bane. Come to us!

-I'm going inside. You stay here.

-No way!

-They've got a deadlock seal!

-What does that mean?

-We can't get in!

-Sarah Jane!

-Drink it! Drink it!

We can't go back and we can't get in. What do we do?

No, there's got to be a way of getting in, there's got to be.

There must be something. What do I do?

Oh, come on, Doctor, help me.

Come on, think!

Yes!

All the humans who don't submit

will be reduced to liquid.

Then Bane will drink them, and...

What's that noise? CHEERY MUSIC PLAYS

-Not too late for the party?

-Miss Smith...

I warned you. Leave this planet!

Have you met my mother?

-Leave her alone!

-I told you to stay on board.

-Too late for that!

-Oh, you've brought us the Archetype.

He is a living, thinking human being.

And you created him. What for?

He's an assembly of thousands of different humans.

A montage, you might say. A collage.

On every tour of the factory, we'd scan the guests, all 10,000 of them.

And then we fed every strength and every weakness into him.

-The Archetype.

-I am everyone.

-But why?

-The 2% who wouldn't touch Bane.

The Archetype could tell us how to modify our product.

But since we've advanced our plans,

he is no longer needed. HIGH-PITCHED SQUEALING

No! No!

-He's only a boy. I'm begging you, let him go.

-Oh, that's so sweet!

But he's dying, and soon you will join him.

Like all our enemies.

Our slave control is activated around the world.

The time of man is over.

SNARLING The time of Bane is come!

ALL CHANT: Drink it! Drink it!

You've failed, Miss Smith.

-This is where your lonely life has led you.

-She's not on her own.

She's got me.

(And I've got this.)

SHRILL BUZZING

MOTHER SCREECHES

The device is tiny. And now you've angered the Bane Mother.

Do you really think that's wise?

ROARING

I told you to stay away.

Know what? I'm still glad I didn't.

Mother, descend and consume them!

-You forgot this...

-What is that?

-A signal device from another world.

-And what of it?

-Like a mobile phone.

Only to call across the stars,

it must be a million times more powerful.

-Good thing you don't know our frequency.

-Mr Smith said it.

But that was dozens of numbers.

And I remember them.

-You gave me the memory of 10,000 humans.

-Stop him!

013456689014 68757562987 032105-5...

-Calling the Bane!

-MOTHER SHRIEKS

HIGH-PITCHED FEEDBACK Noooooo!

The Bane Mother! You're killing her!

Archetype!

-I order you to stop!

-But you made him human, he's ours!

Maria! Give me a hand.

Come on!

Until the next time.

Miss Smith!

We stopped them!

Are you all right?

Their control has gone and I'm free. And that's good.

Oh, yes, that's good!

I would be dead without you.

We all would! You're amazing!

The pair of you! Amazing!

This is happiness, yes?

Oh, yes!

-We did it!

-We did it!

-We did it!

The government has refused to comment,

but stocks of Bubbleshock have been withdrawn from our shelves,

and the mass hysteria of this afternoon

-is being put down to a chemical imbalance of the brain.

-Dad!

-Oh! Hey, what's brought this on?

-I thought I'd lost you.

Oh, I had a bit of a turn, that's all.

It's on the news. Some chemicals escaped from that factory

and gave everyone hallucinations.

Oh, hello...

-Just checking everything's all right.

-That's very neighbourly.

Yeah, well, sorry about before.

Welcome to the neighbourhood.

It's certainly been eventful. Is it always like this?

No, this is a quiet day.

-And who's this?

-This...

is...

I suppose... This is my son.

My adopted son.

-Hello.

-And what's your name?

-I don't have one.

-Sorry, no, it's an old family joke.

-He's called, um...

-Look at you, front door open,

after everything! Did you hear about the chemicals? It was a nightmare!

I had Ivan chasing me round the bedroom saying "Drink it"!

I told him to get off, but...

Oh, haven't you unpacked yet?

Alan, I did say the longer things stay in boxes,

the less it feels like a home.

-And you are?

-Sarah Jane Smith. I'm from over the road.

This is my mother.

-What's he wearing?

-These are the clothes I was born in.

-Right.

Well, thank you very much, but if you don't mind,

I've had a bit of a trauma. Family time.

-Thanks for calling in.

-OK.

-We'll be off.

-This woman is rude.

-Yes, definitely going, come on. We'll go home.

-You don't have to.

Invite the neighbours, you never get rid of them.

Next thing you know it's holidays together.

That is a recipe for disaster.

No offence. Nice to meet you, Sarah...Lou.

So there he was, chasing me round the bedroom with a bottle of pop.

I said, "That's novel," but next thing, her next door's

doing the same thing! Oh, while I'm here, I'll have that cheque, thanks.

But I've had to pay the removal men.

Well, you should've planned! That's Alan, no plans.

But Ivan's booked this villa, and it's gorgeous,

but we've got to pay the rest of the deposit, so...

-Cheers!

-And it's normal pop!

Hooray for normal pop.

How's your friend Kelsey?

She's backtracking like mad, saying it was all hallucinations.

-No such thing as aliens.

-But we know better.

Oh, that's more like it!

This is good?

Yep!

How are you gonna adopt him then? I mean, you need forms and things.

Who are you gonna say his real mum is, the Bane Mother?

Mr Smith's sorted that.

Officially done and dusted.

All he needs now is a name.

-You can choose your own.

-I like yours. Maria.

-Maybe not!

How about Jack?

-Josh? Nathan?

-Harry?

Alistair? Luke?

-I like Luke.

-I like Luke.

If you like Luke, I like Luke.

That's the name I was always going to choose, if I had kids.

-Except it never happened.

-But now it has.

Luke Smith.

-You're a mum!

-I am.

I never asked.

Have you got a boyfriend, or...?

Oh, there was only ever one man for me. And after him,

nothing compared.

When I was your age, I used to think, "Oh, when I'm grown up,

"I'll know what I want, I'll be sorted."

But you never really know what you want.

You never feel grown up, not really, you never sort it all out.

So, I thought, I can handle life on my own.

But after today, I don't want to.

-What's that?

-It's just a plane.

That's a flying machine, right?

Perhaps it's a spaceship.

I saw amazing things out there in space.

But there's strangeness wherever you turn.

Life on Earth can be an adventure too.

You just need to know where to look.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd 2007

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