Part 1 The Sarah Jane Adventures

Afternoon, boys and girls Welcome to...

..detention.

Now, I want to be here about as much as you do,

so the sooner you get your homework done, the sooner we can all go home.

All right, Jacob? You OK?

Yeah.

Mrs Pitman tells me you got into a fight.

Now, that doesn't sound like you.

What am I like then, Mr Cunningham?

No, you're a good kid.

You're smart, funny. Is there anything wrong at home?

-No, everything's fine.

-OK.

You know you can always talk to me if you've got a problem.

Just told you. I'm all right.

-Freak!

-What was that?

All right, Steve, that's enough.

Jacob, turn round.

-What did you call me?

-Me? Nothing. I...

Hey, I've asked you once.

Now, both of you, be quiet and get on with your work.

-Jacob's a freak!

-Just stop it!

I've warned you, Steve. > I've had enough. Don't push me.

Freak! >

-Right, that's it!

-Shurrup! Shut up!

MOUTHS

Hey, what's going on? Right, Steve, stop it!

Stop messing about!

Will the two of you just be quiet?

MOUTHS

Everyone, stay where you are. Don't move.

Just...

Just..be quiet.

MOUTHS

He-he-he!

STATIC CRACKLES

Jacob! Jacob!

THEY MOUTH

STATIC CRACKLES

No!

MOUTHS

Jacob! Jacob?

No! Make it stop!

-Jacob?

-Please!

All of it, just stop!

Oh!

Is everyone OK?

I'm coming in, you'd better be decent.

-Jacob?

-Sorry.

SINISTER VOICE WHISPERS

What was that?

Hello.

Who are you then?

MOBILE RINGS

Oh, hi, Dad.

Are you at the car park?

-If it's not a sleep-over, I don't understand.

-We're not girls.

It's not a sleep-over. You're just staying.

And I'll be sleeping over at yours?

-So, it's a sleep-over.

-I never know if you're being serious.

I know!

-Sarah Jane!

-Carla! How are you?

I'd tell you over a cuppa, if you had time.

-Oh, sorry, I can't. Not today.

-I know, I know. Same old story.

See, Clyde? Proper job keeps her busy. Has he told you?

-He wants to be the new Banksy. Graffiti art, he calls it.

-Yes, Mum.

-Come on, Luke.

-Oi!

Thanks again for taking him.

Oh, he's not a problem. He's a sweet boy.

So... Tarminster?

I'm sorry?

-Clyde says you're going to Tarminster.

-Oh, that's right.

Nothing exciting. Er, an article on hospital hygiene standards.

Oh, don't you get me started on that MRSA.

Beryl next door - face like a pineapple.

I'll tell you all about it, when you get back.

Right, yes, well, I'd best be off, then.

-I'll pick him up, Sunday night.

-Bye, darling!

What do you wanna do? Football? Play on the computer?

Oh, I don't think so. Friday night? Spag-a-bol-a-night?

Get yourselves in that kitchen.

-You cook?

-Yeah. It's Mum's new thing.

You? Cook?

-Oh, my baby boy's a demon in the kitchen.

-Mum...

Oh, Clydie's all embarrassed.

Mum! Mum! Mum! Stop it.

Right, boys. Food!

-Chinese or pizza?

-What's wrong with my cooking, exactly?

Nothing, I just fancied a takeaway.

Just don't tell your mum.

She goes away for the week and then suddenly you're in charge.

-Chinese?

-You know I don't like it.

-Oh, please, let's have Chinese.

-We'll have Chinese.

-What?!

-You said we should have Chinese.

-Yeah, but you don't like it.

You said we should have Chinese.

You're doing what I say?

-What's that?

-It's a..hamster.

-Why do you have a hamster in your pocket?

-Wow, this is brilliant!

What's brilliant?

I'm telling you, this is brilliant.

It's brilliant!

Dad, erm, start hopping.

He-he! Now the other foot.

Ha-ha! OK, stop it. Stop hopping.

Erm, do, I know... Do Bianca, from EastEnders.

Rick-ey-ah!!

Whitney!

-Pat!

-Ha-ha-ha!

OK, now, erm, be a lion.

-Rrraaarrr!!

-He-he-he!

Rrraaarrr!! Rrraararr!! Rrraaarrr!!

Rrraaarrr!! Rrraaarrr!!

-Stop! You'd die if you could see yourself!

-You want me to die?

No... No.

Please, Dad, I think you should forget everything that just happened.

-Why am I down here?

-I think you dropped some change.

You, erm, going to order that pizza, then?

Pass me a menu.

DOORBELL RINGS

I'll get it.

Jacob! What are you doing here?

Show me your hand.

It's happening, isn't it?

STATIC CRACKLES

Right, you. Tell me what's going on.

You picked it up at school. I saw you.

And you've used it.

-It's fading.

-Yeah.

Does that when you stop using it.

I'm talking about this like it's normal.

At first, I was just having fun.

You know, I just wanted people to like me.

-That's not bad, is it?

-Jacob, I need to know where you found it.

Back of the school yard. Where they're putting the pipes in.

It was lying there in the mud.

And it looked really, really nice, so I picked it up.

And then used it on people?

It was an accident. At first.

The more you use it, it's like it talks to you.

It's like, glowing on the pendant, then in your hand and then...

I think it's evil.

I know someone who can get rid of it.

-What are you gonna do?

-It's gonna be OK.

Yeah, right(!)

Mr Smith, I need you.

Ahem... Hello? Mr Smith, I need you.

BLEEPING

'Sorry, I'm not available.

'Sarah Jane has shut me down whilst she's away.

'If you'd leave a message, we'll get back to you.'

Whatever. Just, erm...

..look after this.

Guess it'll be a quiet weekend then.

STATIC CRACKLES

SINISTER VOICE WHISPERS

LAUGHTER

Are you two still awake? Don't make me come in there.

Mum, can you keep the noise down? We're trying to get to sleep here.

Oi, cheeky! See you in the morning.

'Night, Mrs Langer!

It's Carla, Luke.

'Night, Carla!

Night, Carla!

Watch it!

-Clyde?

-Yeah.

-Did you do those?

-What?

The pictures.

Me? No!

Well, yeah, all right, but don't tell anyone.

Why not?

Mrs Taylor said I had a "natural talent", or something.

So, she's got me doing extra work. Yeah, it's pretty cool, I guess.

-Wish I could draw.

-Yeah?

Well, maybe I'll teach you, my son.

-Thanks, Dad! Oh, sorry.

-What?

I was trying be funny.

Your dad... That's not funny.

Oh no, it's old news.

It's cool, I've got me old mum, anyway. I'm sorted.

'Night, then!

'Night, Clyde!

'Night, Luke!

-'Night, Clyde!!

-'Night, Luke!!

One more word and I swear I'm coming in there!

-BOTH:

-'Night, Carla!!!

RADIO MUSIC PLAYS

DOORBELL RINGS

Get that, will you, Clyde?!

Yeah!

Hello, son.

Dad?

RADIO MUSIC BLARES

Do we have to have music? It's too early.

RADIO OFF

-Do you want some breakfast?

-Go on, then!

So, erm, what are you up to today? Seeing Luke?

-And Clyde, yeah.

-Oh, right.

-Don't start.

-I never said anything.

It's up to you who you're friends with.

Just be careful with him.

Some people are trouble. Oof!

Nice place. You've come up in the world, Carla.

-What do you want, Dad?

-I had some business over here.

Thought I'd visit. That's all right, isn't it?

It's been five years.

I live in Germany. I can't just pop round for tea.

Actually, I could kill for a decent cuppa.

-You all right, mate? I'm Paul.

-I'm Luke, Clyde's friend.

What the hell are you doing here? Don't you care about Clyde at all?

Yeah. That's why I'm back.

Because you care about me?

You know, when you left, at first I pretended it hadn't happened.

That you'd just gone on holiday.

And then I realised, no, you'd gone.

Do you know what I did?

I blamed Mum.

I figured she must have done something bad to drive you away.

I messed about at school. Got into trouble. I got expelled.

-Yeah, all right, I'm sorry, mate.

-You're "sorry"?

Dad, one minute you were there and the next, I had no dad.

Look, I'm putting me hands up.

I've not been the best father in the world.

But that's why I'm here.

-What do you want?

-To spend some time with ya.

I just want us to get to know each other. You're still my son.

-No.

-What?

-You can't.

He's my kid and I won't have you messing him up.

He's 16, Carla. He's not a kid.

Dad's right. I'm not a kid.

I didn't mean it like that, but...

Clyde, if you wanna see him, then I won't stop you.

-It's your choice.

-I do.

-I wanna talk to him.

-Are you sure?

Yeah.

Cool! How do you fancy a day out then?

-Will you be OK here? I don't think I'll be long.

-Yeah.

I'll get dressed.

Can you, eh, wait outside, please? I don't want you upsetting Mum.

I'll be here for you.

Afterwards.

Oh, and, by the way, Dad...

I'm not 16.

I'm 15.

SINISTER WHISPERING

STATIC CRACKLES

-Dad?

-Yes, love?

Have you ever had something, I dunno, bother you?

You could be more specific.

There's this report I'm doing for the school newspaper.

-And I wanted Sarah Jane's help, but she's away.

-Hmm.

So I was wondering - do I wait for her or try and work it out myself?

It's you we're talking about.

Of course you'll try and work it out.

-Yeah, you're right. See you later!

-Where are you going?

Oh, I said I'd water Sarah Jane's plants. See ya!

MOBILE RINGS

-Hi, Rani!

-You and Clyde meet me at the school now.

-Clyde's gone.

-Gone?

-He's gone out with his dad.

His dad? OK, we haven't got time for this now.

-I want you in the school field in ten minutes, right?

-All right.

Remember that park I used to take you to, back in Hounslow.

You used to go on the swings.

Begging for me to push you higher and higher. Remember?

No.

So, do you fancy an ice-cream, or something?

What am I saying? You're too old for that.

Oh, I dunno. What DO you like?

Why did you leave us?

Sometimes, a bloke and his missus stop getting on.

Me and your mum...

Well, that's what happened.

I mean, it wasn't your fault.

I never thought it was and don't try that. You ran off with Auntie Mel.

Yeah. Yeah, I know.

I didn't do it right. I messed up.

"Messed up"(!)

You ran off to Germany - with Mum's sister.

You left us. You left me, Dad.

I never forgot you, though.

-You going out?

-Yeah, I'm going to meet Rani.

Ah, she's a lovely girl.

Wanna take sandwiches? I've got ham in the fridge.

No, I'm OK, thanks.

-I'm sure Clyde's going to be fine.

-You think?

-Your dad's not around either, is he?

-No, it's complicated.

It usually is.

Just promise me something.

If he ever turns up, you know, out of the blue, whatever,

just don't... Don't forget your mum.

I won't.

Oh, anyway, you, go! Go on!

Cos you never a keep a girl waiting.

-So, can you speak German?

-Ja.

Teach me something.

Ich heisse Paul Langer.

So, ich heisse Clyde Langer.

I am Clyde Langer?

Good to meet you, Clyde Langer.

So, eh, what about you?

What do you do?

Dunno, just hang out with my mates.

Oh, what, like, er, thingy? Luke?

Yeah.

He seems quiet. Bit of a geek, yeah?

Yeah, but he's cool.

Nah, I got a mate in Germany just like him.

Makes me look good. Ha-ha-ha!

That's not why I hang out with him.

-He's my mate, for real.

-Oh, yeah, yeah.

Sorry.

So, what else do you do?

Well, there is something.

There's this thing I do that I haven't really told anyone about.

But, yeah, I can't really say what it is.

You a rebel, like your old man?

What is it?

You drop litter on the streets?

Come on!

We shouldn't have secrets.

MOBILE RINGS

Dad?

Dad?

I save the world.

I bet Sarah Jane never does anything like this.

What are you looking for?

Jacob West found something here. Something alien.

I wonder how Clyde's doing?

He'll be fine, Luke.

-He can look after himself, you know. It's Clyde.

-Yeah, I guess.

Hope there's nothing else down here.

It would be OK if Mr Smith was working.

Maybe he'll work for me. Let's go.

If it wasn't for me, all these people, they wouldn't be here.

I've saved them and they don't know.

OK. Is this some kind of trading card thing?

Don't you believe me?

No, no, I'm not saying that.

It's just...

..you and this Luke, the two of ya, saving the world?

You don't know what we've seen. Slitheens, Sontarans...

-We've stopped them - all of them.

-You and Luke?

You don't believe me.

Fine! I'll prove it you.

What?

-Come on, I'll show you.

-Where are we going?

Bannerman Road. It's where it all happens.

And then up here...is the attic.

Whoa! Look at all this stuff.

You could make a fortune on eBay.

What is all this?

-Dad, it's not about money.

-No, no. Course not.

It isn't! Some of this stuff..it's alien.

Do you get what that means?

Alien? Yeah, right, you mean like those Dalek things?

Yeah, but there's loads more. Some of them are pretty cool.

Fine. Well, come on then. Show me something alien. Hmm?

Come on. Sell it to me.

Well, we have this mate who lives in America,

but Sarah Jane has this.

Hey, hey, Maria! This friend of Sarah Jane's

given her this holographic postcard, whatsit thing, so...

Hi, Maria! We miss you!

(Soft boy!) We don't miss you. We've moved on, you're gone and forgotten!

Maria Who? I say.

See? Alien tech!

It's true. I thought it was just the government and the army.

They dealt with all that, but..you?

My lad..meets aliens.

All in a day's work.

I'm dead proud of you, Clyde. You've done so much.

Well, I'm just lucky, I guess.

I've got good mates...Mum.

These aliens... Do they bring stuff like this?

Yeah, sometimes.

-If we could just mass produce this...

-Is that all you think about?

Don't you get it? There's millions of worlds out there.

It's magic.

OK, OK.

-So, it's you, Luke and this, er, Sarah Jane.

-Yeah.

Oh, but behind that wall there, that's Mr Smith.

He's basically this big, alien computer...

SINISTER WHISPERING >

< CLYDE CONTINUES TALKING

STATIC CRACKLES

..and out he comes! Pretty cool!

Dad, what are you doing?

Just looking.

So, yeah, aliens, heh-heh! Aliens come to Ealing and reach you.

-Yep! Who's the daddy, now?!

-Heh-heh!

Clyde Langer! What are you doing here?

Sarah Jane's away for the weekend.

-And who are you?

-Paul Langer, Clyde's dad.

Oh, I, er, well, it's nice to meet you.

This is Mr Chandra. He's my head teacher.

Oh! All right, mate?

Clyde hasn't stopped raving about you and your school. He loves it!

-Does he?

-Ha-ha! I'm joking.

-BOTH: Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

-Can I ask what you're both doing here?

-Erm, watering the plants.

Yeah, Sarah Jane asked me to, when she was away.

That's interesting. Apparently, she asked Rani to do that, as well.

Erm, there's lots of plants.

I'm sure you think you're funny, but this is serious.

It's not serious. Just drop it, eh?

-You OK?

-I'm OK.

-OK.

You want to watch it with pizza. Cholesterol City!

I beg your pardon?

I'm just saying, you're not exactly setting a good example for the kids.

Thank you, I do plenty of exercise, actually.

With all that pizza, you should, mate!

I should exercise.

Ha! Mr Chandra!

-Is he?

-He is.

He's doing what I tell him.

Oi, mate! Jogging's for wimps.

Get doing some push-ups, yeah?

BOTH: He-he-he!

-Dad?

-Ha-ha-ha!

What are you doing?

-Jogging's for wimps. I'm doing press-ups.

-Ha-ha-ha-ha!

-What's happened?

-Ho-ho-ho!

-Who are you?

-Oh, Rani, this is my dad.

-Have you been up to the attic?

-Yeah! So?

-Mum doesn't like anyone going in there.

-You always do as you're told?

Clyde reckons you lot saved the world.

-Have you told him what we do?

-Mr Langer?

-Have you taken something?

-Hey, that's my dad you're talking to.

He's nicked something alien. There was this pendant.

-Jacob West was using it.

-Don't you go accusing my dad of nicking stuff.

Who do you think you are?

You take your dad and suddenly my dad's doing what your dad tells him.

Come on, mate. I really can't be bothered with all this.

Rani, perhaps we should speak to Mr Smith.

Calling my dad a thief? What is your problem?

He's stolen it. It's dangerous.

What do you mean? What are you talking about?

-Clyde!

-Yeah, I'm coming, Dad.

Good! Oh, and Clyde, forget about those two.

You see. He's got it.

I want you to forget about them...completely.

Clyde?

I'm... I'm fine.

Clyde! Clyde, wait!

-Sorry, do I know you?

-What?

-Clyde!

-How do you know my name?

It's me. Luke.

Nah, sorry, mate. Never seen you before in my life.

Come on, Dad.

-Clyde!

-Forget it. Clyde's gone.

I'm your best friend.

You're a freak.

TYRES SCREECH

He wants to take him away. He wants to take my baby.

Uuurrgghh!

She'll see the pendant - and everything.

What are you doing? Get off me. Who are you?

This whole world will do as I say!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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