Part 1 The Sarah Jane Adventures

This is where Sarah Jane Smith lives.

And it's home to things way beyond your imagination.

There's an extraterrestrial supercomputer in the wall,

her son, a genetically engineered boy genius,

a schoolgirl investigator across the road,

and a whole universe of adventure, right here on the doorstep.

-Ready?

-Always.

No, cos I had to do this essay. 2,000 words on pendulum physics.

It was fascinating, but then everyone wanted to go out for a burger,

and I thought, "Why not?"

-So we all went into town, and...

-Well, I hope you finished your work.

Sanjay owes me five quid, I bet him you'd say that!

-Right, and who's Sanjay?

-Oh, he's just down the hall. He's brilliant.

We just clicked straight away. He's smart,

he's cool, he keeps making me laugh.

I think he's the best mate I've ever had all my life.

-Oh, your face! That is brilliant!

-What?! I...

Oh, that is such a classic!

Forget next week, swot boy, you're on your own.

ALARM BLARES

Emergency broadcast!

UNIT armed forces are converging on this house, Sarah Jane. Right now!

Stop right there!

-I'm not having soldiers on my property.

-Everything OK?

Yes, fine. They're just leaving.

Miss Smith, my name is Colonel Tia Karim,

representing the Unified Intelligence Task Force.

If I could have a word in private?

No, you're not getting any closer. Just tell me. What do you want?

I'm sorry, but it's my solemn duty to inform you that your friend,

the Doctor, is dead.

-Don't be stupid.

-He can't be.

Last Sunday, at 1700 hours,

the body of a Time Lord was returned to the earth.

UNIT scientists have checked the DNA results, and it's definitely him.

I'm sorry, Miss Smith, for your loss.

Sorry for the whole wide world, because he's gone.

The Doctor's gone.

He's dead.

The Doctor was found 10,000 light years away,

by a race called the Shansheeth.

They sent us this. It's called an epitaph stone.

It's a recording device, the equivalent to a death notice.

The Shansheeth are what you might call...intergalactic undertakers.

Oh, come on. This is ridiculous! There's no such thing!

Sarah Jane, I can confirm

the Shansheeth are known throughout the universe

as the carers of the dead.

It is said they trawl the battlefields of outer space,

looking for heroes to bring home.

Yeah? Well, that's quite enough from you, thanks!

Just shut up. Play this thing.

I bring condolences from the Claw Shansheeth of the 15th Funeral Fleet

-upon this terrible day.

-Well!

As if you'd trust that thing? Just look at him!

Hey, that's not fair.

Since when did we judge by appearances?

Since this lot started lying!

OK. But look. I hope this is all a big mistake, I really do.

For the Doctor's sake we've got to find the facts,

which means...we stop and we listen.

-Yeah.

-Thanks.

Mr Smith?

The Shansheeth did journey to the wastelands of the Crimson Heart,

whereupon we found the body of the last Time Lord.

Witnesses say that he perished saving the lives of 500 children

-from the Scarlet Monstrosity.

-Sounds like him.

The Doctor's home world is long since lost.

But legends talk of his love for the earth.

Therefore, the Shansheeth will return the Doctor to the human race.

Oh, weep for him, peoples of the earth.

Mourn his loss, for the universe feels darker tonight.

So what do you think?

UNIT will take charge of the funeral

in conjunction with the Shansheeth.

We'll be using UNIT Base 5, situated inside Mount Snowdon.

We can arrange transport and accommodation for all of you.

-Thank you.

-Then you'll come?

Oh, yes.

Nothing's going to make me miss this.

I'll be there.

So what was all that about, with the soldiers and stuff?

She's weird, Sarah Jane, there's always something happening over...

Hey, what's that for?!

Don't you ever go anywhere, OK?

-Not even to the shops?

-Nope.

Not anywhere. Promise?

I promise.

I always thought if ever the Doctor dies, I'll know.

Somehow I'll just feel it.

Wherever he is, if he's far away on some distant star

or lost in the depths of dark ages,

I'll know.

But I didn't. I didn't feel a thing.

I know, Mum, but it doesn't actually mean anything.

No, maybe it does, though. Cos I don't think he's dead.

He can't be!

Yeah, I'm going to go to that funeral, Luke,

but only to find out what's going on.

Because I think the Doctor's still alive.

Luke says Sarah Jane's gone mad.

Don't be so rude. He wouldn't say "mad" about his own mother.

No. He said, "Nutty, fruity, loop-the-loop, tonto barmy bonkers."

-Be fair, though, sir, he's worried.

-It's like your mum.

Remember when Grandad died?

She washed everything. Curtains. Furniture. Me.

She even washed the walls. Who washes walls?

It went on for days, and then she just started crying.

It takes time. Cos when someone dies it's so massive,

it's like you can't fit it all inside your head.

That's what Sarah Jane's doing. She's denying it.

So, what do we do?

Wait. That's all you can do.

Friends just wait.

Bang on time.

Don't worry, Haresh, I'll look after them.

Sorry to hear your bad news.

There's no need. I'm fine.

Bye.

Keep the school running without me, sir.

While I head off in my nice, big, posh motor.

Argh! Did you see that?!

Static electricity. If you paid more attention in class...

Come on, you, get in!

Now THAT is what I call a base!

TANNOY: 'Silo 15 now entering decontamination.

'Staff to holding position. Repeat. All staff to holding position.'

We've allocated bedrooms.

The funeral will take place at 0900 hours tomorrow,

so that gives you time to acclimatise.

The doors to the funeral wing will be sealed at 2100 hours.

This is still a working military base,

so you'll only have access to the specified areas.

That's nice(!) Bring us all this way to tell us we're not trusted.

-So who else is coming?

-Well, it's all been a bit of a rush.

The Brigadier's stranded in Peru,

and Miss Shaw can't make it back from Moonbase until Sunday.

You've got a moonbase?!

Oh, man, I am running out of reactions.

You've got Graske!

-What are you doing with Graske?

-I knew it.

-I said there was something going on.

-Sorry, what's the problem?

We've met Graske before, and believe me, they're trouble!

Oh, they're not Graske, they're Groske.

Groske very different!

Groske are blue! Hate Graske!

Graske make me stamp my feet!

The Groske were stranded on earth in 2006.

We took them in, and they've been earning their keep as workmen.

Groske build rocket for funeral!

Come and see, come and see!

Rocket X-15 will take the Doctor's body into space,

sealed inside a lead-lined coffin.

Then he'll be set free.

-In death, as in life.

-Very poetic.

I think it's beautiful.

Just what he deserves.

-What about the TARDIS?

-There was no sign of it.

The body was found all alone.

Blimey, though! Not a bad way to go!

That's a real, proper rocket.

-GROSKE:

-Boy smells!

Oh, thanks a bunch(!)

You short little titch!

Clyde, of all the things for you to laugh at, height?

Yeah, you smelly bad smell-boy.

You blue, bluey blueness.

This area's about to be sealed off as part of the curfew.

I can take you to your bedrooms.

The Shansheeth are holding a gathering of remembrance.

Just watch it, you.

But you see? So bright!

You smell of time.

What do you mean?

He's coming!

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

The Claw Shansheeth invites you to spend tonight

reflecting in the memories of a loved one lost.

-WHISPERS:

-So who are all these people?

Old soldiers.

It's not easy to find friends of the Doctor.

He'd come and go without a trace.

Think of all the lives he touched.

The whole planet should be in mourning. But no-one knows.

Can I see him?

I don't think you'd want to.

That sounds to me like you're hiding something.

Sarah Jane, he was hurt.

Hey, come on, let's go and sit down.

I don't even know what he looks like.

I'm sorry?

I think he regenerated, cos the last time I saw him he didn't say a word,

he just looked at me, as though...

That body could have a different face,

-and I wouldn't even know if it was him or not.

Honoured guests steeped in grief and misery,

this is the cradle of the lost chord.

Its bittersweet melody...

If you don't mind, I just need to gather my thoughts on my own.

Yeah, sure.

Close your eyes.

Remember.

Come on!

GLASS SMASHES

Oh, sorry, just ignore me. I brought flowers, which was silly, really.

There's no need, is there?

But I saw these lilies, and I thought they were appropriate.

Oh, and the vase was so beautiful.

It was hand-blown by Asian-Argentines.

Well, I don't suppose it was actually hand-blown, because, well,

-glass would get really, really hot.

-I'm so sorry for your loss.

Oh, thank you. Oh, aren't you lovely?

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I know, it's terrible, isn't it?

You are so gorgeous.

I wish I had my glasses.

You're like a vulture, a great, big alien vulture.

Babe, aren't they wonderful? No, no, no, don't be afraid.

It's just like I taught you.

You know, I've missed all this.

Hey, listen, babe,

can you do something with those for me? There's a good boy. Thanks.

I'm sorry, I'm making an awful lot of noise, aren't I?

Although there is this tribe called the Nambikwara.

You know, from the Mato Grosso.

I lived there for about six months in '83.

When there's a funeral, they sing all night.

I mean, they sound like birds.

Honestly, it is the most astonishing sound I've ever heard.

Sorry, um, do I know you?

We've never actually met, but...

It's Jo Grant, isn't it?

Wow! It's a long time since I've been called that.

Actually it's Jo Jones since I got married.

I arrived just after you left. You'd gone to live on the Amazon.

Oh, they told me about you!

-You must be...

-Sarah Jane Smith.

Oh, darling!

After all this time!

Oh, and look at you.

Oh, you're so beautiful!

Sorry. That's my gran. You'll get used to her.

She looks fantastic. I'm Rani.

-And I'm Clyde, mate. You all right?

-Yeah. My name's Santiago.

-Wow, good name!

-Yeah, it's where I was born -

in a caravan at the foothills of the Andes.

They should've called you Andy!

With respect, the cradle will continue.

I think he's telling us to behave.

It's like being at a school assembly.

Wouldn't know. Never been to school.

What? How come?

We're always travelling the world.

-What, are you rich?

-No, just the opposite.

But Mum and Dad, they got it from Gran.

-She's spent her life going from country to country.

-Doing what?

Protesting. Like that G8 summit - she chained herself to the railings.

And that climate change conference - Dad got arrested. Twice.

Mum's in Japan trying to stop whaling ships.

-Wow! Serious life.

-Yeah.

Just to get here today,

we were on the southern plateau of the Tierra del Fuego.

So we had to hike to Buenos Aires, get a boat to Las Malvinas,

and a cargo plane across the Atlantic. Where are you guys from?

BOTH: Ealing.

Oh, they used to tell so many stories about you at UNIT.

Those soldier boys.

Oooh, happy days!

-So you're still married?

-Oh, yes.

He's picketing an oil rig in the Ascension Islands at the moment.

-And I've got seven children.

-Seven!

And Santiago is one of 12 grandchildren.

Would you believe, number 13 on its way? How about you, sweetie?

Oh, I've got a son. He's called Luke, he's just gone to university.

Oh, no dad on the picture.

Ah, playing the field. Good on you, girl!

No, not exactly, but...

Oh, it's funny, all of this today, cos it got me thinking.

Cos the Doctor showed me such a remarkable life,

and when he went, it just took me a long while to get over it.

Me too. You know, sometimes I think I've never stopped running.

Then he came back, and I realised the life I wanted

was right under my nose all that time.

Who came back?

The Doctor?

-Yeah.

-Recently?

Oh, about four years ago.

I...I never saw him again.

Oh, well, it was just a coincidence.

The first time, we were both investigating this case.

The first time? You mean it was more than once?

-Yeah.

-Oh.

He must have really liked you.

You know, it's funny, but I have this notion.

if the Doctor died one day,

I mean, even if he was as far away as Metebelis Three, that...

Well, that I'd feel it. You know, in my heart.

That's exactly what I thought.

But I didn't feel a thing.

Nor me. Not a peep.

Do you think the same as me?

What? Because I think...

BOTH: He's still alive!

Right. We need to make a list,

because we need to work out who'd fake the Doctor's death, and why.

Ah, and these can help us to think!

They're scented with jatamansi oil.

It's a herb from the banks of the Ganges. It helps to focus the mind.

We'll just go and get some tea.

Oh, no, no, no, just hot water for me, please, sweetheart.

I've got some powdered lapacho.

You know, the Doctor took me to this planet once, called Peladon,

and the smell of lapacho... Well, it reminds me

-of the Royal Palace.

-I went to Peladon!

-You never did!

-With the great beast Aggedor?

-Same planet!

OK. Laters.

TANNOY: 'funeral wing now closing. Repeat, funeral wing now closing.'

It's tragic. He's dead, but they just can't face it.

I never met the Doctor. I always wanted to, but... Too late.

-I wish he was here right now.

-Yeah, me too.

No, I really wish he was here right now cos then he could explain this.

-It's happening again!

-I know! But I can't say anything, can I?!

Not inside UNIT - they'd lock me up and dissect me!

Hold on, what do you mean, it's happening again?

Well, last time we met the Doctor, it was at Sarah Jane's wedding,

and we got stuck in this time loop thing.

And the TARDIS, the Doctor's time machine,

it was phasing in and out of reality.

I touched it, and got zapped with this stuff.

Artron energy, the Doctor said.

I think it was part of the TARDIS.

-Whoa! And you thought my life was good?!

-Smelly getting closer!

-What do you know about this stuff?

-Closer and closer!

Oi! Come back here, blue boy!

He's like a mouse in the skirting board! You coming?

Yeah. Honestly, it'll be fine. We do this kind of thing all the time.

Hey, my gran once handcuffed herself to Robert Mugabe. I'm loving it!

Oi!

Groske!

Where are you?!

Clyde! Keep it down!

This is a top-secret military base and they might shoot us dead.

Oh, and I kind of promised my dad I'd be in bed by 10.30pm.

Brothers of the wing,

I have filleted the cradle to find the most powerful memories.

-With what results?

-The women.

The two wise women of the tribe.

They remember the late Doctor most strongly of all.

The cradle sings!

Surround them with song!

Tempt them with days long past!

The memories must grow if we are to succeed.

HE PLAYS HARP

There's that music again.

Reminds me...

The Doctor took me to this planet once, called Karfel,

and they had a leisure garden, and the plants could sing.

He took me to Italy...once.

San Martino, 1492.

I remember this magnificent garden. It smelled of oranges, vanilla...

Deeper! The sleep of memories!

Drashigs, Axons, Ogrons,

the Daleks...

-Cybermen, Zygons...

-Azal...

The trap has worked. Such excellent and sorrowful memories.

What have we stopped for?

-Hush a minute.

-Clyde, I'm staring at your bum.

No, seriously, ssh!

The women are named Smith, Sarah Jane, and Jones, Josephine.

We must drain their minds.

-What of their bodies?

-They will die.

Fortunately, there are excellent undertakers at hand.

Guys, back up.

-We have to get out of here.

-ELECTRICAL BUZZING

No, no, no, no, no!

Back up, back up, back up!

We are witnessed!

-There's no room to turn round.

-Go backwards! Shuffle!

SHANSHEETH ROARS

Faster! Shuffle for your life!

Fly fast, my brothers!

Stop them! Stop the children!

-Jo? Jo, wake up!

-What?

-Rani? Clyde?

-Where is everyone?

-I think there's something wrong.

Wrong? You mean just like the old days sort of wrong?

-Exactly like the old days.

-Oh, groovy!

-We've got to get out of here, OK?

-OK.

There you are!

Sarah Jane, it's the Shansheeth. They're lying through their beaks.

They want you and Jo. This whole thing's a trap.

-I knew it!

-Hold on! If they're lying,

-that means the Doctor's still alive!

-Yes!

Of course I am. I thought that was obvious. Catch up!

I beg your pardon?

-Clyde? Is that you?

-Course it's not, it's me!

I'm using Clyde as a receiver.

I've keyed into his residual artron energy for a very complicated swap

across 10,000 light years. Hold on.

HE YELLS

That wasn't me! That wasn't me speaking!

I'm getting...

That's not my hand.

Cos my hand's not white.

Sorry, Clyde, but...

-this...space...

-Noooo!

-..is...taken! Good.

So. Gosh. That was different.

-Hello, everyone!

-Who are you?

-Where's Clyde?

-Come on, Rani, use your brain!

Clyde and I swapped places. I'm where he was, he's where I was.

Which means, right now... Oooh, he's in a lot of trouble.

Doctor?

Doctor!

You bring him back, whoever you are!

No, no, no, no, no, Rani, don't you see?

It's you, isn't it? Ah, you've done it again.

Hello, Sarah Jane.

-Doctor?

-That's the Doctor?

-What Doctor? THE Doctor? MY Doctor?

-Well, he can change his face.

I know, but into a baby's?

Oi, imagine it from my point of view.

Last time I saw you, Jo Grant, you were, what, 21, 22?

-It's like someone baked you.

-Hey, everyone! Meanwhile!

Ah, yes, the Claw Shansheeth of the 15th Funeral Fleet.

I've been looking for you.

Have you been telling people I'm dead?

I apologise. The death notice was released a little too soon.

Though I can rectify this, immediately!

I'm so sorry for your loss, Doctor.

Rest in peace!

-Sounds like a countdown.

-Run!

Clear this place, seal it off.

Keep that lot trapped.

The memory weave is ready.

Not even the Doctor will able to stop the crusade of the Shansheeth.

Faster, faster, faster!

-They're trying to boil us!

-We're coming!

That's what this is all about. The TARDIS, and you.

They've stopped.

The key!

-It takes shape...

-Sarah Jane! Try to think of something else!

-I can't!

-Neither can I!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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