Part 1 The Sarah Jane Adventures

13 Bannerman Road is where Sarah Jane Smith lives! It's home

to things way beyond your imagination.

There's an extra-terrestrial super computer in the wall.

Her son, a genetically-engineered boy genius.

A schoolgirl investigator across the road.

And a whole universe of adventure, right here on the doorstep.

-Ready?

-Always.

Meteor redirected to these co-ordinates.

Strong possibility of germ pathogens.

We've got to neutralise it!

Rani, bio-coolant! Clyde, thermo-clamps!

Go, go, go!

If it splits opens, the germs will escape! We've got to be quick!

-Just in time. Rani?

-On it!

-Agh!

-Whoa! What was that?

It's reading all clear?!

I didn't do anything!

-BEEPING

-There's something there!

-What are you doing here?

-Saving the world.

All in a day's work. Goodbye!

No, wait! Who are you?!

She's exactly like you!

She's bad news, whoever she is.

-Last thing we need is amateurs!

-She looked pretty professional to me.

She must've detected the meteor, so she has alien tech.

-Plus she knew what she was doing.

-Well, I'll get Mr Smith on the case.

We'll find her.

Wait, wait, wait. What did I just see?

We've found her.

What?

There was a big furniture van out there the other day.

Wonder Woman's moved in down the road?!

Agh, you left the hand brake off!

Must be getting old.

-So what now?

-Well...we find out exactly what's going on here.

We need to talk.

-You followed me?!

-We only live over there!

Like I care, get lost!

Not...good enough!

Ah!

-Get out of my house!

-I've been doorstepping since I was 19.

-The days at the South Croydon Echo never left her.

-A journalist?

I might have known. Get out or I'll call the police.

You don't really want to do that.

Not with alien technology lying about the place.

You have no idea what you're getting into here!

Or you wouldn't be bringing kids with you.

Wherever I go, they go.

-You get one minute.

-What's your name?

-What's yours?

-Ruby White.

Put that down! Who d'you think you are?

You used a bio-coolant spray on a meteor you couldn't have known had fallen to Earth.

To destroy germs you couldn't have known it contained.

-Would you like to explain?

-All of which equally applies to you.

Don't think I haven't met amateurs before.

Why this house?

Why move here?

This area -

they call it the Ealing Triangle.

Trueman, the astrologer, happened here.

The Bubbleshock factory, ten minutes away.

WATCH BEEPS Reports of rhinos in police cars.

Alien plant life, shall I go on?

How very peculiar.

Your little cub reporters not taking notes?

My name's Sarah Jane Smith.

I'm not an amateur. I don't think you are either.

I don't care what you think. Your minute's up. Get out.

Now!

'Ruby Ann White. First class degree in biophysics from Oxford,

'attached to the Auckland Institute, recently returned from New Zealand.'

OK, save the rest for later.

-You got to admit, she sounds kosher.

-Yeah, just like us, except ruder.

-Sarah Jane?

-Hmm? Oh, sorry. What were we talking about?

-Er...Ruby White?

-Oh, sorry. I was miles away.

-So what do we do about her?

-What she wants. We stay away.

Yeah, but we keep our eyes open.

Right, you two, home, it's been a long day.

-You OK, Sarah Jane?

-Fine. Bye!

-No, this one.

-Oh!

-Huh?!

Did you see that face, then?! So cheeky.

- Ooh! Hello, new neighbour! - Hello.

Hello, afternoon.

Ooh, charming. Frosty the Snow-woman.

Yeah, maybe she's got her reasons.

-DAD: Somebody knows something.

-Went round there the other day.

-Oh?

-Just to say hello.

-Hello, Clyde.

Secret new friend, why wasn't I invited?

She's not the friendly type. ..Hello, sir.

You know, I'm still not feeling the yellow.

- It was Gita's idea! - It's like summer all year round.

Number 46, is she? I've always wanted to look in there,

but she was a right ratbag, that old Mrs Kuthrapali.

Gita! The woman's only been dead a month!

-Afternoon, Sarah.

-Oh, hi!

-Can't stop. Have to put Luke's tea on.

-Is Luke back? Rani didn't say.

What?

No, no, he's not back...

Sorry, excuse me.

Oh, shall I go over?

No, Mum, leave her alone. Clyde, we need to pick up that stuff.

Bye.

Come on, Haresh.

Look, I know she's been acting a bit weird, but that was off the scale!

And now she's left the door open!

You know what, she needs a holiday.

You're right, let's tell her.

No wait! You hang back five minutes, I'll do it.

-Mum, is something wrong?

-No, nothing, just wanted a chat.

-Missing you.

-Already? It's only been a couple of hours since you called.

Well, Mum's prerogative. How's... Oh, whatshisname, metal dog?

You mean K9? Yeah, he's good. Mum, are you sure you're all right?

Yes, I'm absolutely fine!

-Hey, Rani!

-Hi, Luke.

-Don't worry, I'm keeping your mum out of trouble.

-Oh, tough job.

Listen, I said I'd meet Sanjay back at the Union, gotta go.

See you later, bye.

Love you.

-Right, what can I do you for?

-You are not all right, Sarah Jane.

Oh, yeah, I've been waiting for this, Rani.

I forget something, I make a silly mistake,

and you blow it into this big disaster...

No, I'm not even going to try.

Hey, you're missing Luke?

Yes, of course, but it's not just that.

It's like... I can't concentrate.

When was the last time you took a holiday, a proper holiday?

-I love my work, I don't need one.

-When was the last time?

Look, I can't put a sign on the dark side of the moon,

"Oh, don't invade this week, cos Old Smith, she's on her hols."

Go and see Luke just for a few days. He only lives an hour down the road.

'RED ALERT! RED ALERT!'

-Mr Smith, report!

-'Spacecraft approaching the solar system!'

Get it on the screen!

'Scanning. No visual contact.

'Suggest intruders are using shields.'

Bring up their data traces, quick!

A fleet! Moving in to attack!

-'Inference. Invasion of earth.'

-Identify!

Whoa!

The Dark Horde! Oh, bad news...

They've never come this near to Earth.

'Their ships are undetectable by human technol...

-'ALERT - our scan beam is being traced!'

-Well, switch it off!

'Too late, they have located us. Dark Horde strategy

'will be to neutralise any technology considered a threat.'

I know them and what they did on the Kravasta colonies...

They'll be coming straight for us!

'A teleport beam is locking down on the attic.

'I can divert it, but not reverse it.'

-Bring them down in the nearest uninhabited area!

-'Complying.'

-And contact UNIT!

-'All transmissions are now blocked!'

-What, we're on our own?!

-Oh, well, life was getting boring anyway.

Rani, take that!

Clyde...

-Your hour has come!

-What are you doing?

-Our job is to protect this planet! By any means!

-Are you serious?!

-More than I've ever been.

-You're going to let him fire that?!

-Sarah Jane, this is not like you!

-Oh, stop talking and MOVE!

-How many do you think there are?

-Should we split up?

-No! Stay close.

They're down, three of them, advance party.

They'll knock us out, then fortify.

Whoa! Down, down!

-They're coming!

-They won't kill us till they've scanned us.

First indigenous specimens. They're scare tactics.

-The scare tactics are working!

-We need them close.

They're ruthlessly logical.

This Scanblind will overload their sensors.

-They'll think we're tougher, they withdraw - simple!

-Use it!

Close enough! Need to activate it. Clyde, the sonic!

-I don't have it!

-I told you to bring it!

-You said bring this!

-What good's that?! It's not even charged!

What's Plan B?

There is no plan B! Oh, I've got us killed.

Scan complete.

Inferiors. Eliminate!

I'm so sorry. Oh, Luke.

Dark Horde Warriors!

You got it wrong, boys! Scan over here...

Wait till you see what I've got for you!

Clyde! Rani! Trust me!

Clyde, left! Rani, right!

Catch!

When I shout, press the buttons!

Trust me!

-Inferiors. Eliminate!

-Now!

-Is everyone all right?

-What did you just do?

You mean, what did we do?

-'Dark Horde fleet retreating.'

-What's that?

-'I'm an artificial intelligence. Hello.'

-Hello.

-Somebody explain.

-'With your help, I reflected back to the Horde

'an image of a slightly stronger version of themselves.

-'Their logical reaction was to flee.'

-Cool! Should call him Mr White!

Ruby, you saved our lives, you saved the Earth! You are amazing!

No, I've been doing my research. If anyone's amazing,

it's you, Sarah Jane. Rani Chandra, Clyde Langer,

thank you both. I don't think we were properly introduced last time,

which is my fault, jumping to conclusions.

You're no amateurs.

If that handshake is still on offer, Sarah Jane?

Welcome to the attic!

Wow, this is incredible!

-'And rather unexpected.'

-Ruby White, say hello to Mr Smith!

-She's a friend.

-Mr Smith, wow, hello!

-Makes my revelation less impressive.

-Nah, he's good - pocket-sized!

Mr White, I like that - reminds me of my dad.

-Where did you get him?

-New Zealand, dredged him out of a swamp.

I couldn't turn him in. They'd use him as a weapon of war.

-Mr Smith, meet Mr White!

-'Hello, Mr Smith.'

'You're certainly the most agreeable artificial intelligence I've met

-'since I've been on this planet.

-You're not so bad yourself, Smithy.'

SARAH JANE LAUGHS There's so much out there.

Alien civilisations. When I was a kid,

I never dreamed the universe could be so strange and beautiful. Finally,

people I can talk to about this. It's like a dream.

Well, welcome to the club.

-I really like her.

-Yeah, me too!

-She's so much like Sarah Jane.

-Cooler car, though.

This is proper good news. We've got a new mate.

-Sarah Jane's got someone to take the pressure off.

-Isn't that what we're for?

Oh, I love Clyde and Rani. They're great kids, but...

they're a different generation. I could do with a grown-up friend.

I need a friend too. I got you so wrong the other day.

-My big mouth.

-No, no, you were right about one thing.

I put children in danger. Today I nearly got them killed.

Sonic lipstick, which I take everywhere with me.

Except this afternoon, when I really needed it.

Sonic lipstick?!

SHE LAUGHS Well, now I really feel inadequate.

You've led a normal life.

Nothing's been normal for me.

I was 23, thought I knew it all.

Just another day, chasing a story, trying to make my name.

Then my world turned upside down.

Oh, no. What happened?

I met him, didn't I? The man who changed my life.

-Who's that?

-He's...

Erm...

Oh, it's...the Doctor.. Yes, the Doctor!

I'm terrible with names, too, it's no big deal.

-The man who changed my life.

-Who's that?

-He's...

Erm... Oh, it's...the Doctor. Yes...the Doctor!

-I'm terrible with names, too.

-Finish replay.

How could I forget his name, even for a second?

How could I?

Mr Smith. I want a full medi-scan.

-'Of Ruby?'

-Of me.

-Do it!

-'Complying.'

'Compiling scan data.'

-'Sarah Jane, I do not know how to....'

-Well, just tell me!

'There is evidence of deterioration of brain tissue,

'cognitive dysfunction,

'impaired reaction times.

'Damage is not serious, but it cannot be treated.

'I am sorry, you are very ill indeed.'

Listen, in my current condition, should I be given a position

of responsibility and authority over other people's lives?

-'Sarah Jane, it is not my...'

-I want an answer!

'No.'

Thank you, Mr Smith.

So...no-one's irreplaceable.

Try it, it won't bite!

THEY LAUGH

It pongs, though!

LAUGHTER CONTINUES

Are you sure about this, Ru?

Mum, it's only one lesson!

Bye, Mrs Chandra!

-Oh, Ru, call me Gita!

-Call me Ruby.

Ruby...I can't do this any more.

-What? Don't be stupid!

-Mr Smith scanned me.

Second best doctor I know.

I'm getting old, it's too much for me.

Ruby, look at my hands!

-You need to calm down.

-Now, listen! I am ill.

My life has made me ill. I'm old and I'm tired and...I'm dangerous.

I nearly got Clyde and Rani killed and...no!

That must never happen again.

No, it's over. I'm over. My story is finished.

But this planet, it needs someone to protect it.

Are you that person? Are you the woman I think you are?

You want me to take over?

You're so much like I used to be.

-Wait, we need to stop and think.

-We do not have time and don't need to think.

You're the only other person in the world who could do this.

I wouldn't ask unless I was completely sure.

If you agree, you get this house, you get Mr Smith,

you get Clyde, Rani, you get everything. Yes or no?

-I can't suddenly decide something this big.

-Yes or no!

-Yes.

-Right.

-Well, I'm leaving right now.

-You can't be serious!

I have to. If I don't, I'll change my mind.

-Well, what about Luke?

-Doesn't need me any more.

He's got his own life and I won't be a burden to him.

It's harsh, but this life is harsh.

Just remember... One day, this'll happen to you.

So, it's a deal?

It's a deal.

Right.

Mr Smith...

program Alpha three, you delete my voice from the command program.

Your orders now come from Ruby White.

-'Do you think that is wise, Sarah Jane?'

-It's an order!

My last order.

'Con...confirmed.'

So, Sarah Jane...

what are you going to do with yourself now?

Oh, no plans. I'm just going to drive off

and see where I end up.

Well, um...

It's all yours.

Keys.

And the watch.

Oh, yes...

I mustn't forget this.

Yes, now you've got everything.

-Thank you.

-Oh...

Oh, are you OK?

I'm fine!

We're all going to miss you, Sarah Jane.

Me and all your little chums.

Wonderful, brilliant Rani and amazing, plucky Clyde.

Oh, and your son!

Lukey wukey pukey.

But you don't want these.

Your mind's made up. No looking back, no goodbyes.

You're a hard woman, Sarah Jane!

What am I going to tell those poor, poor kids?

-Wait, I can't think.

-No time to think, you said.

No-one's going to change your mind, least of all me.

-No, I can't leave.

-You can't?

-Not like this.

I didn't even say goodbye to Luke!

It's the way you wanted it.

Mr Smith, get Luke on the screen.

Mr Smith!

He's not answering!

Oh, silly me.

Your voice has been erased from the command program, hasn't it?

Yes, Ruby, please, patch me back in, I must talk to my son.

-No.

-What? Ruby, please.

What's happening?

What's happening is you're not in charge any more.

You gave me these.

You gave me this place.

And you gave me yourself.

-Well, what's left of you.

-Ruby, no.

-Oh, ssh, ssh, don't struggle.

-Where...? Where are we?

-You've got your secret attic.

Welcome to my secret cellar.

What is that?

You mean over there?

That's my stomach.

And it's hungry for your soul.

Yes, you are ill.

I made you ill. I've been draining you dry.

Sucking your life force, every time we met, drop by drop.

-Would you like to see?

-Ruby, please! Ruby, no! Ruby!

What are you?

I am Qetesh,

my race devours the excitement and excesses of life,

the adventures, the terrors, the thrills!

That's why I came for you.

Yours is the most exciting life on the planet.

I trusted you.

SHE LAUGHS Well...

I did my homework.

A meteor, playing hard to get, saving you from the Dark Horde.

Oh, you saw yourself in me and so did Clyde and Rani.

Yeah, well, they'll find me.

Hmm, no. Right now, Mr White is back in the attic

preparing a very, very touching farewell message.

-Clyde and Rani will believe you've gone, because you're going to tell them.

-No!

You handed me your life.

Now my stomach can drain you directly.

Soon it will drain you completely, and then my adventure begins!

I will feast on this world.

Soon no-one on this planet will be safe from me.

Ruby is taking my place.

You put this in her head and she's gone, like my dad! It's your fault!

That isn't me!

I'm almost upsetting myself.

You've got to get this message, you've got to help!

She would never, ever just run off.

'Unit is of Qetesh origin.'

It's the only way or Clyde and Sarah Jane will die.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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