Part 1 The Sarah Jane Adventures


Part 1

Children's science fiction drama. The world has a brand new Public Enemy Number One - and his name is Clyde Langer.


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Transcript


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13 Bannerman Road is where Sarah Jane Smith lives and it's home to things way beyond your imagination.

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'There's an extra terrestrial super computer in the wall.

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'Her son, a genetically engineered boy genius,

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'a school girl investigator across the road,

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'her adopted daughter from another world,

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'and a whole universe of adventure, right here on the doorstep.'

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-Ready?

-Always.

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Where were you the day of the storm?

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You know the one I mean.

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No-one's ever going to forget that day.

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THUNDER AND LIGHTNING

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'I was at school.'

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So then, Clyde. Your starter for ten...

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What are the parallels between the fall of the French aristocracy in the 1790s

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-and the credit crunch of 2008?

-Hmmm?

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-Well, Mrs Pittman always says history can teach us stuff about the present.

-Yeah?

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Hey!

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The Silver Bullet?

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Every crook is a target in Blood River City.

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-Hey, this is good.

-Do think so?

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Yeah. Really good. Don't see how he'll get you through your exam.

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But this is what I'm going to do when I finish school. Comics.

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The Silver Bullet's just one idea.

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Wait till you see Susie June Jones, alien slayer.

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Susie June Jones.

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You're joking. Tell me you're joking.

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Well, Sky, I hope you'll enjoy life at Park Vale.

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Luke certainly flourished here.

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I like to learn stuff. There's lots I don't know yet.

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That's a very healthy attitude.

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These days, too many students think they know it all.

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Oh, Sky's a keen student.

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Clyde says I'm a bright spark.

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CRACKLING NOISES

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What on Earth?!

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Haresh, there seems to be a trout on your windowsill.

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Excuse me, Sarah Jane, Sky.

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Some of our pupils have an over-developed sense of humour.

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SLAPPING NOISES

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Did you hear that?

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What's that?

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-Oh boy!

-What's this all about?

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Now this looks dead fishy.

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Mr Smith, I need you!

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Yes, Sarah Jane. How can I help you?

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Have you got a good recipe for the biggest fish pie in history?

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I have been monitoring reports of the unusual storm over London.

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I love this planet.

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When you think you get fish in the sea, they start coming out the sky.

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There have been many reports of fish raining from the sky.

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-There is a meteorological explanation.

-You mean it's natural?

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Storms and tornadoes suck fish out of the water into the upper atmosphere.

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They freeze, then later, they come raining down.

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But those fish are small. Wouldn't satisfy next door's cat.

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Mr Smith, the fish today, they were this big.

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No? Well, still not natural.

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-Mr Smith, I want you to scan for alien energies.

-Of course.

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Oh, and, Mr Smith, better cast your net pretty wide. SHE LAUGHS

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-Oh, don't encourage him.

-I'm glad Sky turned up.

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Finally there's someone here who appreciates my comic genius.

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Sarah Jane, you may be interested to know that the Museum of Culture

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is currently staging an exhibition of totem poles.

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Among them is what has become known as the Totem of the Lost Tribe.

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Oh, my dad wants to see that.

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Said they found in a cave, like it had been hidden.

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-I still don't get the connection.

-It was discovered in the Mojave Desert.

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A legend surrounding its discovery suggests when it was first removed from the cave,

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a storm came out of nowhere, and it rained fish.

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-What's in a museum?

-Dead things, mostly.

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And people like to look at dead things? Isn't that a bit weird?

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-If you ask me, yeah.

-Museums help preserve our past, Sky.

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-They're fascinating places. You'll see.

-Mum and Dad met in a museum.

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How romantic. Though I never saw your mum as the museum type.

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-It was raining.

-Ah.

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You got any spare change? Enough for a sandwich? Please?

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-Yes, sure, here. Get a bacon butty or something.

-Cheers.

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-Why did she want money?

-Because she's a scrounger.

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-Why did you give her some?

-Cos it's probably not her fault.

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-Isn't it pretty?

-I think the word you're looking for is creepy.

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Look at those faces.

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There really shouldn't be anything sinister about a totem pole.

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They were a kind of storybook carved from cedar trees to represent

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-myths or family histories.

-Glad they're not my family.

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You're a funny-looking bunch, aren't you? Owww! Splinter!

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We would rather you didn't touch the exhibits.

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Sorry, Clyde didn't mean any harm.

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Clyde Langer. I'm sorry. I just love art. Even when it does bite back.

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Well, it looks like you came off worse.

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-Oh, did you get a splinter, you big baby?

-My name's Sarah Jane Smith.

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-I'm a journalist.

-Dr Samantha Madigan.

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I run the anthropology department here.

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I suppose you've made the connection between the totem pole

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-and fish raining from the skies?

-It WAS the totem pole?

-Of course not.

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-She's not really with us.

-My daughter has quite a sense of humour.

-Do I?

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Have to say, I couldn't have wished for a better publicity stunt.

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-Maybe Hetocumtek is on our side.

-I'm sorry? Why Hetocumtek?

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Legend says Hetocumtek was a vicious warrior god who descended

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from the skies and tried to enslave the people of the Great Plains.

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But, the story goes that the tribes' greatest medicine men

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came together and tricked him, imprisoning him in a totem pole.

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-This totem pole?

-Well, 'tis only a story. Now, if you'll excuse me...

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So what do you think, Sarah Jane? Hetocumtek -

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-warrior god or nasty alien?

-Aliens masquerading as gods?

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It wouldn't be the first time.

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But I don't really believe in the magical powers of medicine men...

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..and according to my scans, there's no alien energy here.

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So if anything alien did cause today's shower of fish,

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it wasn't this totem pole or Hetocumtek.

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-Gotcha!

-Come on.

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DRAMATIC MUSIC

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Hello, love. Was that Sarah Jane giving you a lift?

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Yeah, me and Rani were helping her mum at the shop

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-and Sarah Jane dropped by.

-Oh, that's nice. Did you see the fish?

-Yeah.

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That's school dinners sorted for the next week.

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-Could've come battered with chips, though.

-They're saying it's some freak weather.

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Anyway, I hate fish. When it's raining chocolate, let me know.

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I'll go and set the table.

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Oh, who needs chocolate when I've got my little Clydey?

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Ah, the day it starts raining Clyde Langers, that'll be a miracle.

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Sleep easy, Blood River City. The Silver Bullet is watching your back.

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The End. Clyde Langer.

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Step aside, Batman.

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DRAMATIC MUSIC

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Morning! What's the weather forecast today, then? Raining cats and dogs?

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Sunny and bright, apparently. Not a halibut in sight.

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Mr Smith hasn't been able to find anything to suggest an alien energy.

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So maybe for once we can stand down.

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Do you want to meet a hero who never stands down?

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The Silver Bullet!

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-Did you do this?

-Of course. What do you think?

-It's good.

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It's really good. Is this what you want to do? I mean, after school?

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Yeah, well, drawing's about the only thing I'm any good at, so...

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Don't do yourself down. You're bright.

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But there's no doubt art really is your thing!

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And I love comics, so I thought, why not?

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Look out, Stan Lee, here comes Clyde Langer.

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Rocket scientist or whatever is fine if you're a super-brain like Luke.

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-But me...

-What do you mean, "super-brain"?

-He is, isn't he?

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-He's a genius.

-Yes, but the way you say it, it's a bad thing.

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As if there's something wrong.

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No. Sorry, I didn't mean anything like that. Luke's my best mate.

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-Are you all right?

-No.

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To be honest, I'm sick of the way you're always making fun of my son.

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Sarah Jane, what's going on?

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All you've ever done is tell him

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how uncool he was, what a geek, a freak he was.

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And all the time you're wasting your time with rubbish like this?!

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My son is worth a hundred of you!

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-And I've had just about as much as I'm going to take!

-Sarah Jane?

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-Get out! Now! Take your stupid comic book with you!

-What's going on?

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-I don't get it.

-Get out!

-This is crazy!

-You want crazy?

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-I'll give you crazy!

-No!

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-Hey, what's going on?

-It's Sarah Jane.

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-She's just gone completely mental.

-What are you talking about?

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Ah, Clyde Langer!

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-You get away from me!

-What?

-Leave my daughter alone!

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-What's going on? What did I do? I didn't do anything!

-Dad...

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-keep him away from me!

-We're mates.

-Keep away from her!

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-You're no friend of my daughter.

-This is mad. We're friends!

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You're mad if you think I'd be any friend of yours. I hate you!

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Rani...

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I'll give you ten seconds. I don't want you anywhere near my daughter.

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Understood? As far as school goes...you're excluded.

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You can't do that.

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Something's got at you. Both of you.

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And Sarah Jane. I don't know what it is.

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But none of it's real. Think about it...please!

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-I haven't done anything!

-You're out of time!

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Come anywhere near me again, I'm calling the police.

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All right, I'm gone. But there's something going on here.

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-And I'm going to fix it.

-You do what you like.

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But I don't want to see you again! Not ever!

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Sarah Jane, are you all right?

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Yes, Mr Smith. I'm fine.

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I am detecting an exceptionally high oscillation of beta brainwaves

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suggesting intense anger.

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-No, Mr Smith. I don't think so.

-Oh. How curious.

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-Your beta brainwave activity is now normal.

-Sarah Jane. How do I look?

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-Oh, you look marvellous! I'm so proud of you.

-Why?

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-Because I put the school uniform on right?

-No, no.

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Because you're on your way to school,

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and you've barely been on Earth a month.

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And I know this must all seem so strange to you,

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but you're very brave, Sky.

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Why do I have to be brave at school? Will people try and hurt me there?

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No. No. No-one's going to try to hurt you.

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Well, it will seem strange,

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and you're going to be mixing with lots of new people.

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-It's going to be so exciting.

-You see, that's what I mean.

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-Oh, you're going to be brilliant.

-Will you be lonely without me today?

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Well, actually,

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I was thinking I might pay another visit to the museum.

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-I thought you said the totem pole wasn't alien.

-No, no, it isn't.

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This is professional interest.

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Mr Smith, has anyone run a story on the mythological connection

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between the shower of fish and the totem pole?

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-It appears not, Sarah Jane.

-Perfect.

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While I'm getting my scoop, you'll be making new friends at school.

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-And don't worry, Rani will always be close by if you need her.

-And Clyde.

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-SHOUTS:

-You keep away from him!

-Why?

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Just do as I say. Keep away from him.

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-Don't go anywhere near him. Do you hear me?!

-Yes, Sarah Jane.

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I don't ever want to hear his name again!

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-Excuse me, but has Clyde upset you?

-And that goes for you, too!

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In fact, I want you to put your sensors on a permanent scan for him.

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If he ever sets foot in Bannerman Road again,

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I want you to deal with him.

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-Understood, Sarah Jane.

-Sky! Come on! School.

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Luke? It's Clyde.

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Look, I'm getting freaked out here. Something's....

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Luke...

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No, no, listen to me! I'm your friend! There's something...

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It's got to you, too.

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Luke!

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This is not happening. This is not happening.

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-Had enough of sixth form, then?

-You all right, Steve?

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-So, what, too busy to come and play football with your mates?

-Yeah.

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-Sort of. I'm sorry. How's your job-hunting going?

-Yeah. Great.

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Got a Chelsea scout coming down this afternoon to watch me play,

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Quarter of a million a week, choice of my own WAG -

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Girls Aloud, Saturdays, you name it. It's brilliant, isn't it?

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-I'm sorry, mate.

-Fancy a kickabout?

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Stuff to do. But, listen, Steve.

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-It was nice to see you, man.

-No worries.

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Look, I tell you what, I'll put in a good word for you.

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I'll say, "Listen, Cheryl, I got a friend, Clyde Langer...

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-"He used to be all right."

-Steve?

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"Now in sixth form. Thinks he's better than his mates."

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No. No, you've got it all wrong. You said my name! They all said my name!

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Steve! Listen to me, OK.

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This is going to sound crazy, but there's something wrong with my name!

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-It's like it's cursed!

-We'll fix that!

-No, Steve.

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You don't want to do this, OK? This isn't you. Just listen to me...

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And that's what I'll do to you.

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Get him! Stop him! He's getting away.

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-Where did he go?

-Got to go somewhere.

-Look, come on!

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Now what?

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Oh, excuse me.

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-Hi, Dr Madigan.

-Hello. Weren't you here yesterday?

-Yeah.

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Look, you're an expert on totem poles and Native American stuff, right?

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-And stuff. Lots of stuff, yes.

-Do you know anything about curses?

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Native American curses? The most famous is the Curse of Tippecanoe.

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It was, or is, a curse on the Presidents of the United States.

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What about a curse that makes all your friends turn on you?

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I'm sorry?

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-I have to go.

-I'd advise you to keep your distance from him.

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Sarah Jane, please, listen to me. This is some sort of curse.

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You're serious? You think you've been cursed?

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-He's a trouble-maker.

-He's clearly distressed.

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All day, every one of my friends has been turning against me.

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-I think it's something to do with my name.

-Don't waste your time.

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-Your name? It's Clyde, isn't it?

-No, don't!

-Clyde Langer.

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It's not just people that know me. It's everybody!

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I think you'd better leave. Or do I have to call security?

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-What did I tell you?

-Is there a problem, Doctor?

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-Get him out of here.

-Right, out.

-No! It's the totem pole!

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Oi! That's enough! Get him, lads!

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Sarah Jane! Please remember me! I'm your friend!

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Police? I want to make a complaint. I'm being harassed.

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Mum?

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Mum?

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Mum...

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Where've you been?

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Just out. Why?

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You're always lying about where you've been...

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-No, Mum...

-More lies. Always lies.

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Mum, whatever you're thinking, it's not real.

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You've seen my name. It's messing with your head.

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Don't touch me. How can I ever trust you?

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-Always skulking around, keeping secrets.

-But this isn't real.

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-I haven't done anything.

-I don't want you here.

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I don't want to look at you, hear you.

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I feel like I've had my soul torn out of me.

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I didn't do this. It's not my fault.

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Tell me what it is I've done! Tell me what I've lied...

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You can't, can you? You can't because it's all a trick.

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You've all been tricked - you, Sarah Jane, Rani. Everybody.

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Yeah, I was tricked, all right. Life tricked me. The day you were born.

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-I've had enough now. And I want you out of here. Out of my life!

-No!

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You don't mean that! SIRENS

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Mum, I love you. Please, don't do this.

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KNOCKING ON DOOR

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Police, open up.

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-Don't answer it!

-And you wonder why I want you out of my life?

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I haven't done anything. It's the curse! It's taking everything over!

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He's through there.

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We're not alone now. We got each other.

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-ECHOING VOICES:

-'Oh, Clyde, you are brilliant.'

-'We are a team, Sarah Jane.'

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BANGS ON DOOR

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CLYDE SOBS

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Are you all right?

0:23:430:23:45

Come with me.

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Sleep all right?

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What was he thinking, kipping in the rain?

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-I'm Ellie Faber.

-I'm Enrico. Enrico...Box.

0:24:100:24:15

What did he do to upset you so much?

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Listen to me, Sky, and remember, I don't want to hear his name again.

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According to our guard,

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-lightning burst out of the totem pole.

-That's impossible.

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It might be best if you close the exhibition for a while.

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He was your friend. No-one can say why you all turned on Clyde.

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-I don't feel well.

-Something about that totem pole is alive.

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-I saw it.

-Everything you were, wanted to be,

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it gets worn away till there's nothing left.

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I've lost something special, I don't know what it is.

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-Just be glad he's gone.

-But Clyde's your son, don't you love him?

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-I told you, don't say that name.

-Something bad's coming

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and it's always in the leaves. And it's put its mark on you...

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and everyone that knows you.

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Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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E-mail [email protected]

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Children's drama series from the makers of Doctor Who, following the adventures of investigative journalist Sarah Jane Smith, a former companion to the Doctor.

The world has a brand new Public Enemy Number One - and his name is Clyde Langer.


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