Part 1 The Sarah Jane Adventures

13 Bannerman Road is where Sarah Jane Smith lives and it's home to things way beyond your imagination.

'There's an extra terrestrial super computer in the wall.

'Her son, a genetically engineered boy genius,

'a school girl investigator across the road,

'her adopted daughter from another world,

'and a whole universe of adventure, right here on the doorstep.'

-Ready?

-Always.

Where were you the day of the storm?

You know the one I mean.

No-one's ever going to forget that day.

THUNDER AND LIGHTNING

'I was at school.'

So then, Clyde. Your starter for ten...

What are the parallels between the fall of the French aristocracy in the 1790s

-and the credit crunch of 2008?

-Hmmm?

-Well, Mrs Pittman always says history can teach us stuff about the present.

-Yeah?

Hey!

The Silver Bullet?

Every crook is a target in Blood River City.

-Hey, this is good.

-Do think so?

Yeah. Really good. Don't see how he'll get you through your exam.

But this is what I'm going to do when I finish school. Comics.

The Silver Bullet's just one idea.

Wait till you see Susie June Jones, alien slayer.

Susie June Jones.

You're joking. Tell me you're joking.

Well, Sky, I hope you'll enjoy life at Park Vale.

Luke certainly flourished here.

I like to learn stuff. There's lots I don't know yet.

That's a very healthy attitude.

These days, too many students think they know it all.

Oh, Sky's a keen student.

Clyde says I'm a bright spark.

CRACKLING NOISES

What on Earth?!

Haresh, there seems to be a trout on your windowsill.

Excuse me, Sarah Jane, Sky.

Some of our pupils have an over-developed sense of humour.

SLAPPING NOISES

Did you hear that?

What's that?

-Oh boy!

-What's this all about?

Now this looks dead fishy.

Mr Smith, I need you!

Yes, Sarah Jane. How can I help you?

Have you got a good recipe for the biggest fish pie in history?

I have been monitoring reports of the unusual storm over London.

I love this planet.

When you think you get fish in the sea, they start coming out the sky.

There have been many reports of fish raining from the sky.

-There is a meteorological explanation.

-You mean it's natural?

Storms and tornadoes suck fish out of the water into the upper atmosphere.

They freeze, then later, they come raining down.

But those fish are small. Wouldn't satisfy next door's cat.

Mr Smith, the fish today, they were this big.

No? Well, still not natural.

-Mr Smith, I want you to scan for alien energies.

-Of course.

Oh, and, Mr Smith, better cast your net pretty wide. SHE LAUGHS

-Oh, don't encourage him.

-I'm glad Sky turned up.

Finally there's someone here who appreciates my comic genius.

Sarah Jane, you may be interested to know that the Museum of Culture

is currently staging an exhibition of totem poles.

Among them is what has become known as the Totem of the Lost Tribe.

Oh, my dad wants to see that.

Said they found in a cave, like it had been hidden.

-I still don't get the connection.

-It was discovered in the Mojave Desert.

A legend surrounding its discovery suggests when it was first removed from the cave,

a storm came out of nowhere, and it rained fish.

-What's in a museum?

-Dead things, mostly.

And people like to look at dead things? Isn't that a bit weird?

-If you ask me, yeah.

-Museums help preserve our past, Sky.

-They're fascinating places. You'll see.

-Mum and Dad met in a museum.

How romantic. Though I never saw your mum as the museum type.

-It was raining.

-Ah.

You got any spare change? Enough for a sandwich? Please?

-Yes, sure, here. Get a bacon butty or something.

-Cheers.

-Why did she want money?

-Because she's a scrounger.

-Why did you give her some?

-Cos it's probably not her fault.

-Isn't it pretty?

-I think the word you're looking for is creepy.

Look at those faces.

There really shouldn't be anything sinister about a totem pole.

They were a kind of storybook carved from cedar trees to represent

-myths or family histories.

-Glad they're not my family.

You're a funny-looking bunch, aren't you? Owww! Splinter!

We would rather you didn't touch the exhibits.

Sorry, Clyde didn't mean any harm.

Clyde Langer. I'm sorry. I just love art. Even when it does bite back.

Well, it looks like you came off worse.

-Oh, did you get a splinter, you big baby?

-My name's Sarah Jane Smith.

-I'm a journalist.

-Dr Samantha Madigan.

I run the anthropology department here.

I suppose you've made the connection between the totem pole

-and fish raining from the skies?

-It WAS the totem pole?

-Of course not.

-She's not really with us.

-My daughter has quite a sense of humour.

-Do I?

Have to say, I couldn't have wished for a better publicity stunt.

-Maybe Hetocumtek is on our side.

-I'm sorry? Why Hetocumtek?

Legend says Hetocumtek was a vicious warrior god who descended

from the skies and tried to enslave the people of the Great Plains.

But, the story goes that the tribes' greatest medicine men

came together and tricked him, imprisoning him in a totem pole.

-This totem pole?

-Well, 'tis only a story. Now, if you'll excuse me...

So what do you think, Sarah Jane? Hetocumtek -

-warrior god or nasty alien?

-Aliens masquerading as gods?

It wouldn't be the first time.

But I don't really believe in the magical powers of medicine men...

..and according to my scans, there's no alien energy here.

So if anything alien did cause today's shower of fish,

it wasn't this totem pole or Hetocumtek.

-Gotcha!

-Come on.

DRAMATIC MUSIC

Hello, love. Was that Sarah Jane giving you a lift?

Yeah, me and Rani were helping her mum at the shop

-and Sarah Jane dropped by.

-Oh, that's nice. Did you see the fish?

-Yeah.

That's school dinners sorted for the next week.

-Could've come battered with chips, though.

-They're saying it's some freak weather.

Anyway, I hate fish. When it's raining chocolate, let me know.

I'll go and set the table.

Oh, who needs chocolate when I've got my little Clydey?

Ah, the day it starts raining Clyde Langers, that'll be a miracle.

Sleep easy, Blood River City. The Silver Bullet is watching your back.

The End. Clyde Langer.

Step aside, Batman.

DRAMATIC MUSIC

Morning! What's the weather forecast today, then? Raining cats and dogs?

Sunny and bright, apparently. Not a halibut in sight.

Mr Smith hasn't been able to find anything to suggest an alien energy.

So maybe for once we can stand down.

Do you want to meet a hero who never stands down?

The Silver Bullet!

-Did you do this?

-Of course. What do you think?

-It's good.

It's really good. Is this what you want to do? I mean, after school?

Yeah, well, drawing's about the only thing I'm any good at, so...

Don't do yourself down. You're bright.

But there's no doubt art really is your thing!

And I love comics, so I thought, why not?

Look out, Stan Lee, here comes Clyde Langer.

Rocket scientist or whatever is fine if you're a super-brain like Luke.

-But me...

-What do you mean, "super-brain"?

-He is, isn't he?

-He's a genius.

-Yes, but the way you say it, it's a bad thing.

As if there's something wrong.

No. Sorry, I didn't mean anything like that. Luke's my best mate.

-Are you all right?

-No.

To be honest, I'm sick of the way you're always making fun of my son.

Sarah Jane, what's going on?

All you've ever done is tell him

how uncool he was, what a geek, a freak he was.

And all the time you're wasting your time with rubbish like this?!

My son is worth a hundred of you!

-And I've had just about as much as I'm going to take!

-Sarah Jane?

-Get out! Now! Take your stupid comic book with you!

-What's going on?

-I don't get it.

-Get out!

-This is crazy!

-You want crazy?

-I'll give you crazy!

-No!

-Hey, what's going on?

-It's Sarah Jane.

-She's just gone completely mental.

-What are you talking about?

Ah, Clyde Langer!

-You get away from me!

-What?

-Leave my daughter alone!

-What's going on? What did I do? I didn't do anything!

-Dad...

-keep him away from me!

-We're mates.

-Keep away from her!

-You're no friend of my daughter.

-This is mad. We're friends!

You're mad if you think I'd be any friend of yours. I hate you!

Rani...

I'll give you ten seconds. I don't want you anywhere near my daughter.

Understood? As far as school goes...you're excluded.

You can't do that.

Something's got at you. Both of you.

And Sarah Jane. I don't know what it is.

But none of it's real. Think about it...please!

-I haven't done anything!

-You're out of time!

Come anywhere near me again, I'm calling the police.

All right, I'm gone. But there's something going on here.

-And I'm going to fix it.

-You do what you like.

But I don't want to see you again! Not ever!

Sarah Jane, are you all right?

Yes, Mr Smith. I'm fine.

I am detecting an exceptionally high oscillation of beta brainwaves

suggesting intense anger.

-No, Mr Smith. I don't think so.

-Oh. How curious.

-Your beta brainwave activity is now normal.

-Sarah Jane. How do I look?

-Oh, you look marvellous! I'm so proud of you.

-Why?

-Because I put the school uniform on right?

-No, no.

Because you're on your way to school,

and you've barely been on Earth a month.

And I know this must all seem so strange to you,

but you're very brave, Sky.

Why do I have to be brave at school? Will people try and hurt me there?

No. No. No-one's going to try to hurt you.

Well, it will seem strange,

and you're going to be mixing with lots of new people.

-It's going to be so exciting.

-You see, that's what I mean.

-Oh, you're going to be brilliant.

-Will you be lonely without me today?

Well, actually,

I was thinking I might pay another visit to the museum.

-I thought you said the totem pole wasn't alien.

-No, no, it isn't.

This is professional interest.

Mr Smith, has anyone run a story on the mythological connection

between the shower of fish and the totem pole?

-It appears not, Sarah Jane.

-Perfect.

While I'm getting my scoop, you'll be making new friends at school.

-And don't worry, Rani will always be close by if you need her.

-And Clyde.

-SHOUTS:

-You keep away from him!

-Why?

Just do as I say. Keep away from him.

-Don't go anywhere near him. Do you hear me?!

-Yes, Sarah Jane.

I don't ever want to hear his name again!

-Excuse me, but has Clyde upset you?

-And that goes for you, too!

In fact, I want you to put your sensors on a permanent scan for him.

If he ever sets foot in Bannerman Road again,

I want you to deal with him.

-Understood, Sarah Jane.

-Sky! Come on! School.

Luke? It's Clyde.

Look, I'm getting freaked out here. Something's....

Luke...

No, no, listen to me! I'm your friend! There's something...

It's got to you, too.

Luke!

This is not happening. This is not happening.

-Had enough of sixth form, then?

-You all right, Steve?

-So, what, too busy to come and play football with your mates?

-Yeah.

-Sort of. I'm sorry. How's your job-hunting going?

-Yeah. Great.

Got a Chelsea scout coming down this afternoon to watch me play,

Quarter of a million a week, choice of my own WAG -

Girls Aloud, Saturdays, you name it. It's brilliant, isn't it?

-I'm sorry, mate.

-Fancy a kickabout?

Stuff to do. But, listen, Steve.

-It was nice to see you, man.

-No worries.

Look, I tell you what, I'll put in a good word for you.

I'll say, "Listen, Cheryl, I got a friend, Clyde Langer...

-"He used to be all right."

-Steve?

"Now in sixth form. Thinks he's better than his mates."

No. No, you've got it all wrong. You said my name! They all said my name!

Steve! Listen to me, OK.

This is going to sound crazy, but there's something wrong with my name!

-It's like it's cursed!

-We'll fix that!

-No, Steve.

You don't want to do this, OK? This isn't you. Just listen to me...

And that's what I'll do to you.

Get him! Stop him! He's getting away.

-Where did he go?

-Got to go somewhere.

-Look, come on!

Now what?

Oh, excuse me.

-Hi, Dr Madigan.

-Hello. Weren't you here yesterday?

-Yeah.

Look, you're an expert on totem poles and Native American stuff, right?

-And stuff. Lots of stuff, yes.

-Do you know anything about curses?

Native American curses? The most famous is the Curse of Tippecanoe.

It was, or is, a curse on the Presidents of the United States.

What about a curse that makes all your friends turn on you?

I'm sorry?

-I have to go.

-I'd advise you to keep your distance from him.

Sarah Jane, please, listen to me. This is some sort of curse.

You're serious? You think you've been cursed?

-He's a trouble-maker.

-He's clearly distressed.

All day, every one of my friends has been turning against me.

-I think it's something to do with my name.

-Don't waste your time.

-Your name? It's Clyde, isn't it?

-No, don't!

-Clyde Langer.

It's not just people that know me. It's everybody!

I think you'd better leave. Or do I have to call security?

-What did I tell you?

-Is there a problem, Doctor?

-Get him out of here.

-Right, out.

-No! It's the totem pole!

Oi! That's enough! Get him, lads!

Sarah Jane! Please remember me! I'm your friend!

Police? I want to make a complaint. I'm being harassed.

Mum?

Mum?

Mum...

Where've you been?

Just out. Why?

You're always lying about where you've been...

-No, Mum...

-More lies. Always lies.

Mum, whatever you're thinking, it's not real.

You've seen my name. It's messing with your head.

Don't touch me. How can I ever trust you?

-Always skulking around, keeping secrets.

-But this isn't real.

-I haven't done anything.

-I don't want you here.

I don't want to look at you, hear you.

I feel like I've had my soul torn out of me.

I didn't do this. It's not my fault.

Tell me what it is I've done! Tell me what I've lied...

You can't, can you? You can't because it's all a trick.

You've all been tricked - you, Sarah Jane, Rani. Everybody.

Yeah, I was tricked, all right. Life tricked me. The day you were born.

-I've had enough now. And I want you out of here. Out of my life!

-No!

You don't mean that! SIRENS

Mum, I love you. Please, don't do this.

KNOCKING ON DOOR

Police, open up.

-Don't answer it!

-And you wonder why I want you out of my life?

I haven't done anything. It's the curse! It's taking everything over!

He's through there.

We're not alone now. We got each other.

-ECHOING VOICES:

-'Oh, Clyde, you are brilliant.'

-'We are a team, Sarah Jane.'

BANGS ON DOOR

CLYDE SOBS

Are you all right?

Come with me.

Sleep all right?

What was he thinking, kipping in the rain?

-I'm Ellie Faber.

-I'm Enrico. Enrico...Box.

What did he do to upset you so much?

Listen to me, Sky, and remember, I don't want to hear his name again.

According to our guard,

-lightning burst out of the totem pole.

-That's impossible.

It might be best if you close the exhibition for a while.

He was your friend. No-one can say why you all turned on Clyde.

-I don't feel well.

-Something about that totem pole is alive.

-I saw it.

-Everything you were, wanted to be,

it gets worn away till there's nothing left.

I've lost something special, I don't know what it is.

-Just be glad he's gone.

-But Clyde's your son, don't you love him?

-I told you, don't say that name.

-Something bad's coming

and it's always in the leaves. And it's put its mark on you...

and everyone that knows you.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

E-mail [email protected]