We Are Family The Story of Tracy Beaker

-Come on, bro.

-I really need to go.

-Maybe he's fallen in?

-We'd have heard the splash.

-Come on!

Hey, squirt. I was next!

Whoa! You look smart.

Urgh. That after-shave stinks.

This is gonna be a beautiful day.

He's been doing this a lot lately. Having baths, cutting his toenails.

Cutting his toenails?

Hello, hello, hello.

Good morning, Sergeant Marco. Any crimes to report?

-You've missed a bit.

-Ah-ha. Evidence.

That's my niece. Isn't she beautiful?

It was so exciting. She came while we were having our tea.

Where did the baby come from?

I'm needed in the dining room.

Shelley!

Rather her than me.

Nah. Easy-peasy. Just birds and bees' stuff.

-Give it to me, thicko.

-You've had some.

-I want some more.

-You'll have to wait.

-Fine. Have it, then.

-Don't get provoked. Go and sit somewhere else.

-Me?! But he...

Yes, you. There you go.

Where you off to?

-Places to go, people to see.

-What about your crumpet?

-You have it.

-Maybe he's in training?

-What for?

-A race?

The only reason Bouncer would run is if the ice-cream van drove off!

-I've got it.

-What?

-Not sure I can tell you. Don't want to hurt your feelings.

-That'd be a first(!)

-He's found a new fostering home.

-Wants to make a good impression.

-No way.

Me without Bouncer?

-That's like tea without milk. Tracy without Cam. Marco without make-believe.

-Nah. It's obvious.

He's outta here and he's not taking you with him.

Tracy, what if Michael's right?

What if Bouncer is going to a new foster family without me?

Don't listen to him. We'll get to the bottom of it.

Unbelievable.

He's bought flowers!

Maybe the real Bouncer's been abducted by aliens!

Look. Must be where his new family lives.

Hiya, Bouncer.

Bounce!

-I got you these.

-A girl?!

Thanks. That's sweet of you.

Bradley Plakova!

He should have told me this. We shouldn't have secrets.

-He tells you he's got a girlfriend, he wouldn't hear the last of it.

-True, true.

But it could be so much fun.

The baby came when they were having their tea.

-But where from?

-How old are you?

Seven and three-eighths.

And you don't have any idea where babies come from?

None at all? You've got a lot to learn, little boy.

OK, guys, let's get a move on.

All this stuff for the wedding reception has to be there by four.

You can go early... if you get it done in time.

Oh, thanks, Bouncer.

Duke...where do babies come from?

Well... Let's see.

OK. So, we start at the very beginning.

Every living thing comes from a seed or an egg.

-A baby comes from an egg? Is it boiled?

-No, no. Not exactly.

Look, take a flower. You're a bee.

You fly in and when you fly out again to the next flower, you take the pollen from this flower.

-How does a bee carry pollen?

-It sticks to the hairs on its legs.

-Is that why we've got hairy legs?

-Em, not quite. Sorry.

Maybe I'm confusing you.

Us boys have to pass the seed on, like bees do with flowers.

Oh, so...babies grow from flowers in the garden!

No, no, that's not it.

Tell you what. Nathan's over there. Go ask him.

He thinks he knows everything about everything.

What do you fancy doing after work?

Well, maybe we could hang out at your house.

I've heard so much about your family. I'd love to meet them.

Em...

Well, I don't think anyone's in.

-My mum's at work and my dad's busy.

-We can watch telly.

-It's broken.

-Walk the dog?

-He's at the vet.

-You don't want me to come?

-No, it's not that.

-Then, let's go.

-No!

-OK. I'll see you tomorrow, then.

But I thought...

-If you're too ashamed of me to let me meet your family...

-It's not that.

I really like you. It's just...

Fine.

Babies?

You know Dumbo, right?

He got brought by a stork, didn't he?

That's how families get new babies. They get brought by a stork.

They phone up the stork hotline. "Hello, Stork hotline."

"Yeah, we'd like a new baby."

-"Oh. You've only got triplets? OK. That'll do."

-You don't know, do you?

Don't worry. I'll tell you if I ever find out.

-Bouncer!

-Whatever it is, I'm not interested.

He's coming! Quick! Hide!

Bouncer's got a girlfriend!

We saw you kissing!

You'd been acting so weird, so me and Tracy followed you.

-What you doing?!

-We were only having a laugh.

-Just leave me alone.

-Bro...

-I said leave me alone!

What's happened?

-Nothing, all right?!

-Come on.

What's the matter? You can tell us.

I'd told her all about "my family" and how happy we were.

She takes one look at this place...

-It's not that bad.

-It's hardly normal.

-Tell her the truth.

-How can I?

It's over. Just forget it.

The Dumping Ground not good enough for her? Is she good enough for the Dumping Ground?

Hello. We're Bouncer's family and we believe you had a falling out.

-How did you know that?

-And we need to ask you a few questions.

-Eh?

-J-Lo or Kylie?

-Kylie.

-Carrots or sprouts?

-Carrots.

-White or brown bread?

-Got to be white.

-Trousers or skirts?

-Trousers.

-Roller blades or scooter?

-Skateboard?

-That'll do.

-Chicken nuggets or chips?

-Chips every time.

-Maths or English?

-English.

-Harry Potter or Lemony Snicket?

-Harry Potter.

-Full marks.

-What's the prize?

-Tea at ours. 4.30?

-You sure Bouncer wants me to?

-He didn't seem keen this morning.

-Bouncer not keen?

-He can't wait!

OK. Listen up. Bouncer's got a girlfriend...and she's coming over.

-So we need this place sparkling.

-Somewhere to be proud of.

KNOCK ON DOOR

I'll get Romeo.

And I'll get Juliet.

-Hiya.

-Wow!

-I thought I'd come to the wrong house. This place is enormous!

-Home sweet home!

-He never said it was this big.

-You know Bouncer. Not one to brag.

This is Duke. Hiya.

-This is Nathan.

-Hi.

This is Jackie.

This is Crash. Enchante.

And this is Hayley.

-You all live here?

-Yeah.

-He never said.

-Surprise!

-They invited me back for tea. Is that OK?

-Oh, I should think so.

Listen, Kelly, I'm sorry for lying about my mum and dad.

Lying?

Kelly, this is a kids' home.

-So have you found out where babies come from yet?

-No, but Shelley had the maddest idea.

-Yeah?

-She says they come from the mum's tummy!

Anyway, I worked it out for myself.

They're found on doorsteps. If the family want them, they take them in.

If they don't, they take them to the Dumping Ground instead. Easy.

I just opened my mouth and it popped out. I didn't mean to lie.

Don't worry about it.

I just thought, if you knew...

Bouncer. It's fine. This place is nothing to be ashamed of.

Honest.

-Lemonade or squash, madam?

-Lemonade would be lovely.

Sir?

Lemonade, thanks.

-An eclair?

-Yes, please.

-Eclair, sir?

-Thank you.

This is great!

-I am a genius!

-D'you think she's got a younger sister?

And you know what's really amazing? Nothing went wrong!

Crash!

Subtitles by Graeme Dibble BBC Broadcast - 2004

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