Dad Trouble The Story of Tracy Beaker

Just bog off!

BUZZ!

I won't do it! She can't make me.

What are you talking about?

-I'm to meet new foster parents.

-That's the usual way out of here.

-What'll Grandpa think?

-Don't worry.

It's like raffle tickets. You never win.

I met three lots last week at the Science Museum.

-What were they like? Horrible?

-Scary.

I mean, these people I just bumped into

were a zillion times better than anything Elaine came up with.

They were a laugh.

Hi, dur-brain!

Yeah, you'll never see them again, will you?

Actually, I have a hunch I might. BUZZ!

Sorry.

Hi.

-Hi.

-Is, um, Tracy Beaker in?

Uh, yeah. Look, whatever she's done, I'm sure she didn't mean it.

-We'll pay for the damage. Unless it's thousands...

-Nathan!

Thank you! I'll take it from here. Thank you.

-Didn't think I'd see you again!

-You left your jacket in our car.

Did I?! Thanks for bringing it back. Come in.

Nice. Could use a suit of armour. Uh, we're just off actually, so...

I've decided... you're not a dur-brain after all.

-Yeah?

-You're a spam head!

-Am not! Anyway, you're a care kid!

Mr Tact(!) What d'you want to be when you grow up...UN peacekeeper?

There's a pit where they throw us at night. Want to see?

-Yeah!

-We really have to go, sorry.

-Wouldn't want to be late, would you?

-For what?

Dentist.

-We'll be up the park later! Want to come?

-Yeah, if...if I have time.

JUNGLE ANIMAL NOISES

Bye, toilet brush!

And you're gonna let him live?

OK, tell me all you know about dads and brothers?

Brothers...zilch. Dads...?

-They're more like dogs.

-Dogs?!

Feed em, keep 'em exercised. Watch. Dad!

LAUGHTER

Drop it.

-Good Dad!

-I'll see you. I'll be back at five - take you to dinner.

Sorted!

And now for brothers...

-Brothers?

-Yeah, what do they like doing?

-Dunno.

-We like to wrestle, eh, Lol?

-That's right.

See, I'd get him like this.

Yeah, then I'd get him back like this.

Oh, the fun we had...

Mmm...sorted!

BOYS SHOUT AND GRUNT

-Hey!

-Tracy!

-Hello.

-Who fancies a kick-about?

-Go on, get after it!

-Ah...

..yeah, all right.

-My dad's rubbish at footy.

-Time we started training him, then.

Ah, none of them for Jake. He had to have a filling.

-Just one?

-Uh-uh.

-Don't worry, they're for you!

Drop it.

Good Tom. Here you go.

There's a good boy! Good Tom.

Clever Tom.

Now, fetch!

-Um, are you taking the mick or something?

-No.

So, it's some kind of joke, yeah?

Yeah, that's right. Just my little joke.

Yeah. Mad, isn't she, Jake?

-Yeah.

-Sorry, I'll just go get that.

Justine...!

-So what've you been doing?

-We went to the circus. It was pretty funny.

Kyle got lost and Mum found him with his head in a bag of peanuts.

-Oh, "Mum" did, did she? What did "MUM" do then?

-What's eating you?

My dad keeps taking me out.

He took me swimming, bought me sweets, gave me money for clothes.

-The problem is?

-He's never that nice! He bought me a birthday card

before my birthday. He, like, never remembers!

CARD PLAYS: "Congratulations"

-That makes me feel a titch better.

-I don't get it.

It's Carrie, the new baby.

Dad feels guilty!

They're taking me out to dinner tonight. I reckon it's bad news.

Well, there's something you can do.

What?

Hey!

What's the one thing a new mum needs?

Help.

Babies? Yuck!

-Hey, want to wrestle?

-Yeah! But I might hurt you.

You?! Don't make me laugh.

I warn you, my hands are lethal weapons! Hi-yah!

Uh! Argh! Urgh!

Oomph!

-Uh-oh, stop!

-What is it?

My filling!

Whoa! You knocked it out.

It's never dull with you around, is it?

Right, OK, then, back to the dentist,s.

Sorry.

It's no-one's fault. Jake just hasn't met a girl as tough as you.

Come on.

-Hey!

-Sshh! See you later.

-Got the nappy?

-Check.

"Slip it under baby. Bring the front up between his legs."

Get off! Help!

Lie still! You said you'd do this for a bag of sweets.

"If baby wriggles, speak soothingly."

Lie still or I'll thump you!

I'll get you in a hammerlock and twist your face off!

"Or try distracting him with a small toy."

Coochie-coo.

You can keep your sweets!

-That was rubbish!

-Will you help us, Hayley?

I'll show you what a real baby's like...

Great. Lie down.

..for two bags of sweets.

It was a disaster!

He said they'd never met a girl as tough as me, and then they shot off.

Maybe he likes girls... to be more girlie.

-It's kind of old-fashioned...

-Like...prehistoric!

-When he's my dad, I'll tell him...

-"When"?

If. I said if.

Sometimes, when I lived with Grandpa,

he liked to see me in a proper dress - hair done up.

A dress?!

No way, I'd rather die.

Whoa!

KNUCKLES CRACK SHARPLY

Oh, I...never saw this.

I won't mention it to anyone. It never happened! Does that cover it?

Yeah?

Waaaah!

-What's her problem?

-That's for you to find out.

-What's your problem?

-I'm a baby. I can't talk.

-What's the book say?

-I dunno, you're the expert.

-I have to go.

-You can't leave me!

-Sorry. It's OK, you'll do fine.

Remember, stay calm. The baby can sense fear.

-LOU! OK, I get the message.

-HAYLEY HOWLS

-Be quiet and let me think!

-HAYLEY BAWLS

I don't do dresses.

Anyway, I need to make up for knocking his filling out.

Filling, so...eating too much junk. Why not make something wholesome?

Wholesome?

OK, Tracy, meet...

-Mr Lettuce.

-I know everything about lettuce.

-How d'you cook it?

-You don't.

You wash it. Make a nice salad.

-And then a choccy sponge?

-Fruit.

Did I mention, I want them to like me?

KNOCKING AT DOOR

I don't believe it! You again.

Jake said you went off with his cap.

Sorry, was that yours?! Um, I'll just go get it.

Come in, I'm whipping up something wholesome to eat.

-No, we really can't stop.

-Hello, Tom!

-Oh, hi, Elaine!

-What are you doing here?

-Just picking something up.

-Tracy was asking us in, but we're gonna have to go...

-No, come in.

I'll show you around my "patch".

Well, um...

I insist. Come on, it's not as grim as you'd think.

-Well, OK...just for a bit.

-Yes! Can we see the pit in the cellar?

Wow, she's actually good for something.

It'll just be a minute. I hope you like salad as much as I do.

Great!

Right. Too hot?

Too cold?

Bored?

Wet?

Oh!

Tired? Sick? Hungry?

Hungry!

BAWLS AND HOWLS RECOMMENCE

-Did you wash the lettuce?

-No.

Out of my way...emergency!

Get lost!

-For the baby.

-Baby?!

Long story.

HOWLS

-That's me girl!

-Hello, love. Is there anywhere we can have a chat?

Might as well get it over with.

-Show me the pit!

-There's no pit, OK?

Come on, then.

Pack it in Jake... Oh!

Tracy Beaker, what have you done NOW?!

Never had a younger brother before, then, eh? Hmm.

Frightening, isn't it?

Come on, let's get you cleaned up.

Hey, um, we're going to the circus Saturday. D'you want to come?

-What, after all this?!

-We like excitement, don't we, Jake?

As long as you two promise not to out-do the clowns.

-Yeah! Please come, Tracy.

-All right!

Great. Um, give us a call. Elaine's got our number.

Yes, I'll, um, just show you where to get cleaned up.

Tracy, floor! Clean it up.

Bet you've guessed what this is about?

I've got an idea.

Here. We thought you'd like to help choose.

-I'm not choosing colours for the baby's room.

-Why not?

There isn't space for both of us. That's what it is.

You've been treating me nice because you feel guilty.

The colour's for YOUR room, love.

That's right. We want you to move in, next week.

Hey, it's OK, kiddo.

It's my fault, I won't be letting you down again...promise.

-I'm moving in with Dad and Carrie!

-What else is new?!

They want me next week! I'm outta here, man!

-Actually, I might be leaving soon myself.

-Yeah?

Yeah. Let's just call it a hunch.

Subtitles by Dawn Robertson BBC Broadcast 2004

E-mail us at [email protected]