No-One Quite Like Grandpa The Story of Tracy Beaker


No-One Quite Like Grandpa

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# I can make my world come true All my dreams will see me through

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-# It doesn't matter What may come my way...

-No! No!

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# Believe me now I will win some day. #

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No! You listen to me. I want my grandpa home now!

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-Jackie?

-Run a nursing home? You people couldn't run a bath!

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Jackie, we need to have a talk about your grandpa.

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What do you know about it?

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He's never gonna leave that place.

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He's got Old-timer's disease.

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-Yeah? How'd you like fist-in- your-face disease?

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

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MAGICAL MUSIC PLAYS

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-Hi, Michael!

-She remembered my name.

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I shouted at 'em like you suggested but they just kept being reasonable.

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I hate it when they do that.

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It's rubbish about him being ill! It's so unfair.

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-Your poor grandpa.

-I've had just about enough.

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It's time for action.

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Ah! I trust you'll be in need of some expert assistance?

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DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS

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MUSIC: "Favourite Things" by Big Brovaz

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-Hi, Louise. Do you want a drink?

-Thanks, Michael.

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-Where's mine?

-Don't let me interrupt you.

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-Carry on dancing and just pretend I'm not here.

-Why pretend,

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when we can have the real thing?

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If you need anything else, I'll get it for you.

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Michael's quite...interesting, isn't he?

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Yeah, so are cockroaches.

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Dumping Ground, down to the lake...

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-KNOCK AT DOOR

-Tracy, have you seen Jackie?

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In here.

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Oh, good, you've calmed down a bit. I just...

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-What are you two up to?

-Shelley!

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-Honestly, this place!

-Sorry.

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I'll talk to you later, Jackie, OK?

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I, um...

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-must get this damp looked at.

-Yeah.

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MUSIC: "Favourite Things" by Big Brovaz

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-Doing a spot of spying, are we?

-Sh!

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Ah, Louise! It's a pity she only goes for good-looking boys, really.

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-Hmm...is that why she turned you down?

-I... Well, she, I...

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Well, um...knowing her so well, we could give you a few tips.

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-Tips?

-Oh, yeah. How to woo the fair lady.

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If you were to ask nicely.

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-# ..What you want?

-I'd like a man who would take care of business

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# And still have the time to take me on a shopping spree... #

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Lol...Bouncer?

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I reckon she'd be really impressed.

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But...writing a love song?

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-Well, I don't know how.

-Oh.

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Easy. All you need are feelings,

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a little help from your friends and a...musical instrument.

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So, you in?

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-Binoculars?

-Check.

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-Tins of food?

-Check.

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Can opener?

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Check.

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-Lemon-scented baby wipes?

-Lemon-scented what?

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Trust me, they're great.

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-Let's roll.

-Go! Go! Go!

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DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS

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-Norma, what are you doing here?

-Sh! SHE MOUTHS

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-I'm taking you home.

-About time!

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-What's happening?

-Lol's in there with Michael.

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He's torturing him.

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My brother's far more subtle than that.

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Look, if you're interested, come back at 1.30 - seats at all prices.

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-Now go. Go on!

-WAILING COMES FROM BEHIND DOOR

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Yes, we made it!

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Ah!

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Sh! There's...

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there's somebody here.

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VOICES COME FROM TV

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Who are you?

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-The worst burglar in the world, that's who!

-I'm no criminal!

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-I'm an estate agent.

-A what?

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Jackie, they sell houses.

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Selling the house? But you can't. Where will we live?

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JIG PLAYS

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-He signed the papers.

-I most certainly did not!

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..Did I?

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Look, I'll call my office.

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Yeah, they'd be very interested

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to find out how cosy you've been!

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-Well, I can explain that.

-Get out of my house, go on.

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Go on, get out!

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Nice one, Grandpa.

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Huh! Huh!

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-Hi, Lou! Come to get your surprise.

-Surprise, what's he on about?

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Don't know, probably an idiotic...

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HE WHISPERS

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Louise, what you waiting for? Go to the lounge and get your surprise.

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Justine?

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This will do.

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Is...

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is something burning?

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Grandpa!

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-Hello, Norma, just getting a blaze going.

-What, the entire house?

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Why does he keep calling you Norma?

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MAGICAL MUSIC PLAYS

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Michael?

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-SAY SOMETHING!

-Wait, wait, wait!

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Hi, Louise.

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Um... I wanted you to hear something.

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He's gonna do it! He's gonna do it!

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# Lou...Lou...Lou

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# Lou...ise

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# Please don't tease I'm begging you, please

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# I'm down on my knees You're holding the keys

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# To my heart

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# Please, don't tease I'm begging you please

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# I'm down on my knees You're holding the keys

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# To my heart. #

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-Come on!

-Voice of an angel!

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FEEDBACK WHISTLES

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-What have you done?

-What have you done?

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Ahem!

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# Michael, Michael

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# Lend me a cycle. #

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Mmm! Mince and beans!

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Just like the old days, eh, Norma?

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For the last time! Her name isn't...

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KNOCK AT DOOR

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-It's Shelley.

-What are you doing?

-Letting her in.

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-I don't think so!

-But your grandpa, he's...

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-He's not very well.

-He's fine.

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He's just...tired.

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You open that door and I'll never talk to you again.

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Less earache for me, then!

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Hiya, Shelley. Come to join in our little sit-in?

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Whoa!

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Jackie!

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-Jackie.

-Jackie!

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He's not going back to that home, OK? It's making him ill!

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-He was ill before, Jackie, you KNOW that.

-He's all right.

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-He just gets...confused.

-He thinks she's someone called Norma.

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Jackie's mum.

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My dad was the same way.

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-Your dad?

-He had Alzheimer's disease - same as Jackie's grandpa.

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I looked after him for a long time until...

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-I couldn't cope any more.

-Couldn't cope? You?

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-There's no need to be sarcastic.

-I-I'm not.

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Oh.

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You had to look after your dad?

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JACKIE UNBOLTS THE DOOR

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KNOCK AT DOOR

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Come to laugh at me again?

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I didn't laugh. Listen, I've got to go.

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I'm meeting my boyfriend.

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Oh...right.

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Hey, Lou. Was that top comedy or what?

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Actually, it was really sweet. Thanks, Michael.

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MAGICAL MUSIC PLAYS

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I don't regret a second of the time I spent looking after my dad.

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It's just...

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I missed out on being young.

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I don't want to be young.

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I want things how they used to be.

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Your grandpa can't look after you any more.

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He needs looking after, by people who really know what they're doing.

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Hayfever...creeps up on you when you least expect it.

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# I can make my world come true All my dreams will see my through

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-# And the fight won't get me down

-No! No!

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# My dreams will turn things All around

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# With a smile upon my face I can see a better place

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-# It doesn't matter What may come my way...

-No! No!

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# Believe me now I will win some day. #

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