Return to Sender/Bouncer vs Lol The Story of Tracy Beaker

# I can make my world come true All my dreams will see me through

-# It doesn't matter What may come my way...

-No! No!

# Believe me now I will win someday. #

Paint!

Tracy.

Tracy?

What are you doing?

Ta-da!

What have you done to my living room?!

OUR living room. Artistic, huh?

It looks like an explosion in a paint factory.

Aw, thanks. Without me, this place would be in Boring Times Monthly.

I like boring. Put it back.

Oh! But I spent all my pocket money on paint to surprise you!

The surprise bit worked.

It was a nice thought.

And I was getting out of your hair so you could do your article.

I'm sorry, but if I don't get it finished today, I'm history.

Why don't you go out with a friend for an hour or two?

-I haven't got any.

-Of course you have!

All the kids at the Dumping Ground, for a start.

They're not my friends. They haven't even come to see me here.

YOU could pop round and see them at their new place.

No way! I spent half my life trying to escape from dumping grounds.

In case you hadn't noticed(!)

Tracy...

you DID invite the kids round to visit you, didn't you?

Of course I did!

KIDS CHORUS: Bye, Tracy! We'll miss you.

Do come and see us. But don't expect to find us in.

LOSERS!

I DID invite them.

Sort of.

Look, I shouldn't be too much longer.

Try and find something USEFUL to do.

Well, monsters, welcome to paradise.

Oh, wow! It's that cool in here. ALL TALK TOGETHER

-Did you tell Tracy we were moving?

-Yes. She's got the new address.

They might have lost it. She might have gone to the old place.

-Fat chance(!)

-What do you mean?

She doesn't want to mix with us, or she'd have come to see us by now.

Tracy is not like that.

Everyone's like that with care kids.

You're gonna break my heart! Come on, let's find our bedrooms.

..I'll let you have an hour, if you want to go round and see Tracy.

She's only round the corner.

Forward!

Now, I know it all looks big and scary but you'll soon feel at home.

Sid, we're here!

BOYS: Argh!

They've come to stay. This is...

-Roxy.

-Chantal.

-Rio.

-ALL: Well Hard.

Let's get unpacked.

Just wait here a moment, please. ..A quick word in my office.

Duke! Staff meeting.

This place is gonna be another pushover.

Just like the last one - no challenge.

We'll have them for breakfast.

KIDS: Argh!

What we needed was a new care worker, not more kids.

-Especially THOSE kids.

-You don't even know them.

I saw them in action once, when I was visiting another care home.

Oh!

That was enough.

They've got...a few... behavioural problems.

-Huh!

-They were dumped on me without warning.

-I've nowhere else to take the poor little mites.

-Africa!

No, Australia's further away,

-and they're used to wrestling crocodiles.

-That's enough!

-We can't refuse them care.

-I resign.

-Duke, you're overreacting.

They're just children who need our patience and guidance,

-which is what we're here to give.

-Yes!

Oops! Careful! >

-Right, you three...

-Patience. Guidance.

Remember?

Why don't you pop upstairs and see which rooms are left?

Oh!

Yeuch!

-Boring enough for you?

-Where did you get that colour?

-I mixed up the leftovers. Do you like it?

-For goodness sake!

If you're that bored, call them.

You're such a wuss. Me?! What about you?

All right, I'm a wuss, too.

Godzilla would be a wuss against the Well-Hards.

I remember the last time we were in care with them.

I'm not taking any more, OK? We're gonna stand up to them this time.

We are?

Yeah. Yeah, we are.

We're older than them... and bigger.

You could flatten six bad lads with your little finger.

Yeah!

So we're gonna go and let 'em know who's in charge here.

They don't stand a chance. Yeah.

ARGH!

What are you doing?

THIS is a Well-Hard's room.

A Well-Hard's room. Of course it is.

Sorry, we'll just tidy it up.

Oi!

Pass me an egg, Marco.

Pass us an egg, Chantal.

Oops(!)

Right!

Hey! Hey!

-Stop it!

-Hey!

STOP IT!

-She's beautiful.

-She's my favourite.

-I had to leave my dollies behind.

-Oh!

-Oh!

-You can play with this one.

-Oh, thanks.

..Dolly, would you like a drink?

Dolly's all dirty. Let's wash her!

Uh-oh. Another terrible accident(!)

Bye-bye, Dolly.

Get the duster, Rio. ..Be careful with that, Crash.

(Crash!)

-That's my computer.

-Oh, dear. No wonder they call him Crash.

Yeah!

Cam?

Help!

Help.

Help.

Help. Help.

Loser!

ALL: Loser!

-We'll watch this one.

-Marco, watch it later. I'm trying to set it up.

Hey! Give it back.

Give me those sweets.

Marco, don't!

No!

No-one hits our sister. You're dead meat.

Crash, what are you doing?

He hit me.

One...

two...

Oh, forget it.

What's the matter with you?

We must stick together, show them what we're made of, take control.

-Let's get Tracy. She'll know what to do.

-ALL: Yeah!

If she can't be bothered to visit us, she won't come and save us.

But...she only lives around the corner now,

in that nice, big...

..safe, roomy flat. Let's go! KIDS: Yeah!

Come back. Chickens!

Where do you think you're going?

Sid, Duke, we'd like to apologise for our behaviour earlier.

It was very...immature.

-Oh.

-May we go out in the garden

and have a big think about how we can do better?

Yes. That should be OK.

Why am I even more scared now?

724...

725...

7... 7...

No friends, huh?

ALL SHOUT AT ONCE

They're so mean. Crash isn't coming.

He thinks you don't like him.

I wasn't looking for Crash. I just...thought I heard the postman.

-Yeah(!)

-Tracy...

-can we stay?

-All: Yes!

-Oh, well, I am very busy.

-Please, Tracy. We can't go home.

-It's been taken over by aliens.

-ALL: Please, Tracy.

-There's no escaping from you lot!

-NO!

WELL-HARDS SCREAM

And you've left Crash alone with these monsters?! Who are you?

Cowards Incorporated?!

Well?

Loser!

Get down here now, you coward.

You're a little wimp!

KNOCK ON WINDOW

Chicken!

KIDS CHORUS: Save Crash. Destroy the Well-Hards!

Save Crash. Destroy the Well-Hards!

Save Crash. Destroy the Well-Hards! Save Crash. Destroy the Well-Hards!

-I'm Tracy Beaker.

-YEAH!

-You might have heard of me.

CHARGE!

No flipping! There's plenty more action coming now!

Oh, that's not it, you stupid computer!

Um, Earth to Tracy - it can't hear you.

-What's wrong?

-I'm trying to find Bouncer a present for his birthday.

-That's tomorrow.

-So? I can have it delivered in time...

if it wasn't so expensive.

That's 42-inch plasma TVs for you.

I wanted to get something special,

something none of the other kids would have bought him.

-How much have you got to spend?

-£3.26.

-Leave it with me.

-OK.

What are you doing?

-Go away.

-Touchy!

Lol, I've got the new Linkin Park CD.

-Want to come to my room for a listen?

-You what?

You're the only person who likes them. You're more...sophisticated.

-It's been said.

-So, what's going on?

Bouncer's in there with Sid. That's the third time this week.

-He says it's about his birthday, but he's lying.

-How do you know?

When he lies, he does this weird flapping thing with his arms...

Thanks. I'll think it over. ..Were you listening?

-No. Why, you got something to hide?

-No.

-What were you talking about?

Just, er, my birthday and stuff.

-Well, what sort of stuff?

-Stuff!

I don't have to explain myself to you.

OK, what's happening?

-Lol's really mad at Bouncer.

-Great! This could be our chance.

To do what?

Take over this place. We get him on our side, we'd be untouchable.

-All we're lacking is a bit of muscle.

-So what are these?

Sparrow's kneecaps compared to Bouncer.

You're not sitting with Lol, then?

-Mind your own.

-I understand - you've got a right to your privacy.

-You're dead right! I wish other people thought that.

-What was that?

-You heard!

-So you've not made up with Bouncer yet?

-No.

-Not until he tells what's going on with Sid.

-I know how you feel.

Roxy never tells me anything.

-It's not how family should treat each other.

-No.

-If you've got something to say...

-Don't let him get to you.

-Keep out!

-Don't take it out on her!

-Or what?

-Oi! That's enough! What's going on?

Don't ask me - ask my baby brother.

Lol...

He'll get over it.

OWL HOOTS

BURP!

That's the trouble with ordering over the phone.

Do you think anyone will notice?

Either those balloons aren't right or Bouncer's older than he looks.

Don't worry. I'll see what I can do.

I could do with a hand putting up this bunting. Where's Roxy and Chantal and Crash?

THEY LAUGH

-What's funny?

-Nothing.

Wide load coming through!

THEY GIGGLE

LOUD CLANGING

What's he doing in there?

Professor Crash is developing a deadly robot

which is designed to chase and destroy all small girls.

-Rubbish!

-You want a demonstration?

-Yeah.

-Are you sure?

-Course! We're not scared.

-Then step back, ladies.

Professor Crash, release the monster!

Destroy all girls!

Destroy all girls!

GIRLS WAIL

Destroy all girls! Destroy all girls!

-That should keep them out of the way.

-Affirmative, Professor Crash.

-ALL: Happy birthday!

-Happy birthday, Bouncer.

-Thank you.

-I made this. I made this.

Yes, and we know how.

Happy birthday, Bouncer.

-Here's a little something for you.

-Thank you, Elaine.

-Welcome.

Thanks, Duke. ..What's this?

Wow! This is great! Thanks, Roxy.

Oh, that's cool.

-Hang on, that's mine.

-Shut up!

-Why didn't you give him yours?

-It's always about you, isn't it?

BURP!

Isn't there something you want to say to your brother, Lol?

No. ..Ha, pardon me!

-Not got a card for your brother, then?

-Must have slipped my mind(!)

-That's really mean.

-It's all right, Roxy.

Happy birthday!

OK, is this a birthday or a funeral?

OK, I can see we're going to need some Beaker magic in here.

OK, my present's in the games room.

Be prepared to be seriously amazed.

After you, Roxy.

After you, Chantal.

-Oh, wow! Thanks, Tracy!

-That's smashing.

-Amazing!

-It's really good.

-Happy birthday, Bouncer.

Right, then, who wants to play?

-Me, me!

-You and me, champ! Or do you need to ask Sid if that's OK first?

No way. Game on, bro!

Goal!

Goal!

Goal!

-Yes, champion!

-I wasn't ready!

-What? No way!

-So you're a cheat as well as a liar, is it, Bounce?

-Calm down.

-Come on, you boys are going to have to sort this out.

Nice work, Beaker. Proper home-wrecker, aren't you?

Yes! It works!

It works, I tell you!

Oops...

Bouncer!

Bouncer!

-Hello.

-Do you mind?

-I made birthday tea at the Wendy house.

-Oh.

-He's got better things to do than play house with you.

-No, it's OK.

Thanks, Hayley. ..I'll only be a minute.

I made cakes and lemonade.

Thanks. For me, for my birthday?

-Mm-hm.

-Cor, thanks.

Just get in here, yeah?

-Tracy, let us out!

-Not until you two sort things out.

-I'll kill you, Tracy.

-Not from in there, you won't.

-This isn't funny.

-Shout what you like - it won't help.

-Oh!

MUFFLED SHOUTING

You were out of order calling me a cheat earlier. It was a good goal.

Like I was talking about football!

-Are you sore about my chats with Sid?

-No, I don't like your hair(!)

-I've told you, we were talking about my birthday.

-Stop lying to me!

-OK.

You want to know what it's about? I might be leaving. You happy now?

Is Bounce in there?

Might be.

I think you've done enough stirring.

I don't know what you mean. I just want to be there for Bouncer.

-Really?

-He's the first person in this place who's been nice to me.

-I don't make friends as easily as you.

-Are you jealous of me?

Of course. You're the popular, attractive one. Lovely hair.

Oh, I'm really quite touched(!) Just a second.

What?

Just looking for flying pigs(!)

-You think you're so smart!

-Smarter than you, yes.

When are you going to get it through that thick head of yours,

you're nothing round here any more. I'm queen now.

Cup of tea, Queenie(?)

Now I'm 16, Sid says I have to think about moving to a halfway house.

-Why didn't you say?

-I was scared.

-Of what?

-Of hurting you.

We've always been together. I don't know if you can hack it without me.

Or if I can hack it without you.

-So, you going to go?

-I don't know.

I've got to grow up sometime, haven't I?

I'm 16 and I'm sitting in a Wendy house.

You should have said something.

Look, whatever you decide to do, I'll be right behind you.

-Thanks, bruv.

-I only let you win at football cos it was your birthday.

-You think you could take me on?

-With one arm and blindfolded!

-Re-match!

Bouncer! Bouncer! Bouncer!

What is it?

Got you a present.

Ta-da!

Nice one.

-A rocket? What about the killer robot?

-Yeah?

-It's been destroyed.

Thanks, Crash - it's great.

I thought you'd want your birthday to go with a bang.

-Can I let it off?

-No. ..This is your day.

Thank you.

Ready?

Go!

ALL CHEER

INAUDIBLE

ALL: Run!

THUMP!

Whoops!

-Cracking!

-There you go.

I suppose it's the thought that counts.

# I can make my world come true All my dreams will see my through

-# And the fight won't get me down

-No! No!

# My dreams will turn things All around

# With a smile upon my face I can see a better place

-# It doesn't matter What may come my way...

-No! No!

# Believe me now I will win some day. #