Testing Times The Story of Tracy Beaker

# I can make my world come true

# All my dreams will see me through

# Doesn't matter what may come my way

# Believe me now I will win some day. #

-Is that your impression of a doorstop?

-Tracy Beaker.

You can't come in unless you say,

"Please, Lord Rio, may I enter your residence?"

OK, I'll say it, if you can spell it.

And wow! You've got your trousers on the right way round, Rio!

-Special day, is it?

-Ah, Tracy, I'm afraid you can't stay.

-We're expecting an inspector.

-Ah, so that's why you look so worried.

The review by the National Care Standards Commission

-can identify areas of concern in a care home.

-OK, I'm going.

You see, when you get fostered,

you don't have to worry about inspections.

I've got it made, living with Cam.

So how come you're always round here then, eh?

Because I feel sorry for everyone else,

having to live with you little maggots. See you later.

GROWLING AND SQUEAKING

Right, now all we have to do is make sure Elaine doesn't talk to him.

DANCE MUSIC

Oh, hi, Tracy!

Anything wrong at the Dumping Ground?

I had to come back cos they're having their inspection.

-Residents only, Sid said.

-Shame. Look what I got at the charity shop.

-Two quid this cost!

-Ugh, Cam, don't ever, ever wear that top...

not even to scare people with.

How did I end up with you as a foster mum?

If I was a care home inspector, I'd close you down.

Oh, no point asking me to help with your maths homework.

-This chart is to measure your progress.

-My progress?

Yeah. I'm putting you on review.

I used to get reviewed every year when I was at the Dumping Ground.

Oh!

Cam, you're squishing my chart!

OK, you haven't been a total disaster as a foster parent, but...

I have identified areas of concern.

So I will be awarding points for quality of meals, personal style

and, most important, QTT... Quality Tracy Time.

Right.

And you'll see I've started you off at minus ten for that top.

No, Mr Rooney. I'll find my own way.

I prefer to look around without the staff. Of course.

Have you seen the kitchen?

-Ah, Elaine! I've got something to show you in my office.

-But...

Yeah, in my office, quick.

So, who wants to try and get this care home closed as well?

This form goes on and on!

-Does Mr Pincher really need all this before he can talk to me?

-Yep.

-Me and Duke have filled one out.

-It's going to take me ages.

Mmm, an hour and forty-seven minutes... I'm guessing.

Does that look mouldy to you?

-You're an artist, you are.

-'Can you just tell me how you...'

look after the children's emotional welfare?

Mr Rooney was a bit vague.

Is your social worker here today?

-Mini-muffin?

-No.

Well, er...

we do have a social worker,

but that's only one way that we...

Personally, I find a nice tea usually fixes everything!

You use food as a substitute for counselling?

Oh, no, no, goodness me, no, no.

I just meant...well, everybody likes a tasty treat.

-(Except you, apparently.)

-Hello, Mr Pincher.

Would you like to look round the home with me and my sister?

Yes, I think I will.

This isn't exactly what I was expecting.

You don't all share this room, I hope?

No. (Remember what Sid said.)

-(We're not to say.)

-Hmm. What the...!

This bedding isn't very thick.

We're very grateful for it, Mr Pincher.

We stick it out as best we can. We've got one another.

Not like that poor kid. Ribbit, ribbit.

He was all right before he came here.

Carrot and pumpkin seed salad?

Do I look like a hamster?

Hey! I can't be doing that badly.

But I made you that mango and pineapple smoothie. You love them!

And what does that say... Ham?

Why do I lose points for ham?

We don't even have ham... I'm a vegetarian!

It's not "ham", it's "hair".

I should knock off points for you being a veggie.

Hold it right there, Tracy Beaker.

If you get to review my progress, I'm going to review yours!

Review me? But there's nothing wrong with me.

I'm a perfect foster daughter!

Well, we'll see, won't we? Game on.

Well...

I hope Mr Pincher appreciates this!

Oh, Elaine... would you give me a hand?

I've got to plant some herbs in the vegetable patch,

and your advice would be priceless.

-I'm waiting for the inspector, Duke.

-Oh, he'll be ages yet.

I tell you what, I'll give you a shout when he's done.

And what you don't know about parsley isn't worth knowing.

Oh...

All right.

I want you to feel that you can be completely honest with me.

Now, is...is there anything you're not happy about, here in Cliffside?

Well...it'd be nice not to have to wash in cold water.

You mean hot water is rationed?

No. It's just a dodgy boiler.

-And it'd be nice not to share a room with this spanner.

-Spanner?

-Who're you calling a spanner?

-You!

Yes, um, overcrowding does seem to be an issue here.

Not really.

Ribbit, Ribbit!

Hello, little boy.

I'm not a little boy. I'm a frog. Ribbit, ribbit!

It's a voucher for the IMAX cinema!

-I know what it is, Cam. I can read.

-Well, if you don't want it...

No, no. I want it. Bye!

Yay! Points to me!

What have you done to your room?

Do you like it?

We're showing the inspector what a rubbish home this is.

What for? He can close us down if it fails the inspection.

Yeah. It's what we do when we don't like somewhere.

And we don't like a lot of places.

If they close the DG down, they'll move us,

then we'll have to fit in somewhere else with kids like you!

So? We don't care.

-We've got each other.

-Well, I care.

Another place might be ten times worse!

You could be messing up all our lives again, just for a laugh.

I'm pleased to help, but I'm a social worker,

not a gardener. And I wasn't appropriately dressed...

Thank you so much, Elaine.

If you'd just put these away in the pantry, that'd be lovely.

There he is!

-Um, Mr Pincher! It's really nice here!

-Yeah.

We're all happy, we've got loads to eat

-and we can watch telly.

-That wasn't what some of you said before.

-Has someone been talking to you?

-Yeah.

Oh, I mean no.

Sid and Duke haven't been talking to us,

and they haven't been telling us what to say or anything.

What? What?

..and I just wish that sometimes it wasn't so curly.

At least it's not like yours, though.

Well, I think your hair's lovely, Tracy.

-I hope you feel a bit better after that little chat.

-What do you mean?

Well, I helped you get something off your chest. That's therapy,

which has got to be worth...

-at least 20 points!

-Oh, yeah?

Well, get this, Miss Sneaky...

I hate therapy! So that's minus 20 points!

Thank you, Roxy. I don't know what happened to Duke.

Elaine,

one of your therapy sessions would be good with that inspector.

What a good idea!

I suppose you'd better let her out.

Just keep her out of you-know-who's way.

I'll gather everyone together after lunch, Mr Pincher.

My therapy sessions help children express themselves.

-She must have escaped!

-Ah!

OK...

who's got something they'd like to say?

Anyone?

Anyone at all?

Don't be shy.

-Elaine?

-Yes, Roxy. What is it?

You know Catty, my pet caterpillar?

Er, um...

Duke took him away.

Oh...dear.

Were you close?

Catty was my very, very, very best friend and I loved him.

SHE SCREAMS

EVIL LAUGHTER

Stop lying! Duke would never do anything like that.

And you never had a caterpillar anyway!

He's got so mean since Duke took away his weasel.

Oh, never mind about homework for now.

Let's have some Quality Tracy Time.

-What do you want to do?

-What do YOU want to do?

I mean it. What do you want to do?

-No, what do YOU want to do?

-Oh, you're freaking me out!

Can we just forget about earning points?

I knew it! You only want to stop because you're losing!

Don't take it so seriously!

And that's minus 50 points for getting a cob on!

DOOR SLAMS And minus 30 for slamming the door!

Tracy Beaker! Just in time. Come on.

And what about the state of the children's bedrooms?

And that poor boy who thinks he's a frog?!

Now, the changes I am going to recommend are...

CLANGING

And you are?

Tracy Beaker...

gorgeous, super-cool, used to live here, now in a foster home.

I understand. You're scared to admit

what it's really like here in front of Mr Rooney.

Why would I be scared of Sid? I don't even live here any more.

You've been scammed by these amateurs.

Dunno what you mean.

Mr Pincher.

Let me tell you about the Wellards...

Face it, reviews are a complete waste of time!

Well, thank you, Mr Pincher.

And I must say you were a hit with the Wellards.

They only tease people they really, really like.

Yes. A very good joke!

The children's... high-spiritedness clearly shows

they must be comfortable here.

Yes. Well, goodbye, Mr Rooney.

Goodbye, Mr Pincher.

Having a little bit of fun at the inspector's expense, were we?

It's like you said, Sid - we must have really liked him.

Well, let's see how you really like re-painting your room!

Shall we?

Help!

Why did you do that? You were winning.

Reviews are for losers. I don't know why you went along with it.

I thought it really mattered to you.

Well, it's rubbish. There's no point in trying to change you.

I'm lumbered with you. But next time you go shopping at charity shops,

-at least take me with you.

-Well, thanks, Tracy.

And of course you do have your faults, too.

-Yeah, I said that.

-No, you didn't.

-Yeah, I did.

-No, I don't think you did, Tracy.

-I think you'll find I did, Cam.

-No, you didn't.

-Yes, I did.

-Didn't!

-Did!

-Not!

Subtitles by BBC Broadcast 2004

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