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My name is Tracy Beaker and these are my Survival Files.
Your essential guide to the ups and downs of growing up.
Life in the Dumping Ground has taught me a lot about stuff.
Stuff that can make you want to scream.
If you can cope with the stuff that goes down in this place,
you can cope with anything.
I've spent most of my life here. When I was a kid.
Now, it's where I work.
I've learnt a lot about friends.
About what life can throw at you.
It's not always been pretty.
But it's made me who I am today.
And now, I'm passing on my wisdom to you guys, in a video blog.
Pay attention, I've lived through all this so you don't have to.
On The Tracy Beaker Survival Files this time, what makes us angry?
Should we let it all out when we get cross?
How to keep your cool when you're about to blow your top.
Let me tell you a secret.
It's hard to believe, but I wasn't always the chilled,
calm, well-balanced person that I am today.
Some people even called me angry.
You never let me eat sweets.
You're wimps about horror videos.
Your kitchen stunk of wet dog!
And I never want to see you, ever again!
Anything could set me off.
I got angry about the important things, like a rejection
from another foster family.
-I asked to be brought back!
-You're just such a big fat liar.
Sometimes, it was the small stuff that got to me.
This is MY room, whoever's in it
can pack up her scratchy stuff and clear off!
Sorry, chicken, I can't do that.
At least I knew how to apologise.
Now, I save my anger for the really big stuff,
like unfairness or injustice.
Or people borrowing your clothes and shrinking them.
So, you just go into my room and help yourself?
-Then brought it here and trashed it?
-It was an accident.
-Sorry. We were just washing it.
-I don't want to hear it.
'Sometimes we all feel like exploding and hitting the roof.
'All of us, even Mike.'
'Mike's probably the kindest, most caring man I've ever met.
'But don't tell him I said that.
'I like to keep him on his toes.
'Mike has a lot to put up with at the Dumping Ground.
'He's usually really patient.
'He hardly even raises his voice.
'But when he does blow his top, you'd better dive for cover.'
This had better be good.
You are in serious trouble.
OK, Mike, much-loved care worker, imaginative chef,
unimaginable guitar player, what kind of thing makes you angry?
What? Apart from people not appreciating my magical culinary
and musical skills?
-Yeah, cos you must be used to that by now.
I suppose the thing that makes me most angry is when the people
I really care about are hurt by the thoughtlessness of others.
Well, like when Frank's grandad died
and no-one could be bothered to let him know.
He actually died nearly a week ago.
-The funeral was yesterday, I'm sorry.
-They didn't tell me!
-The hospital organised it.
-He'd got nobody else.
The funeral was important. What's more important is...
-I should've been there.
-..is the time you spent with him.
-The visits, the phone calls.
-He was my grandad.
-Leave me alone.
It's your fault!
If that wasn't bad enough, the cemetery said
that Frank's grandad couldn't have a headstone.
Poor lad's lost the only relative he had
and all I'm getting from them are rules and excuses.
It was so ignorant. It really made my blood boil.
You're just making excuses now!
This is an absolute disgrace!
You've met lots of kids over the years,
many with behavioural problems.
Think hard and answer honestly.
Out of all those kids,
who would you say was the one with the worst temper?
YOUNG TRACY: 'She started it... Noooo... I hate you...'
I can't say that anyone particularly stands out.
'Hmm. Not as much insight as I'd hoped for from Mike.
'Let's see if any of the Dumping Ground young people
'can come up with anything better.'
People who make promises and don't keep them. That makes me angry.
What makes me angry? One word. Rules.
Things that make me angry. Oh, I don't know.
How about people sticking cameras in my face
and asking me stupid questions?!
That makes me angry.
'Some people have so much anger that they don't like
'to talk about it, cos they're afraid of getting out of control.'
What makes you angry, Gus?
There are three things that make me quite angry.
One thing that makes me more angry
and one thing that makes me very angry.
The things that make me quite angry are, one,
when people talk during my piano practice.
Two, when people mess about with the toilet when I need a 'just in case.'
There's no lock on the toilet!
Three, when people move my pencils.
The thing that makes me more angry is when people touch my notebooks.
Let me write down our number for you.
-Can I borrow this? Sonny?
And the thing that makes me very angry
is when people make me late,
like on my audition day.
How could I forget that? It wasn't exactly my finest hour.
I don't want to make a quick stop.
I have...39 minutes and 30 seconds till my audition.
'I was supposed to be taking Gus to an audition,
'but got caught up with Lily.'
Start the car.
Wait. Lily, come with me.
We have 23 minutes till my audition, we HAVE to leave.
You'll get to your audition, I promise. We'll be right back.
How long is right?
Lily, this is your big chance.
Say sorry, and remember, Matt and Christie are in charge.
'I was trying to help her. I thought I could persuade Lily's
'foster parents to take her back,
'so she could be with her sisters.'
I'm sorry, I had to show you.
Lily's learnt her lesson, let her prove it
-and keep the family together.
-My wife told you...
Have you got something to say?
-Yeah, Poppy doesn't like tuna.
-You don't have to eat it.
-She likes it.
She doesn't. Why did you give her tuna?
I told you she doesn't like it. You made her cry.
'This is not how it was meant to go.
'Everyone was blowing their tops.'
'Matt was furious that we'd gone there.'
No! Please, I won't do it any more!
'Lily was frantic because it had gone all wrong.'
'Even the cab driver was getting cross.'
I've got to be at the airport in an hour.
'And poor Gus was beside himself.'
-13 minutes and 45 seconds.
-Gus, calm down, please.
Is it the music school or not?
Gus, it's all right. Can we go now, please?
-Only 13 minutes and 45 seconds.
The last thing I wanted to do was upset Gus,
but I should've known better.
Gus likes to feel in control. When things get out of control,
he gets anxious.
When Gus gets anxious, look out for fireworks.
-Right, Gus, you leg it in and...
-But we're here.
-We're only a minute late.
The longer we argue about it, the later you're going to be.
I'm not arguing and we're not going!
-Back to Elm Tree House?
You worked really hard, just go in and do it.
It'll take three minutes from the door to the loo.
Two minutes for my 'just in case'.
Two minutes to get to the school hall.
And two minutes to position my piano stool.
That's too many minutes!
-I've missed my slot.
I can't cross it off my list.
Everything's gone wrong! Everything!
-Can we just go back...?
-Back to Elm Tree House.
'All that anger, all that stress. And it was all because of me.
'I'd ruined everyone's day because I hadn't thought things through.
'So, I got furious too, with myself.
'Whatever I did that day, I meant it for the best.
'I wanted to sort out Lily's problems.
'Sometimes, the best intentions can go horribly wrong.
'Take Johnny, he's always trying to do the right thing,
'but when things go against him, his anger can take over.'
'One moment, he'll be helping with the washing up.
'Next, he's shouting up a storm to make us pay attention.'
Johnny! Johnny, calm down!
-Get off me!
-This isn't going to help!
-Get off me!
-This isn't helping.
-What's going on?
-Get off me!
I'm so sorry.
What kind of thing makes you angry, Johnny?
I don't mean to get angry, I just get frustrated.
It's understandable that you do.
Everybody feels like letting it all out sometimes.
-I don't get angry!
When you get frustrated, you can be a bit scary to be around.
Yeah, I know.
'Yeah, very scary. Even violent.'
What's up with you?
Look, look at my plant. Who did this?
At first, I was annoyed about my plant.
When I found out what had happened, I was more worried
about Johnny, because he always does these things for a reason.
He's got so much anger inside of him.
-Sometimes, he's just going to explode.
He's got to let his feelings out, sometime.
Where do you think all his anger comes from?
His mum's boyfriend used to punish him for the smallest
little thing and he would try so hard, but it never worked.
All he wants is to be loved.
That's why he's so desperate to find him and Tee a foster family.
But, you know yourself, it's not easy.
-You've thieved that foster placement.
You had a foster home and you turned them down!
-Now you're stealing me and Tee's place!
Why does she get the chances? When's it our turn?
I know we're supposed to make allowances for Johnny,
because he's had a tough time, but what about us?
None of us have exactly had it easy.
-Don't you ever hit me again.
-I'll get you.
Johnny does get a bit cross sometimes.
That's only because he cares so much about stuff, like getting
fostered, or the time when I climbed the tree and he blamed you.
Yeah, don't remind me.
Tee, please come down!
Really, deep down, you don't want to be up there, do you?
It is high. But I have to prove that
I'm not just Johnny's little sister.
I don't always do what he tells me.
It wasn't your fault.
I just wanted to be more independent, so I climbed the tree.
Nobody made me do it.
That's not what Johnny thought at the time.
Tee, grab my hand. You have to.
'Tee was OK, thank goodness.
'We knew what was coming next, though.'
-My sister could've been killed.
-Tracy didn't make Tee climb the tree.
-She did. Ask her.
She caused all of this.
She's a stupid, big-headed idiot,
who'll never be good at anything.
Writing books, working here, anything!
Tee, are you OK?
Your shift's over. Why don't you go home and never come back?
I never mean to lose it, it just happens.
Sometimes, it's like I'm outside of myself, watching someone else.
And then I calm down and I'm back to normal. It's weird.
Tracy? I, um...
I didn't mean what I said yesterday.
I think you're really good at working here.
I don't blame Johnny.
When he goes off on one, he says things he doesn't mean.
He regrets it afterwards. That's what anger can do to you.
But you can find people to help.
So, what have we learnt so far
about anger to upload into the Tracy Beaker Survival Files?
Three big discoveries, I'd say.
One. When people get angry, sometimes the reason is obvious,
like someone from the council being a jobsworth.
Or a misplaced bottle of Liam-ade.
But sometimes, it's harder to work out why somebody keeps losing it.
To find the real cause of the anger, you may have to dig deep.
That's true with Johnny.
Two. When people are angry, they often say things they don't mean.
That's true with Johnny too.
The worst thing you can do is get angry back.
That doesn't help anybody.
And big discovery number three.
Don't ever, ever mess with Gus's routine.
Another thing about anger, it can be contagious.
One day, when I was a teenager, anger spread through
the Dumping Ground like a virus.
'It all started with Shelley, who was in charge at the time.
'She was furious with one of the staff.'
'His name was Nathan, by the way.
'He was like a big brother to us kids.
'Always up for a game and a laugh.
'Never did any chores, which used to drive Shelley crazy.'
Burning the ironing!
'Nathan tried, bless him.
'But not hard enough.
'Two minutes in the laundry room
'and he managed to ruin the T-shirt
'that Cam had sent me from New York.'
Idiot! 'I was not happy.'
I'll buy you a new top.
You can't buy one like that! It was special!
-I'm trying to watch something.
-Cool iron, can't you read?
-Shut up about your stupid T-shirt!
-Who asked you to butt in?
"Someone sent me a T-shirt from New York, I'm so special!"
Uh-oh. Crash alert. We used to be good mates.
He was my best mate for a while.
Crash was brilliant, but he had a right temper on him.
Some days, he'd just lose it. This was one of those days.
'And when Crash had one of his angry days,
'it was best to hide anything breakable.'
-Duke, he won't give me the milk.
-Give Tracy the milk.
-Ah. He got milk all over me!
-Crash, for goodness sake.
'No time for crying over spilt sugar.'
You should take it out of his pocket money.
'Things were about to get worse. Much worse.'
Whoa! If I'd done that, I'd have been grounded forever.
But because it was Crash, everyone worried about him instead.
'It was so unfair. I was a victim of furniture rage.
'Not to mention clothing abuse.
'But no-one seemed bothered about me at all.'
-Well, he seems to have calmed down a bit.
What about me? I could have been hurt.
-There are more important things.
-What about this?
Maybe you'd better replace the incompetent staff,
before they do more damage.
'The next thing I knew, the window-smasher
'and the shirt-burner were having a cosy chat.
'Thinking up new ways to torture me, no doubt.
'I decided to do a bit of snooping.'
-I don't want to hurt people.
I get angry. Just like him.
You're not like your dad.
I wanted to hurt Tracy.
But you didn't.
You only damaged things, not people.
'So, that was why Crash got so wound-up.
'His dad was an angry, violent man.'
You're not like him.
'And that was why Crash ended up in the Dumping Ground
'in the first place.
'Despite his childhood,
'Crash was determined not to end up like his dad.
'He didn't want to hurt anyone. That was pretty big.
'It made me feel pretty small.
But what could we do to help Crash deal with his anger?'
ELAINE: And we're walking through a meadow,
full of lovely flowers.
Towards the beautiful mountain.
'Crash's bad day was about to get worse,
'when Elaine decided to help him with his feelings.'
It's a waste of time.
-Perhaps we're not trying hard enough.
-I do try.
Things got really out-of-hand. Someone might have got hurt.
We wondered if you might be happier somewhere else?
Oh, how could you be so dumb?
Nathan, haven't you got the washing to do?
This is more important.
Think of a beautiful scene. The blue sky and the...
I had to do something, before Elaine's anger management
training made the whole Dumping Ground kill each other.
It was time for anger therapy, Beaker style.
First, I got Nathan on board.
-Will you help me with something?
-I've got to do this.
It's really important.
'Next, a decoy to get Duke out of the kitchen.'
There's squirrels in the garden eating all your vegetables!
'Then for the tricky bit.'
Throw it at me.
I won't duck.
Look, I'm a show-off and a pain
and I'm really, really sorry I made you mad.
All right, I'm the biggest pain in the world.
Worse than Shelley with the nit comb?
Even worse than Elaine the pain?
-Nobody's worse than Elaine the Pain.
Now, come with me.
# Da-dah! #
-It's for you.
-Is this a joke or something?
It's a Crash cupboard.
-It's good, isn't it?
Everyone, behind the door.
Come on, lads.
# Go, Crash. Go, Crash. Go, Crash
# Go, Crash. Go, Crash. #
You've been making playhouses when I told you to do the chores!
-It's not a playhouse.
-Nathan, I am sick and...
# Go, Shelley. Go, Shelley
# Go, Shelley. Go, Shelley
# Go, Shelley. Go, Shelley. #
That's what you might call a smashing solution
to the anger problem... Yeah, sorry.
# Go, Crash. Go, Crash. Go, Crash. #
Once you're grown-up,
you're supposed to control your emotions.
You can't shout at people. You can't even throw a plate.
You have to handle your feelings on your own.
Being an adult means being strong and brave,
and sometimes kind of lonely.
Can you please just all get out of here?
Fine! Organise your own office!
'I really felt all at sea.
'And angry with the way my life was going.
'Cam was away, boyfriend issues, and work was doing my head in.
'I wasn't sure how long I'd be able to keep it together.
'In the old days, when things got on top of me,
'I'd let it out in a massive shouting fit.
'But when you're a mature, respected career woman, things change.
'A door-slamming, full-on tantrum is not an option.
'So, I tried to bottle it all up.'
I can't breathe.
'It didn't go well.'
-Cup of tea, lovely.
-I'm so sorry.
-I don't know what's wrong with me.
-You've had a panic attack.
You'll be OK in a few minutes. Just try and calm yourself.
A panic attack?
Tracy...is everything all right?
I don't know. I'm fine. Things are just piling up, I guess.
Cam's staying in New York.
Six months. I've never seen her so excited.
How do you feel about it?
When people we love do things we don't expect,
things we'd rather they didn't do, that can make us upset.
-I'm not angry.
-No, no, I know, I know.
But I can remember a young Tracy Beaker who,
when she would get upset with people, would get very, very angry.
Now, this grown-up Tracy Beaker may not get so angry.
Thank goodness for that, eh? Ha-ha!
But perhaps she still hasn't quite learnt how to express it
when she's upset.
Talking, you mean?
When someone loves you, really loves you, you can tell them
that you're upset with them, you know.
They won't go away.
Is growing up always this hard?
Only when you care about things so much.
'What can I tell you about anger to upload
'into the Tracy Beaker Survival Files?
'First, it's perfectly normal to get angry
'and it happens to all of us.
'Remember, you're not the only person who feels
'that way, but think about other people.
'If you get angry, you might upset them,
'you'll make them sad, or maybe they'll get angry with you.
'Sometimes, when someone gets angry, it's easy to work out why.
'Something bad has happened to them and they react.
'We all do it, it's normal, healthy even.
'But when people seem to be angry all the time,
'usually it's about something deeper.
'Maybe they don't know why they're angry,
'or they don't want to face up to it.
'Part of growing up is learning not to scream
'all the time when you don't get your way.
'Sometimes, we get so good at not getting angry that we
'end up bottling things up inside, and that can do more harm than good.
'So, if something is making you angry,
'the best thing is to explain your problem to someone
'who'll understand and keep your cool if you can.'
'That's the Beaker guide to anger safely uploaded to
'the Tracy Beaker Survival Files.'
More gems of wisdom from my experiences next time.
You'll be furious if you miss it.
Remember, I've been through all this so you don't have to.
# Don't look back in anger
# I heard you say
# At least not today. #