Drama set in a children's home. Tracy unexpectedly becomes involved with a group of old people when Liam has to do community service in an old people's home.
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I wonder how fast this thing goes.
Liam, you're going to get caught!
-It's good fun.
-Can I have a go?
-Wait your turn.
Oi! Get off!
-Could you hold still?!
-Ha-ha. Glad everyone's having fun(!)
-You look smart!
Like THE fastest getaway driver in town!
Why have I got to wear this stupid suit?
In court, it pays to look like you've made an effort.
-I was messing about.
-It could be the last straw! You could be...
Come on. We're going to be late.
He thinks I'm going to get sent down.
-He's just worried about you.
-You'll be fine. Just make the right noises, yeah?
-Give me that.
-Ah, this way!
Good luck, Liam.
Liam, face the front. Take your hands out of your pockets!
We're trying to make a good impression for the magistrate.
What's with the phone? I don't believe you!
This is big stuff!
Tracy, what am I doing wrong?
He is out of control.
Gus has got a date!
-MAGISTRATE: Good morning.
-How old is she?
-Where'd you meet?
-Is she pretty?
-What's her name?
-Have you snogged?
-Er, no, too much!
Ah, Gus has got someone coming round for tea tomorrow night, yes?
And her name is Jenny and they met in the orchestra.
Are you satisfied now?
-Gus. That is SO sweet.
A bit of advice from someone who knows. Just be yourself, yeah?
Just be yourself.
Hmm. Thanks, Sapphire.
Oh. Stop it, you two!
What? It's cute.
I wasn't taking it. I just wanted to see how fast it went.
-In doing so, you crashed it.
-The brakes were faulty, your honour.
And... And I'm sorry for any upset
I may have caused Mr Spooner but I think I done him a favour.
Your honour...he's the thieving beggar who took my scooter!
Thank you, Mr Spooner. We have your statement.
-Might as well have taken my legs. I can't go anywhere.
-You've still got your scooter.
-But it's broken, because of you.
I'm a poor man. I spent most of my savings
-trying to get scooter fixed up.
-It was a wreck!
The brakes were faulty. I had to swerve to miss ya!
-Tried to run over me!
-Give him the maximum. He's a menace!
-You lying old codger!
-See! No respect.
-This is the thanks an old war hero gets.
This isn't the first time you've been before a magistrate, Mr O'Donovan.
I don't have any parents to show me a good way. Living in care.
Well, we've read your file. And it would appear
your previous punishments have not acted as a deterrent.
So I am afraid this time...
we shall have to consider a more serious sentence.
It could have been worse!
-Worse than seven days' community service?
A young offenders' institution. Still could be if you mess this up!
So let's hope that this brings you to your senses.
-You don't take stuff that belongs to other people.
-I didn't steal it.
What you got to do? Clean up some graffiti?
No. Liam has to help out at an old people's home.
What, you have to like wipe them up and stuff?
They didn't say I have to do that!
No. Just help out. Hey!
It is a punishment, you know.
THE GIRLS JEER
So. If you were a girl...
Which we are!
..what would make your perfect date?
Well, looks are everything.
You've got to dress to impress.
What about a present? Something really special.
Hmm. A present.
Put it down.
Liam...can Mike have the DG suit back, please?
Where are you going?
Look, I'm not cleaning up after old people. It's low, Frank.
I did it for Grandad.
Yeah, but you love him. This is different.
They'll all be like that old fart Spooner!
I'm not a thief. I shouldn't be punished.
-Mike's going on at me as if I'm some kind of loser!
Look, Mike thinks you're a lot of things, but a loser?
Nah. He just cares about you!
I'm going to have to do it, aren't I?
-Or it's a young offenders' holiday camp for you!
If he's going to last, he'll need close supervision.
-Gina'd keep him in line.
-I want you to do it.
What?! But I don't do old people.
-Do I have to?
-Look, he trusts you.
You have his ear. You could really make a difference.
Help him take something positive out of all this!
-Mike, what's the most important thing to remember on a date?
-Have a sense of humour. It's essential.
-And always smell nice.
Bad smell, bad date.
Change my smell.
Well. Here we are, then.
Here we are.
Don't even think about it.
Don't move. I'll tell the manager we're here.
"WEAKEST LINK" PLAYS ON TV
-Ha! Didn't think he'd have the guts to show!
Come to do his time, he has!
Help himself more like, thieving little beggar!
# Run, rabbit, run rabbit, run, run, run. #
He'll soon be in jail, that one, I can tell you.
-Where are you going?
-It's him, Spooner.
He's taking the mick out of me.
If you leave, everyone'll think you're a thief. You lose, they win.
It's only seven days.
MUSIC PLAYS: "Addicted to Love" by Robert Palmer
-Everything OK in there?
I'm getting ready for my date. Dress to impress!
She's not due until teatime.
That's right, Mike. I've got five hours and 39 minutes to go!
OK, well, nothing like being prepared, eh?
Easy on the aftershave, mate.
Another 200 quid for the steering?
I already paid you 300 for a new battery.
Yeah, I know scooters are complicated.
OK. I'll see you in an hour.
What are you hanging around here for? Casing my room, eh?
Sorry about your scooter. I'm not a thief. I wasn't casing your room.
Eavesdropping, though, weren't you? Little tyke!
Are you all right?
Yeah, just get me to a chair.
Look, I'm going to get you some help, OK?
No! It's just a dizzy spell.
That's all. I've had 'em before.
They'll only fuss.
Get us a dr-drink of water.
-Here you go.
-That the war?
Suez Canal crisis. Doing my national service.
National Service - what's that?
What you should do instead of nicking scooters!
You HAD to join the Army for two years.
-What, and you just did it?
Happy days. All gone now.
So that's how you got all them medals?
Oh, I don't like to talk about it.
You did in the courtroom!
You lot have it easy nowadays.
they were the only family I had!
I've got no family either.
-I don't like to talk about it.
-You did in the courtroom.
Tea, biscuits, magazines? Choc ice?
-Sense of humour?
-Don't mind him.
-What can I get you?
-Just a biscuit.
I'm not that good with tea.
-We wouldn't want to ruin that jumper. You look great.
I used to be a model.
Not that I can do that any more. Make-up goes all over!
A right old scrape, that was.
I think I was chased for about a mile before the Old Bill got me.
-Don't think I could keep that up now.
Look, I'm sorry about the scooter.
I was just mucking about, honest.
Look, forget the scooter. It's been nothing but trouble.
I spent nearly all my savings on it and it still won't work.
Look at that lot!
150 quid for brakes?!
-Look, I'm no expert, but I think this guy is ripping you off!
He wouldn't do that, he's ex-forces.
And we look out for each other, like family.
Eddie says it's these cheap Far Eastern scooters.
It's not exactly fun here, is it?
George used to keep it lively.
And as for his jokes,
he had us in stitches!
-His family moved abroad.
Does anyone visit you?
Not very often.
We don't get many family visits.
We're from a young people's care home.
-But it's definitely more fun than here.
-I can believe that!
Missed a bit, son.
Oops! Sorry, love! I'm just here to see young Mr Spooner!
I just tried the key and it's dead.
But I paid you £300 for a new battery.
I'm throwing good money after bad.
Look, I've got a brand new scooter on the van.
It's top of the range but I could let you trade in your old one
and do you a special deal. Soldier to soldier?
Now, wait until you feast your eyes on this little baby.
Disk brakes. Speed charger and a top speed of ten mile an hour.
You'll be king of the footpath!
Well, it looks nice enough.
-Well, these retail at three grand.
-No way. That's my life savings!
-Of course, of course.
You being one of the boys, I'm willing to take a hit on it.
What shall we say? 1,500 and you chop in the old one?
It's still way too much.
Look, I can feel your pain, really I can. But you got to get about.
You got to feel part of society.
Tell you what - I've got a recon scooter coming in later today.
I can let you have that for 800 dead.
And I'll take the old one off your hands.
OK. I'll have it.
You've got yourself a Wheela deal!
-He's ripping you off.
He's doing me a favour.
You watch, I'll prove it to ya.
Right, I'm going to be back tomorrow. Say 11-ish?
You'll have the cash?
-I don't suppose you've seen Liam have you, Mr Spooner?
-He's on that.
WHAT?! He promised me he wouldn't run off!
He's not running off.
He thinks he's helping me out.
OK. From the beginning!
-What you looking at?
I'd forgotten how often he's been in trouble.
He'd better behave himself there.
It's an old people's home. How much trouble can he get into?
Yeah. Yeah, he took the bait.
800 quid, he went for.
Look, I gotta go. I'm at the old biddy's house.
I have moved heaven and earth.
Heaven and earth!
See. She's a great little runner.
Worth double the 800 you're paying.
But he was in the forces. A brother. We don't con each other.
He told Mrs Scully he was doing a charity fund raiser,
just so he could sell her your old scooter for £800.
I'm so stupid.
No, you're not stupid, you're just...
I know. Old and stupid.
Yes. I remember my first date.
Wow, got you good memory there, girl.
I went to town with Wilson Lecky.
And I bought an LP by David Cassidy.
-Who's David Cassidy?
-What's an LP?
David Cassidy was a singer.
Look it up. He was a superstar.
LP. Long-playing record, vinyl, 12 inch.
And we went to The Golden Egg.
Is that some sort of film?
No. It was a chain of burger bars.
And you got your burger on a plate.
And their milkshakes were to die for!
-Wow. You were really wild in the '70s, weren't you?
-You know what?
I was a catch. No!
Jenny should be here in exactly two minutes!
-I'll get it.
-No, no! GUS will get it!
Ugh, what's that smell?
-His girlfriend's here.
-Oh, come on.
-It's about time for your special present.
-That was my idea.
It's a desk tidy.
There's nothing wrong with a practical present.
-And now for some humour.
You're supposed to say, "Who's there?"!
Then I say, "Ipe".
They you say "Ipe who?". I poo. Get it?
Come on! We'll leave Gus and Jenny...
-I wanna watch.
-..on their own.
-You made it up with Spooner? Well done.
-He's an interesting guy.
Yeah. So you see, old people are just like you or me.
-More like you.
-Oi! You know what I mean. They breathe the same air.
-Get chucked on the scrap heap, like us!
-That wasn't exactly...
The only difference between there and here is that we have more fun.
-Where's this going?
-I thought we could help at the home.
-Liven the place up.
-They'd love it.
-Have to ask the manager.
why don't I let you give everyone the good news, eh?
So you want us to do your community service with you?
-You're having a laugh.
-It's HIS punishment!
-And they're so old!
Give me one good reason to help a load of has-beens.
-Because that's exactly what everyone thinks they are.
-You know what?
-My Grandad loves visitors.
You could do make-overs.
-On old people?!
-There's an ex-model there called Sonia.
-Her hands shake so she can't put her make up on any more.
-I'll do it.
Don't look at me, I'm not going.
Come on, out you hop.
I think this is going to be fun.
-Good for you.
-I really think we should tell Mike.
No way. I need to get Spooner's money back.
It smells of wee.
-Come and say hello.
I've got some visitors for you.
-Hello. And who are you?
-Um, I'm Tee.
And I'm Carmen.
Do you know...
-I have 38 pairs of shoes!
-38 pairs of shoes.
Hi, I'm Frank.
I'm very sorry.
-This is great.
-My name's George.
-Shame the others didn't come.
-Where's Liam? What does he do here?
Oh, he'll probably be with Spooner somewhere.
Tracy. Where is he?
Watch this. Then I'll explain.
KNOCK AT DOOR
Fancy a cuppa, Liam?
No, I'm all right, thanks. I've got a plan.
That's good. What kind of plan?
To get your money back.
Oh, yeah. Nice man.
What are you like? He's ripping you off!
You go outside and meet him at 11 as planned - I'll do the rest.
Fancy a cuppa, Liam?
Jenny came back?!
Look, Gus and his girlfriend Jenny insisted on playing for everyone.
I couldn't leave the rest behind, could I?! So, come on, guys.
Come and say hi to everybody.
Oh. A keen customer. That's what I like, Mr Spooner.
No need to go through it again, eh? Two honest squaddies like us!
Oh, you really are a class act, Eddie.
What's this? 150 quid for a service.
200 for wheel bearings.
It goes on. About two grand's worth of bills,
on top of what Mr Spooner paid for that heap of junk you sold him.
-What's this, You hired some yob to shake me down?
he's just an honest young lad who opened my eyes.
You're a cheat, a liar and a thief!
-Give me one good reason not to call the police!
My labour charges?
'I have moved heaven and earth for you, Mrs Scully. Heaven and earth.'
Ah, ah, ah. Now, I'll tell you what we'll do.
You give Mr Spooner here a nice new scooter and we'll forget everything.
-This is blackmail.
-It's either that or we call the police.
And you'll delete that film. There'll be nothing else said?
-All right. It's a deal!
I should have known you weren't in the Army.
Your sort hasn't got the bottle.
Army's full of mugs. Mugs like you!
Oh, you little liar!
-I didn't call them. She did!
-Too bad that video was your only evidence.
Too bad I sent it to her first.
THEY PLAY Tchaikovsky's "Swan Lake"
I know I get on your case, Liam,
but that was marvellous what you did today.
I'm very proud of you.
Shove along. Let me have a go, eh?
Where'd Spooner go?
Right, come on, let's boogie. Ready? Three, four.
THEY PLAY "Great Balls Of Fire"
Whoo! Great. That's good.
Come on, Jenny.
You all right, Mr Spooner?
We're all having fun out there.
You took it, you thief!
It's me, Mr Spooner. It's Liam.
You little beggar! You stole it!
-He's a thief!
-He's a thief!
-It's all right. Calm down. Calm down.
-I suppose I gave you quite a fright.
-You could say that.
Sometimes it goes all strange, Liam. Like I'm here...
but I'm not. I'm so sorry.
You really helped me.
And I want to give you something as a thank you.
Look, I can't take this.
-You earned it.
-So did you.
-See you tomorrow, eh?
-Five days to go.
Anyone would think you like having me here.
THEY EXCHANGE FAREWELLS
-I think we did a really good thing today!
-Yeah, we did.
-Can I come back and visit George?
All aboard! Chop, chop.
In you get.
You haven't seen Liam, have you?
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
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