Brain Factor! Ultimate Brain

What happens when we smash some tomatoes?

Will Guinea Pig float like a butterfly

or fall like a sack of spuds on the Ultimate Brain skywalk?

And just how bad does alien fish stew smell?

No, it's not another cookery show,

it's time for Ultimate Brain!

Ah-ha-ha!

My name is Dr Brain, and if you hadn't realised that already,

you should know that David Attenborough is not about

to make an appearance and give me an ikkle wikkle cuddle.

No! This is a half-man, half-monkey.

His goal is simple - he is looking for baffling brilliance,

cracking cleverness and monumental mega-minds.

Oh! Oh, oh-ho-ho!

Too much brain for one dashing monkey scientist!

This is Ultimate Brain. Giddy-up! Oh, I haven't got a horse.

I'll have to walk then.

Let's meet the canny contestants

hoping they can be experts at experiments.

First up, glowing in green and playing as a team,

from Birmingham, it's...

They're dressed in yellow,

but they're in no mood to be mellow, from East Sussex...

And now it's time for our celebrity team.

In blue, from the X Factor...

These folks are playing for pride, prestige, erm...

pretzels or pizza or something.

No, not pizza! Let's find out who they are.

First we have the Green Team!

How are you, Greens?

-Hello!

-Good to meet you. Are you into science?

-Yes!

-Are you good at it?

-YES!

-You've got good brains?

-Yes.

-Yes! You going to win?

-YES!

-Wow!

I like your positivity, Greens.

What's your team name?

Fantastic! It's the Greens!

APPLAUSE

Look who I have here. It's the Yellow Team.

-Are you good at science?

-Yes.

Good at experiments and things?

-Definitely.

-You've got the right kind of brains for this show?

-Yes.

-You're up for it?

-Yes!

-You like a challenge?

-Yes!

What's your team name?

-It's the yellows!

-APPLAUSE

-And now...

-X FACTOR THEME PLAYS

..it's the X Factor!

And here they are, the Blue Team!

-Nice to meet you, Blues. How are you?

-All right.

-IRISH ACCENT:

-I don't think you're going to do very well.

Nobody's going to vote for you.

You're not going to do very well at all.

-AS SIMON COWELL:

-Now, Louis, just shut up...

-NORMALLY:

-So, it's good to see you.

-You must be exhausted!

-Pretty tired.

-Yeah, we're not long off tour.

Done all your tours and all that sort of stuff?

What did you get up to on the tour? Anything?

-Well, all right, I'll be honest.

-Yes.

-I got a stinkbomb and I put it under the stage.

-Yes?

And I stamped on it and walked away, so all the artists went up

and there was a big waft of a stinkbomb.

How was it for the audience?

The first four rows really panicked.

They really thought that someone, you know, let one off,

-so to say.

-You're sure it wasn't your singing?

-ALL:

-Ooh!

HE SINGS A TUNE

Here they are. It's good to meet you. What's your team name?

Only The Stevi on the Ultimate Brain!

Remember, teams, you'll need to be at your brainy best

to bring home the honour points so MIND how you go.

Eh, mind? Mind!

MIND!

Cos mind is the brain which... And... Oh, forget it.

Here we go with the first amazing round.

These hands have amazing superpowers,

but they can't bend a mouse's coat hanger back into shape.

Ah-ha-ha, look at this.

Look how I bend this with my incredible monkey strength.

HE STRAINS

You wouldn't have a go, would you?

All right, show off!

But I, Dr Brain, the greatest monkey mind to ever wear spandex to work

will drop these pieces of nitinol wire -

wire of different sizes, looks and shapes

into this bowl of hot water.

Now, the question is, what will happen to the wire

when it hits the hot water?!

Look at the confusion on their faces.

You have four choices, count them, one, two, three, four.

Now, listen up, everybody.

When we release the wires into the hot water,

will they...

..to escape the heat?

Something that you have thought of,

that I may have missed.

Ooh! Is that even possible?

OK, you brilliantly brainy bunch, decide amongst yourselves.

Your thinking time starts...now!

So, what will our pieces of special metal do in the hot water, eh?

Intriguing!

Four choices here. Consider carefully, teams.

Have you thought of your answer?

-ALARM SOUNDS

-OK, OK.

Everyone, that's it, that's it.

Your thinking time is done.

Reveal your answers now!

What have we got? Ah, we have a D...

-We have D, we have a D, we have a...

-BEAT STARTS

We could be a boy, girl and monkey band, couldn't we?

Triple D!

So, we'll go for Greens first. What is your something else?

Float. We think they're going to float.

They're going to float.

Yellows?

Er, we think it'll bend.

-Bend?

-Bend.

-Ooh.

-Like spaghetti in the water.

As it goes in the water, it starts to bend.

Ah. Blues?

Personally, I think it'll sink,

-but I'm going with the girls.

-I think it'll float.

I have a feeling it's going to float.

-Ah...

-I think so.

-Very interesting.

Now, when dealing with a hot water experiment,

you need something very,

very special to make it a safe experiment.

-Do we know what that is?

-Erm...

-An adult?

An adult. A grown-up, as they're also known.

-Right, here we go. You ready, everybody?

-Yes.

Let's go it. Let's drop wire into water in the name of science.

Three, two, one, go!

Wow... Did you see that?

Wow, indeed! They've turned into a spring and two paperclips!

This is because nitinol is a special type of metal -

a shape memory metal!

So although you can stretch it out and bend it any way you like

when it's cold, as soon as it is put into hot water,

it turns back into its pre-set shape.

Like the spring and the paperclips.

Is it magic? Course it's not magic - it's science, folks!

So, teams, you all said D, which was the right answer,

and the Yellows, you were sort of closest.

You were on the right lines with it bending,

but nobody got the actual, exact right answer,

which was that it would revert back to its pre-set shape.

So I'm going to give you all two points.

-Well done, everybody.

-Yay!

And just to show I'm not fibbing, there they are.

It's time now to tune your brains...

..to a different thinking frequency.

Which is harder to say than it sounds.

Behold!

We call this challenge the skywalk.

Some people are late for school or late for work,

depending on your age and financial responsibilities.

So I've created this skywalk to help shorten your journey

by manoeuvring over obstructive crowds.

Now, as my skywalk can be adapted to all terrains,

I made the walkway perilously narrow

and placed several distractions en route - that's French, you know.

Some Wellington boots, a bucket,

my socks and vests on a washing line,

and a terrible blasting wind machine,

so that we can always be ready for the unexpected.

Our teams were given two days,

and a massive budget of £50 to design their challenge.

Here, our teams have got to design an invention.

To get Guinea Pig all the way across the skywalk,

he must pass the obstacles without falling off.

They need to think about centre of gravity and balance.

If they can design a way to lower GP's centre of gravity,

or to increase his contact with the skywalk,

then he'll be more balanced

and, hopefully, make it all the way to the end.

And here he is...

Yes, it's our willing walkway wanderer,

destined to selflessly throw himself head first

into all of my daring experiments

and come out miraculously unscathed every time...

I hope. It's Guinea Pig!

Ah, hi, Guinea Pig. Are you nervous?

No? Good! That's the spirit.

That's what I love about Guinea Pig -

he's always raring to go!

I'm not just a guinea pig, I'm a human being too!

Ah-ha-ha-ha!

You're more than that, GP.

# You're a man of steel

# You're a force of nature... #

And you're a fool as well. Only joking!

So, let's see what our teams have come up with,

and first, this is the Yellow creation.

What's he got on his feet, then?

-They are the balance boots.

-And what are they made of?

Wood and Velcro.

Is there anything underneath them, or...?

Erm, it's a hole that's the width of the beam.

It's just a hole that's the exact width,

hopefully, of the beam itself.

With the provided stick, if, let's say, he loses his balance as he goes

over the obstacles, he could put that down and keep himself steady.

-Ah!

-And then carry on moving.

So you're sort of spreading the weight of him

as well a little bit, aren't you? And balancing him out.

The Super Geeks have gone for a two-pronged attack.

Balance boots to catch on the side of the beam

to stop Guinea Pig from falling

and a balance stick to increase GP's contact with the skywalk.

But will this cumbersome boots and stick combo

slide through the challenge?

Shall we see if it works?

-ALL:

-Yes.

-Let's see it. Are you ready, Guinea Pig?

-No.

-In three, two, one!

Go!

Now, you can shout encouragement to him.

Tell him what to do. If you see him doing anything wrong.

Use the stick and move the washing line up over your head.

Now, this is going to be the tricky bit, isn't it?

How does he get his leg...?

Take your time! Don't try and rush it.

Retrieve the other leg. Ah, there goes a shoe. There goes his shoe.

Stick your foot back into the Velcro.

Running out of time, I'm afraid, Guinea Pig.

Yes. Knock the boots off!

-KLAXON

-And that's time up.

That's time up, Guinea Pig.

Well, at least you didn't fall off.

Yay! Success...ish.

GP was balanced even over the obstacles,

but the heavy boots and stick just made it very slow going...

Zzzzzz!

Well, I think you did pretty well.

Let's find out how the other teams do.

-Tell them, Dr Morgan!

-Next up, the Blue Team!

Whoo!

What's it all about, Blues?

-It's a fruit kebab.

-A fruit kebab?!

-Yeah!

What's the idea behind it?

It's a balancing beam,

but we've put some fruit on the end of it to kind of, like, keep

the weight down so it's not just a flimsy pole and to keep it balanced.

Ah, so you've got balance

and also you're lowering his centre of gravity.

Normally, Guinea Pig's centre of gravity

is about where his belly button is, where he keeps his fluff collection.

But, with the amazing fruit kebab, this will be lowered,

and a lower centre of gravity means more balance,

and a fruit kebab, of course, means a better balanced diet,

but will he be balanced enough?

-Shall we see your plan in action?

-Yes!

-Let's do it.

Are you ready, Guinea Pig?

I feel like I'm about to become a fruit salad.

Here we go - three, two, one, go!

Go on, Guinea Pig! Nice and slow, there.

-Nearly at the end of the first beam.

-Yeah!

-Over the washing.

-Kick them out the way!

-Kick 'em.

-Yeah!

-Oh, he's kicked the boots.

He's given those boots the boot.

Watch your foot behind it. Yes!

-Just walk over the bucket.

-Yes!

Oh, he's kicked the bucket!

-You've got to try and go under.

-Limbo, limbo, limbo!

Ah, now, what's he going to do?

Bring your stick with you underneath.

-Is he going to try and vault over?

-Come on! Come on, you can do this.

Go on, GP. Come on.

-You're still trapped.

-Come on!

That's it. Keep it up.

-Oh, look at that.

-Whoo!

-Yes!

-All the way!

He's done it!

THEY CHEER

Caramba!

With this new lower centre of gravity, GP was on fire!

Not literally, don't worry. He was giving boots the boot,

kicking the bucket, and doing some awesome lift-y, throw-y,

catchy thingy with his fruity kebab-y.

Only The Stevi's design was a roaring success.

Let's toast an extra banana smoothie to victory!

Well done, you Blues.

Let's see how the Greens get on.

You've gone to town a bit here. What have you got here?

-They're wings for balance.

-And on his shoes, he has...

A special spike for grips.

-Ah, I see.

-We named them Grippy Shoes.

-Grippy Shoes!

Team Brilliant Brains hope to hold GP's feet onto the pole with their

Grippy Shoes, and they reckon their wings will give him extra balance.

We'll see, won't we?

Right now!

-Shall we see it in action?

-Yes!

Let's try it. Here he goes. You ready, Guinea Pig?

I'm ready to take off, Dr Brain.

Let's do it. Three, two, one!

Go!

Step over it. Step over it, cos that's what bosses do.

Kick the boots because they are unnecessary.

Ooh, the wind seems to be catching those colourful wings.

Step over it!

Come on.

Kick the bucket!

Kick it!

And then... Oh, gosh!

Put your wings down and try and crouch under.

Put your wings down and try and crouch under!

-No!

-Oh, oh!

Oh, down he goes. Bad luck!

-Oh, he was so nearly there!

-He never listens!

Oh, dear.

Apart from the wings trying to take off,

it seemed to be going so well.

If only GP had listened.

And maybe if those Brilliant Brains had given him

more devices to help him balance, and generally a better design,

that would have helped, too.

Well, unlucky there, Greens.

And, of course, to the Yellows, but the Blues,

you got all the way to the end - you get ten points.

APPLAUSE

Two, two...whoo - 12!

Now, when I'm not working away in the science lab, I like to relax.

Either with a spot of skydiving over the planet Mars,

bobbing for fire-breathing robot piranhas,

or a bit of cooking. Crazy, I know.

A monkey cooking, who'd have thunk it?

I've arranged for three team members to rest their giant science brains

and help me make some lovely tomato sauce

for our spaghetti dinner later.

Only difference is, I've replaced the passata food blender

with a nice wooden mallet.

What can possibly go wrong?

You say tomato, I say tom-messy.

So, when the random sound of Dr Brain goes...

"WHACK!", all three team members must hit their tomatoes

as fast as they can. BOSH!

We will then play it back in slow motion

and the first person to strike their tomatoes wins.

Here we go!

Ready?

Whack!

Oh...

Eurgh!

Lovely.

Whoppa-lotta action there in the kitchen.

Look at them go! But whose mashing mallet was fastest?

It's impossible to tell.

Well, there's only one way to be sure.

Activate the slow-monizer!

Three cracking cooks, but who will be the Masterchef?

Ah, look, Dr Parisa definitely reacts the quickest there.

Her marvellous mallet action

leaving Doctors Nia and Nathan in the cold.

So close but we can see that the winner was...

Blue!

Yes, Blue, you literally smashed it.

Ha-ha-ha! Ten points for you.

It's the final of Monkeychef,

and Dr Brain is making Hagian Fish Stew,

with fish bits, other fish bits and a fishy jus.

Now, when I'm on my holidays on the Planet Hag,

I do like a spot of camping, but the water there is very polluted

on account of the trumping fish

making the rivers and the streams all very trumpy.

So, I need to find scientific ways of making the water more

refreshing-tasting and less toilet-flushy.

So, can the teams come up with ingenious ways to filter

the water using the various objects on their tables?

Our water is polluted with medium,

small and tiny impurities.

With paper, ribbons, glitter

and food colouring, which is the closest thing we could find

to Hagian fish trumps.

Kind of like an arts and crafts nappy explosion.

So, teams, you need to choose three materials

to form three different layers for your filter.

And you will have three minutes to design and build your filters,

and then we'll see which of the three teams' recurring theme

can make our water the cleanest.

Right, well, you guys had better get building.

-Are you ready?

-Yes!

Your time starts...now!

THEY CONFER

The teams need to think about which three materials

will be best for their filter.

Because I've just made a big hole down there, so I've pushed it in.

The best materials are those that will trap the impurities

but not the water.

And our teams need to be careful that their filters don't get blocked

and stop the water from flowing at all.

Let's hope their brain juices are flowing in the right direction.

A-ha-ha! You see what I did there? O-ho-ho!

THEY CONFER

And that's time up, everybody, that's time up.

Stop building, stop thinking, stop planning, stop designing.

So, you all think you've come up with a great plan to make

your coloured water emerge all clear and pure, do you?

Everybody thinks they've done well.

Well, shall we give it a go? Greens, you're up first.

-So, that's cotton wool. That is sand.

-Yeah, sand.

-And...

-That's a sieve.

-..a sieve.

So you've only got quite small amounts of cotton wool

and sand there. Do you think that's going to be enough?

-You're hoping so.

-Hopefully.

-No, we know so.

-You know so.

He thinks he knows so, but I'm...

-He think he knows so.

-Yeah.

You think you know that he knows

what you know, I think he knows you think so.

-Yeah.

-There you go, that's clear, isn't it?

This is the original liquid

and that's what we've got to use to compare with.

Now, this is what is known in scientific terms as a control.

Now I'm going to take some of the Hagian fish water

from here, like this, and here we go.

I'm going to use your filter and see what happens to the water.

Ya-da-da-da-da-da-da.

Oh, there is stuff coming through, though.

It's just starting to filter through.

I think that's probably enough.

Now what we're going to do is dispense your water into your glass.

You see, it's not really about amount either, that's fine,

it's all about the purity. So, let's have a look.

Now, then, can you see in your glass

any of the medium items?

-The paper, ribbon and stuff like that?

-No.

-No?

Tick!

Can you see any of the smaller items?

-The glitter, stuff like that?

-No.

Tick!

And then when it comes to the colour,

I guess we'll only really know when we see how the other teams do.

So why don't we? Let's see how the Blues do.

-Get in.

-Talk me through it.

So, we have put the coffee filters at the bottom.

-Yes.

-All three of them.

-All three of them?

-Yeah.

We've put some sand in there

and then we've used this as kind of like a sieve for all of them.

-Ah.

-So, like, the big and little things.

Actify the filtration - no, hang on...

-Shall we see it in action?

-Let's do it.

-Yes.

Let's try placing your filter on top of the dispensing jar,

here, like so.

Now the water is going in.

-There's something coming through the bottom, there...

-Oh, my God!

-..which means it's working.

-Look at that! Get in!

Stevi's getting very excited about this.

-That is really...

-It started off clear.

-It did start off clear.

-It did, yeah.

It's coming out quite quick as well.

To be fair, that's actually not bad.

-You're pretty pleased with yourself, aren't you?

-Yeah.

Control with compare... Oh, you know what I mean.

Let's now dispense into the glass...

That is a lot clearer than theirs. Not being funny.

Now, it's all about comparing with the control here, you see.

Now, are there any bits of paper, etc, in there?

-Nothing in there.

-Nothing at all.

-Nuffink, mate!

-Is there any glitter, ribbon, any of that sort of...?

-Nothing, no.

Nuffink, mate!

When it comes to the colour of the water, we'll only know

when the Yellows have played. Let's see 'em!

Access les materiels!

And what have you made for me?

A filter, like you asked us to.

Ha! Good, well done. You win!

No. But how does it work?

Well, we've got, like,

the cotton wool to get rid of the food colouring...

-Yes?

-Then, we've got this cloth for the glitter,

and the sieve for the ribbon and the paper bits.

Activez la filtration!

We are going to give the water a good, vigorous stir.

Smells of trumpy fish water, doesn't it? Absolutely disgusting.

Get my jug...

That's pretty much a litre, isn't it?

Right, here we go.

-HE HUMS A TUNE

-In it goes.

Now, that's coming out very quickly through the bottom, isn't it?

Very nicely. It's a quick working filter.

Ah, interesting!

Pretty much all the water has gone through there very, very quickly.

Comparez avec controle!

Now, the moment of truth, folks. Let's pour this in...

Da-ta-da-ta-da-ta-da...

That's enough, I don't want to overfill it, do we?

There we go. So, having a look.

-Now then. Any paper?

-No.

-No.

Any ribbons, any glitter, any stuff like that?

-Um...

-Um...

Tiny, tiny little bits of something in there, isn't there?

Ah, unfortunate!

And when it comes to the colour,

we won't find out until we look at all three.

So, let's have a look at how all three teams did!

So, of course, everybody got all the paper out, well done,

all the big items.

Yellows, unfortunately, of course, some glitter slipped through,

so I'm afraid that puts you out of the running.

And on closer inspection, Blues, I'm afraid some glitter got

through yours as well, we didn't notice it at first,

because it was all spinning around, but now that it's settled,

some has floated to the top, some glitter came through, and in

terms of colour, the clearest and lightest

is quite clearly the Greens'.

Their filter of tightly packed cotton wool, sand

and a sieve trapped the impurities and resulted in the cleanest water.

While some food colouring seeped through,

the Greens managed to block the glitter, paper and ribbon.

Great job!

Which means the Greens get 10 points and are the winners, well done!

-Yes!

-Yes!

So, the Brilliant Brains are getting

closer to Only The Stevi's colossal 22 points.

Anyone can still win, although I think maybe the Super Geeks

might struggle with their little, itsy-bitsy 2.

Think of the honour, team!

-Ready, GP?

-Ready, DB!

Hands on the desks. Two points for each correct answer.

Nothing, not even a mouldy biscuit, for an incorrect one. Let's do this!

The words, "Houston, we have a problem,"

were famously spoken on which NASA mission?

Blue!

-Apollo 13.

-Correct!

Where is the South Pole - Antarctica or Iceland?

-Green!

-Um... Antarctica.

-Correct!

-How many legs, in total, does a penguin and a fly have?

-Blue!

-Eight.

Correct! A typical adult human has 206 what in their body?

-Yellow!

-Bones.

Is correct.

What term is given to a piece of rock or metal from space

that reaches the surface of the Earth?

-Green!

-Meteorite.

That's correct.

The kiwi bird is native to which country?

-Yellow.

-New Zealand.

Is correct.

We are out of time!

There we go.

That was incredible, folks. What speed, what dexterity!

Your minds were buzzing and bursting, but who was the fastest?

Who was the best? Let's find out. It's the results!

I'm nervous, aren't you, GP?

-I'm very nervous.

-Oh-ho-ho!

In third place, with six points,

it's the Yellow Team!

-CHEERING

-Well played!

Well played. In second place, with 18 points,

it's the Green Team!

-CHEERING

-18, pretty good there,

but our Ultimate Brain winners,

with a massive 24 points,

from the X Factor, it's the Blues!

CHEERING

They did a great job, didn't they, Dr Brain?

Yeah, they all did a fantastic job, GP.

Especially well done to our winners,

who cleverly fought their way to victory.

If it's honour you're after,

then it's Ultimate Brain honour you've won.

Salute your victors, teams!

See you next time for more brain-expanding,

excellent experiments on...

Ultimate Brain!