Episode 16 WHOOPS I MISSED THE BUS

Welcome to Whoops I Missed The Bus!

Prepare to witness a whole week of CBBC,

shaken up, stirred about and squirted straight back at you.

Can anyone tell me what is going on here?

It was a clue! I'm in the character!

What's been making you livid?

Yonko's terrible dance moves.

Cheeky. And what's up with Ed Petrie?

Go away. Oh! How did you do that?

Don't know the answer to any of those questions? We're in luck.

Our resident video bloggers Lauren and Myles have all the CBBC gossip

and they are desperate to spill the beans.

If you want the lowdown on CBBC, you have come to the right place.

Take it easy round the bend, Driver.

If vlogging be the food of love,

then keep...talking. Here's Myles!

Marrying Mum And Dad is a show

where you organise your mum and dad's wedding. I did that,

but I didn't mean specifically you. You're not organising the wedding.

Unless you've been on the show.

Don't be getting worried thinking, "I've got to organise a wedding?!

"Just watching CBBC and now I've got a wedding on my hands."

The girls' ideas mean this will be a wedding like no other.

One wedding is underwater, which is fun. But what about the cake?

A floating wedding cake, all mashed up in the water.

Help yourself to some wedding cake, it's floating all round you.

There's some. It's delicious, and wet.

-My mum doesn't like getting cold.

-It doesn't bother you, then?

-No.

Brilliant. Do the wedding in water. A wedding underwater is pretty extreme.

It did inspire me to make a list of other possible wedding locations.

Like a volcano. "It'll be nice and hot, I promise you. Maybe too hot.

"Bring sun cream. Everybody bring sun cream."

Some other good wedding locations -

jumping out of a plane? Adds the element of risk to a wedding day.

Trying to put a ring on her hand as you fly through the sky.

"Do you take this man as your husband?" "Yes, sure. Aagh!"

Just hoping somewhere along the way that you got married. Where else?

Space? A wedding in space.

"You may now kiss. Don't take your helmets off, though. Too late."

"OK. Back to Earth."

So now you are going to travel in style

across the ocean to the wedding of your dreams.

"Transport is important, I agree.

"But I was thinking of maybe just walking there.

"I would have got you a car for the most special day in your life,

"but I did have to rent a volcano,

"and volcanoes aren't that cheap to rent.

"I did get you some trainers though."

A beautiful white wedding dress, trainers.

"Not many people can pull that look off, Mum."

"Probably shouldn't have worn white if we're going in a volcano.

"Don't worry, backup plan, we're going in the sky. Your parachutes."

To see more Marrying Mum And Dad,

stick around for a behind-the-scenes special.

But now it's time to find out what's been making you livid.

What makes me livid is that Hacker!

Hacker keeps on talking about meat paste

and he says that he's awesome at his show.

Well, he's not!

Everyone knows that brand-new, hilarious,

and better-than-ever-before Hacker Time, series four,

is coming up in a couple of minutes.

I don't think they need you banging on about it

every waking minute of every single day.

They're always repeating the shows again and again.

Livid.

The thing that makes me livid on CBBC see is Yonko's terrible dance moves.

# Come and get your love. #

He needs to get some talent.

What's wrong with my dance moves, eh? I'm livid myself now.

Anyhow, who wants to go behind the scenes of Marrying Mum And Dad?

I do. Do you get it? That's what they say at weddings, isn't it?

Very important. You can't have a wedding without flowers. Atchoo!

Or hay fever.

This is proper behind-the-scenes. We're hiding all this away.

Have a look at this.

This looks a bit of a mess as well, but it will look great.

We're having a Spanish wedding. This is very important.

The Marrying Mum And Dad bin.

Very underrated bins.

How many weddings have you been to where there wasn't a bin? Exactly.

I wonder if Dodge is in there. Dodge, are you in there?

While Ed is showing you the bin,

the girls are putting the final touches to their decorations.

-On TV, you just see...

-Everything is shortened.

-Yes, and you have to actually do a lot more.

-It is really exciting.

We're planning everything.

The venue is almost ready for a wedding.

There is loads going on, everybody is pitching in, but where's Ed?

Classy threads. Rocking venue. Let's get this wedding started! Arriba!

Guests. Need guests. I knew there was something.

One thing we can't bring is the Spanish weather.

The bid day must go on regardless.

Hey! We're on the way!

Everyone is set. It is time for a wedding.

-Do you, Linda, take Anthony to be your husband?

-I do.

-Do you, Anthony, take Linda to be your wife?

-I do.

It is with the greatest pleasure

that I know pronounce you husband and wife.

Now that the soppy stuff is over, we can have a big party.

You can open your eyes now cos it's the Spanish Street Party Fiesta!

MUSIC: "Bamboleo" by the Gypsy Kings

'Top dancing, girls. And the guitar player is pretty good too!'

It's almost the end of the summer holidays - boo! -

and you may be running out of things to do,

so I thought I'd review a CBBC game.

This one is All At Breakfast, where you get the All At Sea characters

to run around a bed-and-breakfast serving customers.

Hang on a second, is that...? It is!

It's Will Smith! That is Will Smith!

One of the things I found really funny about this game is

when Ben delivers the food.

He sets it down in front of the customer

and he ends up lurking behind them.

It's a bit off-putting, trying to tuck into your breakfast

and there's someone just stood there hovering.

It's a bit weird... You all right?

The best thing about this game is the way that the customers eat.

I've never seen such a bunch of pigs. Look at them. Shovelling it back.

Didn't their mum and dad ever tell them how to use a knife and fork?

Imagine doing that in a posh restaurant!

So that's the All At Breakfast game. It is well addictive.

My highest score is around the 8,000 mark, don't want to boast, but...

What?! 7 million?! Unbelievable.

The Dog Ate My Homework is a quiz show.

It's like I was going to break into a rap. The dog ate my homework...

Never going to do that again.

The Dog Ate My Homework is a quiz show, not dogs having papery snacks.

The dog ate my homework is an odd phrase.

One day, somebody will go into class without having their homework

and their dog has genuinely eaten it.

"Where is your homework, Timmy?" "I'm really sorry, but my dog..."

And just outside the window, the dog is standing there...

"My dad... My dad ate my homework!" "Your dad ate your homework?" "Yes!"

Back to the show. The Dog Ate My Homework is a different sort of show.

There is a character called Mr Smash, who is a bit strange.

And by a bit strange, I mean he just growls at everything.

Doesn't actually say anything, just a growl here and there.

Rarrrr!

"What's Myles doing?" "Dancing."

Is this dancing, or is this just an energetic wave? Hello.

School disco. I don't get that bit.

School disco!

MUSIC: "We No Speak Americano" by Yolanda Be Cool

They all just break into dance in the middle of the show.

Problem is, school discos don't tend to happen in the middle of lessons.

You're in science class, "Welcome to science class,

"today, we'll be learning about science." "Really?"

"Everybody start to dance! Mind the Bunsen burners."

It doesn't happen. A Dog Ate My Homework -

no dogs ate your actual homework, inaccurate school discos.

I think they can make it up in the second series.

Iain, the host, is very funny. But maybe get a dog.

Don't worry about him learning lines. Look at Hacker, he's pretty good.

-What's your word, Jack?

-Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

In another part of the show, the audience give Iain words

rand the teams have to work that into a homework excuse.

I had some apricots, and they were Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

That's how I would describe them.

-If you say it loud enough, it almost sounds precocious.

-Ohh!

I was pretty good in school.

There was only one time I made an excuse for not handing in homework.

"Where's your homework?" "I know this is going to sound very silly,

"and I know it's the name of a CBBC programme, but my dog ate..."

The dog is by the window...

"My dad ate it!" "Your dad ate your homework?"

"Yeah! Yeah... OK, it was my dog!"

"OK, yes, a lot of people have had that problem.

"The dog outside the window has been eating everyone's homework.

"Don't worry about it. Sit down." "OK, cool."

The Dog Ate My Homework?! That's a good one!

Next you'll be saying that my dog watches CBBC. Pull the other one!

"I will not watch Blue Peter! I will not. Not, not, not.

"There's another dog on there that's not me! Why should I watch it?!

"You can't make me. I won't. Don't make me watch it."

"I love it! It's just super. I'm smitten like a kitten.

"Oh! I did a funny! Yes!"

"And those Scooby snacks, they are real, right? I want them!

"I want them now! I need them! I must have them!"

"You do realise you're trying to film me watching

"Whoops I Missed The Bus?

"Well, you could have picked a better show. It's just not happening."

If your pet goes bonkers for Blue Peter or any other CBBC show,

go to the website and search "pet" to get them on the telly.

OK. Stop what you're doing and pay attention.

If you are already paying attention, then...open your eyes a bit wider.

It's time for some of our bestest bits.

TRIES TO SPEAK FRENCH

-Do you make cakes?

-Yes.

-Could you make one that looks like the Eiffel Tower?

-Yes.

-Really?

-We need it for a wedding in a couple of weeks.

-OK, that's all right.

Je t'aime, monsieur! Je t'aime!

-Naomi Wilkinson...

-Yeah?

-Will you...?

Naomi Wilkinson, will you...?

-Naomi Wilkinson, will you... give me some advice?

-What?

I want to ask the jam lady to marry me.

Oh, no, no, no. Certainly not,

you grubby little mutt! You'll get fur in my jams.

Tenpin bowling.

Get off my desk! Get off my desk!

I'm looking for a nice man. Cos I'm a nice woman.

Hello, Mrs T Dog. I am David. I would love to take you out on a date.

A little bit about myself. I love to buff.

There's nothing I would rather do than buff.

Oh, come on, Naomi.

For someone with a serious phobia, like me,

the first few minutes are truly terrifying.

HE SINGS

I've run out of lyrics, Karim! By jingo, I need more lyrics!

Sounds like a doggy download to me!

Oh!

-It looked better in rehearsal.

-E-mail at...

Music was the only class, he was allowed in

and this was taught by someone who changed his life forever, Tim Smith.

Dizzee actually thanked you on his first album. How did that feel?

I was gobsmacked. I felt so humbled that he would thank me for...

I think the expression was keeping the faith, even when times got grim.

He's going to try and walk. There he goes. He's down. But he's not out.

-Get up! Get up!

-You tell him.

-Come on, get up.

He's nearly there. He's done it.

This week, I'm going to share my Next Step information so quickly

that nobody's going to be able to stop me. Here we go.

The big news is that the first episode will air on September 10th.

I said the 10th of September!

Hello? Anyone going to cut me off or...?

Right. Then I might as well tell you that...

And that is how we roll.

Another week of CBBC squeezed like a sardine into the tin of TV delights.

We'll be back next weekend, but if you can't wait until then,

check out CBBC iPlayer. Now, has anybody seen a bus?

Argh!