Episode 17 WHOOPS I MISSED THE BUS


Episode 17

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This is Whoops I Missed The Bus!

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Get ready for an entire week of CBBC shrink wrapped

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and vacuum-packed for your very eyeballs!

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So did you miss any of this?

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MUSIC: "Gangnam Style" by Psy

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What's this guy's problem?

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And I shall devour them all!

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And what has Dodge done now?

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I forgot about Dave Lime.

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BLENDER WHIRRS

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If that's got your attention then stick around

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because our video bloggers Lauren and Myles

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have been watching CBBC morning, noon and night,

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and they're here to give you the verdict.

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I've seen so much CBBC it hurts!

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Right, settle down, class, settle down!

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It's time for our first teacher...

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I mean, vlogger, sorry. It's Lauren!

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'If you've ever wondered what secondary school's like,

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'here's your chance to find out.'

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So this is Our School,

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and it's something that CBBC have never done before.

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Basically, they've rigged up loads of cameras so that we at home can see

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everything that goes on when you go from Year Six into Year Seven,

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so I really like this show, it's a really cool idea.

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But it must be a bit weird having cameras watching you all day long.

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Like, what if you get caught doing something you shouldn't?

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I'm just glad that no cameras were filming me when I was in Year Seven.

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-BELL RINGS

-'3, A, X from 11,

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'W, X squared Y,

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'and it's also part of the second term.

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'Terms that do not have a sign list in front of them

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'are understood to be positive.

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'Below are several examples that are not expressions.

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X + .Y. This statement...'

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One of the big concerns that you have when you're leaving Year Six is that

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you're going to lose all your best friends.

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I think I'll feel really scared, quite self-conscious,

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and worry a bit, cos I won't be with my friends.

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But do you know what?

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I am happy to report that one of my best friends today is my mate Kim,

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and we've been best friends ever since primary school.

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MUSIC: "Gangnam Style" by Psy

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Ah, I remember our Year Six Prom.

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Me and Kim were the coolest kids that night.

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I mean, we looked fierce!

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What's that? Photo from the night?

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Er, no, er, no, just,

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I dropped my camera down the toilet.

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Yeah, waterlogged, actually, yeah. No photos.

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No photos from that night.

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But the main worry I had about going to secondary school was the uniform!

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-Like it?

-Wow.

-That looks good.

-That looks good.

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That's very good, turn around.

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When I was starting in Year Seven,

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I was roughly the size of a garden gnome, and now I'm...

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roughly the size of a garden gnome.

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And the problem was my mum bought me, like, the world's largest blazer.

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And the problem with that was that I didn't grow into it for years!

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I literally spent, like, five years not being able to do,

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like, everyday normal stuff like drinking a bottle of water!

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People were starting to wonder whether I was a human or a seal!

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See? Useless.

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Go on, then, laugh it up, yeah...

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So embarrassing.

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-NARRATOR LAUGHS

-Oh, nice photo, Lozza!

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Oh, don't know why I'm laughing.

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You want to see my school photos.

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They used to make me LIVID! Speaking of which,

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what's been making you LIVID about CBBC this week?

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The Worst Year of My Life Again, the series has ended. I'm LIVID!

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Never, ever trust a tap on April Fools Day, Alex.

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Someone will have rigged it.

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Someone will have rigged it, and that was me!

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I rigged the water fountain!

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What?!

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CBBC finishes at seven, and sometimes I don't get home

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till after seven when I'm doing activities,

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and it makes me LIVID!

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The thing that makes me livid about CBBC is that on Pop Slam,

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they have cardboard cut outs of the superstars.

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I mean, why can't they just try at least to have the real pop stars?

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Oh, no way, it's One Direction!

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SHE SCREAMS

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Ooh, what an angry lot!

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Send us your vids to the usual address

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and your lividness could appear right here very soon!

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Now it's time to see what happened when Dodge met Mary Berry!

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And believe me, it's not good!

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On your marks, get set, bake.

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-Hello, Dodge.

-Oh, hi!

-How are you feeling? All right?

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Slightly damp. Very hungry.

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Well, you're on the right show for that.

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-So, what are you doing for us today?

-I'm going to make Flan a la Dodge!

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-So, Dodgy Flan?

-Flan a la Dodge!

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Everyone from the CBBC office has given me the ingredients.

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What, like flour and egg, butter, sugar?

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-No, Hacker gave me this old jar of meat paste.

-Mm.

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-The Jam Lady gave me this jar of green jam.

-Yeah.

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And Dave Olives gave me...

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-Olives?

-No, I think he's got a pet rabbit. Yeuch!

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Anyway, look, I brought the freshest, finest ingredients

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all the way from down the bins.

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Oh, look at that, how cute!

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You've brought your own little mascot for moral support.

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-There he is, look at him.

-Oh, yeah! I forgot about Dave Lime!

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BLENDER WHIRRS

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Ah, smells amazing!

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OK, guys, you've got two minutes left!

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I'd better get decorating! Ha-ha!

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OK, bakers, that's it, your time is up!

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Please step away from your benches.

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'This is the last time they will face James and Mary.

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'Now their cakes will be judged on their ideas, presentation and taste.'

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I have to be honest with you, Dodge.

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It's a bit rubbish.

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Aww, thanks, you're too kind.

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As I suspected.

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A soggy bottom.

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Yeah, sorry, Yonko made me a curry last night. Heh-heh.

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'Dodge's flan may look rubbish,

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'but what will James and Mary make of its flavours?

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'Grotty garbage or baking brilliance?'

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I have to say, Dodge...

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..it isn't a flan.

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-It is a triumph! It's delicious!

-Well done.

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So, the winner of Junior Bake-Off is...

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..Dodge T Dog!

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-Yeah!

-Well done, old boy!

-Aww, thanks!

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-The new Bake Off champion!

-Yeah!

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I'm very pleased to...

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JAMES BURPS

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Eurgh, gross.

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Eurgh, to, to win this trophy, and...

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BELLIES RUMBLE

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AARON BREAKS WIND

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Oh, no. And, er, although I richly deserve it,

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you have all been food poisoned!

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Er, right, that's it, I'm out of here.

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It's been an honour and a privilege for you!

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I am Dodge T Dog, Junior Bake Off champion!

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Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, good night.

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Yesterday, I sat down to eat my breakfast whilst watching

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an episode of Wizards vs Aliens.

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GUNGE SPLOSHES

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I'll leave that. Leave that till later.

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So Wizards vs Aliens is basically about

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the ongoing battle between the Nekross...

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Launch the Tracker Bots!

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..they're the aliens, and the wizards.

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HE YELLS SPELL

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They're the wizards. I'm watching it going,

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"Guys, let's not fight. Let's be friends."

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I shall come and I shall devour them all!

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All right, yeah, sure, maybe not.

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If you like Doctor Who,

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then I think you'll also really like Wizards vs Aliens as well.

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He likes it. The show's got everything.

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It's got wizards, it's got aliens, it's got wizards again.

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Not everything, that's two things, close to everything.

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Wizards vs Aliens is a great combo.

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Some other great combos, Wizards vs A Lion.

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Wizards vs Alan,

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just a man called Alan. Who's better?

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Lizards vs Aliens.

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Blizzards vs Aliens, just the aliens doing a weather report.

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Wizards vs Aliens?

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That sounds good, do that one. That one sounds like an actual show.

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I did notice one of the aliens looks like a weird, massive,

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speaking Yorkshire pudding with a face.

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And now we shall feast as never before.

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I have a plan.

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Two eyes and a mouth, King of the Nekross.

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That's put me off, actually.

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Good, now I'll finish my bowl of cereal.

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Have no fear,

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I am ever scrupulous in harvesting its refined juice.

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Oh, OK, yeah, and that's happened again.

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I'm just going to move onto lunch now, you can have that.

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LAUREN: 'Marrying Mum And Dad,

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where the kids get to organise their parents' wedding!

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It's funny, actually,

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cos I actually organised my parents' wedding, yeah...

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It was a nightmare.

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I chose the theme "bins."

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Mum was furious! Ooh, yeah.

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Walking down the aisle in a bin bag, leftover pizza crust for dinner,

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and as for the entertainment?

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Well, we just watched two scabby rats have a dance off.

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Dad loved it!

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So, as you know, in this show, the kids have to organise

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the transport for their parents to get to the wedding.

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Forget posh cars, forget limousines, forget horse and carriages.

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Actually, keep the horse, stick a hump on it.

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-How are they going to get there?

-Erm, camels.

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-Camels!

-Camels.

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-Camels.

-We need a camel shop.

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'A camel shop?! Do they even exist?!''

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Yeah, there's one down the road!

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And if you buy two you get a free pack of wet wipes.

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That was in the eye that time, Humphrey!

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So, the kids in Marrying Mum And Dad

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are, like, ridiculously good at organising weddings.

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-What we want is we want really heavy embroidering at the top.

-Oh, right.

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Although we don't want it looking like...

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Yeah, but we don't want it looking like fire.

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'Looking like fire?

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'Always a good idea not to have a wedding dress

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'that looks like it's ablaze!'

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I'd be rubbish! I'm so, so forgetful!

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I'd probably, like, forget to pick up the cake,

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I'd probably forget to bring the rings. In fact...

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We are gathered here today

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to celebrate the wedding of John and Sheila.

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But unfortunately they're nowhere to be seen.

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I assume the person who organised this remembered

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to invite the actual bride and groom!

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SHE LAUGHS

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From Marrying Mum And Dad to The Dumping Ground,

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I know some pets who love a bit of CBBC!

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It's this lot!

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'You want me to watch CBBC? Course I will! I'm watching ya!

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'Placed your fingers on the lens! I don't know why I bother!'

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'What am I meant to do, then?

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'Watch the telly for Whoops I Missed The Bus?

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'But I'm a dog! I don't watch telly, don't you get it?

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'You're crazy, man!'

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'Dogs on the telly? Come off it! What next?

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'Talking dogs on the telly?!

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'Gone crackers, modern society!

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'Completely crackers, I tell you!'

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'Bear Behaving Badly?!

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'This show's almost as old as me,

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'and I'm 109 years old!'

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If you want your pet to have their moment of fame

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then go to the website and search "Pet" for all the details.

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OK, who's got two minutes and some highlights?

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This guy!

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Settle down and prepare to give your eyeballs a treat,

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because it's time for some of our best bits, baby.

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It's going so fast around the corners,

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the tyres are going, "E-e-e-rgh!"

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'This daredevil has even got time to throw in a few cool skids

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'for good measure.'

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Hooray! Look, it's been designed by Francesca, and I love it, look!

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-How cool is this?!

-It's the real thing!

-It's genuine!

-Woo-hoo!

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I really do hope my mum won't embarrass me

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when I get to the, erm, school tomorrow because as soon as

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I get out of the car she'll probably either try to hug me or kiss me.

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As you're the guest of honour, Miss Adolf!

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Marvellous.

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Wow.

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Oh, now that's really raw.

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Ah, Vera, I don't think you're the right woman for the job, cocker.

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"VERA" LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY

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I think you're right there, love, I'll see you later.

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Here we go, hands up, and I can't get out! I've got stuck! No!

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OK, I'm out of the car, come on, Radzi. Get across quickly, mate!

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OK, so a bit slower than Sam, I think. I've got back in. Arms go up.

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Buckle in, seat belt in, done!

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MUSIC: "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" by Cyndi Lauper

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-HACKER SINGS ALONG

-Hey! Oi!

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Oh, girls just want to have fun!

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Guys, it's just five days until the new episodes of The Next Step,

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and I've managed to find an exclusive clip.

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This is what we've all been waiting for!

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-I had to do this to protect myself.

-Protect yourself? Really?

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Is that what E Girls do, protect themselves or protect each other?

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Why did we even make this group?

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Why did we even make E Girls

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if we were all just going to fend for ourselves?

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Like, not only did Emily lose her captaincy,

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but now Emily and me lost a friend!

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And so did you, you lost too!

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Great Scott, that looked good! But it's all we've got time for.

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We'll be back next weekend to put another week of CBBC under the

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microscope, but if you can't wait till then, check out CBBC iPlayer.

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Now, where's me bus? Oh, honestly, it's not funny any more!

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