Episode 2 WHOOPS I MISSED THE BUS

Whoops, I Missed The Bus, the creme de la creme of CBBC

whipped up into a TV feast for your very eyes.

Missed the new episode of Strange Hill High? Never fear!

CHICKEN CLUCKS AND GIRL GASPS

How are you feeling now that Stevey B is back?

Whoa-ho-ho-ho! Amazing!

And what is Dodge up to?

-I'm a dog!

-We're all dogs!

Don't ask me what's going on.

But luckily our resident CBBC video bloggers, Myles and Lauren,

are on the case and are desperate to give you the lowdown.

-We won't be holding back.

-No way.

All aboard! Nee-ee-o-ow!

Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present our first vlogger,

Myles!

Strange Hill High is a school where all sorts of wacky things happen.

I meant wacky as in random. Why are you hitting me?!

# Be prepared, can't wait for 3.30

# See you there! #

So there is a lot of strange things that happen at Strange Hill.

You've got weird plant things.

Squidgy, my baby!

You've got spaceships.

Flying saucers!

But forget aliens and weird plants.

When I was at school I accidentally locked myself in the school toilet...

for four hours, four, four hours.

Then the teachers had to remove the door because,

"We haven't seen Miles in four hours, check the toilets.

"Miles, you in here?" "Yeah, been in here for four hours."

"Are you OK?" "Yeah, I'm fine, the door was just not opening."

Two hours in I was thinking about crawling out underneath the

toilet door but I was wearing a white shirt.

Which one's more strange -

Alien invasion of Earth or making a toilet cubicle your new home?

If aliens do visit, like they do in Strange Hill High...

Can we please get on with our invasion?

Fine, let me show you around.

..I don't know how I'd introduce them to humans, just,

"Hello, nice to meet you. I'm happy, I'm waving."

And then they invade Earth because on their planet waving's rude.

Well done, Mars, you've doomed us all.

The aliens want to eat Templeton.

I zoomed in, dramatic.

"How To Serve Templeton, a cookbook featuring roast Templeton,

"Templeton pie, bangers and Temp, Tempshire pudding!"

Templeton, they've come to eat you, and in a very tasty fashion!

He's my favourite character.

I think it's the glasses, we could bond over

seeing the world in slightly less detail than everyone else.

-What's going on here?

-Nothing.

EXPLOSION

So that is Strange Hill High.

If you like wacky things then you might like... No, not again.

Stuck in a toilet? For four hours?!

He must have been livid!

But what makes you livid about CBBC?

Pray tell us all about it!

What makes me livid is all of Chris's terrible jokes.

CHRIS WHIMPERS

-SQUEAKY VOICE:

-Hello, I'm Murphy, and I want to hear the book talk

because he doesn't talk and it's boring.

DODGE CHUCKLES He's shy!

My name's Aisha, and the thing that makes me livid is, erm,

when Yonko does stupid things.

Agh! Bank Holiday Benny here and I'm easily frightened!

All right, calm down, you angry lot! Ooh!

Now, Dot Com has been dealing with even more lividness

over in the CBBC post room.

Ah, another fine day surveying e-mails from the good CBBC viewers.

Here's one. "Dear CBBC, why do you always insist on

"making fun of Katie Thistleton's singing?"

"Dear viewer, I tend to agree with you.

"She has sung many a tune in the CBBC office to great effect."

# It's the weekend, don't you know?

# It's time to put on a show... #

"I suppose she's a bit off key. I mean, well, quite a lot, actually.

"I mean, look, let's be honest, it's not great. In fact, it's terrible.

"There, I've said it! Truly awful!

"Truly, truly awful!

"It sounds like a cement mixer

"or a small child playing a violin on a jet aeroplane on take-off!

"She must be stopped for all of our sakes! I simply can't take any more!

"Good day to you!"

Oi, driver! Stop the bus, will you?

It's time for a Strange Hill special

with a furry little mutt called Dodge.

BELL RINGS

We have lots in store for you this year.

Maths, science, a weird teacher, Medieval superheroes,

and maybe, if there's still time, a nice little bit of certain doom!

Certain doom is my favourite.

It's much better than uncertain doom,

which can hardly be called doom at all.

I can't believe I'm actually in a Strange Hill High classroom.

This is so cool.

That's how I roll, Dodge, so stick with me.

I'm ice cool. Wah!

HE CLATTERS TO THE GROUND

Heh-heh, cool trick, eh?

I call that my "falling out of chair accidentally on purpose, er,

"trick thingy." And I nailed it!

-Wow!

-What do you think you're doing?

-Well, right now, I'm standing here talking to you.

-Tight.

I say, you're one of HIS little friends. I'm not going to like you.

-Your name!

-Dodge.

-Dodge what?

I'm faster than you think, hairy boy.

I'm Dodge, I'm a dog!

Of course you are, I'm a dog too, we're all dogs!

Look at me being a dog! I'm Mitchell and I can play woof-woof!

My name's Steve Backshall.

And my name's Lauren Layfield.

And this is Deadly Pole to Pole.

And this is my vlog!

And you're coming with me every step of the way!

And you're... I mean, you're probably just going to,

you know, join me for a matter of minutes, really.

I mean, we're not going to go on, like,

a massive adventure or anything like that.

All right, Steve, fine!

Your life is definitely more deadly than mine!

That's right, Stevey B is back...

..and front and his arms and his legs and his feet.

Why hasn't that man got enough, like, jumpers and socks?

Steve, mate, you've forgotten to put your anorak on again!

How many times do I have to tell you?

Oh, oh, no. How embarrassing.

Look at my muscles, though.

I love Deadly Pole to Pole, it is

one of my favourite shows on CBBC, and the main reason for that is

because Stevey B always gets so excited when he's finding animals.

Whoa-ho-ho-ho! Amazing! Wow!

Like, imagine if we got that excited all of the time?

Wow!

Look at it!

Look at that!

But the one thing I do not like about Deadly Pole to Pole is

when Steve does this!

There she is. Most of what they feed on are lizards, frogs...

-People?!

-..things like crickets and cockroaches.

Oh. I mean, still, though, they're horrible.

In fact, here is a list of...

'Hang out with Jedward for a whole week without sleep.

'Accidentally call a teacher Mum.

'Wash the dishes after a Sunday lunch.

'Watch paint dry.' No, still wet.

Listen to my dad's music.

MUSIC: "Two Hearts" by Phil Collins

All of those things, and I mean all of those things,

I would rather do than be handling a spider with Stevey B.

All of them... What?

But my favourite creature seen so far on this series of

Deadly Pole to Pole is by far this.

With its fluffy grey fur,

its super sensitive hearing,

and a weird random man attached to the other end.

The camera crew's microphone is slightly, slightly,

just a bit.

So those are my thoughts on Deadly Pole to Pole.

Love the show, but maybe Stevey B should just cover it up a bit.

The Next Step is the worst thing I've ever seen.

And I can't stop watching it.

All of the episodes, back-to-back, finished them in a day.

I skipped lunch and dinner, and I love lunch and dinner.

They dance a lot, they love it, but I'm watching it going,

"Are they OK? Is he OK?"

I don't know if they're in pain or if they're swatting away a fly.

Emily's group of dancers are called the E Girls.

Everyone wants to be us,

and it's a great feeling.

What does the E stand for, annoying?

Begins with an A, doesn't it?

E-nnoying, then. Ooh, hang on, my phone's ringing. Hello?

Why don't you like The Next Step?!

And in the E Girls there is a lot of rules. Too many.

E Girl Rule Number One, you always have another E Girl's back.

Yeah, it's a rule.

I thought Rule Number One was be annoying.

Ohhhhhhh!

They hang out in a juice bar.

They just break into dance in the middle of the juice bar.

Can't be doing that, just popping down the shop,

break dancing down the fruit aisle knocking things over!

People are trying to shop around me, it's chaos.

"Cleanup in Aisle Three and Four,

"someone did a triple backflip and all the melons are everywhere."

A guy called Eldon always asks Emily out - a lot.

My relationship with Emily is pretty simple.

I really like her, she really doesn't like me.

And Emily always says no,

which is completely fine, but he can't leave it.

Every day, "Emily, d'you want to go out?" "No."

"Emily, d'you...?" "No!"

"Emily, d'you...?" "No!"

"Emily...?" "No! "Em...?" "No!" Just leave it!

-I mean, I get it. But come on.

-Emily should put on a fireworks display.

Fireworks go up, wow!

Just spells out, "No.

"Eldon, stop asking me out."

All in fireworks, I don't know how she's going to do that.

That's a lot of them. As well as being dancers at The Next Step,

some of them are also quite poetic.

It's like having a pound of cheese just on your spine, and you're

just like a robot and you can't, you can't move, like, you're restricted.

Ah, yeah, the feeling of a pound of cheese.

Pound of cheese on the bottom of the spine. I know it well.

Oh, that pesky pound of cheese.

Speaking of cheese, I hear mice love a bit of CBBC, and ducks too.

Quack-quack!

Quack! Look at that rug! It's so distracting!

All I want to do is watch the telly,

but it's always in the corner of my eye! Quack!

I think it's watching me! Rug, stop looking at me, rug! Stop it!

I think that Newsround should do a report about

how lovely my fish tank is.

Oh, oh, and I have a tree! Look at how jealous Leah is!

I'm so going to win this game of musical statues.

Look at them on TV, they don't stop moving.

I bet they don't even know the rules! I'm going to win the prize.

Not you, it's me, cos I'm a good boy, in't I?!

OK! E-mail in a video of your pet watching CBBC

and you might see them right here.

Just get onto the CBBC website and search "Pet." Sorted.

So this week I've only got one CBBC star on my mind.

Can you guess who it is, eh? Eh? Look at the wig.

The Daredevil? Er, no.

I mean, no, that wasn't what I was getting at but, I mean,

I can see what you mean.

Tracy Beaker in her early days?

I mean, no! Why would I be Tracy Beaker in her early days?!

I'm Radzi from Blue Peter! Obvious!

The Radzonator has been on Blue Peter for only six months,

but already he's managed to pull off some epic sport challenges,

eg he has hurtled down an ice track faster than

the speed of light on a skeleton bobsleigh,

managing to get something stuck in his teeth on the way down.

Oh, my goodness, my heart is absolutely pounding. Loved that.

In fact, can we get an action replay on that,

cos it looks like a bit of carrot?

Yep, here we go,

here is the exact moment the carrot baton flies into Radzi's mouth.

Wait a second, wait a second, there it is!

And he's done rally car driving where he loved the car

so much he drove off in it!

You're on national TV, Radzi, everyone saw you do it.

Return the car, quick!

But my favourite Radzi challenge

has been his open water swim on Lake Windermere.

Radzi Chinyan... Chingyan... Chimyum...

Chingyung... Chimya...oh!

Radzi had to take the plunge in freezing cold water in order

to complete his training, but don't worry, guys,

he was well 'ard about it!

MUSIC: "Macho Man" by the Village People

What a champ.

OK, want to see the very best and the very worst of CBBC this week?

Run the tape, and, er, please, driver,

let me off the bus, will you?!

# Coming up next week on CBBC

# Monday there's dancing in The Next Step... #

Everyone else knows the moves, why don't you know the moves?

There's no excuse at this point.

I can't feel my face, I'm completely frozen solid.

It is utterly miserable.

# And of course there is Big Fab Friday

# With Friday Download and The Slammer... #

# Be my girl, I'll be your saviour

# You're my queen, you'll wear the crown, yeah. #

MUSIC: "Jailhouse Rock" by Elvis Presley

-Are you serious?!

-That means you get the pie too, Shannon!

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Oh, sorry, Shannon!

Get me a turkey sandwich! Extra pickles!

Actually, don't even bother with the turkey! Or the sandwich!

Just get me a jar of pickles!

HE LAUGHS

Hello?!

HE LAUGHS

HE LAUGHS

I'm sorry, I'm so...!

The Slammer didn't want me!

That's all right, cos I don't want the Slammer!

A-a-agh, my face!

-I'm so bored!

-Tell me about it!

-Oh, who are we kidding?

-Yeah! Urgh!

-Yay!

Ya-a-ay!

You are now up to the minute on all things CBBC.

Have a fun filled week and fear not, cos if you missed any of your

fave telly shows, we'll be here to pick up the pieces next weekend.

Hang on, what's that noise? Whoops, I've missed the bus!