Episode 12 WHOOPS I MISSED THE BUS

Shut off the outside world,

forget about that homework - for a while - and crank up the telly.

You're just in time for a quick bounce around CBBC!

Boing, boing, boing!

I'm incredibly happy about this.

-# Be the next Lionel Messi

-Or the next Andy Murray

# Every dad loves a game with a naan and a curry... #

Rhys seems very happy about this.

-DRAMATICALLY:

-Gideon!

And you look pretty happy about this!

I love music!

Whoooo!

What happens when you mix CBBC stars with CBBC shows?

It's the recipe for our resident vloggers, of course,

Myles and Laura.

A pinch of Matilda, some Hetty Feather salts

and a sprinkling of The Next Step. We're good to go.

Now let's get this show on the road with young Myles of Lols-bridge.

Pop your legwarmers on, kid, you're up! I hope he shared them.

Yesterday I was stuck at the bottom of my stairs,

I didn't know how to get up.

I was like, "How am I going to get up these stairs?

"I don't know what's happening now.

So I did some research to try and work it out,

then I put on some CBBC and there was a programme giving you

the exact help I needed to get up the stairs.

Taking The Next Step.

Erm, it turns out it's more about the TV show The Next Step

than it is about...stairs.

All about The Next Step, I can't think of anything better,

so let's watch and give ourselves tips on how to appear on a show.

Don't make us fight for it! Turn it on.

We're making this show right now, right here, today.

There is no time, dude, you've got to be ready now.

What's happening? Don't make them fight for it. Turn it on.

-You've got to be ready now.

-WITH ECHO EFFECT:

-Now.

There's an echo on "now",

-which just makes it more dramatic, so you know it's now.

-Now.

-Not another now, it's...

-WITH ECHO EFFECT:

-..now.

-Why is that happening?

-Now.

It's more dramatic than The Next Step, in a way,

but instead of the drama of, "Ah, who likes who? He likes her," there's an echo on the word "now".

And, you know, I love watching three people sitting down

and watching another person not sitting down.

They're standing up, but in lots of different funky ways.

It's called dancing, but there is a lot of dancing here.

Yeah!

Once they finish their dance, the judges still have about

five minutes until the next dancer has to come on.

Hmm.

So they have got to take their judging...

slowly.

You can't just be, like, "Brilliant, bring on the next person."

You've got to stretch it out. "OK, I didn't think that was good.

"I thought it was VERY good."

Oh, it's clever, he's played with words there.

I remember the day that I learned to street-dance,

a day that I'm sure is all very fresh in our minds.

And I was so tired by the end of that,

not because I don't enjoy street dance, because I'm very unfit.

It takes a lot of confidence to stand up and perform.

As good as I was, you'd probably be, like, "He's a professional dancer?"

No, but I'm not.

I was nervous and I was only performing to one other person,

and these people are performing to three judges.

And, to a lot of them, this is their dream.

We're making dreams come true in here!

Can they do that, though, for real?

Can they actually make someone's dream come true?

Because last night I was having a dream a T rex was chasing me,

then it ate me for its dinner - don't want that one to come true.

And dancing and dinosaurs, they both begin with the same letter,

so I don't want them to be looking through the list of dreams they're

making true, "Oh, dancing, dancing, dancing, dinosaur, dancing...

"No, can we just make sure the dancing one is coming true,

"not the dinosaur?" "Dinosaur? You're a T rex now."

West would be jealous, Myles, that was super!

And speaking of jealousy,

here are this week's amazing better-than-me mini vloggers.

Grace us with your cheery faces, my dears.

Hi, guys. My favourite show on CBBC is...

..because they always have brilliant singers

and very different...personalities,

and their singing voices are amazing.

I love CBBC programmes and my favourite is Diddy TV

because it's loads of entertainment and it's funny.

Keep going...Diddy TV.

Hi, I'm Sonny and I love The Official Chart Show

because it gives me my daily scoop of what's number one

and it's got loads of musical guests.

I love music!

Whoo!

My favourite programme on CBBC is The Next Step

because there's lots of drama and I love dancing.

My favourite characters are West and Eldon.

Eldon because he's the best dancer in the studio

and West because he comes up with loads of crazy ideas.

Next Step rocks!

You might be a fan of CBBC but I'm a big fan of you!

So why don't you upload your 15-second mini vlog onto

the Whoops web page and you could be on the telly next week? By Jiminy!

I know what you've been thinking and the answer is I'm not sure

who would win in a rap battle between the Euros and Wimbledon.

Good question. Shall we find out? Let's!

# Yah, listen, yeah

# Grab a ball, something big

# Something small, green with a white line

# White and black, get your scarves, do your Mexican wave

# Let's get it on

# Get your shades and a polo shirt for a respectable spectacle

# With all sorts of delectables

# Strawberries and cream at the tennis for professionals

# Yawn-fest! All I do is cheer for my team

# In football, every single young kid's dream

-# Be the next Lionel Messi

-Or the next Andy Murray

# Every dad loves a game with a naan and a curry

# 90 minutes of blood, sweat and tears

-# In tennis there's no clock

-That means it could go for years?!

# Well, there's constant excitement in tennis, back and forth

# Football? What a joke, sometimes no-one scores!

# Our game is for the rich and famous

# What? Look at the facts, who earns more? Yep, football players

# World's most-watched sport, yeah, we kick it in the net

# If you put it in the net that's a foul from your ref

# We're a sport fit for kings, ask Henry VIII

# When I wasn't chopping heads I was always game

# Set and match, no debates, just look at the greats

# Steffi Graf, Federer, Venus, Serena

# Women and men, look, no room for geezers

# Jumpers for goalposts, game for the family

-# No tennis elbows

-Just torn hamstrings

-# Which sport wins?

-BOTH:

-We'll let the fans pick. #

This week I've been watching a show that can teach me to cook, finally!

So, that will go there. Little bit of salt. Now, don't tell Mum.

Except the moment the smoke alarm goes off, but we'll ignore that.

-ALARM BEEPS

-Open the back door!

Don't worry, Tilly, we've all been there.

Last time I tried to bake bread, it was like I'd bought a smoke machine.

-ALARM WHOOPS

-It's just like a disco, see?

-SHE COUGHS

-Must set a timer next time.

Back to the show. It is of course Matilda And The Ramsay Bunch,

with yet another action-packed holiday.

Ramsay's overboard!

Oh, dear.

Abandon ship!

It's a good job they eat all that food

because I don't know how they pack so much activity into one day -

raft building, flag making, cooking and eating a three-course meal.

I'm not quite on their level.

My achievements today were getting dressed and burning some toast.

Maybe I should take a page from Matilda's book and try some effort.

I'm not sure if Cornish people do this, but I love eating them

dipped in Cornish clotted cream.

Yum!

They're really easy to make. All you do is...

add in some self-raising flour...

Flour in.

..then add butter and mix.

Butter, butter... No, I used the last on my burnt toast.

Oh, well, let's Art Ninja it.

PLASTIC CRUMPLES

Ah, just like Tilly's - yum!

I definitely did not just buy this from the shop.

The good news is, Tilly's food turned out great

-and the family all seemed to enjoy it.

-They are delicious.

It's really good, thank you, really yummy.

Love the idea with the sausages.

With food like that, you don't need to buy from the shops.

Even their dog is after it.

When I was making the sausages, Romper was just sitting by my feet.

And I've also worked out that Tilly and I have something in common,

not our cooking skills, clearly, but we both take photos of our food.

CAMERA CLICKS

I like to think I'm quite the pro.

-FRENCH ACCENT:

-Time to make some art.

CAMERA CLICKS

Mwah!

Hmm, now I need to work on actually making the food

so I have something to take pictures of.

Hetty Feather, an incredible story from the mind of Jacqueline Wilson

about a brave, feisty young girl

who enters a children's home and succeeds against all the odds.

It really is a tale of inner strength.

I don't think we've had a story like this before.

Wait a minute.

To be fair, the Hetty Feather world

is quite different from the Tracy Beaker universe.

For instance, last week they gave great baking tips.

-For your sweet pastry, it's much like your plain.

-Only sweeter.

Oh, that's where I've been going wrong!

HE SPLUTTERS

And have you noticed how all the foundling boys have epic names?

They could be on the X Factor!

-Gideon...

-Gideon!

-Vince...

-Vince!

-Mathias...

-Mathias.

-Ned...

-N... Ned?

There's always one.

Hetty Feather also has romance. Ooh, la, la.

Take this for the journey. I'll say one got knocked on the floor.

-She gave me a pork pie!

-No wonder he's smiling!

People seemed to take their pastry seriously in the Victorian area.

Can you imagine what romantic comedies would have been like?

They should call it something like Love Bakery. Ooh!

-AS MAN:

-Jane, we've been courting for a while now and, well, I thought

we'd take our relationship to the next level.

-AS WOMAN:

-What do you mean, Thomas?

-AS MAN:

-What I'm trying to say is...

-AS MAN:

-Jane...

-AS WOMAN:

-Oh, my gosh!

-AS MAN:

-Would you like to...eat this tiger roll?

-AS MAN: Oh!

-Oh, yes, Thomas, a thousand times yes!

However, Hetty Feather does have its own Justine Littlewood

to cause trouble for Hetty. Usually she's in the form of Sheila,

but she's been getting competition lately from backstabbing Blanche.

Girl snitches on anyone - even Sheila!

You snitched...again.

You need to know that I'm not your friend.

I'm not anyone's friend.

Message received, Blanche - you're not a people person.

If anything proves that Hetty Feather is a great show,

it has to be the moment where Hetty realises who Ida really is!

You're my girl, Hetty.

My very own girl.

You always have been.

Whaaaa?!

'At last, I'd found her.

'I knew who my mother was.'

Aah! Goose bumps! Ah!

I for one cannot wait for the next episode of Tracey...

Hetty Feather! Hetty Feather. Sorry.

Thumbs up from me, Rhys. Great vlogging.

But wait! I sense a few furry animals waiting to have their say

on their favourite CBBC shows. I do like this bit.

-It's time for...

-What you thinking, pet?

And now, Sabina the cat lies very, very still.

With spotty camouflage like this,

even Steve Backshall would be hard-pressed to spot her.

I absolutely adore Hank Zipzer's sister Emily.

Why is this show called Hank Zipzer?

It ought to be called Emily

and be on CBBC all day, every day.

I'd like that.

Oh, no! Horrible Histories is on CBBC!

I've never actually watched it,

but I assume it has horrible things in it, like empty food bowls,

people not giving their dogs a chew toy,

and long-haired beauties like me having vile, clean baths!

I'm sickened by it!

Pop Slam's Amberley Lobo isn't the only one who can get shouty.

Listen to this. Meow!

Did you like that, Megan? Did you?

Do you want me to do it again?

Ready? Meow!

Woohoo! I've nailed this shouting presenter thing, haven't I?

If you've got a fluffy little pal

and need help tuning in to their brainwaves,

record them watching 20 seconds of CBBC

and upload it to the Whoops webpage.

We can tell you what they were thinking...

kind of. It's mostly just interpretation.

What you thinking, pet?

Now, what's CBBC Best Bits spelled backwards?

Who cares?! Let's just watch some telly gold from the past week.

Pass the popcorn, Mum. I'm ravenous.

What's in the bag?

Oh, this? It's just a little art project I've been working on.

-Can I see it?

-It's just a bit of daubing.

-I bet it's brilliant.

-You think?

-Yeah, of course.

You've done it. What's it of?

It's you, Matt!

It's a lovely picture of you...

Now I can stare at you whenever I want.

Aaaaaaaargh!

Ed and Isabel are meeting all their wedding guests,

who are gathering to surprise the family

at the bottom of the tower.

Including Thierry's mum,

who's travelled a whopping 4,500 miles to be here today.

She hasn't seen her son for over two years.

This is going to be one big surprise.

CHEERING

It's tears of joy from Mum

when she sees all her friends and family

have made the trip out for her big day.

And Dad's overjoyed to see his mum after so long.

Are you new to Westbrook? You can walk in with us if you like.

Thanks. I'd like that.

-Oh, my...!

-Hank!

Have you totally lost it? What ARE you doing?

I'm going to find out who tagged that wall and get my life back.

-He is a good-looking girl.

-Thanks. What do you think of the voice?

Too much? I could go a little higher, or a little lower.

This is your maddest idea ever.

Don't listen to her. You go, girl.

I was thinking of calling it off between you and I, Sue.

I'm going to try and find a new love.

You'll never find anyone with a surname

that rhymes with "permanent marker"!

Wow, look! It's TV's Carol Kirkwood! You all right, Carol?

-You all right, cocker?

-Yeah! Hi, Hacks!

Maybe, Carol, you could be my new love.

I'll try the song. Ahem.

# Carol Kirkwood, Carol Kirkwood

# Better than a smirkety-smirk... #

Oh, Carol! It's just not going to work.

# Novak Djokovic, Novak Djokovic

# Is better than Islokovic Hokovic... #

No, it's not going to work.

# Random man, random man

# I bet your name's summat like Dan... #

You're so wise, Sue, like a wise old owl.

And we're done.

But fear ye not, for we'll be back next weekend

and you can catch up on all things CBBC on the Kids iPlayer.

Right, decision time. Walk or bus? Walk or...?

I guess it's walk. I'm walking.