Episode 13 WHOOPS I MISSED THE BUS


Episode 13

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Boys and girls, cats and dogs,

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CBBC-ers of all ages - congratulations!

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You've struck telly gold! It's time for Whoops I Missed the Bus, baby!

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I definitely know her from somewhere.

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# Is it too late to say I'm sorry now... #

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I don't know anything about this.

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SHE PLAYS AIR GUITAR

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And you guys know a lot about CBBC.

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She's really hilarious and funny, and she always solves the problem.

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But before we take a quick whizz through CBBC Town,

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let me introduce you to the conductors.

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-It's our resident vloggers, Laura and Myles.

-Tickets, please.

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All aboard. I'm a bus conductor now. I don't... What?

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Now, let's check on the goddess of the...vlogess?

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She's the queen of the screen - that one works - it's Laura!

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It's probably one of the only shows

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you'll see a rat dressed as a caveman.

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Yes, it's true.

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Or in a toga.

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It's funny when other people fall over or get bonked on the head.

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While I could keep talking about Rattus Rattus's outfit collection,

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but let's talk about Horrible Histories.

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This week was a Staggering Storytellers special

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about how people used to tell stories through the ages.

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I guess they told stories cos they didn't have social media

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to update everyone on what they were doing.

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"Once upon a time, Laura made some beans on toast for her dinner.

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"She took a photo of it on her phone to show everyone.

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"She wanted lots of people to like her dinner and give it a thumbs up."

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It's true! People used to tell stories using pictures.

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Mm, pictures, eh? I think I'd be pretty good at this.

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Now, I've made it pretty simple so you can guess it.

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It's an action story about a heroine named Laura who flies to space

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to discover a team of aliens. With her superpowers she... What?

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That wasn't clear from my pictures? Hello! Fine.

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Maybe I need some tips. Horrible Histories, what have you got?

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When I'm struggling to think of something to write,

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-I climb a mulberry tree. Naked.

-No, I'm not doing that.

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I'm very serious writer George Eliot.

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My advice for women writers in Victorian times is,

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if you want to be taken seriously, pretend to be a man.

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George! You coming to the boxing?

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-GRUFFLY:

-I wouldn't miss it for the world, mate.

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-GRUFFLY:

-I'm not sure this is working.

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One thing the show did teach me was when printing was first invented

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the choice of books was a bit limited. Just a bit.

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Right. I'm afraid I don't have that one.

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But I do have this - The History Of Troy.

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Is it worth you checking your stockroom?

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No, it's not, because at the moment this is the only book

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printed in English in the whole world.

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Nowadays we have so much choice.

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I wonder if in the olden days

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they read books really slowly to drag them out longer?

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I must make this last until next year,

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before another book is printed.

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Horrible Histories: Staggering Storytellers has encouraged me

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to start writing my own stories.

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Now, let's try and read this picture story again.

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It's the end of the vlog. End of the vlog. How is that not obvious?

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Bravo! Some historic vlogging there, Laura.

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But wait, we have some more vloggers out to make history.

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15 Second Fans, do your thing.

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My favourite show on CBBC is Dennis The Menace And Gnasher,

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and I like it because they're really naughty, like I am,

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and they love pranks and mischief like I do.

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My favourite show is Diddy TV, because it's so funny

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and they've got tiny weenie bodies and a really big head.

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I especially like the one

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where they eat loads of different disgusting foods.

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That's why I like Diddy TV.

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My 15 Second Fan has definitely got to be Millie from Milly Inbetween,

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because I think all the actors are really, really good.

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But she's really hilarious and funny,

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and she always solves the problem

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and she's always there for her family.

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My favourite show is The Next Step,

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because of all the lovely dances and everything.

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My favourite is Giselle, because she is such a wonderful dancer

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and she adds a lot of tricks to her dance.

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15 Second Fans? More like 15 Second Legends! That was brilliant!

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And if it's inspired you to get vlogging, why not give it a go?

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Just upload your short vid to the Whoops web page

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and you could end up on CBBC just like that lot. Get in!

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I suggest you position your entire body towards the tellybox,

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and that includes you, madam! You're not going to want to miss this.

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7,4,1, go! APPLAUSE

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-Hello, and welcome to Diddy Chat.

-Yes.

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It's the chat show where we like to chat to

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tomorrow's biggest stars today.

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And today's big star is Lauren Layfield

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from The Dengineers and CBBC HQ.

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-Welcome, Lauren.

-Hiya.

-You're very welcome.

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Thank you for having me. What a pleasure.

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So, Lauren, how did you get into this showbusiness?

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Into the world of showbusiness.

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-I used to be a very serious newsreader.

-Did you get fired?

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-I didn't get fired, no.

-Why did you leave?

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I did try and leave on my own accord, but I...

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I think possibly that my voice wasn't newsreader-y enough.

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-It sounds very squeaky at the moment.

-Right.

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Lauren, our producer's told us that you're half Guyanese.

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-Is that correct?

-That is correct.

-Where is this Guyaneseiana-na?

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-Guyana.

-Guyana.

-It's Guyana. It's in South America.

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Where's South America?

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-It's sort of like down from America.

-Where's America?

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America's, like, up a little bit, and it's sort of to the left.

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If you look at it on the map, it would be to the left of it.

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-Ah. Turn left, second on your right?

-Exactly.

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Go down for a bit, past the shop, you can't miss it.

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-So, Lauren Layfield.

-Yeah.

-We've heard you're an expert at pong-ping.

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-Our producer told us.

-Yes, ping-pong.

-And ping-pong.

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And ping-ping and pong-pong.

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How many years have you been ponging a ping-ping pong?

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I haven't done it for a little while, but I did do it for 14 years,

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which basically makes me an expert.

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14 years of ping-pong?

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-Like, constantly.

-What was wrong with you?

-Can we see it?

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-We've got a bat and ball for you.

-Yeah, yeah. Bring it in.

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Right, lads. Bring on the bat

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and the ping-pong-pang-pang-ping-ping-pang-

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pong-ping-ping-pang-pong-pang-pong- ping-ping ball.

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-Boosh!

-SHE GRUNTS

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Oh. Yes! Oh!

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-Oh!

-You should be in the Olympics.

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-Very good, isn't she?

-Told you. 14 years didn't go to waste.

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You're a lady of many talents, cos our producer has also told us

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you love doing karaoke.

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Sing us a bit of your best hit.

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Erm, ahem.

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# Is it too late to say I'm sorry now

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# Oh Bamma-damma noo

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-# Sorry, yeah... #

-She doesn't know the words.

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-She doesn't know the words.

-Great.

-What's your favourite football team?

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My favourite football team is Manchester City. Whoo!

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-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Lads, lads, lads.

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-Why?

-Just cos they're really good.

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I heard it's just cos you like the colour blue.

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I do like colour gl-...blue. I do like the colour blue.

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She said glue blue. Did she say glue blue?

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I like the colour blue, but also I like them

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because they're quite good and you don't want to support a rubbish one.

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Well, it's been delightful having you on the sofa.

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You're not coming back.

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But before you go, we would like you to build your very own den.

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-OK, good. I'm an expert. Hit me.

-Right.

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Build something out of this lot.

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Right. Yep.

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Well, we've got to go now

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cos the ice cream van's just pulled up outside.

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Mine's an orange lolly. Thank you very much to Lauren Layfield

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from The Dengineers and CBBC HQ.

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We'll be back next time with another big star here on Diddy Chat.

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APPLAUSE

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On Blue Peter they were chatting all things books and authors

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because this was all about awesome authors.

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So to get you in the mood, I thought I'd give you a bit of a flavour

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of the lovely lively literature, the perfect poetic publications,

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and the fantastically funny fiction fables.

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-That was really good.

-Very, very good alliteration.

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Radzi has been reading his book. All that alliteration.

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You can tell, cos it really inspires you

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and gives you a lot more words to be using.

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I read a book that inspired me like that.

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It was brilliant. It was a thesaurus.

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No, it wasn't really that good. There was too many characters.

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Sort of got boring after a while.

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Not boring. It was, erm... What's another word for boring?

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Then Radzi went behind the scenes

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of the play version of Gansta Granny,

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based on a book by David Walliams.

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Oh, maybe he's an authom-... Awesome... Awesome auth-... Awe...

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I can't say it. Maybe I need to read more books.

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And Radzi got involved with all the work behind the scenes

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that goes into making the show what it is.

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'I need to rehearse my very own part in the show.

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'But before that I need to get to grips with my other job

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'as a stage hand.'

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-Radzi, there's three props I need you to look after for me.

-Perfect.

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One of them is this giant spoon here which I need you to hand to Granny.

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"Radzi's here. What do we get Radzi to do?" "I don't know.

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"I don't know, give him... Get him to hold the giant spoon."

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I mean, Radzi's a great guy, he'll do anything.

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-Radzi, can you do some star jumps to help out, please?

-OK.

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Oh, wow. He did it. Give him another Blue Peter badge for that.

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They had Toby on the show too.

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He's been writing letters to lots of countries.

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Which is amazing. I love that.

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And he's been collecting the letters

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and he's been putting them into a book.

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-And of course you got a very special response from Blue Peter.

-Yes. Yes.

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-Yes, didn't you? Is that one of your favourite responses?

-Yes.

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I mean, it's their show, so it's good he said that.

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Because of Toby's achievement

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he got given a gold badge, which are very rare.

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-Oh, my goodness!

-Can we please

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have a massive round of applause for Toby?

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CHEERING

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No amount of star jumps will get you that.

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-Especially if you're just sitting down.

-Toby, well done.

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Honestly, you've inspired Radzi and I,

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and I'm sure you've inspired everyone watching.

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-You're incredible.

-Definitely.

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I love that idea of sort of connecting

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with all these different people around the world

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you wouldn't know about.

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I might do the same.

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"Dear Radzi, I've been inspired to write you this letter.

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"I'm asking if you can come round to do my washing up tonight."

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And back onto the path of books,

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Barney is teaching us how to make a 3-D bookmark.

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Thank you, Barney. I've always wanted that.

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Put them all into the bowl. You want to add the water gradually.

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Might just actually just sort of fold the pages over as a bookmark.

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# I thought my life was weird

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# And then it appeared

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# On CBBC It's a real must-see

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# The strangest show around You will ever, ever see

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# And if you don't believe me Watch it with your tea

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# It's called Odd Squad. #

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OK, I'm just as freaked out about my rapping skills as you are,

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so, erm, promise me we'll never speak of this again.

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Who do we work for?

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We work for Odd Squad.

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So, if you're fan

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of all things oddly, greatly, crazily, promisingly,

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truly, amazingly, extremely

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and all the other words ending in -ly,

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then Odd Squad is definite-ly the show for you.

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A villain has been dropping giant nuts all over town.

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Take a look.

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They've hit the library, the baseball fields, the town square.

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-I need you to find out how and why this is happening.

-Solved it!

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I mean, kids are in charge of saving the world.

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How is this not the best show ever?

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Listen, every time I honk my horn, this happens...

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QUACKING Whoa!

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Whoa, indeed.

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Ah-ha. I think we've found the problem, sir.

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And I thought I was bad for leaving things in strange places.

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Ah! There you are! I've been looking for you everywhere.

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Speaking of strange places,

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here's a man in a park with a very peculiar problem.

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Everybody can see what I'm thinking, which is OK sometimes

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but sometimes it's not.

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Come again?

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It that a bear dressed as a ballerina

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riding a shark in outer space?

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I'm allowed to think whatever I want to think.

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How incredibly awkward would it be

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if people could actually see what you're thinking?

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SHE PLAYS AIR GUITAR

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OK, so maybe that was more like your worst nightmare.

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I don't think I'm ready for this!

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I think you've found your catchphrase.

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I did try and warn you it was greatly, bizarrely, wildly,

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all things -ly, crazily, awesomely, extremely just odd.

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And, hey, I say if you can't beat them, you may as well join them.

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Let's all be odd together. Team odd!

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Bit odd, but tremendous, Tee Cee. Thanks very much.

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Now, let's move from humans to hamsters and from people to pets.

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It's time for...

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I literally can't get closer to this TV! I love you, Barney Harwood.

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I love you so much!

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Watching Marrying Mum And Dad whilst being stroked -

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it doesn't get better than this! Wait. What's going on? Ella?

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Oh, she's gone. I wonder if I'll ever get married.

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Nah, I'll just watch CBBC and wait for my masseuse to return.

4:06:294:06:33

Judith. Can I go on the couch, please?

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This wooden chair is too uncomfortable

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for my little hamster toes. How do I get down? Judith!

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Alvin's stuck and wants to watch CBBC on the couch! Now!

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Kasey, Mum said it's my turn to choose the programme now.

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What are you watching anyway? Oh, it's Naomi. I love Naomi!

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You will always have my full attention, Queen Wilkinson.

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I could watch you for days.

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If you want to jump inside your pet's noodle

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and figure out what on earth is going on in there, then we can help.

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Just record them watching 20 seconds of CBBC

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and upload it to the Whoops web page.

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It's ever so funny!

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What Are You Thinking, Pet?

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Now, if you've had a proper busy week

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and missed some of your favourite CBBC telly, you can stop worrying.

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Get comfy. It's time for CBBC's best bits.

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Have a look at your teeth please, mister. Lovely, lovely teeth.

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He's in tip-top shape too, but he's missing a name.

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I am going to name you X-ray.

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This woman is Hetty Feather's mother.

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Hetty?

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Dismiss this sinful woman.

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No, please.

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I know I've done wrong but I'm of good character.

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Hetty's all I've got.

4:07:554:07:58

Assume your authority, Mr Cranbourne.

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At least mine looks good. Yours looks like it's about to fall apart.

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-Oh, yeah? A tank could run over this.

-Prove it.

-I will.

4:08:054:08:09

-Are you sure that's a good idea?

-No, but it's McKelty.

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See? Ah!

4:08:194:08:21

-AARGH!

-SHE GASPS

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DANCE MUSIC

4:08:254:08:28

Whoo!

4:08:284:08:30

THEY CHEER

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-Tell me what's your favourite book?

-I like books.

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Books, books, books. Books are made from chicken.

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-Chicken, chicken, chicken. Bok-bok.

-That doesn't make any sense.

4:08:444:08:48

OK, tell me this - what is your favourite word?

4:08:484:08:51

-Pancake. Pancake is one word, despite what you think.

-OK, right.

4:08:514:08:56

OK, we are done. Doesn't time fly when you're having a LOL?

4:08:564:08:58

Don't forget we'll be back next weekend

4:08:584:09:00

and that you can catch up on all things CBBC

4:09:004:09:03

over on the CBBC iPlayer.

4:09:034:09:05

Now, is that a bus? Yep, no. Off he goes. Ha-ha-ha! What a joker!

4:09:054:09:08

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