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Ears on and eyes forward.
It's CBBC's party time,
and that means 15 minutes of jam-packed Whoops I Missed The Bus.
Oh, aren't we the lucky ones?
There's no cake, but there is plenty of this.
And they're off.
What on earth are these three up to?
Do I have a moustache? No.
Am I a woman? No.
And you guys are well into it all.
It is mysterious, adventurous, exotic...
Now, they might not be able to make balloon giraffes
but they can flog their way onto centre stage any day of the week.
It's our resident vloggers Laura and Myles.
Giraffe, you say?
Let me give this a go.
Let's get this party started.
Hang on, who let Lauren and Rhys out of their bedrooms?
Oh, this can only end in trouble...or mischief.
Either way, I'm excited.
There are books and authors.
Mmm, and sandwiches.
It's Awesome Authors, live in Birmingham.
Right, so, are you up for a challenge?
It depends. What is it?
Whoever takes the best selfie today wins.
What's the prize?
Loser buys winner an ice cream.
Nicola Davies, you have written a book
all about poo.
Cos poo's very useful stuff. OK.
When you're a biologist,
poo can tell you lots of things about an animal.
I'm having a competition with my other vlogger
about who can get the best selfie.
Could you help me out and maybe we could do an animal-themed...?
Now, I have to ask. I'm a complete geek girl myself -
what inspired you to write the book?
I was a massively geeky teenager.
I had, like, dinosaur posters and I had rock collections,
and I named them all and gave them little tags,
so I was the ultimate geek girl.
I kind of wanted to write a story about what it felt like
to be an outsider and not part of the cool gang.
Rhys... Yeah. ..it's Sam and Mark.
It's Sam and Mark! Laura, can we...? Chill, Laura.
Look, we're in public. Hey, Sam, Mark! Oh! It's Sam and Mark.
You've got some pre-written notes stuck to your back.
Stick them on your forehead.
OK. Laura, you go first.
Do I write fiction?
Am I alive? No.
Am I a woman? No.
It's David Baddiel. Hello.
What made you want to start writing children's books?
My son, basically.
I've got two kids, but my son said something one day
that gave me an idea.
He said, "Why doesn't Harry Potter run away from the Dursleys..."
You know, the horrible muggle family that he lives with? Yep.
"..and try and find some better parents?"
And I said, "I don't know but that's given me an idea."
The idea was a book in which children
could choose their own parents.
That was The Parent Agency, which I wrote a couple of years ago.
Have I written more than one book? No.
Am I an author? No.
What has been your favourite part of Awesome Authors weekend?
My favourite part was getting a signature from Lindsey
and meeting Hacker, and this.
Hacker T Dog? I've seen him around somewhere.
He is around here somewhere. Where is he?
It's Philip Ardagh.
Lost And Found or The Next Step?
Having no idea what either of them are,
I'd say both
but just small portions.
Both, but small portions.
That's a good answer.
Three, two, one.
Use that tiki-taka football. One-two, one-two.
It's a game of two halves. Well, not here.
We've got about 30 seconds, so please score.
Would you have any tips for any budding authors out there?
Take a really exciting science news story
and then say to yourself, "What if?"
So, ask the big "What if?"
Ask the big "What if?" And go there.
Travel across the universe.
Don't think small, think big. There we go.
POP MUSIC PLAYS
Do I have a moustache? No.
Am I on CBBC? No. Oh!
It's David O'Doherty and Chris Judge, everybody.
You guys have written a book called Danger Is Everywhere.
If that is true,
where is the danger?
Because I'm getting a little bit scared.
Like, this table, for instance.
It could flip, guys. Look...
Hey! THEY LAUGH
Come on, guys. People have paid good money to watch this.
Well, it is a free event but you know what I'm talking about.
Are we going to guess this? No, you've no chance.
You are the canteen assistant from So Awkward.
Stick to vlogging, will you? Losers.
You've only gone and done it.
Pretty good day, all in all, Laura. And do you know what?
I reckon I totally won that selfie competition.
Yeah, whatever. Come on, let's have a look.
Come on. I like that one. Yeah. All right. That's fine.
I think we have a winner. Yes! Yeah, OK. All right. Yes!
That's a really good one. Supreme.
Shall we get your ice cream, then? Yes, please.
Can I have a 99 with a flake, please?
Strawberry sauce and sprinkles.
Maybe some chocolate sauce, too.
Do you have any of those little sweeties? Do you know what?
I'm just going to leave you here in Birmingham. Laura...
Actually, can I have raspberry sauce with chocolate sprinkles, too?
Let's have some milk, as well. Do you guys serve milk?
Chaos! And while Rhys carries on with that ice-cream order,
you lot have been creating vlogs of your very own.
15-second fans, the stage is yours!
Hi, guys. I just wanted to say that
I love all the CBBC shows,
especially The Next Step.
They have such drama in it
and they're really good characters.
I just love it.
CBBC is the best!
I can't stop watching it.
My favourite show's How To Be Epic At Everything
cos it makes you epic.
It shows how to see backwards,
how to do magic tricks...
do a spin, like Beckham.
It's just hard to keep up.
Do you know what I mean? It's so good. Well done.
My favourite TV shows are The Next Step and Wolfblood.
The Next Step because it's got really good dancing
and it inspires me to dance.
And Wolfblood because they just go on loads of adventures
and you don't know what's going to happen next. Get in!
My favourite TV show has got to be Wolfblood
because it's mysterious,
and it is always interesting and exciting.
It is never boring.
I absolutely love Wolfblood!
Great work, my 15-second beauties.
Now, I don't know how or why an Airmageddon drone raced a bike,
but I'm glad it did because it's right rare stuff.
Play the clip.
Nearly two metres tall,
weighing just under 80 kilos.
He is one of the fastest men,
on a track bike, in the world.
The Weaponised Assault Ship.
Wasp, for short.
Weighing in at 5.8 kilos
and 1.6 metres wide,
this thing can seriously sting.
For this race,
both drone and cyclist
will do one lap of the Velodrome.
The one who crosses the finish line first wins.
And they're off!
Not a great start for the Wasp,
a bit slow off the mark there.
Andy's seen his chance and he is running away with the lead.
Andy's already halfway through the lap.
Wasp really needs to put its foot down to stay in this race.
Andy is speeding to the finish,
Wasp hasn't even made it to the halfway line.
I have been wondering what Hank Zipzer's been up to recently,
and if you also are sitting at home saying,
"Oh, Myles, you've just said what... I have also been wondering,"
well, at his school, there has been a top-teacher contest.
Will you make a speech tomorrow explaining why I should be
Westbrook's top teacher? You bet! Oh, yes!
Will you make a speech tomorrow explaining why I should be
Westbrook's top teacher? I'd be honoured, miss.
SHE SIGHS Well, thank you, Nicholas!
Thanks, Nicholas. Ms Adolf and Mr Rock have chosen who they want to
do their speeches and Hank is worried about what to say
in his speech, because a speech is a big thing.
You know, doing a speech, you've got to make sure
you say all the right...
Mr Rock is Westbrook's best teacher. That's obvious.
So why is my speech so lame?
LASER SOUND EFFECT
Wait... Got it! Everything's better with sound effects!
"Everything's better with sound effects"?
I mean, I'm not sure I quite agree...
SLIPPING NOISE, CRASH!
Why was there a banana in my... in the bed...? Why was...?
And why do bananas make such a loud sound, anyway?
I mean, sure, Hank, for a speech,
more sound effects could make it more interesting.
Livens it up, keeps the audience entertained,
but not for every type of speech.
You're in a church, getting married -
"Do you take this man to be your husband?" "I..."
All this top-teacher business, as well, is happening on April the 1st
and, if you know your dates well, that's April Fools' Day,
the day of jokes, pranks, hilarious goofs and spoofs.
It's also the start of a brand-new, beautiful month.
Just explain to me why you want to ban April Fools' Day.
It's just a waste of time.
I got horribly pranked this April - when I asked my friends if
they wanted to hang out, they said they were busy!
And then on April the 2nd, I said the same. Still busy.
But anyway, top-teacher speech. Let's get back to that.
I wouldn't know what to write for that.
I did have a really good teacher once who told me
I could do anything that I set my eyes on,
erm...but then told me I did need glasses and moved me
to sit at the front row of the class,
so I could do anything I set my eyes on,
as long as it was right in front of my face and I was squinting.
Step into the future at Westbrook.
You won't believe your eyes.
I know everyone's laughing,
but I think she does deserve to be top teacher after that.
Why would you laugh at a teacher who's just turned into a robot?
She's grown past human existence and turned into a machine.
This isn't a laughing matter! This is science!
Also, it's all made out of cardboard,
but even robots have feelings. That's my shoulder, but...
And maybe even on April Fools' Day, the day of laughing and goofing,
we should be aware not just of how people feel,
but how robots do, too, and that top-teacher award,
maybe it should go to the teacher of life, giving us the lesson...
So many bananas on the fl...
I don't think sound effects make everything better.
BOOING OK, I'm sorry!
So, today I'm vlogging about Taking The Next Step...
Actually, do you know what? I've changed my mind.
I can't take this any more.
Getting up early in the mornings, filming vlogs... I quit!
Today, we want to see you talk. We want to see you come to life.
Well, hang on a moment. That's not what you said in the dressing room.
That's what we just talked about.
I think we need to be clear, because...
Can we just stop filming for a moment? OK, stop, stop.
You see, now THAT...is acting improvisation!
LAUGHTER It's called good acting, darlings!
So, last week's Taking The Next Step saw day two of the
national auditions, and the dancers were given an acting challenge.
The theme we'd like you to act out today are four dancers
at a dance competition.
Now, maybe you're just arriving at the competition,
seeing who you're competing against...
OK, well, how hard can improvising be?
Prrrr! Prrrr! Mah! Mah! Mah!
What do you think you're doing?
It's...my warm-up before I audition for nationals.
"Warm-up"? You sound like a cat on fire.
Wow! If you think that, then...
Erm, I've forgotten my line.
Oh, wait, I don't have a line.
OK, so it's harder than it looks,
but it's a good job that it's this lot doing it and, erm...not me.
You've got those stretches. Look what I can do.
Ah! Oh, my gosh! Someone call an ambulance! I will!
My gosh! Who knew that improvisation could be so intense?
Also, in this episode of Taking The Next Step,
it is absolutely full of drama.
We've made a decision.
You guys will not be going through the next round.
We'd like to take you with us to the next round.
O-M-D, it was so intense! Something to lighten the mood?
Tee Cee, I loved that. You are taking vlogging to the next step.
Do you get it? "Taking The..." Ah, never mind. It's time for...
'This is the life.
'On my favourite carpet, watching my favourite CBBC show, List Of Names.
'It's brilliant fun, but it never lasts long enough.
'So you fold that bit up there, then you tape that side up...
'I could do with a pen to note this down.
'Actually, I could do with a pair of hands.
'That would make being an art ninja a lot, lot easier. Heh-heh-heh!
'Seb, I'm watching Wolfblood and it's a bit tense!
'Oh, much better!
'CBBC dramas are great, but it's even greater when Seb comforts me!
'Sophie! I've lost the telly again!
'Oh, there it is. I am silly.
'# CBBC... Hoooo... #'
Now it's time to take all of last week's best bits,
mush them down into a fine paste and soak it up with your eyes,
just like you would do with any paste.
Don't do that. But do watch this.
Once her nose touches the ball... Mm.
..you push your thumb down on the clicker... Mm-hm.
..and replace it with the meat...
You ready to give it a go? Mm-hm.
On the other hand. Use the target.
Look at that! Kathleen didn't even flinch.
It was just like treating a bigger version than my pet cat.
"Bigger"? You mean huge!
# When I was out in the arcades
# Guess who walked in, wearing some dark shades?
# A not completely unattractive girl, but still
# She was hogging all the car games On a caravan trip with my auntie
# I look up at a cliff, who do I see?
# It's getting ridiculous, now
# You'd think I was making up this, I wish, pal
# The cinema... Clem The high road... Clem
# If you want to step onto my road I don't think I can hide again
# I might just be out of my mind
# Cos when I turn on the TV, yes, it was televised
# I even saw Clem in my clementine
# Whoa, maybe it's a sign
# I ain't sure, but it's playing on my mind... #
Lindsey! How many miles did the mission patch have to travel
up to to go to space? These are silly questions!
Throw it at her! Two miles!
It was 200 miles!
Yes! Barney, name the original illustrator of The BFG.
Er, that is, uh...Quentin Blake. Quentin Blake!
I love this game!
It's all going on down there, look.
There's a lad there with a bit of paper, look.
There's a girl on her phone. She's just on her phone, she doesn't care.
There's a little lad.
She's got a bit of paper, that girl's got some paper...
They've all got bits of paper!
That's it for another week, but don't shed a tear - you can catch up
with everything you've seen here, plus much more, on the CBBC iPlayer.
But for now, my friends, I am packed up and ready to board that bus.
Or not. Off it goes. Good job I've got me hiking boots, innit?