Episode 17 WHOOPS I MISSED THE BUS


Episode 17

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Transcript


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Grab your suitcase and your TV goggles, cos Whoops I Missed The Bus

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is taking you on an all-inclusive cruise

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around the hot spots of CBBC this week.

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It's TV paradise, baby.

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Who's coming out on top here?

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Me.

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We've got all the celebrity goss.

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He can dance, he can sing, he can make you laugh, and he can dance.

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And this is just...weird.

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I thought you said nothing scares...

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LAUGHTER

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Set your telly boxes to the max, sit back and relax.

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That rhymed! It's time for everyone's favourite vloggers -

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Myles and Laura.

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How much better is CBBC than homework?

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I don't know. How much better is CBBC than homework?

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Miles! Get it? Miles?

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Get what?

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It's over to you, Myles.

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We're hankering for a three-course meal with a side of CBBC.

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Take it away, good sir.

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Where's my napkin?

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On Top Class today...

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Leila, Matthew,

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Jasmine, and Josh.

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And Myles.

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Me. I want to join in on this. I've got nothing else to do.

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This isn't even a bedroom. It's literally just this wall.

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Behind it is just space.

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And I want to see if I can be top class.

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Probably not, but time will tell. Time will tell.

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No, you're not going to be top class, Myles.

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All right, Time, calm down!

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Tell me, Ben, what subject

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would you NOT like to see coming up on Top Class today?

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Literacy.

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Ooh, can I add maths to that? And no science.

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It's like I'm ordering a sandwich.

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Just a little bit of technology, not much.

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No nature, though. Just a few animals, perhaps.

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As long as we just keep the questions sort of about nothing,

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then I'll be, you know, top of the class.

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'Middle of the class.' Well, don't say that. That's rude.

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I like this show, because it's all about intelligence.

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I can watch it and be like,

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"I'm intelligent, look at all the stuff they know."

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It's cool to see people liking and being good at maths and science.

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It confuses me whenever people say, "You're a nerd, though,"

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if you like things like maths and science.

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Saying you're a nerd is just saying you like something,

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you like maths,

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so if you're saying that I'm a nerd for liking something

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then, apparently, you're also a nerd,

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cos you like being an idiot.

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One of my favourite segments is called Test The Teacher,

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where, as the title would suggest, they test the teacher.

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Mrs Dodd, look, there's no pressure. No!

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But you were one of the best performing teachers

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of the entire first part of this series of Top Class.

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I don't think many of my teachers

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would want to help me out if I was on the show.

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I think they'd just be saying, "You don't go to school any more.

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"Let the other people who go to school answer the questions."

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I've been watching a little bit of extra children's television.

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I've been trying to swot up on my vloggers and YouTubers.

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I think maybe I... Oh, I thought the wall was going to be closer,

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so I could do a casual lean.

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I think maybe someone you know

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could be one of the answers on this question.

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Me. Maybe I... Maybe I could be an answer.

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Which Radio 1 DJ completed a series of five triathlons in five days

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to raise money for Sport Relief?

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Er...

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Me.

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Greg James.

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Did they say Greg James or me?

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I'm not going to be top of the class, am I?

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Top of the class. Top... I'm scared of heights, anyway.

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I say, what a talented chap.

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And now it's your time to shine.

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Take your spotlight and show us what you're made of,

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15 Second Fans.

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My favourite programme is The Next Step, because I love dancing,

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and all the relationships and drama that's in it.

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Go, The Next Step!

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Lovely work.

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My favourite show's Lost Found Music Studios,

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because I love singing and music.

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My favourite characters are Rachel and Annabelle,

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cos they are unique, and their singing and songwriting

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is different to everybody else's there.

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Well done. I love Dumping Ground,

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because Sasha is my favourite character,

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cos she has long, pretty hair.

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I love her, because she's very naughty.

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Cracking!

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I love Art Ninja.

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I love The Next Step.

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I love Dumping Ground.

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We. All. Love.

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ALL: CBBC!

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Feeling inspired to vlog your heart out?

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Just record a 15-second video

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of yourself telling the world what you love about CBBC

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and get it sent to us through the Whoops web page.

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It's easy-peasy, like.

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Caution up ahead! Hold on to your hats, amigos.

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It's about to get really wild catching up with this weird pair.

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How many times can you get one line wrong?

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MAN: Action. Cool, eh? Tim?

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I thought you said nothing...

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THEY LAUGH

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LAUGHTER

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Ah!

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I thought you said nothing scares you.

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I... LAUGHTER

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Cool, eh?

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TIM LAUGHS

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Cool, eh? Tim...

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I thought you said nothing scares...

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THEY LAUGH

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Cool, eh?

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Tim?

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I thought you said... LAUGHTER

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Tears in your eyes!

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Cool, eh? Tim?

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Tim... I thought you said nothing scares...

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THEY LAUGH You went that time!

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I dropped... I dropped...

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I dropped my pen.

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What pen?

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THEY LAUGH

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I dropped it again!

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THEY LAUGH

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I dropped my pen.

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THEY LAUGH

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That was you that time!

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Cool, eh?

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Tim... Tim, I thought you said you weren't scared of anything.

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I dropped my pen. What pen?

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I dropped it again.

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Let's take another look at that in slow-mo, shall we?

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MAN: Cut. LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

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Well done!

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Yes! That was ridiculous.

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He can dance, he can sing,

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he can make you laugh, and he can dance.

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Wait, I've already said dance.

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This is our no-expense-spared pop-up pop booth, where, inside,

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celebrities share their songs, stories and secrets.

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Have you guessed who it is yet?

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This week, confessing all, it's Olly Murs.

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Olly Murs! I can already tell I love this show. It's Olly Murs!

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# My heart, heart, skips a beat... #

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I should probably carry on with this vlog.

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Lauren, what information and secrets are you going to get Olly to spill?

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Do you promise? I promise. Pinky promise. Pinky promise.

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They've pinky promised on it now, so there's no going back.

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A pinky promise is a promise you do not break. Most of the time.

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Well, unless you made a promise that you won't watch any more CBBC.

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Because, A, why would you ever do that?

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And, B, it's too difficult when you've got Olly Murs on CBBC.

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# I just want you to dance with me tonight. #

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Olly, if you're watching this and want to sing as a duo,

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please get in line.

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I mean, yes.

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They always say the best songs are written very, very quickly.

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Oh, really? Songs that are really instant,

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they just come off the tongue.

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When we wrote Dance With Me Tonight,

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I reckon I wrote that in under two hours.

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Two hours?! He wrote that in two hours?

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Sometimes it takes me two hours to make my bed.

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Put that there.

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Have a little rest.

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Mm, this explains why I'm not rich and famous,

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but it has made me feel like I need to start being productive.

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Let's try making my own song, stories and secrets pod.

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It's going to take hard work and practice, but I'm ready.

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OK, this didn't turn out as well as I thought it would.

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# I just want you to dance with me tonight... #

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Doesn't look very effective.

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BOTH: # ..What I want What I really, really want

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# Tell me what you want What you really, really want

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# I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna

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# I wanna really, really, really wanna zigazig ah. #

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Can I just give a huge shout-out and moment of girl power here

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to presenter extraordinaire Lauren in this.

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Not only does she get Olly Murs to dance to Spice Girls,

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she gets him in an elephant outfit.

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I think we should get you outside. Yeah?

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To go and re-enact the video. What do you think? OK.

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Off you go. See you later.

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Bye, mate.

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OK. Go that way.

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And she's also managed to get him to spill some actual proper secrets.

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I'm about to tell you, so everyone's going to find out...

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As long as you can all keep a secret.

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Can you keep a secret? I can keep a secret.

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Can you keep a secret? They can. OK.

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Go, Lozza! Go, Lozza! I think people call you Lozza, right?

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We can find out. Lauren, I invite you to be the first guest in my pod.

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Doesn't it look welcoming?

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I think it needs some work. Maybe we could get a cosy lamp in here.

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Lozza, if you're watching, could you stop by the light shop on the way?

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In the meantime, I'm going to listen to some Olly Murs.

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TINNY MUSIC # ..Dance with me tonight. #

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In the epic season four finale of Wolfblood,

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Jana revealed the whole wolfblood secret to the entire world,

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but now the world wants more.

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What other secrets are the wolfbloods hiding?

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Well, that's what the spin-off show Wolfblood Secrets is here to do.

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In a remote location, a top-secret investigation has begun,

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but who is asking the questions?

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I'm pretty sure it's the older woman

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in the fancy outfit looking a tad smug.

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Come on, voice-over man. You're better than this.

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In the first episode, Jana is interviewed by a shady looking lady

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who really needs to work on her social skills.

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Who are you?

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A friend.

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Whoa, steady on, Miss. We just met. You're barely an acquaintance.

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Yeah(!)

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Cos my friends are always following me around

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in big black cars everywhere I go.

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Watching my flat day and night, taking long-range photos.

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Oh, the laughs we have.

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That reminds me.

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It's time to spy on one of my fellow vloggers.

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Let's see. Today, it's Myles' turn.

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Which, to be honest, is kind of touch-and-go.

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Last time I spied him, he just watched Arthur for five hours.

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Not very exciting, but then again,

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you can't really get tired of that theme song.

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# And I say hey! Hey! What a wonderful kind of... #

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The interview then moves on to a more hard-hitting, vital topic.

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Dietary habits.

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You guys can drink tea?

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Only fresh human blood.

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You and me are going to get along.

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Anyone who responds, "You and me are going to get along,"

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to someone who joked about drinking fresh human blood

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is not the kind of person you should be getting along with.

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Seriously! Where did you learn these social skills from? Bats?

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WINGS FLUTTER

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We then get into a debate about what to call the wolfbloods' actions.

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You're here as the figurehead of the Wolfblood movement.

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It's not a movement. Oh, sorry. What would you like it to be called?

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Wolfblood Spring? Wolfblood Power?

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Ooh! Ooh! Let me help.

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I'm quite creative when it comes to naming things.

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Let's see.

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Wolfblood Surprise.

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Alpha Appearance.

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Howling Homecoming. Eh? Eh?

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I just like to think of them as people.

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Really? Well, I guess you're the alpha. Pfft!

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My department has been tasked

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with helping the wolfbloods integrate into our society.

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Are you sure? I'm not too impressed with your efforts at the moment.

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What if humans and wolfbloods can't live side-by-side?

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Actually, smug lady has a point.

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For instance, I can see a lot of issues between students at school.

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Rhys! Have you done your homework?

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I did it, Miss, honest. Where is it, then?

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Well... Jacqueline ate it. No, I didn't.

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JACQUELINE COUGHS

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Well, that's the first episode of Wolfblood Secrets done.

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To be honest, I wish they revealed more.

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We already know about all that other stuff.

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I want it to go deeper. What else are you hiding, Jana?

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HE LAUGHS

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You know what? On second thoughts, we're entitled to our own secrets.

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It's not polite to pry.

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HE SNIFFS Meat! 200 yards.

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See ya. HE HOWLS

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What a howling success!

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Don't worry, Rhys. Your secret's safe with us.

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This'll get your tail wagging.

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How would you like to hear from our latest group of opinionated pets?

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It's time for...

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Nobody's touching the remote.

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I've been waiting for The Next Step all day.

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YAWNING

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Must stay awake.

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All that windowsill sunbathing is tiring work.

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Maybe I'll just watch it horizontally.

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I'm going to earn my Blue Peter badge, Hannah.

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Now I just need to figure out how.

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I've got it!

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I'm going to compete in the 2020 Tokyo Olympics.

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Now to start training in three, two... Uhh.

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I love this show, Ruby.

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I think I could even be in it.

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I'd be a dainty dancer with cat-titude.

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Miss Kate would make me team captain straight away

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because of my ability to always land on my feet.

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I can see it now, Ruby.

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Me and Michelle hanging out in the studio.

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I've got the best seat in the house to watch Ultimate Brain.

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I reckon I've got the ultimate years, Llinos.

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Day or night, Super Phoebe the bunny will hear you call.

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Hang on. What was that?

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Mrs Duff from Number 24 has just made a carrot cake?

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Right, well, I'd best go and check on the situation immediately.

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I'm off. See you.

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Ever wonder what Mr Fluffy the bearded Dragon really thinks?

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Just record 20 seconds of your pet watching CBBC

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and upload it to the Whoops web page.

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We'll get our expert pet translators on the job.

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What are you thinking, pet?

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Now, wouldn't it be great if we could watch a jam-packed montage

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of all the best bits from this week's CBBC?

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Well, guess what. Feast your eyes on this, you jammy bunch.

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What took you so long, bro? And why are you so wet? Oh, sorry.

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I was just drinking from the fountain,

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but the water's really strong, so it, like...

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I had to wash my face.

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Fountain? I didn't see any fountain in the washroom.

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Hold on! There's no fountain in there. Yeah, there is.

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It's right beside the toilet.

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Did you drink from the bidet, bro? Urgh!

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Eldon just drank out of the bidet!

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What's a bidet? I don't get it.

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People use the bidet AFTER they use the toilet.

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After.

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If we get this right, we could move into the top three.

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Whoa! Close.

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We take it as tight as we can.

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We're putting everything we've got into this.

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It's all to play for. It is neck and neck.

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It's now a straight head-to-head race for the line.

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There's three boats between us and the finish.

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The wind is in our favour, our sails are up,

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and the crew are doing everything they can

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to squeeze every last drop of speed from our yacht.

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We catch third.

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We catch second. Just one more left.

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We could win this.

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This next one comes from Beige Spinning Kestrel. Oh.

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Who says, "I hid behind my car with my brother's biggest water gun,

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"and when he came walking along, I jumped out

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"and I started squirting him, and he was so surprised."

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SCREAMING

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Jump online and you can upload your pranks.

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That genuinely frightened me.

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And so another whirlwind tour of CBBC comes to an end.

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But keep your chin up, cos we'll be back next week.

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In the meantime, there's loads of great shows on the CBBC iPlayer.

0:15:040:15:07

Just enough time for me to stick my arm out and hop onto that bus.

0:15:070:15:10

Or not. There it goes.

0:15:100:15:11

Excuse me, madam driver, I can't run home in skinny jeans!

0:15:110:15:14

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