Strange Dwellings Wild & Weird

# Wormy fish-killers Convoys of caterpillars

-# Super-clever, brainless slime... #

-Ugh!

# Bunny rabbit swarms, raging storms

# And pigs that swim at dinner time

# Tornadoes of fire Starfish going haywire

-# Algae balls from space! #

-What?!

# Prairie dogs that chat Birds going splat

# And fish slapping in your face

# They're wild and weird Wild and weird

# Really, really wild and really, really weird

# They're wild and weird Wild and weird

# They're really, really wild

# They're really, really wild and weird... #

On today's show, something fishy is lurking in the garden...

-They bellow and bellow.

-Awwwrk! Awwwrk! AWWWRK!

..a land-loving animal terrorising people in the sea...

Why are they in the water?

..And the pearl fish that has a really bum deal on accommodation.

Have you changed the place? It's a bit... Seems different.

-Yeah, what do you think?

-I like it. It's a bit eh...

A BEAR GROWLS

-Bear!

-I was going for minimalist.

-THE BEAR ROARS

-No. No. B-B-B-Bear.

No, Tim, the correct term, I think you'll find, is actually minimalist.

No, no, no! B-B-B-Rrraww! Bear! Rwarrr! Bear!

THE BEAR ROARS

-Oh, all right, do you want to go somewhere different?

-Yes!

ZAP! Is that better?

Aw, yeah, that's way better. Lovely and warm.

So, how are you doing this anyway?

-Oh, I had a new button installed on the remote.

-Oh.

Shows us what it would be like if we lived in different places.

-Did you leave the hairdryer on?

-No.

-HE GASPS

-Quick - press the button.

-Press the button! Press the button! Press the button!

-OK, calm down!

-ZAP! Is that better?

-Awww - oooh, no.

-Oh, it's chilly.

-Oh, honestly, there's no pleasing some people.

You know, some animals don't have a choice where they live.

They have to set up home in very peculiar places.

-Look, I'll show you.

-C-C-Can we go home? Please?

-ZAP!

-Aw! Yeah, that's better.

ZAP!

On the southern tip of Africa, there's been an invasion.

These beach-side retreats are under attack by something

particularly menacing.

They are very tough, very aggressive, quite dangerous animals.

The stench? Oh, it stinks like hell.

Ho-ho-ho. She's a bit angry.

-That's Barbara. She lives there.

-Oh.

And when the wind blows we get all this black rubbish into the house.

They can inflict extremely nasty scratches with their claws.

And the noise at night is unreal.

Awwrk! Awwrk!

They bellow and bellow and bellow and bellow and bellow.

Awwrk! Awwwrk! AWWWRK!

I didn't sleep from quarter to four the other morning.

I don't think I would either if he was outside my window making

all that racket.

I'll have you know that's one of my best animal impressions.

-What? You... What? (Who's that?)

-(Oh, that?)

-(Yeah.)

-(Professor Peter Barham. He's the expert in this story.)

-Oh! Right!

-Aw, would you do the, em... The, you know, the...

-Yeah, OK.

-Go on.

Huah! Huah! Huah! HAUH!

That is brilliant...

What is it?

-That's a lovely waistcoat. Oh - penguins!

-African penguins.

Ohhh, right.

Naomi, would you explain, please?

The culprits in question are, as Peter said, African, or

jackass penguins, so-called because of their donkey-like bray.

Hard not to love them.

Unless of course you live in Betty's Bay. Isn't that right, Barbara?

Look what they've done to the bush, here,

they've killed all the garden!

-Can you kill a garden?

-Barbara seems to think so.

-So, why are the penguins making homes in gardens, anyway?

-Uh...

-Let's ask the

-Prof. Oh, yeah.

Eh... OK... Thanks. Yeah.

Well...

ZAP!

The real problem with Betty's Bay is that it's the only growing

colony of African penguins, and there's no space.

These animals arrived in Betty's Bay...1982, the first time.

They've increased in numbers ever since and started to invade

the areas where people live as well.

-He's very good at this.

-Did it all in one take, you know.

'The penguins of course moved to where they could get more space.'

As soon as the density goes up, they seem to want to move away.

So, as the gardens move further away, they'll move to those gardens.

-There's SO many of them.

-Shhh! We're about to talk about breeding.

-Sorry.

Penguins breed the best in a really nice, dry burrow.

Well, there are no dry, nice burrows, but a little shed is great.

A building is great. Anything which has got a good roof on it - that's

where they're going to nest.

Finding the perfect habitat is key to their breeding success.

And what these guys are looking for is enough room to breed and

nest far away from the rest of the colony.

It's THAT that's brought them into conflict with the locals.

As the penguin colony grew in numbers,

there were so many birds starting to breed in people's gardens...

People found that they were too noisy, too smelly, um...

The guano was killing off their plants.

-Guano?

-Ah, guano. Fancy name for sea bird poo.

Ewww. Wish I hadn't asked.

People just, for some reason,

didn't like having penguins in their garden. It wasn't romantic.

All things said, this population of penguins are thriving.

And it's all thanks to people like Barbara.

Well, their gardens, at least.

-Thanks, Peter. Bye!

-Bye!

-Yeah, see you, mate. Thanks.

-Bye!

-Aw.

What a nice man.

WHIRRR!

-Careful of the rope ladder!

-Arrggh!

CRASH! SPLASH! ROAR!

THUMP!

Owwww! I-I'm all right!

-We have got to get that fixed.

-Yeah.

You know, penguins aren't the only critters to make their

-home sweet home in unexpected places.

-Oh.

In fact, this encounter in the Caribbean caused quite a fright.

ZAP!

The Caribbean. With its perfect beaches and idyllic waters,

the islands of the Bahamas are a dream destination.

But something rather unusual is taking to the water.

SCARY MUSIC PLAYS

All of a sudden, these things were beginning to swim towards the boat.

-ON WALKIE-TALKIE:

-Which way are they?

And I don't know what they are. Why are they in the water?

Oh, my God!

Hey guys, help us out, we're swimming.

I was trying to swim around them quickly and they were

-faster than me.

-Can you see them?

They were shooting every direction, these legs.

SCREAMS AND GASPS

-But they were swimming fast.

-Whoa!

It was one of the most unusual things I've seen in my entire life.

-ZAP!

-Whoa - what was that?

Well, Mike and his friends were on a shark spotting trip.

-So, sharks, then?

-What, with legs?

Er... Uh, maybe not. So, what was it?

-ZAP!

-Oh, my God!

Mike realised that, gliding through the waves towards him were...

swimming pigs.

SQUEAL!

Ha-ha...no.

The world's a crazy place.

You took the words right out of my mouth, Mike.

-I didn't know pigs could swim.

-Again - what he said.

-So, can they?

-Here...

-Play this.

-OK.

-What would you like?

-Erm... Anything in the key of C.

-OK.

-Just get this thing going. You ready?

-Yeah.

HE PLAYS A COMPLEX TUNE Three, two, one...

Paddling pigs have been known for some time.

And they're actually pretty good at it,

as this footage of the late, great Ralph The Swimming Pig shows.

In his heyday in 1970s Texas,

he would enthral up to 350,000 visitors at Aquarena Springs.

And pigs were one of the few animals that don't have

functional sweat glands.

So to cool themselves down, they need to wallow in mud or water.

So it makes sense for them to know how to swim.

HE PLAYS A FINAL CHORD

-Well, hang on, hang on - you said this was in the Caribbean.

-Yup.

The Caribbean famous for its deserted islands and distinct

-lack of pigs.

-Mh-hmm.

-So how did these porcine paddlers, then, end up in paradise?

-Ah...

ZAP!

The theories about how they got here have become local legends.

One theory suggests they could have swum from another inhabited island.

Or, that these Caribbean pigs are descendents of

a few that were once shipwrecked.

No-one knows exactly what happened, but stranded on a Caribbean

island, they've learned a new way to get a free and nutritious meal.

Rather than spend hours digging and searching for food,

they've realised they can get hand-outs from passing boats.

There was lettuce heads, French fries... Just food scraps.

Mmm...

-If I was a pig...

-If?

..I'd probably do the same, because this is a good combo.

It really is! And, I tell you what - Mike would do the same.

MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH

If I was a pig, and I was stranded on a desert island, and I saw a

boat, I don't know if I'd have the brains to just jump in the water,

dodge the sharks, the stingrays...all of those things,

to go out and see if I could get lunch.

Or maybe not.

And it just goes to show - animals really do turn up in the most

unlikely places.

-ZAP!

-Give me that. Was that you?

ZAP!

I knew it!

Just a spot of filming for Naomi's Nightmares Of Nature.

How did...

Shameless plug.

Right, moving on. We've had swimming pigs, penguins in a garden...

But when it comes to strange dwellings,

this next creature trumps them both.

The Great Barrier Reef. Thousands of species live here,

and space is tight.

It can make finding a home pretty tricky.

Even out on the quieter reef-edge,

the exposed sea-bed offers few hiding places.

If you're neither strong nor well-armed,

like this tiny pearl fish,

you'll need to get creative when it comes to looking for shelter.

Perhaps set your sights slightly stranger...

Is that a sea cucumber?

Yup. Not the most glamorous sea creature you'll ever meet,

but it does have the solution to the pearl fishes' accommodation problem.

-ZAP!

-Slightly scared to ask.

Slightly scared to tell you, so, I won't.

I'll let marine biologist Helen Scales set the scene instead.

ZAP!

Pearl fish, they're little fish,

they're quite vulnerable

simply because coral reefs are full of hungry predators.

You mostly would only see them out and about at night-time,

where they go out hunting for plankton, the little creatures

that live in the water column. And then during the day,

they need to find somewhere to hide.

OK, but where does the sea cucumber come in, then, Helen?

So, sea cucumbers have, basically, a hole at the front end

and the back end.

The front end is where the food goes in,

and all sorts of things happen at that back end.

Um, it where they breathe, it's where they will excrete the sand

that they've been eating, any other digestive material will come out.

So, it's a kind of, one-hole-does-many-things.

And therein lies the clue, because the pearl fish makes its cosy

home inside the sea cucumber's bottom.

POP!

Oooh! Oooh, no! No! Aww, no!

It has to be one of nature's weirdest living arrangements.

WHOOSH - POP!

-Ohhh! Are you having a laugh?

-No - for real.

And there's no better place?

-Nope.

-Seems like a BUM deal to me.

-Oh!

-Uh-oh!

-Ew!

-Ew!

-Ewww!

MUSIC: I Can't Tell the Bottom From The Top by Kevin Rowland

Well, if you can imagine those sandy areas next to a coral reef,

there's really nowhere to hide. There's just flat sand.

There aren't many rocks or any other holes or crevices to hide in.

But there are sea cucumbers.

However, whilst the pearl fish may have set its sights on

a potential home, entry isn't always guaranteed.

If a sea cucumber does have an idea that maybe there's

a pearl fish around, it might close up its bottom,

and so for a little while it won't be...open for guests.

-Dare I ask, how does it gain entry to its bottom-y abode?

-Well...

ZAP!

By sticking the tip of its tail into the sea cucumber's rear end,

the pearl fish cuts off its oxygen supply, knowing that the

sea cucumber will have to open up to breathe eventually.

And when it does, it's home sweet home.

Pearl fish really are the worst tenants.

Well, there's just no accounting for some behaviour.

PARP!

Oh!

-Sorry.

-As I was saying...

-Sorry.

-Oh!

-Let me make it up to you.

-Cup of tea and a biscuit.

-Go on, then.

-ZAP! BOTH:

-Whoa!

-It's all right, just press the button again.

-Oh!

-Well done.

-BOTH:

-It's your fault. It's not mine!

Don't worry, guys, I'll sort this out.

Go on, then.

MUSIC: Upside Down by Jack Johnson

# They're wild and weird Wild and weird

# Really really wild And really really weird

# They're wild and weird Wild and weird

# They're really really wild And really really

# Wild and weird

# Wild and weird! #