Grazlax Attacks Wizards vs Aliens

-There's no such thing as aliens.

-Welcome to the Zarantulus.

-We're going to die.

-Not while I'm here.

-How did you do that?

-It was magic, Benny.

-What is that?

-"What?"

"What" will be Randal Moon, guardian of the chamber.

Go, Dad, go!

It's wizards versus aliens.

And I'm ready for them.

Tom!

-TEAM:

-Boo!

What is up with you?

Nothing.

Nothing? Moose just took the ball off you and scored. Moose!

They don't call him that cos he's fast on his feet.

It's just...stuff.

Stuff? And is this "stuff"

why you missed the penalty against Middlebank High on Wednesday?

I can't score every time.

Never seen you miss one before.

You've been hanging out with him a lot lately.

What's the matter? Your footie mates not clever enough for you?

Don't be a plank, Quinn.

Look, it's the Cup Final on Monday.

You'd better dump your "stuff" by then.

You not playing?

How am I supposed to play football with the Nekross up there?

Aliens. I pinch myself every morning.

Still expecting it all to turn out as some mad dream.

Everything's changed, Benny. Everything. I know they're up there.

I know what they're after.

You might be an apprentice wizard, and the Nekross

may like magic, but they're still attacking Earth.

Why don't we tell the Army?

One missile into space, and bye-bye, Nekross.

And if it isn't? Who knows what they'll throw back at Earth?

We have to keep this secret. We have to sort this out.

Wizards. That's what we're here for, to protect the Earth.

This is my fight, Benny.

Fancy coming round mine Saturday?

-I need a hand sorting out my new lab.

-Your lab?!

Yeah. Although I suppose you'd have to meet my parents.

You didn't say anything to them, did you? About the Nekross and me.

Course. And all about your gran's friend the hobgoblin.

And they believed every word.

No! Of course I didn't.

Never knew you were such a wind-up merchant.

-Never knew you were a wizard.

-OK, then, Saturday. Cool.

TWO RESONANT KNOCKS

Chamber of Crowe, open to me.

Reveal yourself on the knock of three.

I will never get over this.

Almost convinced myself this was a dream.

I mean, my brain is telling me it can't be real.

But it is.

It's magic, Benny. It'll blow you away every time.

Ah! Thomas! Very good! And you brought Benny too!

Pickling piskies! The chamber will be infested by the unenchanted!

Oh, Moon, don't be a grumpy goblin! Benny is our friend.

And Randal Moon, mistress, is a hobgoblin! Hob! Hob! Hob!

He'll have been in service to the magical line of Crowe 500 years,

beneath neither daylight nor stars, and still you'll be forgetting!

Of all the things that take flight from my silly old bird brain,

you will never be among them, my oldest, sweetest friend.

Apart from anything, you are so much fun to tease!

Now - the chest!

There's something you wanted to tell me, Gran.

Oh, yes! It's Moon's idea.

A shrouding spell!

I'm sorry. I'm new here. What's a shrouding spell?

He's new here, too.

A shrouding spell will be an enchantment to hide the magic

of wizards all around the world from the sky ship.

Wizards will cast their spells with no fear of the unworld ones

a-spotting them.

But are you up to this, Gran?

Of course not. This is a Spell of Three.

-Spell of Three?

-Three is a special number in magic.

Like, you only get three spells.

And a Spell of Three needs three wizards channelling

their magic into one spell.

You'll be the third wizard, Thomas Clarke,

of the magical line of Crowe.

For me? My own magical robe?

The time will be here! Quickly! Quickly!

Be putting on the robe of magic!

And what do I do?

Just stand quietly, dear. Maybe over there, a little way.

Hear us, we'll be calling on the source

to protect the children of magic

from those beyond the star-glittery heavens.

From the frozen wastes to the wooded lands,

from the mountains that touch the sky

to the seas that kiss the shores of the Neverside.

Protect us and shroud our magic!

ALL: Raa! Shey! Dah!

Is that it? Are we safe?

That's it! At least they won't spot us from space.

But beware - we'll still be vulnerable

when the Nekross are on Earth.

I want more wizards!

Apologies, Father.

Since our encounter with the boy wizard and his family,

word has escaped among the wizard-kind of our presence,

and appetites.

I should have drained him and the old crone

when I had the opportunity.

Do not vex yourself, my father.

I have a stratagem to end your woes.

Really, sister? I cannot wait.

Tom Clarke's scent,

distilled from surfaces he touched aboard the Zarantulus.

Hmm!

And how does this put magic in my belly?

What we need is something to track Tom Clarke.

Something that can't be stopped.

Something determined that will stalk him, trap him,

suck the magic from his shattered bones.

And bring it to you, my father.

Guards - now!

Sister! You have taken this from the zone of quarantine.

-It will serve our purpose.

-This is a stratagem of madness!

Environmental conditions on Earth are safe for its release.

Then do it! Set the Grazlax on the boy wizard

and await his screams.

LAUGHS DEMONICALLY

RASPY ROAR

Hey, Tom!

Katie! What are you up to?

Just doing a job for my dad. Delivering leaflets. Boredom.

Not cool.

Be cooler with two of us.

I'd like to, but I can't. I'm sorry.

No worries.

Wait, you going to Benny's?

I said I'd give him a hand. He's building a lab.

What is it with you two? You've got matey all of a sudden.

Didn't you know? Geeks are cool now.

The only way Benny will be cool is sat in a snowdrift.

Watch he doesn't blow you up.

You must be Tom! I'm Tricia. It's so lovely to meet you!

Really, I can't tell you!

VIOLIN SAWING TUNELESSLY WITHIN

Hello.

Benny's nearly done. That's him practicing.

Bless him.

He's so excited you've come over, Come in, come in!

Do you play the violin, Tom?

No. No.

From the sound of it, neither does Benny.

VIOLIN SCRATCHES PAINFULLY

Tom.

Sorry to interrupt the maestro. Tom, this is Richard.

Hi, Tom. Good to meet you.

Are you a musician, Mr Sherwood?

No, not really, no. And it's Richard.

And Tricia. Do you play any instruments, Tom?

I play a bit of electric guitar.

I hope that's not too noisy for your family.

Would you like some lemonade, Tom? It's homemade.

We don't believe in that chemical bilge-water in the shops.

not good for the grey matter, eh, Benny?

Or there's fresh orange juice. Or peppermint tea?

Benny loves his herbal infusions.

No, thanks, Mrs...Tricia.

Mum and Dad both work in IT.

But apres le travail we do enjoy the transition

from ASCII to accelerando.

Come on, the lab's out back.

Yes, we'll do sandwiches later. Our own bread.

-Organic. You'll love it, Tom.

-Yeah, laters.

He seems such a nice boy. And he's Benny's friend.

At last!

-So, your folks are...

-Embarrassing.

-I was going to say "all right".

-"Embarrassing" is more accurate.

No, they're OK. It's you that drinks the herbal infusions.

Yeah. Funny.

GRUMBLING AND GROWLING

I love them, but they drive me mad.

Everything is organic and chemical-free

-so it doesn't mess up my brain.

-I need a glass of e-numbers

before I can even look at my homework!

And there's all the books and the music lessons. And the quizzes.

-The quizzes?

-Yeah. We have quiz nights.

Quiz nights? Seriously?

It's all to "stimulate" me.

What?

I'm supposed to be gifted.

-What? Like a genius?

-How many times have I blown stuff up at school?

Haven't you wondered why they don't kick me out? Think about it.

Welcome to the shed of dread,

the scene of hideous experiments that could warp the mind. Such as...

It's a telly.

To you it's a telly.

To Mum and Dad it's like the brain cell equivalent of a black hole.

-They don't let you watch TV?

-Come on, they're not the Nekross.

They let me watch TV. As long as it's educational.

So they don't know you've got this,

and this whole lab thing is really a cover-up

so you can come and watch Total Wipeout?

You really are a genius.

GROWLING, ANGUISHED FELINE WAILS

Did you hear something?

CAT YOWLS

Next door's cat.

Mum gets fed up with it messing up her flower beds.

Are you monitoring the Grazlax?

Yes. Readings suggest it has found the boy wizard's scent.

His screams will be loud. And short.

So your parents - are they rich? I mean, that's a big house.

Dad's got his own company. He's a software genius.

Guess that's where I get it from.

You know, I can be a genius too,

and put this whole place together with the click of my fingers.

There's a match on later.

This is my lab - it's a magic-free zone.

Not using magic is a real bore. A-shup-ta!

SNAPPING AND GROWLING

Nekross or no Nekross, you just can't help showing off, can you?

Sorry. It was just instinct.

If the Nekross show up now and you're one spell down,

don't say I didn't tell you.

-CLATTERING

-What was that?

It's just that cat from next door. Stop freaking me out.

I'm not freaking you out. That is.

THUMPING

For a scientist, you can be pretty irrational.

Must be something to do with having a wizard for a mate.

It's just a cat on the roof. Scratching is what cats do.

Doesn't look like any cat to me.

-What the...?

-Leg it!

-Tom!

-Get it off, get it off!

-Don't panic!

-It's got my leg!

-I'm on it!

I've got it!

It's strong!

-What are you doing?! Get rid of it!

-I'm trying to!

Whatever are they playing at down there?

Hockey. I think.

You don't think Benny's friend might be a bit too sporty for him?

Sport is good for a boy.

Reminds him how much more comfortable he is in the classroom.

Pass the piccalilli for me, will you?

What is that?! One of yours or one of theirs?

Goblin or alien?

I can feel magic in anything from the Neverside. That's alien.

The Nekross have sent it. They must have.

Boys! Lunch is ready!

Hurry up!

Boys.

Yes, Dad. Coming!

What are we going to do?

Come on! Sandwiches are curling!

I can't think on an empty stomach!

BANGING AND CLATTERING

So, Tom, your father is a veterinarian?

He must be a very smart man.

Um...never really thought about it.

What about you? When you leave school, what do you want to do?

And please don't say you want to be a footballer.

So many young people these days want to be footballers or actors

or pop stars. It's as if they've forgotten they have brains.

I, um...I'm not sure.

Not sure?

Tom wants to save the world.

Ah! An environmentalist! Tom, that's brilliant. Brilliant!

Yes. We like to do our bit, don't we, darling?

We have a sustainable multi-fuel boiler in the basement, you know.

Oh!

Is everything all right?

I mean, cool. I mean, great!

Yeah. It's really...bangin'.

Plus limonade?

-Please.

-No!

Tom?

I mean, let me.

Oh, thank you, Tom.

-You know, we took Benny to look around Oxford last summer.

-Really?

-Trinity.

-Richard went to Trinity College.

We'd love for Benny to go there too.

And we took some photographs. You must see them, Tom.

Tom doesn't want to see those.

Yes, I do!

I bet they're really...distracting.

Excellent. I'll get them out.

You should go and help him, Mum. You know what Dad's like.

He's a mathematical genius,

but he couldn't match up a pair of socks to save his life!

-It's going to get out!

-We've got to get rid of your mum and dad.

-We can't let them see what's down there.

-How?

Have you got a gran?

Or someone on the other side of the city that they worry about?

I've got a great uncle Clarence.

Why? No. You're not casting spells over my mum and dad.

Then you give me a better idea.

Do it!

Meesch-enfar-dah!

We've had a call. Your great uncle Clarence has flooded the house.

-I never even heard the phone.

-You know what he's like.

You boys can look after yourselves, can't you?

Don't eat too much piccalilli. You know what it does to your insides!

Bye, baby boy!

When they come back

maybe you can use your last spell of the day to make them cooler?

-It's out!

-Mum and Dad!

Don't worry, sweetheart, I'm sure he'll be all right.

-Look after him, Tom?

-Yeah. Sure.

-Be good, boys.

At least they're safe.

It's in the house!

It's gone upstairs.

Boy, you really are a genius.

-Where are you going?

-OK, maybe not such a genius.

-We need a plan.

-Find it. Deal with it.

-Football's on the telly at three.

-That's what wizards call a plan?

Who needs a plan when you've got magic?

Maybe it's hiding - could be more scared of us than we are of it?

It didn't look all that scared to me.

Typical defensive reflex. A dog doesn't bite you because it's mean.

-It's because it's scared.

-Look, if you want to put it on a couch

and ask it questions about growing up as an ankle-snapper, fine.

But first we're going to fix it so it can't bite our arms off.

CLATTERING

That was my room.

Quietly.

Be careful.

Watch out!

Nice one!

Quick! Under here!

Not good!

What now?!

IT SCREAMS

Maifash-andwy dah!

-Gotcha!

-Gotcha?! That thing bit through my tennis racket,

wrecked my bed! How long will a wicker basket hold it?

Long enough to call my dad so we can work out what to do!

He's a vet, not an exterminator!

I don't believe it! I've got no credit.

It's getting out! What are you doing?!

-It's getting out!

-That's a Sugoi Kinzoku Robot!

-A what?

-It's rare!

-You really are a geek!

It's no good! It's getting out!

Run for it!

-Think that'll keep it out?

-Who knows?

THUMPING ON DOOR

FOOTSTEPS PATTER AWAY

-I think it's gone.

-A thing like that?

I don't think it just goes.

I've used up all my spells and it's got us trapped.

We need help.

GROWLING AND SNARLING

-Well?

-It's cut the phone off.

Whatever that thing is, it's smart. We are in big trouble.

Mum and Dad won't be at Uncle Clarence's forever,

not when they find out nothing's wrong. What are we going to do?

THUMPING FROM THE WALLS

What was that?

Whatever it is, it's not good.

CREAKING AND CRUMBLING

What's it doing?

It's in the wall!

-What? How can it be in the wall?

-Listen to it!

-It's not in the wall.

-It's in the chimney!

The chimneys must be connected!

IT SCREAMS

Do something!

-What do we do now?

-I don't know!

-Come on, then, Nibbles. You want some of this?

-It's just a hairdryer.

Well, maybe it doesn't know that.

HAIRDRYER WHIRRS INTO LIFE

Yes! You don't like that, do you, Nibbles?

SIREN SOUNDS

What is happening?

The body temperature of the Grazlax is increasing. Rapidly.

What?! I don't understand!

Nor do I. But I'm reading major metabolic irregularities!

How's that for a blow-dry?

Well, let's really turn up the heat.

The body temperature is intensifying.

Vital signs are turning critical. I've seen nothing like this before.

It's backing off.

It's like the hot air is drying it out.

Not such a chompy chappy now, are you?

That should hold him for a while.

I am reading intense molecular instability.

Massive biological reactions.

What is happening to the Grazlax?

So now we have to work out what we're going to do with it.

-WAILING AND SQUELCHING

-What is that?

I don't even want to guess.

SILENCE

-Well?

-You've got the enquiring mind.

-Maybe some things you just don't want to know.

-It's your bathroom.

-I can't hear anything.

-Come out of the way.

Do it.

-I think it died.

-It's like it exploded.

Or something exploded out of him.

WHIMPERING AND SNARLING

It didn't explode. It had kids!

There are three of them now!

How can there be three of them?

Cellular division.

Like an amoeba. They don't have to breed to multiply,

-they can just break apart.

-Ah, great timing(!)

Something must have set it off.

The hairdryer! The heat started a biological reaction.

-Like a crocodile.

-A what?

Crocodiles have to be a certain temperature before they can breed.

Shame it's not a crocodile!

It even broke through the door!

Not that way!

-Think this will keep them out?

-Will anything?

At least there's no fireplace in here.

I wouldn't put it past them to chew through the bricks to get at us.

You're really cheering me up(!)

You know dust is made up of mostly dead skin cells and insect poo?

Any other good news?

I do not understand what has happened to the Grazlax.

They are under a different sun, brother.

I have taken another Grazlax from the Zone of Quarantine

and shall simulate Earth conditions at the point we lost contact.

Observe.

You need to increase pollutant levels another four marks, sister.

Indeed. And increasing temperature as indicated by the sensors.

The experiment begins.

ROARING, CRASHING

I'm reading the same bio-critical indicators.

Soon we shall see what happened on Earth.

ROARING, THEN STATIC

What happened?

That electro-magnetic energy flash has destroyed the lights.

Guard! Investigate!

GRAZLAX SNARLS

It seems we have a problem, sister.

I advise we do not lose our heads.

If only I still had some magic.

These things could be like the Nekross.

Magic might not have any effect.

You know Quinn and Katie? They think I've gone weird.

Well, you're a wizard.

And there are snappy aliens all over the house

and a saucer full of spacemen who want to get fat on magic.

How weird can it get?

Yeah. It's freaky.

You know, the really weird thing is,

I'm sort of enjoying it.

Or I was, till we got the gnashing nasties trashing my house.

-And they think

-I've

-gone weird.

Like a wizard isn't weird?

Do you know what really is weird?

For a science freak, you're not so bad.

Cheers.

You don't understand magic or anything, but...

Do you? Like, why is it you only get three spells a day?

I keep telling you, the laws of magic are different

-to the laws of science.

-Yeah, they don't make any sense.

Not to an Unenchanted like you.

I mean, especially like you. You're a science nut.

Everything has to be logical.

Magic isn't about logic.

It's something you sense, you feel.

It still has an effect on the physical world.

You put furniture together with a click of your fingers.

If there's an effect, there has to be a cause.

That's physics, Tom, like it or not.

See, that's what's great.

You don't understand the first thing about magic,

but I can talk to you about it

and I've never had that before.

-There's your dad and your gran.

-That's not what I mean.

Every other friend,

everyone at school, I have to be someone else.

Not a wizard.

And that's like hiding what I am. Hiding me.

You should try being a geek.

RUMBLING, WATER BUBBLES

What was that?

It came from the overflow tank.

SPLASHING, SNARLING

-There's one in here!

-It must have come up through the pipes.

-In through the tank.

-They can do that? Fit into a water pipe?

-Climb up it?

-You tell me.

AND you're out of magic!

Where's it gone?!

What are you doing?

I think we know a hairdryer isn't going to fix anything.

Maybe there's another way of doing this.

We could communicate.

Yeah. We're going to talk cricket.

They're obviously intelligent. Maybe we can reason with it.

JACK-IN-THE-BOX SQUEALS

SPLASH!

It's gone back the way it came.

It ran away? Why?

Never mind that.

-This is hot. Dad's eco-boiler has come on.

-Oh.

It multiplied when it got hot.

And now they're planning on raising a family?

If those things keep reproducing, we are in some serious trouble.

What if it gets out of the house?

We've got to turn that boiler off. Where is it?

The basement.

Spectacular.

WHISPERS: That's the basement door.

If those things are smart enough to turn on a boiler...

That's bad, that's really bad.

Only one way to find out.

You've got the cricket bat.

GRAZLAX ROARS

POPPING, SQUELCHING

They've reproduced again.

There's nine of them now.

THEY ROAR

Run!

The attic!

DOORBELL RINGS

-There's someone at the door!

-Come on!

Why did they stop chasing us?

No way! It can't be!

DOORBELL CONTINUES

DOORBELL STOPS

Hello?

Benny?

Tom?

Hello? Are you in there?

She's supposed to be delivering leaflets.

Only she knows I'm here.

And she's come to say hello?

Suppose.

Like it's impossible she's come to see me?

I'm just saying. It's my house.

Maybe she'll just give up and go.

You know, when we came in,

I can't remember if I shut the front door.

What if she walks in?

On a house full of aliens with razor blades for teeth?

We've got to do something.

Hello?

SNARLING

Hello?

Hello?

You're going to have to distract them.

GRAZLAX SNARLS

Tom? Benny? Is that you?

Are you playing about in there?

Hey, boys!

Come and get your Benny burger!

What's going on in there?

Katie! What are you doing here?

What a surprise. I mean, nice surprise. Obviously.

Hey!

Hey... What's going on in there?

Hmm? Oh, in there? Nothing.

But I heard something. Like an animal.

Oh! That'll be Benny's...

dog.

It didn't sound like a dog.

It doesn't. It's a rare breed.

It's a...

a gnash...nauser.

-A gnashnauser?

-Mmm.

-Are you winding me up?

This is such a bad idea!

-Get off! >

-Benny.

He loves that furry ball of teeth and claws.

Leave me alone!

I'm more of a cat person.

The bag's my little sister's. But nice try.

BENNY SCREAMS

How many of these do you have to deliver?

Three more bags. Dad wants to make a big noise about his new shop.

That's going to take you all day.

Be faster and more fun with two of us.

-That's true.

-I'll buy us a pizza as a thank you.

I'm sorry. I can't.

Oh. OK. No problem.

I mean... I'd love to. Honestly.

Look, you've got stuff to do with Benny. I get it. It's no big deal.

Look, Katie, I'm sorry. It's just...

You know, it's Benny. He hasn't got any proper mates

and I don't want him thinking that I've ditched him.

Oh, no!

POPPING

-Tom!

-He kind of needs me right now.

-Well, he's lucky having you as a friend.

-Mm-hm!

Rrrgh!

Have the Grazlaa from your "experiment" been dealt with?

They were vented into space.

But with the data from my experiment, we have re-calibrated the sensors.

The Grazlaa have reproduced on Earth again

and according to our projections, will continue to do so.

Impossible. The Grazlaa require volcanic heat to multiply.

Apparently not in Earth's environment.

Our projections show that within 24 hours,

there will be 5.4 million Grazlaa.

They will destroy everything and everyone.

I sought only to use the Grazlax to rid ourselves of the boy wizard.

Instead, I have destroyed the last source of magic in the universe.

The Nekross shall feast no more.

We must take action immediately.

The Zarantulus can exterminate the threat

with a blast from the ion pulse cannon.

Destroy the habitation? The entire house?

And the immediate area around it.

To be sure of total eradication.

There will be human deaths,

including the Halfling wizard, but what of that?

Do it! Put the Zarantulus into full battle mode!

As the King commands, so it is done.

ENGINES RUMBLE

Can you hear anything?

Nothing.

-I can't believe you shut them in

-there.

With the boiler! You are supposed to be the clever one.

They were chasing me at the time!

While you were chatting up Katie.

I was not chatting her up!

SNARLS, POPPING

They're reproducing like micro-organisms.

One becomes three, three becomes nine.

Nine becomes 27.

27 becomes...

We're in big trouble.

If they get out of this house and keep multiplying,

the whole world is in trouble.

We've got to get to that boiler and turn it off!

It's Dad's eco-boiler. It's like a furnace.

You can't just flick a switch.

We have to find a way.

SNARLING

-Well?

-It's like a nest.

-How big a nest?

-Big. There are loads of them.

It's so hot down there. They must be reproducing faster.

We're not going to get to the boiler, are we?

-Only if we get them away from it.

-And how are we going to do that?

Do your mum and dad like opera?

What are you doing?

-Something you want to tell me?

-Again. What are you doing?

When Katie was at the door, they killed the doorbell.

DOORBELL RINGS

Remember up in the attic? That jack-in-the box went off.

It made a screaming noise and the ankle-snapper ran off.

JACK-IN-THE-BOX SQUEALS

-What if they don't like high-pitched sounds?

-Yeah!

The army has ultra-high frequency weapons, sonic weapons,

-that can knock people off their feet.

-Shame we don't have one.

We'll have to make do with opera. That's full of screeching, isn't it?

They can break glass with their voices.

Imagine what they can do to those things!

Approaching Earth.

Soon we will be within range.

Ready?

Ready.

Three...

BOTH: Two...one...

There are loads of them!

We're running out of time. Let them have it.

MUSIC: "Ride of the Valkyries"

GRAZLAA HOWL

It's working! They hate it!

Turn it up! Give them more!

SINGING GETS LOUDER, HIGHER

You've done it, Benny! You've done it!

SINGING STOPS

-What happened?

-They cut the power!

Go! Go!

-That won't hold them for long.

-We can get out through the window!

No, we can't. They're going to get through the door,

then the window. We can't let them reach the outside world.

CRASHING They're getting in! We're finished!

Battle mode at maximum.

I'm sorry, Benny. This is all my fault.

The Nekross are after wizards, not Unenchanted.

If you hadn't been my friend, you wouldn't be here now.

Typical.

I finally get a friend, and he gets me eaten by aliens.

-We've still got one more sonic weapon!

-What? There's no power!

-We don't need power. We just need you!

-What?

Here!

And this! I'm out of credit, but I have an amp app

for my electric guitar. That will still work!

You play and we blast 'em through my phone.

-What? I can't play this!

-That's the point!

-You're right!

We'll get feedback.

-The Larsen effect!

-I don't care what it's called,

but double the screeching sounds good to me!

You're going to be our sonic weapon, Benny!

You're going to be our sonic weapon.

Engaging ion pulse cannon.

CANNON WHINES

BENNY PLAYS BADLY

DOOR SPLINTERS

HIGH-PITCHED BUZZING

Come on, Benny. Hit that note!

VIOLIN SCREECHES, HIGHER AND HIGHER

Whoa!

Gross!

Let's get the rest of them!

Targeting now.

MUSIC: "1812 Overture"

-Now

-that's

-how you play violin!

Maximum pulse in five...

four...three...

-two...

-No. Wait!

The Grazlaa readings have ceased.

-What?

-They've been destroyed.

Abort and retreat! Now!

What am I going to tell my parents?

I've got an idea.

They were bogles, you say?

No, Gran. They were aliens.

The Nekross sent them. They must have.

They sound like bogles.

This looks like the work of bogles.

Nasty, chompy, nasty things.

No, Gran. Bogles are from the Neverside.

These were from another planet.

Oh! Life used to be so much simpler

when all we had to worry about was goblins and dragons.

Are you sure about this? I mean, I know she's your gran,

but isn't she a bit... well, unpredictable?

It's either this or...

I don't know, have you got any ideas?

Right, then, a major spring cleaning spell, I think.

Please, Gran, we need you to really concentrate.

Everything, and I mean everything,

has to be put back the way it was before the ankle-snappers showed up.

I know. Now, give me some room.

Spree falow dah!

That's not right.

Not right at all.

Sorry.

We'll get there, don't worry.

Spree fasha allah dah!

Oh. No.

Oh. I must be hungry.

Nothing like missing your tea and afternoon cake

to make the mind wander.

Quick. Before the neighbours see!

No! Take your time, Mrs Crowe.

Concentrate. Please. Concentrate really, really hard.

This is your third spell.

You have to get it right, or I'm toast.

Then maybe I ought to magic up some jam and butter, instead?

Ye of little faith.

Sprash afalla waan dah!

-Ta-da!

-Gran, you are brilliant!

If only I could get the Chamber tidied up like this.

-Your robot's back in one piece, then.

-Kind of.

It looks perfectly fine to me.

Are you doubting my magic, young man?

This was a Sugoi Kinzoku copy.

The real ones are really rare, worth about a grand.

-So?

-So it's not a copy any more.

-It's a real one.

-Are you sure?

-I'm a geek. Of course I'm sure.

-So why aren't you looking happy?

Most of these things, they're not the real thing. Or they weren't.

But look at this.

If it's genuine, it will have a Kang Xi reign mark on the base,

which it has!

It's worth millions!

Don't worry, Benny!

Just make sure your parents never look at any of these too closely.

Now, I'm off to find a cup of tangleweed tea.

Moon had better have the cauldron on.

I'd better go, too. Think I need a shower.

Yeah. Me, too. Before Mum and Dad get back.

-See you Monday?

-See you Monday.

And, Tom, there's no need to be sorry.

I mean, for getting me into all of this.

-Wizards and aliens.

-And nearly getting eaten?

Yeah, that would've been a downer.

Still, you did come and help me with the lab.

-Thanks.

-That's what friends are for, isn't it?

Gran! Wait for me!

So, the Grazlaa,

who have devoured worlds,

were destroyed by a Halfling wizard?

He may be a Halfling, but clearly Tom Clarke

is a formidable wizard and enemy of the Nekross.

We almost lost this planet because of your lack of knowledge.

Yes, Father,

and I shall make it my mission to study their ways in detail.

We must accelerate the master plan!

Yes, my father, we shall yet strip Earth of its magic.

Every last centillium.

The boy wizard cannot stop us. No-one can!

The Nekross shall feast!

Yes, the Nekross shall feast!

The Nekross shall feast!

You want magic?

-You were using magic to do your homework?

-What? Where are we?

I'm so sick of our responsibilities as wizards.

You hang around with that little nerd, the school's biggest sad case.

-You'd better let him go.

-Who are you?

-I'm Jackson Hawke.

-This is Benny.

-You hang out with an Unenchanted?

What we've got is so fantastic, because what we've got is power.

-Why are you doing what he tells you?

-Who will you choose?

A wizard with such power - just imagine what he can do.

Now that's magic.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd