Vice Versa Wizards vs Aliens

According to the Network of Mirrors,

there's something here that shouldn't be.

And it's our job to send it back to the Neverside before

it causes any mischief, or attracts the attention of you know who.

Somebody, or something, is home.

Let's go and find out what.

CRAZED LAUGHTER

-This is like walking into Great Expectations.

-(Quiet, Benny.)

Moon said there's Neverside magic here

and we've got no idea what it is.

-It could be all sorts of nightmare stuff.

-It's true.

And Moon does have a nose for trouble.

Those ears don't do him any favours, either.

CRAZED LAUGHTER

It's here!

Creature of the Neverside,

show yourself in the name of the magical line of Crowe.

HE LAUGHS

Ooh! You stare and gawp, it's very sad.

Careful or it'll turn out bad.

He's a bit full of himself for a little guy.

Yeah, maybe, but I can feel the magic in him. It's intense.

He certainly is a powerful little fellow.

Even my toes are tingling.

I did not know how much you cared. A welcome party you've prepared.

Creature of the Neverside,

you have strayed beyond the Line of Twilight and I command you, be gone!

Your jibber-jabber makes no sense.

Bum burps would cause me less offence.

He's got a colourful turn of phrase, whatever he is.

I am Squiggley, don't be coy. Now you've met a Hobbledehoy.

A Hobbledehoy! They're really rare...

..and from what I recall, entirely troublesome, too.

Ha-ha!

HE LAUGHS

He seems harmless enough.

All you're saying sounds like tripe.

You'll make some sense or shut your pipe.

-What's with all the limericks?

-Maybe he does it just for kicks!

Oh! At last you tumble just in time.

To talk to Squiggley, you must rhyme.

Oh, I get it.

For him to understand what we say, every sentence has to rhyme.

Speak in rhyme? What, all the time?

Oh, dear. It's so complicated doing a banishment back to the Neverside,

never mind doing it in verse.

HE SNIFFS

You're Unenchanted, so are you,

but wizard blood flows through you two.

Yes, we're wizards, with a task.

Will you go home? I have to ask.

Oh, well done, Tom!

Your verse is clumsy but I hear you don't want poor Squiggley near.

It's not just that, you have to flee. It's dangerous...

..because of me!

Ah!

Leave him alone!

Such a small creature

with such a unique and powerful energy signature

that defies even your wizard shrouding.

Leave it alone, Tom Clarke? You jest.

And now I have a bonus.

Two wizards for the extractor, as well.

Keep your paws off my family!

HE GRUNTS

Please take your fight out of this place.

We won't have that in Squiggley's space!

Open the door! Open up!

And now, the Nekross shall feast.

To point at people's very rude. You risk disturbing Squiggley's mood.

-Go!

-Open up!

-You've got to get yourself out of here!

This Nekross is...!

This Nekross is a thing to fear!

HE LAUGHS

-Remain still. I shall not warn you again.

-Open up!

This oaf does not make me afraid. You all will soon regret this raid.

Wait, we're all on your side.

You must be taught why not to toy with this mighty Hobbledehoy.

What are you doing? Stop!

HE GRUNTS

HE LAUGHS

Tom!

Ursula!

They'll find their lives are greatly changed,

now Squiggley's had them rearranged.

What? What's that supposed to mean? What have you done to them?

HE LAUGHS

-What happened?

-Never mind right now.

Let's get out of here before Varg gets back on his feet.

Oh, my brain...

Squiggley did a vanishing act and good riddance, if you ask me.

If there's one thing we can do without, it's a rapping goblin.

One thing I can't do without is breakfast.

No-one should do Hobbledehoys and Nekross on an empty stomach.

I could eat a horse, just like that.

HORSE NEIGHS

Benny...?

You've got magic.

I don't get it. How can I have Magic?

I've no idea, Benny dear.

I've never heard of such a thing.

An Unenchanted suddenly having magic?

Whatever next? This is something to do with that wretched Hobbledehoy.

I knew I should have blasted him the moment I laid eyes on him.

Steady on, Ursula. I didn't think wizards blasted anything.

Don't they?

I'm off to the chamber.

I need to talk to Moon.

I'm coming, too. I want to hear what he says.

Sorry, Benny, but until I know what's happened to you,

I don't want any strange magic in the chamber.

Don't worry, mate. It'll be all right.

Course I'll be all right. I'm Benny Sherwood and I've got magic.

Benny, no!

Oh, no!

Sorry!

Benny, as one Unenchanted to another, lay off the Magic.

-Sorry, Mr Clarke, but let me just fix it.

-No, Benny!

You don't know anything about magic.

You can't just click your fingers and hope for the best.

It's all right, Tom. I've got it now. It's all about concentration

-and I'm a genius, remember? Don't be such a chicken.

-No!

CHICKEN SQUAWKS

Yeah, genius(!)

You have to train, Benny. You have to focus.

You can't spell-cast just like that. That's why wizards use words.

There's something wrong.

I can't get into the chamber.

I've tried three times, but...nothing.

I don't understand it. I've been knocking on the chamber door

since I was seven years old and it's never refused me. Never.

Let me have a go.

Chamber of Crowe, open to me.

Reveal yourself on the knock of three.

This isn't good, is it?

You try.

What? Me? But...

Chamber of Crowe, open to me.

Reveal yourself on the knock of three.

Spectacular.

Hanging bats and banshee chats, something will be amiss.

Mistress...your magic!

The magic of the line of Crowe! And the young master, too!

Your magic, the magic of Crowe will have gone!

My magic? I can't just lose my magic.

Kabradah!

Kabradah!

It's true.

There's nothing there, I can feel it.

I felt it since we left the castle but I didn't...

but I didn't know what it was.

And mine's gone, too.

It's all gone into me?

No...

..not all.

Randal Moon will be feeling the magic in you, imp,

but it will be the young master's only, not of the Mistress Crowe.

Then what's happened to mine?

Nothing. Well, thank goodness for that, anyway.

Well, then, the only other person that was there...

Varg.

Oh, dear.

This creature stunned you with its magic, enabling it to escape?

Forgive the shame I bring on you, oh Might of Nekron,

yet this Hobbledehoy was extremely powerful...

for a little fellow.

Indeed, you do not seem quite yourself, my brother.

Perhaps this "little fellow" has hurt you more than you would admit.

The scent of magic still clings to you.

I am perfectly fit for duty, sister,

and more than capable of capturing this creature

and extracting its magic.

Then the Nekross shall feast!

Good. The magic that clings to you makes me hunger, my son.

Makes me ravenous.

Indeed. It is...intoxicating.

Then allow me to take my leave, father...

..and attempt to re-acquire a sensor-lock on the Hobbledehoy,

so that you may feed.

Yes, my son. Be gone and bring me its magic!

As the King commands, so it is done.

And, Varg, if I were you, I would bathe, as well.

That scent of magic is so pungent.

I would hate to lose control and eat you.

SHE LAUGHS

That is...just amazing.

I'm glad you can feel it.

You asked what it was like to get three new spells...

and now you know.

It's like...

like every cell of my body was on fire, but in a good way!

I reckon it's the solar energy

that triggers some sort of bio-cellular reaction.

Come again?

It's like humans make 90% of the Vitamin D

we need directly from Ultraviolet B exposure from the sun.

Hang on, do you know what you're saying? That's me.

That's Benny Sherwood talking, not Tom Clarke.

You're right. You haven't just got my magic, I've got your smarts.

It's like your dad said - we've been rearranged.

You know, this can be kind of cool.

I mean, I've always wondered what it would be like to be a brainiac,

just like you've wondered about magic.

It's kind of an experiment...

..and I can't believe how cool I think that sounds.

As long as your gran can find a way to switch us back again in the end.

But hang on, if we've swapped what makes us us,

that means Varg's swapped with...

Your gran.

I don't keep you in bread and milk for the fun of it.

You're supposed to give me answers when I need them.

Ursula, just leave him alone.

HE STRAINS

I don't know what came over me.

I'm really not feeling myself - not at all. Oh, dear.

It's Varg, gran.

The Hobbledehoy switched your essence for Varg's.

-COMPUTER:

-Invalid command.

What? Ridiculous.

Invalid command. Please identify by voiceprint command.

It's me, you silly whatsit, Varg!

Identification confirmed. Varg, Prince of Nekron...

-"Whatsit" does not compute.

-What?

"Whatsit" does not compute.

I heard you! Of course it does not compute, it is gibberish.

-Affirmative.

-What's wrong with me?

Ever since I returned from Earth,

it has been like thinking through fudge cake...

..and I do not even know what fudge cake is.

Get a grip, Varg.

Sensor control, commence a total Earth scan for the...

What's the blessed word?

It's on the tip of my tongue. It's... It's...

CHICKEN SQUAWKS

What is this?

Some attack by the wizards?

HE SNIFFS

Sensors have isolated source of magic - Varg, Prince of Nekross.

Impossible! I am Nekross, not...

The Hobbledehoy, this is its doing.

And my sister has already sensed the magic in me.

The Hobbledehoy. You must locate the Hobbledehoy again.

-Affirmative.

-It must reverse this enchantment

or the Nekross will feast...on me.

CHICKEN SQUAWKS

Mistress, mistress, there will be something in the dusty tomes.

The book will be saying,

only a Hobbledehoy will be undoing its own magical mischief.

Then we need to summon it back. The stratagem is obvious!

Yes, Mistress. Randal Moon will be a-searching

-the Library of Crowe for a summoning potion.

-Come on, hop to it!

Meanwhile, me and Benny have a date with a chemistry exam.

Are you serious? You're talking about going to school after all this?

Yeah.

Oh, of course you are. I forgot, you're me.

Varg, how does the scan for the Hobbledehoy Magic progress?

The...scan is in process.

Now, I must...be on my way.

Toodle-oo!

I beg your pardon, brother.

I mean, I... I must dash.

SHE SNIFFS

Computer, perhaps you can tell me what my brother has been up to.

CHICKEN SQUAWKS

Five minutes, everyone!

SHOUTING OUTSIDE

WHISTLE BLOWS

BELL RINGS

I hardly even had to think.

I just saw the question and the answer was just there, like that.

Like magic.

Yeah, like magic.

It's cool to be smart, isn't it?

Whereas every time I looked at a chemical equation,

-all I saw was a different footie formation.

-Stupid machine.

These are actually pretty clever robots. Simple, but clever.

They use electromagnetic fields to recognise the coins you put in.

You sound like Benny.

COMPUTER BEEPS

CHILDREN SHOUT EXCITEDLY

I think this one is yours.

-Thank you, Benny. That was quite a catch.

-So are you.

We've got to go. Come on, Benny!

Catch you later, Katie.

What was all that about? Using magic?

And Katie?

I don't know. It's sort of fun being you, isn't it?

And anyway, Katie dumped you.

Thanks for reminding me...

and that was not being me.

I am not that cheesy.

Tell me, is there news of the scan for the Hobbledehoy, my dear?

My what? My who?

I'm sorry my exquisite excellency, did you just call me my dear?

I said, Technician Jathro 15 of Subsection Alpha Grex Nine,

darling boy.

Please take no offence

at my brother's lapse in etiquette, technician.

Since he was attacked by the Hobbledehoy creature,

I fear he has not quite been himself.

Nonsense. I am perfectly well. Entirely tickety-boo.

I perceive you have been so busy,

you have still not found the time to rid yourself of its magical musk.

There is much to be done in the name of our father.

This magical residue that clings to you so strongly reminds me

of the story of Prince Vathallion.

Such a tragic tale.

I have no memory or time for the wet-nurse tales

of the royal hatcheries.

Prince Vathallion was a great warrior of ancient Nekron,

Technician Jathro,

who was bewitched by an alien wizard of enormous power.

I see...

In what way, my excellency?

He was cursed...with magic.

Powerful magic.

And magic in the blood of a Nekross is the most potent,

most intoxicating magic in all the universe.

And Prince Vathallion's own sisters fell upon him

in a frenzy of feeding that did not end

until they had sucked the very last magic from his broken bones.

Imagine that, Varg, to be consumed by your own sister.

I have no time for bedtime stories.

There is work to be done.

Dad'll be picking us up in ten minutes' time.

Then, with a bit of luck,

we'll get everything the right way round for this afternoon.

Yeah, I suppose. But won't you miss being smart?

Not as much as I miss magic.

A wizard is what I am, Benny.

Being a genius is what you are.

Though...I have to admit,

I never thought being a geek would feel so...cool.

Wahey!

Sorry, Benny. I thought I heard you calling for the ball.

It's OK, Quinn. I thought I heard you crying for your bottle.

Whoa!

Whoa! Benny bites back.

Like I'm done yet.

LAUGHTER

(That's another spell you've wasted!)

Not as far as I'm concerned.

What the heck?!

Tom, on your head!

What?

Look at Benny's skills!

Have you been coaching him or what?

So who wants a game, then?

What's got into Benny today?

I dunno. Guess it must be that old Tom Clarke magic rubbing off on him.

Are we OK?

Yeah.

Sorry.

Idiot, come on.

I'm just glad the chemistry exam is out of the way.

I mean, why do hydrocarbons with small molecules make better fuels

than hydrocarbons with big molecules? What's that all about?

Smaller molecules have a low boiling point. They flow quickly.

They're more volatile and ignite easily.

SHE LAUGHS

Wow! You and Benny really have been spending a lot of time together!

I suppose so.

We've got a physics exam next week.

We could revise together...

if you like.

Yes, I'd like.

Cool.

What's got into you, Benzoid? You never said you could play.

Don't have to tell you everything...Quinnster.

There's a five-a-side game tonight, if you're up for it.

Yeah, I'll see if I can fit you in.

That was amazing! I mean, Quinn's asked me to play.

-Me! I'm popular!

-Yeah, and I even got a study date with Katie.

But now I guess it's time to put things straight again.

Get a move on! I've got business to finish with that Hobbledehoy!

Have you seen my brother, Technician?

Not since you told your entertaining story earlier, exquisite excellency.

Is all well?

It will be, soon, but first we must capture the Hobbledehoy.

I have installed a teleport relay system into the extractor.

The instant our scanners lock on to it again,

you will beam it there directly.

These are the creature's last co-ordinates.

The hobgoblin assures me this chemical preparation will

assist in summoning it back to this dimension.

So...what happens now?

-Read this, then strike the staff on the floor.

-Me?

I don't see any other wizards, do you?

Go on, Benny.

You can do it.

Hear my summons and do not hide,

he who lives on the Neverside.

Do my bidding and come to me, the Hobbledehoy called Squiggley!

Huh? Ah!

It worked! Spectacular!

Who so dares to summon Squiggley? Be prepared to suffer quickly.

All we ask is that you reverse

this changing, swapping, crazy curse.

-If you think that curse is bad, you ain't seen nothing yet, my lad!

-No!

Huh? Argh!

The Nekross have got him.

Now we're really in trouble.

Release me now or feel my rage. A Hobbledehoy you do not cage.

Rage all you like, Hobbledehoy!

You are trapped, held powerless by the extractor's magical dampers.

To think my brother's fate is sealed by nothing more than

a head on two feet.

I have much I should thank you for, Hobbledehoy.

I cannot understand your speech, but pity Squiggley, I beseech!

Of course.

My research revealed the rhyming nature of your communication.

These words for you are but tragic.

Now we will extract the magic!

HE SCREAMS

Sister! No! Stop the extraction!

Oh, sorry Varg. Perhaps I should have given you a heads-up.

Lexi, what have you done?

What is that?

It's Squiggley. The Nekross have extracted his magic.

-That's all that's left of him?

-Yeah.

And with no Hobbledehoy to reverse its spell,

that means we are stuck like this...

..forever!

Father...

I accuse my brother of contamination.

He has been corrupted...

by Magic!

-No!

-Lexi, what do you mean? Make yourself clear!

Can you not smell it, father? That musk of Magic?

Magic in Nekross blood? Impossible!

But, Father! Lexi is beguiled. By Tom Clarke.

She seeks to divide us and destroy us!

I would throw her to the Skorpulus, like that!

BANG

CHICKENS SQUAWK

My son, a monstrous wizard?

Guards! Get him!

Guards, save the House of Nekron and your King!

Eradicate him!

CHICKENS SQUAWK

What is this obsession with chickens?

Smoking bones and dragon stones,

these will be tidings to make even a troll sob.

The Hobbledehoy will be no more!

Come on.

We'll find something in the Library of Crowe to fix this.

Or it won't be a Hobbledehoy that gets skinned!

Mistress! Mistress! Randal Moon will be needing his skin.

It'll be holding all of his insides in!

Well, I don't know about anyone else, but I need a brew.

And none of that tangleweed muck. Lads?

-No, thanks, Mr Clarke.

-I'll leave the door open.

Give me a shout if they find anything.

Are you all right?

This was a laugh before,

but now Squiggley's gone, I'm stuck like this.

Me, too, you know.

Yeah, I know. But what I've lost...

It's more than Magic.

I got Magic from my mum.

It was something really special that we had together.

And since she died, it's the last connection I've got with her.

And now...it's gone.

Tom, listen. I'm sorry.

I didn't ask for this to happen, but it has.

I'm trying to make the best of it.

Yeah, I saw. You like it, don't you?

Doing spells, playing football with Quinn, showing off to Katie!

Says the kid who just aced his science exam!

Oh, yeah, cos that makes up for everything(!)

I was born a wizard, Benny! It's who I am! Not a...

science geek!

Look!

I've put up with that all my life and I don't have to take it any more.

Maybe it's better this way,

maybe I can use Magic to do some good, some real good in the world?

and not waste it like you have!

You don't know anything about Magic.

You're a sad Unenchanted who had to steal my life to get a life!

Shut up!

BANG

Benny! Wait!

I'm sorry!

Where are you going?

Getting on with my new life -

playing football with Quinn, remember?!

Benny, your nose is bleeding.

Yeah! Like you care(!)

What on earth's going on?

There, that should keep the nasty blighters out... What am I saying?

The hag.

Ursula of the Magical Line of Crowe, it is your essence that poisons me.

I can feel you in here!

You must help me become Prince of Nekron once more!

HE GROWLS

Disable the teleport!

I have done so already, Father.

ROBOTIC VOICE: Power to teleport withdrawn.

Power to teleport withdrawn.

But I am not yet jiggered.

Perhaps the hag's Magic will save me.

Now Magic deserts me! Tish and poo!

Earth wizards have only three spells a day,

it seems the same is true of Varg.

We have him trapped.

Surely we should try to help him. He is of the Royal line.

No, Varg is lost. That thing in his shape is an abomination.

And food for the people of Nekron.

I will convince you once and for all, Father!

Engage the Trion Drive!

You and Benny will sort it out.

But what if we can't sort out the Hobbledehoy spell?

What if we can't all swap back?

We've got something!

An entry on Hobbledehoys!

"A creature of mischief and mayhem alike, meagre in stature

"but ample in enchantment.

"Take heed - all of its facets are dual in nature."

Infuriating nonsense!

No, Gran, don't you get it?

"Dual", as in two!

This must all be about two,

everything to do with the Hobbledehoys is done in twos!

Like, it always speaks in rhyme, a rhyme is two lines,

two words that rhyme...

..it always speaks in pairs, do you see? Two!

-You mean it's binary?

-Exactly!

But how will that be a-helping us?

Look!

"To command the Hobbledehoy to do your will,

"the couple you must break!"

That can only mean one thing...

Two Hobbledehoys! There are two of them?!

The speech was in pairs, the spell's in pairs.

They're twins! They're pairs, and couples, and twins!

Yeah, but look.

"The couple you must break".

If you split them up, then maybe...

I don't know,

they're like opposites, like north and south, and yin and yang.

So Squiggley cast the spell, but the second one reverses it!

Exactly!

Tom. Where's Benny?

Oh, he had a nosebleed.

A nosebleed?

Is he all right?

Is Benny in danger?

If we don't find this other Hobbledehoy and get him

to reverse the curse, the boy's toast.

Magic is too powerful for the bodies of the Unenchanted,

it destroys them.

I've got to find him. I've got to warn him!

No, no, no! There'll not be the time!

You must be looking for the Hobbledehoy and quicksticks about it!

Without the Hobbledehoy, all hope for the imp, hope for all of you,

will be lost with the setting of the sun!

Sunset? What do you mean?

Unless the spell will have been turned around before the sun slips,

the enchantment will never be undone.

Thomas and the Mistress will be remaining as they are, and Benny...

..will be doomed.

No. That's not going to happen.

I don't care about the Magic, we've got to save Benny!

Observe, Father. For the absolute evidence of what Varg has become.

HE SOBS AND SIGHS

Dawn.

And the Magic returns to me!

The creature of Magic replenishes its spells in the new dawn.

The sweetness of this Magic.

Now, are you convinced, Father?

Yes. Yes!

Then what would you have me do with this creature of Magic?

Bring it to me! Extract its Magic!

Right, Gran, let's go.

Ursula?

Come on, this is no time for DIY electronics - especially for you.

We've got to find that Hobbledehoy!

That's the Nekross tech that Benny took. What are you up to?

Magic can't penetrate the spaceship. We know that.

So for that Hobbledehoy to swap my essence with Varg's,

we need him on Earth.

Hang on. You're building a matter transporter?

But you can't change a light bulb without fusing the whole house.

But this isn't Gran, is it? Not completely.

That's right.

So you bring me the Hobbledehoy and let's see what happens

when I give Nekross science a twist of Magic.

Oh, Varg, are you there?

Oh, Varg, I'm your sister. Don't shut me out.

You're not coming in, Lexi.

But I want to help you.

As the sisters of Prince Vathallion helped him? They ate him!

Those were unenlightened times. Now we EMBRACE those who are different.

Please, Varg, please let me in.

Are you alone, sister?

Completely alone, brother.

And you promise you will not eat me.

I promise it.

You lied!

Of course I lied! Guards, get him!

Oh, brother Varg, brother Varg, please let me in!

Not by the scales of my Nekross skin!

Then we shall power-up our weapons and blow your door in!

Would you please stop rhyming!!

Look at them, they're in proper kit.

Someone must have forgotten to tell them this is just a friendly.

We haven't even got a full team yet.

Here he is, the man of the match!

Yeah, about time, too. You all right, mate?

Yeah. Now are we playing or what?

Moon had better be right.

Even if he is, how do we explain to this Hobbledehoy

what happened to his mate?

Have you got a rhyme for "Extractor"?

LOUD CRYING

HE CRIES

Hello...

Are you... Are you OK?

Huh?

Face Stickley's rage,

answer quickly.

Who did this to my dear Squiggley?!

It was not us who hurt your friend.

But on your help we do depend.

On you his Magic I can smell.

Speak the truth or it won't end well.

(Tom, keep distracting him.)

(I've got a plan.)

Stickley, please wait,

we need your help.

Don't cast a spell to make me yelp.

You end my friend then want my aid?

Of toffee are my poor brains made?

Of course they're not!

You are well-read.

Just don't let it go to your head!

Oh!

LOUD THUD

That was your plan?

When times get tough and things go bad,

who needs a spell? Just ask your dad!

Come on, Benny's running out of time

and we have to get him back to the chamber.

HE GROWLS

Now, brother, there is no escape!

Ha!

HE LAUGHS

Magic one. Science nil, sister!

Get me in there! Now!

I'll not be caged, you'll heed my rants.

Or feel my wrath and wet your pants!

Hush! This cage will be enchanted.

No-one here will be wet-panted!

Yah!

Report! What progress?

Well, not much. Doesn't sound like he wants to help.

But the book says it's got no choice,

it's got to reverse the spells!

And he is the only one who can save Benny's life.

Time will be a-running out! Sunset will be drawing near!

Fear not! I'm almost ready!

Ha! Ha-ha-ha!

I know what this is really about, Lexi.

I am heir to the throne of Nekron.

You have always been jealous of that.

Jealousy is not in my nature. I am above such things.

But think, Lexi! Just think. Sister of mine.

-We could use my Magic. Together!

-In what way?

We could rule together. You and I! A...a new dynasty of Nekron.

You with science, me with Magic - an almighty combination!

But what of father?

What of him? He is old. And fat. And...

And he can HEAR YOU!!!

Forgive me, Might of Nekron! I meant old and fat...

in a good way!

Seize him, daughter!

Guards! I want that door down! Now!

I know it's sad, alas alack.

But you must change us all right back!

I'll stop you there before you start.

I couldn't give a goblin's fart!

But...now your partner's gone away,

you have to do just what we say!

Is that so, pomaded fool? Well, I refuse, now back to school!

Ha-ha-ha-ha.

It's not working! I don't understand, what's gone wrong?

That's it! Done!

With a Magical interface which means it will work in the chamber

and teleport Varg right here!

No, Mistress, no!

You can't be bringing an Unworld One in the chamber!

Watch me!

Varg...!!

You saved me! By the fiery rings of Nekron, you saved me!

You...

Enemies of Nekross! I should destroy you...

Bumble sticks and pixie tricks!

You'll be trapped, oh, yellowing beast!

Held within a circle of enchantment.

Impossible, you little...

blip! Magic has no effect on the Nekross!

But you are one of us now, aren't you?

To be precise, you're me!

The very thought makes me shiver.

Hot flushes. Get used to it.

Never mind all that! Time's running out!

If we don't reverse this spell right now, Benny's going to die!

Down the line!

CHEERING

Brilliant, Benny, that's two-all. Now, just get us a winner, yeah?

Right, come on! Let's go.

But... you are north, and Squiggley's south,

so a reversal comes out of your mouth.

Is this how you think we Hobbles function?

Not so, you fool, you're up the junction!

Nope, we've definitely got this wrong, it isn't working!

MOON: The sands will be slipping away!

There's got to be something in here.

I could wring its neck!

-Nah!

-Not helping, Gran!

Wait...

Wait, wait, wait, wait...

It's couplet. Not couple. That's it!

Look! It's two words - you see, it's two again!

I'll be doing number twos if you don't be a-hurrying!

No, but it's two words in one! It's not "couple", it's "couplet"!

-Right! It's couplet!

-What does that mean?

-I don't know.

-It means we have to break the couplet!

-Right! We break the couplet!

-What does that mean?

-I don't know!

-It means we have to break the rhyme!

-Right! We break the rhyme!

-What does that mean?!

-I don't know!

It's got to mean... some sort of trick.

Like if we can deceive him into doing what we want.

I find it best not to tell the enemy your plan.

No, he can't understand us when we talk normally.

Come on then, Tom, we're running out of time.

What does it mean, to break a rhyme?!

Break the rhyme, how dare you? I'll fight you off, you big booboo!

No! Dad! You just told him the plan!

But... I didn't talk in rhyme, I'm just...

doing it all the time, oh!!

-Just be careful what you say!

-Before the sun sets on this day!

Stop rhyming!

Now I know your evil plan! But you won't stop me, wizard clan!

Well, great, now he knows everything! Thanks!

And we still don't know what to do!

It's almost sunset, any second now. We've got to think of something!

None can break the rhyme with me

for I have words, infinitely.

You mean...

Hold on...

Even though this sounds absurd, we just have to find the right word.

Rack your brain, in manner violent. But no word can leave me silent.

-What is it, Tom? What does he mean?

-What do we do?

How do we stop it?

Think, think, think...

I've got Benny's brains, Benny's clever,

Benny would know what to do.

Benny could think of a way out of this.

Yes, we need a word, what word can we...what word,

what word...what word can we..?

-What?

-What is it?

- What will it be? - What?

-Oh!

-Yes!

- Hoop! - Ah!

-Ssh.

-Oh!

Right then, Stickley,

you think you've won. I have one question, please don't shun.

Why should I care? Revenge is sweet!

What would you ask, boy-that-I-beat?

A simple thing, to be so bold...

What colour is the fruit I hold?

It is orange, you idiot child. Don't think me so easily beguiled!

Oh!

OK, OK, shush... Can I just check you got that right?

Repeat the colour in your sight.

My reply won't bring you joy. For I tell you, it's orange, boy.

ALL GROAN

MOON: Quicksticks! Time will be a-dwindle!

STICKLEY LAUGHS

I did not hear the shade you spoke. Tell me again...

you little bloke!

What you see is orange fruit. And plainly, I don't give a hoot.

-It's no good, he's too clever.

-There's nothing more we can do.

Throughout all time, fools have sought to trick me,

and all come to naught.

No. I'm sorry, Dad.

Sorry, Gran. He's beaten me.

I must confess, you have me beat. Now I'm humble to my... feet.

I'm too clever, foolish boy. None can beat the Hobbledehoy.

I'm sad, I'm crying, I'm dismal now.

You did defeat me...

But tell me... How?

Because there is no rhyme with orange.

And so you'll find I did not...

Gahh! Ahh! Ahh!

Ahh-ahh

Gotcha!

Gahhh... kkkk... akkkk...

-He can't rhyme! I got him!

-Brilliant!

-Victory!

Not so clever now, are you, big head?

Well done, Thomas!

It isn't over yet, though, Benny's still in danger!

You need a couplet, so let's deal. Swap us

all back for the rhyme's reveal.

Remember the cage will be enchanted.

He must be coming out to work his Magic!

Come on Stickley, take a bow. Reverse your magic, do it now!

HE GASPS AND GROANS

-Mark him, mark him!

-Come on, Benny.

-Tackle him.

-Go for goal.

For the match!

-Benny?

-Guys, is he all right?

-Tom?

-Young Master!

-Are you OK?

-Did it work?

Mistress! Mistress!

What do you think?

Benny? Mate, can you hear me? Are you all right?

Pi is a mathematical constant,

the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter...

Yes! Yes! I'm fine!

I'm back! Everything's really, really fine!

I'm sorry about the match, Quinn.

You're kidding? Perfect timing.

The keeper saw you going down and totally missed the ball. We won!

CHEERING

We did it!

ALL CHEER: Benny! Benny!

It's good to have you back, Gran!

I've missed you.

A touching moment. And your last.

The Magic will be gone from him! The circle will not hold!

We just saved you, Varg. Doesn't that count for anything?

Yes. It means I will enjoy devouring your Magic even more.

And I shall return to the Zarantulus with you as my prize!

Sorry - it's a ticket for one!

Mesh - tah - dah!

Nooo!

Ahhh!

Quicksticks! The Hobbledehoy will be a-slipping away!

The rhyme. You have to complete the rhyme, Tom, or it'll die.

But you can't. It's impossible!

That's the point, there isn't anything that rhymes with orange!

Want a bet?

The man who sold to us the orange

was local grocer...

Mr Gorringe!

What a relief, you found the rhyme. If only in the nick of time!

That's clever. OK. That's very clever.

I don't think that's Benny's brains. That's all you, Tom.

Come on, little fellow. Randal Moon will be looking after the Hobbledehoy

until he will be well enough to return to the Neverside.

This place looks good to take a rest.

Perhaps I'll stay and make my nest?

We'll be seeing, Hobbledehoy.

Oh-dah-de-dah-diddle-de-doy!

LAUGHTER

I think Moon's found a new friend.

Now let's hope that's the end.

Enough.

Get off me! I command it!

You command nothing!

You are an outcast of Nekron, a carrier of Magic.

With your permission, oh, Might of Nekron,

according to the scanner, Prince Varg speaks the truth.

All trace of Magic is gone.

My superior Nekross biology has overcome the contagion of Magic.

But it was necessary for my plan to work.

Your plan, brother? What was this plan?

To penetrate the Magical stronghold of Tom Clarke

and his family, of course.

Varg! You are a hero of Nekron.

You make your king so proud.

It is good to have you returned, Varg. I offer my apologies.

For your desire to feast on me?

No apology is necessary.

With Magic or without it, I imagine I am quite irresistible.

Jathro to Control. Jathro to Control.

MAN: Control, secure Comms open.

The King's spawn have been fighting amongst themselves.

I think this may benefit our plans enormously...

Oh, that feels good. Welcome back, Magic!

Every cell on fire?

Yeah.

I'm glad you got to feel it.

It was awesome.

I've got to admit... being smart was pretty cool, too.

I mean, who'd have thought being a geek would be so much fun?

Welcome to my world.

But Tom... Listen...

I'm sorry we fell out.

And...thanks for saving my life.

Did I?

I mean, it was your brains that saved the day.

Up here.

But you're welcome.

On the other hand, now I'm going to have to face Mum and Dad

when they find out I totally blew that chemistry exam.

I could fix it, if you want.

One click of the fingers and the names on the papers will switch.

No. You know what, forget the Magic.

One day when Benny Sherwood was cool.

That's well worth one flunked exam.

But you are cool. I've been in your head, I know.

And I'll tell you something else, he's not just a genius,

my mate Benny Sherwood - he's Magic.

And...he always will be.

Shah-gann dah!

So where is this place?

Tibet.

Tibet?!

-NEKROSS KING:

-I want our enemy Tom Clarke located.

I will not have left the chamber in 500 years.

I love you and I'm not leaving you.

Every drop of Magic will be mine.