Dad's Back Young Dracula


Dad's Back

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Rule number one of Alchemy - pick good ingredients.

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First, carefully select rats' tails.

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Stop show boating, Renfield!

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Immediately, Master.

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Having prepared your blood mixture, carefully lay out the tails.

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Then gently...

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ease in the power.

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Oh, wow!

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Come here, my little beauties.

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Your turn, Master Vlad.

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No way!

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You know, my boy, when I was your age,

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I grew a whole troupe of three-headed killer monkeys.

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Happy times. Make me proud!

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Look, Sir Manly Van Helsing, 1750-1789.

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Porphyria Van Helsing, 1852-1892.

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Abraham Van Helsing III, 1925 -1965.

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-What have they all got in common?

-They were all fine slayers.

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And all dead before they were 40!

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-You're 40 this year!

-Give it a rest.

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I'm not like those old timers, I'm on the cutting edge.

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See these? Blueprints to the castle

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revealing a secret entrance I bet the Count has no idea about.

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A 3D fly-through on the computer - now that's cutting edge!

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I'M the slayer round here, and I'm going up the castle to prove it.

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-I'm coming too.

-Get on with your homework. Education comes first -

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that's what my dad always taught me.

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You mean Grandad Norris Van Helsing, died aged 39½?!

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I mean look at this! "Heads with necks, heads without necks,

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"lizard entrails!"

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Alchemy's just another excuse to get up to your elbows in blood and guts!

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-Vlad, check this out.

-I hate it when Dad gives me one of those looks.

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"Vladimir, I'm very disappointed in you!" "Bride of Renfield"?!

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Oh, no, not that. ..That!

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"Potion 666. Transforming a Vampire into a Mortal"?!

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-Will it work?

-Only one way to find out!

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Where's the list of ingredients?

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I've found some bees' bums.

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I thought you could start with growing something small.

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-There's some pages missing from this book.

-Ah. That's my dad's book.

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He liked to keep all his secrets up here. He was a great alchemist.

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Rotten dad but a great alchemist.

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-Did he pass his secrets onto you?

-Didn't get a chance.

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He disappeared, like a ghoul in the night. Never to be seen again!

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He can't have just disappeared, we need to find out what happened.

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Ah, Zoltan! What d'you know about Renfield's dad?

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Whatever you've heard it's lies, all lies.

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He sounds nervous. ZOLTAN FARTS

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-He smells it too.

-Is that the time? I think I'll just go and...

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Spill, Zoltan! And I want the truth

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-or I'll let Ingrid put itching powder in your stuffing again.

-You wouldn't!

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Renfield Senior had this habit of skulking outside the castle.

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I hung out with a bad pack of hellhounds in those days.

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Anyway, one moonless night,

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my muchachos and I ambushed someone by the South Tower.

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By the time we realised it was Renfield Senior,

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all that was left of him was what's in my basket.

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Eugh!

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No! That's a little accident I had earlier. The bone!

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-So he took his secret to the grave.

-No longer a problem.

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Oh.

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This is so what I want to do when I leave school. Mwa-ha-ha-ha!

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Don't do this. Renfield Senior was mad, bad and dangerous to know.

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And when he sees me, he's going to want revenge.

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You should get him a card -

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"Sorry I accidentally savaged you to death".

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Shut up! I need to concentrate. This is dark Alchemy.

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We're going to bring back Renfield's dad.

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That's it, ready?

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-We're gonna need a bigger bolt.

-Huh?

-Of lightning.

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-We could wait months for a storm!

-Not when your dad's Count Dracula!

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-I just want you to know, this is nothing personal.

-That's my diary!

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-Uh-uh.

-I hate to be the one to show you this, Dad.

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"My old dad's a vampire, he wears a vampire cloak,

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"but no-one's scared of him, they think he's just a joke..." Ingrid!

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-But I didn't write that!

-"..He's getting old and past it,

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"that is very plain to see, his hair is grey, his fangs are false,

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"and his cardigan smells of wee!" I do not wear cardigans!

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-And that's not my handwriting!

-That is no excuse!

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-Everything ready?

-Check.

-Good. All we need to do is wait for the big...

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THUNDER CRASHES

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Easy!

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Don't fry him like those rats' tails.

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-It lives!

-And it's naked!

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What have you done?!

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Where am I?

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Do something!

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I'm Vladimir Dracula. I'm your master! Release him.

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-I don't think he heard you.

-Release him!

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Greetings, Master Vladimir.

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Renfield Senior...at your service.

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Am I good, or am I good?

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-So you want to avoid becoming a vampire, Master Vlad?

-Exactly.

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And I need to do it before Dad finds out, so let's make the potion.

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Immediately, young Master.

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Cool!

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Vlad, you rancid little worm! I'm going to kill you! What is that?

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Renfield, where...is my dinner?!

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Have you done something different with your hair?

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No, your Majesticness, it is I, Renfield Senior.

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I was temporarily killed, but now I'm back.

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Thanks to me and my Alchemy skills.

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Excellent! Not quite a troupe of killer monkeys, but not bad.

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I'm sorry dinner's late, Master.

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-Quiet, whelp! I'll get the Master's dinner!

-He's my Master, not yours!

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-You want a bet?

-Nice going(!)

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You really think it's good having two Renfields stinking up the place?

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Enough! Ingrid's right, for once.

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I can't have two of you loathsome creatures infesting my home.

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-One of you will have to go.

-If I might be so bold, your Enormity.

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Let Master Vlad decide. He'll be head of the house one day,

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it'll be good practice for him. I'm sure he'll make the right choice.

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Very well. Vlad?

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Sorry, Renfield.

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I've got nowhere to go.

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-Why have you never liked me, Dad?

-Because you're weak!

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I told you not to let them Draculas walk all over you, but look at you!

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Their boot marks are all over your back!

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-The Count's not really like that, deep down.

-Deep down nothing!

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I let him and his father treat me like dirt because it was always,

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"We'll grant you immortality one day, Renfield."

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But did they? Did they cods! Even after I offered to let them

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-drain your blood on your 18th birthday.

-What?

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Oh. I thought you knew that.

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Well, now it's payback time!

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I'm going to use that little brat Vlad to get my immortality,

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and then I'm going to reduce the House of Dracula to a pile of ashes!

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Have a nice life.

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Easy, Dad.

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-What are you playing at?!

-Sorry.

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I got these off E-Slay - tracking devices with a built-in alarm.

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Jonno, I'm a trained slayer with 25 years behind the stake!

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Stop telling me how to do my job!

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Dad, it's not the '70s!

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How long until the potion's ready?

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I'll work day and night. My only desire is to serve you.

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Vlad! ..Don't you think you're losing the plot a bit?

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You've got Ingrid into trouble, forced Zoltan to hide in the ruins

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-and chucked Renfield out!

-Needs must.

-Exactly!

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But you're the only...good one in your family.

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-You can't expect a breather to understand, Master.

-Mind your own!

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Master, this is delicate work and all these interruptions...

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I understand. Catch you later, yeah, Robin?

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Oh, so now you're chucking me out?

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Best it's just the two of us, Master.

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We need to concentrate and we can't have any nasty surprises.

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Noooo!

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How could you give my room to that stinkpot Renfield?!

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-He was sleeping in a ditch.

-Doesn't say much for your Mr Count, does it?

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It's to do with Renfield's father, he sounds...difficult.

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-Where am I supposed to sleep?

-You can always bunk down with us.

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And wake up with your underpants wrapped around my head?!

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-You can share with me.

-I'll kip on the sofa, if it's all the same.

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I'm sure Mr Renfield won't be any trouble. Apart from the...

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smell, we'll hardly know he's here. SOBBING

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Oh, my poor Master!

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Shouldn't you be working on the potion?

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-I have my duties for the Count to perform, young Master.

-..Er, Dad...

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Renfield Senior's worked really hard today, why don't you let him off?

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And what do you suggest I do if I want another drink, Vlad -

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-fill the glass myself?!

-Work the old maggot to the bone, I say.

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More!

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If I might say, your Gloriousity...

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..in my day,

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girls were seen

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but never, ever heard.

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Ah, those were the days!

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Welcome to the 21st century.

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You pair of old... Mmmmm mm.

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Er, why are her lips stuck together?

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Forgive me, your Magnificence,

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it's a potion I developed for your father,

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-to control the feisty females of his day. I have the antidote...

-Uh-uh!

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Don't you dare! It's no more than she deserves!

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Perhaps you'd like to write a poem about this!

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Well done, Renfield, I must reward you.

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Well, your Illustriousity...

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you and your father did always promise to make me immortal.

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No, no, Renfield.

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The Lord of the Dead can't hand out immortality like boiled sweets!

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I was thinking of an hour off,

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spread over the year of course!

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(Don't say I didn't give you a chance.)

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Mmmm-mmm!

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He's busy. ..Come, Master Vlad.

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Mmmmmm!

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You don't have to make dinner for us, Mr Renfield, really.

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You've been so kind, it's the least I could do!

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-Stay where you are.

-If Mr Renfield is good enough to cook for us,

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the least we can do is eat it.

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-Ugh!

-What is it?

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-Road kill stew.

-Oh.

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-How...continental.

-Something just moved in there.

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According to this, the door should be straight ahead of me.

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Must have gone too far...

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Who's there?

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Jonno?

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Keep it together, Eric.

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Slayers have no fear.

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Hello, Slayer.

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-BEEPING

-Dad!

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-SOBBING

-He's off again. He's driving me mad. Can you two stop dropping crumbs

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all over that sofa? I've got to sleep there tonight.

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Right, that's it! I'm off up the castle to get this mess sorted!

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WHIMPERING

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Hello, doggie!

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-What have you been doing? I thought we were doing the potion?

-Needs must.

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-What does that mean?

-Best you don't know.

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-But I'm your Master!

-If you want the potion this side of Halloween,

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be a good little master and let me get on.

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OK, but don't be long! That's an order!

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What have you done to me, fiend?!

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I nicked a few drops of your blood for a little potion I'm making.

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It's gonna be handy having my own slayer on tap.

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Would you be so kind as to release me?

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Here.

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No, you're not going mad. If you could help me, I'd be very grateful.

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He's going to throw me on the fire.

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-What sort of abomination...?

-There's no need to be personal!

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I haven't said anything about your smelly breath.

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I'll free you on one condition - you lead me to the Count.

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Never! Nothing you can do or say will make me betray my Master.

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-Fine, I'll leave you to the old man, then.

-It's out the door,

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turn right, I'll show you the way.

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Vlad, you're making people's lives miserable!

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-That old man is messing with your head. Get rid of him!

-Needs must.

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You're even starting to sound like him! ..Do you mind? We're talking!

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Apologies, Master Vlad, but may I have a quick word in private?

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Why aren't you getting on with the potion?

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I'm short of one ingredient - the blood of an innocent.

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-No! Not Robin, I forbid it.

-It would just be a few drops.

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He hates injections. Let's find someone else.

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No time. Just lure him down to the lab and I'll take what I need.

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-He won't feel a thing.

-He's my friend. I can't trick him!

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What's more important - him or the cure?

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You're right, he is evil. We need to get rid of him.

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Let's go down to the lab.

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"Need to see Renfield now!" What's happened to your voice?

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You Draculas and your secrets!

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-Come to Daddy!

-Oi! Leave him!

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Apparently your dad's running riot up at the castle

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and you're the only one who knows enough about Alchemy to stop him.

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-And get Ingrid's voice back.

-But I can't. ..I'm too weak!

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Renfield, you're not weak! It's time for you to stand up to him.

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-But there's no point, now that Dad's going to destroy my Master.

-What?

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Ah!

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BEEPING

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Dad!

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-You're all right!

-I'm fine, son.

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Let's get out of here.

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Are you mad? We're in the castle!

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We can find the Count and finish him off!

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The stuffed dog's going to show us the way.

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He can talk! ..Tell him!

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Come on!

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See that? He winked!

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Did you get a knock on the head by any chance?

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-Yes, but...

-Come on, let's get you home.

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He did talk to me, son.

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Course he did! My old Action Man chats to me all the time.

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-How will we get rid of old man Renfield?

-I'll explain in a minute.

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-Vlad! Stop him! Vlad?!

-Sorry, mate.

-Don't "mate" me! What's going on?

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-We just need a few drops of your blood for the potion.

-That potion!

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-Why didn't you just ask?

-You would have said no.

-So you tricked me?

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Your best mate?! You're already just like the rest of your family!

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It's just a few drops. Right, Renfield?

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Actually, no. I need the whole nine pints. Every last drop.

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-What?! See what you've done!

-I didn't know, honest.

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-I demand you let him go!

-Shut up!

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You really think I've been doing this for YOU?!

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The days of me taking orders from the Draculas are long gone!

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The Count will give me immortality or I will use this potion

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-to turn him into a pile of dust!

-You'll have to go through me first.

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-No problem.

-And me.

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-Mmmm mm.

-Oh, look! It's Dumb and Dimmer.

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I'm not gonna let you hurt my Master.

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You won't stop me! You haven't got the bottle!

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See?! You're rubbish! Now, clear off, mummy's boy!

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You keep Mum out of this! She was twice the man you are.

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She was weak! Like you!

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"You are so dead!"

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What's that? What's happening?

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The antidote to regeneration. Second rule of Alchemy - always be prepared!

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You're going back to where you came from - a bone in a dog's basket.

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You had to pick now to stand up to me, didn't you? You snivelling...

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But what about the cure?!

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Forget I said that.

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Sorry I was so...

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Cunning, manipulative, downright evil?

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A real chip off the old block.

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You did come through in the end, I guess.

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Maybe next time you could just grow us some girlfriends?

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Nah. I think I'm gonna give Alchemy a miss.

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Speaking of which, how's lunch?

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Even better than before - slightly chewier and a bit more tang.

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Renfield Senior must've had pizza for dinner.

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-Master, I'm home!

-Shut up, Renfield!

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-Yes, Master.

-How come he's back?

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What happened to the other one?

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He sort of...disappeared.

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At least he managed to silence you before he left.

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Think again, Daddy.

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You gave her the antidote?!

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That's right boys, I'm back.

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Run!

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