Past Badults
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Transcript
| Line | From | To | |
|---|---|---|---|
This programme contains very strong language | 0:00:02 | 0:00:06 | |
# Always fooling around When we were young | 0:00:06 | 0:00:08 | |
# Time flies so fast When you're having fun | 0:00:08 | 0:00:11 | |
# Don't wanna get old | 0:00:11 | 0:00:13 | |
# I never wanna grow up. # CRASH | 0:00:13 | 0:00:15 | |
What were Furbies all about? They were crazy! | 0:00:16 | 0:00:20 | |
No, no, I don't think I remember the Macarena. | 0:00:20 | 0:00:22 | |
Oh, I remember it! The Macarena! It was crazy! | 0:00:22 | 0:00:26 | |
The 1990s were a time of great seismic political shifts. | 0:00:26 | 0:00:31 | |
The tinderbox that was the Iraqi invasion of Kuwait, | 0:00:31 | 0:00:35 | |
the complexity of the Balkan conflict and... | 0:00:35 | 0:00:39 | |
Sorry? | 0:00:39 | 0:00:40 | |
Oh. Oh, yes, I see. | 0:00:42 | 0:00:44 | |
Shell suits. | 0:00:47 | 0:00:49 | |
What was going on there? They were crazy! | 0:00:49 | 0:00:52 | |
Imagine being alive in the 1990s. | 0:00:52 | 0:00:56 | |
It must have been incredible. | 0:00:56 | 0:00:59 | |
Oh, God, why are we remembering Global Hypercolor T-shirts? | 0:00:59 | 0:01:02 | |
Yeah! Why remember something | 0:01:02 | 0:01:04 | |
when it never went out of style in the first place? | 0:01:04 | 0:01:07 | |
The only thing these shows make me nostalgic for | 0:01:08 | 0:01:11 | |
is the days that they made decent telly. | 0:01:11 | 0:01:12 | |
It makes it seem like we spent ten years listening to Cotton Eye Joe. | 0:01:12 | 0:01:16 | |
I mean, why would anyone want to remember...? Oh, my God! Pogs! | 0:01:16 | 0:01:18 | |
Pogs? Oh, man, the playground craze that took the '90s by storm! | 0:01:18 | 0:01:23 | |
Do you know, I still have my prize folder of original Pogs. | 0:01:23 | 0:01:27 | |
Is it next to your prize certificate for being an original loser? | 0:01:27 | 0:01:30 | |
What's the point in hanging on to a load of useless cardboard circles? | 0:01:31 | 0:01:35 | |
Despite being dismissed by many as useless cardboard circles, | 0:01:35 | 0:01:39 | |
they are now collectors' items and can sell for thousands of pounds. | 0:01:39 | 0:01:43 | |
Thousands of pounds?! | 0:01:44 | 0:01:46 | |
Oh, my God! Apparently, a complete collection of mint condition Pogs | 0:01:57 | 0:02:01 | |
sold recently for £500,000. | 0:02:01 | 0:02:04 | |
Just think what we could buy with £500,000! | 0:02:04 | 0:02:08 | |
You could buy a complete collection of mint condition Pogs! | 0:02:08 | 0:02:12 | |
Well, you won't find mintier than these. Never been played with. | 0:02:13 | 0:02:17 | |
I always knew there were benefits to being anal. | 0:02:17 | 0:02:20 | |
Don't even bother, Ben! | 0:02:20 | 0:02:21 | |
100% complete. We're rich! | 0:02:23 | 0:02:25 | |
ALL: Yay! | 0:02:25 | 0:02:27 | |
No, wait! There's one missing. | 0:02:27 | 0:02:30 | |
What? That's impossible. | 0:02:30 | 0:02:32 | |
They must be still worth quite a lot! | 0:02:32 | 0:02:34 | |
Of course, if even just one of these Pogs is missing, | 0:02:34 | 0:02:37 | |
the entire collection is worthless. | 0:02:37 | 0:02:39 | |
Anyone who thinks otherwise is a fucking idiot. | 0:02:39 | 0:02:42 | |
-A bit harsh! -TV IS SWITCHED OFF | 0:02:44 | 0:02:47 | |
But I definitely collected that final Pog. | 0:02:47 | 0:02:50 | |
It was red and black with a silver stripe. | 0:02:50 | 0:02:52 | |
It was the first week of school. | 0:02:52 | 0:02:54 | |
If only I could remember what happened to that Pog. | 0:02:54 | 0:02:57 | |
# If it hadn't been for Cotton Eye Joe I'd have been married long time ago | 0:02:58 | 0:03:02 | |
# Where did you come from? Where did you go...? # | 0:03:02 | 0:03:05 | |
MUSIC STOPS | 0:03:05 | 0:03:06 | |
HE INHALES LOUDLY Somebody save me! | 0:03:06 | 0:03:09 | |
-MATTHEW: -Agh! | 0:03:09 | 0:03:10 | |
Ha! Huh, huh, huh! Ha! | 0:03:10 | 0:03:12 | |
The Power Rangers! | 0:03:12 | 0:03:14 | |
Hey there, little man. What seems to be the problem? | 0:03:14 | 0:03:17 | |
There's a big scary bully trying to get all of my pocket money off of me! | 0:03:17 | 0:03:20 | |
Shit! | 0:03:20 | 0:03:21 | |
INHALES LOUDLY | 0:03:24 | 0:03:26 | |
I knew you weren't a Power Ranger. Why are you dressed like that? | 0:03:26 | 0:03:29 | |
When they said we had games on Thursday, I thought we got to pick the game. | 0:03:29 | 0:03:32 | |
Oh, great! You're not going to save me from the bully! | 0:03:32 | 0:03:35 | |
MATTHEW: Oh, no! That's him! | 0:03:35 | 0:03:38 | |
Hey, bully! Leave this kid alone! | 0:03:38 | 0:03:40 | |
I'm not a bully! | 0:03:40 | 0:03:41 | |
You were trying to get my pocket money off of me. | 0:03:41 | 0:03:43 | |
I was just trying to get you to invest in my pyramid scheme. | 0:03:43 | 0:03:46 | |
Oh, where loads of people put in money at the base | 0:03:46 | 0:03:48 | |
and the top people cream off the profit? | 0:03:48 | 0:03:49 | |
No, where we save up together and buy a pyramid! | 0:03:49 | 0:03:53 | |
A pyramid? I'm in! Here's £2. | 0:03:54 | 0:03:58 | |
Oh! A fat quid? Brill! | 0:03:58 | 0:04:02 | |
I'm Tom. I'm a ledge. | 0:04:02 | 0:04:05 | |
I'm Matthew. I'm not a ledge. | 0:04:05 | 0:04:07 | |
I'm Ben. When I was a baby, I fell off a ledge. | 0:04:07 | 0:04:10 | |
I've heard about you. | 0:04:11 | 0:04:12 | |
They say, if you give him something shiny, he'll eat it. | 0:04:12 | 0:04:15 | |
Hey! Nice bum bag. | 0:04:15 | 0:04:18 | |
It's not a bum bag, it's my Pogtainer. | 0:04:18 | 0:04:19 | |
And with this final Pog, I'll have completed my set. | 0:04:19 | 0:04:22 | |
No-one likes Pogs any more! Pogs are sad. | 0:04:22 | 0:04:27 | |
In my gang, we're into... | 0:04:27 | 0:04:30 | |
friendship bracelets. | 0:04:30 | 0:04:33 | |
Wow! That's loads! | 0:04:33 | 0:04:36 | |
How many friends are in this gang? | 0:04:36 | 0:04:38 | |
Just me. | 0:04:38 | 0:04:39 | |
But I'm really good at making friendship bracelets. | 0:04:39 | 0:04:43 | |
Can we be in your gang? | 0:04:43 | 0:04:46 | |
Hmm... You'll have to pass some kind of test. | 0:04:46 | 0:04:49 | |
Let me think. | 0:04:49 | 0:04:51 | |
What's wrong with your yo-yo? | 0:04:52 | 0:04:54 | |
It bends off to the left. | 0:04:54 | 0:04:56 | |
I knew this costume was too revealing. | 0:04:56 | 0:04:59 | |
No! The yo-yo! | 0:05:00 | 0:05:03 | |
It just needs a weight on the other side. | 0:05:03 | 0:05:05 | |
Something like... | 0:05:05 | 0:05:06 | |
...this. | 0:05:08 | 0:05:09 | |
Isn't that your final Pog? | 0:05:09 | 0:05:11 | |
Ben, sit on this. | 0:05:14 | 0:05:15 | |
I like your ideas, Matthew. | 0:05:17 | 0:05:19 | |
And your beard! So thick on one so young! | 0:05:19 | 0:05:23 | |
-It works! -Now, what's this test? | 0:05:26 | 0:05:29 | |
No need for a test. You've both already passed. | 0:05:29 | 0:05:32 | |
Matthew, you'll be the brains. | 0:05:32 | 0:05:34 | |
And, Ben, you'll be the, er... | 0:05:35 | 0:05:39 | |
buttocks! | 0:05:39 | 0:05:40 | |
I'll teach you the secret handshake. | 0:05:42 | 0:05:44 | |
It needs a bit of work. | 0:05:50 | 0:05:52 | |
I used to carry that yo-yo everywhere! | 0:05:52 | 0:05:55 | |
I had it with me when I broke my arm. When I got hit by that bus. | 0:05:55 | 0:05:59 | |
And when I saw my grandfather fall from a fifth-floor window into a wood-chipper. | 0:05:59 | 0:06:04 | |
It was sort of like a good luck charm. | 0:06:04 | 0:06:06 | |
Go and get it! | 0:06:08 | 0:06:09 | |
Dressing as the blue Power Ranger for PE? | 0:06:10 | 0:06:13 | |
Ha! What an idiot! | 0:06:13 | 0:06:15 | |
Everyone knows the red one's the fastest. | 0:06:15 | 0:06:18 | |
It'll be in here. This box contains my happiest memories. | 0:06:18 | 0:06:24 | |
Wrong box. | 0:06:31 | 0:06:32 | |
This box contains my happiest memories. | 0:06:34 | 0:06:39 | |
Here it is. We're rich! | 0:06:47 | 0:06:49 | |
ALL: Yay! | 0:06:49 | 0:06:50 | |
Wait a minute! It's still bent off to the left. | 0:06:50 | 0:06:54 | |
The Pog isn't here! It must have come off! | 0:06:54 | 0:06:56 | |
-Well, where is it? -I'll search these magazines. | 0:06:56 | 0:06:59 | |
No! Give me a minute. I can remember this. | 0:06:59 | 0:07:04 | |
The last time this yo-yo worked properly was... | 0:07:04 | 0:07:08 | |
Well, it must've been the last day of school. | 0:07:09 | 0:07:12 | |
# LAS KETCHUP: The Ketchup Song | 0:07:14 | 0:07:16 | |
Dude! | 0:07:18 | 0:07:19 | |
MUSIC STOPS | 0:07:19 | 0:07:20 | |
We still need to work on that secret handshake. | 0:07:24 | 0:07:26 | |
I thought you were getting your shirt signed by all your friends? | 0:07:26 | 0:07:29 | |
I did. | 0:07:29 | 0:07:30 | |
Mrs Coulson? | 0:07:31 | 0:07:32 | |
Yeah. The best librarian I've ever known. | 0:07:32 | 0:07:35 | |
What do you think of this? | 0:07:35 | 0:07:37 | |
You've gotta watch what you do with your hair, Tom, it'll fall out. | 0:07:37 | 0:07:39 | |
That's not going to happen! | 0:07:39 | 0:07:42 | |
Tom! | 0:07:42 | 0:07:43 | |
You told me the last day of school was fancy dress! | 0:07:43 | 0:07:46 | |
It is. Look, Matthew's come dressed as Harry Potter. | 0:07:46 | 0:07:50 | |
ALL: Eh-oh! | 0:07:50 | 0:07:52 | |
I can't believe it's the last day of school. | 0:07:52 | 0:07:54 | |
Just think, seven years ago, we were in this room, | 0:07:54 | 0:07:57 | |
we couldn't spell, we could barely write, we couldn't read. | 0:07:57 | 0:08:00 | |
Yeah. | 0:08:00 | 0:08:02 | |
-Nothing changes. -Hey. | 0:08:02 | 0:08:05 | |
Remember our promise - when we're older, we're all going to live together. | 0:08:05 | 0:08:09 | |
I dunno, guys. I'm off to university. | 0:08:09 | 0:08:12 | |
The next time you see me, I'll have joined the upper echelons of academia. | 0:08:12 | 0:08:16 | |
You might find it intimidating hanging out with a guy who's been to... | 0:08:16 | 0:08:19 | |
Grimsby Technical College. | 0:08:19 | 0:08:21 | |
-What's your plan, Tom? -I'm off to see the world. | 0:08:22 | 0:08:25 | |
I read this incredible book that inspired me to travel, | 0:08:25 | 0:08:29 | |
to really get out on the road. | 0:08:29 | 0:08:32 | |
-Ooh, Jack Kerouac? -No, it was an A to Z. | 0:08:32 | 0:08:34 | |
I've got big plans. | 0:08:36 | 0:08:37 | |
Mum says I've got to tidy my room this Saturday. | 0:08:38 | 0:08:41 | |
And then... | 0:08:41 | 0:08:43 | |
the world is my oyster. | 0:08:43 | 0:08:45 | |
Ben's like me. | 0:08:45 | 0:08:47 | |
We're studying at the University of Life. | 0:08:47 | 0:08:50 | |
Actually, Tom... | 0:08:50 | 0:08:52 | |
this came this morning. | 0:08:52 | 0:08:54 | |
I've been rejected from the University of Life. | 0:08:54 | 0:08:58 | |
Hey, guys. | 0:08:58 | 0:09:00 | |
-ALL: Eugh! -Can I sign your leavers' books? | 0:09:00 | 0:09:03 | |
-No! -They're for school leavers, not school losers. | 0:09:03 | 0:09:06 | |
Come on, guys, let's head to the dinner hall, y'all. | 0:09:08 | 0:09:12 | |
I didn't know this place had a dinner hall! | 0:09:14 | 0:09:16 | |
Can't believe I found out on the last day of school. | 0:09:16 | 0:09:18 | |
Yes, Ben, the dinner hall, just past the toilets. | 0:09:18 | 0:09:21 | |
Toilets?! | 0:09:21 | 0:09:23 | |
-Tom, can I talk to you for a second? -HE GROANS | 0:09:23 | 0:09:27 | |
Matthew tells me you're going travelling the world. | 0:09:27 | 0:09:29 | |
I've booked myself a one-way ferry ticket to Calais. | 0:09:29 | 0:09:31 | |
Then who knows? | 0:09:31 | 0:09:33 | |
First Europe. Then Asia. | 0:09:33 | 0:09:36 | |
Maybe swing over to Latin America, see how those amigos are doing. | 0:09:36 | 0:09:40 | |
Oh! | 0:09:40 | 0:09:41 | |
Well, I'm going to miss you, like, loads and stuff... | 0:09:41 | 0:09:44 | |
so I was wondering, well, | 0:09:44 | 0:09:46 | |
maybe you'd give me something to remember you by? | 0:09:46 | 0:09:48 | |
Remember me with that, all right? | 0:09:53 | 0:09:55 | |
Tom, quick! We just heard a rumour - they're going to egg all the sad kids! | 0:09:57 | 0:10:01 | |
I can't wait to see this! | 0:10:01 | 0:10:03 | |
KIDS CHANT: Sad kids! Sad kids! Sad kids! Sad kids! Sad kids! Sad kids! | 0:10:05 | 0:10:09 | |
This is incredible news! | 0:10:11 | 0:10:12 | |
Yeah! Rachel... you fancied me! | 0:10:12 | 0:10:15 | |
That was years ago. I was, like, 14. | 0:10:17 | 0:10:19 | |
God, I wish you were still 14. | 0:10:19 | 0:10:22 | |
No... | 0:10:22 | 0:10:23 | |
No, that came out wrong. | 0:10:25 | 0:10:26 | |
The Pog's on the denim jacket. Do you still have it? | 0:10:28 | 0:10:30 | |
Give me ten minutes. | 0:10:30 | 0:10:31 | |
Ten minutes? Sounds about right. | 0:10:31 | 0:10:35 | |
MATTHEW: No! | 0:10:37 | 0:10:39 | |
You're going to stay right here. | 0:10:39 | 0:10:41 | |
If you insist. | 0:10:41 | 0:10:43 | |
Whoa! | 0:10:44 | 0:10:46 | |
Right, so this is all my old clothes. | 0:10:59 | 0:11:00 | |
-The jacket must be in here somewhere. -HE SNIFFS | 0:11:02 | 0:11:06 | |
Rachel, did you actually used to wear this? | 0:11:09 | 0:11:12 | |
HE CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY Yeah, yeah... Yeah, Rachel used to wear it. | 0:11:12 | 0:11:15 | |
Here it is! We're rich! | 0:11:16 | 0:11:17 | |
ALL: Yay! | 0:11:17 | 0:11:19 | |
Wait. | 0:11:20 | 0:11:21 | |
The Pog's not on here. | 0:11:23 | 0:11:24 | |
It must be. It was definitely there last time I wore it. | 0:11:24 | 0:11:28 | |
It was at the house-warming party for this place. Remember? | 0:11:28 | 0:11:31 | |
CRAZY FROG TUNE PLAYS | 0:11:38 | 0:11:40 | |
-You look happy. -How could I not be? | 0:11:45 | 0:11:47 | |
I'm moving into a flat with my two favourite people in the world - | 0:11:47 | 0:11:51 | |
my sister and my girlfriend. | 0:11:51 | 0:11:53 | |
I hope Fiona doesn't mind me living with you. | 0:11:53 | 0:11:56 | |
Of course not. Fiona loves you. | 0:11:56 | 0:11:58 | |
Rachel, I've labelled all the food in the fridge | 0:11:58 | 0:12:00 | |
so you won't "accidentally" use some of our margarine like you did this morning. | 0:12:00 | 0:12:04 | |
I'm sorry, Fiona. It was only one piece of toast. | 0:12:04 | 0:12:07 | |
Oh, God, yeah, it's fine. I'm not the housemate from hell, am I? | 0:12:07 | 0:12:10 | |
Just buy us another tub. | 0:12:10 | 0:12:11 | |
Right, now I kinda need to talk to my boo-boo, | 0:12:13 | 0:12:15 | |
so if you could...shoo-shoo. | 0:12:15 | 0:12:17 | |
Don't worry, I suddenly really need a drink. | 0:12:17 | 0:12:20 | |
It's a great party, isn't it? Look at all these people. | 0:12:21 | 0:12:23 | |
Matthew, these are all Rachel's friends. Where are yours? | 0:12:23 | 0:12:26 | |
I'm sure they'll be here soon, dear. | 0:12:26 | 0:12:29 | |
Love you. | 0:12:29 | 0:12:30 | |
Not in front of everybody. And don't slouch. | 0:12:30 | 0:12:32 | |
DOORBELL RINGS Ooh! That'll be them now. | 0:12:32 | 0:12:35 | |
Whoo-hoo! | 0:12:38 | 0:12:42 | |
Brokeback Mountain! Get it? | 0:12:42 | 0:12:44 | |
Ben, this isn't a fancy dress party. | 0:12:47 | 0:12:49 | |
I know. | 0:12:49 | 0:12:51 | |
So, how's uni? Settling in all right? | 0:12:51 | 0:12:54 | |
Ben, I've graduated. It's been three years. | 0:12:54 | 0:12:56 | |
Three years?! | 0:12:56 | 0:12:58 | |
I need to get this back to Blockbuster. | 0:12:58 | 0:13:01 | |
So, what have you been up to? | 0:13:03 | 0:13:04 | |
Well, I've got my own place, a degree, a girlfriend. You? | 0:13:04 | 0:13:08 | |
I'm your girlfriend? | 0:13:08 | 0:13:10 | |
No, what have you been up to? | 0:13:12 | 0:13:14 | |
Oh! | 0:13:14 | 0:13:15 | |
Lots of stuff. | 0:13:15 | 0:13:17 | |
This took me a good couple of days. | 0:13:17 | 0:13:18 | |
And this weekend, I'm finally going to tidy my room. | 0:13:20 | 0:13:23 | |
Matthew, some of Rachel's friends are drinking our lemonade. | 0:13:25 | 0:13:28 | |
It's clearly labelled. | 0:13:28 | 0:13:30 | |
HE MOUTHS | 0:13:30 | 0:13:32 | |
Howdy. What's your name? | 0:13:41 | 0:13:44 | |
Ben...it's me. | 0:13:45 | 0:13:47 | |
Rachel! You look so different! | 0:13:47 | 0:13:50 | |
I can't keep up with all this change. | 0:13:51 | 0:13:54 | |
I wish Tom was still here. | 0:13:54 | 0:13:56 | |
Oh, me too. | 0:13:56 | 0:13:58 | |
It's incredible what he's doing - travelling the world. | 0:13:58 | 0:14:02 | |
I often think of him - rugged, handsome, | 0:14:02 | 0:14:05 | |
his long hair flowing in the wind as he hikes down the Great Wall of China. | 0:14:05 | 0:14:10 | |
The Great Wall of China? | 0:14:10 | 0:14:12 | |
Come on, Rachel! That was knocked down in 1989. | 0:14:13 | 0:14:17 | |
Er, Rachel, Fiona would like you to explain to your friends | 0:14:18 | 0:14:21 | |
about the importance of coasters. | 0:14:21 | 0:14:23 | |
Jai-ho! | 0:14:30 | 0:14:34 | |
Tom! You're back! | 0:14:34 | 0:14:36 | |
I return from my travels. | 0:14:36 | 0:14:39 | |
And I come bearing gifts. | 0:14:39 | 0:14:43 | |
Ben, this is for you. | 0:14:43 | 0:14:48 | |
And, Matthew, these... | 0:14:48 | 0:14:51 | |
-are for you. -HE LAUGHS | 0:14:51 | 0:14:55 | |
So, tell us all about your adventures. | 0:14:55 | 0:14:59 | |
Such sights, such smells, | 0:14:59 | 0:15:03 | |
such special offers. | 0:15:03 | 0:15:06 | |
The duty-free at Calais is incredible. | 0:15:06 | 0:15:11 | |
Oh, God, you never left the duty-free! | 0:15:11 | 0:15:14 | |
You've never seen Toblerone so big. | 0:15:14 | 0:15:17 | |
Hey, Rachel's here. She'll be delighted to see you. | 0:15:18 | 0:15:23 | |
-Rachel! -Oh, dear. | 0:15:23 | 0:15:25 | |
Has she still got her little teenage crush on me? | 0:15:25 | 0:15:28 | |
Tom! | 0:15:30 | 0:15:31 | |
Oh, my God! | 0:15:31 | 0:15:34 | |
Oh...my...God! | 0:15:34 | 0:15:37 | |
You're not how I remember you at all. | 0:15:39 | 0:15:42 | |
I was about to say exactly the same thing. | 0:15:42 | 0:15:45 | |
Guys...you must meet my girlfriend. | 0:15:45 | 0:15:47 | |
Fiona, this is Tom and Ben, my oldest and dearest pals. | 0:15:48 | 0:15:53 | |
Tom's just come back from Calais. | 0:15:53 | 0:15:55 | |
Imagine the biggest bottle of Malibu you've ever seen. | 0:15:57 | 0:16:00 | |
Now double it. | 0:16:01 | 0:16:03 | |
You're still not even close. | 0:16:03 | 0:16:05 | |
He's blowing my mind. | 0:16:07 | 0:16:10 | |
Come on, Matthew, I want to dance. | 0:16:10 | 0:16:12 | |
-Fiona seems a bit... -Of a bitch. Yeah, she is. | 0:16:12 | 0:16:17 | |
What does Matthew even see in her? | 0:16:17 | 0:16:19 | |
# Missy be puttin' it down I'm the hottest round | 0:16:19 | 0:16:22 | |
# I told y'all mother... Y'all can't stop me now | 0:16:22 | 0:16:25 | |
# Listen to me now I'm lasting 20 rounds | 0:16:25 | 0:16:27 | |
# And if you want me... # | 0:16:27 | 0:16:28 | |
Now I really need a drink. | 0:16:28 | 0:16:30 | |
Your wish is my giant bottle of Malibu. | 0:16:30 | 0:16:34 | |
No, thanks, Tom. If I drank all of this, I might do something really stupid. | 0:16:35 | 0:16:40 | |
SHE PANTS | 0:16:42 | 0:16:44 | |
Where am I? | 0:16:44 | 0:16:46 | |
Oh. | 0:16:47 | 0:16:48 | |
Oh, my God. | 0:16:50 | 0:16:51 | |
Er... Listen, Tom, | 0:16:51 | 0:16:54 | |
I was drunk and... | 0:16:54 | 0:16:55 | |
Ben?! | 0:16:55 | 0:16:56 | |
Oh, shit. | 0:16:56 | 0:16:58 | |
DOOR SHUTS HE SNORTS | 0:17:12 | 0:17:15 | |
"Never tell anyone about this, or else! | 0:17:17 | 0:17:21 | |
"PS, you should really tidy this room." | 0:17:21 | 0:17:24 | |
I can't believe you've slept with Rachel! | 0:17:29 | 0:17:31 | |
I can't believe you told them! | 0:17:31 | 0:17:33 | |
You took advantage of me when I was drunk! | 0:17:33 | 0:17:35 | |
-HE GASPS -You took advantage of ME when I was drunk! | 0:17:35 | 0:17:38 | |
Why did no-one take advantage of ME? I was drunk! | 0:17:38 | 0:17:42 | |
It's fine. | 0:17:44 | 0:17:45 | |
Honestly. I'm fine. | 0:17:45 | 0:17:47 | |
Just going to go and get a drink. | 0:17:49 | 0:17:51 | |
-You massive -BLEEP! | 0:17:54 | 0:17:55 | |
-CROCKERY SMASHES -You ginormous -BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP! | 0:17:55 | 0:17:58 | |
-You heart wa... -BLEEP! -You horse lasagne! | 0:17:58 | 0:18:02 | |
-You -BLEEP -cunt! | 0:18:02 | 0:18:05 | |
Well, ha-ha, let's not worry about the past. | 0:18:13 | 0:18:16 | |
Let's focus on the present. | 0:18:16 | 0:18:18 | |
What's pinned to that headboard is worth a fortune. | 0:18:18 | 0:18:20 | |
Did you bring it with you when you moved in? | 0:18:20 | 0:18:22 | |
-Yes. -Go and get it! | 0:18:22 | 0:18:24 | |
Just the Pog, I mean, not the whole... | 0:18:27 | 0:18:30 | |
...headboard. | 0:18:33 | 0:18:35 | |
Here it is! We're rich! | 0:18:35 | 0:18:37 | |
BOTH: Yeah! | 0:18:37 | 0:18:39 | |
But it's not on here. | 0:18:39 | 0:18:40 | |
What? Maybe I tidied it away. | 0:18:40 | 0:18:43 | |
-SHE SCOFFS -Be serious, Ben. | 0:18:43 | 0:18:46 | |
When was the last time you had that Pog? | 0:18:46 | 0:18:49 | |
Well... | 0:18:49 | 0:18:51 | |
must have been four years ago. | 0:18:51 | 0:18:54 | |
It was the day Tom and I moved into this flat. | 0:18:54 | 0:18:58 | |
# DIZZEE RASCAL: Bonkers | 0:19:00 | 0:19:02 | |
Maybe I'm out of touch, but I just don't get modern music. | 0:19:02 | 0:19:05 | |
# REDNEX: Cotton Eye Joe That's more like it. | 0:19:05 | 0:19:07 | |
# ...I'd been married long time ago | 0:19:07 | 0:19:09 | |
# Where did you come from? Where did you go? # | 0:19:09 | 0:19:12 | |
Ben, watch your feet on the stairs. | 0:19:13 | 0:19:15 | |
I dropped something, so there's some water... | 0:19:15 | 0:19:18 | |
and some glass... | 0:19:18 | 0:19:20 | |
and a goldfish. | 0:19:20 | 0:19:22 | |
SWITCHES MUSIC OFF | 0:19:22 | 0:19:24 | |
Dude-decahedron! | 0:19:24 | 0:19:27 | |
Hey, housemate! | 0:19:27 | 0:19:29 | |
I shouldn't have boxed up all my other clothes. | 0:19:40 | 0:19:43 | |
Whoa! | 0:19:46 | 0:19:48 | |
Listen, I'm sorry Fiona split up with you, | 0:19:49 | 0:19:52 | |
but it does mean we get to fulfil our pact and all live together. | 0:19:52 | 0:19:56 | |
Ha! | 0:19:56 | 0:19:58 | |
Besides, you're better off without her. | 0:19:58 | 0:20:01 | |
-That girl was a complete bi... -DOOR OPENS | 0:20:01 | 0:20:04 | |
...bibbity bobbity boo! | 0:20:04 | 0:20:06 | |
Fiona! You're still here! | 0:20:07 | 0:20:10 | |
Perfect. Just two of the many reasons I'm leaving you. | 0:20:10 | 0:20:13 | |
Well, now you can live with your pathetic school friends and never grow up. | 0:20:14 | 0:20:18 | |
-Brilliant! -Cheer up. | 0:20:18 | 0:20:21 | |
How about we put some music on and you can have a dance? | 0:20:21 | 0:20:25 | |
# ...Missy be puttin' it down I'm the hottest round... # | 0:20:25 | 0:20:28 | |
I'm going through a difficult break-up! | 0:20:28 | 0:20:30 | |
-SWITCHES MUSIC OFF -Worth a try. | 0:20:30 | 0:20:33 | |
I'll be back tomorrow, Matthew, for the rest of my stuff, | 0:20:33 | 0:20:35 | |
which is clearly labelled. | 0:20:35 | 0:20:37 | |
-Rachel! -Well, that's me moved out of my room. | 0:20:40 | 0:20:43 | |
Sorry, but it still smells a bit of my perfume. | 0:20:43 | 0:20:45 | |
Bagsy my room! | 0:20:45 | 0:20:47 | |
Ben. | 0:20:50 | 0:20:51 | |
Rachel. | 0:20:51 | 0:20:53 | |
Um... | 0:20:53 | 0:20:55 | |
Listen... | 0:20:55 | 0:20:56 | |
-Um... -Rachel! | 0:20:56 | 0:20:58 | |
I have got you a brilliant house-leaving present. | 0:20:58 | 0:21:03 | |
So, this one must be my room. | 0:21:06 | 0:21:08 | |
CLATTERING | 0:21:11 | 0:21:12 | |
Ooh! | 0:21:12 | 0:21:14 | |
It's going to need a tidy. | 0:21:14 | 0:21:16 | |
Oh, I'm going to miss living with you, Matthew. | 0:21:19 | 0:21:22 | |
But I'll call you in the week. | 0:21:22 | 0:21:23 | |
You thought any more about that internship at Carabine Promotions? | 0:21:23 | 0:21:26 | |
I think I can do a little bit better than a temp job at your office. | 0:21:26 | 0:21:29 | |
Don't forget, I almost got a 2:2 in Leisure and Tourism. | 0:21:30 | 0:21:34 | |
Ta-dah! | 0:21:38 | 0:21:40 | |
Oh, Tom! | 0:21:40 | 0:21:42 | |
It's so...big. | 0:21:42 | 0:21:43 | |
-HORN HONKS -Oh, better go. Andrew's waiting outside. | 0:21:43 | 0:21:47 | |
Who's Andrew? The removal man? | 0:21:47 | 0:21:49 | |
No, Tom! Andrew's my boyfriend. | 0:21:49 | 0:21:52 | |
Bye, guys. | 0:21:59 | 0:22:01 | |
Now that I'm living here, nothing can hold me back. | 0:22:05 | 0:22:09 | |
Who knows where life will take me? | 0:22:11 | 0:22:13 | |
I can't believe that was four years ago. | 0:22:17 | 0:22:19 | |
I need to tidy that room. | 0:22:21 | 0:22:24 | |
Still, it was fun remembering things, wasn't it? | 0:22:24 | 0:22:27 | |
What? | 0:22:28 | 0:22:30 | |
The Pog! You haven't remembered the Pog. | 0:22:30 | 0:22:32 | |
Oh, yeah. I was just getting to that. | 0:22:32 | 0:22:35 | |
Who knows where life will take me? | 0:22:38 | 0:22:40 | |
Hm! SIGHS CONTENTEDLY | 0:22:57 | 0:23:00 | |
So, it was...under this table all along! | 0:23:05 | 0:23:08 | |
We're rich! | 0:23:08 | 0:23:10 | |
ALL CHEER | 0:23:10 | 0:23:11 | |
It's not here. | 0:23:15 | 0:23:17 | |
Can I trust anything you say any more? | 0:23:17 | 0:23:20 | |
Wait. This isn't the same table. | 0:23:20 | 0:23:23 | |
That table was Fiona's. She came back the next day to pick it up | 0:23:23 | 0:23:26 | |
with the rest of her clearly labelled stuff. | 0:23:26 | 0:23:29 | |
Well, then you need to phone Fiona. | 0:23:29 | 0:23:30 | |
HE CHUCKLES | 0:23:30 | 0:23:33 | |
D'you know what? | 0:23:33 | 0:23:35 | |
I'm not that bothered about these Pogs after all. | 0:23:35 | 0:23:37 | |
-Oh, come on, Matthew! -Matthew! | 0:23:37 | 0:23:39 | |
All right, all right! | 0:23:39 | 0:23:40 | |
DOORBELL RINGS | 0:23:46 | 0:23:47 | |
I can't do it. Rachel, you answer it. | 0:23:51 | 0:23:54 | |
I can't answer it. She hates me. Tom... | 0:23:56 | 0:23:59 | |
Don't look at me. | 0:23:59 | 0:24:01 | |
-BEN: -I'll get it. | 0:24:01 | 0:24:02 | |
What? You said it was knight-time. | 0:24:07 | 0:24:10 | |
Ben, you look...fantastic. | 0:24:16 | 0:24:20 | |
Knight-time. Huh! Yeah. | 0:24:20 | 0:24:22 | |
Matthew, it's so good to see you. You look great. | 0:24:25 | 0:24:29 | |
Rachel! You look more beautiful than ever. | 0:24:30 | 0:24:33 | |
Tom! | 0:24:35 | 0:24:37 | |
Hello! | 0:24:41 | 0:24:42 | |
Fiona, you're... you're really nice! | 0:24:44 | 0:24:47 | |
Come in. | 0:24:47 | 0:24:49 | |
Oh! I love what you've done with the place. | 0:24:49 | 0:24:52 | |
Yeah, I think might owe you all an apology for the way I used to treat you all. | 0:24:52 | 0:24:57 | |
I guess back then I... I might have been a bit of a bitch. | 0:24:57 | 0:25:00 | |
ALL: No! | 0:25:00 | 0:25:02 | |
I was just so unhappy. But I sorted myself out. | 0:25:02 | 0:25:06 | |
I went to a therapist who told me the whole time I was dating Matthew | 0:25:06 | 0:25:09 | |
I was just massively sexually unfulfilled. | 0:25:09 | 0:25:11 | |
Huh! Let's have a look at this table, eh, shall we? | 0:25:14 | 0:25:17 | |
Before we do that... | 0:25:17 | 0:25:18 | |
...there's someone very special I'd like you to meet. | 0:25:19 | 0:25:22 | |
Matthew, this is Martin. | 0:25:27 | 0:25:29 | |
# CAT STEVENS: Father And Son | 0:25:29 | 0:25:31 | |
You should have told me. | 0:25:31 | 0:25:33 | |
# It's not time to make a change | 0:25:33 | 0:25:36 | |
# Just relax, take it easy | 0:25:36 | 0:25:40 | |
# You're still young that's your fault | 0:25:40 | 0:25:43 | |
# There's so much you have to know | 0:25:43 | 0:25:47 | |
# Find a girl... # | 0:25:47 | 0:25:48 | |
And this is my husband, Marcus. | 0:25:48 | 0:25:50 | |
MUSIC STOPS | 0:25:50 | 0:25:52 | |
Well, Fiona, you've certainly got a type. | 0:25:55 | 0:25:58 | |
You must be Matthew. I've heard all about you. | 0:25:58 | 0:26:02 | |
I was Fiona's therapist. | 0:26:02 | 0:26:04 | |
And let me tell you, I... I really got to the root of the problem. | 0:26:04 | 0:26:07 | |
Christ alive, mate, your kid's right there! | 0:26:07 | 0:26:10 | |
Now, Matthew, I can't sell you our old coffee table. | 0:26:10 | 0:26:13 | |
You can just have it. | 0:26:13 | 0:26:15 | |
It's been so lovely to see you all again. | 0:26:15 | 0:26:17 | |
Come on, Martin, let's get you to your dance class. | 0:26:17 | 0:26:21 | |
And then we'll get Mummy home for a little...therapy session. | 0:26:21 | 0:26:24 | |
-Oh! -Eurgh! | 0:26:24 | 0:26:27 | |
We did it! We're rich! | 0:26:27 | 0:26:29 | |
Yeah! | 0:26:29 | 0:26:31 | |
And all it cost us was our friendship. | 0:26:31 | 0:26:34 | |
Oh... Come on, mate. | 0:26:34 | 0:26:36 | |
Tom, get over it. We were drunk. It was just meaningless, wild sex. | 0:26:36 | 0:26:42 | |
-BEN: -Yeah. | 0:26:42 | 0:26:44 | |
And only once. Most of the night we were just... | 0:26:44 | 0:26:48 | |
-cuddling. -Aarrrrghhhh! | 0:26:48 | 0:26:52 | |
How long before those two get together? | 0:26:54 | 0:26:57 | |
All done? | 0:27:01 | 0:27:02 | |
The Pog! | 0:27:14 | 0:27:16 | |
-HEAVENLY MUSIC PLAYS -This time, we really are rich! | 0:27:16 | 0:27:20 | |
My collection is complete. | 0:27:20 | 0:27:23 | |
-Hang on. -MUSIC STOPS | 0:27:26 | 0:27:27 | |
There's an identical one right next to it. | 0:27:27 | 0:27:29 | |
Oh, God! | 0:27:30 | 0:27:32 | |
I've remembered the wrong Pog! | 0:27:32 | 0:27:33 | |
This wasn't the final Pog. This was a swapsy. | 0:27:38 | 0:27:41 | |
What did the other Pog look like? | 0:27:41 | 0:27:43 | |
It was a shiny. A silver shiny. | 0:27:43 | 0:27:47 | |
And what happened to it? | 0:27:47 | 0:27:48 | |
They say if you give him something shiny, he'll eat it. | 0:27:52 | 0:27:55 | |
Hey! Nice bum bag. | 0:27:55 | 0:27:57 | |
It's not a bum bag, it's my Pogtainer. | 0:27:57 | 0:27:59 | |
-Pogs? -Shiny! | 0:27:59 | 0:28:02 | |
HE GULPS | 0:28:04 | 0:28:05 | |
I've got no idea what happened to that shiny Pog. | 0:28:06 | 0:28:09 | |
Well... | 0:28:10 | 0:28:11 | |
I guess we'll never know. | 0:28:11 | 0:28:13 | |
I suppose what we've learnt from this episode | 0:28:18 | 0:28:20 | |
is you can't live in the past, so it's important to forgive and forget. | 0:28:20 | 0:28:24 | |
And finally, they don't make 'em like they used to. | 0:28:24 | 0:28:27 | |
# If it hadn't been for Cotton Eye Joe I'd been married long time ago | 0:28:27 | 0:28:31 | |
# Where did you come from? Where did you go? | 0:28:31 | 0:28:33 | |
# Where did you come from Cotton Eye Joe? | 0:28:33 | 0:28:35 | |
# If it hadn't been for Cotton Eye Joe I'd been married long time ago | 0:28:35 | 0:28:37 | |
# Where did you come from? Where did you go? | 0:28:37 | 0:28:40 | |
# Where did you come from Cotton Eye Joe? | 0:28:40 | 0:28:42 | |
# If it hadn't been for Cotton Eye Joe I'd been married long time ago | 0:28:49 | 0:28:53 | |
# Where did you come from? Where did you go? | 0:28:53 | 0:28:54 | |
# Where did you come from Cotton Eye Joe? | 0:28:54 | 0:28:56 | |
# If it hadn't been for Cotton Eye Joe I'd been married long time ago | 0:28:56 | 0:29:00 | |
# Where did you come from? Where did you go? | 0:29:00 | 0:29:02 | |
# Where did you come from Cotton Eye Joe? # | 0:29:02 | 0:29:04 |
