Making History Being Human

I phoned to apologise for being so ungentlemanly.

Will you let me the privilege of making it up to you?

You're no Saviour. No-one will stop us!

I'm a friend when you need one.

Recently, there's been this minority

who seem keen to get you guys out in the open.

They found Jenny Wilson's body at Upper Neuadd reservoir. Nobody goes there, it's desolate!

Brace yourself for some serious cuddling.

-But you have to come with me!

-Who are you?

It's me, Annie.

I'm Eve.

This programme contains some strong language and scenes that viewers may find upsetting

It's not dissatisfaction.

It's a feeling more akin to having been born in captivity.

A seeping realisation that your dreams and ambitions

are just too big, too rich for this domestic world.

OK, are you planning to say anything I can use as your defence?

A defence for what?

What you were arrested for! Illegal gambling.

Specifically, according to the reams of documents and papers they found,

dog fights.

Don't worry about that.

Until recently, any dealings with the police

were handled by our family solicitor, Robert Mercer.

But he passed away...

unexpectedly on the 24th of this month, so...

Today's the 20th.

Is it?

Hmm. Anyway.

Therefore we need a new legal representative.

And destiny has decided...it's you.

Well, I don't think you're really in the position.

I already have a job.

But you're bored, Mr Cutler.

In your lifetime,

how many people have told you

you're going to achieve great things?

That you're destined to become a history maker?

This is hardly...

I don't know, a few.

-Now, can we just...?

-The thing is,

you agree.

Roy...

..would you mind shutting the door?

CUTLER SCREAMS

Very soon, some very special people will arrive.

And I'm planning something to welcome them.

A tribute.

Now, their gratitude will be...

spectacular, and I want you to be a part of it.

Why you?

Because I could see that you were men whose dreams are too big,

too rich for this domestic world.

History makers, my friends...

GATE CRASHES OPEN

My God!

It's you!

Mum!

But it's me, it's Eve.

Eve is a baby.

I know, I know, but I grew up.

I needed to tell you something,

so I died and came back through my history, like how Lia took Mitchell to his past.

That's what gave me the idea. Every single moment is here somewhere.

-You just need to...

-How do you know about Mitchell?

You told me everything.

Mitchell, George and Nina.

Lia, McNair, Gilbert, Herrick.

These are the stories I grew up with.

So what is it? This thing that you want to tell me.

Mum...

Just tell me...so that I can go.

I have to show you.

Show me what?

My present.

Your future.

What are you doing here?

I was going to ask you the same thing.

Oh, look at you.

I can't believe it!

They found the body of a coroner. At the reservoir in Upper Neuadd.

Someone's been working out!

That's where we used to...

Bury our corpses, yeah. Like you said at the time,

lots of off-road parking, peaceful spot.

That coroner filed a report,

saying human flesh was found in the stomach of the Box Tunnel killer.

You told her to. Why?

Christ, is this what we're talking about?

55 years, Hal.

Mark, two glasses and a decanter.

Let me introduce you to the guys.

Guys, this is Hal. He...

Well, he made me.

This guy was a monster, take it from me.

We used to get up to some stuff. Tell them, Hal, what we used to do.

-Long time ago.

-Seems like yesterday to me.

DRINK IS POURED

Ah, brilliant.

God, it is good to see you.

To us. To you.

What's the matter? Take it.

Hal?

I need to...

I'll come back.

You're going?

Again? You're kidding me?

I just need...

I'll be back, I promise.

And we'll talk.

EVE GURGLES

-Are you sure Annie didn't say anything?

-No, I told you.

Why would she just leave like that?

Where are you taking Alex tonight?

I've heard Holiday On Ice is in town. You should take her there.

Me and Eve were talking about it earlier, weren't we?

It looks brilliant. And she'd get in for free.

Eve, not Alex.

We're meeting at a bar. Then I expect we'll have supper.

The chef at the Parc Hotel has a Michelin star.

I read a review in the Observer.

Oh, I know the place you mean.

I was looking in the window the other day

and the manager come out and shooed me away.

Right, I guess I'll have that ravioli then.

Sorry, are you suggesting I invite you along too?

-No. Shut up. That'd be mad.

-Three people can't have dinner together. That's barbaric!

You can't ring up Alex this late and canc...

I have no intention of...

HE BREATHES DEEPLY

-Was there anything else?

-Yeah, I need you to take Eve for a bit.

-No. Eve and I don't get along.

-Don't be soft.

She thinks you're brilliant. Look, she's laughing.

EVE CRIES

What happens if Annie never comes back?

What if we have to look after Eve forever,

and if I want to get married? Who'll take me on with a kid in tow?

-Yes, of course. Otherwise you're quite the catch(!)

-What?

Nothing.

An hour.

Be good.

She was your kill.

Yeah, I didn't realise we'd decided that.

Lucky Fergus was there to finish the job.

That keeps happening.

I think "keeps" is a bit...

You like the blood, though.

Have you got any?

I mean...yeah.

You're becoming the drunk who never buys a round.

All we require...is everything.

KNOCK AT DOOR

Tom. Thank God you're here.

Mr Cutler, how are you doing?

Now, as I said on the phone, the Old Ones arrive tomorrow.

But it's OK, cos I've got a plan.

Once they've disembarked, they'll gather in a building in the city.

This is the last time they'll all be in the same place together

before they fan out and start tearing the world apart.

But here's the thing, tomorrow is a full moon.

So what I was thinking was, I get you in there, you transform and...

how can I put this?

Tear them to shreds.

Hey, you have a skill set that sets you apart.

I'm sorry. I can't.

What?

"All me life, I've felt like a weapon.

"Something blunt and simple.

"But I want to be human now.

"To argue our case like a human.

"I want to be clever and subtle

"and to use proper words and be tactical."

And what could be more noble? But I think you...

You know what I saw, the first time we met? A hero.

-A history maker.

-There's more.

"I was brought up to believe all vampires are evil,

"vampires can't change. But then I meet vampires who are nice.

"For example, there's you, for instance. Point."

Oh!

"So now I don't know what to think."

Yeah... No, I totally...

But the Old Ones are different, Tom.

They've spent too long killing and feeding to be reformed.

It does something to their mind.

"So at the end of the day, it's best if we didn't see each other again.

"Thank you. Then leave."

There are people who need to see me do this!

You know what?

You're right.

In fact, to show you that there's no hard feelings, Tom,

let me buy you dinner.

-Dinner?

-I know this little place, it's small...

Yeah, go on, then.

Good.

So this is the future? Really?

For you, yeah.

Ooh, do people have jet packs?

No. No, mostly everyone's dead.

Oh.

Where are we?

Funnily enough, YOU brought ME here.

I was a baby when humanity fell.

You're just days away, you know.

The Old Ones arrive soon. That's when it starts.

At first no-one believed it.

They'd heard rumours, but there were no photos, no footage.

Then vampires killed the Prime Minister on national television.

And, um, what did we do?

You wanted to get me somewhere safe, but the airports were under siege.

So...you brought me here.

You, me and Tom.

But everyone else had the same idea.

There must have been 50,000 people here,

cramming onto ferries, yachts, container ships, tug boats.

A biblical exodus.

You told me the ships were groaning with the weight of them.

And then the screams started.

SCREAMING

Vampires started killing people from the back of the crowd.

There was this huge surge as everyone pushed forward, trying to get away.

But...there was nowhere for them to go. They just...

You told me it was like

the water was boiling.

So many people.

Someone must have fought back.

Of course.

Whole countries stayed under human control for a while.

But they'd get so overwhelmed by refugees,

they'd have to start closing their borders

and negotiating with the vampires.

And then, eventually they fell too.

Um...

I'm not saying that I believe that you are, um...

you know,

who you say you are...

But...

Aren't you the Saviour?

-I am.

-Then why is this happening? Why didn't you stop it?

Because of you.

Me?

How?

We're getting to that.

Come on.

MUSIC: "Who Needs The Sunshine?" by The Heavy

(WHISPERS) You can do this.

You can do this.

You can do this.

# I make a good man Like a bad son

# Like a daddy that you call number one

# I see this big heart

# Like a big steak

# Making your love make me feel the lick

# So when the clouds come... #

Funny thing is, I've been thinking about you recently.

Maybe that's why I buried the coroner there.

As a message for me?

No, nothing like that.

I really did think you were proper dead.

No, more of an homage. Because of what I'm doing, I guess.

Which is?

You're very curious. That's new.

Perhaps I can help.

Why did you go?

I deserve to know that much.

I wanted something different.

You couldn't talk to me about it?

No, you were part of "it".

You marooned me, in a different world.

You...

Talk about burning my bridges.

Yeah.

HE CHUCKLES

"Yeah"?

That's all?

"Yeah"?!

So, your new life, your "something different",

you must have got bored, then.

-Bored?

-This is the crucible.

This is where the Old Ones are headed. But here you are!

That's not the behaviour of somebody who wants to stay hidden.

When do they arrive?

Soon, I guess.

No-one knows. You're a circumspect bunch.

Look, you could go straight back to the top of the pile.

That's cool, that's your rightful place.

All I ask for in return is,

when they write the history of what's about to happen,

they give me a mention. And a statue.

And...maybe Brazil.

In return for what?

It's traditional to present the Old Ones

with a tribute on their arrival.

So whatever this is, it's for them?

-I would have told you this morning if you'd hung around.

-I'm here now.

In body...

yeah.

What do you say?

Old times?

And then you'll tell me?

And then I'll tell you.

Did you think this was the end?

Did you think deification comes without small print?

What do I have to do?

Nick? Who is it?

No, not her. Please.

Nick!

It's no-one, just some people from work.

Just go back to bed.

Humanity and mercy are an old skin, don't you understand?

What do they want? It's after midnight.

To be truly free, to finally become a history maker,

you must shed it.

Hello?

What's going on?

Mrs Cutler.

Rachel, isn't it?

My name is Henry Yorke,

I'm a colleague of your husband's.

I can't apologise enough for the intrusion.

It is a little late.

Believe me, only a matter of the utmost importance would compel me

to disturb you at such an ungodly hour.

Well, if it's important...

No, we are denying him the company of an angel.

He shall be with you in a matter of moments.

Fucking kill her.

I can't.

I'm sorry. Not my wife.

Let's go.

Thank you.

I had such hopes for you.

Ahh!

You still don't believe me, do you? That I am who I say I am.

It's a lot to take in.

Why are you looking at me like that?

I haven't seen you since I was 18. I've missed you.

Why, what happened to me?

Um...it doesn't matter. We should...

What happened to me?

Come on.

Oh, Jesus!

God, finally! I have had one of the most bullshit days.

So my middle brother,

Ryan, gets a tattoo.

Sit down, will you?

Anyway, he manages to find

the only dyslexic tattooist in all of south Wales.

I don't know how, but this guy manages to spell "Arsenal"

with a "K"! I mean...

I like your mouth.

Oh, thanks, sugar!

I'm sure that sounded less creepy in your head.

I bought you a drink, by the way. But you were late, so I drank it.

-I've been drinking already.

-Hmm.

Creepy and a day drinker.

Well, I'm just going to put this out there - we should get married.

I like your neck, too.

Are you aiming for enigmatic or...?

Cos what I'm getting is "sociopath"!

I bet your skin tastes of salt.

OK, no, this is getting a little old.

But, lucky for you,

I'm yet to have sex under the coalition government, so...

You want to have sex?

We can have sex.

Yeah, OK, I think I preferred it when you were Forrest Gump.

I think I'm going to hurt you.

Hal. Don't do this. Just...be nice

I'm not nice.

So pretend!

Jesus! You know, I just...

I just wanted one gentle thing to happen.

You know, one thing that wasn't my brothers or my dad or...

OK, seriously?

Fuck you.

Oh, my God, I am so stupid.

You know, it really doesn't matter how nice they look,

it's just the fingerprints that tell them apart.

HE SHIVERS

Tell me about Tom.

But you knew him.

Not very well.

Well, he's a child. He's lovely.

He's like a pet. A bloody big one,

like a St Bernard or a horse or something.

But, you know, he's physically incapable of lying or being cruel

so I do worry about him, almost as much as I worry about you...

you know who.

But he's, yeah, just a kid, really.

He shouldn't be killing vampires,

he should be getting disappointing A level results!

He died here.

A few years ago, the vampires rounded up

all the humans and werewolves they could find.

The humans were branded with an "H", and the werewolves with a "W",

and put into these camps.

There was an outbreak of cholera.

Hundreds died, and the vampires brought back the dog fights.

That's...

That's what happened to Tom?

He was a...a cold man.

Difficult to like, if I'm honest.

There were rumours he'd killed some humans by accident one time

and never got over it.

Some say he held back during his final dog fight,

even after he'd transformed.

He'd rather have died than kill again.

And where did I go?

After everything fell apart,

you, um...

you buried friend after friend,

you began to lose control of your tangibility

until eventually you just...

..drifted apart.

Like smoke on the breeze.

Well, glad I asked!

One more stop.

I've saved the best till last.

DOOR OPENS

Oh, it's you.

Have you heard anything off Annie?

I'm getting a bit worried.

What happens if she's completed her business and passed over?

How'd it go with Alex? You didn't kill her, did you?

Tell me tomorrow. I've got to go out for something to eat now.

Apparently this place has got seven Michelin stars

and you get bread in a basket, and at the end you get coffee.

So, how do I look?

I splashed out, didn't I? Went to the Cancer Research shop.

Right, I'll be back for 11.

Oh, I hope Annie comes back soon.

Oh, the Old Ones are coming tomorrow,

so in the morning, we need to draw up a plan of action.

Eve usually wakes up in an hour for a feed.

You're enjoying this, aren't you?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's Christmas(!)

Just tell me the thing.

No, look, there's stuff you need to see first.

Right, that's it. I'm not moving.

Mum!

Annie.

-Feels good to sit down.

-God, I'd forgotten how...

-How what?

-No, nothing. Never mind.

-No, no, no, how what?

-How irritating you can be!

-Oh, well, that's nice!

-You get this fucking...

-Don't swear.

Sorry. This fixation, you can be so... oh!

You can be so difficult sometimes!

Oh, well, I'm sorry.

Maybe I should just, ah, wither and dissolve.

Oh, God, no, not this!

No, you go on. Go on without me. And don't worry about me.

-Because I would hate to be a burden to you.

-OK, look. I'm sorry.

You know, I try my very best.

And if trying your best is a crime, then yes, shoot me now.

I know, I know, I know.

That came out wrong, OK?

I'm sorry, Mum.

SHE SNIFFS

Have you been smoking?

Come on.

End of the line.

Manager thought you might be more comfortable with this.

Oh, no, you're all right, thanks.

No, they mean put it on.

Places like this, they like you to wear a tie.

It's my fault, I should have said.

Oh, right. Sorry.

-You know how to tie a tie?

-Never worn one.

Me dad said vampires could use them to choke or garrotte us in a fight.

Well, let's take that risk. Come here.

There you go. Ignore them.

Who?

The other customers. They're staring. It's fine.

Are they?

So, Shiraz or Merlot?

Um, that's a toughie...

I'm sorry I can't help you out with the Old Ones.

I just think we should have another go at trying to reason with them.

Hey, Tom, it's fine. Really.

Do I detect Allison's influence?

You're such a sweet couple. People that different don't usually last.

But I've a good feeling about you two.

She's gone back to her family, as it goes.

She wanted to stay, but I wouldn't let her.

This life ain't for her.

But I've got a plan.

I'm going to sort meself out, get all polite and clever and that.

And go and see her.

Just turn up, like.

THEY BOTH LAUGH

That's brilliant. She's going to stick around, is she?

-She won't hook up with anyone else?

-Allison's not like that.

Hmm?

Nah, of course not.

No, stability, prospects, culture,

she's not the kind of girl to worry about things like that.

And her parents will adore you, I just know it.

Her parents? Do you think so?

Are you serious?

Imagine your daughter brought you home.

What's not to love?

EVE CRIES

I wanted to show you what happened to Hal.

Don't tell me,

they chopped him into little pieces

and sprinkled him over the HMS Belfast.

Turn around.

EVE GURGLES

That's Hal?

-(CHANTING)

-Lord Hal, Lord Hal, Lord Hal.

One of their most ruthless commanders.

Those camps I showed you,

they were his idea.

He's violent, sadistic and, well,

quite literally their poster boy.

EVE CRIES

No.

No, I... I won't believe it. He's...

He's not evil. Not any more.

He lives with us. You know him. He's changed your nappies.

That's the only Hal I know.

You see, my history and yours

started to separate the moment I appeared to him and Leo and Pearl.

That was you? Why?

I've been trying to rewrite history.

I thought getting Hal into the house would do that.

Well...and you have. So maybe that's it now.

-That's it, you've done enough!

-Well, how am I?

I mean, the baby. How is the baby?

She's fine.

There's your answer, then.

Look, we're done now.

I'm taking you home.

Then I'll tell you what you need to do.

Annie?

Hal?

EVE GURGLES

Hello there. Eh?

Yeah. You all right? You all right?!

TOM MAKES BABY NOISES

Go in there. Would the nice little baby sleep?

Ay-up, you been on the Kia-Ora?

You're drunk.

And you're stupid.

But in the morning, I shall be sober...

.something, something, something.

What are you doing? Get off!

Outside.

Oh, my God, fisticuffs?

Not in front of Eve.

You've been drinking blood.

Relax. No-one died.

He was right, the Old Ones really are the worst.

-Who was right?

-When Annie comes back, we'll tell her what you did.

Annie's not coming back!

What? Of course she is. Shut up about that.

Annie!

Annie.

Come out, come out, wherever you are!

She wouldn't just leave me, leave Eve like that.

You're a child, you know that?

Watching you negotiate grown-up emotions is like...

watching a gorilla perform keyhole surgery.

Maybe I am.

Maybe I'd rather be that than a monster.

HAL CHUCKLES

This is what I'm saying!

This is why Annie's gone!

Same with Allison.

They worked it out! You idiot.

We can raid the dressing-up box and pretend to be human,

but, ultimately, what's the point?

Sooner or later, we all go back to being the monsters we truly are.

RINGING TONE

Mr Cutler?

Nick?

It's Tom.

I'm in.

FEVERED BREATHING

Cutler.

What's going on?

So suspicious!

We're just pleased to see you.

Actually, it's more than that. We wanted to reassure you.

-What about?

-The other night.

Your wife.

Perhaps killing just isn't your strong suit. No matter.

We all have different roles to play.

You provide us with legal advice.

Louis here is the muscle.

And Dennis, well...

Actually, Dennis, what do you do, apart from eat biscuits?

Anyway.

Let's put all of that behind us. Hm?

Take it.

Yesterday was your first blood for how long?

I mean, you were pretty out of it.

55 years.

-This glass is filthy. Let me get one of the guys...

-It's fine!

Really.

It's fine.

OK.

55 years! Man, that is a long time to be doing a Fossey.

Doing a what?

Hanging out with the primates, like Dian Fossey.

Gorillas In The Mist?

Ah, forget it.

Oh, please, again?

Come on, Hal, you want this.

HAL LAUGHS

What?

THEY ALL LAUGH

What?!

What's so funny?

Are you enjoying that?

I suppose I'd better tell you what I've been doing, then.

HE CHUCKLES

I'm nervous about telling you.

No, OK, come on.

The Old Ones, they think humanity

will just hand them the keys to the planet.

They haven't seen old grandmothers in Afghanistan

try to scratch the eyes out of Marines. Now, blunt is no good.

To overthrow an incentivised and resourceful race,

we've...we've got to be sneaky.

Softly, softly, massacre monkey.

OK, how do you make a rat look less threatening?

You put it next to a shark.

So, how do you make humans love vampires?

Show them something worse?

Werewolves.

You're going to reveal werewolves?

The coroner's report, the YouTube footage,

that was just preparing the ground.

Tonight is the last full moon before the Old Ones arrive

and in a few hours, this place will be packed full with people,

mainly young people, all with their camera phones and Twitter,

and all the technology we need to spread this event around the globe.

What event?

We get a werewolf - now, I've got him already -

and we drop him in here just before the full moon.

We lock a few doors - not all, we want some of the witnesses to escape

and we let him transform in front of all those people and their phones.

It'll be a massacre - utter panic and chaos.

You know, there's even a name for this?

Terrorists call it "a spectacular".

And then what happens?

The reveal.

Who will save us from the big bad wolf?

Ba-da-ba-bah!

It's us!

We have created a nightmare and now we provide the antidote.

Now this is where the others got it wrong.

You try and take the world by force

and humanity will fight you on every street corner.

But frighten them?

They'll line up, loosen their collars

and they'll bare their veins.

I'm not just doing this for the Old Ones.

I'm doing it for you.

I wanted to make you proud,

be a history maker.

This is...

This is insane.

Hmm.

I knew you'd be like this.

Soon as you came back, I could... smell that mercy on you,

like...like cigarette smoke.

Look, Hal, it happens!

Christ, it happened to me.

But, luckily...

you were there to help me through it.

And now I'm going to return the favour.

We weren't sure if you'd work it out when you tasted the blood.

I don't know if it works like that, between husbands and wives.

Apparently not.

What's going on?

No, no!

Ssh, ssh, ssh, ssh, ssh!

Don't you understand what I've done?

I've set you free.

But I don't want you to thank me.

I knew something was wrong when you freaked out over the blood.

So I had you followed, and there you were, breaking bread with a human!

How did her blood taste?

I know what it's like.

They get under your skin.

But I don't want you to thank me.

No, we're even now

and we can watch dawn break over the new world together.

Who's the werewolf?

Does it matter?

-Who is he?!

-His name's Tom. Why?

Of course.

This is why you coming back is so perfect.

Now this is the end of the journey that you started me on!

Don't do this.

Please.

Sorry, what?

I'll do anything.

Just stop this.

What are you doing?

Oh, God, are you begging?!

Now you stop! Seriously, it's horrid!

Please. Cutler.

Nick.

HE LAUGHS

Now he's calling me Nick!

You can't do this! You're...

You're Hal Yorke!

-I'm going to heave.

-Remember what you were.

What I was? No, you stole that from me!

You dragged me into this world, you killed my wife,

you turned me into a murderer, an addict.

You made me abandon my whole species!

I know.

-And there aren't words to tell you how sorry I am...

-No!

No, you do not do that and then apologise.

-No, sir!

-I can't let this happen, Cutler.

I will kill you if I have to.

But I will not let you take their world.

We don't deserve it.

Fair enough.

But you'll have to get out of here first.

DOOR LOCKS

Bugger.

SLOW HAND-CLAPPING

Well done.

No, seriously, that was...brilliant.

Just when I thought this holiday could not possibly get any worse.

OK. What is it that you want me to do?

Kill me.

All my life, I've been carried around like a mascot,

while the world around me crumbled and burned.

I didn't understand. Wasn't I supposed to stop this happening?

Then I got the final piece of the scripture,

and there it was.

In order to fulfil her destiny,

the War Child must die.

It was too late for me to change my world,

but maybe I could stop it ever happening.

So you sent Hal?

Hal is a monster in my world.

I assumed he'd kill me as soon as he worked out who I was.

When that didn't work, I sent Kirby.

-You put that animal in my home?

-You've seen what was at stake!

But I can't kill you.

I don't have a burnt arm. All that stuff about the Nemesis...

I'm the killer.

I orchestrated this. You're just the knife.

-The burn.

-Saviour and Nemesis.

Talk about multi-tasking...

You were in one of those camps?

They didn't know who I was. I always had false papers.

I was just rounded up with the others.

Eve, I am so sorry.

Look, I could send a thousand threats,

but Kirby made me realise your love for me would always defeat them.

So I had to come to you direct,

show you the world you'd created.

Alex, focus on my voice. Alex, Alex, you're in shock.

Er, no, you idiot. I was in shock,

Yeah, but I've been hiding in here now for about what, um, ten hours.

So I've gone from shock, via denial and depression

and, rather surprisingly, hunger and randiness,

to a frothing rage.

I swear I will avenge your death.

Firstly, someone needs a Tic Tac.

And, secondly, did I just hear right?

Did he say that you drank my blood?

I didn't realise it was your blood.

Oh, is that meant to make me feel better?!

I knew this would happen! I should never have gone out with you.

You bullied me into that drink.

Which drink? In the bar, or when you drank my blood?

Nah, I...

Christ, I was jowly.

How will killing you save the world?

All I know is, everything else on the parchment came true.

But I was protected all my life, and humanity fell.

Well, then, why didn't you kill you?

Mmm? Why didn't you pass over, go through a door and...you know?

A ghost can't be in the same place as its living body. That would be weird.

Sorry. What was I thinking(?)

This'll take you home.

I'm going?!

Yeah, you've...

You've got stuff to do.

Was I a good mother?

I'm not fishing, or anything, I just want to make sure that you felt...

..loved.

It wasn't a world for children.

But, yeah...

you were.

The best.

You're very brave.

And I'm proud of that.

And I make a bloody good cup of tea.

That's my girl!

Yay.

We'd better not, um...

It'll make things harder for you.

Yeah.

Remember,

a moment will come when you have to choose between letting me live...

and letting me die.

If you want to stop this happening, you have to let me die.

Goodbye, Eve.

Goodbye...

...Mum.

I'm sure Annie or Hal will be back any minute, but I've got to go.

I can't be near you tonight.

CAR HORN BLARES

You've been changed, bathed and fed.

We've watched Top Gear for two hours so you've got to be tired by now.

HE MAKES BABY NOISES

Where the bloody hell have you been?

Is she OK?

She's been going mad, she misses you. We all miss you!

And I need to talk to you about Hal. I think he's back on the blood.

-What?

-I've got to go, full moon and stuff.

-Just stay here, yeah?

-Tom...

The Old Ones are going to be here any day now,

if they're not already.

To stop them, we might have to...

..do terrible things.

What choice do we have?

None.

It's not fair, is it?

No.

DOORBELL RINGS

EVE GURGLES

Hey, champ! How are you feeling?

What's all this? Just in case I change my mind?

-No, I just wanted to make sure you get there safely.

-EVE CRIES

Have you got a baby in there?

Yeah. George and Nina's.

-The War Child?

-Don't tell me you believe all that and all?

I thought Regus killed her?

No, he slipped her to Annie during the kerfuffle.

Are you all right?

No. We do this. We stick with this.

Let's go save the world!

-You can rent-a-ghost outside and open the door.

-I can what?!

It's what Annie called it. I've no idea why.

It means teleporting. You can teleport!

I was about to say, "Wow, what have you been drinking?"

But I guess I know the answer to that one.

-We have to stop Cutler! You don't know what he's going to do!

-I do, actually.

Before he killed me, he monologued the whole thing.

I didn't think people actually did that.

Can we open the door, please?!

Right.

Yeah.

Well?!

I assume you just close your eyes and picture yourself somewhere else.

Trust me, I've been doing that since you arrived.

Now, the Old Ones have arrived. They're on their way.

I've got to do the meet and greet,

then, when we're at a full moon, I'll make myself scarce,

one of my guys will open the door for you and skedaddle,

leaving you...well, to do your thing.

HE EXHALES

It'll be fine, honest!

Look, no-one will forget what you do tonight.

You're going to be famous, Tom. A history maker.

You're going to make your dad so proud.

And, take it from me, there should be no better feeling than that.

Whoa! Yes!

How far was that?

Like two feet? Woo-hoo!

Yes!

In the same room.

-In the wrong direction.

-Well, you try Ghostbusting.

Rent-a-ghosting! God, the moment we get out of here,

-we are never seeing each other again.

-Oh, really?

I thought this was the beginning of a relationship(!)

HE SCOFFS

-Cutler!

-"So, how did you two meet?" "Well, bit of a funny story.

"His friend killed me and he drank my blood." Ha!

Ha(!) Get outside and open this door.

You know, for someone who works in the service industry,

you have terrible people skills.

DANCE MUSIC THROBS

HE SNIFFS

Those aren't vampires.

Mr Cutler!

There's been a mistake!

Those people aren't vampires!

You need to get them out of here!

Argh!

MUSIC POUNDS

Ah, yes!

In your own time(!)

All right, all right. Jesus!

Right. Great.

Thank you.

Er, wait! What the hell do I do now?

What?

I don't know.

Anyway, must dash. Friend about to kill lots of people.

I'm really dead, aren't I? This is all actually happening.

I... I don't understand.

I came here for a holiday and now I'm...now I'm dead.

And now my brothers and my dad are going to have to grieve for me.

Well, there's... We'll have to get my body to them somehow.

There'll be stuff to organise

and Ryan has a tattoo with a bloody typo on it...

And I'm...

I'm really dead.

Come with me.

We'll sort out...

..this, then we'll sort out you.

STRANGLED GROWLING

MUSIC BLARES

Argh!

GROWLING

Get out. Everybody!

Get out!

MUSIC BLARES

SNARLING

Get out!

Listen to me. You have to get out of here. It's an emergency!

Please, move! Quickly, towards...

HOWLING

Do it, now!

SNARLING

GROWLING

RUN!

SNARLING

SCREAMING

SCREAMING

You're welcome(!) You're welcome.

SNARLING

# Que sera, sera

# Whatever will be, will be

# The future's not ours to see

# Que sera, sera. #

Well, then...

Who's hungry?

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd