Making History Being Human


Making History

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Transcript


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I phoned to apologise for being so ungentlemanly.

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Will you let me the privilege of making it up to you?

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You're no Saviour. No-one will stop us!

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I'm a friend when you need one.

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Recently, there's been this minority

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who seem keen to get you guys out in the open.

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They found Jenny Wilson's body at Upper Neuadd reservoir. Nobody goes there, it's desolate!

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Brace yourself for some serious cuddling.

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-But you have to come with me!

-Who are you?

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It's me, Annie.

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I'm Eve.

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This programme contains some strong language and scenes that viewers may find upsetting

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It's not dissatisfaction.

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It's a feeling more akin to having been born in captivity.

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A seeping realisation that your dreams and ambitions

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are just too big, too rich for this domestic world.

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OK, are you planning to say anything I can use as your defence?

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A defence for what?

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What you were arrested for! Illegal gambling.

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Specifically, according to the reams of documents and papers they found,

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dog fights.

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Don't worry about that.

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Until recently, any dealings with the police

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were handled by our family solicitor, Robert Mercer.

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But he passed away...

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unexpectedly on the 24th of this month, so...

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Today's the 20th.

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Is it?

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Hmm. Anyway.

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Therefore we need a new legal representative.

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And destiny has decided...it's you.

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Well, I don't think you're really in the position.

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I already have a job.

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But you're bored, Mr Cutler.

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In your lifetime,

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how many people have told you

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you're going to achieve great things?

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That you're destined to become a history maker?

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This is hardly...

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I don't know, a few.

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-Now, can we just...?

-The thing is,

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you agree.

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Roy...

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..would you mind shutting the door?

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CUTLER SCREAMS

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Very soon, some very special people will arrive.

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And I'm planning something to welcome them.

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A tribute.

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Now, their gratitude will be...

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spectacular, and I want you to be a part of it.

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Why you?

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Because I could see that you were men whose dreams are too big,

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too rich for this domestic world.

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History makers, my friends...

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GATE CRASHES OPEN

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My God!

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It's you!

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Mum!

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But it's me, it's Eve.

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Eve is a baby.

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I know, I know, but I grew up.

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I needed to tell you something,

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so I died and came back through my history, like how Lia took Mitchell to his past.

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That's what gave me the idea. Every single moment is here somewhere.

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-You just need to...

-How do you know about Mitchell?

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You told me everything.

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Mitchell, George and Nina.

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Lia, McNair, Gilbert, Herrick.

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These are the stories I grew up with.

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So what is it? This thing that you want to tell me.

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Mum...

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Just tell me...so that I can go.

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I have to show you.

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Show me what?

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My present.

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Your future.

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What are you doing here?

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I was going to ask you the same thing.

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Oh, look at you.

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I can't believe it!

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They found the body of a coroner. At the reservoir in Upper Neuadd.

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Someone's been working out!

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That's where we used to...

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Bury our corpses, yeah. Like you said at the time,

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lots of off-road parking, peaceful spot.

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That coroner filed a report,

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saying human flesh was found in the stomach of the Box Tunnel killer.

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You told her to. Why?

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Christ, is this what we're talking about?

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55 years, Hal.

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Mark, two glasses and a decanter.

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Let me introduce you to the guys.

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Guys, this is Hal. He...

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Well, he made me.

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This guy was a monster, take it from me.

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We used to get up to some stuff. Tell them, Hal, what we used to do.

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-Long time ago.

-Seems like yesterday to me.

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DRINK IS POURED

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Ah, brilliant.

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God, it is good to see you.

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To us. To you.

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What's the matter? Take it.

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Hal?

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I need to...

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I'll come back.

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You're going?

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Again? You're kidding me?

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I just need...

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I'll be back, I promise.

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And we'll talk.

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EVE GURGLES

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-Are you sure Annie didn't say anything?

-No, I told you.

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Why would she just leave like that?

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Where are you taking Alex tonight?

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I've heard Holiday On Ice is in town. You should take her there.

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Me and Eve were talking about it earlier, weren't we?

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It looks brilliant. And she'd get in for free.

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Eve, not Alex.

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We're meeting at a bar. Then I expect we'll have supper.

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The chef at the Parc Hotel has a Michelin star.

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I read a review in the Observer.

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Oh, I know the place you mean.

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I was looking in the window the other day

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and the manager come out and shooed me away.

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Right, I guess I'll have that ravioli then.

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Sorry, are you suggesting I invite you along too?

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-No. Shut up. That'd be mad.

-Three people can't have dinner together. That's barbaric!

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You can't ring up Alex this late and canc...

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I have no intention of...

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HE BREATHES DEEPLY

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-Was there anything else?

-Yeah, I need you to take Eve for a bit.

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-No. Eve and I don't get along.

-Don't be soft.

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She thinks you're brilliant. Look, she's laughing.

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EVE CRIES

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What happens if Annie never comes back?

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What if we have to look after Eve forever,

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and if I want to get married? Who'll take me on with a kid in tow?

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-Yes, of course. Otherwise you're quite the catch(!)

-What?

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Nothing.

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An hour.

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Be good.

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She was your kill.

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Yeah, I didn't realise we'd decided that.

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Lucky Fergus was there to finish the job.

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That keeps happening.

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I think "keeps" is a bit...

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You like the blood, though.

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Have you got any?

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I mean...yeah.

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You're becoming the drunk who never buys a round.

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All we require...is everything.

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KNOCK AT DOOR

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Tom. Thank God you're here.

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Mr Cutler, how are you doing?

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Now, as I said on the phone, the Old Ones arrive tomorrow.

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But it's OK, cos I've got a plan.

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Once they've disembarked, they'll gather in a building in the city.

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This is the last time they'll all be in the same place together

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before they fan out and start tearing the world apart.

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But here's the thing, tomorrow is a full moon.

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So what I was thinking was, I get you in there, you transform and...

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how can I put this?

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Tear them to shreds.

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Hey, you have a skill set that sets you apart.

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I'm sorry. I can't.

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What?

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"All me life, I've felt like a weapon.

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"Something blunt and simple.

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"But I want to be human now.

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"To argue our case like a human.

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"I want to be clever and subtle

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"and to use proper words and be tactical."

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And what could be more noble? But I think you...

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You know what I saw, the first time we met? A hero.

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-A history maker.

-There's more.

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"I was brought up to believe all vampires are evil,

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"vampires can't change. But then I meet vampires who are nice.

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"For example, there's you, for instance. Point."

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Oh!

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"So now I don't know what to think."

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Yeah... No, I totally...

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But the Old Ones are different, Tom.

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They've spent too long killing and feeding to be reformed.

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It does something to their mind.

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"So at the end of the day, it's best if we didn't see each other again.

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"Thank you. Then leave."

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There are people who need to see me do this!

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You know what?

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You're right.

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In fact, to show you that there's no hard feelings, Tom,

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let me buy you dinner.

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-Dinner?

-I know this little place, it's small...

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Yeah, go on, then.

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Good.

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So this is the future? Really?

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For you, yeah.

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Ooh, do people have jet packs?

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No. No, mostly everyone's dead.

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Oh.

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Where are we?

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Funnily enough, YOU brought ME here.

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I was a baby when humanity fell.

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You're just days away, you know.

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The Old Ones arrive soon. That's when it starts.

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At first no-one believed it.

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They'd heard rumours, but there were no photos, no footage.

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Then vampires killed the Prime Minister on national television.

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And, um, what did we do?

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You wanted to get me somewhere safe, but the airports were under siege.

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So...you brought me here.

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You, me and Tom.

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But everyone else had the same idea.

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There must have been 50,000 people here,

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cramming onto ferries, yachts, container ships, tug boats.

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A biblical exodus.

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You told me the ships were groaning with the weight of them.

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And then the screams started.

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SCREAMING

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Vampires started killing people from the back of the crowd.

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There was this huge surge as everyone pushed forward, trying to get away.

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But...there was nowhere for them to go. They just...

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You told me it was like

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the water was boiling.

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So many people.

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Someone must have fought back.

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Of course.

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Whole countries stayed under human control for a while.

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But they'd get so overwhelmed by refugees,

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they'd have to start closing their borders

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and negotiating with the vampires.

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And then, eventually they fell too.

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Um...

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I'm not saying that I believe that you are, um...

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you know,

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who you say you are...

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But...

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Aren't you the Saviour?

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-I am.

-Then why is this happening? Why didn't you stop it?

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Because of you.

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Me?

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How?

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We're getting to that.

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Come on.

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MUSIC: "Who Needs The Sunshine?" by The Heavy

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(WHISPERS) You can do this.

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You can do this.

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You can do this.

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# I make a good man Like a bad son

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# Like a daddy that you call number one

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# I see this big heart

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# Like a big steak

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# Making your love make me feel the lick

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# So when the clouds come... #

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Funny thing is, I've been thinking about you recently.

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Maybe that's why I buried the coroner there.

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As a message for me?

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No, nothing like that.

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I really did think you were proper dead.

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No, more of an homage. Because of what I'm doing, I guess.

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Which is?

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You're very curious. That's new.

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Perhaps I can help.

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Why did you go?

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I deserve to know that much.

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I wanted something different.

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You couldn't talk to me about it?

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No, you were part of "it".

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You marooned me, in a different world.

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You...

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Talk about burning my bridges.

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Yeah.

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HE CHUCKLES

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"Yeah"?

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That's all?

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"Yeah"?!

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So, your new life, your "something different",

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you must have got bored, then.

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-Bored?

-This is the crucible.

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This is where the Old Ones are headed. But here you are!

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That's not the behaviour of somebody who wants to stay hidden.

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When do they arrive?

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Soon, I guess.

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No-one knows. You're a circumspect bunch.

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Look, you could go straight back to the top of the pile.

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That's cool, that's your rightful place.

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All I ask for in return is,

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when they write the history of what's about to happen,

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they give me a mention. And a statue.

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And...maybe Brazil.

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In return for what?

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It's traditional to present the Old Ones

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with a tribute on their arrival.

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So whatever this is, it's for them?

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-I would have told you this morning if you'd hung around.

-I'm here now.

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In body...

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yeah.

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What do you say?

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Old times?

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And then you'll tell me?

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And then I'll tell you.

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Did you think this was the end?

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Did you think deification comes without small print?

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What do I have to do?

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Nick? Who is it?

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No, not her. Please.

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Nick!

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It's no-one, just some people from work.

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Just go back to bed.

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Humanity and mercy are an old skin, don't you understand?

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What do they want? It's after midnight.

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To be truly free, to finally become a history maker,

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you must shed it.

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Hello?

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What's going on?

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Mrs Cutler.

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Rachel, isn't it?

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My name is Henry Yorke,

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I'm a colleague of your husband's.

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I can't apologise enough for the intrusion.

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It is a little late.

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Believe me, only a matter of the utmost importance would compel me

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to disturb you at such an ungodly hour.

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Well, if it's important...

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No, we are denying him the company of an angel.

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He shall be with you in a matter of moments.

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Fucking kill her.

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I can't.

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I'm sorry. Not my wife.

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Let's go.

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Thank you.

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I had such hopes for you.

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Ahh!

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You still don't believe me, do you? That I am who I say I am.

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It's a lot to take in.

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Why are you looking at me like that?

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I haven't seen you since I was 18. I've missed you.

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Why, what happened to me?

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Um...it doesn't matter. We should...

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What happened to me?

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Come on.

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Oh, Jesus!

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God, finally! I have had one of the most bullshit days.

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So my middle brother,

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Ryan, gets a tattoo.

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Sit down, will you?

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Anyway, he manages to find

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the only dyslexic tattooist in all of south Wales.

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I don't know how, but this guy manages to spell "Arsenal"

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with a "K"! I mean...

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I like your mouth.

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Oh, thanks, sugar!

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I'm sure that sounded less creepy in your head.

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I bought you a drink, by the way. But you were late, so I drank it.

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-I've been drinking already.

-Hmm.

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Creepy and a day drinker.

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Well, I'm just going to put this out there - we should get married.

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I like your neck, too.

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Are you aiming for enigmatic or...?

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Cos what I'm getting is "sociopath"!

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I bet your skin tastes of salt.

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OK, no, this is getting a little old.

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But, lucky for you,

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I'm yet to have sex under the coalition government, so...

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You want to have sex?

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We can have sex.

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Yeah, OK, I think I preferred it when you were Forrest Gump.

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I think I'm going to hurt you.

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Hal. Don't do this. Just...be nice

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I'm not nice.

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So pretend!

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Jesus! You know, I just...

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I just wanted one gentle thing to happen.

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You know, one thing that wasn't my brothers or my dad or...

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OK, seriously?

0:20:270:20:29

Fuck you.

0:20:290:20:31

Oh, my God, I am so stupid.

0:20:310:20:33

You know, it really doesn't matter how nice they look,

0:20:330:20:36

it's just the fingerprints that tell them apart.

0:20:360:20:39

HE SHIVERS

0:20:450:20:48

Tell me about Tom.

0:20:480:20:50

But you knew him.

0:20:510:20:53

Not very well.

0:20:530:20:54

Well, he's a child. He's lovely.

0:20:540:20:57

He's like a pet. A bloody big one,

0:20:570:21:00

like a St Bernard or a horse or something.

0:21:000:21:02

But, you know, he's physically incapable of lying or being cruel

0:21:020:21:06

so I do worry about him, almost as much as I worry about you...

0:21:060:21:09

you know who.

0:21:090:21:11

But he's, yeah, just a kid, really.

0:21:110:21:14

He shouldn't be killing vampires,

0:21:140:21:16

he should be getting disappointing A level results!

0:21:160:21:20

He died here.

0:21:200:21:21

A few years ago, the vampires rounded up

0:21:230:21:25

all the humans and werewolves they could find.

0:21:250:21:29

The humans were branded with an "H", and the werewolves with a "W",

0:21:290:21:32

and put into these camps.

0:21:320:21:35

There was an outbreak of cholera.

0:21:350:21:37

Hundreds died, and the vampires brought back the dog fights.

0:21:370:21:42

That's...

0:21:430:21:44

That's what happened to Tom?

0:21:450:21:47

He was a...a cold man.

0:21:470:21:49

Difficult to like, if I'm honest.

0:21:490:21:51

There were rumours he'd killed some humans by accident one time

0:21:510:21:55

and never got over it.

0:21:550:21:57

Some say he held back during his final dog fight,

0:21:570:21:59

even after he'd transformed.

0:21:590:22:01

He'd rather have died than kill again.

0:22:010:22:04

And where did I go?

0:22:060:22:08

After everything fell apart,

0:22:080:22:11

you, um...

0:22:110:22:12

you buried friend after friend,

0:22:120:22:15

you began to lose control of your tangibility

0:22:150:22:17

until eventually you just...

0:22:170:22:20

..drifted apart.

0:22:220:22:23

Like smoke on the breeze.

0:22:230:22:26

Well, glad I asked!

0:22:290:22:31

One more stop.

0:22:330:22:35

I've saved the best till last.

0:22:350:22:37

DOOR OPENS

0:22:440:22:46

Oh, it's you.

0:22:470:22:49

Have you heard anything off Annie?

0:22:490:22:51

I'm getting a bit worried.

0:22:510:22:53

What happens if she's completed her business and passed over?

0:22:530:22:56

How'd it go with Alex? You didn't kill her, did you?

0:22:560:22:59

Tell me tomorrow. I've got to go out for something to eat now.

0:22:590:23:02

Apparently this place has got seven Michelin stars

0:23:020:23:05

and you get bread in a basket, and at the end you get coffee.

0:23:050:23:08

So, how do I look?

0:23:080:23:10

I splashed out, didn't I? Went to the Cancer Research shop.

0:23:100:23:13

Right, I'll be back for 11.

0:23:130:23:15

Oh, I hope Annie comes back soon.

0:23:150:23:17

Oh, the Old Ones are coming tomorrow,

0:23:180:23:20

so in the morning, we need to draw up a plan of action.

0:23:200:23:23

Eve usually wakes up in an hour for a feed.

0:23:230:23:26

You're enjoying this, aren't you?

0:23:310:23:33

Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's Christmas(!)

0:23:330:23:35

Just tell me the thing.

0:23:350:23:37

No, look, there's stuff you need to see first.

0:23:370:23:39

Right, that's it. I'm not moving.

0:23:390:23:42

Mum!

0:23:440:23:45

Annie.

0:23:450:23:46

-Feels good to sit down.

-God, I'd forgotten how...

-How what?

0:23:460:23:49

-No, nothing. Never mind.

-No, no, no, how what?

0:23:490:23:52

-How irritating you can be!

-Oh, well, that's nice!

0:23:520:23:54

-You get this fucking...

-Don't swear.

0:23:540:23:56

Sorry. This fixation, you can be so... oh!

0:23:560:23:59

You can be so difficult sometimes!

0:23:590:24:01

Oh, well, I'm sorry.

0:24:010:24:02

Maybe I should just, ah, wither and dissolve.

0:24:020:24:05

Oh, God, no, not this!

0:24:050:24:06

No, you go on. Go on without me. And don't worry about me.

0:24:060:24:09

-Because I would hate to be a burden to you.

-OK, look. I'm sorry.

0:24:090:24:13

You know, I try my very best.

0:24:130:24:15

And if trying your best is a crime, then yes, shoot me now.

0:24:150:24:18

I know, I know, I know.

0:24:180:24:21

That came out wrong, OK?

0:24:210:24:23

I'm sorry, Mum.

0:24:230:24:24

SHE SNIFFS

0:24:250:24:27

Have you been smoking?

0:24:290:24:30

Come on.

0:24:320:24:33

End of the line.

0:24:350:24:36

Manager thought you might be more comfortable with this.

0:24:440:24:47

Oh, no, you're all right, thanks.

0:24:490:24:51

No, they mean put it on.

0:24:510:24:52

Places like this, they like you to wear a tie.

0:24:520:24:56

It's my fault, I should have said.

0:24:560:24:58

Oh, right. Sorry.

0:24:580:25:01

-You know how to tie a tie?

-Never worn one.

0:25:020:25:05

Me dad said vampires could use them to choke or garrotte us in a fight.

0:25:050:25:09

Well, let's take that risk. Come here.

0:25:090:25:12

There you go. Ignore them.

0:25:250:25:28

Who?

0:25:280:25:30

The other customers. They're staring. It's fine.

0:25:300:25:33

Are they?

0:25:330:25:34

So, Shiraz or Merlot?

0:25:360:25:39

Um, that's a toughie...

0:25:410:25:43

I'm sorry I can't help you out with the Old Ones.

0:25:470:25:50

I just think we should have another go at trying to reason with them.

0:25:500:25:54

Hey, Tom, it's fine. Really.

0:25:540:25:56

Do I detect Allison's influence?

0:25:560:25:58

You're such a sweet couple. People that different don't usually last.

0:26:000:26:04

But I've a good feeling about you two.

0:26:040:26:06

She's gone back to her family, as it goes.

0:26:060:26:08

She wanted to stay, but I wouldn't let her.

0:26:080:26:11

This life ain't for her.

0:26:110:26:13

But I've got a plan.

0:26:150:26:16

I'm going to sort meself out, get all polite and clever and that.

0:26:160:26:19

And go and see her.

0:26:190:26:20

Just turn up, like.

0:26:200:26:22

THEY BOTH LAUGH

0:26:220:26:23

That's brilliant. She's going to stick around, is she?

0:26:230:26:27

-She won't hook up with anyone else?

-Allison's not like that.

0:26:270:26:30

Hmm?

0:26:300:26:32

Nah, of course not.

0:26:320:26:33

No, stability, prospects, culture,

0:26:330:26:36

she's not the kind of girl to worry about things like that.

0:26:360:26:39

And her parents will adore you, I just know it.

0:26:390:26:42

Her parents? Do you think so?

0:26:440:26:46

Are you serious?

0:26:460:26:47

Imagine your daughter brought you home.

0:26:470:26:50

What's not to love?

0:26:500:26:51

EVE CRIES

0:27:060:27:08

I wanted to show you what happened to Hal.

0:27:120:27:16

Don't tell me,

0:27:160:27:17

they chopped him into little pieces

0:27:170:27:20

and sprinkled him over the HMS Belfast.

0:27:200:27:22

Turn around.

0:27:240:27:26

EVE GURGLES

0:27:330:27:35

That's Hal?

0:27:410:27:42

-(CHANTING)

-Lord Hal, Lord Hal, Lord Hal.

0:27:420:27:45

One of their most ruthless commanders.

0:27:450:27:48

Those camps I showed you,

0:27:480:27:50

they were his idea.

0:27:500:27:52

He's violent, sadistic and, well,

0:27:530:27:56

quite literally their poster boy.

0:27:560:27:58

EVE CRIES

0:28:000:28:02

No.

0:28:050:28:06

No, I... I won't believe it. He's...

0:28:060:28:09

He's not evil. Not any more.

0:28:090:28:12

He lives with us. You know him. He's changed your nappies.

0:28:120:28:15

That's the only Hal I know.

0:28:150:28:17

You see, my history and yours

0:28:170:28:19

started to separate the moment I appeared to him and Leo and Pearl.

0:28:190:28:23

That was you? Why?

0:28:250:28:27

I've been trying to rewrite history.

0:28:270:28:29

I thought getting Hal into the house would do that.

0:28:290:28:32

Well...and you have. So maybe that's it now.

0:28:320:28:35

-That's it, you've done enough!

-Well, how am I?

0:28:350:28:37

I mean, the baby. How is the baby?

0:28:370:28:40

She's fine.

0:28:400:28:41

There's your answer, then.

0:28:410:28:43

Look, we're done now.

0:28:440:28:46

I'm taking you home.

0:28:460:28:47

Then I'll tell you what you need to do.

0:28:470:28:49

Annie?

0:29:010:29:03

Hal?

0:29:040:29:06

EVE GURGLES

0:29:120:29:14

Hello there. Eh?

0:29:140:29:16

Yeah. You all right? You all right?!

0:29:190:29:21

TOM MAKES BABY NOISES

0:29:210:29:23

Go in there. Would the nice little baby sleep?

0:29:230:29:26

Ay-up, you been on the Kia-Ora?

0:29:260:29:29

You're drunk.

0:29:290:29:31

And you're stupid.

0:29:310:29:33

But in the morning, I shall be sober...

0:29:330:29:36

.something, something, something.

0:29:370:29:39

What are you doing? Get off!

0:29:390:29:41

Outside.

0:29:410:29:43

Oh, my God, fisticuffs?

0:29:430:29:44

Not in front of Eve.

0:29:440:29:46

You've been drinking blood.

0:29:460:29:48

Relax. No-one died.

0:29:480:29:49

He was right, the Old Ones really are the worst.

0:29:490:29:52

-Who was right?

-When Annie comes back, we'll tell her what you did.

0:29:520:29:55

Annie's not coming back!

0:29:550:29:57

What? Of course she is. Shut up about that.

0:29:570:30:00

Annie!

0:30:000:30:02

Annie.

0:30:020:30:04

Come out, come out, wherever you are!

0:30:040:30:06

She wouldn't just leave me, leave Eve like that.

0:30:060:30:09

You're a child, you know that?

0:30:110:30:13

Watching you negotiate grown-up emotions is like...

0:30:130:30:17

watching a gorilla perform keyhole surgery.

0:30:170:30:21

Maybe I am.

0:30:210:30:24

Maybe I'd rather be that than a monster.

0:30:240:30:26

HAL CHUCKLES

0:30:260:30:27

This is what I'm saying!

0:30:270:30:29

This is why Annie's gone!

0:30:290:30:31

Same with Allison.

0:30:310:30:33

They worked it out! You idiot.

0:30:330:30:36

We can raid the dressing-up box and pretend to be human,

0:30:360:30:40

but, ultimately, what's the point?

0:30:400:30:43

Sooner or later, we all go back to being the monsters we truly are.

0:30:430:30:48

RINGING TONE

0:30:580:31:00

Mr Cutler?

0:31:030:31:04

Nick?

0:31:040:31:06

It's Tom.

0:31:060:31:07

I'm in.

0:31:080:31:09

FEVERED BREATHING

0:31:240:31:26

Cutler.

0:32:160:32:17

What's going on?

0:32:380:32:40

So suspicious!

0:32:400:32:41

We're just pleased to see you.

0:32:420:32:44

Actually, it's more than that. We wanted to reassure you.

0:32:490:32:52

-What about?

-The other night.

0:32:520:32:54

Your wife.

0:32:540:32:55

Perhaps killing just isn't your strong suit. No matter.

0:32:550:32:59

We all have different roles to play.

0:33:010:33:03

You provide us with legal advice.

0:33:050:33:08

Louis here is the muscle.

0:33:080:33:10

And Dennis, well...

0:33:100:33:13

Actually, Dennis, what do you do, apart from eat biscuits?

0:33:130:33:17

Anyway.

0:33:220:33:24

Let's put all of that behind us. Hm?

0:33:280:33:30

Take it.

0:33:330:33:34

Yesterday was your first blood for how long?

0:33:350:33:39

I mean, you were pretty out of it.

0:33:390:33:41

55 years.

0:33:420:33:43

-This glass is filthy. Let me get one of the guys...

-It's fine!

0:33:450:33:48

Really.

0:33:480:33:50

It's fine.

0:33:500:33:51

OK.

0:33:510:33:53

55 years! Man, that is a long time to be doing a Fossey.

0:33:540:33:58

Doing a what?

0:33:580:34:00

Hanging out with the primates, like Dian Fossey.

0:34:000:34:04

Gorillas In The Mist?

0:34:040:34:06

Ah, forget it.

0:34:060:34:07

Oh, please, again?

0:34:130:34:15

Come on, Hal, you want this.

0:34:150:34:17

HAL LAUGHS

0:34:510:34:53

What?

0:34:530:34:54

THEY ALL LAUGH

0:34:540:34:57

What?!

0:34:570:34:58

What's so funny?

0:34:590:35:02

Are you enjoying that?

0:35:050:35:07

I suppose I'd better tell you what I've been doing, then.

0:35:080:35:11

HE CHUCKLES

0:35:120:35:13

I'm nervous about telling you.

0:35:150:35:18

No, OK, come on.

0:35:190:35:20

The Old Ones, they think humanity

0:35:210:35:23

will just hand them the keys to the planet.

0:35:230:35:26

They haven't seen old grandmothers in Afghanistan

0:35:260:35:29

try to scratch the eyes out of Marines. Now, blunt is no good.

0:35:290:35:33

To overthrow an incentivised and resourceful race,

0:35:330:35:37

we've...we've got to be sneaky.

0:35:370:35:39

Softly, softly, massacre monkey.

0:35:390:35:41

OK, how do you make a rat look less threatening?

0:35:410:35:45

You put it next to a shark.

0:35:450:35:48

So, how do you make humans love vampires?

0:35:480:35:51

Show them something worse?

0:35:510:35:53

Werewolves.

0:35:580:36:00

You're going to reveal werewolves?

0:36:020:36:04

The coroner's report, the YouTube footage,

0:36:040:36:07

that was just preparing the ground.

0:36:070:36:09

Tonight is the last full moon before the Old Ones arrive

0:36:090:36:11

and in a few hours, this place will be packed full with people,

0:36:110:36:15

mainly young people, all with their camera phones and Twitter,

0:36:150:36:19

and all the technology we need to spread this event around the globe.

0:36:190:36:23

What event?

0:36:240:36:26

We get a werewolf - now, I've got him already -

0:36:270:36:30

and we drop him in here just before the full moon.

0:36:300:36:33

We lock a few doors - not all, we want some of the witnesses to escape

0:36:330:36:37

and we let him transform in front of all those people and their phones.

0:36:370:36:43

It'll be a massacre - utter panic and chaos.

0:36:430:36:46

You know, there's even a name for this?

0:36:480:36:50

Terrorists call it "a spectacular".

0:36:500:36:54

And then what happens?

0:36:560:36:58

The reveal.

0:36:580:37:00

Who will save us from the big bad wolf?

0:37:000:37:03

Ba-da-ba-bah!

0:37:030:37:05

It's us!

0:37:060:37:08

We have created a nightmare and now we provide the antidote.

0:37:080:37:12

Now this is where the others got it wrong.

0:37:120:37:14

You try and take the world by force

0:37:140:37:17

and humanity will fight you on every street corner.

0:37:170:37:19

But frighten them?

0:37:190:37:22

They'll line up, loosen their collars

0:37:220:37:24

and they'll bare their veins.

0:37:240:37:27

I'm not just doing this for the Old Ones.

0:37:280:37:32

I'm doing it for you.

0:37:320:37:33

I wanted to make you proud,

0:37:330:37:36

be a history maker.

0:37:360:37:38

This is...

0:37:430:37:44

This is insane.

0:37:460:37:47

Hmm.

0:37:470:37:49

I knew you'd be like this.

0:37:490:37:52

Soon as you came back, I could... smell that mercy on you,

0:37:520:37:56

like...like cigarette smoke.

0:37:560:37:58

Look, Hal, it happens!

0:37:580:38:01

Christ, it happened to me.

0:38:010:38:03

But, luckily...

0:38:030:38:05

you were there to help me through it.

0:38:060:38:08

And now I'm going to return the favour.

0:38:080:38:11

We weren't sure if you'd work it out when you tasted the blood.

0:38:450:38:48

I don't know if it works like that, between husbands and wives.

0:38:480:38:52

Apparently not.

0:38:520:38:54

What's going on?

0:38:580:38:59

No, no!

0:39:070:39:09

Ssh, ssh, ssh, ssh, ssh!

0:39:090:39:11

Don't you understand what I've done?

0:39:130:39:16

I've set you free.

0:39:160:39:18

But I don't want you to thank me.

0:39:190:39:21

I knew something was wrong when you freaked out over the blood.

0:39:220:39:26

So I had you followed, and there you were, breaking bread with a human!

0:39:260:39:30

How did her blood taste?

0:39:300:39:32

I know what it's like.

0:39:340:39:35

They get under your skin.

0:39:350:39:38

But I don't want you to thank me.

0:39:380:39:39

No, we're even now

0:39:390:39:41

and we can watch dawn break over the new world together.

0:39:410:39:44

Who's the werewolf?

0:39:450:39:46

Does it matter?

0:39:460:39:48

-Who is he?!

-His name's Tom. Why?

0:39:480:39:51

Of course.

0:39:520:39:54

This is why you coming back is so perfect.

0:39:540:39:57

Now this is the end of the journey that you started me on!

0:39:570:40:00

Don't do this.

0:40:000:40:01

Please.

0:40:030:40:04

Sorry, what?

0:40:040:40:06

I'll do anything.

0:40:060:40:07

Just stop this.

0:40:090:40:11

What are you doing?

0:40:110:40:12

Oh, God, are you begging?!

0:40:140:40:17

Now you stop! Seriously, it's horrid!

0:40:170:40:20

Please. Cutler.

0:40:200:40:22

Nick.

0:40:230:40:25

HE LAUGHS

0:40:250:40:27

Now he's calling me Nick!

0:40:270:40:30

You can't do this! You're...

0:40:300:40:33

You're Hal Yorke!

0:40:330:40:35

-I'm going to heave.

-Remember what you were.

0:40:360:40:39

What I was? No, you stole that from me!

0:40:450:40:48

You dragged me into this world, you killed my wife,

0:40:480:40:52

you turned me into a murderer, an addict.

0:40:520:40:54

You made me abandon my whole species!

0:40:540:40:57

I know.

0:40:570:40:58

-And there aren't words to tell you how sorry I am...

-No!

0:41:000:41:03

No, you do not do that and then apologise.

0:41:030:41:06

-No, sir!

-I can't let this happen, Cutler.

0:41:060:41:10

I will kill you if I have to.

0:41:100:41:12

But I will not let you take their world.

0:41:120:41:15

We don't deserve it.

0:41:160:41:18

Fair enough.

0:41:310:41:32

But you'll have to get out of here first.

0:41:380:41:41

DOOR LOCKS

0:41:410:41:43

Bugger.

0:41:430:41:44

SLOW HAND-CLAPPING

0:41:440:41:47

Well done.

0:41:470:41:49

No, seriously, that was...brilliant.

0:41:490:41:52

Just when I thought this holiday could not possibly get any worse.

0:41:530:41:57

OK. What is it that you want me to do?

0:42:030:42:06

Kill me.

0:42:070:42:08

All my life, I've been carried around like a mascot,

0:42:110:42:15

while the world around me crumbled and burned.

0:42:150:42:18

I didn't understand. Wasn't I supposed to stop this happening?

0:42:180:42:21

Then I got the final piece of the scripture,

0:42:210:42:24

and there it was.

0:42:240:42:26

In order to fulfil her destiny,

0:42:270:42:29

the War Child must die.

0:42:290:42:31

It was too late for me to change my world,

0:42:340:42:38

but maybe I could stop it ever happening.

0:42:380:42:40

So you sent Hal?

0:42:400:42:42

Hal is a monster in my world.

0:42:420:42:44

I assumed he'd kill me as soon as he worked out who I was.

0:42:440:42:48

When that didn't work, I sent Kirby.

0:42:480:42:50

-You put that animal in my home?

-You've seen what was at stake!

0:42:500:42:54

But I can't kill you.

0:42:570:42:59

I don't have a burnt arm. All that stuff about the Nemesis...

0:42:590:43:03

I'm the killer.

0:43:090:43:11

I orchestrated this. You're just the knife.

0:43:110:43:14

-The burn.

-Saviour and Nemesis.

0:43:140:43:17

Talk about multi-tasking...

0:43:180:43:19

You were in one of those camps?

0:43:210:43:23

They didn't know who I was. I always had false papers.

0:43:230:43:26

I was just rounded up with the others.

0:43:260:43:29

Eve, I am so sorry.

0:43:290:43:30

Look, I could send a thousand threats,

0:43:300:43:33

but Kirby made me realise your love for me would always defeat them.

0:43:330:43:37

So I had to come to you direct,

0:43:370:43:39

show you the world you'd created.

0:43:390:43:42

Alex, focus on my voice. Alex, Alex, you're in shock.

0:43:440:43:47

Er, no, you idiot. I was in shock,

0:43:470:43:50

Yeah, but I've been hiding in here now for about what, um, ten hours.

0:43:500:43:54

So I've gone from shock, via denial and depression

0:43:540:43:58

and, rather surprisingly, hunger and randiness,

0:43:580:44:01

to a frothing rage.

0:44:010:44:04

I swear I will avenge your death.

0:44:040:44:06

Firstly, someone needs a Tic Tac.

0:44:060:44:09

And, secondly, did I just hear right?

0:44:090:44:12

Did he say that you drank my blood?

0:44:120:44:14

I didn't realise it was your blood.

0:44:140:44:16

Oh, is that meant to make me feel better?!

0:44:160:44:19

I knew this would happen! I should never have gone out with you.

0:44:190:44:22

You bullied me into that drink.

0:44:220:44:24

Which drink? In the bar, or when you drank my blood?

0:44:240:44:27

Nah, I...

0:44:270:44:28

Christ, I was jowly.

0:44:310:44:33

How will killing you save the world?

0:44:330:44:37

All I know is, everything else on the parchment came true.

0:44:370:44:40

But I was protected all my life, and humanity fell.

0:44:400:44:44

Well, then, why didn't you kill you?

0:44:440:44:46

Mmm? Why didn't you pass over, go through a door and...you know?

0:44:460:44:51

A ghost can't be in the same place as its living body. That would be weird.

0:44:510:44:55

Sorry. What was I thinking(?)

0:44:550:44:57

This'll take you home.

0:44:590:45:01

I'm going?!

0:45:010:45:02

Yeah, you've...

0:45:020:45:04

You've got stuff to do.

0:45:040:45:06

Was I a good mother?

0:45:080:45:10

I'm not fishing, or anything, I just want to make sure that you felt...

0:45:100:45:14

..loved.

0:45:160:45:18

It wasn't a world for children.

0:45:200:45:22

But, yeah...

0:45:230:45:25

you were.

0:45:250:45:27

The best.

0:45:280:45:29

You're very brave.

0:45:320:45:33

And I'm proud of that.

0:45:340:45:37

And I make a bloody good cup of tea.

0:45:370:45:39

That's my girl!

0:45:390:45:41

Yay.

0:45:410:45:43

We'd better not, um...

0:45:440:45:47

It'll make things harder for you.

0:45:470:45:49

Yeah.

0:45:490:45:51

Remember,

0:45:570:45:59

a moment will come when you have to choose between letting me live...

0:45:590:46:03

and letting me die.

0:46:030:46:05

If you want to stop this happening, you have to let me die.

0:46:060:46:10

Goodbye, Eve.

0:46:160:46:17

Goodbye...

0:46:170:46:19

...Mum.

0:46:250:46:26

I'm sure Annie or Hal will be back any minute, but I've got to go.

0:46:280:46:31

I can't be near you tonight.

0:46:310:46:33

CAR HORN BLARES

0:46:330:46:34

You've been changed, bathed and fed.

0:46:340:46:36

We've watched Top Gear for two hours so you've got to be tired by now.

0:46:360:46:40

HE MAKES BABY NOISES

0:46:400:46:43

Where the bloody hell have you been?

0:46:430:46:45

Is she OK?

0:46:450:46:46

She's been going mad, she misses you. We all miss you!

0:46:460:46:49

And I need to talk to you about Hal. I think he's back on the blood.

0:46:490:46:53

-What?

-I've got to go, full moon and stuff.

0:46:530:46:56

-Just stay here, yeah?

-Tom...

0:46:560:46:58

The Old Ones are going to be here any day now,

0:46:580:47:01

if they're not already.

0:47:010:47:03

To stop them, we might have to...

0:47:030:47:05

..do terrible things.

0:47:080:47:10

What choice do we have?

0:47:100:47:11

None.

0:47:110:47:13

It's not fair, is it?

0:47:140:47:15

No.

0:47:150:47:17

DOORBELL RINGS

0:47:170:47:19

EVE GURGLES

0:47:190:47:20

Hey, champ! How are you feeling?

0:47:270:47:29

What's all this? Just in case I change my mind?

0:47:290:47:32

-No, I just wanted to make sure you get there safely.

-EVE CRIES

0:47:320:47:35

Have you got a baby in there?

0:47:350:47:37

Yeah. George and Nina's.

0:47:370:47:39

-The War Child?

-Don't tell me you believe all that and all?

0:47:410:47:44

I thought Regus killed her?

0:47:440:47:46

No, he slipped her to Annie during the kerfuffle.

0:47:460:47:49

Are you all right?

0:47:520:47:53

No. We do this. We stick with this.

0:47:550:47:58

Let's go save the world!

0:47:590:48:01

-You can rent-a-ghost outside and open the door.

-I can what?!

0:48:160:48:19

It's what Annie called it. I've no idea why.

0:48:190:48:22

It means teleporting. You can teleport!

0:48:220:48:24

I was about to say, "Wow, what have you been drinking?"

0:48:240:48:27

But I guess I know the answer to that one.

0:48:270:48:29

-We have to stop Cutler! You don't know what he's going to do!

-I do, actually.

0:48:290:48:33

Before he killed me, he monologued the whole thing.

0:48:330:48:36

I didn't think people actually did that.

0:48:360:48:38

Can we open the door, please?!

0:48:380:48:40

Right.

0:48:400:48:41

Yeah.

0:48:410:48:43

Well?!

0:48:430:48:44

I assume you just close your eyes and picture yourself somewhere else.

0:48:440:48:48

Trust me, I've been doing that since you arrived.

0:48:480:48:52

Now, the Old Ones have arrived. They're on their way.

0:48:520:48:55

I've got to do the meet and greet,

0:48:550:48:57

then, when we're at a full moon, I'll make myself scarce,

0:48:570:49:00

one of my guys will open the door for you and skedaddle,

0:49:000:49:03

leaving you...well, to do your thing.

0:49:030:49:06

HE EXHALES

0:49:070:49:09

It'll be fine, honest!

0:49:150:49:17

Look, no-one will forget what you do tonight.

0:49:190:49:22

You're going to be famous, Tom. A history maker.

0:49:230:49:27

You're going to make your dad so proud.

0:49:330:49:36

And, take it from me, there should be no better feeling than that.

0:49:360:49:41

Whoa! Yes!

0:49:490:49:51

How far was that?

0:49:510:49:53

Like two feet? Woo-hoo!

0:49:530:49:55

Yes!

0:49:550:49:56

In the same room.

0:49:560:49:58

-In the wrong direction.

-Well, you try Ghostbusting.

0:49:580:50:00

Rent-a-ghosting! God, the moment we get out of here,

0:50:000:50:03

-we are never seeing each other again.

-Oh, really?

0:50:030:50:06

I thought this was the beginning of a relationship(!)

0:50:060:50:09

HE SCOFFS

0:50:090:50:10

-Cutler!

-"So, how did you two meet?" "Well, bit of a funny story.

0:50:100:50:15

"His friend killed me and he drank my blood." Ha!

0:50:150:50:19

Ha(!) Get outside and open this door.

0:50:190:50:22

You know, for someone who works in the service industry,

0:50:240:50:27

you have terrible people skills.

0:50:270:50:29

DANCE MUSIC THROBS

0:50:290:50:31

HE SNIFFS

0:51:000:51:02

Those aren't vampires.

0:51:060:51:08

Mr Cutler!

0:51:230:51:25

There's been a mistake!

0:51:250:51:27

Those people aren't vampires!

0:51:270:51:29

You need to get them out of here!

0:51:290:51:31

Argh!

0:51:310:51:33

MUSIC POUNDS

0:51:330:51:35

Ah, yes!

0:51:430:51:46

In your own time(!)

0:51:460:51:47

All right, all right. Jesus!

0:51:470:51:49

Right. Great.

0:51:540:51:56

Thank you.

0:51:570:51:59

Er, wait! What the hell do I do now?

0:52:000:52:03

What?

0:52:030:52:04

I don't know.

0:52:040:52:06

Anyway, must dash. Friend about to kill lots of people.

0:52:060:52:09

I'm really dead, aren't I? This is all actually happening.

0:52:090:52:14

I... I don't understand.

0:52:140:52:17

I came here for a holiday and now I'm...now I'm dead.

0:52:170:52:21

And now my brothers and my dad are going to have to grieve for me.

0:52:210:52:25

Well, there's... We'll have to get my body to them somehow.

0:52:250:52:29

There'll be stuff to organise

0:52:290:52:30

and Ryan has a tattoo with a bloody typo on it...

0:52:300:52:35

And I'm...

0:52:370:52:39

I'm really dead.

0:52:410:52:43

Come with me.

0:52:450:52:46

We'll sort out...

0:52:460:52:47

..this, then we'll sort out you.

0:52:480:52:50

STRANGLED GROWLING

0:52:570:52:58

MUSIC BLARES

0:52:590:53:01

Argh!

0:53:010:53:03

GROWLING

0:53:080:53:11

Get out. Everybody!

0:53:180:53:20

Get out!

0:53:200:53:21

MUSIC BLARES

0:53:210:53:23

SNARLING

0:53:230:53:24

Get out!

0:53:320:53:34

Listen to me. You have to get out of here. It's an emergency!

0:53:500:53:54

Please, move! Quickly, towards...

0:53:540:53:56

HOWLING

0:53:560:53:59

Do it, now!

0:54:020:54:03

SNARLING

0:54:090:54:12

GROWLING

0:54:230:54:25

RUN!

0:54:370:54:39

SNARLING

0:54:390:54:40

SCREAMING

0:54:400:54:42

SCREAMING

0:54:530:54:54

You're welcome(!) You're welcome.

0:55:080:55:11

SNARLING

0:55:220:55:24

# Que sera, sera

0:55:380:55:40

# Whatever will be, will be

0:55:410:55:44

# The future's not ours to see

0:55:460:55:50

# Que sera, sera. #

0:55:510:55:53

Well, then...

0:56:170:56:19

Who's hungry?

0:56:220:56:24

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0:57:130:57:15

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