Browse content similar to Episode 6. Check below for episodes and series from the same categories and more!
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This programme contains some strong language and scenes of a sexual nature. | 0:00:02 | 0:00:09 | |
-Do you fancy me? -Of course. -Wow! -I wish they'd fuck each other and get it over with. | 0:00:09 | 0:00:13 | |
Who puts a bare-wire loop trigger inside the plastic? | 0:00:13 | 0:00:19 | |
-Our bomber got someone. -Shit! -Low metal, same orange wire. | 0:00:19 | 0:00:23 | |
Oh, you have been busy, haven't you? | 0:00:23 | 0:00:25 | |
Yeah, it looks like the same bomb-maker again. | 0:00:35 | 0:00:39 | |
I hate it when he leaves me presents. I never get him anything. | 0:00:39 | 0:00:42 | |
He doesn't seem to mind, boss. | 0:00:42 | 0:00:43 | |
I reckon he just likes the attention. | 0:00:43 | 0:00:45 | |
I wish we could give him a bit more attention. | 0:00:45 | 0:00:48 | |
Personal attention. To the face. | 0:00:48 | 0:00:51 | |
And/or bollocks. | 0:00:51 | 0:00:53 | |
-Whoa, whoa, hang about. -What the...?! | 0:00:53 | 0:00:55 | |
They've got Graham! | 0:01:00 | 0:01:02 | |
-Shit! -The road's not clear beyond the device. | 0:01:02 | 0:01:04 | |
-I got him, boss! -Hold! | 0:01:07 | 0:01:08 | |
No clear threat to life. Warning shot, boss? | 0:01:08 | 0:01:10 | |
A warning of what? We can't actually shoot them unless they shoot first. | 0:01:10 | 0:01:15 | |
-Those are the rules, boss. -Yeah! Silly, isn't it? | 0:01:16 | 0:01:19 | |
-We're fighting this whole stupid war on their terms. -Yeah. | 0:01:20 | 0:01:25 | |
If I was an Apache, I'd hate to come up against that moped. | 0:01:25 | 0:01:28 | |
-Technically, this isn't a war, boss. -No? Soldiers. Bombs. | 0:01:28 | 0:01:33 | |
It does feel quite warry. | 0:01:33 | 0:01:36 | |
Still, we can't return fire until we feel clearly endangered... | 0:01:36 | 0:01:39 | |
I know, Simon. | 0:01:39 | 0:01:40 | |
GUNFIRE Shit! I mean, hooray! Open fire! | 0:01:40 | 0:01:44 | |
-Diamond 21, this is Bluestone 42. Contact. -Oh, bugger. -Shots fired. | 0:01:46 | 0:01:51 | |
Sitrep to follow. Wait out. | 0:01:51 | 0:01:53 | |
Yep, don't use the big gun, Simon. | 0:01:58 | 0:02:00 | |
After all, it's not a war. | 0:02:00 | 0:02:02 | |
Diamond 21, this is Bluestone 42. | 0:02:33 | 0:02:35 | |
Request immediate fire support. Over. | 0:02:35 | 0:02:37 | |
Shit! Simon, more incoming, second group of enemies from the west. | 0:02:37 | 0:02:41 | |
Rocket! | 0:02:41 | 0:02:42 | |
-Bird, get into cover. -Yup. | 0:02:42 | 0:02:44 | |
RADIO: Enemies close to you, heading west. | 0:02:44 | 0:02:46 | |
Roger that. Over. Mortar support figures too, boss. | 0:02:46 | 0:02:49 | |
Mortar Team Frost, this is Bluestone 42. Request HE 100m west of spot 25. | 0:02:49 | 0:02:54 | |
Boss! Boss, get here now! | 0:02:57 | 0:02:59 | |
-IED, right there! -Holy shit! | 0:03:04 | 0:03:07 | |
You useless bastards need to practise your fives and twenties! | 0:03:07 | 0:03:11 | |
Simon, I want everyone as far away from this as possible. | 0:03:11 | 0:03:13 | |
Bird, get into cover! | 0:03:13 | 0:03:15 | |
I'm going to go in manual. | 0:03:24 | 0:03:26 | |
Roger that, boss. | 0:03:29 | 0:03:30 | |
Everyone, get down! | 0:03:30 | 0:03:31 | |
I've got control of him. | 0:03:44 | 0:03:46 | |
Incoming! | 0:03:46 | 0:03:47 | |
INCOMING SHELLS | 0:03:47 | 0:03:50 | |
-Thanks, boss. -No problem. -Here's your weapon back, boss. | 0:03:58 | 0:04:03 | |
-You OK? -Yeah. No thanks to you. | 0:04:03 | 0:04:05 | |
I have to be my own force protection now, do I? Your SA-80 jammed again! | 0:04:05 | 0:04:09 | |
-It's the second time this week. -I clean it every day. Sorry, boss. | 0:04:09 | 0:04:13 | |
Well, sorry isn't going to help | 0:04:13 | 0:04:15 | |
when I get a sucking chest wound... to the head! Is it? | 0:04:15 | 0:04:18 | |
Luckily there's no danger of that, as this isn't a fucking war! | 0:04:20 | 0:04:25 | |
Mac! Rocket! Rifles stripped and cleaned. | 0:04:33 | 0:04:35 | |
"Rifles stripped and cleaned." | 0:04:35 | 0:04:37 | |
It wasnae our weapons that didnae function. | 0:04:37 | 0:04:40 | |
Uh, panic over, everyone. Weapons Intelligence is here. | 0:04:40 | 0:04:44 | |
I've come about your special bomb-making friend. | 0:04:46 | 0:04:49 | |
You've got someone? Awesome. | 0:04:49 | 0:04:51 | |
-No, actually, we've had a bit of a set back. -Oh. | 0:04:51 | 0:04:53 | |
We thought we had someone from a partial print | 0:04:53 | 0:04:55 | |
but he was just being paid to stick the things in the ground. | 0:04:55 | 0:04:57 | |
-Ten-dollar Taliban. -Shit. | 0:04:57 | 0:04:59 | |
Then we saw a device with the orange wire here, and Bluestone 44 | 0:04:59 | 0:05:06 | |
found another one here, completely fucking our location profiling. | 0:05:06 | 0:05:10 | |
So we've had to widen our search to this area here. | 0:05:10 | 0:05:12 | |
-We're referring to it as Area A. A stands for Afghanistan. -Perfect. | 0:05:12 | 0:05:17 | |
So what you're basically saying is we've got nothing. | 0:05:17 | 0:05:19 | |
Oh, less than nothing - aren't we a Dragon Runner down on the deal? | 0:05:19 | 0:05:22 | |
You don't stop him? | 0:05:22 | 0:05:23 | |
Well, the boss did shout, "Stop that, you rotter!" | 0:05:23 | 0:05:25 | |
but for some reason they just ignored him. | 0:05:25 | 0:05:27 | |
So talk me through this morning. | 0:05:27 | 0:05:29 | |
Well, basically, the main device was designed to take ages, | 0:05:29 | 0:05:34 | |
making it more likely that someone would step on this little chap. | 0:05:34 | 0:05:37 | |
Hang about. | 0:05:37 | 0:05:38 | |
-That's from an old VW Beetle. -Really? -You what? | 0:05:40 | 0:05:43 | |
Safe to have. That is an ignition-switch assembly. | 0:05:43 | 0:05:46 | |
-Towerblock, did you used to nick cars? -My dad used to have a Beetle. | 0:05:46 | 0:05:50 | |
We used to tune it up together every Sunday. | 0:05:50 | 0:05:52 | |
After I'd nicked some cars. | 0:05:52 | 0:05:54 | |
Right, well, I know we've narrowed it down to Area A | 0:05:54 | 0:05:57 | |
but, as this is our only link to the bomber, | 0:05:57 | 0:05:59 | |
-looks like we're going to have to go with it. -Right, I'll get it to the lab. | 0:05:59 | 0:06:02 | |
Good work, Towerblock. | 0:06:02 | 0:06:04 | |
Ahh, we're going to have to speak to the village elders. | 0:06:04 | 0:06:07 | |
-See if they've seen a VW Beetle. -There's going to be a shura? | 0:06:07 | 0:06:10 | |
-Awesome! -Awesome? Aren't they just proper boring? | 0:06:10 | 0:06:13 | |
Yeah, but I get the day off. | 0:06:13 | 0:06:15 | |
Can't do Afghan diplomacy if you've got ovaries. Who knew? | 0:06:15 | 0:06:18 | |
Oooh, yes, better, guys, better. Yes! | 0:06:20 | 0:06:24 | |
Where's my firing-pin-retaining-pin? | 0:06:26 | 0:06:28 | |
It was here. | 0:06:28 | 0:06:30 | |
It was right here. | 0:06:31 | 0:06:33 | |
-Where is it, Mac? -Dunno. -Rocket? | 0:06:34 | 0:06:38 | |
-Is it lunch yet? -Where is it? | 0:06:38 | 0:06:40 | |
You realise sabotaging a weapon is a very serious offence? | 0:06:40 | 0:06:43 | |
-You must have dropped it on the floor. -Right, well, start looking. | 0:06:43 | 0:06:45 | |
-Fingertip search! -Aw, fuck off! -Do it yourself! -NOW! | 0:06:45 | 0:06:49 | |
-And whatever you do, do not tell Nick that I've lost it. -Shit! | 0:06:49 | 0:06:55 | |
Towerblock, can you help...look for my firing-pin-retaining-pin? Metal. | 0:06:55 | 0:07:00 | |
-About this big. -Slightly bigger than his penis. | 0:07:00 | 0:07:03 | |
You know what you could do with is some bit of kit that finds | 0:07:03 | 0:07:06 | |
little bits of metal. | 0:07:06 | 0:07:08 | |
Hmmm. Hang about. | 0:07:10 | 0:07:12 | |
-Nick! Are you OK? -Yeah, right as rain. | 0:07:16 | 0:07:19 | |
I heard it was a tough day at the office. | 0:07:19 | 0:07:21 | |
Yeah. If the office had been attacked by terrorists, | 0:07:21 | 0:07:23 | |
the photocopier was stuffed full of explosives and the tea lady pulled an AK on me. | 0:07:23 | 0:07:27 | |
Right. Look, I don't want you to feel you can't talk to me | 0:07:27 | 0:07:30 | |
like you always have. | 0:07:30 | 0:07:31 | |
I mean, just because we've, er, you know... | 0:07:31 | 0:07:35 | |
slept together, it doesn't mean that we can't chat. | 0:07:35 | 0:07:39 | |
Anyway, I hope you feel OK about all of that. Do you feel OK? You seem OK. | 0:07:39 | 0:07:44 | |
We'll just play it cool and act like it never happened. Yeah? Nick? | 0:07:44 | 0:07:49 | |
Er, yeah. Great, yeah. Cool. | 0:07:49 | 0:07:53 | |
-OK. Good. -Great. -So...see you around. -Yeah. | 0:07:53 | 0:07:58 | |
Bye. | 0:08:00 | 0:08:01 | |
METAL DETECTOR BEEPS | 0:08:05 | 0:08:07 | |
OK, guys, joke's over. Give it back. | 0:08:11 | 0:08:14 | |
-This lack of trust is actually quite hurtful. -Aye. We didn't nick it. | 0:08:14 | 0:08:18 | |
-Did we? -Here, Mac. Vallon this! See if I've got lead in my pencil. | 0:08:20 | 0:08:25 | |
Fuck's sake! Sabotaging a weapon is an AGAI offence. | 0:08:25 | 0:08:29 | |
When I prove that you have stolen it, | 0:08:29 | 0:08:31 | |
I will have you both court-martialled. | 0:08:31 | 0:08:33 | |
-Do you understand? -We didn't nick it, all right! -Simon. | 0:08:33 | 0:08:37 | |
Let's go get some lunch - have a look with fresh eyes. | 0:08:37 | 0:08:39 | |
-I don't want lunch. -Yeah, you do. Come on. | 0:08:39 | 0:08:42 | |
-Sir. -Aaah, Khaleesi, loser of Dragons. -What? | 0:08:46 | 0:08:52 | |
Just working my way through Game Of Thrones. | 0:08:52 | 0:08:55 | |
No? Anyway, don't worry about the robot. | 0:08:55 | 0:08:58 | |
-Just file it under expensive fuck-ups. Next to Iraq. -Yes, sir. | 0:08:58 | 0:09:01 | |
But you weren't coming to see me about that, were you? | 0:09:01 | 0:09:04 | |
Actually, we just wanted to have a sit down with the village elders - talk about this bomber. | 0:09:04 | 0:09:08 | |
Probably some ex-mujaheddin veteran trained by the CIA. | 0:09:08 | 0:09:11 | |
Fought the Soviets, | 0:09:12 | 0:09:14 | |
and anyone else who wandered uninvited into his country. | 0:09:14 | 0:09:17 | |
-Suppose I should respect him, really. -Really? -No! He's trying to kill me! | 0:09:17 | 0:09:21 | |
If I ever get my hands on him, I'm going to punch him and punch him | 0:09:21 | 0:09:24 | |
until Simon mutters something about it being "a little bit unprofessional". | 0:09:24 | 0:09:28 | |
-Then I'd punch him again. Then I'm going to punch Simon. -Right. | 0:09:28 | 0:09:31 | |
This afternoon Captain Softly was going to talk to some elders about a school we're knocking up. | 0:09:31 | 0:09:35 | |
Why don't you do that instead, see what you can find out? | 0:09:35 | 0:09:37 | |
That'd be fantastic. | 0:09:37 | 0:09:38 | |
And no jokes about burqas, bombs, al-Qaeda, guns, polygamy, | 0:09:38 | 0:09:44 | |
Russians, goats, dogs, cricket, Pakistan, women's education, | 0:09:44 | 0:09:49 | |
Thursday nights, or hats. | 0:09:49 | 0:09:52 | |
-Right, but the bin Laden material is fine though, yeah? -Oh, yes. | 0:09:52 | 0:09:55 | |
That stuff's gold. Carry on. | 0:09:55 | 0:09:56 | |
Oh, there it is. | 0:10:02 | 0:10:05 | |
-Let's give it to him. -No, no, no, no, no, no! | 0:10:07 | 0:10:10 | |
-Eh? -He'll think we've nicked it. | 0:10:10 | 0:10:11 | |
He'll try and get us court-martialled. | 0:10:11 | 0:10:15 | |
-But we can't let him go without a weapon. -And we won't. | 0:10:15 | 0:10:18 | |
-We'll just let him find the pin himself. -Ahhhhh! Genius. | 0:10:18 | 0:10:24 | |
But how's he going to find it there? | 0:10:27 | 0:10:29 | |
I could stand here pointing at it. | 0:10:31 | 0:10:32 | |
So... | 0:10:38 | 0:10:39 | |
-Hi, Bird. Oh, yeah, I never had a chance to thank you. -For? | 0:10:40 | 0:10:44 | |
For... You know, | 0:10:44 | 0:10:45 | |
so that you-know-who would lose interest. He clearly has. | 0:10:45 | 0:10:50 | |
-And you're fine with that, are you? -Oh, yeah. Totally fine. | 0:10:50 | 0:10:54 | |
Anyway, the point is, he's moved on, no harm done. So that's...thank you. | 0:10:54 | 0:10:59 | |
No problem, Padre. I knew if you fucked him, he'd lose interest. | 0:10:59 | 0:11:04 | |
I... What? No, that... That was just a wind-up. | 0:11:05 | 0:11:09 | |
-Oh, you don't really think that we... -I don't think. I know. | 0:11:09 | 0:11:12 | |
Welcome to the Medhurst scrapheap. | 0:11:13 | 0:11:15 | |
I'm so weak. Why did I give in? | 0:11:18 | 0:11:21 | |
Curiosity? Sexual frustration? Boredom? Low self-esteem? | 0:11:21 | 0:11:26 | |
-Buzz in when you hear one you like. -Thank you, Bird. | 0:11:26 | 0:11:29 | |
-Ready? -Aye. | 0:11:32 | 0:11:34 | |
-Ahhh! -You two all right? -Aye. -OK, change of plan for the afternoon. | 0:11:44 | 0:11:51 | |
16:00. Meeting with the village elders. | 0:11:51 | 0:11:54 | |
We'll have the usual small talk. | 0:11:54 | 0:11:56 | |
Then we'll tell them we're building them a new school. Aren't we generous? | 0:11:56 | 0:11:59 | |
And then casually ask them about the VW Beetle. | 0:11:59 | 0:12:01 | |
-Are we going to ask about the robot, an' all? -Nah. | 0:12:01 | 0:12:03 | |
-We'll get a new one. Rocket, you're our food point man. -Gleaming. | 0:12:03 | 0:12:07 | |
Yeah, I seem to remember that their house speciality is cartilage, so you'll be eating for two. | 0:12:07 | 0:12:12 | |
-Right, we leave at 15:00. -Okey-doke. | 0:12:12 | 0:12:16 | |
-So, you're saying have a bit of lunch. -No, I... | 0:12:16 | 0:12:19 | |
-I need a weapon for the shura. -Go to the CQ? | 0:12:26 | 0:12:29 | |
What, and get my name put on the board as Twat Of The Week? | 0:12:29 | 0:12:33 | |
Oh, then Nick'll find out. I don't want him to think I'm incompetent. | 0:12:33 | 0:12:37 | |
Yeah. Best hide that fact for as long as possible. | 0:12:37 | 0:12:41 | |
-You want weapon? -Oh! Sh! | 0:12:41 | 0:12:43 | |
What I need really is a firing-pin-retaining-pin. | 0:12:45 | 0:12:49 | |
Ah, no, very tricky. New weapon, 50. | 0:12:49 | 0:12:55 | |
New firing-pin-retaining-pin, 1,000. | 0:12:55 | 0:12:59 | |
Well, I don't have 1,000... | 0:12:59 | 0:13:02 | |
Let's see the weapon. | 0:13:02 | 0:13:04 | |
-Oh, it's brilliant! -Behold! The AK-48! | 0:13:12 | 0:13:19 | |
Like an AK-47 but more so! | 0:13:21 | 0:13:25 | |
-Yes, more gold. -Only 50. Bargain. | 0:13:25 | 0:13:29 | |
I can't carry that, I'm in the bloody army! | 0:13:29 | 0:13:32 | |
You carry this, you will look like you are in a much better army! | 0:13:32 | 0:13:35 | |
You will look like the king of the army! | 0:13:35 | 0:13:37 | |
I will look like a drug dealer. | 0:13:37 | 0:13:40 | |
Many of the people at this shura will be drug dealers. | 0:13:40 | 0:13:44 | |
-Well, poppy farmers. You will fit right in. -Categorically not. | 0:13:44 | 0:13:49 | |
-I throw in gold bazooka. -No. | 0:13:54 | 0:13:56 | |
HE SPEAKS IN OWN LANGUAGE | 0:14:12 | 0:14:15 | |
He is happy to meet with you again. | 0:14:15 | 0:14:18 | |
HE SPEAKS IN OWN LANGUAGE | 0:14:18 | 0:14:22 | |
They heard about the robot. | 0:14:22 | 0:14:23 | |
HE SPEAKS IN OWN LANGUAGE | 0:14:23 | 0:14:25 | |
Hashtag fail. | 0:14:27 | 0:14:29 | |
HE SPEAKS IN OWN LANGUAGE | 0:14:29 | 0:14:39 | |
-They know where it is. -Really? | 0:14:39 | 0:14:40 | |
We can't go and get it, Towerblock. It'll be a come-on. | 0:14:40 | 0:14:43 | |
Find out where it is though. Show some willing. | 0:14:43 | 0:14:45 | |
And tell them about the school. | 0:14:45 | 0:14:48 | |
Sure you don't want to try this kebab, boss? It's delicious. | 0:14:49 | 0:14:52 | |
Um, sorry, Rocket, I've got a personal rule - | 0:14:52 | 0:14:54 | |
never take gastronomic advice from a Scotsman. | 0:14:54 | 0:14:57 | |
They are very happy that the British are concerned | 0:14:57 | 0:15:00 | |
for the education of their children. | 0:15:00 | 0:15:02 | |
-Good, now ask them about the Beetle. -Yes, I have. | 0:15:02 | 0:15:06 | |
But they don't want you to go away hungry. | 0:15:06 | 0:15:07 | |
They have reserved a special dish for their most honoured guest. | 0:15:07 | 0:15:13 | |
-The eyeballs and testicles of the sheep. -Oh, dear. | 0:15:16 | 0:15:23 | |
Jesus, I wouldn't eat those. | 0:15:23 | 0:15:25 | |
HE SPEAKS IN OWN LANGUAGE | 0:15:29 | 0:15:34 | |
He says food first, then you can talk about the Beetle. | 0:15:34 | 0:15:38 | |
This is very nice. | 0:15:51 | 0:15:53 | |
-So, Um, about the Beetle? -Oh. | 0:15:55 | 0:15:59 | |
They have not seen one. | 0:15:59 | 0:16:00 | |
Bird. | 0:16:04 | 0:16:05 | |
Ah, Doctor Who? | 0:16:07 | 0:16:10 | |
No, don't mind me. | 0:16:10 | 0:16:11 | |
It's a good episode and you're probably going to talk all over it. | 0:16:11 | 0:16:14 | |
-Ma'am. -No, I'm not. | 0:16:14 | 0:16:17 | |
Although I could do with a TARDIS right now. | 0:16:17 | 0:16:19 | |
-Go back in time and change a few things. -Can't do that. | 0:16:19 | 0:16:23 | |
You'd create a temporal paradox. Terrible idea. | 0:16:23 | 0:16:25 | |
I only want to change one thing. | 0:16:25 | 0:16:27 | |
Even the smallest thing can destroy your entire future. | 0:16:27 | 0:16:29 | |
That's what... Oh... Oh! | 0:16:29 | 0:16:32 | |
Sorry, Bird. I'm sorry... Ooh! Just being silly. | 0:16:36 | 0:16:40 | |
I can't talk to anyone else. | 0:16:40 | 0:16:42 | |
I knew this day would come. Full-on girly chats, waterworks. Bollocks! | 0:16:42 | 0:16:46 | |
I just... Argh! I blame myself. | 0:16:46 | 0:16:50 | |
Yeah, I blame you as well. Look, what do you want from Nick? | 0:16:52 | 0:16:56 | |
I want things to go back to before. | 0:16:56 | 0:16:58 | |
-SHE MOCKS BUZZER -No, you don't. | 0:16:58 | 0:16:59 | |
-Eh? -You want Nick to have fallen in love with you. -No, I don't! | 0:16:59 | 0:17:04 | |
Pretty sure you do. | 0:17:04 | 0:17:05 | |
-Nick Medhurst only loves one person -Oh! | 0:17:07 | 0:17:11 | |
-Nick Medhurst. -Which is why nothing ever touches him. | 0:17:11 | 0:17:14 | |
He's all like, "Yeah, why not - could be fun." And it IS fun. | 0:17:14 | 0:17:17 | |
-For him. -Right. | 0:17:17 | 0:17:19 | |
-Bird, do you think he'll ever change? -No. Do you? -Ye... Yeah... | 0:17:22 | 0:17:27 | |
-SHE MIMICS BUZZER -But... | 0:17:27 | 0:17:28 | |
-SHE MIMICS BUZZER -Maybe... | 0:17:28 | 0:17:29 | |
-SHE MIMICS BUZZER -Bird, you are terrible at girly chats. | 0:17:29 | 0:17:33 | |
I try to be. | 0:17:33 | 0:17:35 | |
Come on, guys. Shout's on. | 0:17:49 | 0:17:51 | |
Oooh! Circle. | 0:17:57 | 0:17:58 | |
All right, boss. All done. We've double-checked. | 0:18:11 | 0:18:13 | |
Cos I know you've got a fan in the Taliban. | 0:18:13 | 0:18:16 | |
-Ooh. Rhymed. -Just my luck. | 0:18:16 | 0:18:19 | |
-Now, off you fuck. -Oh, very good. | 0:18:19 | 0:18:21 | |
Oh. | 0:18:23 | 0:18:24 | |
-CQ give you a rifle then, skip? -Yes. | 0:18:34 | 0:18:38 | |
-Did he make you Twat Of The Week? -No. -How come? You pay him off? | 0:18:38 | 0:18:42 | |
Well, you remember the home-made fudge that Charlotte used to send me? | 0:18:42 | 0:18:46 | |
-HE GIGGLES -Fudge. | 0:18:46 | 0:18:48 | |
It's not funny. | 0:18:48 | 0:18:50 | |
We were together for 14 years. | 0:18:50 | 0:18:52 | |
And for how many of those years did she give you fudge? | 0:18:52 | 0:18:56 | |
He's charging me one box every six hours. | 0:18:56 | 0:18:58 | |
If I don't pay, I'm on the Twat Of The Week board. | 0:18:58 | 0:19:01 | |
-Is he allowed to do that? -He can do what he wants. He's toying with me. | 0:19:01 | 0:19:04 | |
I've only got four boxes left. | 0:19:04 | 0:19:06 | |
-HE GIGGLES -Toying with your fudge. | 0:19:06 | 0:19:08 | |
THEY GIGGLE | 0:19:08 | 0:19:11 | |
Well, here's a thing. | 0:19:20 | 0:19:23 | |
-This device was made by my bezza in the Taliban. -Your Talibezza. | 0:19:23 | 0:19:27 | |
That's... Graham's track. | 0:19:27 | 0:19:29 | |
Used to make the pressure plate. Low metal. | 0:19:29 | 0:19:33 | |
Cheeky bastards cannibalising the robot for parts. | 0:19:33 | 0:19:35 | |
God, it's like a hostage situation where they send you the fingers of a loved one. | 0:19:35 | 0:19:38 | |
So, if the bomber's got the robot...? | 0:19:38 | 0:19:40 | |
What say we go ring his doorbell, but instead of running off, | 0:19:40 | 0:19:43 | |
blow down the door, pile in and see who he is. | 0:19:43 | 0:19:46 | |
-Fucking come on! -And then kick the shit out of him. | 0:19:46 | 0:19:49 | |
That would be unprofessional. | 0:19:49 | 0:19:50 | |
Boss, you're not going to do anything stupid, are you? | 0:19:50 | 0:19:53 | |
It's a bit late for that, Bird. I came here to pull bombs out of the ground. | 0:19:53 | 0:19:56 | |
But the only reason the bombs are in the ground in the first place is cos I came here. | 0:19:56 | 0:20:00 | |
It's all pretty fucking stupid. | 0:20:00 | 0:20:02 | |
Oooh, fudge! | 0:20:15 | 0:20:16 | |
No, it's my last box and it's for CQMS. | 0:20:16 | 0:20:19 | |
I need that gun for the overnight raid. | 0:20:19 | 0:20:21 | |
Skip, just be Twat Of The Week. It's only a week. | 0:20:21 | 0:20:24 | |
Everyone thinks you're a twat anyway, so... | 0:20:24 | 0:20:26 | |
This operation could get really kinetic. Properly...kinetic. | 0:20:26 | 0:20:30 | |
Fucking hope so. | 0:20:30 | 0:20:31 | |
I just don't want Nick thinking that I can't protect him. | 0:20:31 | 0:20:36 | |
-Maybe you'll find your retaining-pin, skip. Drink your tea. -Aye. | 0:20:40 | 0:20:44 | |
-Things are always in the last place you look. -Nah, it's gone. | 0:20:44 | 0:20:48 | |
Never mind. Hey! Drink your tea. | 0:20:48 | 0:20:52 | |
I'm just sorry I thought it was you two. | 0:20:52 | 0:20:54 | |
-Because you are better than that. -Aye. Drink your tea. | 0:20:54 | 0:20:59 | |
HE CHOKES | 0:21:01 | 0:21:03 | |
What the fuck was that?! What did I just swallow? | 0:21:03 | 0:21:06 | |
-Firing-pin-retaining-pin, skip. -What?! So you did fucking nick it! | 0:21:08 | 0:21:12 | |
-No, we never! -So what was that?! -We found it! -Bollocks! | 0:21:12 | 0:21:16 | |
-Why didn't you just give it to me? -Cos you don't trust us. | 0:21:16 | 0:21:18 | |
-If we just handed it over, you'd say we'd stolen it. -No, I wouldn't. | 0:21:18 | 0:21:21 | |
But we just did hand it over and you did say we'd stolen it. Case closed. | 0:21:21 | 0:21:26 | |
Ah-ha! | 0:21:26 | 0:21:28 | |
Right. I'm organising a trip to a quiet place in the country. | 0:21:28 | 0:21:32 | |
Which we're going to slightly blow up. | 0:21:32 | 0:21:34 | |
We go in at 0300, so total radio silence at 0230. | 0:21:34 | 0:21:38 | |
This gives us the added advantage that we won't be able to hear | 0:21:38 | 0:21:41 | |
any of Sergeant Hogg's shit jokes. | 0:21:41 | 0:21:43 | |
So, let's get them all out the way now. | 0:21:43 | 0:21:46 | |
Ladies, gentleman and engineers, Search Team Leader Sergeant Hogg. | 0:21:46 | 0:21:51 | |
So, here's the compound we're looking at. Entrances here and here. | 0:21:51 | 0:21:55 | |
There's a mine in the doorway, so that's out. | 0:22:31 | 0:22:33 | |
This wall looks good but I want to clear along the top first. | 0:22:33 | 0:22:36 | |
GUNSHOT | 0:22:59 | 0:23:01 | |
Medic! | 0:23:01 | 0:23:02 | |
Go, go, go! | 0:23:02 | 0:23:04 | |
Shit! GUNFIRE | 0:23:04 | 0:23:06 | |
-Right, nobody touch a fucking thing! Simon, get the search team. -Boss. | 0:23:22 | 0:23:25 | |
We need a full fingertip search. | 0:23:36 | 0:23:38 | |
Everything could be booby-trapped. | 0:23:38 | 0:23:40 | |
Yeah. This is him. | 0:23:42 | 0:23:44 | |
Not necessarily, boss. | 0:23:44 | 0:23:45 | |
-I mean, how much orange wire is there in the world? -No, I know it. | 0:23:45 | 0:23:50 | |
-Boss, it might not be him. -This is him, all right. | 0:23:50 | 0:23:53 | |
-He's been doing this for years. -We're secure. -How's Hogg? -Fucked. | 0:23:53 | 0:23:57 | |
-On a chopper. Still breathing. Losing blood. -Shit. SHIT! | 0:23:57 | 0:24:01 | |
When I get my fucking hands on this guy I'm going to... | 0:24:02 | 0:24:05 | |
Boss...he was trying to run away. | 0:24:08 | 0:24:11 | |
This is him? | 0:24:16 | 0:24:18 | |
Fuck's sake. | 0:24:21 | 0:24:23 | |
What am I going to do now? | 0:24:24 | 0:24:25 | |
Find out who his favourite member of One Direction is? | 0:24:25 | 0:24:28 | |
-How old is he? -17. So? | 0:24:31 | 0:24:33 | |
You made all these? | 0:24:34 | 0:24:35 | |
Just take him away. | 0:24:40 | 0:24:41 | |
KNOCK AT DOOR | 0:24:50 | 0:24:52 | |
-So you got him, then? -Yeah. | 0:24:55 | 0:24:56 | |
I thought there'd be this big moment, | 0:25:01 | 0:25:03 | |
you know, when we're face to face and I say... | 0:25:03 | 0:25:06 | |
I dunno. Or I'd hit him or something. | 0:25:06 | 0:25:10 | |
I sound like a dick. | 0:25:10 | 0:25:11 | |
-And how do you feel now? -Honestly? | 0:25:11 | 0:25:15 | |
I feel nothing. Just. nothing. | 0:25:18 | 0:25:21 | |
Just...empty. | 0:25:22 | 0:25:24 | |
Is there anything I can do for you? | 0:25:26 | 0:25:28 | |
No, we can't. | 0:25:39 | 0:25:40 | |
-Just thought it might be fun. -Who for? | 0:25:42 | 0:25:46 | |
I dunno. | 0:25:53 | 0:25:55 | |
OK. Good meeting, everyone. | 0:26:03 | 0:26:06 | |
-You been Valloning your own shit again, Corporal? -Yes. | 0:26:19 | 0:26:22 | |
-Do you find your retaining-pin? -No. | 0:26:22 | 0:26:24 | |
Did you do a fingertip search as well? | 0:26:24 | 0:26:30 | |
Yes. | 0:26:30 | 0:26:32 | |
I've got two hours before the fudge runs out and I'm Twat Of The Week. | 0:26:32 | 0:26:35 | |
Well, next time, you'll know to trust your men. | 0:26:35 | 0:26:37 | |
-No, cos next time Mac will nick it. -Aye. I probably will. | 0:26:37 | 0:26:42 | |
-It'll turn up eventually. -Well, let's hope so, | 0:26:42 | 0:26:45 | |
because there's a limit to how much of my own shit I will search through. | 0:26:45 | 0:26:48 | |
Out of interest, Simon, how much shit is that? | 0:26:48 | 0:26:51 | |
Actually, I'd rather not know. | 0:26:51 | 0:26:53 | |
But I am keen to discover the rationale behind your faecal trawlings. | 0:26:53 | 0:26:57 | |
Sir, through a series of... | 0:26:57 | 0:26:59 | |
unfortunate events, I swallowed by firing-pin-retaining-pin. | 0:26:59 | 0:27:03 | |
Oh, dear. Those things are like hen's teeth. | 0:27:03 | 0:27:06 | |
Nick, Simon's swallowed his firing-pin-retaining-pin. | 0:27:06 | 0:27:09 | |
Been going through his shit to try and recover it. Resourceful. | 0:27:09 | 0:27:12 | |
You should have said so. I always carry a spare. | 0:27:12 | 0:27:15 | |
Anyway, just wanted to congratulate you on the raid. A great success. | 0:27:19 | 0:27:22 | |
And we've heard that Sergeant Hogg has stabilised. | 0:27:22 | 0:27:24 | |
Poor chap's lost the eye but otherwise doing OK. | 0:27:24 | 0:27:26 | |
-Thank God for that. -Guys, we've won a competition. -Have we? | 0:27:26 | 0:27:30 | |
Yeah, we won a trip to see a suspected IED in Yellow 1A. Woo(!) | 0:27:30 | 0:27:33 | |
Well, carry on. | 0:27:33 | 0:27:34 | |
Lost an eye. Poor fucker. | 0:27:44 | 0:27:48 | |
But on the plus side, half-price sunglasses. | 0:27:48 | 0:27:52 | |
And the Annual Wedge fancy-dress ball, he can come as a pirate. | 0:27:52 | 0:27:55 | |
Maybe he could get a bionic eye - see through walls. | 0:27:55 | 0:27:59 | |
-Oh, that'd be fucking mint! -Still, he's got his crown jewels. | 0:27:59 | 0:28:03 | |
What more does he want? | 0:28:03 | 0:28:04 | |
I know it's your dream to have more balls than eyes, Mac, | 0:28:04 | 0:28:07 | |
but maybe Sergeant Hogg... | 0:28:07 | 0:28:09 | |
RADIO: 'Bluestone 42? Bluestone 42? | 0:28:26 | 0:28:31 | |
'Bluestone 42, respond. | 0:28:31 | 0:28:34 | |
'Bluestone 42, nothing heard, answer me. | 0:28:34 | 0:28:36 | |
'Charlie Charlie One, this is Zero Alpha Two One Alpha Two Two Alpha, | 0:28:36 | 0:28:40 | |
'establish point of co-ordinates...' | 0:28:40 | 0:28:43 |