Episode 6 Boy Meets Girl
Similar Content
Browse content similar to Episode 6. Check below for episodes and series from the same categories and more!
Transcript
| Line | From | To | |
|---|---|---|---|
# Hey, Mr Dream Seller, where have you been? | 0:00:01 | 0:00:04 | |
# Tell me, have you dreams I can see? | 0:00:04 | 0:00:08 | |
# I came along just to bring you this song | 0:00:10 | 0:00:15 | |
# Can you spare one dream for me? # | 0:00:15 | 0:00:19 | |
SHE GASPS Judy, night before the wedding... | 0:00:25 | 0:00:28 | |
Any last words as a virgin? | 0:00:28 | 0:00:30 | |
-Ha-ha, very funny! -Oh, come on, this is your wedding video. | 0:00:30 | 0:00:33 | |
You'll have this for the rest of your life. | 0:00:33 | 0:00:36 | |
So, how are you feeling? | 0:00:36 | 0:00:38 | |
Erm, good. Nervous, but good. | 0:00:38 | 0:00:40 | |
Go on. | 0:00:40 | 0:00:42 | |
Erm, OK... Well, er, I'd just like to say I'm really excited... | 0:00:42 | 0:00:45 | |
All right, that's fine. You do me. Sit down. | 0:00:45 | 0:00:48 | |
So, it's the night before Judy's wedding, | 0:00:48 | 0:00:52 | |
and welcome to me! JUDY LAUGHS | 0:00:52 | 0:00:56 | |
I want to wish the happy couple a lovely honeymoon in Wales. | 0:00:56 | 0:00:59 | |
In fact, when I asked Leo what he had planned after today, | 0:00:59 | 0:01:02 | |
he said he's going to bang 'er for a fortnight! | 0:01:02 | 0:01:04 | |
Hoo-ha! What do you think? | 0:01:04 | 0:01:06 | |
No. | 0:01:06 | 0:01:08 | |
Ooooh! What have we got here? | 0:01:08 | 0:01:11 | |
Hello. It's the seating plan. | 0:01:11 | 0:01:14 | |
Mum, it's a buffet. People can sit where they like. | 0:01:14 | 0:01:16 | |
Oh, you say that, but it's very dangerous to let Uncle Walter | 0:01:16 | 0:01:21 | |
sit next to Hazel from the dry cleaners. | 0:01:21 | 0:01:24 | |
You know what happened last time... with that chocolate eclair. | 0:01:24 | 0:01:27 | |
Leo's only had one girlfriend prior to Judy, | 0:01:27 | 0:01:30 | |
and I'm glad to say that they kept in touch for over two years... | 0:01:30 | 0:01:33 | |
But then me mam wanted a vac with a bit more suction. | 0:01:33 | 0:01:37 | |
No. | 0:01:37 | 0:01:38 | |
BOTH: # Get me to the church | 0:01:38 | 0:01:40 | |
# Get me to the church | 0:01:40 | 0:01:42 | |
# Be sure and get me to the church | 0:01:42 | 0:01:45 | |
# On time! # | 0:01:45 | 0:01:47 | |
All right, all done? | 0:01:47 | 0:01:49 | |
# I'm getting married in the morning! # | 0:01:49 | 0:01:52 | |
Are you still filming? | 0:01:52 | 0:01:54 | |
I once read that the best man speech should be no longer than it takes the happy couple to make love. | 0:01:54 | 0:01:59 | |
So, ladies and gentlemen, I give you Mr and Mrs Macdonald. | 0:01:59 | 0:02:03 | |
Boof! | 0:02:03 | 0:02:05 | |
Drop the mic! | 0:02:05 | 0:02:07 | |
No, no, no and, er, no. | 0:02:07 | 0:02:11 | |
Are you all right, love? | 0:02:11 | 0:02:13 | |
I'm OK. A few butterflies in my tummy. | 0:02:13 | 0:02:16 | |
Aww! Have you been to the toilet? | 0:02:16 | 0:02:19 | |
Who'd have thought it? | 0:02:19 | 0:02:21 | |
I still can't quite believe my luck. | 0:02:21 | 0:02:23 | |
Oh, it's not luck, love. | 0:02:23 | 0:02:25 | |
You deserve it all. | 0:02:25 | 0:02:27 | |
Leo is a very lucky young man. | 0:02:27 | 0:02:30 | |
And don't you ever forget that. | 0:02:30 | 0:02:32 | |
Oh, Mum! | 0:02:32 | 0:02:33 | |
Oh! | 0:02:33 | 0:02:34 | |
No, you're going to have to do it again. | 0:02:34 | 0:02:37 | |
My battery died. Wait there. | 0:02:37 | 0:02:39 | |
I'll put Charlie on the sofa tonight. | 0:02:39 | 0:02:43 | |
I was going to put him in with James, | 0:02:43 | 0:02:44 | |
but the poor lad's been through enough in his life already. | 0:02:44 | 0:02:47 | |
Thanks, Mam. | 0:02:47 | 0:02:49 | |
Here, give us that. | 0:02:49 | 0:02:52 | |
-I'll run the iron over it. -Oh. | 0:02:52 | 0:02:53 | |
Did you get the new underwear I told you to? | 0:02:53 | 0:02:55 | |
Yes, Mam. Special wedding pants, special wedding socks, special wedding shirt... | 0:02:55 | 0:02:59 | |
-Oh, did you pick up my suit from the dry cleaners? -What? | 0:02:59 | 0:03:03 | |
Oh, Mam, tell us you didn't. | 0:03:03 | 0:03:04 | |
-Leo! -Oh, Mam, I'm joking! | 0:03:04 | 0:03:06 | |
-Oh...! -HE LAUGHS | 0:03:06 | 0:03:08 | |
What do you think that is - me tracksuit? | 0:03:08 | 0:03:10 | |
Before I forget... | 0:03:10 | 0:03:13 | |
this is for you. | 0:03:13 | 0:03:15 | |
-What's this? -It's a letter. | 0:03:17 | 0:03:19 | |
Yes, I can see that. Who's it's from? | 0:03:19 | 0:03:21 | |
It's from me to you. | 0:03:21 | 0:03:23 | |
Mam, I'm right here. You could just tell us. | 0:03:23 | 0:03:25 | |
We could just have a conversation. | 0:03:25 | 0:03:27 | |
Some things, Leo, you just want to put in writing. | 0:03:27 | 0:03:30 | |
No, don't open it now! | 0:03:33 | 0:03:35 | |
The food's about to arrive. Wait till later. | 0:03:35 | 0:03:37 | |
Where's Jackie? | 0:03:45 | 0:03:46 | |
She's upstairs, shaving her legs. | 0:03:46 | 0:03:48 | |
-Ahh! -Can you not hear the hedge trimmer? | 0:03:48 | 0:03:51 | |
Dean! You're a cheeky monkey, you are! | 0:03:51 | 0:03:55 | |
-It's dead. -What is? | 0:03:55 | 0:03:57 | |
-The boiler. -Oh, yeah, I meant to say. | 0:03:57 | 0:03:59 | |
It's not been working all day. | 0:03:59 | 0:04:01 | |
-Mum, you know what's happening tomorrow. -Of course I do, love. | 0:04:01 | 0:04:05 | |
So, no shower, no bath, I'm getting married with greasy hair. Great(!) | 0:04:05 | 0:04:09 | |
Dean, have a look at it, will you? | 0:04:09 | 0:04:12 | |
Aye, I'll look at it, but I don't really know anything about hair! | 0:04:12 | 0:04:17 | |
-Hey, Charlie, try some of that. It's named after Pam. -What is it? | 0:04:17 | 0:04:20 | |
Sweet-and-sour! | 0:04:20 | 0:04:22 | |
Mam's more of a prawn cracker. | 0:04:22 | 0:04:24 | |
Thank you, James. | 0:04:24 | 0:04:26 | |
Leo, you're a crispy squid. | 0:04:26 | 0:04:28 | |
What does that even mean? | 0:04:28 | 0:04:29 | |
And you, Tony, are a big, thick noodle. | 0:04:29 | 0:04:32 | |
Oh-ho-ho-ho! | 0:04:32 | 0:04:34 | |
More rice... Give us that back! | 0:04:35 | 0:04:38 | |
Oh, what's this? A letter from the blushing bride? | 0:04:38 | 0:04:41 | |
It's none of your business, James. It's personal between me and Leo. | 0:04:41 | 0:04:44 | |
-Thank you. -It's an invoice, back payment of rent - 26 years' board and lodgings. | 0:04:44 | 0:04:48 | |
What did you write him a letter for? | 0:04:48 | 0:04:50 | |
Because I wanted to, Charlie. | 0:04:50 | 0:04:53 | |
There was a few things I wanted to say to Leo, | 0:04:53 | 0:04:55 | |
the night before his wedding. | 0:04:55 | 0:04:57 | |
Sex tips for keeping the magic alive. | 0:04:57 | 0:04:59 | |
Number one, turn the lights out, number two, get a bag on your head. | 0:04:59 | 0:05:03 | |
-Number three, don't sleep with Mam's boss. -Oh...! -What? | 0:05:03 | 0:05:07 | |
PHONE RINGS | 0:05:07 | 0:05:10 | |
I bet you're relaxing, candles lit, | 0:05:10 | 0:05:12 | |
playing some Norah Jones and sipping cocktails. | 0:05:12 | 0:05:14 | |
-'I'm actually in the middle of a nightmare.' -Why, what's happened? | 0:05:14 | 0:05:17 | |
Our boiler's packed up and there's no hot water or heating. | 0:05:17 | 0:05:20 | |
-What's the matter? -Hang on, lovely. | 0:05:20 | 0:05:21 | |
Mam, I can't hear you when I'm on the phone talking to someone else. | 0:05:21 | 0:05:24 | |
Oh, well, forgive me for caring about my son and his future wife. I do apologise! | 0:05:24 | 0:05:27 | |
I haven't even been able to wash my hair. | 0:05:27 | 0:05:29 | |
-They've got no heating or hot water. -I don't know what I'm going to do. | 0:05:29 | 0:05:32 | |
-Can they not fix it? -Tell her to come here. | 0:05:32 | 0:05:34 | |
Hang on, lovely. What? | 0:05:34 | 0:05:36 | |
Tell her to come here. You know what I always say... | 0:05:36 | 0:05:39 | |
"Always use a coaster. That's what they're there for." | 0:05:39 | 0:05:42 | |
Family first. | 0:05:42 | 0:05:44 | |
-Are you sure? -Absolutely. | 0:05:44 | 0:05:45 | |
No...problem at all. | 0:05:45 | 0:05:47 | |
DOORBELL RINGS | 0:05:47 | 0:05:50 | |
Hey! | 0:05:50 | 0:05:51 | |
Pam! Oh, you're an angel. | 0:05:51 | 0:05:53 | |
Oh, howay, man. Come in. | 0:05:53 | 0:05:55 | |
Ohh! And Peggy as well! | 0:05:55 | 0:05:58 | |
And Jackie. Oh! | 0:05:58 | 0:06:02 | |
Nobody else, then? | 0:06:02 | 0:06:04 | |
The Pied Piper having a night off, is he? | 0:06:04 | 0:06:06 | |
Out of consideration for you, Pam, | 0:06:06 | 0:06:08 | |
I've sent Dean to kip at his brother's tonight. | 0:06:08 | 0:06:11 | |
That's thoughtful of you, Jackie. | 0:06:11 | 0:06:13 | |
Family first, eh, Pam? | 0:06:15 | 0:06:17 | |
Sod off, Tony. | 0:06:17 | 0:06:19 | |
All right, everybody? | 0:06:22 | 0:06:23 | |
-Losers! Right... -Oh, I don't like it, I don't like it. | 0:06:27 | 0:06:31 | |
The Ambassador's party, around nine. | 0:06:31 | 0:06:34 | |
Three! | 0:06:37 | 0:06:39 | |
What have you got? | 0:06:39 | 0:06:40 | |
Tortilla chip, one, easy. | 0:06:40 | 0:06:43 | |
Number two, strawberry ice cream. | 0:06:43 | 0:06:46 | |
-Oh, come on! -Number three... | 0:06:46 | 0:06:49 | |
-..mushy peas! -No... No! | 0:06:50 | 0:06:53 | |
Bottle it! | 0:06:55 | 0:06:56 | |
Why, Ambassador, with this, you are really spoiling us. | 0:06:56 | 0:07:01 | |
Bottle it! | 0:07:01 | 0:07:03 | |
-Aggggh! -No-o-o-o! | 0:07:03 | 0:07:05 | |
Argh! | 0:07:05 | 0:07:07 | |
-How's it going? -Oh...just wonderful(!) | 0:07:09 | 0:07:13 | |
Just a pity Jackie doesn't feel she can relax enough to let her hair down. | 0:07:13 | 0:07:17 | |
That was the best cheese toastie I've ever had. | 0:07:19 | 0:07:23 | |
My pleasure, Peggy. | 0:07:23 | 0:07:25 | |
Mmm, it's melted in my mouth. | 0:07:25 | 0:07:27 | |
I loved the toast. | 0:07:27 | 0:07:28 | |
Shall I tell you what I really loved? | 0:07:28 | 0:07:32 | |
The cheese? | 0:07:32 | 0:07:33 | |
Yes! | 0:07:33 | 0:07:35 | |
-Delicious. -My pleasure, Peggy. | 0:07:35 | 0:07:37 | |
Would you like another one, Peggy? | 0:07:37 | 0:07:39 | |
Oh, no, Pam, that's not what I mean at all. | 0:07:39 | 0:07:43 | |
You sure you wouldn't like another cheese toastie, Peggy? | 0:07:43 | 0:07:46 | |
Oh, go on. You've twisted my arm! | 0:07:46 | 0:07:48 | |
You, er, doing anything nice tomorrow, or...? | 0:07:53 | 0:07:56 | |
Oh, let's see. Erm... | 0:07:56 | 0:07:58 | |
No, I don't think I am. No. | 0:07:58 | 0:07:59 | |
Oh, wait a minute... I'm getting married! | 0:07:59 | 0:08:01 | |
Oh, yeah! | 0:08:01 | 0:08:03 | |
Hey, do you think the bride and groom are supposed to spend their last night of freedom together? | 0:08:03 | 0:08:07 | |
-Do you think we're tempting fate? -Well, you know me... | 0:08:07 | 0:08:10 | |
mad, crazy, daredevil, anarchist. | 0:08:10 | 0:08:15 | |
-Do you want a cup of coffee? -At this time of night? | 0:08:15 | 0:08:18 | |
Judy, I've put you in Leo's room tonight. | 0:08:18 | 0:08:21 | |
-I thought I was in my room tonight! -That's my room! -Excuse me? | 0:08:21 | 0:08:25 | |
It's neither of yours, it's Judy's. | 0:08:25 | 0:08:27 | |
That room is now the bridal suite, and it's fit for a queen. | 0:08:27 | 0:08:31 | |
At least it will be, when YOU clear your pizza boxes from under the bed. | 0:08:31 | 0:08:36 | |
-Sorry. -And you, Leo, can go and shift some of your stuff, | 0:08:36 | 0:08:39 | |
-make space for Judy. -Eh?! -Go on! | 0:08:39 | 0:08:41 | |
-Hey, have you got your suit ready for tomorrow? -Yeah. | 0:09:21 | 0:09:24 | |
Pam got me one from Oxfam. | 0:09:24 | 0:09:25 | |
-Oh, that's nice. -And I gave it to Age Concern. | 0:09:25 | 0:09:28 | |
I wonder if I'll ever get married. | 0:09:31 | 0:09:33 | |
Charlie, you're only 20. You've got your whole life ahead of you. | 0:09:33 | 0:09:36 | |
Yeah, suppose you're right. | 0:09:36 | 0:09:39 | |
I mean, there's no rush, is there? | 0:09:39 | 0:09:42 | |
I always used to think that having a girlfriend was the most important thing in the world. | 0:09:42 | 0:09:46 | |
But, actually... | 0:09:48 | 0:09:49 | |
when you've got people around you who accept you for who you are, | 0:09:49 | 0:09:54 | |
then the rest... | 0:09:54 | 0:09:56 | |
The rest can wait. | 0:09:56 | 0:09:58 | |
Aw... | 0:09:58 | 0:10:00 | |
Come here! | 0:10:00 | 0:10:02 | |
-How was that for you, Peggy, all right? -Very nice. | 0:10:02 | 0:10:06 | |
Can I get you something else? | 0:10:06 | 0:10:07 | |
-No, I won't put you to any more trouble, Pam. -Good. | 0:10:07 | 0:10:11 | |
Just a quick Baileys and I'll call it a night. | 0:10:12 | 0:10:16 | |
Tony, a drink for our guest. | 0:10:17 | 0:10:20 | |
Family first! | 0:10:20 | 0:10:22 | |
KNOCK ON DOOR | 0:10:26 | 0:10:28 | |
So...you've read it. | 0:10:34 | 0:10:38 | |
Mm-hm. | 0:10:38 | 0:10:40 | |
And...? | 0:10:40 | 0:10:42 | |
Mam...are you sure you wrote this? | 0:10:43 | 0:10:47 | |
You cheeky bugger, of course I did! | 0:10:47 | 0:10:50 | |
"Leo, I'm so happy for you. | 0:10:52 | 0:10:55 | |
-"I hope Judy will love and cherish you as I have since you were a little boy." -True. | 0:10:55 | 0:11:01 | |
"I only want the best for you. | 0:11:01 | 0:11:04 | |
"I hope you remember to clean the bath after you..." | 0:11:04 | 0:11:06 | |
Well, I know that's you. | 0:11:06 | 0:11:07 | |
"I'm your mam, and I'll always be your mam, | 0:11:08 | 0:11:12 | |
"but there comes a time when mams have to make way as the number one | 0:11:12 | 0:11:15 | |
"woman in their little boy's life, stand aside, | 0:11:15 | 0:11:18 | |
"and let someone else take their place. | 0:11:18 | 0:11:21 | |
"All my love, Mam." | 0:11:21 | 0:11:24 | |
I really do mean it. | 0:11:26 | 0:11:28 | |
Mam. | 0:11:28 | 0:11:29 | |
I don't know what to say. | 0:11:32 | 0:11:33 | |
-KNOCK ON DOOR -Ohh! | 0:11:40 | 0:11:41 | |
Give us a minute, will you, please, Judy? | 0:11:41 | 0:11:44 | |
-I'm just having a little chat with my son. -Sorry. | 0:11:44 | 0:11:46 | |
What? | 0:11:51 | 0:11:52 | |
-Pam? -Mm? | 0:11:56 | 0:11:58 | |
Oh...I can't sleep! | 0:12:00 | 0:12:03 | |
Try counting sheep. | 0:12:03 | 0:12:05 | |
No, I'm on the wrong side. | 0:12:05 | 0:12:09 | |
-Eh? -Of the bed. | 0:12:09 | 0:12:12 | |
I normally sleep on that side. | 0:12:12 | 0:12:15 | |
Yeah, well, I normally sleep with my husband, Peggy, | 0:12:15 | 0:12:17 | |
so let's just make do, eh? | 0:12:17 | 0:12:19 | |
But I won't be able to sleep! | 0:12:19 | 0:12:21 | |
SHE SIGHS | 0:12:22 | 0:12:24 | |
-Pam? -Oh, for heaven's sake! | 0:12:24 | 0:12:26 | |
Thanks. | 0:12:28 | 0:12:30 | |
Much better! | 0:12:35 | 0:12:36 | |
Pam? | 0:12:41 | 0:12:43 | |
What? | 0:12:43 | 0:12:45 | |
I normally have the radio on low, just till I drift off. | 0:12:45 | 0:12:49 | |
Pam? | 0:12:53 | 0:12:54 | |
JIMMY FARTS, CHUCKLES | 0:13:00 | 0:13:01 | |
-Jimmy, man! -Wasn't me. | 0:13:01 | 0:13:04 | |
-Promise. -It came from your direction. | 0:13:04 | 0:13:07 | |
Well, this room has really strange acoustics. | 0:13:07 | 0:13:09 | |
Acoustics, acoustics... | 0:13:09 | 0:13:12 | |
-CLATTERING JUDY: -Oh! | 0:13:12 | 0:13:14 | |
Judy? | 0:13:15 | 0:13:16 | |
I'm just getting a glass of water. | 0:13:16 | 0:13:18 | |
-How's me bed doing? -Hey, that's MY bed! | 0:13:18 | 0:13:21 | |
Well, no, I paid for it, so, technically... | 0:13:21 | 0:13:23 | |
You wasn't the only one that got evicted, Charlie. | 0:13:23 | 0:13:26 | |
-What are you doing? -Pam, for goodness' sake! | 0:13:26 | 0:13:28 | |
Judy's been kidnapped! | 0:13:28 | 0:13:30 | |
-Oh, shut up, Jimmy. -She's just getting a glass of water, Mam! | 0:13:30 | 0:13:33 | |
You've already jinxed things. | 0:13:33 | 0:13:35 | |
It'll be game over if you see each other after midnight, man. | 0:13:35 | 0:13:38 | |
-Get upstairs, man! -Ow! Agh! | 0:13:38 | 0:13:40 | |
RADIO PLAYS FAINTLY | 0:13:44 | 0:13:46 | |
PEGGY SNORES | 0:13:49 | 0:13:51 | |
Lads, since we're all awake, | 0:13:52 | 0:13:55 | |
I need to tell you something, and it's important. | 0:13:55 | 0:13:57 | |
-Is it about a hat? -It certainly is. | 0:13:57 | 0:14:01 | |
Tomorrow, when you see your mam's hat, just say, | 0:14:01 | 0:14:04 | |
"That's the best hat I've ever seen. I love it." | 0:14:04 | 0:14:08 | |
-Is it a good one? -Best ever. | 0:14:08 | 0:14:10 | |
-JIMMY FARTS Ohh! -Jimmy, man! | 0:14:14 | 0:14:16 | |
-Morning! -Morning! -Morning! | 0:14:39 | 0:14:41 | |
I'd give it a few minutes if I were you. | 0:14:43 | 0:14:45 | |
Not a problem. When you live with Leo, your nostrils adapt. | 0:14:45 | 0:14:48 | |
Eh, no cutting in! | 0:14:48 | 0:14:49 | |
I'm sorry, but... | 0:14:49 | 0:14:50 | |
It's like the deli counter in Morrisons. | 0:14:50 | 0:14:53 | |
We should have a little ticket system. | 0:14:53 | 0:14:55 | |
-And I'm number one. -And Jackie is definitely number two. | 0:14:55 | 0:14:58 | |
Leo, there's a queue. | 0:14:58 | 0:15:00 | |
Hello? It's my wedding day! | 0:15:00 | 0:15:03 | |
-Right this way, sir. -Thank you. | 0:15:04 | 0:15:06 | |
Dear God! | 0:15:08 | 0:15:11 | |
Oh, you've got to be kidding me. | 0:15:13 | 0:15:16 | |
Pamela! | 0:15:16 | 0:15:17 | |
After you. | 0:15:19 | 0:15:20 | |
Good. | 0:15:23 | 0:15:24 | |
I should think so. | 0:15:24 | 0:15:26 | |
Thank you. | 0:15:26 | 0:15:27 | |
Cue Pam, cue Pam. | 0:15:29 | 0:15:31 | |
Actually, James, I'm happy to wait. | 0:15:31 | 0:15:34 | |
No! Dad! | 0:15:34 | 0:15:36 | |
No, Dad! Please! | 0:15:36 | 0:15:38 | |
Oh... Oh! | 0:15:38 | 0:15:40 | |
-KNOCK ON DOOR -Come in! | 0:15:40 | 0:15:43 | |
-Yoo-hoo... -Oh, morning! | 0:15:43 | 0:15:45 | |
Careful with that make-up brush. | 0:15:47 | 0:15:49 | |
It's not a paint roller. | 0:15:49 | 0:15:50 | |
What, have I put too much on? | 0:15:50 | 0:15:53 | |
Well... | 0:15:53 | 0:15:54 | |
Ha-ha-ha! | 0:15:55 | 0:15:57 | |
I'm only winding you up! | 0:15:57 | 0:15:59 | |
You look gorgeous. | 0:15:59 | 0:16:00 | |
I've got something for you. | 0:16:01 | 0:16:03 | |
Oh, wow! | 0:16:06 | 0:16:08 | |
Something old. | 0:16:08 | 0:16:10 | |
Oh, Pam, that's lovely. | 0:16:11 | 0:16:14 | |
It was me mam's. | 0:16:14 | 0:16:16 | |
-Ohh! -Oh, don't wear it. It's only silver plate. | 0:16:16 | 0:16:19 | |
Your neck'll be all black and hacky by the time you get to the church. | 0:16:19 | 0:16:23 | |
Something new. | 0:16:23 | 0:16:25 | |
Sorry, I was a bit stuck on that one. | 0:16:27 | 0:16:31 | |
Something borrowed. | 0:16:31 | 0:16:34 | |
Oh, Pam, that's lovely! | 0:16:34 | 0:16:36 | |
It's mine. | 0:16:36 | 0:16:38 | |
It's vintage, so I want it back. | 0:16:38 | 0:16:41 | |
And finally, something blue. | 0:16:41 | 0:16:46 | |
-I struggled a bit with that one as well. -Thanks, Pam. | 0:16:48 | 0:16:51 | |
And Judy, you know... | 0:16:56 | 0:16:59 | |
..thank you for making Leo so happy. | 0:17:02 | 0:17:05 | |
I'd like to thank you all for coming. Erm... | 0:17:18 | 0:17:20 | |
..like to thank the beautiful bridesmaid. | 0:17:22 | 0:17:24 | |
Oh, my God! | 0:17:25 | 0:17:27 | |
-Is my thing straight? -No. | 0:17:30 | 0:17:32 | |
It is now. | 0:17:32 | 0:17:34 | |
-Tony? -Yes, love? | 0:17:35 | 0:17:37 | |
-Whose is this buttonhole? -That'll be Jimmy's. | 0:17:38 | 0:17:41 | |
-Nice hat. -Best ever! | 0:17:41 | 0:17:44 | |
Ohhh, look at the two of you! | 0:17:44 | 0:17:46 | |
Ta-da! | 0:17:46 | 0:17:48 | |
Last time I had two men come to my door as smartly dressed as this, | 0:17:48 | 0:17:52 | |
they were delivering a summons to your dad. | 0:17:52 | 0:17:54 | |
-LEO WOLF-WHISTLES -Oh, very dapper, Charlie. -Thanks. | 0:17:54 | 0:17:57 | |
Collar's a bit tight, though, and it's not very comfortable. | 0:17:57 | 0:18:00 | |
Oh, comfort's the last thing you want to be worried about. | 0:18:00 | 0:18:02 | |
Look at Tony - going to have to call the council to get that suit off him. | 0:18:02 | 0:18:06 | |
-Where are you going? -To move Peggy's car. | 0:18:06 | 0:18:08 | |
Peggy! Hi. Is it OK if I move your car? | 0:18:14 | 0:18:16 | |
-You've blocked me dad's in. -Oh, you leave that to me, love. | 0:18:16 | 0:18:20 | |
-I'll do it. -Sure. | 0:18:20 | 0:18:22 | |
-Come here. -Oh, I love your hat, Pam! | 0:18:23 | 0:18:28 | |
Is it a sombrero? | 0:18:28 | 0:18:30 | |
-Ha! -No, Peggy, it isn't. | 0:18:30 | 0:18:32 | |
Oh, never mind! I know where I'll be standing if it rains. | 0:18:32 | 0:18:36 | |
A sombrero?! | 0:18:37 | 0:18:39 | |
It's the best hat I've ever seen. | 0:18:39 | 0:18:41 | |
-Do you think? -Aye! | 0:18:41 | 0:18:43 | |
Eh... | 0:18:43 | 0:18:45 | |
Jackie! How's the bride, OK? | 0:18:45 | 0:18:48 | |
Fine, why are you asking me? | 0:18:48 | 0:18:50 | |
Because you're the bridesmaid... | 0:18:50 | 0:18:53 | |
Oh! | 0:18:53 | 0:18:54 | |
Pam, got any paracetamol? | 0:18:54 | 0:18:55 | |
-ENGINE REVS Mam! -Owww! | 0:18:55 | 0:18:58 | |
PAM WAILS | 0:18:58 | 0:19:00 | |
Owwww, me foot! | 0:19:00 | 0:19:01 | |
Oh, what happened?! | 0:19:01 | 0:19:03 | |
Get her away from me, I mean it! | 0:19:03 | 0:19:05 | |
You ran over Pam's foot! | 0:19:05 | 0:19:07 | |
Ohhhh! Agh! | 0:19:07 | 0:19:09 | |
I'm so sorry! | 0:19:09 | 0:19:11 | |
-Ugh! -I didn't see you! | 0:19:11 | 0:19:13 | |
How could you not see the hat? | 0:19:13 | 0:19:14 | |
Peggy, you are without doubt the biggest idiot I have ever met! | 0:19:14 | 0:19:18 | |
Get in the car, Pam. Take your shoe off. | 0:19:18 | 0:19:21 | |
I'll take my shoe off and hit her over the bloody head with it! | 0:19:21 | 0:19:24 | |
You're not just an idiot, you're an idiot's idiot! | 0:19:24 | 0:19:28 | |
It was an accident, Mam! Don't worry, Peggy, she doesn't mean it. | 0:19:28 | 0:19:31 | |
No, Peggy, I take it back. | 0:19:31 | 0:19:32 | |
You're a bloody liability! | 0:19:32 | 0:19:35 | |
Pam, that's enough! I'll take you up the A&E, get it sorted. | 0:19:35 | 0:19:39 | |
Thank you, Peggy, thank you very, very much(!) | 0:19:39 | 0:19:43 | |
CHURCH BELLS RING | 0:19:43 | 0:19:46 | |
SHE KNOCKS | 0:19:59 | 0:20:00 | |
Mum? | 0:20:00 | 0:20:01 | |
-SHE KNOCKS AGAIN -Mum? | 0:20:04 | 0:20:06 | |
PEGGY SOBS: Leave me alone! | 0:20:06 | 0:20:08 | |
Mum, please, will you come out of there? | 0:20:08 | 0:20:10 | |
I think it's better if I don't. | 0:20:10 | 0:20:12 | |
I've ruined your big day. | 0:20:13 | 0:20:16 | |
Oh, I'm so stupid! | 0:20:16 | 0:20:19 | |
Look, you haven't ruined anything. | 0:20:19 | 0:20:22 | |
Well, maybe Pam's foot, but I'm sure she'll be fine. | 0:20:22 | 0:20:26 | |
You go on. | 0:20:26 | 0:20:28 | |
I'll stay here. | 0:20:28 | 0:20:29 | |
Someone's left a Sudoku book in here, so I'll be all right. | 0:20:29 | 0:20:34 | |
Mum, I'm not getting married without you being there. | 0:20:34 | 0:20:38 | |
-All right? -Good to see you. | 0:21:03 | 0:21:05 | |
-All right? -Not bad. | 0:21:07 | 0:21:09 | |
-Oh, don't you look smart? -You coming on to me again? | 0:21:09 | 0:21:12 | |
Can you hear that? | 0:21:12 | 0:21:14 | |
What is it? | 0:21:14 | 0:21:16 | |
Oh, it's the sound of my tiny heart breaking. | 0:21:16 | 0:21:19 | |
PHONE RINGS | 0:21:19 | 0:21:21 | |
Two seconds. Hello? | 0:21:21 | 0:21:23 | |
Quite something, isn't it? | 0:21:23 | 0:21:25 | |
I tell you what, Wetherspoon's could do wonders with this place. | 0:21:25 | 0:21:29 | |
Spent quite a bit of time in here over the years. | 0:21:29 | 0:21:33 | |
-Yeah? -Oh, yeah. | 0:21:33 | 0:21:34 | |
The amount of pigeon shit that collects on that stained glass, | 0:21:34 | 0:21:37 | |
full-time job in itself, mate. | 0:21:37 | 0:21:40 | |
That was Dad. They're on their way. | 0:21:40 | 0:21:42 | |
He said, "Don't worry, nothing broken, except the spirit of the staff at A&E." | 0:21:42 | 0:21:46 | |
Mum, today isn't just about me. | 0:21:49 | 0:21:52 | |
It's about you as well. | 0:21:52 | 0:21:54 | |
Think of everything that we've been through together to get here. | 0:21:54 | 0:21:58 | |
Everything I've ever done, you've been there beside me, all the way. | 0:21:58 | 0:22:02 | |
So if you think I'm going to get married without you there to see it, | 0:22:03 | 0:22:07 | |
then...then you've got it all wrong. | 0:22:07 | 0:22:09 | |
Mum! | 0:22:11 | 0:22:13 | |
TEARFULLY: Leave me alone! | 0:22:13 | 0:22:14 | |
Wow! You look, erm... | 0:22:23 | 0:22:25 | |
Wow! | 0:22:25 | 0:22:26 | |
-You too, James. -Really? You think so? | 0:22:26 | 0:22:29 | |
-Yeah, you look very smart. -Well, thank you very much. | 0:22:29 | 0:22:32 | |
-Don't suppose you fancy...? -Don't push it. -Great. | 0:22:32 | 0:22:35 | |
POP MUSIC PLAYS ON TV | 0:22:37 | 0:22:40 | |
How are you getting on up there, Judy? | 0:22:40 | 0:22:43 | |
Hi. | 0:22:52 | 0:22:53 | |
I feel like a bloody yeti. | 0:22:57 | 0:22:58 | |
-You're fine. -I look ridiculous. | 0:22:58 | 0:23:00 | |
You've never looked better... from the knee up. | 0:23:00 | 0:23:03 | |
What the hell happened to you? | 0:23:03 | 0:23:04 | |
-Peggy! -She nicked your shoe? | 0:23:04 | 0:23:07 | |
Yes, Anj, she nicked me shoe | 0:23:07 | 0:23:08 | |
and I decided to replace it with a medical support boot. | 0:23:08 | 0:23:12 | |
No, man, she ran over me foot with her bloody cake van. | 0:23:12 | 0:23:15 | |
You'd think if you're wearing a flying saucer on your head, folks would see you coming. | 0:23:15 | 0:23:19 | |
-Do you fancy going back to the hospital, Tony? -No, love. -Good. Shut up. | 0:23:19 | 0:23:23 | |
Here we go. | 0:23:23 | 0:23:24 | |
-Hiya. -Hiya. -Hello, lads. | 0:23:24 | 0:23:27 | |
Any luck? | 0:23:30 | 0:23:32 | |
She won't budge. | 0:23:32 | 0:23:34 | |
I know how to deal with her when she's like this. Let me. | 0:23:34 | 0:23:38 | |
Mum? | 0:23:41 | 0:23:42 | |
Oh... | 0:23:47 | 0:23:49 | |
-Where the hell's Judy? -She's on her way. | 0:23:50 | 0:23:52 | |
-You said that 12 seconds ago! -Chill, bro. It'll be fine. | 0:23:52 | 0:23:56 | |
-Hey, and if not, you've got a great "I was jilted on my wedding day" story. -Mm. | 0:23:56 | 0:23:59 | |
God, this is now officially a total disaster. | 0:23:59 | 0:24:01 | |
What am I going to tell everyone - "She's not coming"?! | 0:24:01 | 0:24:04 | |
We'll just slip out the back. We don't need to say a word. | 0:24:04 | 0:24:06 | |
Any second now, she's going to walk through that door. | 0:24:06 | 0:24:09 | |
DOOR OPENS | 0:24:09 | 0:24:11 | |
-Who's that? -Who cares?! | 0:24:15 | 0:24:16 | |
It isn't Judy, is it? Sorry. | 0:24:16 | 0:24:18 | |
Never thought I'd be so happy to see Jackie. | 0:24:22 | 0:24:25 | |
She's coming... Hit it! | 0:24:25 | 0:24:27 | |
Agh! | 0:24:27 | 0:24:28 | |
-What's that for? -The music, numb-nut! | 0:24:32 | 0:24:34 | |
-HE GASPS Don't tell me... -Just kidding! | 0:24:34 | 0:24:37 | |
Prick! | 0:24:37 | 0:24:38 | |
Battery's dead. You got any? | 0:24:45 | 0:24:47 | |
Yeah, just in my pocket, just a second. | 0:24:47 | 0:24:49 | |
-Oh, no, wait a minute, they must have FALLEN OUT! -Ssh! | 0:24:49 | 0:24:52 | |
-Do we even need music? -Yes, Jimmy! | 0:24:58 | 0:25:00 | |
What's the hold-up? | 0:25:01 | 0:25:03 | |
-No music! -What, no music at all? | 0:25:03 | 0:25:06 | |
Jesus Christ! | 0:25:06 | 0:25:09 | |
Sorry! | 0:25:09 | 0:25:10 | |
All rise. | 0:25:12 | 0:25:14 | |
You owe me big time. | 0:25:18 | 0:25:20 | |
# I may not always love you | 0:25:23 | 0:25:27 | |
# But long as there are stars above you | 0:25:27 | 0:25:31 | |
-BOTH: -# You never need to doubt it | 0:25:31 | 0:25:36 | |
BEACH BOYS: # I'll make you so sure about it | 0:25:36 | 0:25:40 | |
# God only knows what I'd be without you | 0:25:40 | 0:25:46 | |
# If you should ever leave me | 0:25:48 | 0:25:52 | |
# Well, life would still go on, believe me | 0:25:52 | 0:25:57 | |
# The world could show nothing to me | 0:25:57 | 0:26:01 | |
# So what good would living do me? | 0:26:01 | 0:26:05 | |
# God only knows what I'd be without you | 0:26:05 | 0:26:12 | |
# God only knows what I'd be without you | 0:26:14 | 0:26:19 | |
# God only knows what I'd be without you | 0:26:19 | 0:26:23 | |
# God only knows what I'd be without you | 0:26:23 | 0:26:26 | |
# God only knows what I'd be without you | 0:26:26 | 0:26:29 | |
# God only knows | 0:26:29 | 0:26:30 | |
# God only knows what I'd be without you | 0:26:30 | 0:26:34 | |
# God only knows what I'd be without you | 0:26:34 | 0:26:36 | |
# God only knows | 0:26:36 | 0:26:38 | |
# God only knows what I'd be without you | 0:26:38 | 0:26:42 | |
# God only knows what I'd be without you... # | 0:26:42 | 0:26:46 | |
WHOOPING AND APPLAUSE | 0:26:46 | 0:26:48 | |
Please be seated. | 0:26:57 | 0:26:58 | |
# Meet me on the corner when the lights are coming on | 0:27:03 | 0:27:07 | |
# And I'll be there | 0:27:07 | 0:27:09 | |
# I promise I'll be there | 0:27:09 | 0:27:11 | |
# Down the empty streets, we'll disappear into the dawn | 0:27:13 | 0:27:17 | |
# If you have dreams enough to sha-a-a-are. # | 0:27:17 | 0:27:27 |