Episode 2 Common Sense

Great Britain. Struggling to cope, a major alert in

almost half of all NHS trusts in England. People in corridors on

trolleys, in queues. Land of Hope and Glory.

Freezing weather is causing disruption across much of the UK

with snow showers and strong winds. Last night we had our first bit of

snow in the winter, all over the place, it's snowing in Britain, it's

snowing in Croydon. If we never had the weather British

people wouldn't have anything to talk about. Where change is afoot.

If it doesn't suit them they're going to blame Brexit. If it's

raining, it's because we're in Brexit, got a cold, that's it,

because we're in Brexit. The news and views of everyday folk collide.

Americans are in the incredible position nine days before the

inauguration of having to decide whether their President elect is a

Russian agent of influence. It's all fake news, it's only stuff, it

didn't happen. They say he's very charismatic. Quiet! Quiet! Go ahead,

she is asking a question, don't be rude. But then again, Hitler was,

wasn't he? What I'm proposing cannot mean membership of the Single

Market. That speech, she is not so maybe anymore, is she? I don't think

she would call that hard, that is hard, hard, isn't it? Now the voices

of reason get their say. Labour is falling apart under Corbyn. He wants

us to get rid of Trident, he wants us to get rid of all that and sit

round a big baby table and sing come by our. And bring some common sense

to what's happened this week. Good friends Jonathan and Jonny are

from Darlington. They both work in a supermarket and love a pint and a

game of dominoes. If you look down here they have a step they have to

put their foot against to get a good grip because you can't pull these

down, you've got to properly yank it down. Alice, Sheila and Phyllis go

twice a week to keep fit in pole. They love nothing more than a slice

of cake and a cup of tea. Do you put your milk in first or after? I

always put the milk in first. I often put evaporated milk in. I love

that. I maybe shouldn't. I think at my age it doesn't really matter.

Exactly. This week has been a very busy one

for President-elect Donald Trump. The media coverage has been

extensive. Mr Trump always has his hands like that. Like that, yes.

Whether sharing his thoughts on Anglo-American relations post the

referendum. Donald Trump has proposed a quick trade deal with

Britain after becomes President. Or defending himself against explosive

allegations. Donald Trump has gone on the attack against his own

intelligence agencies. He responds with anger to claims that Russia has

obtained compromising information about him and his links to President

Putin. Documents appear to claim Russia had secretly filmed him for

later use as blackmail. Released by maybe the intelligence agencies. Who

knows? One makes salacious claims about Trump's salacious Dimeck

alleged use of prostitutes and the FSB had arranged to monitor them.

Does anybody really believe that story? I'm also very much a

germophobe, by the way,. The ludicrous accusation in this

document is that Donald Trump in the grand suite of a Moscow hotel which

he must have known was bugged would pay prostitutes to urinate on him.

That is the measure of this filthy little document. Even if this is

true, it's just embarrassing for him. He's not bothered, is he? They

could release the footage on CNN and all Trump's organisation would say

is... It's fake news, it's phoney. He likes that word. That really does

look like you. And I would like to congratulate these... It's very

good. It's very good, it looks like me. The Russians say it is nothing

to do with them. What do you think? They don't admit to anything, they

deny everything. I think as long as they can get something on somebody.

I think I know what you mean, yes. Yes.

If there was a video do you think the Russians would have absolute

control? Totally. That's if Trump plays the game right. So it's going

to be literally, Trump would be his biatch. Putin's biatch. That is what

they do, they get people into compromising situations and then

blackmail them, don't they? Yes. It's been going on for years. I

think it's going to be another Nixon and he will step down. Do you think

he will? He will get his presidency and he will step down. Whereas they

had the Watergate, this could be the water bed. He could get impeached

for this. He could make Nixon... They could make Watergate look like

a tea party. The only grounds could be. If it was criminal activity.

Only if he was under the influence of the Russians, but there is no

evidence of that at all, they are just wild accusations from his

enemies. What they have got to do is show us more evidence. They can't

just say he has done this. If they have no proof, look what they did to

Cliff Richard. It doesn't matter what comes out. He could be in bed

with anything or everything. Is it going to make any difference? He is

President-elect. Anything that's come out, do you think it's going to

make any difference? He's Donald Trump. Granted, a twit but...

Somebody is trying to bring him down with these sex romps. Year.

Definitely, I think they are. And before he's even President. Nobody

has given him a chance. Not even a sniff. He's not even been in office

and people are chatting shit about him already, he's had a bad week,

hasn't he? He's had a bad week. Dawn and Mick got married 30 years

ago. They work side-by-side as butchers in their family business in

Birmingham. You have me working hard, Mick. The blessings of God.

Noreen and hurt son hourly work in a family run newsagent in Edinburgh.

Ali is the eldest of her three children. What is this headline

about? Do we actually sell this? -- headlight. We have sold three. Have

we? This week the papers and Internet

reported the terrible news that another of our favourite sweet

treats was to be downsized due to the falling pound. Check this out,

mum. Brexit is after our French Fancies. Mr Kipling is to replace

its box of nine cake slices with a smaller pack of eight. Everything's

getting smaller, isn't it? There will be nothing left. Will you

suffer? Of course I will suffer, if I've got nine cakes and I will go

down to eight, I'm going to suffer. Imagine if you have ten kids and

there is only nine cakes in the box, it means you have to buy two boxes

to please the kids. That's OK. Of course it isn't, what do you do with

the rest? You either rest and put on weight. I hope they don't cut down

on the Viennese waltz. The fall in the value of the pound following the

vote for independence. Another reason we should stay, Mr Kipling

makes exceedingly small cakes. I quite like the chocolate fancies.

With Brexit and all these other excuses, sugar has never been so

cheap, bags of sugar for 39p. You cannot tell me he is putting sugar

in his cakes. He might use agave. Do you remember buying 1p sweets and

now they are 5p and 10p and that is not Brexit's fault. Do you remember

Fred ons and Chump, they used to be massive and now they are tiny and in

sheep packaging. It is just inflation. It cannot be Brexit's

fault. It feels like they are blaming Brexit for everything. If I

could put my price up I would do, you look for any excuse. They have

given them a great excuse with Brexit. Yes. Let's see how far you

can get the ball Bill. Not a bad shot, Sunshine. If it doesn't suit

them they will blame Brexit. If it's raining, it's because we are in

Brexit. Look, look at that, it's because of Brexit, I've got a cold,

that's it, because of Brexit. I thought it was raining heavily the

other day and I thought this lasted Brexit, why couldn't we have voted

to stay in and it would be sunshine all the time. Wall-to-wall sunshine,

Scott Shearer. What about the toilet roll? What about them? They have

gone from 220 down to 200 sheets. How many people do you know have

looked at a toilet roll, stuck them in the toilet and realised they are

20 sheets short. But I've noticed. You have? Yes I have. Unless they

told you I wouldn't have a clue, if you stuck that toilet roll in the

toilet roll holder and told me there where 20 sheets less I wouldn't have

a fecking clue. That's because you used 20 in one go. If you have an

entirely pink bathroom and green toilet roll. It makes me laugh,

saying I will have to leave it, you can only leave it for so long,

Cardew? How long were you planning on leaving it? Wait a minute.

Toblerone is Swiss. Why are Toblerone is reduced? They are not

in the European Union. Never mind leaving, they didn't join. The gap

between the triangles is getting bigger and bigger. Why would that be

Brexit's fault? This was just follow suit, don't they? Frank and Davie

run market stalls in the East End of London. They've been friends for 25

years. The blue top, it is for a child, 5-6 years. I do apologise.

What do you want? Just a side. It yesterday in Theresa May's much

anticipated Brexit speech is made her stance on future trade with

Europe. What I am proposing cannot mean membership of this and will

market. On taking control of our borders. We will get control of the

number of people coming to Britain from the EU. And on making our own

laws. Leaving the European Union will mean that our laws will be made

at Westminster, Edinburgh, Cardiff and Belfast.

She said, you know, we will leave the Single Market and we will be

able to put a curb on immigration. What a mistake. If we come out of

the Single Market, the cost of import is going to go sky high, and

who is going to suffer? Us. When she talks in Prime Minister's Question

Time she can be a little patronising, there is an undertone.

She is very much like Thatcher but she reminds me of Gordon Brown. She

pulls faces like Gordon Brown, Gordon Brown used to say something

and then go like that... She does the same, she pulls a face but I

love it when she focuses on an issue. Do you remember the first one

and she went, remind you of anyone and she looked about. I was

intimidated and I was only watching on telly. She's got a job she

probably doesn't even want to do so she must be finding it hard. I'm not

defending her. In a sense I probably am. But she must find it difficult.

Of course she's going to find it hard because she wanted to remain.

She seems to be determined now, don't you think? Well, there are

some people who believe in what they're doing, if they take a job on

they do the job. Yes. They don't try and scupper it. No, she will not try

and fudge it them? No, I think she will do her job. She wants to be

remembered for doing the job. Only time will tell, it will be the test

of time if she has negotiated the best deal. Three years from now we

will see. Nobody can forecast what will happen. Three years from now

everyone will be sorry they voted for Brexit, trust me on that. The

thing is, the public, including us, are frustrated because we can't

criticise ourselves. Even though we're not happy about leading the

Single Market and we're not completely happy about leaving

Europe we can't blame anyone, it's us. We like to blame the

politicians, we like to save look what they've done, we want to be up

in arms but we can't. I tell you what Theresa may need more than

anything else. Mandelson. We are all believers really when we think about

it -- Leavers. We have been forced into it. We haven't been forced into

it. We voted. Yes, and everybody that wanted to remain. We haven't

been forced into it. We have. The vote didn't go our way. For feck's

sake, the vote went wrong. Who would have thought it would be so

difficult to leave. Things are difficult. That's life, though,

isn't it. I'm picking another domino. I've got loads.

Christine and Winnifred had been friends for 30 years. They live in

Leeds. They share a passion for the church and cooking West Indian food.

There are only three things I would not eat. A dog, cat and a monkey.

No. Go on them. Look at that. This week, Joseph Fiennes was at the

centre of a Twitter storm that sparked a press frenzy. A

controversial TV show where he portrayed Michael Jackson was pulled

at outrage from the singer's family. Paris Jackson is curious that her

dad, who is definitely black, is being played by Joseph wines, who is

definitely right. -- Joseph Fiennes. It is about a rumoured road trip

that Michael Jackson is alleged to have taken with Marlon Brando and

Elizabeth Taylor. That would have been a great film, that. It's a

shame. She said that she was so incredibly offended by it, and it

honestly makes me want to vomit. Is that what Paris said? It makes want

to vomit? She is obviously upset about it all. Michael Jackson almost

looks as white as that man that is playing him, so what is the problem?

It is only because we know that he started off black. You cannot argue

with Paris because that is his daughter and she says she is

offended, but you have to think, well, we all know Michael Jackson

was white. Michael Jackson is black. He started out black. Didn't see?

But he wasn't born white. He was born black. So she has every right

to kick up a fuss. Off the wall, he was black. But by Thriller, he was

Ashley Cole. Then by Bad, he was like... Ben Affleck. Even whiter.

Casper? Yeah. I saw the picture of Joseph Fiennes, who is going to play

the part. I don't think he looks a bit like Michael Jackson. I don't

think so. He must've been good to get that part, when he did that

audition. Probably dancing, because Michael Jackson could move. I think

he must have been a good mover and a good singer. If you want to play

someone that is dead, pretty much the most iconic entertainer that has

ever lived, bar none... Elvis Presley? I think Michael Jackson

beaten, to be honest. Maybe. You have got to be sensitive,

considering the controversy around him, you have to be sensitive to you

portrayed. Did you like Michael Jackson, Phyllis? I did. I used to

watch him on television. He certainly could move, couldn't see?

I thought he was talented. I remember him when he first came

here, he was only a little boy. He was Bonnie. He is a legend, isn't

he? We will never see another Michael Jackson again, will we?

Never, ever again. Ed Sheeran, in four years, he will be gone. Who is

that ging. Brandon and Tony are Vietnamese nail technicians. They

work in their brother's nail salon. I look good for 30. I look smashing.

I have got a good head of hair. Some people would die for this. There was

an extraordinary story reported by the mirror this week about a

100-year-old woman who had never the Isle of Man. I wouldn't like to live

to 100 years, would you? Yeah. Me 101 and you 100. That's impossible

because you're too and years older than me anyway. Imagine not seeing

anything, like she wouldn't have seen Buckingham Palace, the Tower of

London, the NEC in Birmingham, the big wheels. The German market. She

would have experienced nothing like that. But how often do you go down

to the NEC? No, but I've been there. And I'm not a hundred, by the way. I

might look it, but I'm not. Well, you haven't been there that often

and it's on your doorstep. So for her to think, I'm going to the NEC,

big deal. Have you travelled around England? I've seen a fair bit of

England. I've seen a lot of it. Have you been to Scotland? I've never

been to Scotland, have you? No. I've never been to the Isle of Man. I've

never been to the Isle of Man, but I've been to the Isle of Wight.

That's where they have the TT races. I don't suppose there's much else

there. Do they have their own currency? I think they do. I've seen

one. Someone paid. In the Isle of Man? It's the same value. It's got

the Queen's head but it's the Isle of Man. It's got three legs, hasn't

it? Let's talk about the cats. The cats? The cats have no tales. Are

you talking about legs? Legs? Is it the Isle of Man that has the Manx

cats? It is, isn't it? Without a tail? That's right. My dad had one

of them for years. A cat with no tail. If you cut a tale of any cat,

you will have one. If you cut a tale of a cat, you don't get a Manx cat,

it is specially bred. Are they still part of the UK? I swear they are.

It's like Jersey, isn't it? They have their own thing but whenever

they need us, yeah, yeah we still got the Queen. Francis and father

David met in the 70s when they were both ordnance in the Anglican free

stood. Although Frances left to pursue a career in journalism, they

catch up regularly over a glass of claret. This week, the BBC reported

more bad news for Labour. Tristram Hunt is resigning. With the

departure of one of the party's high-profile shadow ministers.

Triggering a by-election in his Stoke constituency, an area that

voted for Brexit and for Ukip came second in the election. The papers

ran with headlines that suggested Ukip may try to capitalise on the

opportunity. Tristram Hunt has left, fundamentally, because he feels he

has are brighter future away from Jeremy Corbyn and the Labour Party.

We are confident that there is a large number of voters that will

feel exactly the same way in the constituency. Labour must be

petrified. To right they are. Did you see he tweeted his resignation

letter, which seems to be the trend now. He tweeted it and said, he's

going to follow his passion for history and the arts. He just

changed his mind and decided he wants to work in a museum? That's

mad, isn't it? From an MP to working in a museum. That's like us quitting

this job here and working in a zoo. All these politicians, they are bit

arty 40 anyway. If the Victoria and Albert Museum has offered this guy a

job, he thinks, well, what is named? Tristram Hunt? Tristram Hunt. He

sounds like ponds anyway, doesn't he? It's a posh name. Tristram Hunt

and the Victoria and Albert Museum, they go hand-in-hand. Tristram Hunt,

I never liked the name Tristram. It's not Tristram, it's Tristram.

You have to make an effort to say it. Does the Ukip party connector

you? I bloody hope not. Obviously they have some good points. You

can't deny that, can you? You can't be the first Oriental Ukip

supporter. Why do they have a by-election, why does it not just go

to the next highest result? Which is Ukip, only by 33 votes over the

Tories, by the way, so it would go to Ukip, as a Ukip seat. Why do they

have to have a by-election because technically they voted for that

person second. But politics is progressive so that might not be how

people feel now. It would save a lot of money. Maybe put that money into

the NHS, the money we spend on by-elections. They do not need any

more money. All right, chorizo. -- all right, Theresa May. Stan and

Billy have known each other since they were 11. Twice a week, they

meet for a round of golf. What are they shot that was. Just when I said

I was improving a bit. -- what a rubbish shot that was. There was an

interesting article in the Observer and online this week. Nipples.

Highlighting recent 30% rise in request for nipple reduction

surgery. Have you got little nibbles? You've got little nothing.

A lot of women are thinking their nipples are too big so they want

them reduced. I thought it was their breasts they wanted reducing. They

are happy with the breasts, but now they want DDs to be like Cs. I can

see the benefit of having your nipples reduced. What benefit is it?

They must be short of work. Everyone has had everything done, their eyes,

their ears, their knees. And then all of a sudden you need small

nipples. Extraordinary, isn't it. Not really, because there is no

accounting for taste these days. But it has always been the same. There

was a time when big nipples seemed to be the thing. But for ladies with

big nipples, that stick out through their clothes, and it is

embarrassing. They can't get it to go down. And when it is cold, it is

even worse. How do you know? Because you can see it. It is even worse

when you are called. The nipples are an erogenous zone, so if you cut it

down, or do surgery on it, they lose sensitivity. They might do. I bet it

is painful. I wouldn't have nothing done. Have you had any plastic

surgery? Do you know what, don't laugh. But I have. Where have you

had plastic surgery? Being of my faith, I used to have a very hooked

nose. Don't laugh. And my ears stuck out, so I went into the London

clinic in the West End, bless my father, his dear soul, and I had my

nose reshaped. Is that the best they could come up with? Why are women

doing all of this? Insecurity, isn't it? But why are they so insecure? I

would go, listen, babe, I love you, don't change for me. And that's the

God untruth. -- the God dam truth. I think they should do a survey with

men because men know what they want in a Lady's body, more than anybody

else. If they approach the men, there are some men that will like

them and some men that will not. I would like to find out who started

this craze and who has had this nipple reduction. It will come out

in the wash, want it? Hello, lovely. Two work, coming up. It has been cut

this morning. -- two pork.