Comedy series voiced by Ruth Jones. A cast of real British people discuss the news of the week, including Trump's inauguration, stress sex and the Brexit Supreme Court ruling.
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Great Britain. Boris Johnson comes under attack for appearing to
compare the French government to the Nazis. The world is laughing at us
with him being Foreign Minister. They are laughing at us. Of all the
people to have that role, you might as well give it to Honey G. This
week, the world's news was astonishing. Donald Trump is
president of the United States. This is your day, your celebration. This,
the United States of America, is your country. From debate, to
division product to disturbances on the streets. I think all the
Americans think, what the hell? Theresa May says she has absolute
faith in Britain's nuclear deterrent despite claims of a test firing
going wrong. The Sunday Times says an unarmed rocket veered in the
direction of the United States. The Prime Minister declined to say
whether she knew of the incident. Is she did know it, why didn't she tell
us? Apparently she was asked about four times. Now, the voices of
reason get their say. First night in the White House got awkward. You
know why Chris Ray does not anyone. Don't trust touch me, don't Kiss me.
They might even sleep in separate rooms. Can't be caught having the
key on camera. What if that goes viral? And bring some common sense
to what has been occurring this week.
Have you had your haircut? It does look nice. When it is shorter, it is
easier to manage. Alice, Sheila and Phyllis are keen keep fitters. They
have 20 grandchildren and 28 great-grandchildren. I had a Westie
and she was 12. Called Cassie. I still weep over that dog. This is
like a shortcake. This week, the media reported on a day that
signalled real change as all eyes were on America. Donald Trump takes
his oath of office and is now the 45th president of the United States.
In a blunt and outspoken speech when he said power will be returned to
the people and his priority was clear. You came by the tens of
millions to become part of an historic movement, the likes of
which the world has never seen before. There was nobody there. What
is that white for? That is called empty. We will bring back our jobs.
We will bring back our borders. We will bring back our wealth. And we
will bring back our dreams. Trump's inauguration and the size of the
crowd in attendance dominated. -- dominated the national press. There
were stately images across the front pages. America first. First. It's
like a weird dream. From where it started, and that is it. He is in.
Told you. Nobody can do anything about it now. When Trump was making
his speech, and he was making comments about the gracious of
banners -- Obamas and Michelle. He did not mean it. All of a sudden
went to big him up. I can imagine Mr Obama may be thinking, yes, you
2-faced son of a camel. When the jobs don't start coming forward...
They are not going to come, are they? Brighter mend than him have
tried it. You cannot lead by bullying. That is what he is trying
to do. When you do start, it is a dictatorship. He is an elitist. He
is not. The elitist had a face on them at the inauguration. Those
elite you are talking about are the elitist. If they were elitist, they
would not be unhappy. He built casinos and hotels. He is a
billionaire put that he said he was going to grab women by who knows
where. The word you are looking for is successful. The elites form
presidents. They are like Hillary Clinton who feel it is a divine
right to be the next president or in office. They are the elitists. They
were unhappy that Donald Trump was on board because he is not one of
them. You have George Bush thinking, thank God for this. Someone bigger
than me is in the position. No one ever thought that someone thicker
than George Bush would get in. He was a bit thick, wasn't he? It
must've been an ordeal for Clinton to be there, losing to him. She did
not look happy at all. She is going to an event to celebrate a job she
did not get and the person closest to her, to reassure her and tell it
will be OK if a person who has already have that job. She must be
thinking, where can I go? Do you know what I mean? He has got the job
and I want the job. I do not think it will affect our lives, do you?
No. I think Donald Trump will make a bloody good president. He will turn
the tables. He will perform miracles. He is a businessman and he
will run the country like a business. Do not forget he shafted a
lot of people in his business. America has such a massive
immigration issue. I went to New York. I stood at the border. There
was a border control agents that behind a desk. He said, is it
business or pleasure? He said, when are you leaving? I said, the 3rd of
January. He said, make sure you do. Make sure you do. That was my
welcome to America. When are you leaving? Make sure you do. And she
and husband Jerry run dry cleaners in Glasgow. What is on the agenda
tomorrow? Up in the morning and straight to work. Past customers
have included Robbie Williams, Elton John, and even Pavarotti. I don't
know who's that is. Ticket number 81 25. Are you sure it is not your
mother's? This week the papers and social media reported the results of
an eye opening seven which revealed how different the men and women deal
with stress. Women raid the biscuit tin and men are more likely to have
sex or watch pornography. Sex to cope with stress while women eat,
research finds. Hashed tag LOL. Do you ever get stressed? I do get
stressed, actually. Tell me anybody you does not get stressed but you're
joking. I never get stressed. Do you believe it could be true that when
men get stressed doing they need more sex? I'm sure it could be true.
I think it could be as well. That's all men think about, isn't it?
That's just men doing what men want to do nothing to do with stress. Do
think that is meant's answer to everything, sex? No, it is not. It
is a great help. Everyone gets stressed to a certain amount. I get
stressed in queues at the airport. I get stressed. I do. I am not going
say to Doreen, let's find a place round the back. When I stressed, I
clean the house and do the floors. Just clean. And then have cups of
tea. I have actually seen myself in here getting so stressed out. I'll
have a cup of tea and maybe I'll go out and buy the cheese and onion
toastie. Then I'll come back in and have a packet of McCoys crisps. Then
come back out and have another cup of tea but this is me getting
stressed. This is the first time I have actually spoke about it. I am a
comfort eater. I look after myself. You wouldn't tell. I am a comfort
eater. What do you eat when you are stressed? I know you eat. Would you
eat anything that is in the fridge? You like chocolate cakes, don't you?
Just the cakes. Yeah, the new ones. The spongy ones. I'd just get a good
book and sit and read if I feel a bit off. There we are then. Do you
like the romance? That is your sex taken care of. All the fiction
books. Do you talk to your girlfriends and
things? Not about sex. Oh, gosh. We talk about all sorts. Don't you talk
to your girlfriends about that? I said, no. We all love nookie. My mum
says nookie. Why do you say Mickey? It is just polite. Hey, do you want
Nikita Knight? My mum said, leg over. --
nookie tonight. I did not know what leg over meant. I do like a Victoria
sponge, an old-fashioned Victoria sponge. Francis and father David
have been friends for over 40 years. Francis owns Rolls-Royce and takes
tea at the Ritz most Saturdays. This wine is a 2011 cabernet Sauvignon
from Washington State. To be honest, it is too peppery and it is too
young. I say it is too young. Yesterday in London the news was
then. The decision was made on the future of Brexit. The Government
loses its appeal at the Supreme Court. Only Parliament has the power
to trigger the Brexit process. Theresa May has lost. The power is
in her hands and they can make her sweat. The Supreme Court rules that
the Government cannot trigger Article 50 without an act of
Parliament authorising it to so do. You have to get everyone in
Parliament to do that. They do not like work, D-Day, these MPs. -- do
they. That was a waste of time for Theresa May. You are right. We will
give all the MPs the opportunity to vote on when to trigger it. She has
got the majority. She could have been honest. The boat is irrelevant.
I am the Government and all these people behind me, my MPs club going
to vote as I say. They did not say this in the first place. They did
not know what Article 50 was. That is a stumbling block before we go
any further. We understand what you are saying. Pass the tape machine,
will you? Do you think Mrs May should be able to get on with the
process without Parliament interfering or should Parliament
interfere all the way through? We elect representatives to represent
us in Parliament and they must check on executive. Theresa May is
behaving like a tyrant. It has gone tips up for Theresa May. I bet she
is kicking herself. I bet she is having a tub of ice cream right now.
It is not an easy life, this game, any more. Have you seen this?
NARRATOR: This week there will work reports that three times Olivier
award winner Patrick Stewart was to star in a new film. What is he
playing? Anna May Oji -- a emoji. And I said, I am melting here, this
is such load of... Oh, go ahead, finish that sentence. It isn't just
him, there are other actors as well. All talking poos? Know, some are
other things. I can't believe it. I can't believe it, he must be hard up
at home, he must be short of money. The guys educated, he is a top film
star, he is not any silly little man, he has made his money, maybe
this doesn't bother him, like it would bother some people, would it
bother you to become a star and then all of a sudden become a little
poos? So, a bunch of emojis come to life and they are running about in a
phone, phone is only small, how much can they run about? I know. Give
them credit, how do you make a film out of that? You would run out of
ideas. I said, have you seen this film about the to? Is it Peter pooh?
When is this film coming out. I think they are just making it. I
will go, and I will treat you. And I will put on the phone, meet me
at the movies. And we will go and see The Emoji Movie. And when I
don't turn up, you will know I haven't understood it! What do you
do with that emoji? I just send it to my mum. You know, I'm all right,
fist bump. How many times do you do that? You know, the emoji fist pump!
She will understand it. Jonathan and Jonny were made to school and have
been assessed with playing dominoes. Do you want to do grabber granny?
Jonny works in the supermarket, and his team leader for dry goods. I am
so single. I am the most single man. And then you watch Jeremy Kyle in
the morning, and there is a lad that comes out, and he hasn't had a bath
the six weeks, and he has about six of them on the go, and I think, what
is wrong? That is written all over. I don't know what it is. Yours is
your attitude. NARRATOR: This week, the newspapers
were crammed with reports that the CIA have been made to release
classified historic documents. The records range from intelligence
briefings and research papers to reports on a flying saucers and
recipes for invisible ink. The Telegraph told us how one document
from 1973 revealed they had tested psychic spoon bender Uri Geller in
the hope that they could used his powers. One test was a person
drawing a picture in one room such as this, and then Uri Geller would
draw a picture himself in another room. Telekinesis. The CIA put two
men in a room, they put Uri Geller in another room, and they said to
Uri Geller, can you figure out what these two guys are drawing? And V
Stu CIA men drew a picture of the fruit, I think it was a bunch of
blackcurrant grapes. He got that picture almost identical to what
they had done. He is good. Who is Uri Geller? He is a kind of psychic
person. He can use the power of the mind to bend spoons, he is a spoon
seems to be rather minimal, doesn't it? If people had bent spoons and he
could straighten them, that would be far more useful! If you concentrate
on a spoon, really concentrate, and your mind concentrates on it, the
spoon can bend. I have seen it on television. There you go. And I have
also seen him make a Scottish football player miss a penalty
against single. He was in a helicopter above Wembley. He made
the ball move. I once saw him in an airport, you know. He got a spoon
from the airport cafeteria, antidepressant it. We saw him do it.
What struck me about him mostly, he is so painfully thin. Uri Geller,
obviously, he must be loving every minute of this. He is back in the
limelight, back in the news, the CIA must be going off their head. Was it
Nixon's time all of that? I suppose so, seventies. And he was a bit
wacky, wasn't he? The height of the Cold War, where the president is a
little nervous about what the Russians are doing, someone comes in
and says, we have got this under control, oh great. You know Uri
Geller off the telly, we have got him on board, the one that can bend
spoons. You are filling me with confidence now! I wouldn't trust him
to open a bottle of -- box of matches. On the outrage to suggest
that that is no good. I am Team Donald after that, if they are
relying on Uri Geller to save the world, then Donald Trump is right.
NARRATOR: Brandon and Tony are second cousins and workers nail
technicians. Tony loves Justin Bieber and Liverpool football club.
How can you one week beat Manchester city and then lose to Swansea at
home? That is daft. What are you reading? Just reading about Boris,
he is on a motorbike. This week, the press had a field day with our
Foreign Secretary, with one paper mockingly showing him as Steve
McQueen in the Great Escape. Boris Johnson is on the front of many of
this morning's papers. Dear old Boris. This followed comments he
made accusing some European leaders wanted to punish the EU. Boris
Johnson under attack for appearing to compare the French Government to
the Nazis for those. If Mr Hollande wants to offer punishment beatings
to anyone who wants to escape in the manner of some World War II movie...
I thought when he became Foreign Secretary, it might shut him up, but
it hasn't. The other thing he has, he has used the word, you know,
escape from the EU. Like we are escaping something. Even I can find
a better word than that. Just to leave his find. Just give us our own
space, it's not escape, like some prison, do you know what I mean?
Boris Johnson has got a point about the French. You know he is right
about Brexit, pulling out, all that, but to come across with that
statement is beyond me, don't you think so? Maybe he shouldn't have
said it, but I don't make him wrong for saying it. This rail? ?25. You
never know what is happening behind closed doors, she might want to get
that message out, so she has to send the poster boy, the carrier pigeon.
He doesn't care. And he turns up with his rucksack to negotiate
Brexit. That is him, a well educated man, and eating boy. It Eton, not
eating. That's what I said! No, you didn't. Well, he is Eton educated,
and he comes out with these gaffes. The French are still touchy about
being occupied, word they? If you are saying that about the French
Prime Minister, what will you say about when he is? Imagine saying it
about the German Prime Minister, that would be even worse, wouldn't
it? Move that paper. Donald Trump's press domination continued this week
with his first order of business as president being to wage war on the
media. You know I have a running war with the media. They are among the
most dishonest human beings on earth. It is all ticket off already.
What the president is in a rage about our suggestions that the
crowds we were not as big as they were for Barack Obama eight years
ago, even though the evidence is controverted bull, as these two
photos, each taken 45 minutes before the inauguration started, made
plain. Mr Trump's spokesman Sean Spicer has clashed with reporters at
his first White House briefing. Photographs were intentionally
framed in a way to minimise the enormous support that had gathered
on the national maul. This was the largest audience to ever witness and
inauguration, period. There has been a lot of talk in the media about the
responsibility to hold Donald Trump accountable, and it goes two ways.
We will hold the press accountable as well.
NARRATOR: Thankfully, an extraordinary interview cleared up
the whole matter. USA it is a falsehood, and they are giving our
press secretary, he gave alternative factor that. Wait. Alternative
facts? ! I think it went well, biggest turnout ever. That is an
alternative fact there! It makes it look really desperate,
to send your press secretary out despite of how many was there. He's
just a deadline and aggressive, I know it is not believable, but if
you don't believe me, I will punch you, so just believe me! There was
loads of people there! What they should have done is inaugurated
through Twitter, because he has more followers through that. He looked
pretty mad, Sean Spicer. I'm surprised you didn't throw things at
people. All he had to do was just go out and say, I know you are
interested about the viewing figures for the inauguration yesterday, we
are not going to talk about them, but what we will talk about is the
fact that he won the majority of the electoral college votes, and now he
is our president, and that is a great thing for America. And
together, we will make America great again. I then walk out! He will go
on like this. It is smoke and mirrors, what do you believe?
Everyday, explaining how the press have got it wrong, how Mr Trump has
got it right. The proper terminology is it is not a lie, it is an
alternative fact! That shows you that they think the public is
stupid. Don't you think it is quite alarming now that the President's
spokesperson now needs a spokesperson? The first day there,
word as he had for? The CIA office. Never been done by any other
president, but has always been months ahead. Do you remember the
way he slated the CIA? That's a guy who speaks with a forked tongue. 180
degrees turn on him, now they are the best thing since sliced bread.
Somebody just switches. As I said before, he has to get on their side.
He cannot be opposed to the CIA. He has realised, look where I am. All I
have been saying. But that just shows you what he is. What is he? A
2-faced liar. To break someone physically... Agh!
..is not a problem. Nectar of the gods, I'm telling you.
Thank you, Colonel.
Fast turnaround comedy series voiced by Gavin & Stacey's Ruth Jones. It features a regular cast of real British people, chosen for their sharp wit and humorous take on life, all discussing the news from that week - from major breaking stories to the most bizarre headlines.
Amongst the cast are a couple of East End market traders, dinner ladies from Leeds, Mancunian male nail technicians, Brummie butchers, Scottish launderette owners, supermarket co-workers and three great-grandmothers from Hull.
Topics include Trump's inauguration and first day in office, stress sex, Boris's gaffe, The Emoji Movie, the CIA and the Brexit Supreme Court ruling.