Browse content similar to Episode 4. Check below for episodes and series from the same categories and more!
Line | From | To | |
---|---|---|---|
-I now sentence you to 12 years. -LAWYER: -Objection! | 0:00:02 | 0:00:04 | |
I'm taking away the Nespresso machine. | 0:00:04 | 0:00:06 | |
-Helen! -You could help me find Justin. | 0:00:07 | 0:00:09 | |
Can I give her this verse card? | 0:00:09 | 0:00:11 | |
You were my supply teacher at senior school. | 0:00:11 | 0:00:14 | |
Too little, | 0:00:14 | 0:00:15 | |
too late. | 0:00:15 | 0:00:17 | |
We won the lottery! Ye-e-s! | 0:00:17 | 0:00:20 | |
Don't you tell anyone about this. | 0:00:20 | 0:00:22 | |
ALL: Shhh! | 0:00:22 | 0:00:23 | |
-You can't represent me against my will. -Yes, I bloody can. | 0:00:23 | 0:00:26 | |
I'm Justin. | 0:00:26 | 0:00:27 | |
What are you doing in my flat? | 0:00:27 | 0:00:29 | |
Mashta Fembuick... Well, this changes everything. | 0:00:29 | 0:00:33 | |
Bingo! | 0:00:33 | 0:00:35 | |
INMATES CHATTER | 0:00:52 | 0:00:54 | |
"Dear Maurice, thank you for your postcard. | 0:00:54 | 0:00:57 | |
"In answer to your query - I did experiment with that as a teenager, | 0:00:57 | 0:01:00 | |
"although I soon realised - lady's top half, fine, | 0:01:00 | 0:01:03 | |
"bottom half - no-o-o, thank yooo. But never say never! | 0:01:03 | 0:01:07 | |
"I've been in Broadmarsh eight weeks now, | 0:01:07 | 0:01:10 | |
"though it feels like yesterday I was trying on wedding dresses | 0:01:10 | 0:01:13 | |
"and deciding on our first dance - | 0:01:13 | 0:01:14 | |
"anything by Daniel Bedingfield - not Gotta Get Thru This. | 0:01:14 | 0:01:18 | |
"My lawyer, Tony, has been about as useful to me | 0:01:18 | 0:01:21 | |
"as a dandelion tincture in the face of cancer, | 0:01:21 | 0:01:23 | |
"so I'm afraid, at the moment, we're on non speakers. | 0:01:23 | 0:01:26 | |
"Can't help thinking, I should forget lawyers | 0:01:26 | 0:01:28 | |
"and handle my case myself. | 0:01:28 | 0:01:30 | |
"I'm sure you'd give me the same advice, although as you say, | 0:01:30 | 0:01:32 | |
"it's different for you because you did actually kill all those people." | 0:01:32 | 0:01:36 | |
Helen! | 0:01:36 | 0:01:38 | |
SCREECHING | 0:01:39 | 0:01:40 | |
I'm fine. I'm fine. | 0:01:40 | 0:01:43 | |
"There's still no sign of my darling fiance, Justin. | 0:01:43 | 0:01:47 | |
"Aside from the fact that I need my alibi, | 0:01:47 | 0:01:50 | |
"I'm worried he's changed his mind about the wedding. | 0:01:50 | 0:01:52 | |
"But I need to be positive. | 0:01:52 | 0:01:54 | |
"Maybe he's had a terrible accident and is in a coma somewhere." | 0:01:54 | 0:01:58 | |
-Was the sofa OK to sleep on? -Yeah. | 0:02:00 | 0:02:03 | |
Sorry you couldn't sleep in your bed, Helen's bed. | 0:02:03 | 0:02:06 | |
Would have been a bit weird. | 0:02:06 | 0:02:08 | |
-With me in there. -Where are you going? | 0:02:08 | 0:02:10 | |
Oh, I'm off to see Helen. She requested a visit. | 0:02:10 | 0:02:13 | |
I should tell her you're back. When are you going in? | 0:02:14 | 0:02:16 | |
I think I might leave it a couple more days. | 0:02:16 | 0:02:19 | |
I'm still getting over my jet lag. | 0:02:19 | 0:02:21 | |
You can get jet lag from the Eurostar? | 0:02:21 | 0:02:23 | |
Well, it's certainly taken it out of me. | 0:02:23 | 0:02:26 | |
I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention anything about me... | 0:02:26 | 0:02:30 | |
..you know, being... | 0:02:30 | 0:02:32 | |
alive. | 0:02:32 | 0:02:33 | |
I need a bit more time. | 0:02:33 | 0:02:36 | |
These last few months have been | 0:02:36 | 0:02:39 | |
an emotional roller coaster. | 0:02:39 | 0:02:41 | |
Maybe I need to unlock here, | 0:02:41 | 0:02:44 | |
before I can... | 0:02:44 | 0:02:45 | |
..unlock her. | 0:02:47 | 0:02:49 | |
-I need your help. -I'm very well, thanks for asking. How are you? | 0:02:56 | 0:02:59 | |
Oh, God, just... Shhh! | 0:02:59 | 0:03:02 | |
OK? | 0:03:02 | 0:03:04 | |
I'm thinking about representing myself now. | 0:03:04 | 0:03:06 | |
What? What's Tony going to do? He needs this job, Helen. | 0:03:06 | 0:03:09 | |
This is about me, not Tony. | 0:03:09 | 0:03:10 | |
It's always about you, that's the problem. | 0:03:10 | 0:03:13 | |
If you weren't so selfish, maybe you wouldn't be in prison. | 0:03:13 | 0:03:16 | |
Shut up! I'm selfish? | 0:03:16 | 0:03:18 | |
You've visited me once in the last eight weeks. | 0:03:18 | 0:03:20 | |
I was waiting in for a parcel from Eye Secrets. | 0:03:20 | 0:03:23 | |
Oh, it's not about that, OK? | 0:03:23 | 0:03:24 | |
I need your help because I'm thinking about teaching myself law. | 0:03:26 | 0:03:29 | |
You know, Like Erin Brockovich or the Lorenzo's Oil guys. | 0:03:29 | 0:03:33 | |
Really? No offence, Helen, | 0:03:33 | 0:03:34 | |
but I used to copy your old homework | 0:03:34 | 0:03:37 | |
until I realised I got better grades if I didn't hand anything in. | 0:03:37 | 0:03:40 | |
I've always thought I'd make a fantastic lawyer, though. | 0:03:40 | 0:03:42 | |
Good, because I need you to assist me. You'd have more access to books | 0:03:42 | 0:03:45 | |
and together, we could get me out of here. | 0:03:45 | 0:03:49 | |
Listen Helen, I'd love to, but I've got a very busy life. | 0:03:49 | 0:03:51 | |
I'm out two to three nights a week. | 0:03:51 | 0:03:54 | |
That's a shame. | 0:03:54 | 0:03:56 | |
It's just...I thought it might make a good story | 0:03:56 | 0:03:58 | |
if we ever felt like selling the film rights. | 0:03:58 | 0:04:00 | |
What film rights? | 0:04:03 | 0:04:04 | |
The Hollywood film deal. | 0:04:04 | 0:04:06 | |
Think about it. | 0:04:06 | 0:04:07 | |
They're crying out for a story like this - two sisters, | 0:04:07 | 0:04:11 | |
separated by prison, | 0:04:11 | 0:04:12 | |
one of them in for a crime she didn't commit. | 0:04:12 | 0:04:15 | |
-Younger sister played by... -Beyonce? | 0:04:15 | 0:04:17 | |
I don't know if that would work, because I was thinking | 0:04:17 | 0:04:19 | |
-Jennifer Aniston could play me. -Or Whoopi Goldberg. | 0:04:19 | 0:04:22 | |
Anyway, younger sister learns law to a top level, | 0:04:23 | 0:04:26 | |
gets older sister out. It's got everything. | 0:04:26 | 0:04:29 | |
Yeah, I suppose it does. | 0:04:29 | 0:04:30 | |
What, I'd just have to learn some law? | 0:04:30 | 0:04:33 | |
Yeah! | 0:04:33 | 0:04:34 | |
-BELL RINGS -You'd have to get your skates on because my appeal's looming. | 0:04:34 | 0:04:37 | |
I think representing myself could really work. | 0:04:37 | 0:04:40 | |
No-one gives more of a shit about me than me. | 0:04:40 | 0:04:42 | |
Is that my cardigan? | 0:04:43 | 0:04:45 | |
I'm actually quite excited about this. | 0:04:47 | 0:04:50 | |
I once had a try-out for the school debating team. | 0:04:50 | 0:04:52 | |
Didn't get in, but, you know, | 0:04:52 | 0:04:54 | |
it shows the seeds were sown. | 0:04:54 | 0:04:56 | |
Wow. When you do get out of here, | 0:04:56 | 0:04:58 | |
and I get out of here and you get married to Justin, | 0:04:58 | 0:05:01 | |
can I be your maid of honour? | 0:05:01 | 0:05:03 | |
I don't know, Christine... | 0:05:03 | 0:05:04 | |
I've got loads of funny stories for the speech, | 0:05:04 | 0:05:07 | |
like the time you were given a cavity search, | 0:05:07 | 0:05:08 | |
and accidentally called the warden Mum. | 0:05:08 | 0:05:10 | |
Wow! | 0:05:15 | 0:05:17 | |
That's a lorra, lorra law. | 0:05:17 | 0:05:18 | |
What the hell? | 0:05:23 | 0:05:25 | |
Where's all the books? | 0:05:26 | 0:05:27 | |
Found one! | 0:05:27 | 0:05:29 | |
Mornin' ladies, yeah? | 0:05:31 | 0:05:33 | |
Having fun with the books, yawn. | 0:05:33 | 0:05:34 | |
-Can we help you with something? -It's the first of the month. | 0:05:34 | 0:05:37 | |
-You know what that means? -White rabbits! -Shut up. | 0:05:37 | 0:05:40 | |
It means payday. | 0:05:40 | 0:05:42 | |
Top Dog wants four fags, from everyone. | 0:05:42 | 0:05:45 | |
You do this, Christine? | 0:05:45 | 0:05:46 | |
I've got mine on direct debit, so I don't have to worry about it. | 0:05:46 | 0:05:49 | |
Well, I haven't smoked since my first Holy Communion, | 0:05:49 | 0:05:52 | |
so you'll have to get your snouts elsewhere. | 0:05:52 | 0:05:55 | |
Right. Well, I think Top Dog will find other ways to make you pay. | 0:05:55 | 0:06:00 | |
Like with biscuits. | 0:06:00 | 0:06:03 | |
I'll leave you with this to think about. | 0:06:03 | 0:06:05 | |
Margaret, I think I know what this is about, | 0:06:14 | 0:06:17 | |
and first of all, she's a lying skank, | 0:06:17 | 0:06:20 | |
and what's more, I was just patting her there because she looked upset. | 0:06:20 | 0:06:23 | |
CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS IN BACKGROUND | 0:06:23 | 0:06:25 | |
Take your top off, Frank. | 0:06:25 | 0:06:26 | |
OK. | 0:06:26 | 0:06:27 | |
-What? -Off. | 0:06:30 | 0:06:32 | |
Now. Get it off. | 0:06:32 | 0:06:33 | |
And the vest. | 0:06:41 | 0:06:42 | |
FRANK PANTS NERVOUSLY | 0:06:57 | 0:06:59 | |
-I want you... -Yeah... | 0:07:00 | 0:07:03 | |
..here, midday tomorrow. | 0:07:03 | 0:07:05 | |
Eh? | 0:07:05 | 0:07:07 | |
I'm going to paint you. Frank. | 0:07:07 | 0:07:08 | |
-Like a model? -Yes, like a model. | 0:07:11 | 0:07:14 | |
Ha. I'm a bloody model! | 0:07:16 | 0:07:20 | |
And Frank... | 0:07:20 | 0:07:21 | |
Yes, ma'am? | 0:07:21 | 0:07:23 | |
It wasn't a pat, it was a squeeze. | 0:07:23 | 0:07:25 | |
You're on six weeks library duty for touching up the prison chaplain. | 0:07:25 | 0:07:28 | |
Get out. | 0:07:28 | 0:07:30 | |
All right, yeah. | 0:07:32 | 0:07:34 | |
Hello, Entirely Tiles, can I put you on hold? | 0:07:54 | 0:07:57 | |
Hello, Entirely Tiles, can I put you on hold? | 0:07:59 | 0:08:02 | |
SHE BURPS | 0:08:02 | 0:08:04 | |
-Hello, Entirely Tiles, can I put you on hold? -SHE MOUTHS: -"Sorry." | 0:08:04 | 0:08:07 | |
Hello, Entirely Tiles, can I put you on hold? | 0:08:07 | 0:08:11 | |
Hello, Entirely Tiles... | 0:08:11 | 0:08:13 | |
Friday, | 0:08:13 | 0:08:14 | |
11.24, Entirely Tiles offices. | 0:08:14 | 0:08:17 | |
Tony Norman is continuing with his...my endeavours, | 0:08:17 | 0:08:20 | |
despite the client's protestations. | 0:08:20 | 0:08:23 | |
This is my chance to show Helen Stephens | 0:08:23 | 0:08:26 | |
I am the right man for the job. | 0:08:26 | 0:08:29 | |
Hello, Entirely Tiles, can I put you on hold? | 0:08:29 | 0:08:31 | |
VACUUM WHIRRS | 0:08:35 | 0:08:37 | |
I appear to be in some sort of storeroom. | 0:09:07 | 0:09:11 | |
At first inspection, seems normal enough - | 0:09:11 | 0:09:14 | |
catalogues, ring binders, | 0:09:14 | 0:09:15 | |
dividers, | 0:09:15 | 0:09:16 | |
four-colour biros | 0:09:16 | 0:09:19 | |
paper - A3 and A4, | 0:09:19 | 0:09:21 | |
oh, prickly thimbles... | 0:09:21 | 0:09:23 | |
various colours. | 0:09:23 | 0:09:25 | |
Nothing untoward. | 0:09:25 | 0:09:27 | |
I think I'll just lay low in here for a bit, | 0:09:27 | 0:09:30 | |
and then | 0:09:30 | 0:09:32 | |
resume my investigation when the coast is clear. | 0:09:32 | 0:09:35 | |
CLATTERING | 0:09:35 | 0:09:37 | |
TOP DOG SNIFFS | 0:09:39 | 0:09:41 | |
This one's menthol. | 0:09:41 | 0:09:43 | |
Who smokes menthol, for flop's sake? | 0:09:43 | 0:09:45 | |
We thought you'd like it as a pudding fag. | 0:09:45 | 0:09:47 | |
Oh yeah, like an after fag, fag. | 0:09:47 | 0:09:50 | |
-It's the last straw. -That was Fatty's fault. | 0:09:55 | 0:09:57 | |
I don't give a pilchard's turd whose fault it is. | 0:09:57 | 0:10:00 | |
You can't even run | 0:10:00 | 0:10:01 | |
a basic fag extortion payment scheme! | 0:10:01 | 0:10:04 | |
It's not good enough. | 0:10:06 | 0:10:07 | |
I'm sick of you. | 0:10:08 | 0:10:11 | |
I'm going to get a new posse. | 0:10:11 | 0:10:14 | |
You're fired. | 0:10:14 | 0:10:15 | |
And I'm taking back your nicknames. | 0:10:17 | 0:10:19 | |
-What? -You 'eard. | 0:10:19 | 0:10:21 | |
Clare. | 0:10:21 | 0:10:22 | |
Imogen. | 0:10:22 | 0:10:24 | |
Claire with an I. | 0:10:24 | 0:10:25 | |
Sarah. | 0:10:25 | 0:10:27 | |
-Sorry, I've forgotten your name. -Clare. | 0:10:28 | 0:10:31 | |
Clare! | 0:10:31 | 0:10:33 | |
DOG BARKS | 0:10:40 | 0:10:42 | |
Ssh, Piccalilli. I'm trying to nail my sister's case. | 0:10:42 | 0:10:45 | |
DOG GROWLS | 0:10:48 | 0:10:51 | |
I'm not going to think about anything other than this case. | 0:10:56 | 0:10:59 | |
I'm literally 1,000% the law right now. I'm like Robocop. | 0:10:59 | 0:11:04 | |
I need to focus on justice. | 0:11:04 | 0:11:05 | |
What are you looking at? | 0:11:05 | 0:11:07 | |
We need a new boss. | 0:11:07 | 0:11:08 | |
You've got to be shitting me. | 0:11:08 | 0:11:11 | |
Listen to me, we need to move fast. | 0:11:11 | 0:11:13 | |
Without a leader, we're just a violent friendship circle. | 0:11:13 | 0:11:17 | |
We need a proper psycho. | 0:11:17 | 0:11:19 | |
She might say she didn't do it but they all say that - | 0:11:19 | 0:11:21 | |
she's definitely a killer. | 0:11:21 | 0:11:23 | |
Mary. We need to talk... Argh! | 0:11:23 | 0:11:27 | |
Erm, you've got a little bit of... | 0:11:33 | 0:11:36 | |
What do you want? | 0:11:36 | 0:11:37 | |
I just saw Helen Stephens' lawyer snooping around. | 0:11:48 | 0:11:51 | |
Have you told anyone about the missing money? | 0:11:51 | 0:11:54 | |
No. I haven't. | 0:11:54 | 0:11:55 | |
The only people who know about that money are you and a dead man. | 0:11:55 | 0:12:00 | |
And now me. You, me and a dead man. | 0:12:00 | 0:12:02 | |
Why is he here then, eh? Seems a weird coincidence. | 0:12:02 | 0:12:05 | |
I don't know. Maybe it's got something to do with that murdering bitch | 0:12:05 | 0:12:09 | |
who killed our boss in this very office for no reason. | 0:12:09 | 0:12:13 | |
Oh, my God. That's why she killed him, Stephens knew about the money. | 0:12:13 | 0:12:20 | |
Take that back! Helen didn't kill anyone. | 0:12:20 | 0:12:24 | |
How can you be so sure? | 0:12:24 | 0:12:26 | |
Because when you've looked into Helen's eyes as deeply as I have, | 0:12:26 | 0:12:30 | |
you can see right through to her frontal lobe. | 0:12:30 | 0:12:33 | |
And that frontal lobe wouldn't hurt a fly. | 0:12:33 | 0:12:36 | |
Well, what about Mrs Bridges? | 0:12:36 | 0:12:38 | |
Call it women's intuition, but that bitch is all over this. | 0:12:38 | 0:12:42 | |
Did you just let off? | 0:12:45 | 0:12:47 | |
I most certainly did not. | 0:12:48 | 0:12:51 | |
Listen to me. We need to move fast. | 0:12:52 | 0:12:54 | |
You need to go into the prison and find out | 0:12:54 | 0:12:56 | |
whether that slag Helen knows anything about the money. | 0:12:56 | 0:12:59 | |
Call it women's intuition, but that bitch is all over this. | 0:12:59 | 0:13:03 | |
-You just said that about Mrs Bridges. -What can I say? I've got a very sensitive bitch-dar. | 0:13:03 | 0:13:08 | |
OK. But when we go back out there, | 0:13:08 | 0:13:10 | |
we just need to act like everything's normal. | 0:13:10 | 0:13:13 | |
The last thing we need is Mrs Bridges getting wind of any of this. | 0:13:13 | 0:13:18 | |
My office. Now. | 0:13:20 | 0:13:23 | |
Do you actually know anything about the law? | 0:13:36 | 0:13:39 | |
Yeah. Well, I've read all the John Grisham novels. | 0:13:39 | 0:13:42 | |
But I want to be all over the legalese - go in there and really dazzle them. | 0:13:42 | 0:13:46 | |
I'm going to read every word of this pamphlet, so there's nothing they can pull me up on. | 0:13:46 | 0:13:50 | |
Do you want to see if you can find a legal precedent? | 0:13:50 | 0:13:53 | |
I don't think so. No offence to me, but I'm borderline backward. | 0:13:53 | 0:13:57 | |
I see myself as more of a "holding the ladder" type. | 0:13:57 | 0:13:59 | |
Is she bothering you, boss? | 0:14:04 | 0:14:05 | |
Why are you calling me boss? | 0:14:07 | 0:14:09 | |
Because you're our boss now. | 0:14:09 | 0:14:10 | |
No, I am not! What about Miss Grainger? | 0:14:10 | 0:14:13 | |
Who? | 0:14:13 | 0:14:15 | |
Top Dog. What about Top Dog? | 0:14:15 | 0:14:18 | |
That's over. We're yours now. | 0:14:18 | 0:14:20 | |
Well, I'm really flattered | 0:14:23 | 0:14:25 | |
but I'm not looking to be anyone's leader right now. | 0:14:25 | 0:14:28 | |
I'm just a humble law student | 0:14:28 | 0:14:30 | |
looking to learn my way out of here, | 0:14:30 | 0:14:32 | |
so unless any of you know anything about law... | 0:14:32 | 0:14:34 | |
-Does anyone know anything about law? -I used to be a barrister. | 0:14:34 | 0:14:37 | |
-Really? -Yeah, in Starbucks. | 0:14:37 | 0:14:40 | |
Shut up. Sorry, Boss. | 0:14:40 | 0:14:42 | |
Stop calling me boss. I'm not your boss. | 0:14:42 | 0:14:45 | |
You have been chosen. Deal with it. | 0:14:45 | 0:14:49 | |
Ever since I got 'ere, youse two 'ave been up to something. | 0:14:52 | 0:14:56 | |
Whispering in your little corners, secret meetings in the cupboard. | 0:14:56 | 0:15:00 | |
Either youse two are nobbin' each other, | 0:15:00 | 0:15:03 | |
or there's something even nastier goin' on. | 0:15:03 | 0:15:05 | |
We were planning this year's Secret Santa. | 0:15:05 | 0:15:07 | |
-In frickin' March? -Secret Easter bunny? | 0:15:07 | 0:15:10 | |
Oh. Really? | 0:15:10 | 0:15:13 | |
Well if you're so organised, | 0:15:13 | 0:15:14 | |
how comes I ain't been asked to put in for the office lotto yet? | 0:15:14 | 0:15:17 | |
Oh, yeah. | 0:15:17 | 0:15:19 | |
I've been going through the book. | 0:15:19 | 0:15:21 | |
I don't want miss out on all this good luck you've been having. | 0:15:21 | 0:15:25 | |
£87 last year. | 0:15:25 | 0:15:26 | |
That's a lot of moolah. | 0:15:26 | 0:15:29 | |
Where'd you get that book from? | 0:15:29 | 0:15:31 | |
From the third drawer down of your desk. | 0:15:31 | 0:15:34 | |
That is your desk, innit, Mary? | 0:15:34 | 0:15:36 | |
In fairness to Mary, the lottery's only just been resumed. | 0:15:36 | 0:15:38 | |
Helen Stephens was in charge of it | 0:15:38 | 0:15:40 | |
but since she's been banged up in chokey, it's sort of gone to pot. | 0:15:40 | 0:15:43 | |
Mary's on it now. | 0:15:43 | 0:15:45 | |
Well, I am glad to hear it. | 0:15:45 | 0:15:49 | |
Anyone got change for a 50? | 0:15:50 | 0:15:52 | |
Well, here's to a big win. | 0:15:58 | 0:16:02 | |
May I say, Elaine, you're an inspiration to us. | 0:16:02 | 0:16:05 | |
If you can move on from your Eric's untimely murder so quickly, | 0:16:05 | 0:16:09 | |
then so can we. | 0:16:09 | 0:16:10 | |
You're very brave. Some would say cold, but I say businesslike. | 0:16:10 | 0:16:15 | |
Thank you, Henry. That'll be all. | 0:16:17 | 0:16:20 | |
Oh, and Mary. | 0:16:23 | 0:16:24 | |
I like a joke as much as the next person, but this is racially inappropriate. | 0:16:26 | 0:16:31 | |
That bitch knows something. | 0:16:40 | 0:16:42 | |
I know that bitch knows something! | 0:16:42 | 0:16:44 | |
Sorry, sorry, Mary. | 0:16:44 | 0:16:47 | |
Listen to me. This shit just got real. | 0:16:47 | 0:16:51 | |
I'll find out what that tart Bridges is up to, you find out what | 0:16:51 | 0:16:55 | |
that money-loving-cow Stephens really knows. | 0:16:55 | 0:16:58 | |
How? | 0:16:58 | 0:16:59 | |
Try looking into her frontal lobe a little bit deeper this time. | 0:16:59 | 0:17:03 | |
-Now? -No. | 0:17:11 | 0:17:12 | |
-Now? -No. | 0:17:14 | 0:17:16 | |
Now? | 0:17:17 | 0:17:19 | |
All right. | 0:17:19 | 0:17:20 | |
-Now? -Oh, for fu... | 0:17:24 | 0:17:25 | |
Right - everyone out. I'm shutting shop. | 0:17:25 | 0:17:29 | |
No, we're entitled to another 40 minutes library time. | 0:17:29 | 0:17:31 | |
Oh, I do apologise, | 0:17:31 | 0:17:32 | |
I forgot this was the University of...like... | 0:17:32 | 0:17:37 | |
you know, Swotty Boffins. | 0:17:37 | 0:17:40 | |
Let me just check with the dean. | 0:17:40 | 0:17:42 | |
He says piss the piss off. | 0:17:43 | 0:17:46 | |
So, I don't think anyone believed you existed | 0:18:00 | 0:18:03 | |
until Helen announced her engagement. | 0:18:03 | 0:18:06 | |
You sure have been on a long stag do! | 0:18:06 | 0:18:08 | |
It wasn't planned. | 0:18:08 | 0:18:10 | |
I was out in Prague and I kinda had this epiphany at a U2 concert, | 0:18:10 | 0:18:14 | |
and well, I just decided to follow them on tour. | 0:18:14 | 0:18:18 | |
Well, you're not the first man to get cold feet | 0:18:18 | 0:18:20 | |
and follow Bono round the world, and you certainly won't be the last. | 0:18:20 | 0:18:25 | |
I'm not sure my incarcerated sister would understand, though. | 0:18:25 | 0:18:29 | |
Yeah, I know, I'm going to sort it out. | 0:18:29 | 0:18:31 | |
I just don't think now's the right time. | 0:18:31 | 0:18:33 | |
Helen's only just settled into prison life. | 0:18:33 | 0:18:35 | |
She doesn't need another big shock at the moment. | 0:18:35 | 0:18:37 | |
I'll go and see her soon. Promise. | 0:18:37 | 0:18:40 | |
Here you are. Try this? | 0:18:40 | 0:18:43 | |
What is that? | 0:18:43 | 0:18:45 | |
Tomato cup-a-soup and Lea and Perrins sauce. | 0:18:45 | 0:18:48 | |
Mmm. | 0:18:58 | 0:19:00 | |
Shit. | 0:19:06 | 0:19:08 | |
I work well individually and as part of a team, | 0:19:18 | 0:19:21 | |
I'd really like to learn more about bullying and general scaremongering, | 0:19:21 | 0:19:26 | |
and I think I'd bring a lot to the overarching threat of this group. | 0:19:26 | 0:19:30 | |
Very good. | 0:19:30 | 0:19:32 | |
And have you any experience of being in a gang? | 0:19:34 | 0:19:37 | |
Yes, I spent three years in a fairly judgmental book group? | 0:19:37 | 0:19:42 | |
How about combat? Karate, jujitsu, boxing? | 0:19:45 | 0:19:51 | |
I'm pretty good at Zumba. | 0:19:53 | 0:19:55 | |
Good luck. | 0:20:01 | 0:20:02 | |
Thought we'd find you here. | 0:20:16 | 0:20:18 | |
We sorted out that skank Bella what was looking at you funny. | 0:20:18 | 0:20:21 | |
Bella? She's blind. | 0:20:21 | 0:20:23 | |
A thank you would be nice. | 0:20:23 | 0:20:25 | |
I'm not thanking you for beating up a blind woman. | 0:20:25 | 0:20:29 | |
We don't just beat up blind people willy-nilly where I come from. | 0:20:29 | 0:20:35 | |
I will not have this violence in my name. I won't have it. | 0:20:35 | 0:20:39 | |
Will I not give her this then? | 0:20:39 | 0:20:42 | |
-What, is the library closed? -Yeah. | 0:20:42 | 0:20:44 | |
-Do you want us to open it for you? -No, It's fine. -It's easy. | 0:20:44 | 0:20:47 | |
-Seriously just leave it. -You just... | 0:20:47 | 0:20:50 | |
What are you doing? Don't do that! | 0:20:50 | 0:20:52 | |
What were we just saying about not having violence in my... | 0:20:52 | 0:20:54 | |
Oh, nice one. | 0:20:54 | 0:20:56 | |
Ooh. Sorry boss. | 0:20:58 | 0:21:01 | |
Just a bit higher? Up like that? Is that better? | 0:21:03 | 0:21:07 | |
Yeah. | 0:21:07 | 0:21:09 | |
Margaret, how could you? With him! | 0:21:10 | 0:21:14 | |
Do you know how many times I've pictured us making love on your chaise longue? | 0:21:14 | 0:21:19 | |
And then I walk in and find you with him! | 0:21:19 | 0:21:24 | |
What kind of sick role-play is this? | 0:21:24 | 0:21:29 | |
I'm painting "Poseidon's Return" and Frank is modelling for me. | 0:21:29 | 0:21:34 | |
-Up a bit, Frank. -Like that, yeah? | 0:21:40 | 0:21:43 | |
KNOCKING | 0:21:43 | 0:21:45 | |
Enter. | 0:21:45 | 0:21:46 | |
WOMAN HICCUPS | 0:21:48 | 0:21:49 | |
Chitara, can you not? What do you want? | 0:21:49 | 0:21:54 | |
Um, I just wondered if I could have a word? | 0:21:54 | 0:21:57 | |
Speak. | 0:21:57 | 0:21:58 | |
In private? | 0:21:58 | 0:22:00 | |
Double clap means leave, yeah? You bunch of whippet's shit-holes. | 0:22:03 | 0:22:09 | |
-They seem nice. -What's it to you? | 0:22:11 | 0:22:13 | |
Nothing! Just you look naturally good with a posse. | 0:22:13 | 0:22:17 | |
And? | 0:22:17 | 0:22:19 | |
It's just a shame you had to get rid of the old ones. | 0:22:19 | 0:22:22 | |
You and your old crew had a certain horrible je ne sais quoi. | 0:22:22 | 0:22:27 | |
So you did learn something in my French class | 0:22:27 | 0:22:30 | |
when you weren't putting excrement in my Radley handbag. | 0:22:30 | 0:22:33 | |
Yeah, well, since leaving school, | 0:22:34 | 0:22:37 | |
I've owned a mid-range handbag myself and I realise now that | 0:22:37 | 0:22:40 | |
that kind of thing is actually really not that funny. | 0:22:40 | 0:22:42 | |
Shut up. Why are you 'ere? | 0:22:42 | 0:22:44 | |
Well, just... Lenny's been asking for you. She really misses you. | 0:22:44 | 0:22:51 | |
They all do. | 0:22:51 | 0:22:52 | |
Well, I've moved on. That's over. | 0:22:52 | 0:22:54 | |
I've got a new posse now so get out. | 0:22:54 | 0:22:57 | |
OK, just, very quickly wanted to say the girls would love to see you... | 0:22:59 | 0:23:03 | |
I'm going to kill you in a moment. | 0:23:03 | 0:23:05 | |
Don't do that! A bientot. | 0:23:05 | 0:23:08 | |
She was holding her breath to stop the hiccups. She passed out. | 0:23:11 | 0:23:15 | |
Stephens. | 0:23:15 | 0:23:17 | |
Tell Lenny I'll see her. | 0:23:18 | 0:23:20 | |
Day two. So thirsty. | 0:23:25 | 0:23:29 | |
I've finished the last of the Blu-Tack. | 0:23:29 | 0:23:32 | |
It's not that disgusting if you imagine it as a spring roll. | 0:23:32 | 0:23:36 | |
Things aren't looking good. | 0:23:37 | 0:23:39 | |
If I don't make it out of here alive, | 0:23:39 | 0:23:42 | |
I'd like my ex-wife, Rita, to have my TV and cafetiere | 0:23:42 | 0:23:46 | |
and to my stepson, I leave my collection of Carole King LPs. | 0:23:46 | 0:23:50 | |
And to my client, Helen Stephens, I'd like to leave this message. | 0:23:52 | 0:23:57 | |
Don't trust anyone from your office. | 0:23:57 | 0:24:01 | |
So, I've been thinking, well, Fatty's been thinking... | 0:24:07 | 0:24:10 | |
and she don't know if this, us, is going anywhere. | 0:24:10 | 0:24:14 | |
So, you know, Fatty thinks we should call it a day. | 0:24:14 | 0:24:17 | |
It's not you...it's Fatty. | 0:24:17 | 0:24:22 | |
Fine. Well, good luck with everything. | 0:24:22 | 0:24:24 | |
Is that all you can say? | 0:24:24 | 0:24:27 | |
Erm...I don't like you? | 0:24:27 | 0:24:29 | |
You cold-hearted bitch. | 0:24:30 | 0:24:32 | |
OK. | 0:24:33 | 0:24:35 | |
My God, I can't believe I wasted the best days | 0:24:35 | 0:24:39 | |
of my week following you around. | 0:24:39 | 0:24:41 | |
Come on, Fatty. Top Dog needs her ears syringing. | 0:24:43 | 0:24:48 | |
You're looking bonny, Helen. Have you gained a little weight? | 0:25:05 | 0:25:09 | |
You try eating nothing but carbonara for two months. | 0:25:11 | 0:25:14 | |
No, it's just nice to see a bit more of you, that's all. | 0:25:14 | 0:25:17 | |
I got an e-mail from Laura saying that you're representing yourself now. | 0:25:17 | 0:25:21 | |
Wow. Body and brains! How's that going? | 0:25:23 | 0:25:26 | |
Good. I mean, it's not going great, but in a good way. | 0:25:26 | 0:25:31 | |
-So you haven't told your lawyer anything that you haven't told me? -No. | 0:25:31 | 0:25:35 | |
As far as I'm concerned, Tony Norman and I are on non-speakers. | 0:25:35 | 0:25:38 | |
Good. | 0:25:38 | 0:25:40 | |
It's just I'm supposed to be your man on the inside, | 0:25:40 | 0:25:43 | |
looking for clues and whatnot, and we don't want your lawyer | 0:25:43 | 0:25:46 | |
trampling all over all the good work we've started. | 0:25:46 | 0:25:49 | |
All the progress we've made. | 0:25:49 | 0:25:52 | |
Really? What progress have we made finding Justin? | 0:25:52 | 0:25:55 | |
Can I suggest, Helen, close friend to close friend, | 0:25:55 | 0:25:58 | |
that you let this Justin dream, alibi, excuse, | 0:25:58 | 0:26:02 | |
whatever you want to call it, just let it go. | 0:26:02 | 0:26:05 | |
You need someone reliable, you need a Vauxhall Astra not some flash Golf GTI. | 0:26:05 | 0:26:13 | |
Which, let's face it, is quite expensive to insure. | 0:26:13 | 0:26:19 | |
Yeah. I'll bear that in mind. | 0:26:20 | 0:26:23 | |
Thanks, Henry, for whatever it is you're doing. | 0:26:23 | 0:26:27 | |
I'll talk to Tony, find out what he's been up to. | 0:26:27 | 0:26:31 | |
BELL RINGS | 0:26:31 | 0:26:32 | |
Sounds like a plan, Stan! | 0:26:32 | 0:26:35 | |
Have a great weekend. | 0:26:37 | 0:26:38 | |
C'mere you. | 0:26:40 | 0:26:41 | |
Henry, you forgot your... | 0:26:48 | 0:26:50 | |
'Toadpole TS, Manchasteton, IE.' | 0:26:54 | 0:27:00 | |
"Dear Maurice, thank you for your latest drawing. | 0:27:00 | 0:27:04 | |
"I've never imagined myself as half woman half prawn, | 0:27:04 | 0:27:07 | |
"but it was actually quite a good likeness! | 0:27:07 | 0:27:09 | |
"I've realised representing myself isn't going to be as easy as I first thought, | 0:27:09 | 0:27:13 | |
"especially now that Lenny and the posse have beaten up every law book in the library. | 0:27:13 | 0:27:17 | |
"And to make matters worse, my sister Laura has also downed tools | 0:27:17 | 0:27:20 | |
"after receiving a very curt e-mail from Halle Berry's agent. | 0:27:20 | 0:27:24 | |
"Maybe I was wrong to give up on Tony. | 0:27:24 | 0:27:27 | |
"Right now I need all the allies I can get." | 0:27:27 | 0:27:30 | |
BANGING | 0:27:59 | 0:28:00 | |
Either you're taking this secret Easter bunny lark a bit too seriously, Mary, | 0:28:28 | 0:28:33 | |
or you need to tell me exactly what is going on. | 0:28:33 | 0:28:37 | |
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd | 0:28:48 | 0:28:51 |