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I now sentence you to 12 years. | 0:00:00 | 0:00:02 | |
-Objection! -Wh... | 0:00:02 | 0:00:04 | |
-I didn't kill Eric Bridges, I... -SHE SLAPS HER FACE | 0:00:04 | 0:00:06 | |
What about Justin? He wouldn't just leave me here to rot. | 0:00:06 | 0:00:09 | |
I need to unlock here before I can unlock her. | 0:00:10 | 0:00:15 | |
Call it women's intuition, but that bitch is all over this. | 0:00:15 | 0:00:18 | |
-Oh, nice one. -Yes! | 0:00:18 | 0:00:21 | |
You need to tell me exactly what is going on. | 0:00:26 | 0:00:30 | |
'Dear Maurice, thank you for your postcard. In answer to your query, | 0:00:45 | 0:00:49 | |
'yes, I have seen Last Tango In Paris | 0:00:49 | 0:00:51 | |
'but not recently enough to recall that particular scene | 0:00:51 | 0:00:55 | |
'you described in such vivid, vivid detail. | 0:00:55 | 0:00:58 | |
'So what news? My lawyer Tony is now back on the case | 0:00:58 | 0:01:02 | |
'and I'm all for second chances, except with epilators. | 0:01:02 | 0:01:04 | |
'What a waste of 30 quid. | 0:01:04 | 0:01:06 | |
'He seems to believe he's made a breakthrough.' | 0:01:06 | 0:01:09 | |
What money? I don't know anything about any money. | 0:01:09 | 0:01:13 | |
-Well, your colleagues will beg to differ. -Which colleagues? Who? | 0:01:13 | 0:01:16 | |
I couldn't see their faces but one of them seemed to be suggesting | 0:01:16 | 0:01:19 | |
you were a "lying slag". | 0:01:19 | 0:01:22 | |
Tony! My reputation at work was second-to-none. | 0:01:22 | 0:01:26 | |
Everyone respected me. | 0:01:26 | 0:01:27 | |
There is not one person in there who thought anything other... | 0:01:27 | 0:01:30 | |
I bet it was Mary. Or Claire. | 0:01:30 | 0:01:32 | |
Well, the lawyer instinct in me is strong. | 0:01:32 | 0:01:36 | |
-Could have been Sjilla. -And it tells me there's something fishy happening in there. | 0:01:36 | 0:01:41 | |
Well, what about Henry? We could get him to find out what's going on. | 0:01:41 | 0:01:45 | |
No, we can't trust anybody! | 0:01:45 | 0:01:47 | |
Except maybe family. | 0:01:48 | 0:01:49 | |
Let's get Laura back in that office. | 0:01:49 | 0:01:53 | |
Working from the inside. | 0:01:53 | 0:01:55 | |
PHONE RINGS | 0:01:55 | 0:01:56 | |
'Henry, if you're not standing in front of my desk in five seconds, | 0:01:56 | 0:01:59 | |
'I will be using your arsehole as a pencil sharpener | 0:01:59 | 0:02:01 | |
'or your cock as a hole-punch. Your choice.' | 0:02:01 | 0:02:03 | |
KNOCK ON DOOR | 0:02:09 | 0:02:10 | |
Yes. | 0:02:10 | 0:02:12 | |
I caught this shady bitch snooping around the office last night. | 0:02:12 | 0:02:15 | |
And she ain't saying diddly squat so you better tell me what's going on. | 0:02:15 | 0:02:18 | |
Mary, what were you doing snooping around the office last night? | 0:02:18 | 0:02:21 | |
As I told Mrs Bridges 72 times, I was doing some research | 0:02:21 | 0:02:25 | |
for Secret Santa's bunny. | 0:02:25 | 0:02:27 | |
-HE LAUGHS -Well, that explains everything. Right, if that's all, | 0:02:27 | 0:02:30 | |
I've got an order of cappuccino marble tiles to get off, so... | 0:02:30 | 0:02:33 | |
Of course. | 0:02:33 | 0:02:34 | |
Hello, is that the police? | 0:02:36 | 0:02:38 | |
Yeah, I'd like to report a break-in. Oh, yeah, I did. | 0:02:38 | 0:02:43 | |
I got a really good look at her. Yeah. 5'2". Very late 40s. | 0:02:43 | 0:02:48 | |
Shifty-looking rat eyes. Virgin. | 0:02:48 | 0:02:51 | |
Looks like one of them witches out of that kid's book The Witches. | 0:02:51 | 0:02:54 | |
Oh, hang on, I'll just ask her. | 0:02:54 | 0:02:57 | |
What were you doing breaking in to the office, Mary? | 0:02:57 | 0:02:59 | |
I think we should talk. | 0:02:59 | 0:03:01 | |
-I'm still connected, Henry. -Cheeseballs! | 0:03:03 | 0:03:05 | |
HE REPEATEDLY TAPS DISCONNECT BUTTON | 0:03:05 | 0:03:08 | |
Well, it's that time of year again, officers. | 0:03:08 | 0:03:12 | |
The annual prison choir sing-off. | 0:03:12 | 0:03:15 | |
This year we've been drawn against HMP Woolley Grange Prison. | 0:03:15 | 0:03:19 | |
They have a reputation for choral excellence | 0:03:19 | 0:03:22 | |
and reforming some of the most disgusting nonces | 0:03:22 | 0:03:25 | |
and bum ticklers in the country. | 0:03:25 | 0:03:27 | |
Which means we are going to have to up our game. | 0:03:27 | 0:03:31 | |
Can't have a repeat of last year, can we, Frank? | 0:03:31 | 0:03:33 | |
Oh, come on. Everyone loves nine fat girls on a see-saw. | 0:03:33 | 0:03:38 | |
So, Tim, I'd like you to conduct the choir this year. | 0:03:38 | 0:03:42 | |
You're pulling my dong. | 0:03:42 | 0:03:44 | |
Wow! | 0:03:44 | 0:03:46 | |
-HE GASPS -I was not expecting this. | 0:03:46 | 0:03:48 | |
Oh, ma'am, I'd be honoured. I will not let you down. | 0:03:48 | 0:03:52 | |
I would like, with your permission, to refer to the choir | 0:03:55 | 0:03:58 | |
as the glee club. | 0:03:58 | 0:03:59 | |
You can call it what you like. I don't give a monkey's armpit, | 0:03:59 | 0:04:03 | |
as long as you bring home the silver. | 0:04:03 | 0:04:06 | |
Have you got what it takes to sing for your prison against HMP Woolley Grange?! | 0:04:06 | 0:04:10 | |
Ooh! Woolley Grange boys! Nigel! Who's got a pen? Who's got a pen?! | 0:04:10 | 0:04:15 | |
THEY ALL YELL | 0:04:15 | 0:04:17 | |
Give me the pen! | 0:04:21 | 0:04:22 | |
I'm telling you, Helen, this is our moment. | 0:04:22 | 0:04:26 | |
It's like Martine McCutcheon said... | 0:04:26 | 0:04:28 | |
Yeah, well, Martine McCutcheon was also knocked down and killed | 0:04:28 | 0:04:31 | |
in a Christmas special so...you know. | 0:04:31 | 0:04:33 | |
She's not exactly one to talk. | 0:04:33 | 0:04:34 | |
Oh, but the Woolley Grange boys are coming! | 0:04:34 | 0:04:37 | |
-Nigel's back this year. Oh. My. God. -Stop! | 0:04:37 | 0:04:41 | |
I need to focus on getting out of here, OK. | 0:04:41 | 0:04:44 | |
Not some stupid, silly singing competition. | 0:04:44 | 0:04:47 | |
I'm stuck in prison for a crime I didn't commit. | 0:04:47 | 0:04:49 | |
There is no music in my world. | 0:04:49 | 0:04:51 | |
But it's singing, Helen! It's singing. | 0:04:51 | 0:04:54 | |
Who doesn't enjoy a good sing-song? | 0:04:54 | 0:04:57 | |
This girl. | 0:04:57 | 0:04:59 | |
Her performing days are over. | 0:04:59 | 0:05:02 | |
Sure, she used to sing. | 0:05:02 | 0:05:05 | |
She was once compared to a young Michael Ball. | 0:05:05 | 0:05:08 | |
But she's done with that razzmatazz. And she's never... | 0:05:08 | 0:05:12 | |
Never, never going baaaaaacccck! | 0:05:12 | 0:05:18 | |
-Are you about to burst into song? -No! | 0:05:18 | 0:05:20 | |
Look, good luck with it all, Christine, but singing's not for me. | 0:05:20 | 0:05:25 | |
Me, me, me, me, me... | 0:05:30 | 0:05:32 | |
-I-I-I-I... -Oh, come on. -Honestly, I've no idea. | 0:05:32 | 0:05:35 | |
So, you're re-capping to me that my late husband stole nearly | 0:05:35 | 0:05:39 | |
£1 million from the lotto winnings and now he's dead, | 0:05:39 | 0:05:42 | |
the money's gone and you have no idea where it is? | 0:05:42 | 0:05:45 | |
It's true! | 0:05:45 | 0:05:46 | |
Well, how about this for a bit of brainwork, | 0:05:46 | 0:05:50 | |
the woman who's behind bars for killing my husband, | 0:05:50 | 0:05:52 | |
who ran the bloody lotto, might know a little summink about it, | 0:05:52 | 0:05:55 | |
don't you think? | 0:05:55 | 0:05:57 | |
Yes! That's what I said! That bitch's paws are all over this. | 0:05:57 | 0:06:01 | |
So...sorry, just to re-recap, | 0:06:01 | 0:06:03 | |
are you saying you're not going to call the police? | 0:06:03 | 0:06:05 | |
What I'm saying is, if you should find the money, | 0:06:05 | 0:06:10 | |
I want half of it! | 0:06:10 | 0:06:11 | |
When you say half, do you mean half of half, because we've already halved... | 0:06:14 | 0:06:18 | |
I want a whole half. | 0:06:18 | 0:06:20 | |
Anyway, I've got a little summink up my sleeve that might just find | 0:06:22 | 0:06:26 | |
this cash quicker than you two festival turds have managed. | 0:06:26 | 0:06:29 | |
I'm just gonna have to pick my moment. | 0:06:30 | 0:06:33 | |
Yeah, no. I'm in the flat. I just... | 0:06:34 | 0:06:38 | |
We need to talk about Piccalilli. | 0:06:38 | 0:06:41 | |
I think he's pregnant. | 0:06:43 | 0:06:45 | |
How can you sit there so calmly on the toilet? | 0:06:45 | 0:06:47 | |
We can barely look after ourselves, how are we going to support a family of baby dogs? | 0:06:47 | 0:06:52 | |
We'll be fine. | 0:06:52 | 0:06:53 | |
Justin, in case you hadn't noticed, dog food doesn't grow on trees. | 0:06:53 | 0:06:58 | |
And neither does pizza. | 0:06:58 | 0:06:59 | |
Didn't you and Helen have a joint account or something? | 0:06:59 | 0:07:02 | |
It's, ehhh...I've lost all the cards and stuff. | 0:07:02 | 0:07:04 | |
Well, that's just another reason to go and see her, then. | 0:07:04 | 0:07:07 | |
You have to tell her you're back. | 0:07:07 | 0:07:09 | |
Trust me, OK? I've got a plan. | 0:07:09 | 0:07:12 | |
Pizza, dogfood and magazines...? | 0:07:12 | 0:07:16 | |
Oh, and some of those little sesame snap things. | 0:07:16 | 0:07:19 | |
-OK. Wish me luck. -Good luck. | 0:07:20 | 0:07:21 | |
I got a bottle of Yop! | 0:07:28 | 0:07:31 | |
THEY LAUGH EXCITEDLY | 0:07:31 | 0:07:33 | |
Your name, please? | 0:07:33 | 0:07:34 | |
When's Nigel getting here? | 0:07:34 | 0:07:36 | |
Not until the big day. Er, what will you be singing for us? | 0:07:36 | 0:07:40 | |
Dip It by G Child Sovereign Princess. | 0:07:40 | 0:07:43 | |
OK. | 0:07:43 | 0:07:44 | |
Five, six, seven, eight. | 0:07:49 | 0:07:52 | |
# Dip your BLEEP in my motherfucking BLEEP BLEEP | 0:07:52 | 0:07:55 | |
# Dip your BLEEP in my motherfucking BLEEP BLEEP | 0:07:55 | 0:07:58 | |
# Dip it, dip it Lick it, lick it...# | 0:07:58 | 0:08:00 | |
# Say you will, say you won't | 0:08:00 | 0:08:03 | |
# Say you'll do what I don't | 0:08:03 | 0:08:04 | |
# Say you're true, say to me | 0:08:04 | 0:08:07 | |
# Ha, ha C'est la vie...# | 0:08:07 | 0:08:11 | |
What are ya loike? | 0:08:11 | 0:08:13 | |
# We'll meet again | 0:08:13 | 0:08:16 | |
# Don't know where | 0:08:16 | 0:08:18 | |
# Don't know when | 0:08:18 | 0:08:21 | |
# But I know we'll meet again | 0:08:21 | 0:08:24 | |
# Some sunny day... # | 0:08:24 | 0:08:28 | |
ALARM SOUNDS | 0:08:28 | 0:08:30 | |
# I need some stimulation, baby | 0:08:30 | 0:08:33 | |
# A little conversation, maybe | 0:08:33 | 0:08:35 | |
# You got me spinning 'round like crazy | 0:08:35 | 0:08:37 | |
# So, so, so scandalous! # | 0:08:37 | 0:08:40 | |
When's Nigel getting here? | 0:08:40 | 0:08:42 | |
Are you here to audition, Stephens? | 0:08:45 | 0:08:47 | |
No, no, I'm just here to support Christine. | 0:08:47 | 0:08:49 | |
Well, maybe I will as I'm here. | 0:08:49 | 0:08:51 | |
SHE TAP-DANCES | 0:08:51 | 0:08:54 | |
I think this CV sings for itself. | 0:08:54 | 0:08:57 | |
I was compared to a young Michael Ball. | 0:08:57 | 0:09:01 | |
SHE TAP-DANCES | 0:09:03 | 0:09:06 | |
PIANO MUSIC STARTS | 0:09:07 | 0:09:09 | |
# Come a little bit closer, baby Get it on, get it on | 0:09:10 | 0:09:15 | |
# Cos tonight is the night when two become one | 0:09:15 | 0:09:21 | |
# I need some love like I never needed love before | 0:09:22 | 0:09:25 | |
# Wanna make love to ya, baby | 0:09:25 | 0:09:28 | |
# I had a little love, now I'm back for more | 0:09:28 | 0:09:32 | |
# Wanna make love to ya, baby | 0:09:32 | 0:09:35 | |
# Set your spirit free | 0:09:35 | 0:09:38 | |
# It's the only way to be | 0:09:38 | 0:09:44 | |
# Oooooooo, ohhhhhhh | 0:09:44 | 0:09:48 | |
# Eeeeeeeeee! # | 0:09:48 | 0:09:52 | |
THEY APPLAUD | 0:09:52 | 0:09:55 | |
Helen, that audition is exactly why I do this job. | 0:09:55 | 0:09:59 | |
It's 1,000,000% yes from me. | 0:09:59 | 0:10:01 | |
THE CROWD APPLAUD | 0:10:01 | 0:10:04 | |
A DOOR OPENS | 0:10:04 | 0:10:06 | |
Is this the auditions? | 0:10:11 | 0:10:13 | |
Yes, but I don't see any other name on the list. | 0:10:14 | 0:10:18 | |
Virna. I'm new. | 0:10:18 | 0:10:20 | |
Have you got a piece of music? | 0:10:20 | 0:10:22 | |
I'll do it wi' nae music. | 0:10:22 | 0:10:24 | |
-A cappella? -Nah, I've already eaten. | 0:10:25 | 0:10:27 | |
# I dreamed a dream in time gone by | 0:10:37 | 0:10:43 | |
# When hope was high | 0:10:43 | 0:10:46 | |
# And life worth living | 0:10:46 | 0:10:50 | |
# I dreamed that love would never die | 0:10:50 | 0:10:56 | |
# I dreamed that God would be forgiving | 0:10:56 | 0:11:01 | |
THEY GIGGLE | 0:11:01 | 0:11:03 | |
# I had a dream my life would be | 0:11:03 | 0:11:06 | |
THEY BREATHE HEAVILY | 0:11:06 | 0:11:08 | |
# So different from this hell I'm living | 0:11:08 | 0:11:12 | |
# So different now from what it seemed | 0:11:12 | 0:11:17 | |
THEY PANT | 0:11:17 | 0:11:19 | |
# Now life has killed the dream | 0:11:19 | 0:11:24 | |
# I dreamed. # | 0:11:24 | 0:11:29 | |
SILENCE THEN WILD APPLAUSE | 0:11:31 | 0:11:34 | |
Virna. I knew from the minute you walked out onto that stage | 0:11:43 | 0:11:46 | |
we were going to hear something extraordinary | 0:11:46 | 0:11:49 | |
and I was right. | 0:11:49 | 0:11:51 | |
What a load of tosh. | 0:11:51 | 0:11:52 | |
-You're a little tiger, aren't you? -I don't know 'bout that. | 0:11:54 | 0:11:57 | |
You are. | 0:11:57 | 0:11:58 | |
MUSIC: "Rule The World" | 0:11:58 | 0:12:01 | |
EVERYONE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS | 0:12:04 | 0:12:06 | |
THE MUSIC STOPS | 0:12:16 | 0:12:18 | |
HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER | 0:12:18 | 0:12:20 | |
Yes! Come on! Get in! You made the list too. | 0:12:22 | 0:12:26 | |
THEY SCREAM | 0:12:26 | 0:12:28 | |
Oh, my God! | 0:12:28 | 0:12:30 | |
DOORBELL RINGS | 0:12:43 | 0:12:45 | |
Tony? What are you doing here? | 0:12:45 | 0:12:49 | |
Who's this? | 0:12:49 | 0:12:50 | |
-This? -This is... this is... | 0:12:50 | 0:12:54 | |
I'm Laura's... | 0:12:54 | 0:12:57 | |
-IN UNISON: -Lodger. -Lover. | 0:12:57 | 0:12:59 | |
-Lodger. -Love-ger? | 0:12:59 | 0:13:00 | |
Pleased to meet you. Tony. | 0:13:00 | 0:13:03 | |
Did you want something, Uncle Tony? It's just we're unpacking our spoils. | 0:13:03 | 0:13:06 | |
Yes, I did. I need you to go to Entirely Tiles | 0:13:06 | 0:13:10 | |
and get your job back. | 0:13:10 | 0:13:11 | |
Helen needs someone working on the inside. | 0:13:11 | 0:13:13 | |
That was quite the performance yesterday. | 0:13:20 | 0:13:22 | |
Right enough. I was always on the karaoke | 0:13:22 | 0:13:25 | |
down in ma dad's pub. | 0:13:25 | 0:13:26 | |
Well, it's not a karaoke competition but, er, | 0:13:26 | 0:13:29 | |
let's see who they choose to do lead vocals. | 0:13:29 | 0:13:32 | |
We don't know what they're looking for, I suppose. | 0:13:32 | 0:13:34 | |
Singers. They're looking for singers. | 0:13:34 | 0:13:37 | |
Oh, I think they're after the whole package. | 0:13:37 | 0:13:41 | |
You're probably right. | 0:13:50 | 0:13:52 | |
Shit! | 0:14:00 | 0:14:01 | |
OK, let's get this glee club started. | 0:14:03 | 0:14:06 | |
Oh, what's a glee club? | 0:14:06 | 0:14:08 | |
-It's like a choir. -Why don't you just call it a choir, then? | 0:14:08 | 0:14:10 | |
Why don't you just stop shoplifting from Dixons? | 0:14:10 | 0:14:13 | |
OK, ladies, we've only got a couple of days to get this together | 0:14:13 | 0:14:16 | |
but I have total faith in you that you'll pull this one out the bag. | 0:14:16 | 0:14:19 | |
But first we've got to nail the basics, so we'll start with some scales, | 0:14:19 | 0:14:23 | |
then we'll move onto the polyphonic harmonies. All right, everyone! | 0:14:23 | 0:14:26 | |
Give me a G! | 0:14:26 | 0:14:27 | |
THEY ALL SHOUT G! | 0:14:27 | 0:14:29 | |
No, the note. | 0:14:29 | 0:14:31 | |
Helen. | 0:14:31 | 0:14:32 | |
Could you give us a scale? | 0:14:32 | 0:14:33 | |
SHE CLEARS HER THROAT | 0:14:35 | 0:14:37 | |
# Do re mi fa sooooooo | 0:14:39 | 0:14:45 | |
# Laaaa ti dohoooohooo | 0:14:45 | 0:14:50 | |
# Hoooooooooo... # | 0:14:50 | 0:14:53 | |
OK. OK. | 0:14:53 | 0:14:54 | |
Virna, could we hear your scale? | 0:14:56 | 0:14:58 | |
Aye. I used tae sing scales in church. | 0:14:58 | 0:15:02 | |
Church-e-oke more like. | 0:15:02 | 0:15:03 | |
SHE SNIGGERS | 0:15:03 | 0:15:06 | |
SHE SINGS OPERATICALLY | 0:15:10 | 0:15:13 | |
HELEN ATTEMPTS TO JOIN IN | 0:15:16 | 0:15:20 | |
Helen. He... | 0:15:23 | 0:15:24 | |
THEY CONTINUE SINGING | 0:15:26 | 0:15:28 | |
Helen... | 0:15:29 | 0:15:31 | |
SHE KEEPS SINGING | 0:15:31 | 0:15:32 | |
Helen. | 0:15:32 | 0:15:34 | |
SHE CONTINUES | 0:15:34 | 0:15:37 | |
Can you not? | 0:15:37 | 0:15:39 | |
Wow! Well, I think we've found our lead vocalist. | 0:15:44 | 0:15:48 | |
Helen... | 0:15:48 | 0:15:50 | |
..I would like you to... | 0:15:52 | 0:15:55 | |
understudy Virna. | 0:15:55 | 0:15:57 | |
Congratulations, Virna, you're our soloist! | 0:15:57 | 0:16:00 | |
OK, everyone, let's work on our moves! | 0:16:00 | 0:16:02 | |
And I haven't eaten in weeks, | 0:16:06 | 0:16:08 | |
and neither has Piccalilli and he is with child. | 0:16:08 | 0:16:11 | |
So I really need this job back. | 0:16:11 | 0:16:14 | |
If not for me, then for the impending baby dogs. | 0:16:14 | 0:16:16 | |
-Course you can have your job back. -Oh, thank you. | 0:16:18 | 0:16:20 | |
Why are you looking so agog, Mary? | 0:16:20 | 0:16:23 | |
We could do with someone of Laura's skills around here. | 0:16:23 | 0:16:25 | |
What are your skills again? | 0:16:25 | 0:16:27 | |
Well, I've got a head for business and a bod for sin. | 0:16:27 | 0:16:32 | |
Well, you are re-hired. Can you start now? | 0:16:32 | 0:16:34 | |
Yeah! | 0:16:34 | 0:16:36 | |
Oh, just let me clean up here first. | 0:16:36 | 0:16:39 | |
I think the baby dogs are bearing down on his bladder. | 0:16:39 | 0:16:41 | |
Oh, don't worry about that. Mary will deal with it. | 0:16:41 | 0:16:45 | |
So how's that sister of yours gettin' on? | 0:16:46 | 0:16:49 | |
I was finkin' I'd like to pay her a little visit. | 0:16:49 | 0:16:52 | |
CHANTING Nigel! Nigel! Nigel! NIGEL! | 0:16:52 | 0:16:58 | |
CHEERING | 0:16:59 | 0:17:02 | |
Nigel! | 0:17:02 | 0:17:04 | |
You bitches are the reason I do this. I love you all. | 0:17:04 | 0:17:07 | |
We won UK Prisons Tug of War, we won Best Float at the Lord Mayor's Show, | 0:17:07 | 0:17:14 | |
and we then we took a gold at the Prison Vegetable Awards | 0:17:14 | 0:17:17 | |
for the fourth year running. | 0:17:17 | 0:17:18 | |
I don't know what it is about Woolley Grange soil | 0:17:18 | 0:17:20 | |
but it sure knows how to treat a parsnip. | 0:17:20 | 0:17:23 | |
I see you've got Nigel again this year. Machete-ing that bouncer | 0:17:23 | 0:17:27 | |
was the best thing that ever happened to your choir. | 0:17:27 | 0:17:29 | |
Everyone loves Nigel. | 0:17:29 | 0:17:31 | |
SHE CHUCKLES | 0:17:31 | 0:17:33 | |
But it's all about the choir today | 0:17:33 | 0:17:34 | |
and our girls have been in training for months. | 0:17:34 | 0:17:37 | |
And I think there's one in particular | 0:17:37 | 0:17:40 | |
who'll really stand out for us. | 0:17:40 | 0:17:42 | |
A little dicky bird told me that Tony Blackburn is judging, | 0:17:44 | 0:17:46 | |
so who knows what could happen. | 0:17:46 | 0:17:49 | |
You know Blackburn displays 95% of the characteristics of a sociopath? | 0:17:49 | 0:17:53 | |
He's dangerously unpredictable. | 0:17:53 | 0:17:56 | |
I suppose that means it's... all for the taking. | 0:17:56 | 0:18:01 | |
HE MOANS | 0:18:07 | 0:18:09 | |
SHE SWALLOWS | 0:18:09 | 0:18:12 | |
Laura. Don't look at me. Act normal. | 0:18:14 | 0:18:18 | |
How's it going? | 0:18:18 | 0:18:20 | |
Oh, great. Day two and I've been made Head of Adhesives! | 0:18:20 | 0:18:22 | |
But did you find out anything about Mrs Bridges? Anything suspicious? | 0:18:22 | 0:18:26 | |
Not yet, but I did give her my visitor's pass to see Helen. | 0:18:26 | 0:18:31 | |
-What did you do that for? -Cos she made me Head of Adhesives. | 0:18:31 | 0:18:34 | |
-Give us a lift? -Sorry, Laura, I've got to follow a lead. | 0:18:35 | 0:18:38 | |
ENGINE STARTS | 0:18:40 | 0:18:41 | |
CAR STOPS | 0:18:53 | 0:18:55 | |
CAR STARTS | 0:18:56 | 0:18:59 | |
CAR STOPS | 0:19:01 | 0:19:03 | |
ENGINE STARTS | 0:19:06 | 0:19:09 | |
THEY SING SCALES PERFECTLY | 0:19:11 | 0:19:14 | |
The performance is this afternoon. You can't drop out now. | 0:19:19 | 0:19:22 | |
I can and I have. | 0:19:22 | 0:19:24 | |
Virna seems to be happy to put up with a lack of professionalism | 0:19:24 | 0:19:27 | |
but I'm not. | 0:19:27 | 0:19:28 | |
Sorry for having standards. So, y'know, not interested. | 0:19:28 | 0:19:31 | |
-Unless... -Unless what? | 0:19:33 | 0:19:34 | |
Well, I don't even know why I'm saying this | 0:19:36 | 0:19:38 | |
because I just want to concentrate on my case and my solo stuff | 0:19:38 | 0:19:42 | |
but, I dunno, if the lead vocal was to become a duet | 0:19:42 | 0:19:46 | |
then maybe I might consider coming... | 0:19:46 | 0:19:49 | |
Virna, I think if we've learnt one thing from Blue and Elton John, | 0:19:54 | 0:19:58 | |
it's that a duet is always more... | 0:19:58 | 0:20:00 | |
If they want me to play Rosamund Pike's mother they can stick it up their arseholes. | 0:20:00 | 0:20:04 | |
To be honest, that bastard hasn't offered me a decent role | 0:20:04 | 0:20:07 | |
since I refused to suck it at Chichester. | 0:20:07 | 0:20:11 | |
OK, yeah. Ciao. | 0:20:11 | 0:20:13 | |
Oh! | 0:20:13 | 0:20:15 | |
Christine... I... | 0:20:15 | 0:20:17 | |
There's a moose loose aboot this hoose. | 0:20:17 | 0:20:20 | |
Ah was, errr... | 0:20:20 | 0:20:21 | |
We're not allowed phones in here. | 0:20:21 | 0:20:24 | |
Or agents. | 0:20:24 | 0:20:26 | |
Well, I'm as shocked as you, Margaret. | 0:20:29 | 0:20:31 | |
I mean, you'd think a professional actor would know better. | 0:20:31 | 0:20:34 | |
But I suppose what's important right now | 0:20:34 | 0:20:37 | |
is just to try and salvage the show. | 0:20:37 | 0:20:39 | |
SHE SIGHS | 0:20:39 | 0:20:40 | |
If only there was some way we could do that. | 0:20:40 | 0:20:43 | |
If only someone could step up to the plate. | 0:20:47 | 0:20:49 | |
Someone who had understudied the songs | 0:20:49 | 0:20:52 | |
-and was compared to a young Michael Crawford. -Ball. | 0:20:52 | 0:20:54 | |
Umm. Well, I mean, I've understudied the songs | 0:20:54 | 0:20:58 | |
and I have been compared to a young Michael Ball | 0:20:58 | 0:21:02 | |
so I suppose I could do it. | 0:21:02 | 0:21:05 | |
Well, girls, thank you for bringing this embarrassing situation | 0:21:08 | 0:21:12 | |
to my attention. | 0:21:12 | 0:21:14 | |
And thank you for volunteering to help. What a thoughtful offer. | 0:21:15 | 0:21:19 | |
Although I think I might have another solution. | 0:21:20 | 0:21:23 | |
# Tonight, I'm gonna have myself a real good time | 0:21:23 | 0:21:30 | |
# I feel alive | 0:21:30 | 0:21:36 | |
# And the world's turning inside out Yeah! | 0:21:36 | 0:21:43 | |
# I'm floating around in ecstasy | 0:21:43 | 0:21:48 | |
-# So... -Don't stop me now | 0:21:48 | 0:21:53 | |
THE ENGINE STOPS | 0:21:53 | 0:21:55 | |
# Don't stop me now Cos I'm having a good time | 0:21:55 | 0:21:58 | |
# I don't want to stop at all | 0:21:58 | 0:22:03 | |
# Don't stop me, don't stop me Don't stop me, hey, hey, hey | 0:22:03 | 0:22:06 | |
# Don't stop me, don't stop me Hoo, hoo, hoo... # | 0:22:06 | 0:22:08 | |
Just so you know, there is a lot riding on this. | 0:22:08 | 0:22:11 | |
You already said, darling. | 0:22:11 | 0:22:14 | |
# Wooooooo | 0:22:14 | 0:22:16 | |
# Don't stop me now We're having such a good time | 0:22:16 | 0:22:19 | |
# I'm having a ball | 0:22:19 | 0:22:22 | |
# Don't stop me now If you wanna have a good time | 0:22:22 | 0:22:25 | |
# Just give me a call | 0:22:25 | 0:22:27 | |
# Don't stop me now Cos I'm having a good time | 0:22:27 | 0:22:30 | |
# Don't stop me now Cos I'm having a good time | 0:22:30 | 0:22:33 | |
# I don't want to stop at all | 0:22:33 | 0:22:37 | |
# Don't stop me now. # | 0:22:37 | 0:22:39 | |
THE CROWD APPLAUD | 0:22:39 | 0:22:42 | |
Five, six, seven, eight. | 0:22:46 | 0:22:48 | |
KEYBOARD MUSIC STARTS | 0:22:48 | 0:22:51 | |
# There's a fire starting in my heart | 0:22:52 | 0:22:56 | |
# Reaching a fever pitch | 0:22:56 | 0:22:58 | |
# It's bringing me out the dark | 0:22:58 | 0:23:01 | |
# Finally I can see you crystal clear | 0:23:01 | 0:23:06 | |
# Go ahead and sell me out | 0:23:06 | 0:23:07 | |
# And I'll lay your shit bare | 0:23:07 | 0:23:10 | |
# See how I leave | 0:23:10 | 0:23:12 | |
# With every piece of you | 0:23:12 | 0:23:15 | |
# Don't underestimate | 0:23:15 | 0:23:17 | |
# The things that I will do | 0:23:17 | 0:23:20 | |
# There's a fire starting in my heart | 0:23:20 | 0:23:24 | |
# Reaching a fever pitch | 0:23:24 | 0:23:26 | |
# And it's bringing me out the dark | 0:23:26 | 0:23:30 | |
# The scars of your love | 0:23:30 | 0:23:31 | |
# They leave me breathless | 0:23:31 | 0:23:34 | |
# I can't help feeling | 0:23:34 | 0:23:36 | |
-# We could have had it all -Oooooooo! | 0:23:36 | 0:23:41 | |
-# Rolling in the deep -Rolling in the deep | 0:23:41 | 0:23:44 | |
# You had my heart and soul | 0:23:44 | 0:23:47 | |
# In your hand | 0:23:47 | 0:23:50 | |
# But you played it | 0:23:50 | 0:23:52 | |
# You played it, you played it | 0:23:52 | 0:23:54 | |
# You played it to the beat. # | 0:23:54 | 0:23:58 | |
THE CROWD APPLAUD | 0:23:58 | 0:24:01 | |
Yes? | 0:24:13 | 0:24:14 | |
It's Tony Norman, Helen Stephens' lawyer. | 0:24:14 | 0:24:17 | |
Can I come in? I want to ask you what you know about the murder of Eric Bridges. | 0:24:17 | 0:24:21 | |
I'm in the bath. | 0:24:23 | 0:24:25 | |
What do you know about the missing money? | 0:24:26 | 0:24:30 | |
I'm going to have to go in now. Thank you. Bye now. | 0:24:30 | 0:24:33 | |
HE EXHALES DEEPLY | 0:24:39 | 0:24:41 | |
This has been a difficult decision. | 0:24:42 | 0:24:45 | |
I mean, there is so much talent it's criminal. | 0:24:45 | 0:24:49 | |
HE CHUCKLES | 0:24:49 | 0:24:50 | |
But there can only be one winning choir | 0:24:50 | 0:24:53 | |
going through to the regionals. And that is... | 0:24:53 | 0:24:55 | |
DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS | 0:24:55 | 0:24:58 | |
Broadmarsh Women's Prison! | 0:25:11 | 0:25:12 | |
THEY CHEER AND HE SCREAMS | 0:25:12 | 0:25:14 | |
# Yeah, you and me | 0:25:14 | 0:25:15 | |
# We can ride on a star | 0:25:15 | 0:25:18 | |
# If you stay with me, girl | 0:25:18 | 0:25:21 | |
# We can rule the world | 0:25:21 | 0:25:25 | |
# Yeah, you and me | 0:25:25 | 0:25:28 | |
# We can light up the sky | 0:25:28 | 0:25:30 | |
# If you stay by my side | 0:25:30 | 0:25:33 | |
# We can rule the world... # | 0:25:33 | 0:25:36 | |
'Dear Maurice, I've been in solitary for ten days now, | 0:25:42 | 0:25:46 | |
'with only your letters and my new moustache for solace. | 0:25:46 | 0:25:50 | |
'I always wondered how I'd cope with this sort of sensory deprivation, | 0:25:50 | 0:25:53 | |
'and the answer is pretty good. | 0:25:53 | 0:25:55 | |
'Apart from the fact I got the We Buy Any Car jingle | 0:25:55 | 0:25:58 | |
'stuck in my head on day two. | 0:25:58 | 0:25:59 | |
'People say you can start having hallucinations in here, | 0:25:59 | 0:26:02 | |
'but luckily I've not suffered from that yet.' | 0:26:02 | 0:26:04 | |
Isn't that right, Senorita Snailima? | 0:26:04 | 0:26:07 | |
SHE LAUGHS | 0:26:08 | 0:26:11 | |
THE HATCH OPENS | 0:26:11 | 0:26:13 | |
Better get plucking, Stephens. You got a visitor. | 0:26:13 | 0:26:17 | |
You coming? | 0:26:17 | 0:26:18 | |
Suit yourself. | 0:26:20 | 0:26:22 | |
Erm... | 0:26:34 | 0:26:37 | |
Hello. How are you? | 0:26:37 | 0:26:39 | |
You look well. Have you had something done? Your hair or neck? | 0:26:46 | 0:26:51 | |
Oh, God! | 0:26:51 | 0:26:52 | |
Elaine, Mrs Bridges, I'm so sorry about what happened to Eric, | 0:26:52 | 0:26:57 | |
but I need you to know that I didn't do it, I did NOT do it. | 0:26:57 | 0:27:01 | |
I didn't do it. Did not do it. | 0:27:01 | 0:27:05 | |
Do you know what I was doing last night, Helen? | 0:27:05 | 0:27:09 | |
Homemade pizzas? | 0:27:09 | 0:27:11 | |
I was celebrating. | 0:27:11 | 0:27:13 | |
The hospice two doors down from us | 0:27:13 | 0:27:16 | |
have been trying to raise money for years to build an extension, | 0:27:16 | 0:27:19 | |
accommodation for the family, a little memorial fountain, | 0:27:19 | 0:27:24 | |
that sort of fing. | 0:27:24 | 0:27:26 | |
Yesterday, I received news | 0:27:26 | 0:27:28 | |
that the council had rejected planning permission. | 0:27:28 | 0:27:31 | |
My Eric, he'd have loved to've seen that. | 0:27:31 | 0:27:35 | |
He was doing everything in his power to make sure that carbuncle | 0:27:35 | 0:27:40 | |
did not block our view of the golf course. | 0:27:40 | 0:27:42 | |
But it is a bittersweet victory, Helen, | 0:27:42 | 0:27:47 | |
cos he ain't here to celebrate with me. | 0:27:47 | 0:27:50 | |
All right, but even knowing that, I still didn't kill him. | 0:27:51 | 0:27:58 | |
The thing is Helen, when you tell me stuff, | 0:27:58 | 0:28:02 | |
I don't know if I can believe you. | 0:28:02 | 0:28:04 | |
Especially since I found this in my husband's office. | 0:28:04 | 0:28:11 | |
What's that? | 0:28:12 | 0:28:14 | |
It's a tiny little sex tape, Helen. | 0:28:14 | 0:28:17 | |
It's 90 minutes of dirty talk and what sounds like someone | 0:28:18 | 0:28:22 | |
trying to mend a squeaky gate. | 0:28:22 | 0:28:25 | |
'I think I can, I think I can. | 0:28:25 | 0:28:27 | |
MOANS OF PLEASURE | 0:28:27 | 0:28:29 | |
'I know I can, I know I can!' | 0:28:29 | 0:28:31 | |
That's not me, that's... That's somebody else, that's... | 0:28:31 | 0:28:33 | |
'PHONE RINGING You should get that, Helen. | 0:28:33 | 0:28:36 | |
'It could be the Purbeck Marble people.' | 0:28:36 | 0:28:38 | |
I think you have a little explaining to do. | 0:28:42 | 0:28:45 | |
Now, where's my husband's money? | 0:28:46 | 0:28:50 | |
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd | 0:29:00 | 0:29:03 |