Episode 19 Debatable


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Episode 19

Celebrity panel quiz show hosted by Patrick Kielty. Sunetra Sarker, Germaine Greer and Russell Kane try and help Hazel from Leeds walk away with a jackpot.


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APPLAUSE

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Hello and welcome to Debatable

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where today one player must once again

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answer a series of tricky questions to try and walk away with a jackpot

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of over £3,000.

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As always, they're not on their own.

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They will have a panel of famous faces

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debating their way to the answers.

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Will they be able to talk the talk, though?

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That's debatable. Let's meet them.

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Straight-talking today,

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we have comedian Russell Kane,

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we have writer Germaine Greer

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and we have actress Sunetra Sarker.

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APPLAUSE

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It's a fine panel. Well-balanced, I think.

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Germaine, you're taking charge today in the middle.

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How are you feeling about that?

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I'll feel better when I've got used to doing it.

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You have two fine debaters on either side of you there.

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Russell Kane. Russell, of course, is there anything you don't know?

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Yes, any form of sport, darts through football.

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If I try and throw a dart, it goes sideways.

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If I kick a football, it goes over my head.

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I can't do anything to do with sport and I'm such an egomaniac

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I don't like stuff I'm not good at.

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Germaine, you are quite good on sport.

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I keep pretending to follow a football team

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because you have to be allowed to join the human race.

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And who do you pretend to follow?

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Arsenal.

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BOOING

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Oh.

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An Arsenal supporter in the middle seat, Sunetra,

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means the chances of the panellists actually winning today

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are quite slim.

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Living in Liverpool, you have to be a football fan.

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It's a bit like what you said. You have to be part of the human race.

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-It's the law.

-Yeah.

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And there's only the choice of two teams,

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Liverpool or Liverpool Reserves.

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So, that's the choice.

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That's your panel. Let's meet today's contestant.

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It is Hazel from Leeds.

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APPLAUSE

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-How are you doing?

-Very well, thanks.

-Welcome to the show.

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-Thank you.

-Tell us a bit about yourself.

-I'm from Leeds.

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I've got an 18-year-old son.

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I work for the University of Leeds, for the medical school.

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What do you do at the medical school?

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I look after timetables for students

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who are becoming doctors in year one.

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Hazel, can I just say, the moment you said, "I look after timetables",

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you got a little bit stricter with me already. You did.

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-I can't help it.

-Is everything running on time so far?

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As far as I can see, everything is fine, yeah.

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What do you do in your spare time?

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I love reading. I like gardening.

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When Jay is at home we'll watch TV together,

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being quite scathing about it -

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but we are massive, huge fans of Game Of Thrones.

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OK. So, you're taking it highbrow?

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I think that's what it is, yeah.

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What type of stuff are you hoping is going to come up today?

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Anything on literature. Films and TV I'm particularly good at.

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I was a little bit disappointed to hear how little the panel know

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about sport because that's really where I was hoping for some support.

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So, fingers crossed there is no sport.

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OK. What do you make of today's panel?

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-I think they look intelligent.

-Oh, they look intelligent!

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They do, that!

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All righty. You need to pay close attention to what these guys say

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because at the end of the show

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you'll pick one for the Final Debate.

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-OK.

-First, we've got to play the game.

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-Ready to go?

-I am.

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Here it comes. Let's play Round 1.

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OK, Hazel. Round 1 is multiple choice.

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Each question has four possible answers.

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Only one is correct.

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Four questions in the round. Each correct answer is worth £200.

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So at the end of this round, no doubt you will have £800

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in your prize pot.

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-Fantastic.

-OK, here's hoping. Let's get cracking.

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I think I would really look forward to hearing

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what the panel has got to say

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because that's not something I'm an expert on, I'm afraid.

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No doubt our panel have sunk a few cases of this

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during their time.

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The debate starts now.

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OK, Russell, what do you reckon?

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Well, if you drink it the same year it is harvested,

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the grape comes relatively late on the vine in the year,

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not much before March or April, does it?

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You aren't going to get a grape off the vine before summer

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and to tread it and get it out there...

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What do you reckon, Sunetra?

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You know what? I'm erring towards June because

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it feels like that gives it six months to get it growing

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and then six months to get it out and sold.

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Because...if you bring it out in December,

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it's not really got much life before you're into the next year.

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Let's see if we can just remember when you see the signs

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in the wine shops saying, "the Beaujolais, c'est arrive."

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It builds up its sugar in September while the soil is still warm

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and the sun still out. Then it's got to be harvested, as you say,

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and that takes time, and then it has to be fermented and drawn off.

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I'm thinking it's November that it appears in the wine shops.

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I think it's picked in June and goes out in September.

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What precludes September?

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Why can't it be September?

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Well, it can't be picked in June because it's not ripe.

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You can't make wine out of...

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In fact, in June, the grapes are tiny little buttons.

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September or November,

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but, what you've just said about June and the grapes being too tiny

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has convinced me it's November.

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That's what I'm thinking. No, maybe not.

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If you're saying it's too small in June, then when does it get picked?

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You're saying maybe August or September?

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-September.

-And then it can reach the shops realistically by November.

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It's a special delivery. I mean...

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It comes very swiftly once it's been drawn off.

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OK. There is our basis.

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We've got the decision based on that, which is clever.

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Uh-oh! If it's wrong I'm for the high jump.

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So the panel has decided that it is November

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that the Beaujolais goes on sale.

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So, Hazel, both Sunetra and Russell deferring to Germaine.

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Germaine, of course, obviously knows her good French wine

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because she's an Arsenal supporter

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and that's what they drink on the terraces up there.

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That's what I've heard.

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It was good listening to the discussion.

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I did think that was a really good point about the grapes being

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too small in June,

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so I think I'm going to agree with the panel and say November.

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OK. Based on the logic of the summer in Europe,

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-you are going for November.

-Yeah.

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The correct answer for £200 is...

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It is November. Well done.

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-Thank you very much.

-Well done.

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Under French law -

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who knew that the French had rules and regulations about their wine?

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But they do! The wine is released precisely on the third Thursday

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in November at 12:01am.

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Just weeks after the wine's grapes have been harvested.

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OK, Hazel. Well done. Up and running.

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£200 in the prize pot.

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Fantastic.

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Question two.

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That is not something I have ever heard of,

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but I think there's somebody on the panel who might be...

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Who do you think the person on the panel may be, Hazel?

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Russell. No, I mean Germaine!

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OK. Germaine and the rest of the panel, your debate starts now.

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Oh, dear. Oh, dear.

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This is feminism GCSE.

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I've never heard of this before.

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How shocking is that?

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What I'm thinking is that they like to use the name "mirror"

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for women's magazines. So, you have a women's mirror.

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The only thing I was going to say

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was that mirror has some kind of recognition of being female

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because of the magazines, but 1903?

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I don't know which one of the newspapers started then.

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The Daily Mail is a tough one to take.

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That was run by what's-his-name?

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Lord something-or-other started it.

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Beaverbrook, isn't it?

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The other thing about the Daily Mirror

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-is it's always had a socialist connection, hasn't it?

-BOTH: Yes.

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-I tend to think that women are natural socialists.

-Yup.

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There could have been a paper called the Daily Star that came out in 1903

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and then, as is not uncommon with women's enterprises,

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-went stony broke and disappeared.

-Mm-hm.

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That would be a hard one for us if there was this valiant little paper

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that rose and sank, this little star.

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What are we going to go for, boys and girls?

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It's got to be the Mirror. Has to be.

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-Let's try the Mirror.

-It has to be.

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The panel has decided with no great certainty and great trepidation

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to go with the Daily Mirror.

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So Hazel, they've talked around a little bit of history.

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They have gone with the female magazine

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and "mirror" in the title.

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I've never heard of a paper for women run by women.

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It is a very tough one, but I think I'm going to go with the panel

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and say Daily Mirror.

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OK, you're going with the panel again.

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You are saying Daily Mirror.

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For another £200, the correct answer is...

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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The Daily Mirror. Well played. Very well done.

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Oh, we are so happy!

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By happy you mean relieved.

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Yes.

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It was launched in 1903 by Alfred Harmsworth, later Lord Northcliffe,

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as a newspaper for women with a mainly female editorial staff,

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but, apparently, within a few months,

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it had a new editor and the so-called experiment came to an end.

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All of that means it's another 200 quid into your prize pot.

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Two out of two, you are up to £400, Hazel.

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APPLAUSE

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Here comes question three.

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Well, I wasn't looking forward to any sport questions

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and I thought that something else was going to come up there,

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so I will be very interested to hear what the panel has to say.

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The good news is our panel has great sporting expertise.

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LAUGHTER

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Panel, let's see if you can help us a little bit on this.

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Your debate starts now.

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At least they're mainstream sports, anyway.

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The irony is that piste always makes you feel like it's winter,

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because of the snow, piste, those sort of relevance.

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-It's a summer sport.

-Well, the piste is the track.

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The piste is the ski jumping...

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But it's wherever you are following a track.

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-If you're off your route.

-If you're off piste, you're off the track.

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Canoeing happens on water.

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I don't know that I can think of piste used for water.

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Maybe because they do slalom with canoes, don't they?

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-There is the sort of...

-That is kayaking, isn't it?

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-Yeah.

-Dressage.

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-That could have a piste.

-Horses.

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But I've got a funny feeling that it's fencing,

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and I used to fence when I was a lass at the YWCA.

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I used to go from school.

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-I was actually the referee at the Melbourne Olympics...

-Wow!

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for the fencing team in French.

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But you must have heard the word piste, then?

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Therefore, have you ever heard them saying, "they went off piste?"

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Or they were on piste?

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If you've done all that in fencing, and never heard the word piste?

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That's what I'm kind of thinking it is called in fencing.

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You were moving towards canoeing.

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Well, only because of the...

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For me, the likelihood of the skiing off piste.

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-You have to follow the track.

-It is a track so you can go off piste.

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I'm worried that I can't remember it being used in fencing,

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-that's why I'm not...

-I was totally with you, "I did it as a girl",

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"I was involved in the Olympics, and I don't recall the term."

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So it's probably not fencing, then.

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Surely you would remember that?

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I'm beginning to warm to canoeing

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and the fact that you go through sticks, you go through the poles.

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I'm going to say we have decided that the Summer Olympics sport

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that uses a piste is...canoeing.

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So, Hazel, you said you weren't a sports expert.

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Our panel said they weren't sports experts either,

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but Germaine used to fence as a little girl.

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She was a referee in the Melbourne Olympics, which, I mean,

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it's quite sporty to me.

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It's quite sporty.

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I can see what they're saying with the idea of a piste being a track,

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but I think that I'm not going to agree with the panel this time.

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I think I'm going to go for dressage

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because I'm thinking that it sounds French, so does piste,

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so for that reason I'm going to go for dressage.

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Hats off to that.

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OK. For £200, let's see.

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The correct answer is...

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Oh!

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-After all that.

-After all that.

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-Your first thought...

-Was the right one.

-..right one, Germaine.

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No money there, but there's still plenty of time and you're still on

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£400.

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Final question in this round.

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Let's see what we can do with this one. Here we go.

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That's difficult. I've heard of everybody except EB White,

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and I'm sure I would remember

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if I heard somebody's middle name was Boynton.

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So I could really do with the panel's help.

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-It sounds very Yorkshire.

-Do you think so?

-It sounds a bit Leeds.

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I don't know anybody with the middle name Boynton from Leeds.

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Well, let's turn this over to our very well-read panel.

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Your debate starts now.

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Right. Well, WB is...

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-Is the poet.

-..is William Butler Yeats.

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-Oh, well done.

-Well, Cecil B DeMille...

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Is Cecil, is he a film...?

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He's a film director.

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Isn't he the man who said, "Bring on the empty horses"?

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He's the one... "I'm ready for my close-up."

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"Bring on the empty horses or my middle name isn't Boynton"...

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-I don't know if that helps.

-I'm ready for my close-up, Mr DeMille.

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-What is Priestley's middle name?

-I actually have looked this up.

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But I cannot remember what it was.

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Yes, you can, just take a deep breath.

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-You'd remember if it was Boynton.

-I like to think I would remember.

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One of the things that is worrying me is that there is a Boynton Street

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in Boston and I think EB White is American.

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See, for me it would be between EB White or JB Priestley -

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and if you're saying you've looked it up...

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I'm saying I looked it up, but I don't recall it.

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It's definitely not an English middle name.

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What this means is we're not coming to any decisions.

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-We are guessing, this is going to be a guess.

-Potluck.

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-You are guessing EB White.

-I'm guessing EB White.

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Let's go EB White.

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The panel has guessed,

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that is to say decided,

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that the famous person who had the middle name Boynton

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was EB White.

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There we go. Great conviction from our panel on a blind guess.

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Yeah, that makes it quite difficult.

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I think this time I will go with the panel because I have no idea.

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I'll go with EB White.

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OK, you have no clue either, but you're going with the panel's guess

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of EB White.

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For £200,

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the correct answer is...

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JB Priestley.

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Irish parents.

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His full name was John Boynton Priestley.

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-John.

-Best known for his play An Inspector Calls.

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Young John Priestley or Jack Priestley to his friends and family,

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is thought to have adopted the B and the Boynton

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while growing up in Bradford.

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-Bradford?

-Really?

-Thought it was Yorkshire.

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Before the First World War.

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EB White, the author of Stuart Little and Charlotte's Web

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-was Elwyn Brooks White.

-Oh, yes!

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Germaine was right. WB Yeats of course, William Butler Yeats,

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and the Hollywood film producer was Cecil Blount.

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All of that round of knowledge doesn't help, Hazel, I'm afraid.

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Nothing for that question,

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but it means at the end of Round 1, you are still on £400.

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APPLAUSE

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This is the first point of the show where we ask you

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how our panel are doing. What do you think?

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I think they are all doing fantastically well.

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There's been some really difficult questions.

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And anyone standing out for a good reason or a bad reason?

0:17:100:17:15

I think at this point they are all as good as each other.

0:17:150:17:18

-Very diplomatic. Very diplomatic.

-Yeah.

0:17:180:17:20

OK, Hazel, well, let's see how they cope with pictures.

0:17:200:17:23

It's time for Round 2.

0:17:230:17:24

OK, Hazel, Round 2 is our picture round.

0:17:270:17:29

You must place three pictures in the correct order.

0:17:290:17:32

Three questions in this round.

0:17:320:17:33

The money goes up to £300 for every correct answer.

0:17:330:17:36

A possible 900 quid for the prize pot.

0:17:360:17:38

Here we go.

0:17:380:17:39

It should be quite easy because they are all quite contemporary,

0:18:000:18:03

but I would like to hear what the panel have to say.

0:18:030:18:06

OK, panel, let's see if we can sort this out.

0:18:060:18:08

Your debate starts now.

0:18:080:18:10

-Well, Russell knows.

-I think I know, yeah.

-And you know.

0:18:100:18:12

I think so.

0:18:120:18:15

I think this one isn't as hard as some of the rounds.

0:18:150:18:17

So what do we think?

0:18:170:18:19

Well, he lost in the '97 election to Tony Blair.

0:18:190:18:22

Yeah, but how many terms had he done before that?

0:18:220:18:25

I don't know how many terms, but I know Thatcher resigned

0:18:250:18:27

right at the start of the '90s and the election was '97,

0:18:270:18:29

so it is more or less seven years.

0:18:290:18:31

And he did it, he didn't get to do the last term,

0:18:310:18:33

so he is the shortest.

0:18:330:18:35

-He did the coalition.

-Yeah.

0:18:350:18:37

That was 2...

0:18:370:18:40

-2009, 2010. 2010 maybe?

-He was about five years,

0:18:400:18:43

he was about six years and he was about ten.

0:18:430:18:46

-Yeah.

-The panel has decided that it goes in this order,

0:18:460:18:51

Cameron, Major, Blair.

0:18:510:18:54

OK, that's what our panel think.

0:18:540:18:57

But have they managed to convince you?

0:18:570:19:01

Well, they all sounded very sure and I'm definitely going to go with

0:19:010:19:05

-the panel on this one.

-OK.

0:19:050:19:07

So you're going to go with the panel, Hazel.

0:19:070:19:10

Is that the correct order?

0:19:100:19:13

For £300.

0:19:130:19:14

It is!

0:19:190:19:21

David Cameron was PM for around six years and two months

0:19:230:19:26

from May 2010 to June 2016.

0:19:260:19:28

John Major was PM for around six years and five months

0:19:280:19:31

from November 1990 to May 1997.

0:19:310:19:36

Tony Blair then took over for PM in 1997 for almost ten years

0:19:360:19:40

and two months, from May '97 to June 2007.

0:19:400:19:44

Well played. £300 into the prize pot.

0:19:450:19:47

-You're up to £700.

-Wow!

0:19:470:19:49

Well done, guys. That was it.

0:19:490:19:51

You knew it.

0:19:510:19:52

OK, well played, Hazel. Still £600 up for grabs in this round.

0:19:530:19:57

Here comes your second question.

0:19:570:19:59

Well, I am one of those star signs, so I know one of the months

0:20:140:20:16

-for definite.

-OK, you are a...?

0:20:160:20:19

-Gemini.

-I see big money coming your way.

0:20:190:20:22

Yeah, I do too.

0:20:220:20:24

So it will be interesting to hear what the panel say,

0:20:240:20:27

but I think I've got a pretty good idea anyway.

0:20:270:20:30

Panel, let's see what's in your future. Your debate starts now.

0:20:300:20:33

-Anyone one of these signs?

-I like this question for once.

0:20:330:20:36

-Are you a Libra by any chance?

-OK, you take over because I don't know

0:20:360:20:39

-anything about them.

-Really?

0:20:390:20:41

I just thought this was... Because there's only a choice of 12,

0:20:410:20:44

so as long as you sort of know what they are.

0:20:440:20:47

Like Hazel has just said, I know Gemini.

0:20:470:20:50

My son is a Gemini and he's June.

0:20:500:20:52

My sister is also a Gemini so it's end of May, June. Leo is August.

0:20:520:20:55

-That's me.

-The lion.

-I'm a Leo.

0:20:550:20:58

-August 19th.

-You're not a Libra, are you?

0:20:580:21:00

-I'm Aquarius with Aquarius rising. Can't you tell?

-That's January.

0:21:000:21:03

I'm cancer with a Leo rising, however Libra is September.

0:21:030:21:08

-Yeah, that's right.

-There's Gemini, then there's Cancer, then Leo,

0:21:080:21:11

then there's Virgo, then there's Libra.

0:21:110:21:13

My mum's Gemini, June 11th, my brother is Cancer, June 27th.

0:21:130:21:16

-I'm Leo, August 19th.

-I love it, I love star signs.

0:21:160:21:18

Completely lost on me, I'm afraid.

0:21:180:21:22

But the learned panel has decided that the order is

0:21:220:21:26

Gemini, Leo, Libra.

0:21:260:21:28

OK, Hazel. Who knew that Sunetra was such a Mystic Meg?

0:21:290:21:36

-Septic Peg.

-A Septic Peg over in the corner there,

0:21:360:21:39

not just giving us the answer but giving us quite a few others.

0:21:390:21:42

-OK, Hazel.

-Yep. Well, they completely echoed what I thought.

0:21:420:21:45

-Following the panel.

-OK, you're sticking with your original thought.

0:21:450:21:49

-Yep.

-And you're going with the panel.

0:21:490:21:51

-Yep.

-Gemini, Leo and Libra.

0:21:510:21:54

For another £300, is that the correct answer?

0:21:540:21:58

-It is!

-Brilliant!

0:22:030:22:05

-Of course it was.

-Well done.

0:22:050:22:08

Leo runs from July 23rd,

0:22:080:22:10

in or thereabouts, to August 22nd.

0:22:100:22:12

Libra runs from September 23rd to October 23rd.

0:22:120:22:15

Gemini runs from around May 21st to June 21st.

0:22:150:22:20

That's another 300 quid into the prize pot.

0:22:200:22:22

You're doing ever so well. You're up to £1,000, Hazel.

0:22:220:22:25

Yeah, that's great.

0:22:250:22:26

And we're not done in this round yet.

0:22:300:22:32

Still another chance.

0:22:320:22:33

For £300, here comes your next question.

0:22:330:22:36

I will apologise for calling A-ha "A-haaa" in an Alan Partridge way.

0:22:510:22:55

I really loved A-ha,

0:22:560:22:58

so I happen to know that they won't have had their first hit first,

0:22:580:23:03

but I'm not too sure about the other two,

0:23:030:23:05

so it will be interesting to hear

0:23:050:23:07

what the panel have to say.

0:23:070:23:08

-I would imagine that Sunetra...

-Funny you should say that, Patrick.

0:23:080:23:12

Why me? All the clever questions go down that end,

0:23:120:23:14

-anything to do with...

-But that's not true at all.

0:23:140:23:17

I'm just trying to work out who may have had a poster of some of these

0:23:170:23:20

gentlemen on their wall.

0:23:200:23:21

Who knows? Panel, let's see.

0:23:210:23:23

The debate starts now.

0:23:230:23:25

Well, this is one debate in which I cannot really take part.

0:23:250:23:28

The reason this is a bit tricky is because of Duran Duran

0:23:280:23:31

and Spandau Ballet. Like Hazel said, I was a big fan of A-ha.

0:23:310:23:33

However, I was a bigger fan of Duran Duran and I did have a poster

0:23:330:23:37

of Duran Duran on my wall and I have been to see them in concert

0:23:370:23:41

and Save A Prayer is one of my favourite songs ever.

0:23:410:23:44

The only one I remember is A-ha. When I was at school.

0:23:440:23:46

I think that's quite late in the '80s,

0:23:460:23:48

-I think that's about '87.

-Yeah, they were around then.

0:23:480:23:51

-But the other two...

-The other two were around a lot earlier.

0:23:510:23:53

I would personally guess that Duran Duran were around

0:23:530:23:55

just before Spandau Ballet.

0:23:550:23:57

Spandau Ballet were the ones who sang Gold.

0:23:570:23:59

-"Gold!"

-And True and...

0:23:590:24:01

-Yeah.

-This would be my guest.

0:24:010:24:03

They were both around the same era,

0:24:030:24:05

but I think Duran Duran had their first top 40 hit with...

0:24:050:24:09

Now you are going to ask me. Is it Girls On Film?

0:24:090:24:11

I don't know. Maybe.

0:24:110:24:13

OK. So, the learned members of the panel,

0:24:130:24:16

who in this case do not include me,

0:24:160:24:18

have decided that these bands go in the following order,

0:24:180:24:23

and that's Duran Duran, Spandau Ballet and A-ha.

0:24:230:24:27

OK, Hazel. What do we think of that?

0:24:300:24:33

I'm a little bit torn

0:24:330:24:35

because I had a cousin who was a little bit older than me

0:24:350:24:37

and she actually gave me a Spandau Ballet dress, of all things.

0:24:370:24:41

-Really?

-Yeah.

0:24:410:24:42

-So, I'm not going to go with Sunetra.

-OK.

0:24:420:24:44

I'm going to say that

0:24:440:24:45

it was Spandau Ballet,

0:24:450:24:46

then Duran Duran and then A-ha.

0:24:460:24:48

-Controversial, Hazel.

-I know.

-So...

0:24:500:24:53

Our panel went with Duran Duran, Spandau Ballet, then A-ha.

0:24:530:24:57

You have gone against them.

0:24:570:24:59

-You've gone for Spandau Ballet, Duran Duran and A-ha.

-Yep.

0:24:590:25:02

For £300, is that the correct order?

0:25:020:25:04

It is the correct order!

0:25:090:25:12

You were right.

0:25:120:25:14

-Well done.

-There we go.

0:25:140:25:16

-Thanks to your cousin.

-Yeah, thanks to my cousin, yeah.

0:25:160:25:19

Spandau Ballet's first top 40 hit was in 1980

0:25:190:25:21

with To Cut A Long Story Short.

0:25:210:25:23

Duran Duran was 1981 with Planet Earth.

0:25:230:25:26

-One year in it.

-A year!

-And A-ha was 1985, Take On Me.

0:25:260:25:30

So sorry.

0:25:300:25:31

I've never heard of that Spandau Ballet hit, so...

0:25:310:25:33

No, it's fine. It's only a year.

0:25:330:25:35

Really short to choose from.

0:25:350:25:37

-Hazel, it doesn't matter, because you knew.

-Yes!

-I know.

0:25:370:25:40

And that's another £300, so at the end of Round 2,

0:25:400:25:42

your prize pot stands at £1,300.

0:25:420:25:45

Wow!

0:25:450:25:47

And there's still £1,500 up for grabs in Round 3.

0:25:480:25:52

Forgetting the fact that the panel got the last question wrong,

0:25:520:25:56

how do you think they're doing? Still proving useful?

0:25:560:25:59

I still think they're all doing great, yeah.

0:25:590:26:01

And have you made your mind up

0:26:010:26:02

-who you'd like to play the Final Debate yet?

-No, not yet.

0:26:020:26:04

Of course you haven't.

0:26:040:26:05

-Keep them working.

-I am, yeah.

0:26:050:26:07

OK. Let's see how they fare in our final round.

0:26:070:26:09

It's time for Round 3.

0:26:090:26:10

OK, Hazel, in Round 3, you're going to have questions

0:26:130:26:16

that contain statements about a person, a place or a thing,

0:26:160:26:18

-but only one of those statements is true.

-OK.

0:26:180:26:20

We need you to find that answer.

0:26:200:26:22

It is the final round,

0:26:220:26:23

so we're going to bump up the money

0:26:230:26:25

to 500 quid for each correct answer. £1,500 in total.

0:26:250:26:29

So, let's see if you can bag it all for the prize pot.

0:26:290:26:32

Here comes your first question.

0:26:320:26:34

I have just finished reading Michael Palin's diaries

0:26:570:27:01

from around this time.

0:27:010:27:02

I am pretty sure that when I read the book,

0:27:020:27:05

he mentioned Douglas Adams writing material,

0:27:050:27:08

but I'm not 100% about that.

0:27:080:27:10

OK. You're not 100%.

0:27:100:27:13

Your debate starts now.

0:27:130:27:15

Well...

0:27:150:27:16

Obviously, little bit before my time.

0:27:160:27:19

But like all good comedians, I'm a fan of Monty Python.

0:27:190:27:22

Went to the show at the O2 and I love Fawlty Towers,

0:27:220:27:26

which was being filmed

0:27:260:27:28

around the same time.

0:27:280:27:29

Surely there must have been an occasion where Cleese

0:27:290:27:31

could not make it.

0:27:310:27:33

Douglas Adams, 100% certain,

0:27:330:27:35

-appeared in the series.

-OK.

0:27:350:27:36

As a character. He appeared in some of the movies.

0:27:360:27:38

He's in Meaning Of Life. When they're doing the operation,

0:27:380:27:41

all the blood squirting everywhere,

0:27:410:27:42

the tall surgeon is Douglas Adams with a mask on.

0:27:420:27:44

That could be what I was thinking of.

0:27:440:27:46

If there was someone who didn't

0:27:460:27:48

fit in to the kind of schoolboy gang

0:27:480:27:51

that they were,

0:27:510:27:52

it was actually John Cleese,

0:27:520:27:54

who's a bit complicated.

0:27:540:27:56

Actually, I did watch a documentary and I think because we were thinking

0:27:560:27:59

of the more popular end of the TV series, which is towards the end...

0:27:590:28:02

-It's massive.

-The very, very beginning and the early days,

0:28:020:28:05

I think John Cleese was brought in to supplement roles

0:28:050:28:08

as opposed to be part of the very, very first team. Ah!

0:28:080:28:12

OK, so are we going to say that it's the third one?

0:28:120:28:15

-Douglas Adams.

-OK.

-Yeah.

0:28:150:28:16

The panel has decided that

0:28:160:28:18

Douglas Adams did write

0:28:180:28:19

material for the TV series

0:28:190:28:21

of Monty Python.

0:28:210:28:22

OK, Hazel. Good debate there from the panel.

0:28:240:28:27

They've come round to your first thought.

0:28:270:28:29

But they've also almost talked me out of it!

0:28:290:28:32

And I'm starting to doubt myself now.

0:28:320:28:34

But I think, because that was my first inkling

0:28:340:28:36

and because the panel have

0:28:360:28:38

gone with that, I'm going to go with the panel.

0:28:380:28:40

And say C.

0:28:400:28:41

OK, you're going with your first thought.

0:28:410:28:43

You're going with the panel.

0:28:430:28:44

-Germaine has her head in her hands.

-He's definitely in it.

0:28:440:28:47

For £500, the correct statement about Monty Python is...

0:28:470:28:52

Go on. Come on.

0:28:540:28:57

Yes! Get in! Woohoo!

0:28:570:29:00

It was the last - before they made Hitchhiker.

0:29:020:29:04

Douglas Adams did write material for the fourth series

0:29:040:29:08

and he did briefly appear in a sketch as a doctor.

0:29:080:29:11

John Cleese left before the fourth and final series was broadcast

0:29:110:29:14

in 1974, as he was working on solo projects such as Fawlty Towers,

0:29:140:29:19

-which would air the next year.

-Yes.

0:29:190:29:21

The Pythons played for ten nights,

0:29:210:29:23

adding nine nights after their initial show sold out

0:29:230:29:27

-in a record 43.5 seconds.

-Gosh!

0:29:270:29:30

But, look, very, very well played.

0:29:300:29:32

£500 into the prize pot.

0:29:320:29:34

You're now up to £1,800.

0:29:340:29:36

There is still £1,000 up for grabs.

0:29:420:29:45

-OK.

-Two questions to go.

0:29:450:29:47

Let's see if we can get it for you.

0:29:470:29:49

Here we go.

0:29:490:29:50

As I turn to side profile...

0:30:090:30:11

What are your first thoughts?

0:30:130:30:14

I think there might be two there that we could discount,

0:30:140:30:16

but I'd really like to hear what the panel has to say.

0:30:160:30:19

Keeping the powder dry. Panel?

0:30:190:30:21

I'd really like to hear what Hazel thinks about this first!

0:30:210:30:24

Your debate starts now!

0:30:240:30:26

Right, so does his name translate as "big nose"?

0:30:270:30:29

I don't think so.

0:30:290:30:31

-No.

-I thought his name meant "little boots".

0:30:310:30:33

-Gula.

-It's -igula.

0:30:330:30:37

I think he was murdered by his sister.

0:30:370:30:39

How did Caligula die?

0:30:390:30:41

I don't know why I'm feeling he was murdered by his sister.

0:30:410:30:44

I thought he was, because wasn't he having some sort of affair?

0:30:440:30:48

Wasn't he quite lusty, Caligula?

0:30:480:30:49

Roman mythology, goats, is there...?

0:30:520:30:55

-Greek God, goats.

-Is there a God?

0:30:550:30:56

The head of a goat?

0:30:570:30:59

A goat god. Pan is the goat god.

0:30:590:31:02

-Pan. So...

-With his cloven feet.

0:31:020:31:04

And Pan is quite the horny god, if I'm not mistaken, isn't he?

0:31:040:31:07

Pan ruts and struts...

0:31:070:31:09

-He's the god of nature, actually.

-Nature.

0:31:090:31:12

-They were lustful, definitely.

-Yes.

0:31:120:31:14

Maybe a goat mounted him one day.

0:31:140:31:15

But to mention goats, it wasn't like he can't have goats near him,

0:31:150:31:18

-it was like you can't mention goats around him.

-But I was thinking that

0:31:180:31:21

the connotation of goat, it might have some sort of taboo connotation

0:31:210:31:24

like when we use a word today that we wouldn't use in society

0:31:240:31:26

because it had a racial or sexist connotation.

0:31:260:31:28

Goat may well have had that sort of connotation,

0:31:280:31:30

-and if he had problems...

-You guys decide on this one.

0:31:300:31:32

Are we going to go with goats?

0:31:320:31:34

I think goats, cos I'm sure he was sleeping with his sister.

0:31:340:31:37

-I'm sure he was.

-Sunetra, goats?

0:31:370:31:39

I'm going for sister, but I think the majority should do this one,

0:31:390:31:42

so if you think it's goats, go with goats.

0:31:420:31:45

For no very good reason,

0:31:450:31:46

the panel has decided

0:31:460:31:47

that it was illegal to mention goats

0:31:470:31:50

around the Emperor Caligula.

0:31:500:31:52

Baa.

0:31:520:31:53

Interesting. It's not what I would have gone for,

0:31:540:31:57

but the more I think about it, I'm wondering if C just sounds a bit

0:31:570:32:01

too easy, and the goat is put in there to put us off.

0:32:010:32:05

So I think I'm going to agree with the panel and say B.

0:32:050:32:07

OK. You are going with the panel.

0:32:090:32:13

-Yep.

-For £500, it was illegal to mention goats around Caligula.

0:32:130:32:19

It's the correct statement!

0:32:250:32:27

Goats! I knew it!

0:32:270:32:30

I got that one wrong.

0:32:300:32:31

-Well done.

-The rutting, strutting Pan!

0:32:310:32:34

Well done. Germaine, you were right.

0:32:340:32:36

His name means "little boots".

0:32:360:32:38

Or "bootikins" was the nickname given to him by his father's troops.

0:32:390:32:44

And he wasn't keen on that.

0:32:440:32:46

He was very self-conscious about his looks.

0:32:460:32:48

He was tall, he was pale, he was hairy.

0:32:480:32:50

He was worried that people might think he looked like a goat.

0:32:500:32:53

He was assassinated by an officer of his own guard.

0:32:540:32:58

So the Roman word for boot was "caliga".

0:32:580:33:01

And that's where the little boots come from -

0:33:020:33:04

and Russell, you were right,

0:33:040:33:05

-he was accused of sleeping with his sister.

-Yes!

0:33:050:33:08

-But nothing was proved.

-No.

0:33:080:33:10

That's another £500 into the prize pot,

0:33:100:33:12

taking you up to a total of £2,300.

0:33:120:33:16

Well done, Hazel. You're playing the game so, so well.

0:33:190:33:21

£2,300 in the prize pot.

0:33:210:33:24

We have a chance to get this up to 2,800 with this question.

0:33:240:33:28

-Here it comes.

-Come on, team!

0:33:280:33:29

-Come on!

-A lot riding on this.

-Oh, no!

0:33:300:33:33

Oh, sport.

0:33:540:33:56

I am really not sure, but before the panel debate,

0:33:560:34:00

I would probably go for C, but I'm not sure at all.

0:34:000:34:04

OK, you are thinking C.

0:34:040:34:05

Let's see of the panel can help you out here.

0:34:050:34:07

Russell's shaking his head.

0:34:070:34:08

Your debate starts now.

0:34:080:34:10

-Any one of those...

-OK.

0:34:100:34:11

-OK, Sunetra.

-So, this is all I can help you with.

0:34:120:34:15

It's obviously going to be a bit of a guess.

0:34:150:34:17

But he is not older than Jamie Carragher.

0:34:170:34:20

Jamie Carragher's a bit older than him.

0:34:200:34:22

I'm going to avoid the second statement for a second

0:34:220:34:25

and go to the third one and say he will have scored

0:34:250:34:28

in the final of an FA Cup, and I know that in the Champions League,

0:34:280:34:31

the famous Champions League when Liverpool did win,

0:34:310:34:33

-which was a big deal. AC Milan, big deal.

-Famous.

0:34:330:34:36

I feel Gerard had something to do with that.

0:34:360:34:38

Now, the UEFA Cup, I don't know. I don't know it well enough to know...

0:34:380:34:42

-What is it?

-It's another cup. It's another trophy.

-Why?

0:34:420:34:46

But don't we think that he certainly would have been sent off twice

0:34:460:34:49

-when playing for England?

-Well, he's definitely been sent off once.

0:34:490:34:52

It's whether he was playing for England.

0:34:520:34:54

Remember he became captain and he was a really revered player.

0:34:540:34:56

To begin with when he was younger,

0:34:560:34:58

he kept his nose clean, he was really good,

0:34:580:34:59

-then he got a little bit more...

-Feisty.

-Feisty, yeah, and so for me,

0:34:590:35:03

I probably believe he has been sent off twice when playing for England.

0:35:030:35:07

And I know that would be really...

0:35:070:35:09

I know nothing about football, but that's not captain-ly conduct,

0:35:090:35:11

-to have been sent off twice.

-He hasn't been captain for all the time

0:35:110:35:14

-he played for England.

-Yeah, but it's still on your CV, isn't it?

0:35:140:35:17

You've got six points on your licence.

0:35:170:35:19

I mean, I have no clue, but they do tend to be more squeaky clean,

0:35:190:35:22

the captains, don't they?

0:35:220:35:23

Yeah.

0:35:230:35:24

Yes! Please stop shouting at me,

0:35:240:35:26

everyone at home watching on television!

0:35:260:35:29

I can't be sure that he scored in the finals of all three, FA Cup,

0:35:290:35:31

-Champions League and UEFA Cup.

-We have to go with Sunetra.

0:35:310:35:34

I'm so sorry. I can't believe I'm your best option here!

0:35:340:35:37

So, Sunetra's risking her neck.

0:35:370:35:39

The true statement there

0:35:390:35:41

is that Steven Gerrard has been sent off twice when playing for England.

0:35:410:35:45

So, Hazel, you'll never walk alone unless you're a member of this panel

0:35:480:35:51

and have been thrown under the bus by her other two fellow panellists!

0:35:510:35:54

Apparently it's all down to Sunetra on this one.

0:35:550:35:58

I know Sunetra's got some Liverpool players knowledge,

0:35:580:36:01

but I still think I'm going to go for C,

0:36:010:36:03

because I think I would remember it if he had been sent off twice

0:36:030:36:06

when playing for England, cos I think he's always been

0:36:060:36:08

quite a sort of gentlemanly kind of player as far as I know.

0:36:080:36:11

So I think I'm still going to go for C.

0:36:110:36:12

OK, you're going against the panel.

0:36:140:36:16

You are going against our Liverpool supporter.

0:36:160:36:19

-That's fine.

-For £500 to get us up to a prize pot of 2,800.

0:36:190:36:25

The correct statement is...

0:36:250:36:27

It's C! Well done!

0:36:320:36:36

Very well played!

0:36:360:36:40

What am I here for, really? I'm so sorry!

0:36:400:36:43

It was good knowledge. It was good knowledge that you had.

0:36:430:36:46

Gerrard has scored in the final of a League Cup, an FA Cup,

0:36:460:36:50

a Champions League and a UEFA Cup.

0:36:500:36:52

He was only sent off once for England against Ukraine in 2012.

0:36:520:36:57

His first England goal was in the 5-1 win against Germany

0:36:570:36:59

in a World Cup qualifier.

0:36:590:37:01

In 2001, Gerrard scored the goal to put England 2-1 up.

0:37:010:37:05

As a Manchester United supporter,

0:37:050:37:07

I would also give the other piece of trivia.

0:37:070:37:09

He never won the league.

0:37:090:37:10

Hazel, at the end of that round,

0:37:130:37:15

you were right to go against our panel.

0:37:150:37:17

The prize pot is up to £2,800.

0:37:170:37:20

Very well done!

0:37:200:37:21

Very well played.

0:37:240:37:26

It's a great amount of money.

0:37:260:37:28

-It is.

-Any plans for it if you managed get it today?

0:37:280:37:30

Yes, it's been my dream for such a long time to go to New York,

0:37:300:37:34

and I'd love to go and take my son.

0:37:340:37:35

-So, it's a trip to New York at stake.

-Yeah.

0:37:350:37:38

OK, Hazel, £2,800 up for grabs in the Final Debate

0:37:380:37:41

where you will face one question.

0:37:410:37:44

That question will have six possible answers, but only three are correct.

0:37:440:37:47

We need you to give us all three correct answers to win.

0:37:470:37:50

As before, you will not be walking alone.

0:37:500:37:53

You must choose one member of our panel to assist you.

0:37:530:37:56

You and your panellist will have 45 seconds to debate the question.

0:37:560:38:00

OK, Hazel, who would you like to join you in the Final Debate?

0:38:000:38:04

Will it be Russell with his small, unripened grapes?

0:38:040:38:07

Will you go off piste with Germaine?

0:38:070:38:10

Or do you never want to walk alone with Sunetra?

0:38:100:38:14

Well, I'd like to say thank you to all the panel,

0:38:160:38:18

cos it's been invaluable, all of your advice,

0:38:180:38:20

but I think I'm going to go for Russell.

0:38:200:38:22

-Oh, my God!

-OK. Russell,

0:38:220:38:23

would you please join us as we play the Final Debate?

0:38:230:38:26

OK, Russell, you have been chosen for the Final Debate.

0:38:310:38:34

Has Hazel made the right decision?

0:38:340:38:36

I mean, I, personally, on that performance,

0:38:360:38:38

would have picked Germaine, if I were you,

0:38:380:38:40

but I'm complimenting I'm going to do my best.

0:38:400:38:42

OK, he's disassociated himself from the Final Debate,

0:38:420:38:46

but also you know he's going to try his best.

0:38:460:38:48

Yeah. That's the main thing.

0:38:480:38:50

That is the main thing.

0:38:500:38:51

Well, look, there's £2,800 up for grabs.

0:38:510:38:53

We've got two categories for you to choose from,

0:38:530:38:56

because it is the Final Debate.

0:38:560:38:57

Have a look at these two. Tell us what you fancy.

0:38:570:38:59

US Geography. Chemistry.

0:39:020:39:06

How are you on Science?

0:39:060:39:07

I'm not bad on Science.

0:39:070:39:09

I'm good on Geography, but not great on US Geography.

0:39:090:39:12

-Have you got a bit of Science?

-I've got a bit of Science.

0:39:120:39:15

I've got a bit of Science.

0:39:150:39:16

So it's better if it's a subject we've both got a bit on.

0:39:160:39:19

-It's your choice, it's your money.

-I think we should go for Chemistry.

0:39:190:39:22

-OK.

-Yep, Chemistry.

0:39:220:39:24

OK, Chemistry it is.

0:39:240:39:26

We are going to put 45 seconds on the clock.

0:39:260:39:29

£2,800 up for grabs.

0:39:290:39:31

Hazel, the very best of luck.

0:39:310:39:33

Here is your Final Debate.

0:39:330:39:35

-We just chose Chemistry! What have we done?

-I know!

0:39:350:39:37

Yes.

0:39:450:39:46

-Lithium.

-Yes.

0:39:470:39:49

-Aluminium.

-No.

0:39:500:39:51

-Potassium.

-Yes.

0:39:520:39:54

-Sodium.

-No.

0:39:540:39:57

-Zinc.

-No.

0:39:570:39:59

-Gold.

-Hm...

-Your 45 seconds starts now.

0:39:590:40:01

Um... Are you thinking aluminium no,

0:40:010:40:03

because it's a metal?

0:40:030:40:04

I'm pretty sure that aluminium doesn't react with cold water

0:40:040:40:07

-given tin sheds are made out of them.

-You said...

0:40:070:40:08

Potassium and lithium are in the first group on the periodic table.

0:40:080:40:11

They have an exothermic reaction when they touch water and explode.

0:40:110:40:14

-OK.

-I'm guessing that out of zinc...

0:40:140:40:17

Gold is in the middle of the periodic table,

0:40:170:40:18

and definitely doesn't have a reaction with cold water,

0:40:180:40:21

-or we'd be in trouble.

-Isn't sodium something to do with salt?

0:40:210:40:23

-Wouldn't that have a reaction with water?

-Yes, I think sodium...

0:40:230:40:26

But it's not a violent reaction.

0:40:260:40:27

-I think sodium might be the first one in that group...

-OK.

0:40:270:40:30

..and have... And have a reaction with water.

0:40:300:40:34

Zinc, though. Zinc's bothering me.

0:40:340:40:36

Ten seconds.

0:40:360:40:38

It's definitely lithium

0:40:380:40:39

and potassium.

0:40:390:40:41

I would guess probably sodium.

0:40:410:40:42

Na is the chemical symbol if it's any help with that!

0:40:420:40:45

-Thank you!

-Time up, Hazel.

0:40:450:40:47

I need three answers.

0:40:470:40:49

OK. Lithium, potassium and sodium.

0:40:490:40:52

OK, Hazel. Thank you so much.

0:40:520:40:53

-Sodium I'm not sure.

-I know.

0:40:530:40:55

If those are the three answers, you go home with £2,800.

0:40:550:40:58

If one of them is wrong, Hazel, I'm afraid you will leave with nothing.

0:40:580:41:02

-OK.

-OK, we're all rooting for you here.

0:41:020:41:05

First up, you said lithium.

0:41:050:41:07

That definitely explodes. I've seen it.

0:41:070:41:09

Is lithium a correct answer?

0:41:090:41:10

-It is.

-The first group of metals.

0:41:140:41:17

-You are up and running.

-Yeah.

0:41:170:41:20

Next you said potassium.

0:41:200:41:21

If potassium is a correct answer, you're still in the game.

0:41:210:41:24

-If it's wrong...

-I'm sure it's the next one down,

0:41:240:41:26

and slightly more explosive than lithium in my memory.

0:41:260:41:29

To keep us on track for 2,800, is potassium a correct answer?

0:41:290:41:33

It is a correct answer!

0:41:380:41:40

It reacts so vigorously with water

0:41:410:41:43

that it actually ignites the hydrogen

0:41:430:41:45

-gas that it gives off.

-Wow.

-Correct.

0:41:450:41:47

So, you were right about that, Russell.

0:41:470:41:49

OK, Hazel, the third answer you gave me was sodium,

0:41:490:41:51

it was the one that you were least sure of.

0:41:510:41:54

If it is correct, it's £2,800.

0:41:540:41:57

If it's wrong, I'm afraid you do leave with nothing.

0:41:570:41:59

OK, we wish you all the best here, Hazel.

0:41:590:42:01

-OK.

-For £2,800...

0:42:010:42:04

..is sodium a correct answer?

0:42:050:42:07

We won!

0:42:190:42:21

We won!

0:42:210:42:22

Well done.

0:42:270:42:29

-Fantastic.

-Congratulations, Hazel, very well played.

0:42:290:42:33

I really doubted myself there.

0:42:330:42:34

-You did so well.

-Very well done.

0:42:340:42:37

And well played, Russell.

0:42:370:42:39

OK, Hazel, remind us again how you're going to spend the money.

0:42:390:42:41

I'm going to take my son to New York.

0:42:410:42:43

-OK, and Russell is coming along!

-Yes, I am.

0:42:430:42:45

I'm going to do an in-flight private dance for you.

0:42:450:42:48

-Perfect.

-Whether you like it or not!

0:42:480:42:51

Yeah, I'm not too sure now.

0:42:510:42:52

We need that periodic table knowledge now.

0:42:520:42:55

-The correct answers are all alkali metals.

-Metal.

0:42:550:42:57

They are all the elements below hydrogen in the first column

0:42:570:43:01

-of the periodic table.

-That's what you said.

0:43:010:43:03

Their reaction to...

0:43:030:43:05

Their reaction to water, much like Russell's dancing,

0:43:050:43:07

becomes increasingly violent

0:43:070:43:10

-the further down the column they go.

-As the cash goes up!

0:43:100:43:13

My dancing gets more violent.

0:43:130:43:14

Very well played here.

0:43:140:43:16

You leave today with £2,800.

0:43:160:43:18

Let's hear it for Hazel!

0:43:180:43:19

And that is it for Debatable.

0:43:230:43:24

There's just enough time for me to thank our fantastic panel,

0:43:240:43:27

to Russell Kane, to Germaine Greer and Sunetra Sarker.

0:43:270:43:30

I do hope you've enjoyed watching.

0:43:300:43:32

We'll see you next time for more heated debates.

0:43:320:43:34

For now, from me, goodbye!

0:43:340:43:35

Celebrity panel quiz show hosted by Patrick Kielty. Sunetra Sarker, Germaine Greer and Russell Kane debate their way through a series of tricky questions to try and help Hazel from Leeds walk away with a jackpot.