Episode 1 Delete, Delete, Delete


Episode 1

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Transcript


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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Thank you very much!

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Thank you.

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How's it going?

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Hello, good evening.

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Welcome to Delete, Delete, Delete,

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the show where our guests hand over their laptops

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and invite me to be airport security.

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Over the next half hour, I'll be having a friendly chat with them,

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waving most of them through, though some of them may be asked

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to step into that special room at the side with the washing-up gloves

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and no sink.

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So...who's got nothing to declare?

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Let's meet tonight's guests.

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First up, we have the Christian Grey of broadcasting.

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He is sexy, he's silver-haired,

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and he's a masochist.

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That's why he's given us his password instead of his safe word.

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Please welcome George Lamb!

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Thank you very much, George.

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Up next, a presenter and DJ who won Bear Grylls: Mission Survive

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by drinking her own urine...

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GROANING AND LAUGHS

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So she assures us that she's all set for a night on the piss in Belfast.

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It's Vogue Williams!

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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-How you doing? Are you well?

-Mwah.

-Thank you very much.

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Now, I know what you're thinking.

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"Each guest is better looking than the last, Paddy.

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"Surely this can't continue?!"

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Oh, but it can.

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He is the biggest snooker star to ever come out of Northern Ireland...

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who is still alive.

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It's the legendary Dennis Taylor!

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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-How you doing? Good to see you.

-There you go.

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Thank you very much. Welcome to the show.

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-Delighted to be here, Patrick.

-Thank you for having us.

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It's a very sexy sofa, I have to say, Dennis.

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Well, it looks from here that it is.

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Now, George, no stranger to Belfast.

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Yeah. I've been here three times in the last month.

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I love it. It's a great city.

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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It's a great city!

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So what have you been doing here?

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I've been doing a show called Solitary for...Channel 5.

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It's kind of loosely related to this, it's figuring out...

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It's like an antisocial experiment, figuring out how people cope

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when you disconnect them from everything.

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So they've got no computer, no social media, no telephone,

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no family, no TV, etc, etc.

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So it's essentially internment.

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Yeah!

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You also have family here, though.

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I do have family. I've been hanging out with...

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I've got cousins who live in Lenadoon...and so...

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LAUGHTER

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I've been hanging out with them.

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Now, do you know where Lenadoon is?

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No, I don't, at all.

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It's a very posh part of...

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LAUGHTER

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..of Belfast.

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I got tweeted. Somebody said,

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"I think I've just seen George Lamb in Lenadoon.

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"Are you lost, buddy?"

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Well, believe it or not,

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you all have something in common

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because, online, you all started Twitter in 2011.

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-Mm. Good year.

-Now, Dennis, we all know that you have owned Twitter.

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-Owned it?

-Yes, here we go.

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Here's your first tweet...

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And since then you haven't tweeted that much.

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I haven't drank either!

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No, I still do the odd tweet, but not as much as I used to do.

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Now, Vogue, can you remember your first tweet?

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-No.

-Here it is.

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"Twitter, do not take over my life!"

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Yeah, that worked.

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How many tweets have you sent?

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Since 2011?

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Oh, God...

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Five years, I don't know.

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Loads.

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22,000 tweets.

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22,000?!

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What are you tweeting about?!

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Now, that is an average of ten tweets a day.

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That's so embarrassing!

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That's why I'm single - I'm too busy on Twitter.

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You know, Snapchat's actually great for that,

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especially when you're single,

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you get a little look at something every day!

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LAUGHTER

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Talk us through this.

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So on Snapchat, like, I have mine open so people, like,

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can comment to me, but sometimes, like, practically every day,

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you get a dick shot.

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Like, every day.

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And some of them are hideous and I'm like,

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"How could you send someone that?"

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Think that was going to be the conversation starter.

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-"Hey!"

-Yes, bingo!

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I'm in!

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Did you say a TRICK shot?

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Yeah!

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APPLAUSE

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Yeah.

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-Now, George...

-Yes.

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This is very, very sweet

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because the first person that you followed on Twitter was...

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-..your dad.

-My dad, OK.

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-Great.

-There he is.

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There is Larry.

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Now, we have to talk about this, your dad is in I'm A Celebrity...

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-He is indeed.

-..at the moment.

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-Yeah.

-This show doesn't go out until after it's all over,

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so what we want to do is just to get a few answers from you...

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-OK, then you cut in...

-Then we'll cut them in, just to make it look

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-like we know what we're talking about.

-No problem.

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-So, you take that.

-Right.

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So here we go, we'll just cut this in.

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So, George, you know, we all know your dad was in I'm A Celebrity,

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that was unbelievable.

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Yeah, well, you know what, Pat, I'm so proud of my dad winning Celebrity

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and being King of the Jungle.

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You know, he was brilliant in there and erm...

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and it was great that everybody got to know the real him.

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We need another one, just...

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So, George, your dad was in I'm A Celebrity last year,

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that was unbelievable!

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Yeah, well, I'd like to apologise for the filthy behaviour...

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And what he did to that kangaroo was completely...

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..completely out of order.

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And we're all wishing him well for the court case, so...

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Just one more.

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So your dad was in I'm a Celebrity last year, that was unbelievable!

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Yeah. You know, we had no idea how well he was going to get on with

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Carol Vorderman and erm...

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..we're all looking forward to the big day, actually,

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and I can't wait to finally call Carol "Mummy", so that's...

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..ideal.

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APPLAUSE

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OK. George, let's check out some of your sites.

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-Yes.

-Now, this one is a recent favourite.

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It's huge. Colour therapy glasses.

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Momentum98.

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-Yeah.

-So what is this?

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So they're colour therapy glasses, and they're incredible,

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they change your life. It's like healing through colour.

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And you put them on, and you wear them for, like, half an hour a day,

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and honestly... I like the yellow ones,

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they genuinely make you a happier person.

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It's like sunshine in your pocket.

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Like, another gloomy day in Belfast, whip 'em out,

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half an hour later, you're, like, everything's fine.

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So basically it's like taking an E.

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Yes. But you can still hold it together.

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Yeah.

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Let's have a little look at them, here they are...

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-Yeah.

-I won the Masters with a pair of multicoloured spectacles

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and I had all those colours in my glasses.

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APPLAUSE

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Actually when I bought them, I was like,

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they're a bit like Dennis Taylor glasses, do you know what I mean?

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Well, you actually did, you bought a pair. Here you are in them.

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There's me.

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Looking quite cool!

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-We have some here.

-Of course you do.

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See, YOU look cool in them...

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I pop these on,

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I look like a Poundland Bono.

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APPLAUSE

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Now, we were actually going to get the whole audience glasses,

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but they only had orange and green left,

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and we weren't sure what type... LAUGHTER

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We weren't sure what type of mood that would put you in.

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So what am I meant to be feeling here, George?

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Horny, at the beginning,

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and then it'll just work through to euphoria, basically.

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-I've got the first bit...

-Yeah.

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Just keep 'em on for the rest of the show, you'll be golden. OK.

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The official explanation from the website says...

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"Colour therapy is simply the therapy of using colours to heal.

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"Colours vibrate true to frequency.

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"It never deviates, but people deviate."

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I feel like you're mocking me here, Patrick.

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I haven't come all this way to be mocked

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about my yellow glasses, mate.

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Have you ever replied to an e-mail from a Nigerian prince?

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I promise you, you take them home after the show,

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and we'll speak next week, and you'll be a far happier man.

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-So how long do I have to keep them on for?

-Half an hour a day.

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Cos the website is very, very strict about this.

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-Yeah.

-They say...

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The colour therapy glasses can be worn daily for 30-60 minutes,

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or you can wear them as long as you like.

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But it's a 30 to 60-minute minimum.

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Here we go. So, Vogue, do you want to...?

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-What does red do?

-Are these the angry ones? They're probably angry.

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No, they get you in a good mood.

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Oh, I don't want to be sad. I'll have the...

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None of them are sad, none of them are sad. I'll take them, happily.

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-You want those ones?

-Yeah.

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-I'd half believe this.

-I can't feel... My eyes are not too good!

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I rang the optician yesterday, he said, "I can't see you today."

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I thought, "Well, he's not very good."

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APPLAUSE

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Stick those on next time you're in the commentary box.

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"There he is, there's Ronnie O'Sullivan, he's potted 15 greens...

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"He's only got six greens to go."

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OK, here we go.

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If you want to hop in here, we'll get a pic of everybody, hang on.

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Hop in, everybody, hop in, this is good.

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And... Nice!

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Oh, lovely. Oh, I like it.

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That's a pretty good snooker stance you've got there, Patrick.

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That's not bad. That's nice.

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-That's great!

-Oh, I'm definitely keeping these.

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-What do you think?

-I love them.

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I think that's a very good look, so what we'll do is

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we'll just edit this,

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and we'll put this out to publicise the show, so we'll just...

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There we go.

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There we go, and then...

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There we go, we'll tweet that. Let's tweet that!

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APPLAUSE

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Now, Dennis, let's talk about your online shopping

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because there's one or two things that you've bought

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that you may not remember, but it's in here, and...

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It's got me slightly confused.

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It's got me confused as well.

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You bought this.

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This is the St Patrick's Day Pot of Gold at the End of a Rainbow

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-cookie cutter.

-Yeah, cookie cutter.

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We actually have it here and I think I've lost my appetite.

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Now, Dennis, I've heard of a Hobnob, but...

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..what's going on here?

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It just fascinated me.

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It wasn't the picture, it was just how it was described.

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Looks a little bit Ann Summers.

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Have you anything to say in your defence here?

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Well, it just... It looks... you know...

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It reminds me every time I have a shower!

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OK, Vogue...

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You also do a little bit of Internet shopping yourself.

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-Mm-hm.

-And I found something on there which...

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It's not as disturbing as Dennis's purchase.

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-No.

-But it's close.

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Oh, yeah.

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SHE LAUGHS

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Now, this is called the Licky Brush.

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It's brilliant!

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What in the name of God is this?

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I would just like to say I don't have a cat, by the way,

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-so that is not...

-That's even weirder!

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What the fuck are you doing?!

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Buying a Licky Brush, you don't even have a cat,

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have you lost your mind?!

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This is what it is.

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This is the prototype, so they've sent it to us.

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I've got four Standard Poodles.

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Can you use it on a dog?

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-I think you can.

-You can do whatever you like, Dennis.

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So I think it's used something like this, so...

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LAUGHTER

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"Ah, Mr Bond...

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"I HAVEN'T been expecting you, that's why I'm licking my cat."

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So this is actually meant to help you bond.

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-With your cat.

-With your cat.

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Cos cats are arseholes,

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so you want to... You have to get in there any way you can with them.

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Now, I have to say this doesn't work with all cats.

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I tried this at home and it didn't go down well.

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APPLAUSE

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OK!

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"Dear BBC,

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"please get that Irish prick off my telly"

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is just one of the things the internet says about me.

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But what does it say about our guests?

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Let's find out, in the part of the show that we call

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Things The Internet Says About You.

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Vogue, do you look yourself up much online?

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-I'll always read comments - I can't help myself.

-Really?

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And they're violent. Yeah.

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Why put yourself through that?

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I don't know. Cos if I don't read them, my mum'll ring and say,

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"Did you see what they were saying about you?"

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And I'm like, "No, but now I'm going to go and look!"

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So does it wind you up, then, George,

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when you read stuff about yourself that ISN'T true?

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I stopped looking, I definitely stopped looking at, like,

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what people write about me a long time ago.

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Of course you do it at the beginning and you have a little look

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and then it's horrific,

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and you're like, "Ah, this is horrible, I feel terrible."

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So I haven't done it for many years.

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One of the things that we found about you on the interweb machine

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was this...

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Well, that is 100% true.

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I'm like Samson, that's where it all comes from.

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You probably have the best hair...

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-You're very kind, sir.

-..in Britain, I would say.

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-Thank you.

-This was it in its... earlier days.

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-Right, OK.

-See?

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-When did it start going grey?

-16.

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-16?

-16, yeah. Not like, not full-on, but at 16 I started getting greys.

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And it wasn't cool, then. I wasn't into it at all.

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I was like, "Shit, Mum, look! What's happening?!"

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And then by 20, my mid-20s, about 25-26, it all really started going.

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But then I was like, "Yes, let's go with this."

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It's a very, very cool, sexy look, isn't it?

0:14:550:14:58

I definitely wouldn't mind that, yeah! It wouldn't...

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It wouldn't matter what colour it was!

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Well, what we can do, Dennis, we can actually have a little look

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and see what you would look like with it.

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God, I look like one of my aunts that I lived with in England!

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This is me with your hair.

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Doesn't work! It's just your thing. This is you with my hair.

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There we are!

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Donald Trump, the early years!

0:15:310:15:33

You have been in a number of polls.

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-Yes.

-I have to say, you've done quite well on these lists.

0:15:380:15:41

You were on the Britain's Most Eligible Bachelor list

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a few years back.

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Also on the list, Jamie Dornan...

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SOME OOHS

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Guy Ritchie, Jude Law, Jenson Button.

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Where do you think he was, Dennis, in relation to those guys?

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They're all pretty good-looking guys, aren't they?

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But George would be up there.

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I would certainly have him in my top three.

0:15:580:16:01

Thank you, Dennis, you're very kind!

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APPLAUSE

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OK, well, look, let's play a little game, here.

0:16:090:16:11

On the list of eligible bachelors,

0:16:110:16:14

did George come higher or lower on the list than this man?

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Is George higher or lower on the list than Simon Cowell?

0:16:190:16:22

-What do we think? ALL:

-Higher!

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Even though I had George in my top three, I would say lower!

0:16:240:16:26

This is turning into a weird party, Dennis!

0:16:290:16:32

Was he higher on the list than Simon Cowell?

0:16:320:16:35

He was!

0:16:360:16:37

APPLAUSE

0:16:370:16:38

Next up, we have...

0:16:400:16:42

-..Russell Brand.

-Definitely higher.

0:16:440:16:45

-ALL:

-Higher.

0:16:450:16:47

Higher than Russell Brand?

0:16:470:16:49

Is correct!

0:16:500:16:52

APPLAUSE

0:16:520:16:53

OK, so this is for the caravan and the speedboat!

0:16:550:16:58

Was he higher than this man?

0:17:000:17:01

Oh!

0:17:030:17:04

Oh, everyone wants to be a princess!

0:17:040:17:06

Yeah. Me, too!

0:17:060:17:07

Oh, that's a real hard...

0:17:100:17:11

-Like, you're better looking than him as well.

-What do we think, audience?

0:17:110:17:14

AUDIENCE SHOUT You're going lower.

0:17:140:17:17

For the match!

0:17:170:17:18

Yeah! He was lower!

0:17:200:17:22

So, I can tell you that on this list, George,

0:17:220:17:25

Prince Harry was number one.

0:17:250:17:27

George Lamb, number two.

0:17:280:17:31

Oh, my God!

0:17:310:17:32

AUDIENCE OOHS AND APPLAUDS

0:17:320:17:34

What are we applauding?! What are we applauding?!

0:17:360:17:39

You're so good-looking!

0:17:390:17:41

Dennis, this is something we found about you.

0:17:410:17:43

PLEASE tell me this is true!

0:17:430:17:46

LAUGHING: Dennis Taylor was married to Carol Vorderman.

0:17:460:17:50

It's on the internet for some reason.

0:17:500:17:52

I don't know how that got onto the internet

0:17:520:17:54

because I remember doing the show with Carol, you know, Countdown.

0:17:540:17:57

I did it a good few years ago.

0:17:570:17:59

And I remember saying to Carol, I said,

0:17:590:18:01

"I was watching you last week on Countdown, Carol,

0:18:010:18:04

"and I got aroused."

0:18:040:18:06

And she said... She said, "Thank you, Dennis."

0:18:060:18:08

I said, "Yeah, seven letters!"

0:18:080:18:10

APPLAUSE

0:18:120:18:13

There's nothing wrong with that one!

0:18:130:18:15

Time, now, to go viral

0:18:180:18:19

and check out the internet clips that have caught your eye.

0:18:190:18:21

Vogue, this is one that you watched quite a lot.

0:18:210:18:25

Don't make unnecessary journeys!

0:18:260:18:29

Don't take risks on treacherous roads!

0:18:290:18:32

And don't swim in the sea!

0:18:320:18:34

Incredibly, people have been spotted in the water here in Blackrock

0:18:340:18:39

in Salthill, both today and yesterday.

0:18:390:18:42

Galway City Council say their actions are idiotic.

0:18:420:18:47

Not only are they putting their lives in danger,

0:18:470:18:50

but it is unacceptable and unforgivable

0:18:500:18:53

to put the lives of people in the rescue services at danger as well.

0:18:530:18:57

APPLAUSE

0:19:000:19:02

The Irish summer, hey?

0:19:030:19:04

Look, it wasn't even that bad.

0:19:050:19:07

It's just her, that she's constantly spitting into the mic and stuff.

0:19:070:19:10

She's just really making a big deal of it!

0:19:100:19:12

Yeah, what's weird about this is that she's basically saying,

0:19:120:19:15

"Don't go out, it's terrible, it's awful,

0:19:150:19:18

"don't make any unnecessary journeys."

0:19:180:19:19

She's the only one out!

0:19:190:19:21

Everybody else is in their car going, "Who's that mad bitch?!"

0:19:220:19:25

We also have this one that you looked at a few times, Vogue.

0:19:270:19:30

LAUGHTER

0:19:430:19:44

Oh, come on!

0:19:580:20:00

Irish people laughing at someone because they can't walk straight,

0:20:010:20:04

come on!

0:20:040:20:05

What is going on here?

0:20:070:20:08

She almost made it, that's impressive, I think,

0:20:080:20:11

-but also hilarious.

-She did.

-Yeah.

-What do we think it was?

0:20:110:20:14

Do we think it was the shoes, was it the technique?

0:20:140:20:17

I think she must have been trying to do some really cool walk

0:20:170:20:20

because the shoes just weren't that high.

0:20:200:20:22

Does she take a drink?

0:20:220:20:23

So you've done a bit of modelling.

0:20:250:20:26

When you look at that, do you feel sorry for her?

0:20:260:20:28

You don't, you're breaking your hoop laughing, aren't you?

0:20:280:20:31

She's got to work harder at walking in heels.

0:20:310:20:33

Look at these. I can walk in them, they're really high.

0:20:330:20:35

They are quite high. What are they?

0:20:350:20:37

-Four inches.

-No, that's more than four inches, I can tell you that.

0:20:370:20:41

No, honestly. Let me see.

0:20:430:20:44

-APPLAUSE

-Oh, God!

0:20:440:20:46

I love being with Dennis,

0:20:480:20:49

I feel like I'm in the '80s again, it's amazing!

0:20:490:20:52

I love the fact, George, it's wintertime,

0:20:530:20:55

you're just bossing runners, no socks.

0:20:550:20:57

No socks, mate, no socks, yeah.

0:20:570:20:58

But are your wee pinkies not cold?

0:20:580:21:00

Yup, they are.

0:21:010:21:03

I try not to wear socks, I don't know, I'm not into them.

0:21:030:21:05

I had four weeks in India and I didn't wear any socks,

0:21:050:21:08

but I did it because my feet were warm, that's why!

0:21:080:21:11

We were doing a series for the BBC,

0:21:120:21:14

it was eight pensioners going to India

0:21:140:21:16

called The Real Marigold Hotel.

0:21:160:21:18

Did anybody watch the last...?

0:21:180:21:20

And it's what you would do if you retired to India,

0:21:200:21:23

and it was absolutely fascinating.

0:21:230:21:25

But what they did do, Patrick, they took me up to Ooty,

0:21:250:21:28

because the game of snooker originated in India in 1875,

0:21:280:21:34

-and I knew that.

-Who were you playing?

0:21:340:21:35

APPLAUSE

0:21:380:21:39

And I didn't know it was going to happen, but they took me up to Ooty,

0:21:430:21:46

which is 6,000 feet up,

0:21:460:21:48

and the club where the game of snooker was invented,

0:21:480:21:51

they let me into the club, quite an exclusive club,

0:21:510:21:54

and the table is still there,

0:21:540:21:56

and I got to play on the table

0:21:560:21:58

where the first game of snooker was invented.

0:21:580:22:01

And, believe it or not, it was a Sir Neville Chamberlain

0:22:010:22:04

that invented snooker

0:22:040:22:06

and he was Irish.

0:22:060:22:07

So it was an Irishman that invented snooker,

0:22:070:22:09

so that's something new for you.

0:22:090:22:11

APPLAUSE

0:22:110:22:13

Now, you can tell a lot about a person from what they say,

0:22:170:22:20

but a lot more from what they Google.

0:22:200:22:22

It's time for your top internet searches.

0:22:220:22:25

Let's start with Vogue.

0:22:250:22:26

Here we go.

0:22:260:22:28

Can you die of a hangover? SHE LAUGHS

0:22:290:22:32

You really don't need to ask the internet - can you die of a hangover?

0:22:320:22:35

If you could die from a hangover,

0:22:350:22:37

you'd be sitting here on your own with an empty studio!

0:22:370:22:40

Let's be honest!

0:22:400:22:42

Is the Dalai Lama a group of people?

0:22:420:22:44

Yeah. Like, I have two degrees, so you know I'm not stupid!

0:22:460:22:50

But I have these moments where I say stupid things,

0:22:500:22:52

and someone was talking about the Dalai Lama,

0:22:520:22:54

and I thought they were a group of people.

0:22:540:22:56

But then I realised... Well, they told me,

0:22:560:22:59

is it only one person or have I got mixed around again?

0:22:590:23:01

It's two people.

0:23:010:23:03

-No, it's one person!

-LAUGHTER

0:23:030:23:05

How does Warhorse end?

0:23:050:23:07

I'm not the best at watching movies,

0:23:070:23:09

so I usually Google the end of a movie

0:23:090:23:10

if I'm watching it with somebody,

0:23:100:23:12

so then I know what's going to happen, so I don't get caught out.

0:23:120:23:15

So you've never seen the controversial sex scene

0:23:150:23:17

between Tom Hiddleston and Joey the horse at the end of this, no?

0:23:170:23:20

Is Tom Hiddleston in that?

0:23:200:23:21

No, he's not.

0:23:210:23:22

Tom Hiddleston's in that.

0:23:220:23:24

-Is he?

-Yes.

0:23:240:23:25

He's playing the Dalai Lama, or one half of!

0:23:250:23:27

I'm going to go and Google that Dalai Lama thing myself

0:23:290:23:31

when I leave here because I can't trust anyone!

0:23:310:23:33

I'm in the new remake of Lassie!

0:23:330:23:35

For our viewers watching in black and white...

0:23:380:23:40

I'm playing the lead, that's what I'm playing!

0:23:410:23:44

APPLAUSE

0:23:460:23:47

So, Dennis, we looked at a lot of your favourite sites,

0:23:500:23:53

one that did catch our eye involved Las Vegas,

0:23:530:23:55

a woman in high heels and someone bent over a table.

0:23:550:23:57

Does this ring any bells?

0:23:570:23:59

Um... I think I know what it is.

0:24:000:24:02

-I think I know what it is.

-OK.

0:24:020:24:04

It's this.

0:24:040:24:05

Venom, he's a legend.

0:24:080:24:10

SLOW-MO BREATH

0:24:190:24:21

DRUM N BASS PLAYS

0:24:210:24:22

LAUGHTER

0:24:220:24:23

APPLAUSE

0:24:490:24:50

Now, he's very good.

0:24:540:24:55

I mean, nobody there was looking at the woman on the table at all.

0:24:550:24:58

We were all engrossed in the man's skills!

0:24:580:25:00

He's a total genius.

0:25:000:25:01

And, I mean, the girls don't mean anything to me now.

0:25:010:25:04

At my age, you're not looking at the girls.

0:25:040:25:06

I mean, I remember, I shouldn't say this really, but I...

0:25:060:25:10

I went on a site and it was, you know, one of them sites,

0:25:110:25:14

one of them funny sites...

0:25:140:25:15

There was a little bit of porn there and...

0:25:170:25:19

I knew I was finished when I was looking at it

0:25:210:25:23

and I said to myself, "God, that bed looks comfortable!"

0:25:230:25:26

I would say he is the best trick shot player I have ever seen.

0:25:290:25:33

He is incredible, what he can do with that snooker cue.

0:25:330:25:36

Absolutely incredible.

0:25:360:25:37

LAUGHTER

0:25:370:25:38

I mean, come on!

0:25:410:25:42

Now, the man himself is actually on a plane as we speak.

0:25:430:25:47

But he is also a huge fan of you.

0:25:470:25:49

-You're kidding.

-I am, so...

0:25:490:25:50

I'm sorry, I'm not!

0:25:500:25:52

But he sent you this message.

0:25:560:25:58

Hi, Dennis, it's Florian.

0:25:580:26:00

I'm a big fan of yours, I watch many of your videos online.

0:26:000:26:03

It's actually pretty surprising

0:26:030:26:05

and such an honour that you watch my stuff,

0:26:050:26:07

and I'm really hoping you can show me some of your new trick shots.

0:26:070:26:11

-Wow!

-APPLAUSE

0:26:110:26:16

Well, he actually wants you to show him some tricks,

0:26:160:26:19

so are you up for the challenge, Dennis?

0:26:190:26:21

I've got one that I might be able to show him.

0:26:210:26:23

We have got our snooker table,

0:26:230:26:24

we have got our trick shot wizard Dennis Taylor.

0:26:240:26:27

All we need now is a sexy assistant.

0:26:270:26:29

Now, George, you used to do a little bit of modelling.

0:26:290:26:32

Vogue, you also sometimes do a little bit of modelling still.

0:26:320:26:35

So, let's have a little chat and see who's going to help Dennis.

0:26:350:26:39

APPLAUSE

0:26:390:26:40

And, to help me out with this fantastic trick shot,

0:26:440:26:47

would you please welcome my glamorous assistant

0:26:470:26:49

Patrick Kielty!

0:26:490:26:51

APPLAUSE

0:26:510:26:54

WOLF WHISTLES

0:26:540:26:55

CHEERING

0:26:550:26:56

So, Dennis, where do you want me?

0:27:010:27:03

I don't know now, I'm a bag of nerves!

0:27:050:27:07

All you've got to do is you sit on the table,

0:27:090:27:11

throw your legs over the end,

0:27:110:27:13

lie down with your head about here,

0:27:130:27:15

looking up at the ceiling.

0:27:150:27:16

It's as simple as that. And you look absolutely stunning!

0:27:160:27:20

I've done that a few nights, Dennis, so...

0:27:210:27:23

LAUGHTER AND CHEERING

0:27:240:27:26

That's absolutely perfect!

0:27:310:27:32

I think we might have three pinks, Dennis!

0:27:450:27:47

I've...

0:27:510:27:52

I've got the white on a block of chalk here.

0:27:520:27:54

And if you could just bite that for me, Patrick, could you?

0:27:550:27:58

Looking straight up.

0:28:010:28:02

Yup.

0:28:020:28:03

And the black.

0:28:030:28:04

Right, now, the black's in a tricky position as well.

0:28:040:28:08

Now, I've got to pot the black out of...

0:28:080:28:09

Sorry, what was your first name again?

0:28:090:28:11

Black out of Patrick's mouth, in the top pocket.

0:28:130:28:15

You'll have to keep quiet, Patrick.

0:28:150:28:17

ALL: Oooh....

0:28:200:28:21

YES!

0:28:210:28:22

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:28:220:28:24

THEY LAUGH

0:28:260:28:29

That's all we've got time for tonight! Here's your devices back.

0:28:380:28:40

Thank you very much. There you go, Dennis, to Vogue, to George.

0:28:400:28:43

Come on, give them a round of applause!

0:28:430:28:44

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:28:440:28:45

Dennis Taylor, Vogue Williams and George Lamb!

0:28:450:28:48

We'll see you next time on Delete, Delete, Delete.

0:28:480:28:50

Goodnight!

0:28:500:28:51

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:28:510:28:53

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