Episode 4 Election Spy
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Transcript
| Line | From | To | |
|---|---|---|---|
This programme contains some strong language. | :00:00. | :00:18. | |
After May's performance, I'm not sure if I'd admit that I was voting | :00:19. | :00:25. | |
Sure, there's lots of people on NHS waiting lists, but | :00:26. | :00:28. | |
hopefully they'll be in too much pain to get out and vote. | :00:29. | :00:31. | |
We say it'll be incredibly close to get our vote | :00:32. | :00:39. | |
We know that the throwing a dead cat on the table strategy is useful, but | :00:40. | :01:01. | |
we don't use an actual cat. It is a metaphor, we spoke about metaphors. | :01:02. | :01:09. | |
I got my nephew to do it. The FBI are saying he is just a person of | :01:10. | :01:15. | |
interest. I miss that sexy, wheezy chuckle. They keep stealing our | :01:16. | :01:27. | |
clothes. We need to move further to the right. He needs to announce we | :01:28. | :01:34. | |
are going to bring back hanging. And Paul will do it himself. | :01:35. | :01:37. | |
We can't send something out that calls Theresa | :01:38. | :01:44. | |
Anyone with a vagina. | :01:45. | :01:51. | |
Besides, I thought you were all for 'reclaiming' language? | :01:52. | :01:55. | |
We've reclaimed 'slut' and 'queer', but pussy is still up for | :01:56. | :01:58. | |
Anyway, there are lots of words for coward. | :01:59. | :02:01. | |
'Yellow' could be problematic for people of Asiatic | :02:02. | :02:08. | |
They're the last group it is OK to offend. | :02:09. | :02:24. | |
It's for tonight's Question Time viewing party. | :02:25. | :02:33. | |
Oh, god, I don't know what's worse, the fact that Tim had a car-crash | :02:34. | :02:48. | |
interview with Andrew Neil or the fact that no-one's bloody | :02:49. | :02:51. | |
Jesus, we're in total fucking crisis! | :02:52. | :02:54. | |
No, no, a crisis is when your leader pays a hit-man to shoot his | :02:55. | :03:04. | |
Still, least it got us lots of coverage. | :03:05. | :03:14. | |
Maybe if Tim shot Andrew Neil's dog... | :03:15. | :03:19. | |
I know when she smiles she looks like she's an extra in Deliverance, | :03:20. | :03:26. | |
but we're bringing in an American smile consultant. | :03:27. | :03:28. | |
What, and Theresa visit another Festival of Cheese? | :03:29. | :03:33. | |
Toby, oi, have you put the complaint in about the | :03:34. | :03:44. | |
And tell them we need more shouty shouters to drown out | :03:45. | :03:53. | |
That's the trouble with being supported by the silent | :03:54. | :03:56. | |
So, now we're going big on immigration. | :03:57. | :04:00. | |
Any joy with that research into Tim's family to find more directly | :04:01. | :04:22. | |
I've just got back as far as his great-grantparents, | :04:23. | :04:28. | |
but sadly they died of natural causes. | :04:29. | :04:30. | |
We could make something up... | :04:31. | :04:32. | |
got rickets cos Thatcher stopped the free milk. | :04:33. | :04:35. | |
We're the Lib Dems, no-one'll check it. | :04:36. | :04:48. | |
This Thanet Tory charged with fiddling election expenses... | :04:49. | :04:50. | |
The whole Thanet thing was a joke. | :04:51. | :04:52. | |
There was this candidate called Murray who said he was a pub | :04:53. | :04:55. | |
landlord, and I know for a fact he didn't run a pub. | :04:56. | :04:58. | |
If this MacKinlay went to prison it wouldn't bring Nigel's career back | :04:59. | :05:01. | |
I'm not a vindictive woman, but I hope David Cameron ends up in | :05:02. | :05:09. |