Episode 5 Election Spy


Episode 5

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As a Lib Dem I'd obviously prefer to suspend

:00:15.:00:17.

well, after the election's over but the terrorists want that

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so sod them and let's do

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Too many late nights. I'm starting to have the conspiracy theories. I'm

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worried. Where are you Ukip Councillor holds golly would go hen

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night stories? You know Julian? No. No-one is pouring a bucket of sheet

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over our heads. Doing brilliantly at the flag and rifle. My local. We're

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at 2% in the polls. That's just the liberal elet. We're polling highly

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in the 80-90 age bracket. It's good it's a short campaign. Because in

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2015 we lost a few before polling day. Who is this Julian? No-one. In

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times of national mourning you need one leader to bring the country

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together. We are all united that he is a

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complete twit. Yes, it would be fantastic to have President Trump

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come over here and show solidarity. It is quite a busy week over here.

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What with the general election and everything. No, no. It will be all

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day on Thursday. Imagine a Labour-led coalition in charge of

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Trident, Corbyn won't press the button, Nicola Sturgeon won't be

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able to reach it. Leanne what's her name will only be able to fire it if

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the instructions are in Welsh. Add the Greens will expect the missiles

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to be recyclable. I'm not enthusiastic we do fire it. I always

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imagined Nigel and me trapped underground in a nuclear bunker.

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Well, you're not the only one. You'd actually do it? Yes, of course I

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would. Under extreme circumstances, as Jeremy says. You have to do

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what's necessary. You would push the button? I would. To call Diane

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Abbott to go on Newsnight? Yes! Corbyn is calling on Theresa to

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resign, utterly ridiculous, Grandstanding. Can we get Amber Rudd

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elected leader by Wednesday? No. Oh, bustard. I don't think this about

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the terrorist links works, you can't see it's him under the balaclava.

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How about our mental health policy, Trident, the NHS, why does it always

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have to be about Tim's views on gay sex. Can I just say we are one of

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the gayest parties in the UK. We are, the SNP say that they are, but

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they're actually really quite a straight party. Coincidentally I'm

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sitting here with Brian who is himself very gay, he is. He has a

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husband and everything. You should speak to him. I think Timothies that

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gays are sinners, but he's perfectly happy for hell to sort it out. How

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much more liberal can you get than that. Abortion on the other hand...

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Sorry, there's a fire drill.

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